Rev It N Go Reviews | Morbius | Madame Web | Kraven The Hunter | Sony's Spider-Man Universe

Continuing the Road to Doomsday with 3 movies in Sony's Spider-Man Universe. Those movies are Morbius, Madame Web, and Kraven The Hunter.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:21

Yeah, because today's our doomsday because we have to watch these awful movies.

SPEAKER_01 0:25

Oh goodness. It's weird to say it. They're all awful, but some are better than others. And those movies are. It's really not. Those movies are. I already forgot the movies. Morbius, Madam Webb, and Craven the Hunter. We're diving back into Sony's not Spider-Man Spider-Verse. Live action stuff. So villain verse. That's what we're deeming it now. But at the same time, they're heroes. I don't know. This movie does this. They don't know what they're doing.

SPEAKER_02 1:01

They don't. Like somebody should just give up. I don't know why they don't they don't just let it go.

SPEAKER_01 1:07

They did. They're not making it no more. Thank goodness.

SPEAKER_02 1:09

I know they're making it no more. But they won't let go of the license. They know they can't make these movies, dude.

SPEAKER_01 1:14

They just can't. They're not giving up, they're not giving up the Spider-Man licenses. I mean, just look look at what the Spider-Man brand new day trailer did. One billion views in like two days. They're never giving that up.

SPEAKER_02 1:26

But that's only because it's still part of the MCU and they're still giving shit to like uh Disney because they don't want to hand it over, or they don't want either way, they wouldn't be giving it up.

SPEAKER_01 1:38

Either way.

unknown 1:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:40

Big benefit to the fact that it is in the MCU though. Um yeah. Let's be real, that's the only reason it succeeded. Yeah, you might have a point there. Um plus they don't have to try as hard. They're like, uh, we don't really gotta come up with the story since they got it. They got it covered. Yeah. Unfortunately, we're not talking about the greatness that is the MCU's Spider-Man. We're talking about the unbearableness that is the Sony's villain anti-hero universe. Um, yeah, we're gonna be getting into it. Before we do, make sure to follow us over on Instagram at Revan and Go Pod for Mayan Adam's quick movie reviews. Go check out Adam's most recent review of Ted season two, which he deemed it to be a nine out of ten season. Go check out what he had to say about that. Oh, yeah. Real quick, Adam, give us your thoughts on Ted season two.

SPEAKER_02 2:37

Oh, dude, it's just more fun, it's just way more funnier. Like, and plus, I think they they got the they got a better hang of the characters they that they're writing for. So, like a lot of the characters are now all funny, like you know, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:50

Unfortunately, that's probably the final season.

SPEAKER_02 2:53

Yeah, yeah. It's just it's not even because it did well, it did bad. It everyone loved this show, it got a lot of good praises. It's just that it's too expensive to freaking make.

SPEAKER_01 3:03

Oh well, that's that's unfortunate. Because I think you've of the two seasons, you've done nothing but praise the show whenever you've mentioned it to me.

SPEAKER_02 3:12

Yeah. Yeah, so the the funny thing is though, they are continuing the Ted franchise though. The movie or no, no, they're gonna do a Ted animated sequel series.

SPEAKER_01 3:26

Isn't animation like more expensive?

SPEAKER_02 3:30

Uh well that depends on what you're trying to do. Oh, okay. I think with like I think they're probably gonna give it like the Family Guy treatment, you know, low budget animation, you know, basic, you know. Family guy ain't low. Well, how much well lower lower ish, it's cheaper than an episode of of of Ted the show. Oh, I f I bet. I w I I totally bet. It's cheaper. Well, it's cheaper than that. Uh apparently it's gonna take place after Ted to the movie. It's about time.

SPEAKER_03 4:01

Yeah, so we're gonna get I'm googling how much it costs to make an episode of Family Guy. Oh by the way.

SPEAKER_01 4:14

Yeah. But yeah, make sure to go check out that review of his, my review of Project Hail Mary over on our Instagram at Revan and GoPod. And while you're at it, go check out our account over there on Letterboxd where you can find us under at Revan and Go. Make sure you go Oh my gosh, an episode of Family Guy costs approximately two dollars to produce per episode. Two million. Two million per episode.

SPEAKER_02 4:40

I think it was ten. I think it was ten for like five or six for uh uh Ted.

SPEAKER_01 4:46

Yeah, and a season of Family Guy is like what 20 episodes, 15 episodes. Crazy stuff is what I'm getting at. But make sure to go check out Adam's review of that over there because that I'm sure was a lot more fun for Adam to watch and review than what we're about to review. Adam, let's get into it. Let's get into Morbius. Um, right off the bat, Adam, I just want to pose the question to you. What did you think when you heard, like, hey, they're coming out with not a Spider-Man movie, they're doing a Spider-Man villain, and that villain movie that we're doing is Morbius. What were your like initial thoughts of the announcement and the trailer? Like, what did you give you?

SPEAKER_02 5:29

So here's the thing everyone praised like Venom, the first Venom movie, which was like, I have my I'm still have mixed feelings. Like, I like them, but I have mixed feelings about them because um here's the thing they're basically you have these characters that are all centered around Spider-Man, so now you're gonna take away that that center from them and try to make it their own movie of that. And I just it doesn't sound like it's a good idea, like no part of this sounds like it should work, and quite frankly, it kind of didn't.

SPEAKER_01 6:05

Honestly, only one of them worked, and that's the first Venom movie. And though I feel like the only reason they continue to do this is because that first venom movie made a a billion dollars.

SPEAKER_02 6:15

Yeah, and then listen, I I like Venom. I think it was a fun movie, it's not that good, like it's not like a well-made movie.

SPEAKER_01 6:24

Six to seven out of ten.

SPEAKER_02 6:26

Yeah, it's it's fun, but like honestly, it's not venom either. Like, from like here's the thing. If you like, and I and I'm not just saying like the comic books, and but like if you watch the comics or the TV shows or whatever, what like any other media, that's not venom. Like, he is like the farthest thing from the regular Venom that we, you know, you typically know of.

SPEAKER_01 6:49

On top of that, yeah, the original Venom movie was supposed to be rated R. And I remember when it was announced, it was supposed to be rated R, and they ended up changing it. Like, according to Tom Hardy, they they were like, they took out a bunch of my favorite stuff, which is the rated R stuff. But regardless, because of that movie's success, we ended up getting not just a whole franchise, three movies of Venom, but they were also like, let's try out other villains. And the first villain they tried out was Morbius, and they decided us like okay, Morbius, vampire, who should we cast? I'm pretty sure this guy wanted to be him in the first place, and that is Jared Leto. Now, the I don't let's get into the movie, Adam, okay? Let's get into it in the movie. Yeah, let's get into it. Let's just um right off the bat. I don't hate Jared Leto's performance in here. It it doesn't really feel like he's acting like, you know, Dr. Michael Morbius. It's like he's acting like Jared Leto.

SPEAKER_02 7:53

Yeah. Uh honestly though, I will say he's not his performance is not my least favorite thing in this movie.

SPEAKER_01 8:00

Oh no.

SPEAKER_02 8:01

It's like or it's it's honestly like the thing I could tolerate the most in this movie. If not by much, but you know, still that's something.

SPEAKER_01 8:12

I'll straight I'll say it straight up. My my least favorite characters in this movie are the are the detectives. Oh my god, yes! What like they feel like they're from a cartoon series. What the hell is with them? More specifically, um, Agent Rodriguez, played by Al Madrigal. Oh my he every single one of his lines is like very like either on the nose, like meta or like cringy.

SPEAKER_02 8:38

Yeah, I don't know what they were thinking with that with his character. Because another thing is I felt and I feel badly. They got the guy from Dex. I don't know if you watched Dexter.

SPEAKER_03 8:50

But I did not watch Dexter enough.

SPEAKER_02 8:52

So they basically just because it's clear to me that they saw like Dexter was a really popular show. I know. So I forgot. What's his um what's the name of the actors? Uh Dexter? Black Cop. Uh no, the because it's the same actor from Tyree. Yeah. So they got the same actor from Dexter, and it's clear that they just like, all right, just you know what she did for Dexter? Do that. Just do that. They probably and they gave him like almost, they probably gave him no direction besides that. You know? Yeah. Because he's literally just playing the same dude from Dexter, you know, the the straight cop that's super serious, you know.

