T&JTOTW: Episode 22 - Social Media & Relationships : The Do’s & Don’ts You CAN’T Ignore!

In this conversation, T&J discuss the complexities of navigating relationships in the digital age, focusing on the importance of privacy, respect, and communication. The discussion highlights the impact of social media on personal relationships, the challenges of breakups, and the necessity of digital detoxes to foster genuine connections. Through various examples, the conversation emphasises the need for boundaries and the potential consequences of oversharing online a la Kanye West and Bianca Censori.
#relationships #socialmediatips #digitaldetox

Chapters

0:00 Introduction to Relationship Dynamics
6:48 Social Media Rules for Couples
11:49 The Importance of Prioritising Your Partner
27:08 The Impact of Oversharing on Relationships
35:57 Setting Boundaries in Public Relationships
44:45 The Impact of Privacy Violations
52:55 Navigating Public Perception and Online Personas
1:03:50 The Challenges of Breakups in the Digital Age
1:12:08 The Importance of Digital Detox for Couples

Transcript

Social Media & Relationships: The Do’s & Don’ts You CAN’T Ignore! | T&J Podcast Ep22 - YouTube

Transcript:
(00:00) nothing there nothing on the yeah um I say you've all seen the pictures or hopefully you've not seen the pictures because you can't unsee it if you saw them do you know what I mean so I think obviously that a lot of over sharing that's yeah the very definition of oversharing how you doing welcome to T and J take over the world I'm T and I'm Jay taking over your attention right way this is a love takeover with T&J love takeover taking over the world of relationships and development and human Harmony how you can live harmonious
(00:43) relationships with other people and yourself under God into uh a better tomorrow that's a lot was it yeah that's a lot of wor that's very motivational better tomorrow well short it next time but we husband and wife I'm obviously T the husband and you're I'm Jay the wife obviously obviously well you never know it's 2025 never know what's going on anyway anyway so we've been married how long we've been together I long again you forgotten yes there'll be 21 years in June 20 years 21 years married yeah now the all years together 24 about 24
(01:19) years 24 years together 21 years married so we know a couple of things we've made mistakes plenty of them we're not experts but we're very exper we're not experts but yeah but yeah we know she said we know a thing or two we know a thing or two or three about the this thing we called relationships and this thing called you know developing and growing as a couple and as an individual whilst being entangled in a couple not lest uh so what is the topic today lady J right the topics is navigating social media as a couple and
(01:58) wow yeah that's a big one isn't it that's a big one cuz um so many people are on it couples are on it together all the time in their separate yeah sneaking away posting pictures and reconnect him with ex no you can't have my password what you do jealous getting jealous third person in the marriage you know you me and phone oh do yeah so are we think no this is your phone not mine mine is away see I'm pre my preach my phone is put away somewhere so I'm not distracted by your phone I need it cuz I've got some notes on there it's hard to look at
(02:39) that's the only reason why I got it on here okay I'll let you are yeah exactly right let's do the show so let's get stuck in I was looking up some stories the other day and I discovered a story with about Steph and Alisha are Shakari okay yeah husbands come first that's so what was the what was the story what's the main gist of it well the the gist of the story is that she came up with Al Aisha haki has said that her husband con before her kids before her kids before her kids a kids a priority over everything else as a husband I must say
(03:14) y you ain't me you husbands yeah and um unfortunately she's had a lot of um backlash from that really yeah because it's obviously in today Society that's not going to be something that's going to be seen as popular because most people M are happy with putting their kids before their husband it's so what what what's what are people saying what are people kicking people said that how could you put your husband first you birthed your sort of like well when I read the story they said stuff like someone even said oh so if you were to
(03:47) give a kidney away would you give it to if your husband need a kidney kids need a kidney who would you give it to then would you give it to your kids or to your husband that's a bit of a dark kind of um someone even said well I am I made sure my kids are fed first before my before my husband but she said that Aisha K has said that the reason why she puts her kids uh sorry her husband first is because it's it's a good foundation setting for her whole family okay so what do you think about what you what's the do you I totally
(04:21) agree because I put you first I mean I have a I mean I to be fair I'm kidding I'm kidding I haven't always put you first I can't yeah I haven't always tell the truth and shame the devil yeah you told me that as well Jay remember me hello especially when we had our little on for the first TR she you must have felt like you were you came second had to breastfeed for the night not all for the night obviously but I had to breastfeed and then she was like in the middle of the bed and you're thinking hello I'm here you think with that
(04:51) though I think I was understanding because you know a baby is a a dependent so I'm not really going to be jealous too much over a baby maybe but in this one that I think most people seen when it when in this story they're like I I know you've birthed our children I'm a father obviously but you actually had your children going inside you yeah so I mean what do you think what is the main issue that women seem to have a problem with this I think the yeah I think that that's definitely one of the issues because at the end of the day she's she
(05:21) didn't birth her husband because that would be odd right she B be old her carried them more for four children and she bed she birthed all of them and she had them in her womb so people feel like how can you like put your husband first these kids are your cuz a lot of people their kids are like their they love them to the moon and back they'll do anything for their kids but at the end of the day my opinion is Aisha cry right she isn't married to her husband I mean sorry saying she is husband she she did obviously bir her husband she birth her
(05:51) kids but people must be thinking hold on a minute how can you put your your husband first it doesn't make any sense because they probably don't do that they probably put their kids best and that seems to be the norm these days that the husband's going to come last and then the kids so I think that to be honest I agree with her because I I married you and at the end of the day also as well one day the kids are going to leave home oh they're going to bounce they're they be thinking oh yeah my mom and stuff and
(06:21) the problem is with that if you put your kids first and your husband laughs when the kids leave home then if you haven't bonded over all those years you put your partner to the bat burner then what's going to happen to your relationship that's the question that is a question because that's a deal breaker because you could either grow um separate ways or stay together and just live together just to put our away Each Other Well I think you see a lot of couples make that decision to stay together for the sake of the kids yeah
(06:53) because they're thinking well we want to give them a stable home which I get it and that is very Noble yeah that you want to for your children to grow up in a stable environment especially if you grew up in a insecure one that your parents weren't necessarily together you know you want to feel like you know actually you want them to have what you never had because you love your kids yeah the problem is though is if you've made them the center of everything and you've neglected each other yeah as you said the inevitability that they're
(07:26) going to leave and you I've seen seen it where then the couples are like well we don't have any real reason to stay together we've done our job we've raised the kids so as well it's like I read another couple 70 couple that they don't make time for each other and that's both of them making that decision as well would have that put their both put their children first and themselves each other to the back B and they don't do date nights and stuff like that and the children are small that problem is they're going to have they could have
