All Tricks, No Treats #22 The First Date

Ding Dong! We've missed you, and we've got a lot to catch up on! Some exciting life updates include Champ finishing school, saying goodbye to Whittier, and an unforgettable concert experience seeing The Cure. We also share our thoughts on a recent visit to Villains Brewery in Anaheim - a place with an incredible atmosphere, good food, and beer. So grab a drink and join us for some laughs and life updates!

Navigating the world of first dates can be tricky, but we've got your back! We discuss the delicate art of breaking the ice and share some valuable tips for making a great first impression. You'll also hear about a heartwarming policy at a popular first date spot in Whittier, California, that ensures no one leaves disappointed (Guildhall). And if you're curious about safe words and their significance in relationships, we've got that covered too!

Before we wrap up, we've got some juicy celebrity gossip involving Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, and a scandal with Tom Sandoval and Ariana Maddox. Plus, you'll hear our frustrating tale of a custom song purchase gone wrong and our plans for finding a new theme song. Cheers to being back, and we can't wait to share more with you every Monday!

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Transcript

Cris 0:13

Welcome back to All Tricks, no Treats, the number one relationship slash printing podcast.

Briana 0:21

We've been coming out every four weeks.

Cris 0:25

We've been MIA. We have no excuses, sorry, we just like to tease you. You know We're like, okay, now we're going to do it every week, but then don't. We're liars essentially, but hopefully we'll be back on your Spotify playlist and YouTube channels.

Briana 0:42

Consistent, yeah, consistent. Hopefully we'll be consistent, yay, okay, so bear with us, just because we're getting back into the groove.

Cris 0:49

I'm fucking so nervous.

Briana 0:50

Some of us are a little nervous, We're catching up, Okay. So let's just act like you know. We're talking to our friends because we are Yeah. Okay, so we're catching up. Champ finished school. He had his last day of school.

Cris 1:05

Bittersweet, very bittersweet, because that means we leave Whittier forever. Not forever, but you know.

Briana 1:12

Yeah, our last like pretty big tie to Whittier is done, so we're officially moved out and gone Officially In our new city. In our new city. Yeah, To my bestie Becca Who, by the way, when you listen to this, thank you.

Cris 1:31

She's watching the kids.

Briana 1:32

She's watching the kids right now And I was telling her she was asking me about it and I was just telling her that it just felt like it's been a lot of back and forth for him. And it just felt like when we went and picked him up for his last day of school because that's like a little we're a big tradition family When we picked him up, i just felt like this big sense of relief, like It's done. Like it's, we did it.

Cris 1:57

It was. it was crazy to see because it was a lot, especially for champ, because he was traveling 25, 30 minutes away. He would stay at his grandparents a couple of days out of the week, which was sad for us too. But picking him up you can see he was a little like sad. He wasn't like smiling or we're like, oh, what's up, dude, you're a little sad because you're not coming back, and he was like, yeah, i'm happy he could be honest with us.

Briana 2:24

Like with something like that.

Cris 2:26

But it's. It's sad to go, but yeah.

Briana 2:29

So we, just you know, we validate those feelings and let them know, that that's okay. It's okay to be sad. You know, we get sad too when we have to leave things, but it doesn't mean that we're done with it.

Cris 2:40

One chapter closed and the next one opens.

Briana 2:43

Justin Bobby. But yes, so that's something big that was in our little lives little time frame. Next is we went and saw the cure.

Cris 2:58

The cure still looking good. Not that good, but good, No yeah.

Briana 3:02

Robert Smith's uh, I mean his lipsticks still smears. Amazingly, that herities is still as high as it can go.

Cris 3:09

They still sound pretty good. They sound amazing, yeah, but they're getting up there in age, which is sad.

Briana 3:14

It is sad. They're one of my top three favorite bands, So to be able to see them again.

Cris 3:17

I saw them.

Briana 3:18

The last time I saw them in the Hollywood Bowl I was 17. We just graduated high school.

Cris 3:23

How long ago was that? 15 years ago. 15 years ago, don't remind me. We're going to start looking like them soon.

Briana 3:30

I already do. Um, something else we did is, uh, we went to Villains Brewery.

Cris 3:38

A new brewery in Nihonaheim, california Brewery Brewery. That's so weird, weird.

Briana 3:44

It is a word We're going to start having, like this one Yeah.

Cris 3:49

Well, it had higher end vibes. There was security, and then there was like two security. One was letting people in as people came out, and then another one had like a fucking little mini clipboard.

Briana 4:01

There was like a list, like a guest list.

Cris 4:04

People were walking in and we just didn't like it.

Briana 4:08

We stood in line with our stroller and our three kids.

Cris 4:11

Parking was pretty shitty. Um yeah, But overall it was cool. They have like a clubby vibe kind of.