SPEAKER_01 9:29

And while his it doesn't work with the other cop, though. Like, oh Tyrese. It feels like Tyrese is like, hey, I'm this is a serious superhero. Not superhero, but you know, comic book adaptation movie, and I'm gonna take it serious as a serious cop. And at the same time, this other cop is over here cracking jokes that aren't funny, poking almost like fun at the character that is Michael Morbius. Again, yeah, none of it's funny. No, it's not, and again, like there's parts of this, like I know I I I agree that uh Jared Leto's performance in this movie isn't like the worst thing amongst the movie itself, but there's the like the some of these line deliveries are just like I blink some of the writing too. Yeah, it's 100% the writing. But like there's some just like cringy, it's like bad deliveries too, and it's just like I'm a doctor. Like, I first off, you have it's like it's like what movie is it? You ever seen uh Steel starring Shaq? Yeah, and in that movie, Shaq is supposed to be this like if I get it wrong, I get it wrong, but he's like in the army or the marines or whatever. I'm pretty sure he's in the army. But the thing is, Shaq's like this seven-foot army dude, and he's next to like a regular five foot, six-foot uh general. It just looks off, like he Shaq cannot play a your typical Marine Army soldier because he's too damn tall. Jared Leto can't play a doctor, is what I'm trying to get at. He doesn't look the part like he just doesn't like a doctor would cut his hair, that's all I'm saying. Yeah. And then like, how do we get how does he get his powers? He's just like, oh, I mixed, fat DNA, and human DNA. And his uh who's the who's the actress that she's with? Um Adria Arjona. Uh I don't know, she plays um Martin.

SPEAKER_02 11:35

Generic love interest number generic love interest one. I don't know, because uh God, like there's really nothing to her but the BCB, like the love interest, you know.

SPEAKER_01 11:46

Yeah, and then her line delivery of like you're the first person, like you're mixing together human DNA.

SPEAKER_02 11:54

She has like the worst acting in this, without a doubt. She is really phoning it in. Well, like, like you said, the script is just bad. Yeah, to be fair, she could just be like, you know what, this is bad. She knows it's bad, and probably just you know, I don't know how some people can take.

SPEAKER_01 12:10

I don't know how some of these people can take these lines very seriously, like that. Like, yeah, okay, mix I don't even on I know this is a comic book movie, but like I I don't see how bat DNA mixed with bat blood mixed with human blood, and you mix the DNA. I'd the math ain't mathing. Like, if anything, you just get like some weird disease. Yeah. And of course, you know, Michael Mortibius is a genius doctor, graduated whatever college at age 19, which honestly it doesn't sound crazy. Like if it's supposed to be like mad impressive, I'm like, he's probably like in tons of debt though. And then they try to make him this like this really cool, like not normal type of dude who's like he gets a Nobel Peace Prize and he blows it off. Like it's just a Nobel Peace Prize. I'm like, I I don't believe that you wouldn't think that's an honor. Yeah, yeah. And obviously he has his friend played by Matt Smith, who you know what's so weird? So he gets introduced to him as a as a child, and he just calls him Milo, and the kid's just like, Why that's not my name. He's like, Yeah, but like the person before you I called Milo, the person who is here before him, I called Milo, and the and so on. So basically, he just calls everybody who sleeps in the bed next to him because they're all that just they're all sick, right? That there's something um he calls all of them Milo. They're adults now. Like that's a funny joke as a kid, but at some point I'm just like, hey, call me by my name. But Milo never bothers to like okay, hey, we're like we're like 40 something now. You can call my call me by my name. And what's crazy is that he's credited as Milo when that's not his name. That's funny. I whatever. I I don't I I don't I don't mind, but yeah, he gets his powers. Oh, and this oh my god. I was this movie is uh what is it? It's like an hour 44 long, right? And I'm just like okay, let's just kind of let's just kind of like get to it, right? Gets his powers, and obviously, with most people who get superpowers, you gotta learn how to control them, right?

SPEAKER_02 14:31

Yeah, I think this is one of the more fun scenes.

SPEAKER_01 14:34

It is fun, but he's I don't I don't doubt that, but in the span of three seconds, he goes, I now have echolocation and all these other powers. I now need to learn how to control them. Like, how do I control them? Two seconds later, controls them right away. Like, I get you're a doctor, I get you're a genius, but you can't pose the question, like because he's recording these tapes, right? As I guess doctors and geniuses do record their work. He's like, I don't know how to control them yet. Two, I'm not even kidding, guys. Two seconds later, he gets it. Just can control. I'm like, don't pose the question when you have like you just did. Oh, I was annoyed. That annoyed me. I ain't gonna lie.

SPEAKER_02 15:23

So, okay, my problem, my main problem was the the echolocation thing. Oh, so you know that yeah, yeah. So I had a problem with this what the movie like missed, like I don't know, like the mist that constantly surrounded that apparently shows it. Like, at first I thought this was just like a visual thing, you know, like this is how he's seeing it, or like this is not what's actually happening, but apparently it's on camera and they can't see it. I'm like, so what are they emitting this like weird ass oral thing? Yeah, yeah, it's weird because like here's the thing you see it on camera, so that means it's actually he's actually like just they just look like that, and I'm just thinking, why? Why couldn't like why is this like an actual thing? It makes no sense.

SPEAKER_01 16:10

Oh my god. And like to to go back to like for the echolocation thing, like, how can we show he has echolocation? How can we show that he's learning it or whatever? He closes his eyes and he has this ball in his hand and he chugs it against the wall, and you can hear the wall just start bouncing off many walls. You hear it hit the wall, bounce, bounce, bounce, it's just bouncing, and then it ends up in his hand. I'm just like, I don't I totally get it if he threw it and then he ran to it and caught it with his eyes closed. Because how would he know it was there besides echolocation? Yeah, but he was able to throw this ball so perfect that it hit each wall, each spot so perfectly that it bounced right back to his hand. That's a that's a boomerang. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:58

Oh my god, and then and then again, we get these dumb cops, dude. These detectives. Oh, the cops.

SPEAKER_01 17:07

The cops are the worst thing. And it's not even Tyrese, it's it's it's the other guy. Yeah, detective what? Detective Agent Rodriguez. Agent Rodriguez, that's his name. My goodness. I don't and then like Morbius, Dr. Michael Morbius, gets arrested. And they suspect him of being a vampire, basically. They're like, he has a lot of blood. And they some for some reason they let Milo in here. They don't. I'm assuming if you're going into a uh, let's say you're gonna go visit somebody, Adam, right? And that person is a murderer. Regardless of who you are, they're gonna pat you down and make sure you don't have anything. Yeah, Milo somehow sneaks in a like, I don't know what those little baggy things are, but a little bag of blood for Milo. For for Morbus. Oh my gosh. And then the love interest is just like instead of calling it blood, because it's blood, right? They're drinking blood because that's what they crave. Because apparently, this species of bats are known to, or maybe he just said bats in general, are the only species to, you know, only want blood. I'm just like, that's not true, but alright. Okay, right? Adam, it's just blood, right? Everybody knows what blood is. You don't have to censor the word. She tries creating like this weird new like name for blood instead of calling it blood. And she, you know what the name is? She calls it red. She's like, when's the last time you had any red? Why red? Like, I get blood's red, but just call it blood.

SPEAKER_02 18:44

Like, because apparent because apparently uh blood doesn't sound emo enough.

SPEAKER_00 18:50

Night will be the night that I will fall for you. Oh live.

SPEAKER_02 18:54

I mean it's Jared Letter, but I'm not surprised. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 18:58

Oh, and I maybe maybe red is like only specifying human blood. Like, once the last time he had human blood. Which is probably the case, but still, just call it blood. Like, if you were if you Adam, if you were a vampire, or if you were whatever Morbius is, and I knew that you needed human blood, I wouldn't be like, hey Adam, when's the last time you had human blood? No, because if I said once the last time you had blood, I'm just associating it with human in general. Gosh, it's so so I can't eat it. So to like not even though Morbius has already killed like a bunch of people, he's like, I can't suck the blood anymore, so I'm gonna do like um what do you call it? Not real blood, basically fake blood. Yeah, artificial blood. There it is, that's the word. Artificial blood, so I don't have to kill people anymore. Like, okay, you already killed a bunch of people, but yeah, you know what? That's a step in the right direction. That's why he's the hero. Milo, on the other hand, took whatever made Michael uh a vampire, and and now he's the evil one. Now he's the evil one, and he's actually drinking real blood, which is making him stronger than Morbius because Morbius is drinking alternative artificial blood.

SPEAKER_02 20:25

Drinking that soy blood, man. Oh that probably tastes horrible. Oh, you know, you know what? I don't I I really this reminds me so much of the plot. Because, like, you don't did you get the feeling they kind of just ripped this plot off from Amazing Spider-Man 2? Like, it feels a lot like with Harry and Peter's thing, where like Peter's all like, I you have the cure for me, or like Harry's all like you have the it feels a little like so. Here's another thing, and I my problem is still the same for that one. It's like, why not? Like, why not? You say he has the artificial blood. It's like, all right, he's like, hey, dude, look, I'm gonna give you the blood. I could give you the cure, but you gotta drink this. We're gonna drink this artificial blood so we don't hurt people.