(07:55) problems in the long in the long run is if you if you're in that routine anyway you're you're so used to putting your children first that it's like you're never going to you're never really going to respon not responsible but like not ever putting each other first yeah and I think as well the children wise up pretty early to know that um they can play off mom and dad because they're at the center yeah they're the priority yeah and I think ultimately it's a bad trend for them because they haven't seen a relationship modeled
(08:30) that is committed parents who really hold themselves on high value because all they've been is the recipent of their parents putting them in a pedestal not really uh because I think what's health is when you see a your mom and dad love each other yeah and you know like it's like don't say stuff about your mom cuz that's my that's Mom that's my woman don't diss her and you say no disrespect D children always demand their mom's attention when they remember kids are small that Mom Mom Mom I was on the phone and fact I I would have to hide to
(09:05) go and speak to someone on the yeah say did Mar children in naturally selfish yeah they don't care about anyone but themselves so they demand they say I want food I want food they even say to you they would even ask you they'll be hungry who they talk to Mom's a nurture is it so you've got to make sure that your kids you know set that boundary MH in the first place because if not your kids are just going to you take over yeah they will they'll sleep take the world yeah exactly they'll sleep in your bed they will be at the center so I
(09:38) think it sounds logical for women to think that's my baby they were in my body I've got a special unique Bond but I I do think that at the same time and I'm a man I know I'm talking as a man so what do I know because I can't talk for women but so I can I can guess that's I can understand it from a lot point of view but at the same time like you said those kids are going to bounce they're going to bounce and you are and then what do you have you probably have no relationship might may have but it might just be
(10:12) superficial be out of oh yeah just he's there yeah but then don't really have that relationship because you've not done stuff together you not spent time together that quality time you've not gone on say holiday together or plan the future together had a conversation about politics or whatever you want to talk about because the kids are always there kids love your kids yeah but you still have to kind of like make your husband priority anyway I think that's enough of speaking about that yeah but you found there was yeah but I found a really good
(10:49) uh website actually a topic about couple yeah about coule media roles and I think it would really help the audience okay where's it from it's from the Independent and I'm going to the good old British newspaper independent it's not that recent but it's still applies okay okay checking your phone before bed I think you do that checking okay check your phone before bed is bad for your sleep sched anyway there should be a certain time in night you turn it off okay ask before posing posting pictures it's nice thing to do
(11:23) in general but especially when it comes to a significant other might have a different idea of what's acceptable for public it's nice thing to do in but especially when it comes to a significant other they might have a different idea what's accessible for public consumption or they just might not like the way they looking that photo PL safe and ask so that's about ask okay what so what do you think of those so far so ask for posting pictures yeah and the checking before bird uh those are ones I read any checking in each other yeah okay I think
(11:56) that it's just should be common courtesy to ask permission M before you post especially because it's your personal business I might consent for you taking a picture in the moment but I haven't necessarily consented for UD and sunry for the whole world the entire Network online to see me in my I don't know my man Keeny not that I have oneing that but see me uh go around and people have gotten the sack at work because they were a party a bar acting a bit foolish or whatever and someone's taking a picture yeah and that circulated and
(12:40) even though it wasn't something they did criminal it wasn't something that was a good look for the the company and he got sacked and I think there's times when maybe I might think you know as a as a husband like oh that's a really I know sexy picture of my woman not that and it to put that up not that I would but my for here no you put up nice pictures the modeling ones you put up and because he's a photographer so he's posted a lot of pictures but actually I've been always fine with it because I've been sitting there you and you've actually
(13:15) posted the pictures inway most of the time yeah yeah I mean it's it's never been any picture where I've I'm just imagine had a picture where it was maybe on holiday and say you know SP in the bikini and or doing something and you've put that out there and it may be innocently done but it's just not an appropriate picture and I think the bigger is the big issue is was there consent it's that simple was their consent because what I feel art as a harmless picture May isn't really the point the point is what youal yeah
(13:54) absolutely I think yeah you've never to be honest you've never done that anyway in ter of like just posted something that's like for instance in my bikini or anything like that I've always and I've always been fine in terms of like what we posted yeah because it's been a holiday pictur so it's been like we went to gree the first time I you posted pictures yeah but that's been nothing that's been inappropriate anyway it's not like I all like I just had yeah we there was we we St a s yeah absolutely so it's nothing okay this one's let me
(14:26) read it dates no Phone Zone date nights of for spending time with your partner and not your thousands of friends and followers keep phones off silent as well as out of sight to resist a Temptation scrolling through your phone do you think you um you are guilty I think you are I don't think I'm guilty that CU I don't do that I think you do that you're you do that all the time you're saying you don't do the whole looking through your phone and being preoccupied not as much as you do yeah not point that is it do
(15:01) yeah you do it okay tell me that instance then that I've done that circumstance where I've just been on my phone scrolling sit it well I can't exactly remember like a specific it was the 19 from such and such back in time think I think a journal I did say that I didn't I mention I meant you've done that more I'm sure you've done that more than I have been on Facebook ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch where ch CH I go no chimping chimping is is to do I you I taught you sry it's a photograph photographer as well it's a photographer
(15:40) term for when you're just constantly looking at the back of the the LCD screen going through the pictures chimping like a chimpanzee with a stick or whatever but it's the idea you know that I think ultimately it has become the third wheel in a relationship isn't it it's like the idea of the the phone is a character in the household itself it it's become like the I find that it's come like it's so I see it like the phones you you know like the Matrix yeah you plugged into this Matrix and once people all plugged in
(16:15) they can't get out of it like they're in a trance or something if you go the TR say everyone to The Matrix everyone is talking to the matri on the tube yeah have you noticed that yeah no no one talk to each it's just like and that's the problem imagine we're on a date night and then you're just on the phone and I'm just trying to say how are you you're on a date night was like you're on date night with the we've been on a date night and you're just on your phone when we went out and stuff we went you know went to somewhere
(16:45) to drink and talking and stuff and just be like you know when when was that dat when I don't keep dates on a date night I don't keep date night dates M make yeah but I think the main point is that CU obviously you can you can check out the article independent.co.uk put social media rules every couple should follow I think the main point is social media has become an intrusive part of 21st century relationships when we started out we were using payon oh yeah just about had a mobile phone and remember just about had a
(17:20) mobile phone and I remember call it long distance I remember going to the the phone going to the pay phone and dialing up and calling you and then I had a pager so we paged each other like I had a pager I was a bit more bit more FL cash and any think so but when we met up there was no choice but to in the early 2000s but to talk to talk because people didn't have Mo these mobile phones which takes it's so it's made people so antisocial made couples so antisocial of each other cuz how can you be on a date or even sit in