Briana 4:18

So I had seen it And I think we also went with my aunt, uncle and my cousin and his girlfriend And she is originally the one who's really been wanting to go because it's called Villains and she really likes scary movies, like us. She likes scary movies, like she likes the creepy things in life And um, so she's, you know she really wanted to go and we got there and we were like, oh, i mean, i love the decor, it's beautiful.

Cris 4:46

It's modern.

Briana 4:46

Yes, it's like a kind of like a LA well we were sitting. It's like a LA pool club type vibe.

Cris 4:52

Yeah.

Briana 4:54

Um, i was expecting more, like we were talking about. I was like, oh, maybe like some scary movies could have been playing on screens or something, but it was still. It was still really.

Cris 5:01

It's a cool name. It just didn't really. it doesn't fit the name, I don't think.

Briana 5:04

Yeah.

Cris 5:05

But it's cool Like they have a storage containers as little buildings kind of, with vines everywhere. They had a pool that had a cover and people were sitting on the pool and it's like down. this place is pretty gnarly. So it definitely is a sick place.

Briana 5:20

Yeah, i want to go back for sure, yeah, for sure. Um, something else we've been uh very into our. We always get like stuck on a show. So our show we just finished it last night Actually, drink masters. And since we're talking about drink masters, let's, let's.

Cris 5:35

cheers Cause let's do it. I'm not going to interrupt you like four times to do this, but I'm glad you did that perfect way.

Briana 5:41

I'm a good. I'm a good.

Cris 5:44

Segui Cheers to being back every Monday, hopefully.

Briana 5:49

We didn't say which Monday.

Cris 5:54

Oh man, it's always so crispy, the first drink It is. And gassy, anyway, gassy, gassy.

Briana 6:01

Yeah, that was waiting for you. Um, yeah, we've been watching the show on Netflix called drink masters. It's about these bartenders, who they are. We were talking about it. Like, when we go to a bar, we usually like you just get the old fashioned. I get the tequila sprite, tequila squirt, like we're very simple, but these people are like they're, it's like their craft.

Cris 6:21

Yeah, it's. It's a what's a drink? masters is what it's called, but it's like a chopped version for cocktails. You know what's crazy. Longer times then people.

Briana 6:33

From chopped they get like an hour and a half to make a drink And people in chopped have to cook like meat and they make ice cream and stuff. I just realized that.

Cris 6:41

That's fucking dude. These people are making an hour and a half cocktails. How is that possible? I'd sock you in the head if I would be gone if I ordered that drink and they're like okay, an hour and a half you'll have it. I'd punch her in the face and walk out. Yeah, it's still someone's drink and be like bitch. I ain't waiting an hour and a half, but it was a very good show. It was cool.

Briana 7:02

It was good If you can watch it. you definitely should, because these like it's an art for them.

Cris 7:07

So yeah, they're really into it. They were crying about cocktails. I was like that's crazy.

Briana 7:11

The only time I cried about cocktails are like two in the morning.

Cris 7:16

Two in the morning, we're getting our decisions. Why do we? do this In an alleyway A couple of times I was also drunk. I was spinning and throwing up. I said, God, please, I'll never do this again.

Briana 7:26

Please just take it away. Oh no Feel me. I usually do that the morning after.

Cris 7:33

Oh my God, one time I got so drunk I'm drinking the OG Four Loco and I was barfing in my buddy's house I was living with him at the time and I ended up with no clothes on a blanket he brought me I was naked and Grahams was his grandma. We called her Grahams. She walked in and was like she's like ours, are you okay? And I was like, yeah, i think I just ate some bad food. Clearly it was not bad food.

Briana 7:57

You were trying to hide it from her. Yeah, i was in the nude. Well, i mean, you can't hide the nude, but you were trying to hide that you drank.

Cris 8:05

Yeah, i was a kid, i was 19, 20 years old And I was living at the house. I didn't wonder if there was a bad influence on her son. Puppy Grahams that was a nickname, That's a cute nickname.

Briana 8:17

How cute did she, was that it she just left after?

Cris 8:20

Yeah, she said, oh, okay, And then close the door and left. That was the prime years of my life, parting years, not like in life years, sorry.

Briana 8:31

Anyway, one of my cousins, he said that he went to a I forgot a party or frat party or something, and he said that one of his oh yeah, one of his friends was pledging a frat and he had to, because he was with him, do the same thing as him And they had to drink. I think they drink like they had to drink three, four locos. Three to four, four locos. The hell No yeah, He said at the end of the night they were like dead, dead.

Cris 8:57

Yeah, that had got bad, that's how they were speaking. Yes, they had to get brought back to life. Why is that sentence so hard to say? Wake me up inside.

Briana 9:12

Bring me back to life. That's the name of that song. Save me, evanescence. Yes, imagine you go to like a karaoke place on a first date or something And that's a song you pick and you're doing like both roles. And the person that you're on a date with is like oh, they really went for it.

Cris 9:45

That's a good one.

Briana 9:46

That is Well. Speaking of first dates, I'm doing amazing with our sagus today. Yeah, It's a segue.

