Allies Series Ft Teresa Schrell: Frenemy-ME?

In today's episode, we continue our conversation with Teresa Schrell and our fellow Miner about being her own frenemy.  Interestingly, she speaks about how those she holds close to her heart share in her internal process, shifting her from being her own frenemy to her ally.   She gives special shout-outs to those who aided her along the way! 

By the way, who is this Miner?  Well, you or anyone willing to do the inner work to mine their JEMMS!  

Click on this episode to meet up and enjoy as you listen in, stay open, and remember to invite in your inner child.  We are healing all parts of us today!  :-)

Transcript

0:03

Hello, I'm your host Charmaine, and welcome to Beautiful JEMMS! that was amazing. Thank you to the Most High God. As we think about the story of Joseph. Yes, he was very close to God. And God also put them around people that cultivated this forgiving heart, which he needed later to save the nation of Israel. And just like Joseph, God places, people around us, our fellow miners, to help us cultivate what's on the inside of us to mine our gems. You've shared how your friends are an important part of your internal process, homie. And one of the experiences you shared with me in the past involved a poem. I called it be true, be you. And it was one of the assignments of the poetry I had a poetry group that I was in with one of my rocks I'll call she's actually the one where I came up with the the labor rocks because she was such a strong and it's tied to this, she was such a strong pillar, and a one of my, my rocks, my my solid gems, if you will, well, she was a co worker, if you will, in the mind. And she was a diamond. She was one of my gym. And we would get together weekly. To write poetry basically, it was it was literally a poetry, a very intimate poetry group. And on this day, in particular, I think we were talking about empowerment, more femininity, I don't remember the topic. But this is the piece that I came up with. It wasn't a poem. But it was very empowering. It was one of empowering moments. And it made us I feel like stronger. It was like a woman's group. It was only a few. There was a few people. It wasn't many, but it was a kind of what I thought of just now was a quilt how you start a quilt. And you have all these images within that quilt it was like that, like when we came together, we didn't even know what was at that table, the power and force that was coming to that table. And this This was one of the pieces that I thought was I guess it is spoke to even us getting together as a group. So I called it b2b You. And I said, so the writing this week is about women empowerment. And ironically, I have been feeling powerless in line, in love. And in finances. My authority seems to be choked, and bound in an endless cycle of denials and disappointments. I feel less like Wonder Woman or Superwoman, and more like, as our Nana would say, put an h over your chest and handle it, quote unquote, was confused and unsure what to share for this topic. And it was within that uncertainty that I found the answer. That is when the juices started flowing. And I remembered that in these moments going within was where my power residing, this authority would not be through my strength or masculine, but it would be through my weakness, quote unquote, feminine and emotional vulnerabilities in order to maximize my contribution to the true power that I embody is within me.dot.my femininity. I am empowered, sharing his emphasis speaking to the group, the poetry group, sharing has given me superpowers that I have never known that I had my superpowers are ignited and are most impactful through authenticity. I prayed and asked where I could serve. And through sharing was my answer. Like a neon flashing black billboard. I kept getting the sign that read, quote unquote, share your story, exclamation point in capital letters. I have been doing that. I have been doing that for as long as I can recall, sharing my story, and I do it in the writing group as well. It is how I have gained such amazing friends. And it will be how I continue to help in serving others. It will be through my struggle. And through my flaws that I gain and give strength. My power increases as I empower others. Thank you so much for sharing that mining experience with us. You could hear all of the hard work that you put in with your fellow miners in the poetry group to do the work that you needed to do on the inside to mine those gems. To contrast this experience of being your own ally, what does it look like when you become your own Frenemy? Although my rocks, my friends, my family, the co workers in the mind was very, very imperative to my health, my bros, etc. There are times when if I listen to them more than myself, because those are who I really lean on, I'm not going to strangers, more more likely than not to get opinions about major life decisions. I'm going to those closest to me, and where I become my own frenemy, is allowing myself to basically listen to them over myself. I actually did a Love Yourself Challenge with Trent Shelton. Well shout out to my coach. And what I did was a recording of the it was almost like a check in like the last day was like, how was it for you? What did you like about it? It was almost like that kind of in. In doing the recording itself. I realize and recognize this very thing of how I can be my own frenemy where others weigh in on my life. And that could potentially be inauthentic authentic to who I am. I can play a clip of it. Sure, where you are getting a raw, authentic answer to how I can be my own Frenemy. All right, so let's play that. I made it to day 20 The Love Yourself Challenge day 20 I'm supposed to upload a video and I took a few notes. So if I looked down, that's why it was really exciting to do the challenge as it's all the training challenges. This one was a lot easier just because it's something that I practice regularly self care, self love. So the the only thing is, I had a few challenging days. But for the most part, it was an exciting challenge. One of the things that I learned, and I knew but I relearned and was reminded that I do have to be careful putting others before my own. At times, I tend to allow others or the love that I have for others or the desire to help others to trump the love I have for myself and put myself second or third at times or at least you know, tend to their knees well in advance, then I would to my own needs. So that was what I was reminded of. And, you know, I learned that how easily it is for me to completely take myself off the table to cater to and help others. So I have to be careful with that house a nice reminder. How to love myself better. It's tied to that, that first question I think, you know, I can't be quick to discredit myself, my my beliefs, my feelings or my desires because basically of