(17:58) your living room and then one person's on the phone the other one's just on this trance and TR on X on Facebook what's so special about these social media I think what it is is we we just feel connected it is it's the machines the rise of the Machines we are all in the Matrix we need a Morpheus to come set us free and even there people dating machines now AR they they're buying you got an AI girlfriend or boyfriend that's that's odd very weird like in Japan or something who do you feel that's on the who do you think's more plugged in than
(18:33) the other on on the out the two of us yeah I think you are you distracted yeah you get really distracted say for X I think recently you've come you've had to unplug but I feel that you really yeah cuz I can I can do that Facebook for a week yeah I don't go Facebook too much anymore really cuz someone we know anyway yeah I mean the few with Facebook when when used to go on Facebook it like your cat is everyone you know gets your friends and you see their business and then it gets boring yeah with like Twitter XB
(19:07) Twitter you go on to explore what other people are doing and saying and talking about and then you can get drawn into these conversations or conversational grants and arguments um but know at least what people think about stuff so but I think in a relationship you should be more caring about what's going on in your world absolutely your life together uh when you're you know organizing a date night I just you know maybe that's what's the point of going on a date night then if you're not going to if you're just going to be on your phone
(19:38) you might just be standing just sitting in so let's just run through then what's it say what just in in brief no phone yeah good luck with that ask before posting pictures don't be a violation don't follow your ex's accounts yeah oh we don't do that big no no don't like your ex's photos either that would be no no don't do that take everything with a grain OFA and they are the rules yeah that is it next story yeah so next story is a moved on exhausted that one no this next one was actually an interesting one Megan good and Jonathan major okay
(20:22) actors yeah got actors and the story is is this story specifically is about the time when Megan Good went stated that Jonathan Mages was sitting on her mom's lap oh and the me and internet went wild went wild did it yeah they were like saying that's a bit weird that he sitting on um her mom's lap and she was like oh um she said that's the best place that's my place which is weird because it's like why would you even say that on social media why would you say that on someone's podcast about him sitting on Mom's
(21:02) lapain I mean I thought it was sweet and endearing that he kind of was all affectionate loveby dby with her mom I mean would you sell my mom's love no no it's not that kind of pie it's not that kind of part it's also boundary setting really with a cop with a c so why do you think people were so upset about it because I think people are upset about it because it's not normal to sit on someone's love to sit on your mother what your mother-in-law to be's lap yeah and it's almost like if anything you'll be sitting on
(21:35) he'll be sitting on her lap not on Mom's lap yeah maybe as well because the mom wasn't Megan Good wasn't there oh yeah look like this is like Megan Good's lap so maybe that's why he s it I don't know but it's just weird how you'd s maybe it was a good position to be on or maybe he didn't have his mom around or something was like yeah I got it or maybe it's because like she wasn't there before she'll do her mom will do can't find Megan it's a bit weird how she was okay with that cuz if that was me yeah i' be like but why is it may be Advocate
(22:10) why is it weird why were people upset about it end of the day don't you want your uh husband to be or your your feather to have a close relationship with your mom wouldn't you you don't need to have a close relationship by sitting on the mother's Law's lap you don't need to be close that like he could be like sitting opposite on the table but what's wrong with it for me he's just too close it's too intimate sitting on someone laugh is a very intimate thing and it's just inappropriate yeah it's actually inappropriate to s m that or potential
(22:48) mother because I know that the dad he sits in his G says always sits in his garage and he cuts his hair that's one thing that's fine also what's the Dad what's the dad saying you said okay with like sa me son-in-law sit in your L wife that's right yeah it's a bit OD the Dynamics but I guess every culture has their own Dynamics and it could be a cultural thing like say ner coaching no no no it I let you doing know what you think you're doing it just be seen as like why are you doing this yeah not honorable yeah he would be going on the
(23:35) floor on his knees at her lap not on the lap but adjacent like you know ah you know Mommy Mommy so I think this goes into like Segways into maybe not to share you don't need to share all your home life or perfect example of unnecessary Maybe oversharing cuz that's the thing I think with all the stuff that it's not really about Jonathan Maes and Megan Good as much as the the the the brewha on the internet when this story popped a week or so ago over it um I think with the bad press he's been having you know he has had a very
(24:16) difficult time we won't go into it but related to situations of his former relationship just being kind of skirted around details uh he had very bad press it cost him epic role in the Marvel Universe he was supposed to be the big bad in the new Marvel uh Avengers film and stuff like that I would have thought that he the last thing he needs is any kind of negative press or stories even though this isn't a major one I just feel like do you feel it's a bit surprised that Megan felt like the need to share this maybe she just wanted to just share some
(24:54) like light-hearted the lighthearted thing about Jonathan M is another side of him CU it's had all that bad press May she's thinking actually this is another side to the one a soft kitten side yeah the one that she wanted to show her lightharted side to not a remotely weird who does that kind of vibe yeah but there was some people saying although saying that there were some people saying to that story that's that's nice that she shared that because that's a you know that's another side to other the majors and it
(25:25) just shows how close their family is the the fact that the mom obviously M really love Jonathan Maes a future cop sit on my that you know it just shows that their family Dynamics maybe they're close you know some people are like that yeah they're hoggy family and those I guess my issue my issue is did they really need to she didn't need to say to disclose that and I think it goes back to the boundary thing the question is is she actually ask him is it okay to shared that yeah you know don't know she did for you I wouldn't go on social media
(26:03) and say something that I haven't discussed with you before yeah and it weren't social media it was um it was no she went on a podcast someone she went on a podcast that was broadcast to thousands maybe all of that she did yeah cuz the guy was asking oh how does the parents how are the parents taken in Jenifer mes how they warned in that sort of thing and that's when she said that I think the things that the part that got the backup was that it's just sitting on the that but once she said that it was like oh yeah yeah and obviously she
(26:35) added to that that's her oh that's my play that's my lap as well that's so she's not only talking about the fact that he was somewhere that some people might think he probably shouldn't be part of himself but she's doubled down on it inima saying well that's my place yeah so out man they'll brother her up so I think I think the moral of the story is is that think before you you definitely share you don't overshare maybe not something your mother-in-law's L them or do it if you if that's your thing and you're all consenting look
(27:09) you're all consenting adults just maybe think about the consequences of how people perceive your relationships when you put it on blast like that because for some people it's oh that's really sweet some people that's weird very strange I'm a bit indifferent I'm like me I'm not bothered that's that and do what they want that's their life I I feel like I do wonder what it would be like to have a relationship with my you know with my mother-in-law where I'd feel comfortable like what's the next thing you know kind of like
(27:43) a coing up you know by the chest you know breastfeed oh yeah right let's keep it let's keep it PG-13 Jay that was a bit too far all right keep your mind that just came up yeah keep your mind out of the gutter please that a bit too far but yeah as you were saying leading on to uh this oversharing that probably leads us to uh Segway into um navigating the social media a couple the is is our main topic yeah for the podcast been definitely inspired by the Kanye and Bianca may be their full names can you West bianc sori and cuz we're not their