Cris 9:54

Okay.

Briana 9:55

I'm doing amazing with our segues today, Speaking of first dates.

Cris 10:04

that's our topic for today.

Briana 10:07

Is that for No?

Cris 10:09

that's rock show.

Briana 10:17

In the car. I just can't wait to pick you up on a very first date. It's a cool live.

Cris 10:31

Oh, is it wrong.

Briana 10:32

Yeah, speaking of Blink, wow, it's like we're seasoned podcast people.

Cris 10:35

By the time this is released, we'll have seen them and I'm like dying. I can't wait. I've been a fan for ever. 10,000 middle school 2002. Let's go.

Briana 10:47

Are you going to scream?

Cris 10:48

A couple songs. I don't know all their songs, i just know a few other songs. Well, a good amount of other songs, but it'll be, fun First date. It's a good topic.

Briana 10:57

Yes, so our first date. You saw it.

Cris 11:02

What.

Briana 11:04

What was our? I know I asked you.

Cris 11:06

I told you earlier.

Briana 11:07

What was our first date?

Cris 11:09

I'd say Barnes and Noble.

Briana 11:10

You said Barnes and Noble, was that not it? No, we were talking about it. And you said Barnes and Noble Well, it wasn't. And we were like, was that really a date? because we weren't really like dating. We just kind of hung out as friends, Like that's when we hooked up. We didn't hook up that day.

Cris 11:25

Not that day, but we were just hook up friends, I think.

Briana 11:28

You were in, you had your own life, like you had a job and everything, and we kind of hung out a little bit, talked a little bit, hung out a little bit. This is before you left to New York. So this is. We just hung out.

Cris 11:40

Okay.

Briana 11:41

But you thought it was Barnes and Noble. That's cute, do you remember it?

Cris 11:46

What we did Barnes and Noble Didn't I buy something.

Briana 11:48

Yeah, you were getting a journal for someone. I mean it could have been for another girl, i don't even know.

Cris 11:53

But I think it might have been.

Briana 11:55

Really I think so.

Cris 11:58

Wow, i don't even know if that's what I bought. I'm just saying, if it was that, i don't know, maybe you know, i don't know I don't think that was our first date.

Briana 12:08

I thought we were just hanging out. Our first date, i think, is when you came back and we started actually talking and you asked you had that show in upland. and you asked me and you were like, hey, do you know where this is You? and then we went and we went to that. We went to Corey His tattoo shop, his tattoo shop.

Cris 12:30

Oh, i went to get the tickets.

Briana 12:32

What is it Downtown upland? What's it called Downtown upland?

Cris 12:34

It's closed. now, i forgot the name.

Briana 12:37

Shit Give me.

Cris 12:39

Okay, so back in the day I used to play music and I got hit up by this venue which I did not know, that you have to sell tickets, and I was like they hit me up, they they like my stuff, they want me to play The wire, the wire It was a wire.

Briana 12:53

It was called the wire.

Cris 12:54

It closed down since, but they hit me up and they're like do you want to play? And I was like, yeah. And then one of my buddies was like you know, you have to sell tickets, right And whatever you don't, you need to pay. And I was like what? No? So they're like Oh, yeah, you have some tickets. And then I want to go pick them up. I think they gave me 25 tickets and I didn't know that many people, but I try to promote it and I sold, i think, 24 out of the 25 and I only sold 24. I really sold maybe like 18 or like 15, and your aunt and uncle bought like fucking 10 tickets and they had like three people. Oh, did they really? Yeah, they bought like three. It was just you, chris Shelley, who else went. That's it right.

Briana 13:41

Yeah.

Cris 13:42

And they bought like 10.

Briana 13:43

I don't remember that And I was like.

Cris 13:44

I was like what the heck? Yes, I don't. Because when I got there, they're like oh you, you'll owe this much at the end And I was like what? I was like fuck, he was right, my buddy was right, so I had to pay back. I had to pay them 10. You had to pay to play pretty much Pretty much And I thought that they like found me and I was like yes, how rude of them.

Briana 14:01

That's every venue.

Cris 14:02

That's pretty much every venue, every little shit hole in the wall. But yeah, i only had to pay 10 bucks and I was like the happiest ever. I was like fuck, that was a success to me, it was so cool Anyway well, that was our first date.

Briana 14:15

We went up on the scope out that place. We stopped by Corey Miller's tattoo shop. We stopped at the ice cream shop right by the tattoo shop And we got like just like a hot dog ice cream. I remember I wish I did And we just hung out. That was our first date.

Cris 14:32

Cute, I'm cute See.

Briana 14:34

I took you, i drove you.

Cris 14:36

Sorry, i didn't have a car at the time. She's got to rip it in I took you.

Briana 14:39

I mean, i don't care, i'll take you anywhere, okay that was a good first date. Yeah, So that was our first date, But also we were, we were just there for one of my friends first dates one of my friends. She went on a date. They met online, And so that's part of like why we're talking about this.