SPEAKER_01 21:09

It's like you can't, Adam, because we don't have then we don't have a movie. Come on. Uh how else are we gonna get a really not that great fight scene at the end, Adam? My and and and you know what it in order Morbius is like dead set on not drinking human blood, but the love interest, who is seemingly about to die, is just like, just drink my blood, just do it. And so he does, and now he's like, Oh shit, I'm cracked. Let's go. He's at full he's fully juiced now, and they fight, and it's like uh I mean it's a fight, right? It's like Oh, here's them looking like they're moving fast, and then we'll cut to a slow motion shot. Moving fast, slow motion shot. I'm just like, okay, get on with it. And how does he win? Oh my gosh. For some insane reason, the bats chose Morbius. This swarm of bats come out, and they're just like, we're going with him.

SPEAKER_02 22:23

Mr. Morbius, I'm I am with uh Wayne Enterprise, and we are here to serve you a lawsuit from the Batman. Oh my god. Batman would like to have a word, man. Batman would like a word with you, Mr. Morbius. Or Dr. Morbius. Whatever.

SPEAKER_01 22:39

I and he and then he ends up killing his friend. Oh, but whatever. Plot twist, the girlfriend lives. They pull a freaking, they pull a freaking Twilight. What's the fifth one called?

SPEAKER_02 22:54

Dude, did this ending just feels forced as hell? It just ends. It's just like it just literally like ends after beginning a sequel. Yeah, they're really. Oh, and we'll get to that post-credit scene. Oh my god. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 23:10

You know what? Not even we'll get to it. Let's talk about it now. Okay, so the girlfriend lives, movie ends. Okay. Yeah. Whatever. Post-credit scene, because of course it's a it's a Marvel movie, guys. It's a and what's and what is it? It's Michael Morbius driving out in the desert. He pulls over, and something from the sky is flying and lands next to him and is here to talk to him. And who is it? Who is it, Adam?

SPEAKER_02 23:35

It's motherfucking Michael Keaton, an actual good villain character from a Spider-Man movie. And uh he is there to just randomly team up. Like, we're gonna do a cross. He might as well see. And by the way, that that scene, oh my god, I've never seen my mind, Adam. That that is like one of the worst things I've ever seen. That it loops around to being just hilariously so let's go back.

SPEAKER_01 24:02

This is obviously from like the aftermath of what happened in in Spider-Man No Way Home. So No Way Home, we're we're we you Adam, you and I will eventually talk about Spider-Man No Way Home on this podcast, but for now, because you know we need to give this some context. A Spider-Man Tom Holland villain from Homecoming is now in a different universe. Let's get into what happened at the end of this No Way Home. Peter Parker needed Doctor Strange to do a spell for everybody to forget who he was, because all the villains of that that new Peter Parker's identity, Spider-Man's identity, are now coming into his universe. So he does the spell. So now everybody forgets who Peter Parker is, forgets that Peter Parker is Spider-Man. I'm assuming in just their universe, right? Okay, that's a simple spell. The spell wasn't let me send one of our people over to another universe.

SPEAKER_02 25:01

Yeah, that makes sense. Uh but oh, but that dude, that acting though, that like weird dub over for like my Michael Keaton dubbing dub over.

SPEAKER_00 25:13

Yeah, because they show his face.

SPEAKER_02 25:14

And then like then Morbius just doesn't react like a normal being. He goes, Oh, okay, yes.

SPEAKER_01 25:21

What does Vulture say? Let's go over what Vulture says. He got Vulture shows up, and again, Vulture and Morbius have never met. This is their first time meeting. And he goes, Hi, I'm Mike, Dr. Michael Morbius. And he goes, Hi. Um, I'm not from here, um, but and I don't know what I'm doing here, but I feel like Spider-Man has something to do with it. I say we should team up. And Morbius says, intriguing. And the movie ends.

SPEAKER_02 25:55

Yo, what the fuck was that? But he just says like the most generic BS, and like he doesn't even really react to this like flying demon guy, like flying mechanical wings guy, and he just goes, huh, okay, sure, whatever.

SPEAKER_01 26:13

That's not even like that, that's bad, right? But the the the what's his name? Adrian Tombs, Michael Keaton. Yeah, from so we're assuming this is from Tom Holland's universe, or at least a universe where you know he's Tom Holland's in that Spider-Man, whatever. Um, that Michael Keaton that got dragged over. I think they even show it here that hey, this person doesn't belong in our prison. We have no records of him. Yeah, so they let him out, and that's how he gets out of the prison, right? The thing is though, he doesn't have a suit. Like he didn't have his suit with him. So we're just assuming he made the suit. Mind you, in Spider-Man Homecoming, he got his suit from like um stealing shit from Stark. Yeah, they got it from just Chitari uh technology and made it.

SPEAKER_02 27:04

Yeah, yeah, they've been stealing from like the Avengers too. Like they were just like stealing crap from like whatever battle or whatever like theta happened left, like they'll just be there to like slowly pick it off, essentially.

SPEAKER_01 27:15

And and we're in a universe now in the Morbius universe where the Avengers aren't a thing, where the events of any superhero that ever happened in the MCU never happened.

SPEAKER_02 27:29

And to add to that point, here's the thing he wasn't even the builder of the thing, he had that guy that Tinkerer. Remember, he was the engineer of the whole thing. Yeah, he's the one who made all this stuff, I think.

SPEAKER_01 27:39

Again, remember he no Avengers, no the first Avengers movie technically never happens in this Morbius universe. Therefore, they never get attacked by the Chitari, therefore, there's no Chitari technology left over for them to steal. Therefore, how do they make the suit?

SPEAKER_02 27:59

I don't know. Because it makes no sense, it makes absolutely no sense.

SPEAKER_01 28:04

They were Adam, you know they were they were shooting for uh all our villains versus a Spider-Man movie. I'm pretty positive that's where they were going. They were going for like a Sinister Six type of thing.

SPEAKER_02 28:14

Yeah. But like, what were they gonna do with the Sinister Six?

SPEAKER_01 28:17

Like, were they gonna be like the they would I think they would have then introduced the Spider-Man because oh we even mention it, Adam, that the trailer for this movie for Morbius, there's a scene that isn't in the movie, they cut it out entirely. There's a scene where Morbius is running across and like there's a wall, there's a wall next to him, and there's a there's a spray painting where there's graffiti of a Spider-Man.

SPEAKER_02 28:44

So so here's the thing, but here's the these guys have been built up as heroes. So what so what are they gonna do? So Spider-Man the bad guy in this universe? What the hell is that? What are they gonna do?

SPEAKER_01 28:54

Oh yeah, if I'm not mistaken, let me see if I can find it real quick. In the in the trailer, again, they show a Spider-Man, and I think over the Spider-Man graffiti art, there's a word on top of him that's like says like criminal or something like that. Uh Spider-Man in Norbius trailer like and yeah, it's oh oh it so for starters it look the Spider-Man that's in the trailer looks like Toby Maguire's Spider-Man, and on top of it it says murderer. What do we get from that? I don't know. Also, I somebody found like the picture they took. This is like yeah, but again, this is a spider there's a Spider-Man painting of Toby Spider-Man. It's specifically his. There's no like, oh, it could be Andrew's. No, this is Toby Spider-Man and it has murderer spray painted across it. So obviously, there's like a whole ass movie to give context to that scene in the trailer, but the whole thing is cut.

SPEAKER_03 30:04

Yeah. Oh my god, that move I didn't expect this movie to go.

SPEAKER_01 30:11

Um you did it? I did. Because I watching it, I was just like, okay, yeah, this is this is the movie, and then talking about it just got me heated again. Um yeah, that's Morbius. Um as much as it really sounds like me and Adam don't like this movie, and we don't, it is still the best of the three that we're gonna review tonight.

SPEAKER_02 30:33

Yeah, don't don't get twisted. We we still don't like this movie.

SPEAKER_01 30:37

The only you know what, Adam? Let's let's let's pr let's let's compliment this movie. What is one thing you can say you liked about this movie?

SPEAKER_02 30:48

Uh J Loda's performance wasn't too bad.

SPEAKER_01 30:53

That's something. That's something. Um I liked his flight scene when he first starts flying.

SPEAKER_02 31:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:01

I like that. Um, but yeah, um, with all that said though, Adam, what would you give Morbius on a scale from one to ten? Six. I think you're too generous. I had to give this a five. I had to give this a five.