(28:26) mates you know I mean have be their mates don't it feels like we especially kany you feels like if I was if I was his friend I would maybe bit of an intervention maybe I'd sort of uh you know cuz they M uh can you not like put stuff up on you know you know dictators from the 1940s signs up on your post and all that yeah I mean this story about Kanye and Bianca obviously I'm sure people know about this specific story was about he was going on and on because he didn't get invited to Ramy mhm but it's weird because I read part of the story and it
(29:06) said about he he was number one he was nominated it's like if you're nominated to the nominated for Grammy yeah he's nominated for Grammy but they didn't invite him bit weird so he had to I think he spent said it he spent like five hours trying to get invited to the gramy okay so a rant about rant about it on social media then the only thing they invited him was the Red Carpet and obviously that's when the whole bianc had like a dress on that was pretty much nothing there nothing on the KN yeah um I say you've all seen the pictures or
(29:39) hopefully you've not seen the pictures because you can't unsee it if you saw them do you know what I mean so I think obviously that a lot of over sharing that's yeah the very definition of oversharing in this situation um that I think that goes into basic the oversharing thing the Privacy definitely of his wife she essentially it's like she showed up naked yeah and he's standing there like it's almost like he's presenting his presenting his GI introducing my naked wife I'm sorry here she take your coat off and yeah like and
(30:21) then she doesn't even look totally happy did she wellar well no I think she was it was just part of the you know models are meant to have give that look where they're like kind of just you know like they're not there but but then again that goes into boundaries M that for me that oversteps the boundaries of aren't you supposed to if you're with your spouse you're supposed to kind of like be protective of them especially in the public and obviously they're in the Limelight everyone knows who kany is everyone's starting to know who be
(30:53) because of kany kany West we do want to make it clear that we were inspired by this story but we're not really talking about Kanye and bian of course because um number one we don't know them number two it's kind of like how does that help me you you but I do think there's something about um the discussion of the aspects of your relationship you want to share because some people are assuming that he doesn't that she doesn't want to do it and he's forcing her so yeah we want to set in in terms of a couple M it's good to set those boundaries
(31:32) discuss what aspect of relationship to share online so that you on the same page sort of thing okay because it's like for instance me and you won't go and share something that I don't know about you because you want to keep my privacy you don't want to share to the world too much of your relationship online MH you want to be in agreement have that conversation to be like okay do you think it's good to share what part of aspects of our relationship do you want do you want us to share with the world because once that's out there
(32:06) then it stays there yeah that Wildfire yeah exactly that def fires so it's that I think for me argument is to share is to not over again not to overshare to keep something back but at the end of the day also every relationship's different and you as social the same you post on social media you've got to know what your comfortable with as well okay are you comfortable with sharing certain pictures or videos or maybe something you said online that you made me think I don't want to do that yeah she be happy with me sharing
(32:42) that or are we both happy with if we're doing a c video together like we know yeah I think whichever the case is is going to be a consensual thing you've got to both be willing to put yourself out there as a couple like we do this together we do uh this this show we talk about relationships and our own and share our personal business but we have agreed certain boundaries before we press record because you're I'm not going to say something very deeply personal about what we do and you're like what number one you can edit it out before post it's
(33:22) not a live stream so it can be edited that anyway yeah but uh number two it it doesn't make sense to not be in agreement because our point is we're putting oursel out there as a team you agree exactly yeah because also if you're if you're a team and you're one together you have to speak to each other about it anyway you can't do it because that's number one is disrespectful and you're not going to be on the same page and also further down the land that can cause start causing resentment and then you could end up matching up that
(33:54) relationship yeah have to go into therapy anyway so it's not really worth your while is it yeah it's not worth it every stepping that bound and just sharing stuff of just blurting your mouth out you know what I mean you know same things you're not supposed to say obviously if it's like a live one then you can't edit that out if it's something that we're do now you can't so just be careful what you're you're posting and have that conversation gotcha okay I think next thing is think definitely think before before posting
(34:23) avoid impulsive social media updates that could harm a relationship or reputation sure because I think that just think before you speak just think before you press the button because once you press send you can you can delete stuff but it's most of the time it's already out there yeah but you can take off but by then people damage could and if you post something especially if it's quite racy or salous other people can screen grab it or keep it and though you may have deleted it you've had a problem we watching a show
(34:57) on in in here in the UK about a celebrity star a celebrity uh reality TV star who'd been on love Island who got with another reality star and he secretly filmed them being intimate against her will and he put it on only fans his only fans account and to make money and then she found out she was mortified took him to court uh but the damage had been done because even though he took it down it found itself on a ton of international pornog uh and uh uh what's I can't say the p word because it's it's a family show but
(35:42) on lows of adult sites yeah and she made a documentary try to go around and get them removed off of the sites and the hubs devastating it is devastating for her because it's like she was trying to go around trying to scrub it out yeah really it everyone she looked it was still there and you imagine she'd lost a lot of work through that because they conf seeing her in certain in a certain aspect yeah from him at the same time making money King kach Ching K Ching but it's like she's unfortunate she's not making money she wants because of that
(36:16) ruined her character and everything and ruined her chance of getting more work well it damag her because she was involuntarily in a qun you can they can say that word qun film an adult movie in of sorts yeah and it wasn't it was against their will and something was deeply deeply deeply private had been made uh Global access to I think it been watched eight several million times yeah which is bad and that goes obviously into the concept of respect your partner's privacy yeah you know ensure that both parties are comfortable with
(36:53) any shared content you know you you I don't personally think you again she didn't know I don't think you should be filming anything deeply personal because they call the term Revenge horn yeah when you break up with some dude or woman and they've filmed it even if it was consenting if they have the Masters they can leak put things out there to as revenge on you because they're hurt that you split up or they've got unfinished resolved unresolved issues with you and I think that's the danger of um the internet now that people the whole
(37:31) world could see you in a way you don't want yeah I think it that goes back to respect because I think if you respect your partner's um privacy and you love your partner you wouldn't do that someone to do that I think it's very malicious because look how that's bitten that girl now that woman now it's come to B she obviously she didn't know that until F down the L it's really bad it's really important to that respect for your person and to ensure that they you know one second so I think that it's really important out of