Briana 14:59

Oh yeah, She just went on a first date, and so that's you know, kind of like, why we're bringing this up. Like it was online. We were there, we weren't there the whole time. It's not like we met up with them. We sat there with her, but we were in the same place.

Cris 15:17

I was confused. Just part of, like you know it was a coincidence that we were at the same place.

Briana 15:23

We were all the way in the back. Well, no, actually we were really like the restaurant that they went to, so that's why we were there. But they, we would got there early but they'd happen and be there at the same time as us. But I mean, hey, any friend, I'll be there for your first date. I mean I won't.

Cris 15:41

Yeah, i was kind of confused at what you were saying, but we were actually, coincidentally, at the same spot as her best friend.

Briana 15:47

Yes, and you know what?

Cris 15:48

First date and we're just it was cool.

Briana 15:52

Yeah, i'll you know, and I was partially there as, like you know, security, like I even told her like, hey, if anything's wrong, if you need, if you need to like talk, like I went and talked to her before I said I'm in the back, just text me bathroom or something. Walk to the bathroom. I'll walk to the bathroom with you.

Cris 16:11

Again, coincidentally one of the bathroom at the same time.

Briana 16:13

I really had a pee. I really had a pee.

Cris 16:16

Yeah, she did too Yeah.

Briana 16:19

So, you know we were there for that first date, So that was fun.

Cris 16:23

That was the first time we've done that.

Briana 16:26

That was the first time we've ever done that Yeah.

Cris 16:28

And last time Maybe.

Briana 16:30

I'll go on a first date with any of my friends.

Cris 16:32

Who knows?

Briana 16:33

Um, so I was thinking, if you're in a first date, like, what do you do to break the ice?

Cris 16:41

First dates are so awkward.

Briana 16:43

They are very awkward.

Cris 16:44

If it's someone you don't really know, especially if you meet someone online or like, meet someone randomly, and you get their info and you want to go hang out on a first date. You don't really know them that much and you have to ask the awkward questions and try to figure them out, see if you're really like, and then sometimes you don't even know if you liked them on the first date. Um, but ice breakers, i don't know. I mean, i'm probably like one of the funniest guys ever, so it's easy for me.

Briana 17:15

You just bring your own ice picks to break that ice.

Cris 17:19

You just come hauling it in ice Breakers, not in my vocabulary, i'm just kidding.

Briana 17:25

You're the um. What's his when he goes freeze from Batman? I know It's what you're thinking.

First Date Tips and Etiquette

Cris 17:31

Yes, Dude that guy that guy's icy Um ice breakers. I don't fucking know. I take a couple shots so you can loosen up a little bit. Yeah, cause it's so tense, right, if you're going on a first date with someone you don't know, it's kind of like, oh, this is weird, yeah, and what questions?

Briana 17:48

do you ask?

Cris 17:50

I haven't hung out with someone on a first date in a long time. Yeah, you haven't. Um, are you going to?

Briana 17:53

be like this, though People are going to think you're crazy. What do you mean? you haven't, we've been together for 10 years Getting a little crazy, to be honest. We've been together for 10 years. What do you mean?

Cris 18:05

But uh yeah, have you been on any awkward first dates? I don't think so. No, i think ice breakers is uh getting drinks and uh getting drinks, and.

Briana 18:16

I think it's different, like it depends like what age you are and stuff.

Cris 18:20

Sure.

Briana 18:21

Like I've been on a first date in high school where it was so awkward Like you. you know, you are like, uh, i don't know some guy. So, these are some questions that you can ask on the first date to break the ice. Okay, Given the choice of anyone in the world who would you want as a dinner guest?

Cris 18:39

Never ask that.

Briana 18:41

I obviously, but you know, you can kind of like tailor it to your like. I would be like Hey, if you, if you could have dinner with three people, who would it be Dead or alive?

Cris 18:54

Yeah, that's.

Briana 18:55

See, and that gets you thinking.

Cris 18:59

Yeah, yeah, i think I would spin it to some funny questions. Maybe that'll be good.

Briana 19:05

Yeah, next one. What's your most treasured memory? I've asked you that before, like what are some of your best memories from childhood?

Cris 19:13

Four years in. I don't think it's a first date question.

Briana 19:16

Yeah, I feel like that's probably more for a little more serious.

Cris 19:19

A little more serious, that's true.

Briana 19:21

What would make a perfect day for you.

Cris 19:24

That's a good one. These are all little cheesy, but.

Briana 19:27

But you need cheesy for a first date to really truly get to know someone.

Cris 19:30

First dates are so cheesy. What do you like to do? What's your favorite food?

Briana 19:35

What's your favorite food? I love that one Yeah.

Cris 19:38

It has to be everything or I'm like Max, never mind.

Briana 19:40

You want a girl to say everything?