SPEAKER_02 31:15

Oh my goodness. It wasn't that bad. It's just that third act was just really awful.

SPEAKER_01 31:20

I think a good chunk of this was awful, honestly. But like, I get it's again, it's awful, but it's weird. It's it's awful, but I can it's a movie I I would be able to rewatch. Entertaining in that aspect. I wouldn't want to, but like if someone was like, we're gonna watch Morbius because it's on. Okay. Oh, if if they mentioned the next movie we're gonna talk about, I would, I would, I would leave. Um, before we get into the next movie though, uh IMDB has this at uh 5.1 out of 10. Letterboxd is sitting at a 1.6, and Rotten Tomatoes has it at uh 15%. Yeah. Which is uh entirely fair.

unknown 32:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:03

It's so funny. Um, we're reviewing this uh uh everybody's listening to this on April 6th. This movie came out on April 1st. How funny is that?

SPEAKER_02 32:13

Uh oh yeah, the first and by the way, this was the the this movie is the rare achievement of being uh box office bomb twice. Remember that morbid time. That stupid meme. I love how the producers were like, oh wait, people are talking about it. Let's give it another shot, let's re-release it. And like they do it, and there's still no one watched it. I guess they didn't realize they were being made fun of.

SPEAKER_01 32:39

Yep. Yep. Um, so yeah, that was Morbius. Before we get into the next movie, I gotta remind you guys to follow us over on Instagram. We're well on our way towards 300 followers, so follow us over there for a bunch of fun posts, rankings, and my and Adam's quick movie reviews at Revengold Pod. Make sure you follow us over there. And now, Adam, we gotta get into this next movie. If y'all thought we got heated for this one, wait till we get into this one. And that is Madam Webb. Okay, Adam, let's get into the the the utter garbage that is Madam Webb. Oh man, before we get into the movie review, again, I'll pose the question: what came to your mind when you're like when they were like, hey, you guys know how you guys said the Morbius movie was bad and you guys don't really like Venom 2? Here's Madam Webb. Uh why?

SPEAKER_02 33:41

Like Madame Webb, why? Like, even for like Spider-Man like lore, she is obscure and like it doesn't even make sense to add her in any capacity. Because she's like this like interdimensional like spider person that just walks like she's literally supposed to be like like uh the multiverse queen of spider people, basically. She's like you know like it why is she now just some ambulance driver that why is she this ambulance driver? I don't know. I don't she's supposed to be like this almost like other like worldly being for god's sakes.

SPEAKER_01 34:21

Yeah, I don't I don't know. I think the funniest thing about this before the movie came out was Madam Web Madam Webb played by Dakota Johnson. Oh first off, I just want to say this. I'm pretty fond of Dakota Johnson, that's all I'll say. Um she in an interview leading into this movie said, Oh yeah, we're doing something um pretty great, uh, a really grounded, you know, movie. And I'm like, grounded? This is Madame Webb. There's there is no way this can be grounded. Do you have any idea what your character is like about?

SPEAKER_02 35:07

So, yes, I watched those interviews too. It's clear to me that she just does not care about this movie. Oh, it knew it was you could tell during the movie. She, yeah, she did not care about this movie, she does not, she couldn't care less about this franchise, and uh she can't like even like in those interviews, you could tell, like she was like, I don't know what I'm doing, man. Just I'm just curious for the paycheck, man. And honestly, that's fair.

SPEAKER_01 35:39

That's fair. I mean, it sucks that that that you cast a person who doesn't seem to really want to be there, but I think they cast her because she's a she's a big name, she really is, and on top of that, they also did cast Sydney Sweeney in this movie. Pretty big name. They cast Adam Scott, who I love. Oh, yeah, he is in this movie. Love Adam Scott in here as Ben Parker of all people, yo, yes, please. Um funny enough, Mike Epps is in this movie. Oh right. Yeah, but you know, I'm like, okay, and I'm not gonna lie, based off the trailers, even though I know that like I don't like the fact that we're getting these movies, we're gonna get to see a bunch of spider people. We're gonna get to see three new spider women, Anya, Anya Corazon, Maddie Franklin, Julia Cornwall, played by Isabella Merced, Celeste O'Connor, Sidney Sweeney, and Dakota Johnson as Cassandra Webb, aka Madame Webb, right? Okay, cool. And the villain is like an evil Spider-Man or something based off the suit that we see in the trailer. If this thing is anything like Um Venom, where we just get moderately fun action or whatever, we like we didn't like Morbius, but you know, it's not the worst of the three, it's the most enjoyable to watch of the three, which is still not great. But okay, if we get something like that. And in the trailer, we see the all our the three Spider-Women in their suits, and right away, the suits look horrible. We're not even talking about the movie yet. The suits in the trailer look off garbage. We're talking the CW does better suits. Yeah, it was terrible. All right, give me flashes, but I do also want to um justify or say that um the CW doesn't do bad suits. I just want to say their CW suits are pretty great, but like they're working off a much lesser budget than this movie had, and you know, their suits are amazing. These suits sucked. Again, we're not even talking about the movie yet, but the m the suits sucked. And you know what? I don't even want to go down how this movie goes down. We could just get into it, Adam. The the the scenes uh oh my god, again, I feel like a driving point of this movie was hey, look at the spider women, look at the people we have cast as them, and they're in the suits in the movie for like 30 seconds.

SPEAKER_00 38:21

That's it, folks. That's all you get, no refunds.

SPEAKER_01 38:27

30 seconds, it's in the very beginning of the movie because our villain is having these like weird um visions in his sleep where he's like constantly dreaming of these three spider women coming in and killing him. We see that at the very beginning of the movie. Again, it's like 15 seconds long, and then we see it at the end of the movie where they're all together and they like save somebody or something like that, and again, it's like 15 seconds long.

SPEAKER_02 38:56

Yeah, yeah, that's it. That's all you're getting. That's all you're getting of these spider women who've never been. This is their first on-screen appearance of these spider-women, by the way. Uh, you wanted more? Well, too bad you don't get more. Uh can I honestly say something? So, watching all three of these movies, like to get like back to back, it really feels like they just sort of bleed together that they're like they almost feel the same. Because the movie starts off, what was it? Like, where she's like in like the rainforest doing some that's her mom. That's her mom, or her mom, but yeah, but you know what I mean. Like, we start off with some jungle crap, and then like, oh, this animal blah blah blah could do this, blah blah blah, makeup BS here, and then like we could add this to the human stuff, and then like it's just it's you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 39:47

It it all seems to be I I totally get what you're saying, because we'll we'll get into it. Uh we'll mention it briefly now, but we'll get into it when we talk about Craven the Hunter. Morbius, how does it open up? Hey, I'm sick, I'm dying, but I figured out that I can mix these fat DNA things. Boom, I got powers. Madam Webb, her mom goes looking for a spider um that can help her because her mom is sick, um, right? So obviously something's wrong with her, and she's pregnant. First off, she's clearly not in the States, right? They're in some I think they're in Mexico, honestly. I'm pretty positive that's where they said they were in South America, I think. They're in South America or South America. Um, if you get that reference, awesome. If you don't, sorry guys, um, right? And she's she's like nine months pregnant. I'm pretty positive she didn't fly, but like you're nine months pregnant because she gives birth two minutes later. She gets like stabbed by the villain because she finds a spider she was looking for, and the villain whose name is Ezekiel. Oh, we're gonna oh, I'm gonna get into Ezekiel in a second. I really am. And Ezekiel steals the spider from her because he's like, I'd never found anything by myself, and here you are, with all this help, and you find something. No, oh, I think he shoots her, whatever. Something and and then he runs off, and then these like forest spider people come from the sky and they take her to their spider nest where they lay her in water, and they're like, Oh, even though you're like you're pregnant and you're dying right now because you got shot, we're gonna take our time by grabbing the spider, letting the audience see how beautiful spiders can be and how it's not biting me. I'm gonna place it on you and it's gonna bite you. You're still gonna die, but your daughter won't. And right then and there she gives birth, and she's like, Oh, your daughter, by the way, will come back. Then the mom dies. They just sent the baby off to the states.

SPEAKER_02 41:55

What? What? There's a lot of they they yada yada, a lot of bullshit right there. Like, and you re like you you like there's a limit to how much I can suspend my disbelief, man.

SPEAKER_01 42:08

That is true. Yes, there's a limit.

SPEAKER_02 42:10

There's a limit, and they if they have exceeded it and then wiped their ass with it.