(38:07) respect that the person isn't going to do that who you're with is not going to do that and to not do that to them because I think it's really it's really bad and that can cause harm resentment obviously you're going to end up breaking up with that person because how can you even get away with that yeah I hear that and I mean you know but then that that's the stuff that is against say a partner's will like disclosing private pictures or video or video but then there's the content that you may knew you may knew you knew was being put
(38:42) out there say a certain racy photo like in Bianca Sor you know Ken's wife's perspective situation her wearing that barely their new dress that's they were conscious of that there it wasn't like oh what are you doing oh what you doing it was very much yeah we're we're doing this it was like Tada yeah so I think that some would say that's called creating a viral moment oh yeah definitely that was definitely creating a viral moment but is it needed the viral moment because once you have the viral moment like that you can't create
(39:19) that again that's just like a oneoff thing there's no need just create enir vir moment offline yeah between you yeah exactly you can just keep then you can just creating new one share it with the world so maybe I think what do you get out of it what do I get out of it well it's this whole idea of wanting a lot of couples do this they want to show the world what their relationship is they want to kind of like parade it there for some guys it's showing they've got this beautiful woman that is desired by men and they kind of get they get off on
(39:53) that why though why do you need to share that why do you need why would you off that what's that going to do to the person and your relationship cuz that I know I'm not one of those guys I'm married to a muggle are you joking yeah and then if the thing is if you break up with that person you're very likely if you're someone that does that like to do those things it's likely that could happen again to someone else in another relationship what do you mean if you do that if say for instance you sh stuff like that online but you want
(40:24) to create that vir moment online with your person or both of you you you both might end up going into relationships again and doing the same thing what if that person doesn't want to do that in terms of like you might say oh let's post these pictures or post this this video yeah make it like really big on Facebook yeah Instagram or something and then that may cause harm to that relationship and breaks down yeah or you might have to go to therapy whatever but then you might you might not you might end then you go to the because you
(40:55) haven't dealt with those issues yeah then bringing it into another relation new relationship yeah and then the the cycle keeps going on well I guess that's where're discussing Comfort levels yeah between yourselves what are you comfortable with are you comfortable like weer takes a piece I'm a photographer um but I obviously never took pictures against your will I always we're always like oh we're going to take a picture obviously you were my test M my muse yeah my my test Model A lot with port photography stuff like that and I
(41:28) put a picture on social media and they get really great feedback yeah um nothing inappropriate nothing geie so there was there were that problem of oh you know he's parading his wife someone did make a cheeky comment once saying oh you want to you showing off your wife are you these pictures of your wife and I'm like well number one she's consenting number two uh you know she wants to model anyway and it's kind of like we're helping each other out abolutely and then number three none of your business you know mean it's always person none
(42:03) yeah mind your own business you know sort of things that your own mrss um but I think we got to respect each other's boundaries and I think it it doesn't have to be the extreme of Revenge corn if you break up you know someone posting an intimate picture racy picture or video that was meant to be for your eyes only doesn't have to be that extreme or in this case that with the whole bian and and and and KY thing where they've decided mutually agreed to parade themselves it wasn't just that Grammy's thing but some photo shoots where it was
(42:38) a little bit on the on the the the the racy side yeah in the moment you might be cool but then down the line you're like why did I do that it's like when people get a tattoo of a boyfriend or girlfriend you on their arm or leg or wherever and it's like and when they break up and then still got the person name on yeah it's there like for good exactly I mean you can laser it up but it doesn't totally go away that they just more F or on it leading on is to focus on the genuine connections focus on the genuine connections manufacturing content for
(43:14) social media yeah that's a good one there's genuine connections actually having the conversations put your phone down on plugin putting the phone down and just speaking to each other now yeah that's that's hard for some because if the person's boring then there's no conversations Happ yeah it's Dr it's dead it's dead it's dead in it there's these cards you can get actually on Amazon get you talking okay these I think they're called talking talking cards it's got no for people that don't know how to have a conversation anymore helps you
(43:49) out um again like with the problem I have with with a canyan situation just as a model example is a people have assumed a lot of negative stuff about Kanye relationship there's some negative stuff going on around Kanye and and largely that's his fault because way put out but we're not going there but people have made assumptions that she's controlled he's dominating her he's making her do stuff which could be the case but I don't think it's fair to jump to that conclusion because at the end of the day um her sister apparently does
(44:25) similar stuff yeah yeah puts herself out there online scanty dressed it's like a thing it maybe it's a family F I think the Kardashians didn't do bad for them did it uh so the idea that it's Stant like for example uh you're a little bit more reserved or quieter than me I'm more the extrovert people remember once we did the video long time ago when you were a bit quieter oh yeah yeah yeah and someone there was a Facebook live and someone said oh why don't you let your wife speak and then you were like well this wasn't about her it was about me sh
(44:58) you think you're sharing your story that that sounded bad the way you said that what about okay not a bad way but I mean it was a video I was doing about promoting my book yeah that's it and Jay was with me for moral support yeah but someone said oh why don't you let your wife speak and it was like well number one I don't control whether my wife speaks or not anyway I'm not she's her own person like adult duh and number two literally she was in the video for moral support cuz I was sharing some things that were quite P quite emotional in
(45:32) regarding into my book um but that's the Assumption and we get it because even in person over the years because I'm a bit more an extrovert you're a bit more introvert and I'll be the talker some people have misconstrued it being that oh you I told you right say nothing for the whole time yeah just let me being star it be the sidekick yeah that's literally not true because all you did just sharing your your information about your book and I was just there yeah but just in general people have thought that yeah people have thought that in general
(46:03) but I think what people see from the outside in they don't they don't live in our house they don't know what it's like in our home obviously you know me the best out of everyone else people just see people see you out of our house you see me sorry you only know me from a certain perspective but then you just spoken then yeah they don't really know me so you're the one that knows me the best you see me like loud Goofy and all that way some people don't see that yeah you know anyway do the point yeah didn't get to that any like yeah yeah the team
(46:38) is Goof well yeah uh how you in terms of the dominance thing it's like sometimes if one partner has a very kind of bold out there strong Persona and the other one is a bit more it can look a bit wonky and it can give the impression that either it's a domineering woman or a domineering man and I think the assumption is usually to the men like I watching uh um Married at First Site remember watching that one where there was particular contestant who was very vocal and he was very blunt and the woman he was the wife was also
(47:23) very vocal and would scream and shout him and he would tell her w't talk to me like that it'd be assertive she could carry on very very aggressive but him just setting his boundaries and being sort of kind of like don't talk me that blah blah he's like oh he's a scary man he was a big guy as well big REM the consistent you know Alex and um okay yeah try to that so there was a lot of assumption that because he's a big big black guy don't know if there's a bit of a race Dynamic he's a big black guy she's a white lady