Cris 19:41

Yeah, To make it easy, you know. But so when you say what do you want to eat, She knows what she wants to eat.

Briana 19:49

Sorry, ok, so now we have some tips to prep for the first date. Choosing the place.

Cris 19:59

Choosing the place beforehand. How do you choose? No ifs, ands or buts?

Briana 20:06

You don't want to have buts on the first date.

Cris 20:08

You know how you choose Men. You choose. You choose the date Because you're going to get the scene in the notebook when Ryan Gosling's Charlie and Rachel, Charlie and Rachel. What do you want? What do you?

Briana 20:21

want. It's not that simple. That is my favorite. He is like Emotions. It's like heartfelt. What do you want?

Cris 20:32

Damn, you're in the wrong field. You need to switch from stay home to actress. I mean.

Briana 20:39

Let's go baby. Call me Hollywood, let's go baby.

Cris 20:44

You don't choose Men, you choose. You don't say what do you want to eat Or what do you like This or that. You choose a place. Maybe it has to have a big menu, So there's variety And you just go.

Briana 20:58

Make sure it's sick though. Yeah, imagine you choose Boiling Crab and then you show up and the person's like I have a shellfish allergy.

Cris 21:08

It's like on a long came Polly. He's allergic to Indian food, spicy food, and he's like blowing the rest of the world. And he doesn't say nothing.

Briana 21:19

What am I thinking of? There was one where they went on a date and then They're telling about Mary And his eyes are like slits, like his face swells up so much on the date.

Cris 21:30

That sounds weird.

Briana 21:31

I don't know That was some sort of movie, sorry guys, but yeah. Well, my friend who just went on the first date she chose a restaurant because she knew that where they were going they had games, which is perfect because You could focus on the game, not that. It keeps the conversation going. You don't have a lull in your conversation.

Cris 21:55

Yeah, you don't have dead ends. That's a good one.

Briana 21:58

You're not like your hands on the table fidgety. You could hold cards, You could hold a little piece. You could move stuff around. I feel like that's a very good detail to keep in mind.

Cris 22:12

A tip for guys is to offer the choice to the women one time, one only. And if they don't say a place, then you say, ok, i'll figure it out, don't worry about it. And then you should choose a place, just choose it. I agree with that, yeah.

Briana 22:27

Yeah, don't make her try to keep guessing Like, oh what? This place, this place, that's good. Yeah, i like that tip. Well, she chose this restaurant And then actually come to find out at the end of their date One of the waiters was talking to them. The restaurant she chose is actually one of the top first date places because of the games and stuff.

Briana 22:47

But the best part is that they have this little policy, i guess, where, if someone gets stood up there, someone's there waiting for their date. Their date never shows up. All of the staff by.

Cris 23:02

That person drinks hell Yeah, baby, that's nice This play. we should shot this place off Guildhall, whittier, california. Good have good food, good games, good vibes.

Briana 23:12

Yeah, but if you're there for a first date and your date shows up And it's a little awkward they give you a round of shots like it, like your friend got. Okay, we're gonna do that.

Cris 23:31

That's good. Yeah, you get around a shot.

Briana 23:33

Yeah, you buy around a shot keeps the night going ice breaker.

Cris 23:36

Oh, they say ice breaker, take a couple shots. Nice, i thought I didn't know what I was talking about until that part.

Briana 23:45

You just popped up all of a sudden. But yeah so choosing a place, don't over complicate it. keep it simple, don't make it an all-day thing too. Yeah like don't Try to plan like this and then this and then this, because if it doesn't work out like imagine you have to Like like you're in a city three hours away.

Cris 24:05

Sure. So that's a very good point. Make it quick, make it a good place, because in that short amount of time you'll know if you're into it or not. If you're not into it, you get out of there quick and you both are like oh yes, it's done. If you go through it quick and you both love it, you're like I can't wait to hang out with them again and you plan the next thing boom, boom, boom, faster to get it in boys.

Briana 24:32

I mean, if both parties want have fun, yeah, but if things go well on the first day, you could still like continue it. Yeah, it's spontaneous. You could even be like, oh hey, look, i just saw this bar down the street. I just saw this museum down the street, like we did.

Cris 24:48

What, after guilt, all we went to this time, oh, Yeah, the night going baby, we did a little awkward, but it was fucking tight. Baby, let's go. Keep it going, that's a good one. Keep it going if you feel it, and that's why you keep it short imagine there has been instances, probably In earth, where the day is horrible and one person's like enjoying it. The other person is like I hate this and then like let's go do something else.

Cris 25:25

The go-to is how I have to get home, i have to do, i have to go to sleep, i work tomorrow, i have this, that, but that's just funny thought.

Briana 25:31

Yeah, no, imagine like, how do you get out of that?

Cris 25:34

Yeah, awkward.

Briana 25:36

Hope you survived it Next. Okay, so you're on the first date. Things are going great. You're feeling it Hooking up how far do you go.