SPEAKER_01 42:16

Um yes. Um, I want to talk about our villain. I want to talk about our villain. Um, played his name is Ezekiel Sims, played by Tahar Rahim. And so, okay, so he's our villain, right? And right away, our villain doesn't seem to have like the facial acting capabilities, the that prowess. He doesn't have it, seemingly right off the bat, right? And then the the there's a scene at the very beginning of the movie where he's with the woman and he's speaking. And I'm not gonna lie, right away I'm like, that was a little weird. I wonder why that was. Whatever. Movie goes on. Come back to him. He's speaking, but they don't show his face, it's from the back of his head. I'm like, that's weird, and then they show his face and he's speaking. I'm like, why does it like, oh my gosh? And it wasn't until like about halfway through the movie where I realized every single one of his lines is ADR, is ADR. Every single one, yeah. Every they why it was so bad that they even had to like, if they reshot it, they had to reshoot it from the back because for some insane reason, either his delivery in the middle of the of them shooting wasn't good, or they didn't like his voice, or he didn't know his lines. I don't know what it is, but every single line is ADR.

SPEAKER_02 43:40

It's it's so jarring sometimes, too. Like where it there's just moments where it's really bad, and it's just like, what the hell is it doesn't sound it sounds it feels like you're watching one of those like old like kung fu movies, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 43:52

It's funny you say that. My dad was watching um IP Man 2 today, and you know, ADR.

SPEAKER_02 43:57

Yeah, like those, yeah, those, yeah, well, like, because but. Like you forgive those because you know they're speaking, it's just them dubbing over another language you understand, you're right. It's just them dubbing over English with English. English. I know, I know, like you know, like you understand, right? But like this was just like what's all adr.

SPEAKER_01 44:17

All his lines are adr, and the dude can't even like like hit. I guess I already said his face can't act, his body can't really act, and he's stupid. This dude's had these powers for like ever, and he's now because for some insane reason, he has the god's eye in which he can track all these. Um, because he's he's looking for the three girls that he's having a vision about, and then by just coincidence, all three girls who don't know each other are in the same spot at the same time, and now he's like, Okay, now I can. How the hell do you have God's eye and have been looking for them for years? How? I don't think that's possible, and now all of a sudden they're together, and it and he can't even kill them. Why? Because they're protected by a Dakota Johnson who doesn't even realize she has power, she's just like, Hey, what am I why do I feel like I've been here before? I think we should do this.

SPEAKER_02 45:16

Yo, conversation I do, folks. It's awful. Uh, it's like groundhog, it's like a really stupid groundhogs day.

SPEAKER_01 45:25

And mind you, they don't even it's like as the audience, we know that she has something, she has like a power. We're talking about Madame Webb here. Yeah, we know she has something, but herself, Cassandra Webb, I'm not gonna call her Madame Webb yet. We'll we'll wait. Cassandra, that's what I'm calling her, doesn't know. She's just like, I don't know what it is. I just feel like I gotta do this. And she essentially kidnapped these girls, and these girls just being kidnapped, they don't give a fuck. They just roll with it, like, oh my gosh, you just kidnapped us. You know what? Gotta keep the plot going. Let's keep going. And mind you, Dakota knows that she has to keep them safe, right? So, what does she do? What did she do? She leaves them in the woods. Did she do this?

SPEAKER_00 46:12

Does she do this twice?

SPEAKER_02 46:13

Yeah, twice. Yes, just like, oh uh like you know they're in danger. You're just like, leave them in the woods, leave teenagers in the woods, because they're just gonna stay there. Like, like, what in God's name did you think was gonna happen, you idiot?

SPEAKER_00 46:29

Oh, and you know what's even dumber? They immediately leave.

SPEAKER_01 46:33

Immediately, they immediately leave the kids, even hey guys, this dude came to kill you guys. Stay here in the woods, fucking stupid, and and yeah, and then she just like I'll be back. I gotta go figure something out. I was like, that was your plan? That was your plan. Oh my gosh, and it gets even dumber, it gets even dumber. So these these teens, because they're hungry, they end up at a diner. And and it's so weird because Sydney Sweeney, we know her from movies right now, she's very they use her, you know, they they use her to advertise a bunch of things, you know, for the for two big reasons. I think we all know, right? I'm not judging her for that. As a matter of fact, she loves it. She it's her idea to do this stuff. Okay, she knows what to do. But in this movie, they cast her as the shy girl. Oh my god. And not only do they teach uh cast her as a shy girl, that's not really a problem. Okay, get out your comfort zone. You're let's see your range, right? Again, these are teenagers, these are teenagers, these three girls are teenagers. I can't I want to reiterate that again. They're teenagers, they're in the diner, and they're oh my gosh. Dakota Johnson has like this vision. She's like, Oh, I gotta get back to this diner over there where they're at, because these girls don't listen. They she goes to the diner, and what the fuck are they doing?

SPEAKER_00 47:53

Oh my god, they're on the table dancing for a bunch of guys.

SPEAKER_02 48:01

Yep. Did she write this movie? Because this feels like this, like something she'd write. Because what is this?

SPEAKER_01 48:09

Like this oh, this is this is oh my this is straight up like Riverdale type of stuff. Yeah, it's from the show. I'm pretty sure it's different from the books.

SPEAKER_02 48:19

She really does feel like some some CW like like like Dawson's Creed look like freaking thing. You know what I mean? Like it really it's insane.

SPEAKER_01 48:30

How you guys are like about to be murdered. There's someone out looking for you, and you're gonna make uh uh you're gonna call you're gonna start a ruckus, right? There's you're dancing on this. Is oh my god, you guys are teenagers dancing for boys, and these guys are just like, yeah, and mind you, no surprise, Sydney Sweeney has a skirt. I'm like, these guys are just looking up there, like what the fuck? The the owners of the diner aren't like, hey, let's call the cops, hey, get down. They're just letting them go there, huh? And then, of course, to no surprise, the villain Ezekiel, who is Spider-Man without any web, lame, is there, finds them, and can't even kill them.

SPEAKER_00 49:12

Because plot.

SPEAKER_03 49:14

Because plot.

SPEAKER_02 49:16

Because incompetent villain is incompetent.

SPEAKER_01 49:21

Oh, this villain sucks. I can't reiterate how much this villain sucks. This movie, I don't know how, is uh 12 minutes longer than Morbius, and it feels like it's two hours longer. I can't oh my god. You know what the tag I'm jumping around, but you know what the tagline for this movie is? What is it? Her web connects them all. Oh, good. Oh this movie is like I said, it's an hour 56. Hour 56. Remind okay, remember that number, guys, hour 56, because I'm about to come back to it. Because this movie, 90 minutes, 90 minutes into this movie, and Dakota Johnson finally decides to go back to where her mom died in the lake, and it's 90 minutes into this movie where she's finally like, Oh, so I have powers, huh?

SPEAKER_03 50:18

You 90 minutes out of it.

SPEAKER_02 50:23

Oh, it's just so like it drags on, and like everyone's just written to be idiots. Like it feels there's like a bit that I will I recently watched where it's like he this guy gets teleported to a world where everyone's like IQ is like five and stuff, like and he's automatically the smartest person in the world. Like, that's what it feels like. I feel like everyone in this world is just an idiot, and it's just like it makes you it's making me feel stupid, and it's making me but it feels like it's dragging me down with it, you know. I feel like I'm losing brain cells by how dumb some of these plots are.

SPEAKER_01 51:00

And like we kind of glossed that in the beginning, but like Dakota Johnson's performance in this movie is just not there. It's very one note, it's just hey guys, no, I will protect them.

SPEAKER_00 51:14

I will protect you, guys. Let's go.

SPEAKER_01 51:19

Take this. Oh my gosh. This I again, I have it multiple times in my notes. This villain sucks. And then randomly, after she's like, you know what? Maybe leaving you guys in the woods wasn't a good idea. You guys didn't listen. You guys almost died, but I saved you. Let's go into a hotel. Yeah, a hotel. Okay, you should have just done that in the beginning. She decides to teach him C PR for some reason. Why? Oh, because I I'm actually an EMT. I that's that will obviously come back in the end of the movie. Yep. Because that's not an obvious uh foreshadow. Oh my gosh. I I can't stand this movie. I really can't. Let's just Okay, let's just get this is jump to the end. Jump to the end. Because now we're at the end of the movie. And once again, because this happens like four times in this movie, where the villain finds them. The villain can't get to them.

SPEAKER_03 52:21

This villain sucks, Adam.

SPEAKER_01 52:25

You know, we've reviewed quite a few Marvel movies in our day here on the Revenue Go Reviews podcast. Um and every time, not even just Marvel, we're talking about superhero movies. And every time we do, we always talk about the villain because it's really good when they have a good villain. Sometimes you don't need to have a good villain, um, but like your villain can't suck, right? Um and we criticize it when the villains are very one note in any other superhero movie. Yeah. Like, for instance, for instance, for instance, Ant-Man, that villain. Yeah. Very one note, nothing interesting. It's a nothing villain. But the villain doesn't suck.