(47:58) don't know if there's also a little bit of subtext of all scary black man raising his voice you know because you can get that where somebody because of being a minority some not making this a whole race thing or whatever but sometimes you assert yourself in a way and it can come across as an aggressor in this case CU he's a very big mus like kind of guy but there was another guy he was white and bigger muscular who apparently would throw plates up the wall and scream at e partner and no one accused him of being
(48:28) an abuser and this and that so definitely think that was a race thing because he was just being himself and that's all he can be as yourself you can't be no one else can you but it's like the other person other guy didn't say anything yeah so just an agenda well I just think it's kind of like when it comes to how you present yourself as a couple people will have their presumptions based on a myriad of factors if there's an age difference if there's a cultural difference if it's some interracial relationship if it's
(49:03) this or that people may if one person in relationship is more an exhibit exhibitionist and out there than the other like with the can situation what if Bean is an exhibitionist and I've heard stuff that maybe she is that she naturally uh throws herself out there in certain for a certain physical attention I mean he has a type look at Kim Kardashian she's always taking the clothes off why is it him cuz actually you thought that tell me why did you think necessarily that always he's controlling her well I I I did read
(49:35) something about his controlling that he's I think story said that he like dominates even control what she wears I heard that about k k dominates what she control what she would word well yeah it's public display you just don't know what's real to what you don't know what's true into what's what's untrue yeah is what every ever's reported because obviously different media let's say say it from a different perspective as well and you make your relationship vulnerable it may not be people might not be covering your relationship like
(50:05) you know uh CNN or or whatever news Outlet or Hollywood Reporter because you're not a celebrity but your friends and your family will your mates will your work colleagues people will judge your relationship based on what you put out there so if you're putting out videos if you're putting out videos if you're putting out pictures posts critic posts I've seen people put their arguments on social media and whatever then don't be surprised if people come back and have an opinion on your relationship because you've used social media to kind of like
(50:43) go uh manipulate or control the relationship yeah yeah I think we've um thoughts yeah I think it's it's a it's interesting one to because even like you could even use that reals now yeah stories and those sorts of things and Tik Tok to put all sorts of things out but I think for me it's just too much air in you all yeah you know laundry basket in public yeah far too much and too again it's overly it's overly sharing don't need to keep the Privacy don't overly share just don't go into too much yeah personal things I think that say that goes on to
(51:24) letting letting online personas overshadow real relationship Dynamics yeah meaning that you have a Persona like T&J yeah we are who we are I mean you know we are as whether it's being goofy whether it's being a bit like lighthearted or deeply serious what you see with us is what you get we don't have a screen Persona to quote Jennifer Lopez I'm Real talk the way you talk you that sound bad yeah old song as well it very old um we don't have a fake persona but maybe some couples do maybe uh could you get a lot of couples
(52:12) who are like you got like the love idle stuff you've got the the social media relationships the showmances where even if they're real relationships yeah they're structured in the way to maximize attention for money you know you know one yeah those sort of relationships they definitely not their fate because they just they just make it clear that this is what they want at least they know what tell them what people they want they want the money but how long is that going to last how long is that going to last them doing
(52:49) that you makes them looks kind of desperate as well obviously got these brand deals now like the love island people yeah people are G there to get the bundles any especially the latest one the All Star one yeah there's no way that relationship no way is that Rel those relationships going to last they'll last as long as the ad breaks the only ones last they're engaging wen't they samam and Kai and San yeah I had a feel that was going to last anyway yeah and they live together as well so that was yeah that's sweet yeah but
(53:23) normally in a lot of them they don't Li and then what that seg perfectly into when you Mar when your relationship breaks up in a digital age breakups are mess it the best of times but when you're blasting it all over social media might not be that helpful what do you think helpful no I think you just got to be careful what you're what you're sharing what you're just be cautious just be cautious what you're sharing announcing relationship change online you just got to be just over share was it like when Facebook had that that uh
(53:54) that that function you put it's complicated a relationship that gone though is it gone oh have I still got it I know I haven't seen it but I just remember like it was a thing where people would put like oh it's complicated Mar complicated what is that like situation [ __ ] I don't know yeah yeah kind of relationship kind of lot in a relationship yeah situationship that complicated is it lot of those these days but I think just being cautious of doing those things because also that gives that a certain vibe to people who
(54:27) were seeing that and to be honest it would probably better not to even say anything if that was me I'd rather not put anything like that I'll just leave it black that bit even for me going on Facebook I you you were the one that got into Facebook in the first place I always quite a private person I am still quite I am still yeah but don't make it sound like don't make it sound like you never would have eventually got onto Facebook we talking about when it come out like 2007 no it's 2008 I don't think I would have been into I
(55:00) don't think I'd been on Facebook to this day now serious if I never yeah I don't think so so I'm I a controlling your relation I'm the controlling one dominating one relationship like what we just talked about so basally you you B say that I controlled you going on to Facebook forcing me to go Facebook you encouraged me you didn't force you encouraged me to go in there and like because obviously Facebook is more about people you know with people but I don't think if it wasn't for you encourage me I don't think I'd be be on there
(55:30) seriously okay need dominate domineering anything dominate me it was more about I was just joking but I was saying way you said it was like if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be H put a gun to your head and said you must go on Facebook or else and now I I hard even gone me nether when I do go on there it's Just sh me like celebrities on there yeah cuz I don't obviously if you don't converse with people on Facebook now it doesn't because of the AL algorithm won't show you anyone you know all of a sudden you're going for you're like that's it
(56:03) so do you think it makes more sense to if you have a breakup rather than announce it to the world because you'll see a lot of people do this yeah they will vent on Facebook about their relationship breakups they will talk about how messy the person was or they will try and assassinate each other which doesn't cause any isn't benefit to anybody he's a no good so and so she's no so and so it'd probably be better just to seek support and help from trusted friends and family rather than going to social media for validation yeah would you
(56:41) agree yeah I'd agree because you don't need to you don't need to go on social media event like that because not being funny but people going to tell you all sorts of things like good and bad to the best people to go person to go to would be to have to go through counseling therapy whatever you may call it because I think family members are going to tell you one thing your friends are going to tell you one thing yeah and then the people on Facebook who lot of them probably don't hardly speak to or on Instagram or on Tik Tok what's the point