Cris 25:54

Hmm, hmm, it's a good one. That is a good one. Again, it's all in the feeling you could tell what type of girl she is right if she's really really into you or she's into you only. It's either one into you or into into you, and if it's the into into you into squared, you're getting it in on the first day. Baby. Yeah, if you're really into each other into squared, i Think it's Fine to do the deed the first time.

Briana 26:24

I think there's a lot of factors, because a million factors, but that's why I said into squared that covers all the factors, but you're so many factors, what do you mean it into? just doesn't cover it.

Cris 26:35

I know into is probably just a kiss on the cheek Quick pack and say, oh, walk you to your door. We should do this again sometime.

Briana 26:42

You think two and twos is just getting it in yes. I don't know like I have friends like they're. They're like the whole spectrum of I.

Cris 26:52

Think two and twos is on the day. You're all over each other holding hands already, like flirting, body flirting, not just like talking flirting.

Briana 27:02

That's the thing, though to like how close you get like, even just like your knees touch, like yeah, knees touch like a hand touch 100% of the hand touches. Always do is just touch your hand not just touch the hand.

Cris 27:16

I think you may like touch my crotch region.

Briana 27:20

Your hand is your crotch.

Cris 27:25

Super proud when he says when she says This guy, try back with scratchers, he's like. the funny thing is, my back is no kidding, i'm like. I think more physical during the day, like you think you might be able to get in or slip the fingers.

Briana 27:49

I'm just saying that's real life. That's real life. I feel like there's a bunch of Factors. So like your age, for one, yes. Like if you're younger, you might. You might be a little more reserved.

Cris 28:07

You might not be able to like you know you might not be able to agree with what you're saying. I don't agree with that. You don't have to, okay, hey, do you think what else?

Briana 28:17

Familiarity, like do you feel like you're familiar with this person, like how long have you been talking to each other?

Cris 28:22

Yeah, that one I agree with okay, thanks.

Briana 28:26

Drinks Have you had a few drinks? if you've had a few drinks, you might be, a little more like.

Cris 28:32

Hey, what do you see?

Briana 28:33

goose you might be ready to go, Yeah you know the saying. How does it go? The goose is the goose.

Cris 28:44

The goose is loose. What's?

Briana 28:46

good for the goose.

Cris 28:50

What is it? What is it? The alcohol makes you tell the truth, or something? Oh no, oh no, i know that's not it. I know that's not it, but what is it? You know what it is drunk thoughts are sober words something like that Yes, yes, what are you doing? That's what I meant to say, you know.

Briana 29:21

Close. Yeah, you were real close.

Cris 29:25

Okay, next.

Briana 29:27

Yeah, so this factors that go into it, but Would you hook up on the first date?

Cris 29:33

It depends, if it was, if all the, the factors, all the factors were there. All the boxes were checked, if I jerked off before the date.

Briana 29:43

How far would you go? You would go all the way.

Cris 29:47

It feels good, why not you wouldn't? I don't know you would Like your stupid face I mean, yeah, i probably would, Yeah, why not?

Briana 29:54

Yeah, yeah, why not?

Cris 29:55

Yeah, I mean, yeah, I would. That'd be the best 30 seconds of their life. What I tell you all the time Agreed, i probably would too, yeah. Damn, just chill out.

Briana 30:13

What do you mean?

Cris 30:14

I'm just agreeing with you All of a sudden, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, don't doubt, crack addict.

Briana 30:22

Let me give my picks. Okay, okay, dark night, i didn't get a good Sikyu, but So now let's ask some men.

Cris 30:32

The men The men Of. Reddit, reddit, reddit.

Briana 30:46

Have you ever had a safe word during sex? If so, what was it? Orange, the color, not the fruit.

Cris 30:57

I thought you were asking me about the answer I mean. Well, you are a man, orange the color, not the fruit Red, yellow, green.

Briana 31:05

Stop, use caution, but proceed. Oh, yes, is green? Yeah.

Cris 31:10

I follow martial arts rules.

Briana 31:20

You either tap out with a hand or you say the words tap, tap.

Cris 31:24

Jesus.

Briana 31:25

I like having the hand tap out option in case someone's mouth is, let's say, unavailable. Oh, flugging, it's F, l, u, g, g, a, e, n, k, o, e, c, c, h, i, c, e, b, o L.

Cris 31:46

S E N.

Briana 31:47

That's their safe word. I hate them. That's it Why. That's ridiculous. That's the point. You can't say it, so you don't have a safe word.

Cris 31:57

If they were like flakish, i'd be like hell. yeah, they love this shit, they're into it. They can't even speak English.

Briana 32:10

Ice cream. We all scream for ice cream.

Cris 32:15

I hate that person too.

Briana 32:20

Let's see Safe word.

Cris 32:24

Safe word Safe word, safe word Safe word.

Briana 32:26

Why make it complicated?

Cris 32:30

That's it.