SPEAKER_03 53:13

Yeah. He's just like almost inside.

SPEAKER_02 53:18

He's just like kind of like there. He serves his purpose.

SPEAKER_01 53:21

I'll give you a worse one. The villain from Guardians of the Galaxy, the first movie. Very, very nothing is like barely in the movie.

SPEAKER_03 53:32

It doesn't suck. And he got beat by via uh a dance off to say that the universe.

SPEAKER_01 53:42

Doesn't suck. This villain is l actually might be, I think today. We should honestly, Adam, we should have gone and ranked every single villain we've done. Um, maybe we'll put that on the Instagram. Follow us on Instagram at RevengoPod. I think this villain might be the worst villain we've come across on the pod.

SPEAKER_02 54:01

Yeah. Oh yeah, it's easy because not only is he nothing, but he's just also just poorly written, poorly acted. Like he just fails across the whole board.

SPEAKER_03 54:13

He fails to even be a threat to the heroes.

SPEAKER_02 54:19

I I don't know how he goes out like a bitch, too. And I'm like, of course, this is how he goes out.

SPEAKER_01 54:27

You guys want to know how he dies? So, of course, they're like, let's go into a firework uh building, and there's fireworks going off like crazy, and it's so funny because he gets hit with the fire, he's about to jump on Dakota Johnson, he's about to get her, and a firework doesn't kill him, but takes him out so she can create space. And how oh my god, they get to the top of the building.

SPEAKER_02 54:50

You can see that was your goddamn douchebag.

SPEAKER_01 54:52

Oh my gosh, and then they get to the top of the building, and he's just like, or Dakota Johnson's like, You won't get to them because I will protect them, and they were never your vision. I was. I'm probably saying it better and delivering it better than she did, honestly. And he dies via what, like Pepsi sign? Oh, yeah, yeah. He gets crushed by a Pepsi sign, folks. He gets crushed by the not not even the whole sign. They're like, We're not even gonna give you the whole sign. You're gonna the letter P from the from our um from the ad that we had to input in the movie is gonna fall and crush you to death.

SPEAKER_00 55:32

And it's so funny.

SPEAKER_02 55:34

Yeah, that's right, folks.

SPEAKER_01 55:37

This this dude got hit by an ambulance mid-air, and it's one of those ambulances that look heavy, you know, you know which those box-shaped ones. Mid-air gets hit with it, gets back up, it's like, damn, it's on. The letter P falls on him, and he dies. What's funny is too, he's lying down, he's on the ground, and the P falls on him, and you'd assume it just like crushes him, but for some insane reason he's bleeding from his head. It didn't land on his head because his head was perfectly saved by the fact that there's a hole in the letter P. Oh my god. And oh we have that's not even the worst of it. That's not even the worst of it. We're getting it. Then Dakota Johnson falls into this like lake, this river, and she's like full, she's slowly floating in the water, she's falling down. Doesn't seem like she's gonna be able to get back up. Debris falling, she's watching fireworks go off in the air as she's under the water, and she's having like some visions, and she's looking up again, still falling. This goes on for a few seconds, guys. I okay, I don't get how fireworks work. I really don't, um, especially like these bigger ones, right? Every time I've thrown a firework in the water, it tends to just go out. Yeah, a firework. A firework shot up in the air, right? Fell and it didn't just like fizzle out, it shot into the water, and you'd think, oh, and then it went out. She's safe because she's in the water. No, it shoots through the water, hits her in the eyes. I can't tell you, Adam, how hard I was laughing in the movie. I saw this in move in the theater. Oh my word.

SPEAKER_02 57:32

You spent money on this.

SPEAKER_01 57:35

You know, I'm always willing to be proved wrong, and unfortunately, I wasn't.

SPEAKER_00 57:43

Oh man. And one of the one of the girls saves her.

SPEAKER_02 57:49

Go ahead. So tell me you at least went to the cheap our local theater, not to the big one.

SPEAKER_01 57:54

I did go to the cheaper theater, yes.

SPEAKER_02 57:57

I'm gonna say, okay, thank god. Thank god. Because you're spending over$30 for this. Um I think you demand for a refund. I think you could demand for a refund at this moment.

SPEAKER_01 58:05

I spent sixteen dollars, okay. I bought two tickets. But one of the girls goes in there to save her, takes her out, and they're like, Oh my gosh, she's not breathing.

SPEAKER_00 58:19

What can we do to save her?

SPEAKER_02 58:21

Oh wait, the CPR we conveniently learned before.

SPEAKER_01 58:27

And so they're like, chest compressions, as you're supposed to do. So you know what? They did that right. Chest compressions, chest compressions. They save her, she's in the hospital, and she's just like, Oh, the nurse asks them, Are you guys family? And Dakota Johnson, oh, by the way, she's blind now because the firework hit her in the eyes. She's blind now, and she's like, Are you um are these your family? And she goes, Yes, they are my children. Movie ends! Actually, no, the movie doesn't end. The movie doesn't end there because then we get a cut to them in their suits, posing in their terrible, terrible costumes, and the movie ends.

SPEAKER_03 59:19

What is this movie, Adam?

SPEAKER_02 59:21

It's garbage, it's what it is. That's what it is. It's garbage. It's awful. It's either really stupid or abhorrently boring.

SPEAKER_01 59:32

I got lightheaded. I got lightheaded.

SPEAKER_02 59:34

There is no in between. Like, this movie really is just like, oh look, here's this thing from the comic books. We're just gonna oh look, look, we're just gonna flash it in. Are we gonna adapt it right? And god no. Oh god no, we're not gonna do anything. We're just gonna be like, we're just gonna wave it in your face and expect you to be happy about it.

SPEAKER_03 59:56

This movie.

SPEAKER_01 59:58

I oh my word. I I I literally can't. I literally literally can't. Um I think the best thing Oh! I didn't even I didn't even ask Adam. With all that said, what would you give Madam Webb on a scale from one to ten? Give it a two.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:20

Giving it a two. I would also give it a two.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:26

This movie is is is it's only getting a two because Adam Scott's in it. I I said what I said.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:37

Oh yeah, wasn't she like wasn't she also there when uh Peter was born or something?

SPEAKER_01 1:00:42

I think that was supposed to be like a plot thing, but I'm I'm pretty sure they cut a bunch of stuff out. I think the same thing I think the same thing, I think Morbius might I don't want to say it suffers, but I think it they cut I think they probably cut out a whole lot of Spider-Man stuff too from Morbius. I think Morbius went through some reshoots. I might be wrong. But um, but yeah, this movie's getting two out of ten from me because Adam Scott's in it, and I recently just watched um Parks and Wreck, and I love him in that show.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:11

Yeah, I love Parks and Rec too.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:13

Hey guys, go watch Parks and Rec after you listen to this episode of the podcast.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:18

Yeah, go watch that. Don't watch this movie, go watch Parks and Rec.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:21

Yeah, but um IMDB gave this movie it's at 4.1 out of 10. Uh Letterboxd, it's at a 1.5 out of 10. Out of 5, my bad. And Rotten Tomatoes, it's sitting at a 10%. Just out of curiosity, let's see what the what the other score is. 10% tomato meter, and the popcorn meter, which is typically the audience's thoughts on it, is uh sitting at a 53. And just because I want to know what Morbius got 15% again. Oh my gosh, Morbius is sitting at a 15%, and its popcorn meter, which is the audience score, is sitting at a 71.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:02

I think that has to be like a meme or something, you know, it's just you know you're right. Because like that's it's probably just you know the audience memeing about this thing. It's the same with uh like, you know, that's why I got our second release because the memes of of Morbin, of Morbin time.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:22

Oh my word. Um, before we get into the final movie, guys, make sure to follow us over on Letterboxed for our reviews over there at Revitgo. I will be uploading a bunch of our reviews that we've done previously on there to rack up how many movies we have over there. But go check out our Letterboxd account as well as our Instagram at Revitgo Odd. Guys, check that out. Okay, Adam, let's do it. Let's talk about the final movie in this episode, and it's the longest movie in there, but I'm telling you right now, we won't be talking about it for as long as we did the other two, and that is Craven the Hunter. So, once again, Adam, I'll pose the question to you. You hear that Sony is doing another Spider-Man villain movie without Spider-Man, and it's Craven the Hunter. Yeah, and you also find out that the movie's actually gonna be rated R. What were your thoughts?