(57:12) of that what are you going to get out of that have a make or that could have a make or break a relationship yeah so I don't think it's a good idea to do I mean we've had RS before and I I can't imagine kind of like sharing that on us on social media because once we've gotten over it and we've made kiss to made up um other people are remembering the details and it's in their head and you know whether it's your people or my people it becomes a um a team sport like oh I'm team jell I'm team Tony I don't like what he did I don't
(57:55) like what she did and then they start to divide you up because you open the door for their opinion don't do it don't make no sense so it's very easy for sometime one person to be like she may my mon what she said is true then yeah then they can kind of like turn the turn them against them that's why you don't go to your family if you serious problems in your relationship cuz they bias your family should be teamu which means that they should Al they should kind of be naturally more bias towards you right which means that you are the hero in the
(58:38) situation almost unconditionally and even though you're you may not be they're not going to tell you necessarily unless they're very wise what did you do what did you say maybe you could have done something different maybe you could have been a bit less antagonistic da da da da they're just going to be oh what did he do what did she do oh lever dumper dump him going to give you the right right they're then probably very lik not going to give you the right advice so it's best to kind of leave them out of it don't tell them
(59:08) yeah when I think of our kids particular our daughters yeah unless it's a situation where there is abuse whether verbal or physical like as a dad I watched one clip from I think a show called Green Leaf that went I was someone post on Instagram where the daughter got married and the sister saw or the groom slap around the face spoilers and the the daughter come and told the dad in the actual BR in the actual wedding night day itself and the dad was like you put hands on my daughter you put hands and he's like no
(59:39) man no man he punched him and I was like don't don't Advocate violence I'm not saying I advocate violence but if you're if you're throwing hands on my daughter we're doing we're getting into a dance we're getting into and it ain't going to be like fake wrestling you know where it's like pretend fighting so if it's unless it's physical abuse or mental emotional abuse if you just having arguments and disagreements and whatever leave me out of it yeah because I am if it's my daughter or my or my son I'm going to we're going to be
(1:00:14) biased to be on your side and it might turn us off of your partner because if you keep on telling us the negative things he or she's doing that's naturally going to make us see them in a certain way that will get you yeah that's going to get you back up if it's just normal husband and wife or partner disagreements but because they keep telling you you start having a negative opinion of their partner yeah yeah that's you know what I'm saying like if I was to say to my family oh and jene does this and she said this and she done
(1:00:46) that that would when so even if it's not like major also to add to that it's nothing to do with them anyway no it's not RS and all sorts of issu you don't go to your family no you know about your stuff oh yeah this happened people some people do that but it's like you've just got to learn to to close that chapter when you get with that person whether you're married or not because it's nothing to do with them it's their business yeah so I think that then leads us into the digital detox this is my favorite part
(1:01:21) actually for detox I think it's really important for couples because I want to show you the concept of this digital detox in terms of turning off your phone switching off all the notification that's going to be a hard one for manyu before I've actually put my phone in the drawer before put it in the drawer yeah actually put it away in the drawer okay that's an idea that's a that's a choice but then I did it again another time thinking oh I wonder what emails I got I wonder what I've got did you feel fomo fomo City
(1:02:01) yeah there was that one time came the headress do a b one came the headress my phone's about to die I called The Uber I was going to leing D okay where you used to work is that why you late yeah that's why I was late because then the the Uber came just as I was about to I think just about to get into all it was letting me know where to find the Uber my phone died Uber and yeah my phone died so I didn't know where the Uber was and then they had to go home on the bus and then go and charge my phone and then get call
(1:02:31) another Uber that's what I L yeah and then I thought oh my gosh my phone died I was like oh my gosh now I'm locked out the Matrix what's going on yeah so what's that got two of Digit detox in no just it's a story okay it's a story R but sorry just a seg way back into the story is that yeah I explain the concept of the digital detox is turning off your phone putting it away being able to then reconnect again with your partner it's really important and I think the way why why why is it why is it important to what is the benefit of
(1:03:11) disconnecting together the benefits disconnecting together is that you can then have a conversation it can help to improve communication which is really important okay because communication as we know communication is a key yeah tell me more in everything mhm Comm improve communication if you have got everything locked off you're going to be laser focused on what okay Theory be boring or something in theory might just decide oh I missed my phone already yeah go back to your pH say on that MH but then to be able to sit down and have
(1:03:49) those maybe a conversation that you haven't had for ages or getting things off your chest you wanted to tell them for a long time or maybe like you're dumped that's you're dumped if you're married not going to say you're divorce yeah that's not but or maybe like planning a trip away or something or planning your goals what you what you want to do in life together there's a reason why you're together right not not to go just for the sake okay you're in normal a normal relationship anyway um it can also increase intimacy which is important and
(1:04:23) then increase so what's increased intimacy like what like bound like boundaries put his boundaries in my head cre intimacy like spending time like for me quality ter that's my love L okay yours is um at service oh you remember that's good service that's good I've been for like 23 yeah but mine's quality time so quality time is right out there for me intimacy is really important to spend the quality time when you're not on your phone like when we s together so detoxing together is really important because if one detoxes and then one
(1:04:55) doesn't that's going to be like hello yeah awkward so yeah that's increase intimacy and then number three is reduce stress and anxiety cuz obviously if you're on X MH then you're like gosh what that person say what they comment oh what's going on with that person now if you're both off it it will you won't have to even think about that if you're both detoxed from toed if you're both off socials SED off your phone whatever you don't have to think about yeah so I get with reduced Stress and Anxiety I get that that outside factors
(1:05:32) can agitate especially if it's emails from work or like I said if you're on X and everyone's yeah fighting and everything's World War II and then you turn to each other I'm angry it's not you I've se but it feels and it's with you at time Facebook and stuff conversations frustration and you you're get I'm sitting there with you I have detox on my phone I put it down okay on my phone and I'm seeing you get like putting the world to rights anger and the more the person back and forth and you're getting involed okay think I
(1:06:11) hear you are now these are my tips what's your tip for implementing a digital detox I'd say start with small time blocks example during dinner because we all know that if you the the more you make something very I'm going to use the big word gargant you know big oh look at mean know what the more you make something like this real big mission is a more it's going to be difficult to stick to it so start small small time blocks so maybe for the 1 hour or so of dinner time my phone is going to be in that drawer or locked
(1:06:53) somewhere or just on the table start there start with a small dinner yeah you know and from there you work your way up so you know Ro was not built in a day small increments small small small so and then I think second point of my of my tips is plan engaging activities onl offline together offline activities so if you're just going to say no phone but then what you're just going to sit and stare at each other I don't care how loving you are yeah with how lovey doy you get if you're just going to be staring each other and and like a g or