Briana 32:30

That's why I'm thirsty. for us means stop what you're doing. I'm thirsty.

Cris 32:37

Those are the words I'm thirsty.

Briana 32:38

Yeah, we like it, because sometimes we are literally just thirsty for some water.

Cris 32:43

Oh, Jesus, sorry, i mean they go on the marathon run. They don't. They're parched. We sprint. They need their electrolytes. We sprint after we're. Like man, i drink too much.

Briana 33:02

Oh no. So what would your safe word be?

Cris 33:07

Mine is I'm gonna come stop.

Briana 33:13

That's his sentence. You have a safe sentence.

Cris 33:18

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Mine is aw man, because I'm done already.

Briana 33:35

I want you to feel safe.

Cris 33:37

Definitely feel safe. What's your safe word?

Briana 33:42

Neapolitan.

Cris 33:44

Cosmopolitan.

Briana 33:46

Sorry, carrie Bradshaw.

Cris 33:47

Carrie Bradshaw.

Briana 33:49

Carrie Bradshaw.

Cris 33:51

All right.

Briana 33:51

Neapolitan Neapolitan.

Cris 33:52

Just because you're thinking about pizza, probably I'm thinking about ice cream right now.

Briana 33:58

That's it. Yeah, i mean, i don't know.

Cris 34:02

I mean. Safe words work for some people, i guess.

Briana 34:04

But No, some people need safe words. but so I think, if you have, if you need to make a safe word, making a safe word out of something that is not so common, obviously, because you're not going to be like, oh, my safe word is I'm tired, tired.

Cris 34:19

I'm more into a safe word. When it's not dealing with the bedroom, like if you're out somewhere and you don't want to, you say a safe word.

Briana 34:27

Like when we got what the kids are safe word is.

Cris 34:30

I'm going to kill myself. Time to go home.

Briana 34:35

We just went to David Buster's with all three kids.

Cris 34:38

Jesus, that was a nightmare.

Briana 34:40

Yeah, that was our safe word. That's when we needed our safe word.

Cris 34:43

We actually have a road trip coming up and we're taking the kids, and me and brown, i keep saying how we're excited about it because we're going to Seattle, we're flying to Seattle, then we're driving to Portland, to Utah, to Vegas, and we keep saying, man, we can't wait to go. And as time goes closer, we're like when you go on a vacation with your kids. Like we said before, it's not for you, it's for them, you're gonna for them will probably be like, not on talking terms, by the time we go to.

Briana 35:12

You might get the next episode like three weeks after that one. And it'll be like this is the end of the podcast.

Cris 35:22

The finale.

Briana 35:23

Sorry guys.

Cris 35:25

It's like those breakup videos were breaking up.

Briana 35:28

We done had enough. It's just too much.

Cris 35:31

Safe word out in the community is better than in the bed, i think.

Briana 35:36

I like it. Yeah, actually we should make a safe word. We should make a safe word when we're out with each other, like and the kids are, you know, being kids and look at each other. I mean I feel like we already have that like where you look at each other, you have that look, maybe a word where we could just say a word and be like okay, yeah, i'm ready to go too.

Cris 35:58

Yeah, good one, yeah Good job.

Briana 36:01

Okay, last is our Hot goss.

Cris 36:08

What's the gossip? We love the gossip.

Briana 36:11

We love the goss. We love the goss. Al Pacino, 82, is expecting a baby with his 29-year-old girlfriend, while Robert De Niro is also having his seven child.

Cris 36:27

Jesus.

Briana 36:28

I mean, let's not judge. Wait, let's work this out first.

Cris 36:35

What's the first? Al Pacino. How old is he? He's 82. He's 82. How old is the lady?

Briana 36:43

29. 29. Oh remember, I just told you that too 53-year difference No but Al Pacino has. I think Al Pacino has a 33-year-old daughter 33?

Cris 36:55

Can you say 33?

Briana 36:56

33., 33., 33. 33. There you go, your old daughter. That's our age. But imagine you're the daughter.

Cris 37:06

I could be his daughter.

Briana 37:08

You'd be his daughter And your stepmom is older than you.

Cris 37:12

Younger than you.

Briana 37:13

Oh yeah, younger than you, Are you okay?

Cris 37:16

There's too many tequila shots there. No wonder you weren't nervous. I was more nervous. I hate you, Dude. 53-year. When he was 53 years old, She was born. She was born. That's fucking wild. I know, That is so crazy. I don't even know what to say about it. How does his dick work still? How old is he? Ew?

Briana 37:39

he's 82.

Cris 37:40

82? Still fucking, i want to be dead by 62. Hi, damn, that's crazy. Well, keep on rocking on.

Briana 37:50

They had a baby, i mean.

Cris 37:54

Is it his baby? Is it Who knows?

Briana 37:59

I mean, they know What if they're liking the committed relationship.

Cris 38:03

Jesus. I'm surprised there's not uproar about that shit, but Maybe because he's a good actor.