SPEAKER_03 1:03:23

It's too late.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:25

It's too late after Madame Webb, after all the bull that Sony's put us through, you just have no faith in it at this point. Even if it like and like and why? And there's no point. Why Kraven? What is Kraven gonna hunt if he doesn't have Spider-Man? You're just gonna they're just gonna make up BS for it, they which they clearly show they can't do. And I don't know, man. I just like I was so done with these movies that I didn't even want to like, I didn't even give it a shot, honestly. I w it took me a lot. The only reason I watched Kraven in the first place was because it just happened to be on when I was sitting down, and my my I think my mother was watching it.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:11

And blame her Aaron Taylor Johnson. Again, I think this movie um they do the same thing. They're like, okay, um, big name actor. Let's get Aaron Taylor Johnson, which is a huge name, and dude got shredded. He was already shredded, but he got even like even more shredded. Um, and they got Russell Crowe in this.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:35

Oh god, I forgot he was in this.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:37

You know, maybe it's on me that I don't know most of these actors, too, but like but still, I know those two. Those are the biggest things in here, and I'm gonna be completely honest. I so we've talked about the best of these three movies, and that is Smart Beast. We talked about the worst, and that was Madame Webb. This one's sitting in the middle. Um, but it's not like it earned the middle spot, it's just like there by default because this movie is honestly a whole bucket of nothing.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:08

It is. It's more of the same crap. Like, granted, not done, it's like it's it's madam web, but like at least done better.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:19

Yeah, because I feel like the actor is actually better acting better acting, and I'd rather be there.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:26

Yeah, and it's like it's you know what I mean? It's like it's there. It's there.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:35

It's nothing spec it's nothing good. It's not there's no nothing good. Nothing good comes from this movie, but like it does no harm comes from it. It's like a s it's like a cyst, you know, like a cyst tumor. It's there, it's not really it's not really harming you, but we should probably still just like keep an eye on it. Keep an eye on it or remove it. We should probably still just

SPEAKER_01 1:06:00

No removing this Adam. It's in the zeitgeist of it all now. It's there. Oh my word. Alright, let's let's get into it. How does Craven the Hunter what is Craven? What makes him so special? Well, just like the other two movies we did, he randomly got some other animals, insects, blood in him, DNA in him, and now he's and he was on the brink of death because he got mauled by a lion. Some lion blood fell in him, and now he's craving the hunter. Yeah. You want you want to know my two notes for this movie? I watched this movie, like I said, is the longest of the three. This movie's two hours and seven minutes. Two hours. Imagine that. Imagine how much stuff we had to say about Morbius. Imagine how much stuff we had to say about Madam Webb. And those movies are both insanely shorter than this movie. And again, this is the longest one. And I have like very little to say about this movie. I have two notes. Here are my two notes, Adam. You ready for this? Yeah. Aaron Taylor Johnson is shredded. Powers by Lion Blood, lol.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:21

Yeah.

unknown 1:07:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:22

I mean, what else do you say?

SPEAKER_02 1:07:24

It's like it's stupid, but you know. It's not nothing like we haven't seen this before. It's not like the worst done. Like powers, I mean, at least what's her name? At least it makes like somewhat sense considering what we see with Rhino, but like still.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:44

Yeah. So the whole point of this movie is just like, okay, here's Craven. And he has a list. He gets he references this list a lot. And even like not the villains, but there's like villain-adjacent people are also like, hey, don't want to be on his list. Okay, but like, what's the purpose of the list? I'll tell you. Wait, I can't, because we don't get told. Um, also, there's this dude who is transforming into the rhino, and they have to give him cringy rhino things. He's like, Oh, just like the rhino, we charge when we don't. We dar we're docile until the rhino the rhino is with the horn, therefore, is waiting in the shadows. What? No, first off, rhinos don't wait, they're really aggressive when provoked. When provoked. So if you're provoked, which the rhino villain in this movie often is, he just sits there. Yeah. And then what's the rhino? Like, what makes him the rhino? Oh, he has a skin condition basically.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:54

Oh. Yeah, uh it's dumb. It's real dumb.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:02

I can't even say like what the real meat of the plot is. Oh, his brother gets kidnapped, and he goes on a weird run to try to get him, and he's like, either way, I gotta go get him. Uh you're on my list now.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:18

I can't say much about this movie. I really can't.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:22

Cause like he looks handsome in the movie. Aaron Taylor Johnson. You know, there's you know, there's that. Um like like what do you what even what even is it? Like what I don't even You know what, Adam? I think it'd be great if we went into the final fight.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:46

Because we get for some insane reason uh a stampede of yeah, what animals are those? Bison? They're not bison. I don't know what animals they are. I'm not a zoologist, I'm sorry. For some insane reason, now not only is Craven known to be a hunter, he also has a way with animals. He can control them, he's he can guide them to where he'll they'll do things for him.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:18

Yeah, yeah, it's dude, yeah. There's some dumb stuff in this movie still. I mean, it's still a Sony weird Sony uh movie uh villain movie that makes no sense to begin with.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:30

Like final fight though. So we get the rhino, who's a human, right? And then he lets this like he has this like chemical put in him so that way he kind of keeps the rhino gene at ease. So you know, but then he's like, you know what, I'm gonna let it loose. He lets it loose and he turns into a full rhino. He like triples in height. He I don't even know how to explain the suit or anything. He's not it's not a suit, like he tried, he completely transforms. And the fight is like, okay, I'm a rhino.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:10

I've got the horn. Yeah, it's really dumb.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:15

It's like because uh it it's it fe he feels kind of weirdly like like Bane, oh a comic book bane, a little bit, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:25

Why it's really dumb.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:38

Yeah, and then how does he kill him?

SPEAKER_01 1:11:39

He does oh, because he's not gonna be able to beat him just straight up, right? We can't, he's not gonna get to use his his hunting capabilities in order to figure out how to beat him, right? He's not hunting an animal, so what does he do? Oh, that's right. They gave him uh a way to beat him, like they did in Star Wars, spoiler the the Death Star, they gave him a way out. How? Because the way he inserts this like medicine type thing in order to calm him down is literally a hole on his side. And they're like, huh, what if Kraven's like, what if we stabbed the hole? Hmm. Ugh. So he now granted, I can't do like you know, it's not gory or anything, but I can't do stuff like that. So I was like wincing at it, but like, hmm. I am not gonna use any of my hunting things that I've learned. None of that. I'm just gonna stab you in the clear spot to beat you.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:42

Uh it's like a Zelda villain, man. What the hell?

SPEAKER_01 1:12:46

Oh my and he's like, uh, oh my goodness. Oh, I guess that I know is actually going. He says something stupid like that. I don't know. And and then and then, yeah. Oh, and then plot to his brother's uh chameleon and uh whatever. Yeah, surprise, surprise, his brother's chameleon.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:09

Oh it's like I they really just yada yada the signs to all of this, man. And it's kind of uh we it's kind of annoying a bit.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:18

It should have just been an hour and a half long. Here's sure, give us his backstory, whatever, but it should just be like he's on the hunt, right? And then we find out the rhino's hunting him, and now he has to fight with at a disadvantage because he was hunted by the rhino, but then he loses. Whatever. Uh the rhino dies, whatever. Oh my gosh. How was how Madam Webb made me mad? How this one was a pain to watch. It was a slog. I'm gonna be honest. This one, this movie, Craven the Hunter, took me two days to watch. I had to pause it like halfway through.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:57

I was like, I can't. Genuinely tough. I and it it's it's tough because it's boring.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:07

It's so boring. It's like and I'm gonna be honest, it doesn't even really use its rated R rating to like its advantage. You're like, okay, you're rated R, but like, what do we see? You stab somebody with a tooth, and we get to see blood. Like, if you're gonna go rated R and you're a hunter, and you're like, you're gonna hunt people, go all out. Like, make that your thing.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:33

But it's like here's the here's this movie's biggest sin for me. Kraven doesn't really feel like a hunter. No, he feels like an eco-terrorist or something.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:43

Yeah, because all he does is like kill he like kills these people, but it's not like I didn't hunt them down. All I did was hunt them down, not kill them as if I was an animal. Yeah, it's like it's like this lion blood gave him animal powers. Like, oh, look at I can run on all fours.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:00

That defeats the purpose of Kraven, by the way, because Kraven is powerless in this, in like, you know, the whole point of him is that he's just this dedicated fanatic hunter, you know, like it's just his passion, like he wants something to hunt that gives him a challenge. That's why he hunts Spider-Man. It's because Spider-Man keep you know is the ultimate predator, the prey.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:20

He's like, he's like, he's not like Goku, but he's in that Goku of the sense of like Goku always wants to fight stronger people because he wants to be stronger. Kraven wants to hunt, he hunts down. He's like, Okay, that was easy. Give me something harder. Okay, I got that one. Give me something harder. He's always like that. And this isn't like that at all.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:37