(1:07:31) nothing to say it's not going to be much fun is it if you plan an activity so we're not going to be on the phone we're not going to be on the Facebook the the x or whatever watching Enders YouTube videos we're going to go out for a meal or we're going to go bowling or we're going to go uh for a walk around the block we're going to do something activity wise that means that we're not thinking the whole time where's my phone where's my phone where's my phone because you know if you put the phone somewhere in the room yeah say in the
(1:08:05) middle of the coffee table in the middle of living room we're just sitting there yeah and we're we're both thinking I really want to pick up my phone so it's there it's there and you're not on it but your heart is on it you're thinking about it it's not here but it's here yes you know what I mean it's not in the hair but it's in in your mind so I think that's an area where going out with an activity means that you're completely you know taking off yeah yeah because it's been so in tune with our phones for so long had an iPhone since what 2 early
(1:08:45) 2000 yeah been plugged into this Matrix FR ages and that's the whole agenda they wanted people to do that they wanted there was an agenda they set up sounds like where's your tin hat conspiracy theory set up so people can be antisocial anyway anyway gu we go Alex James so I would say my final tip is to create a reward system for successful detox periods so it's like yes I did a whole one hour without checking chip scrolling my phone without going Instagram 1 hour about the ground yeah well done he goes y pop pop and then it will go maybe two
(1:09:29) hours you celebrate and by a whole night you're dancing the street having the street party in your honor because you took you know you put your phone down so I think that's pretty cool I think you could ask me what I think about this what you think yeah my tips start you like your tips actually but starting with small time blocks I think over dinner putting it down is a good idea actually because to be honest you don't need your phone while you in anyway you why you're going to check X while you're doing your dinner or you're eating your
(1:10:00) dinner sorry yeah you're going to check that Facebook message actually yesterday to be honest I did check WhatsApp doing dinner my friend messaged me that's not good is it that's three people dinner with meant to be this between us our thing and you're okay but continue continue contradicting our tips you know you know um make mistakes and you be better another day yeah but yeah I like the one where you said plan engageing offline activities together because that's really important because as you said what's the point of having
(1:10:29) your phone away from you but then you've got what you going to do then just sit there yeah so it's good to plan what you're going to do staring each other's eyes lovingly until you're board go on a ski trip or plan those fun activities maybe have a book club or something yeah you know something quite creative and something really rewarding as well um yeah talk about reward actually remember when you said creating a reward system for successful detox that's a good idea say I put my phone down for 5 hours tell it 5 hours phone wow I been
(1:11:02) thinking boy how much emails am I going to have that's the thing though is it if your phone you away from your phone for five hours you might miss like if you need to respond to an email or something you might miss being able to respond you know that office out someone's notw and then you respond but I guess you can schedule it to send it the the next day so I've been using a lot lately yeah schedule in schu in yeah here's an exercise I want you to do yeah could you do it do you think you can do it I have faith I have
(1:11:35) faith 30 seconds right now turn your phones off turn all your notifications off on your phone not right now while we're listening to us now listening to us on your pH come this video just turn just take 30 seconds after this video and turn off all your notifications and see what happens see how that feels like turn it off for like 2 hours or something put it draw and then see how that goes I think it's going to be really it's really going to hurt your relationship as well for sure and I'll say this try I know
(1:12:12) this is this is a big one try a 2our bone free day night this week I know but well wait we hold hold hold hold it those two hours could be the best spent two hours you've had in a long time you can reconnect you can share what's on your heart like Jay said earlier you can plan some future things just two hours of phone free Bliss so you can get connected again maybe spend those those two hours somewhere where you are out and about maybe romantic meal or just cheeky nandos whichever is your fancy but just make sure you commit to those 2
(1:12:57) hours try it once and thank us later you're getting used to it as well though seriously and the importance of being present can you imagine like with your partner for those two hours without no phones and both of you with no friends you're not going to be sitting in londers thinking oh let me just go to my messages because your phone's going to be off anyway unless you sneakily when they go to the toilet underneath the table Yeah like that like that like this oh yeah sorry there yeah yeah yeah yeah if that happens that's more because you
(1:13:30) we're so used to being plugged in The Matrix anyway it's almost like we've been it's learn Behavior Lear Behavior we have to check our phone we have to check the Gmail we have to check the Yahoo and we have to Chimp away at the scrolling scrolling scrolling Tik Tok now if you've done this drop us a line and let us know if this tip worked or it sucked if it worked for you maybe maybe you can post some something on our on our social media T and J digital detox challenge how about that hasht and let us know and if it worked spread the word
(1:14:05) send us a little tip and thank us later I think it'll work for them I think it if it work for us it work for them and then the next one what we can do if you post those in our comments we can actually then use your stories in our next episode of TJ yeah that's an incentive isn't it yeah might be famous so L J you want to summarize the key takeaways of what you've learned through think the social media I think they definitely the key ways of social media I think would be is not to overshare definitely no over don't do that no
(1:14:35) oversharing no oversharing keeping the boundaries set those boundaries between you and then keep them got to have a conversation as well communicate is communication is the key got have that conversation first in order to execute that really well otherwise that could cause resentments breakups and other things m divorces which would be worse because obvious you're married if you have kids as well that's that causes problem broken family yeah broken families and we don't want that um I also think keeping the Privacy as well
(1:15:08) being careful what you post talk to your spouse or to your partner what you want to pose and what you feel comfortable with um and definitely digital detox is a big one is to keep that up and keep it going because I think that the key takeway for that is just being present and I think it's because I don't think enough people are present these days offline and I think you know if you want to have an amazing relationship full of passion passion and fire and fireworks and Longevity and all that good stuff maybe live it in real life rather than
(1:15:46) online maybe keep some things personal and sacred so you don't have a Minag Minag of 12 Minag 20 people in your relationship all having a say in what you do how you conduct it because you've opened the door to let them in you might like the idea of of you know the whole polyamorous thing having multiple people in a relationship but if you are like us oldfashioned and you like uh onetoone relationship you know one person you know one couple then don't allow the multitude into your relationship through the back door by letting them in
(1:16:29) on social media letting them see every intimate picture every intimate message every High every low and particularly you know anything that you do behind closed doors whether it's consensual or non I wouldn't advise it I say keep your personal business your personal and that is the key to a healthy relationship would you agree yeah I think that's some good tips on his hey the audience fantastic yay mistakes we've made a few but we've not posted them online we ain't got no secret videos and leaks and pictures of
(1:17:07) Us online you have to go deep into in not not even deep need find find it so we could few we can sleep at night can't we cuz like yeah you we don't have to scrub away yeah was long never going to get it never going to get it I've been te I know J and go and love each other on without a phone you can do it you can do it