Briana 38:08

What I read is that Robert DeNiro, he wanted a paternity test for his baby.

Cris 38:14

Good That guy's probably broke because of his. I think I said I heard something He had a voicemail or some shit. Our phone call recorded with his wife and saying that's why he has to make all these shooting movies, because she spends all his money.

Briana 38:29

Yeah, that was true, that it was it. It's a new girl. This is a new girl.

Cris 38:33

Oh, okay, but seven kids, holy fuck, are you broke Seven?

Briana 38:37

kids. No wonder you're still acting. I mean, but why is Nick Cannon Nick Cannon's fine?

Cris 38:43

It's not fine. No, he's fine.

Briana 38:45

I see so many.

Cris 38:47

I see so many like memes and stuff about Nick Cannon. It's crazy. It's crazy because I was friends with one of the girls he has twins with and it's weird. It's crazy. Anyway, I don't even know what to say about it. Well, he has a lot of kids. It looks like he takes care of them, which is good, but yeah, it's crazy to have like 10 brothers and sisters, though.

Briana 39:16

If they see each other.

Cris 39:18

Yeah, anyway, that's wild. Well, the thing is.

Briana 39:21

I mean, hopefully they're happy, hopefully they're good, you know. You know they're well taken care of, though, but yeah, hopefully they're happy. Our last one is Scandival. See, I'm not, I'm not.

Cris 39:33

I don't even know what that is.

Briana 39:34

I know I didn't either. I'm not a part of this, i don't know anything about this, but we're talking about it. Yes, we are because it's a big, it's been a big thing. I've seen a lot of it. So I guess this is show called Vanderpump, vanderpump rules, and it's this guy, tom Sandoval, and he's been with this girl, ariana Maddox, for about 10 years.

Cris 39:57

It's a long time like us.

Briana 39:59

Yeah, they've been together for about 10 years and it just came out. I don't know, just came out. I don't know how it found out, whatever, but it just came out that he was cheating on her with her best friend her best friend And I was talking to Becca about this and she said that it was found out. What did it say? Um, it was around the time that his girlfriend, ariana's dog died. So the girl, raquel, who he cheated with, was consoling Ariana the one who was cheated on about the dog dying, while while she was hooking up With her boyfriend of 10 years.

Cris 40:46

She was consoling both of them. Oh no.

Briana 40:51

Okay, okay.

Cris 40:53

That's. that's fucked up. That's crazy, it's horrible.

Briana 40:56

And I've seen a lot of things about this Like I haven't seen anything I've seen? so many things, probably because I'm like, because you click on all the videos, so it's like this is what you want to watch.

Cris 41:06

That's crazy.

Briana 41:07

It's so sad.

Cris 41:09

But that's, i mean those actors they're not actors. Isn't that a movie? They were in the movie or something. No, they were in Van der Pump bills or whatever it's called.

Briana 41:21

Van der Pump, is it Biles? Aren't those all actors? No, that's a. it was like a Bravo show, so it's like reality Fuck all them, all those weirdos. I mean, that's still sad.

Custom Theme Song Scandal

Cris 41:34

It's someone's life, it's someone's life. That's sad, yeah, super sad. You're so sad, i'm so sad. I don't care about that one, Anyway. Well, one last thing before we go Our theme song that I paid over $200 for.

Briana 41:55

Wait what?

Cris 41:56

Oh? This guy on some stupid app that you could buy music from. It says custom song, whatever. Whatever. I was on like I don't know, instagram or something, tiktok, and it was like a home improvement. Tiktok and Brianna was like looked at me quick And I was like, fuck, what did I look at? I need something bad. I was like tripping out and then you're like, was that our song? And I go back to the video. It's our fucking intro of our podcast that I paid this guy over $200 for. And I messaged this fucking guy and he says, oh, i don't say anything about custom songs, even though the fucking picture of his thing it says custom intro and outro. He worded it, so it's a custom animation. You know that animation from the intro It says all tricks and the truth with Chris Garza and Brianna. It's an art Where it like kind of moves. Yeah, that's what it is.

Cris 42:57

And I said, I said, I said you're a bitch dude. I'm going to freaking kill you when I see you. So our song is not even an original song and we're going to change it now. I'm fucking so irritated about it.

Briana 43:08

I didn't even know that. You didn't tell me that. I just remember sitting in the car and be like Hey, that's our song.

Cris 43:13

Anyway, I'm damn. He's probably from fucking Bangladesh or some shit, but I hate her song now We'll have to find a new one.

Briana 43:22

Yeah, I hate it.

Cris 43:23

He added the doorbell and the closing. Oh, that was his Custom customization.

Briana 43:29

Fucking dickhead Anyway well, we'll be on the hunt for a new song, but also we're glad to be back, yeah.

Cris 43:37

We appreciate all of you and we'll leave you on that, so we'll catch you on the flip flop later.