what someone else has to say like that can't matter over what I have to say or what I feel or what I know to be true for me, outside of that person or those persons. I also need to get clear on what I feel like very clear, almost to to be sure of myself before I go out to inquire for someone else's opinion. Because if I'm not clear about what I have, or how I feel where I met in the situation or the thought process, someone else can really throw me off course because So if I get clear, then I can filter through what other people's you know what other what other input on people have. And almost, then I can make better decisions because it's based off of me not. Although getting their opinion or advice can be helpful at times, I realized that I can totally discredit my own decision making process, and just kind of run with what someone else thinks or feels. So I have to be mindful of that. The most challenging day for me was transparency day. Just because of others, I had to openly admit, on video, or I chose to rather openly admit on video that I had battled with depression as growing up, and I guess, you know, putting that I'm sad or hurt or any problems issues. My friends and family, those closest to me tend to push it aside, they don't want me that way. Because they're so used to me being happy, encouraging, bubbly, and positive. So to see me in a state of sadness, or hurt or pain, it's very hard for them to accept and receive, so they tend to just just push my feelings aside and push my experience aside in order to, I guess, feel better, I don't know. But that is something that was challenging for me. But hopefully, I can get used to that, you know, expressing how I experience no matter what anyone else feels or thinks about it. My favorite day was celebration day. And the reason is, because I was so proud of myself, I was very proud of myself for sticking to my commitment to myself. And I didn't really care what anyone else had to say to think about that part of my challenge. So it was a great challenge. I thank you for your time. And I appreciate rehab time for all that you do for us. Thank you, Trent for your hard work and dedication. Yeah, so thanks for the lovely stuff challenge. Looking forward to the next one. All right, thanks, guys. Good tell that that wasn't easy for you. That's the hesitancy, hesitancy turns to repression. Repression turns into this negative core belief play that leads me to be the enemy of my own self. So it's almost like self destructive, a slow process of self destruction where I lose my voice. That's where I become my biggest frenemy I lose my voice. And when I lose my voice then I'm living a life that's not my own. I'm making decisions that are not my own. I am in authentic, there is no self, I have relinquished my power. I have disempowered myself, and that was the point of the Love Yourself Challenge. Day 20. For me, it was two acts. And I think that was a point of some of the challenges throughout the challenge. The days for example, celebrating yourself, you know, and being transparent, being vulnerable. That is me sharing my voice. And despite what others might think or feel about my truth, my sharing of my story, my voice. I cannot hesitate to do that. Because it's giving up my power. My voice is not power. My story is my power. That is the when I become my frenemy by hesitating, and repressing my truth, my voice, my story, my experience my emotions. That is I start to feel powerless, helpless. So let me ask you this. Can you explain a little bit more about how you were able to pivot back to being your ally. And if that included writing and journaling, one of your tools. I think at this time it was it was probably more about voice vocalizing. So this was a, this challenge pulled me out of the journaling about depression, which restored journaling about being depressed to telling out, you know, like sharing with those who may or may not know, many didn't know, they looked at me as if I was lazy. For I remember, as a kid, I would, I would sleep a lot, and I love sleeping. And I still do love sleeping, but it looks like I was lazy. Or as if I was irresponsible, you know, it was a negative. And now that I know myself better, I understand I've become my own ally, how an answer to your question I'm able to pivot is because, again, I go back to my values, I go back to what I value, my value, and why. And that's my shift, because I value myself. Right. And when I'm feeling limiting beliefs, and lack mentality and scarcity mindset, and I'm sending this mixed signals out, giving out my power, relinquishing my control, to others. It's not valuing myself. So the Love Yourself Challenge was a challenge to day 20 days of self focus, self love, self care, he likes to say protecting your peace, being able to protect your peace. Part of that is setting boundaries with others, those boundaries are what I need to remain my ally. So what I would do is, I would set boundaries for myself first, don't go ask their opinion. What do you feel? What do you think, challenging myself to go within first, standing strong in my own decision, and then going out to sea? Especially with an ally, such as yourself, homie, I will come and say, here's where I am in this situation. In this decision, what do you think, based off of what you know about me, my values, my morals, and what I value. And if if you have an ally, they will base their opinion, and their advice and their input on that. You yourself. But in order for them to do that, they would have to know you authentically. And that was what I think the Love Yourself Challenge helped me to do. Verbally, outwardly, expressing myself, not just in journaling, because journaling there's for you, unless you're going to write a book, which I hope to do. But it was it was a challenge to say, This is me. This is my truth. This is my story. And I'm okay with that because I love me. Love yourself. I love me as I am for who I am on my growth journey in my progression. I hope that answered your question. Oh, that day that that definitely answered the question. Thank you for sharing that. I feel like this is why I invited you to speak to my fellow miners or I should say our fellow miners because I knew that you will be open enough to share and that's important with with have a sense of humor too. Because I'm formation confirmation. There we go. We'll say that. So I just want to thank you for being open and vulnerable enough to share the hard things because it's going to help other people with their heart things. And sometimes it's helpful to know that somebody has done the work or they've they've gone before you the work works, your proof and so with that said, these are thank you so much for spending time with me today. I pray that you build your relationship with God. Love yourself unconditionally, and put in the work to mine refine and shine those JEMMS!