No, not at all, not even remotely close. That's all these Sony movies, to be honest. None of these characters are like anything are like anything from the what you've known from them.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:53

It's because they take out the one thing that kind of like gives them in a depth, and like in a sense, depth. Like, okay, Venom, who's Venom without Spider-Man? Just really nothing. Like uh, yeah. What's Madame Webb without Spider-Man? Um They gave her three Spider Women, and it was still nothing.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:15

What's Craven without Spider-Man? Nothing, absolutely goddamn nothing. It's just there's nothing to these movies.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:22

I feel like there could have been something more to this movie if they actually made him hunt. Give us a montage of him hunting things down, like not animals, but like people or something.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:34

I don't know. You could have had him hunt down the Sinister Six, or yeah, yeah, they like they did in the video game. Oh, the video game is so good. Yeah, you know it's bad when like the video game writers beat you.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:50

Those those video games are like top tier, guys. If you haven't played Spider-Man games, guys, I I cannot stress enough how much you guys need to play them. They might be some of the best games ever. Spider-Man, uh, the first Spider-Man for the PS5, PS4, um, is the first and only game to ever make me cry. Oh my word. It's it's an insanely good movie. Go play that. Um, but yeah, Craven the Hunter is insanely boring.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:16

I I can't stress that enough. Um, Adam, with all that said, yeah, what would you give?

SPEAKER_01 1:17:27

I forgot the name of the movie. Craven the Hunter on a scale from one to ten.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:31

Yeah, give it a five. Like it's nothing offensive, but it's so boring, so forgettable. You'd forget as soon as you you forget when you watch the movie as soon as it's over.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:40

I would also give this a I'll give it a five as well.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:48

I'll give it a five. Uh IMDB has it at 5.5 out of 10. Letterbox, it's sitting at a 2 out of 5, and Rotten Tomatoes, it's sitting at a 15%. But let's check out what the audience score was. Its audience score is 72%. Insane. Um, I do want to reiterate that these are all terrible movies, and we're gonna rank them, we kind of already did, from the the the best worst of the three, and then you know, so on. So the most enjoyable, I guess I could say. I don't even know what to really say it. The least worst one here is Morbius, without a doubt.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:31

Without a doubt. It it's it's it has it has at least some good moments to it that are entertaining. But not a lot of them, but at least some.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:46

I feel like of the three main characters, I like Aaron Taylor Johnson the most. But but um, I feel like I don't know, there was something about Geraldto that gave the movie more or something than these other two main characters did in their movies. And then, so that's Morbius. The next movie, which is the middle one, we would say is insanely boring, and that is Craven the Hunter. Not much to say besides it being insanely boring, and the absolute worst of the worst, arguably, Adam, the worst movie we've we've watched to review. It's absolutely terrible, absolutely terrible. Um dumb plot, bad acting, bad writing, bad suits, bad effects, bad effects and suits, terrible villain, terrible villain. The ADR is atrocious, atrocious. Um, yes, now that we've reviewed all those movies and ranked them and given them their ratings for all of them. I want to see how much I want to go over how much each movie's uh budget was and their box office. So let's start off with with the budget. Um let's turn this into a little game, Adam. What do you think Mortibius's budget was? Let me guess 80 million. It says it had an estimated production budget of 75 to 83 million dollars.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:22

Alright, we're on the I'm in the ballpark.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:24

Yes, I'd say you're spot on. And now it's um what do you call it? It's it's box office, how much it made. Uh, Morbius had a production budget of approximately 75 million and grossed roughly 167.5 million worldwide.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:45

Well, something back, you got your money back at least, so yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:51

Eventually. Just not in the box office, I'll tell you that much.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:58

Yeah. Oh, well, I think actually, production budget was 75 million. Its marketing costs are estimated at over a hundred million. Oh. Never mind, you got F over. 175. So and it's worldwide was 167. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:19

Yeah. So that was that one. Let's go. Adam Webb. Adam Webb. Okay, Madam Webb's budget. Oh my word. Was it says uh okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:38

It says its budget was between 80 and 100 million dollars. What?

SPEAKER_02 1:21:44

Oh my god, they spent that much money on that garbage?

SPEAKER_01 1:21:48

Yeah. Oh, they said it's oh they even did reshoots, so they're saying it's it's actually its budget went up to like 120 million. And it's worldwide box office, dude, by the end of its run, made a hundred point five million dollars. That's an insane amount. They l not only did they yeah, they lost a lot, but they that's more money than I thought they'd make, honestly. Ouch. And a good they said a good chunk of the a good chunk of its money was um was on digital, which so isn't like the theater. Oh no, it's marketing cost estimated over a hundred million. So its marketing cost was a hundred million, and its production was a hundred and twenty million, which means if my math is mathing, that's like over two hundred million dollars spent on the movie. Wow. And it only made a hundred and five a hundred and a hundred point five million.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:51

Well can't say it's not deserved.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:58

And last but not least, Raven the Hunter. Okay, production budget was estimated at a hundred and ten million, but due to the pandemic and strikes, it ended up going to 120 million. Oh yeah, because this movie got delayed. I remember this movie getting delayed. Because of the the writer strike.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:23

So Oh, that's right. Dude, okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:30

Oh my word. Okay, so it's it said that its um production budget was like 120 million, its marketing budget was estimated at 100 million. It said it's break-even point. So to break even this movie, Craven the Hunter had to make 350 to 400 million dollars. The box office performance. You ready for? Oh my gosh, you ready for this, Adam?

SPEAKER_00 1:23:59

The film had an 11 million dollar opening weekend.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:07

It finished its run with around 24 million domestic and 34 million international, totaling 59 about 60 million dollars.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:22

So this movie made 60 million and it needed a minimum 350 million to break even.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:39

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:40

Missed the mark, you missed the mark a bit, didn't it? The outcome, the film has been described as a disastrous flop, becoming the lowest lowest grossing entry in the Sony Spider-Man universe. They're calling this the Sony Spider-Man universe. That's absurd. That's insane. It is um, yeah, so those were that's what we should we should I think we might be doing this more often for movies in the future now. Checking their how much money they made. How much money they lost. Yeah. And how much they cost to make them. Um yeah, that has been our I guess in actually these are the I think these are the first Sonyverse movies we're talking about, because we're gonna talk about we're talking about Morbius later on in the year. Um not Morbius, uh Venom later on in the year. Yeah. Yeah, so this is this is us talking about Sony's Spider-Man universe. I can honestly say the the their universe started off hot, even though we didn't talk about it, uh, Venom, and it only died a dozen. It it it died. Like Craven the Hunter is the last movie in the Sony Spider-Man universe.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:53

And it I mean it took them three movies to figure out this is not a good idea.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:59

Technically more, because like in between some of these you get Venom and Venom. Absolutely insane. But that has been us talking about Sony's three of the Sony Spider-Verse Sony Spider-Man Universe movies, Morbius, Madame Webb, Craven the Hunter. Oh, that was a doozy. We got there in the end, though. Um, thank you for listening. If you're still here listening to us, absolutely hate these movies. Even with them, these sometimes tend to be the most fun. Because I get to, it's like we get to vent, you know. This feels like therapy in some sense.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:38

Yeah, I guess we get to talk about. Listen, this people we're all just glad that these movies are dead and buried.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:44

For now. For now, for now.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:47

So they can't they can't make more.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:50

Watch, watch, watch this next Spider-Man movie make like three billion dollars, and they'll be like, let's do it again. We have the funds to do it again. Just watch them do it.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:59

With all that said, because this time it'll work. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:04

If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try, keep trying, keep trying, even though we're losing so much money, keep trying again, and then you know, release a disastrous flop of a movie, and then go back to Spider-Man. Yeah, yes. With all that said, though, I've been your host, Andy. That has been my co-host, Adam. Oh, we've even mentioned it. Stay tuned next week because next week we're talking about drum will please. We don't have the we don't have the budget for drum sounds yet, but next week we're talking about Thor Ragnarok. A hmm, opinions are to be had about this movie because you act because you know some people were like, It's the finally a great Thor movie. We'll talk about it next week, guys, because some of us may not really think that. Stay tuned next week for Ragnarok. Before we head out, make sure to follow us over. On Instagram at Revan and GoPod. And go check out Adam's most recent review of Ted Season 2. And I did a review for it. Doesn't really matter. Go check out Project Hell Mary if you haven't already. It's an absolute must. Go check that out. Go follow us on Instagram at RevanGopod.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:19

And with all that said, we'll see you guys on the next one.