Ding Dong! Ever wondered about the secret life of a modern family navigating crafts, dim sum, and ear piercings? We're taking you with us on our latest adventures: from monthly visits to Home Depot for craft time with our kids, to a fascinating trip to Chinatown. We even stumble upon a comical video of cultural appropriation that has us in stitches.
Are you struggling to understand the murky world of "situation ships"? Let's break it down together. We share personal experiences of being caught in these ambiguous relationships, diving into the necessity of setting boundaries and being honest about your feelings. We're offering no-nonsense advice on how to navigate situation ships, and important signs to look out for. Are you in one? Should you be in one? Let's figure it out together.
Finally, we're getting real about the underrated importance of physical affection in relationships. Often overlooked, especially for men, physical affection can be a powerful expression of love and care, and even a primary love language. We're reflecting on our experiences and how we've learned to value this aspect of our relationships. Plus, we touch on Jonah Hill's controlling relationship "expectations" - because sometimes, Hollywood doesn't even get it right. Also, a good time at the MGK Spain performance. Join us for these explorations and more on this week's episode of All Tricks, No Treats!
Need advice!? Voicemail or text! - (562) 457-0613 It's anonymous!
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Ding Dong! Ever wondered about the secret life of a modern family navigating crafts, dim sum, and ear piercings? We're taking you with us on our latest adventures: from monthly visits to Home Depot for craft time with our kids, to a fascinating trip to Chinatown. We even stumble upon a comical video of cultural appropriation that has us in stitches.
Are you struggling to understand the murky world of "situation ships"? Let's break it down together. We share personal experiences of being caught in these ambiguous relationships, diving into the necessity of setting boundaries and being honest about your feelings. We're offering no-nonsense advice on how to navigate situation ships, and important signs to look out for. Are you in one? Should you be in one? Let's figure it out together.
Finally, we're getting real about the underrated importance of physical affection in relationships. Often overlooked, especially for men, physical affection can be a powerful expression of love and care, and even a primary love language. We're reflecting on our experiences and how we've learned to value this aspect of our relationships. Plus, we touch on Jonah Hill's controlling relationship "expectations" - because sometimes, Hollywood doesn't even get it right. Also, a good time at the MGK Spain performance. Join us for these explorations and more on this week's episode of All Tricks, No Treats!
Need advice!? Voicemail or text! - (562) 457-0613 It's anonymous!
↓↓↓ Listen to us on ↓↓↓
► All Platforms - https://www.flowcode.com/page/tricks_treats
► Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/55eOJtCOyhvZKk8Ujcdmfm
► Apple Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/all-tricks-no-treats/id1612209561
► Google Podcast - https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5idXp6c3Byb3V0LmNvbS8xOTQ0NzI1LnJzcw==
↓↓↓ Buys us a coffee. Or BUD ICE ↓↓↓
► https://www.buymeacoffee.com/tricksnotreats
↓↓↓ Follow us on social media ↓↓↓
► Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/tricks_no_treats/
► TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@tricksnotreats
► Cris' Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCchtRfG4GvralMCa8y7EBSg
Hello and welcome back to All Tricks, no treats, three weeks I'm going to say every time. Three weeks in a row.
Speaker 2:We're back One day. we're like week 283. We're back.
Speaker 1:We're here to give you our knowledge.
Speaker 2:Pew, pew, pew. I'm just kidding. Yeah, so it's been a week. A week feels like you know not too long, but there's, you know.
Speaker 1:When we stay on track it feels like a week isn't that long, Like it's shit We need to fucking do this again.
Speaker 2:What have we done? We need to do this again. Commitment No. And the past week we've done Home Depot.
Speaker 1:Our second time going to Home Depot, taking the kids.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so every first Saturday of Home Depot. it used to be every Saturday because I remember my grandpa taking me and my cousin and we had our own little aprons He would take us. but every first Saturday of the month Home Depot hosts like a little crafty time for the kids. So if you're ever looking for something to do for your kids, you can sign up on HomeDepotcom.
Speaker 1:Get your bratty spoiled kids to do some hands on things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, i mean they go and they do like a craft. It's something new every month, but it's super cool to see them like hammer screwdriver. Obviously, you know like Bobby and Mr Nichols need help holding a screwdriver, or you know hammering in the right place.
Speaker 1:The fun part for them is painting Oh they love painting At the end.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And it's everywhere and I try not to get that mad.
Speaker 2:but I feel like that's, that's like a parent's thing, like we go and we're building it, we're all sweating. It was holding the screwdriver. Every single parent is like trying to do the best, like just trying to put it together while trying to like work with their kid, but ultimately we end up doing it, and then the kids at the end were with the paintbrush like blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 1:There's like five colors on a plate and I'm always like, Oh, try to paint it nice. And then eventually it turns into a gray that they just mix all of it together and they for some reason put their hands in it and just it's crazy. I'm like, ah, whatever.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like the same pale grade. Yeah, pale gray.
Speaker 1:So they've. they've done two projects and both of them are the same gray color. They're all the same, but it's good. It's good for them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's fun, so we did that. And then also um Bobby got her ears pierced. I think like a year ago maybe almost a year ago like a year ago And it kind of like healed weird. Like it popped out and um, sometimes it like is healing a little weird, i don't even know what to say.
Speaker 1:Like it's like it just gets a little like pussy at the in the back, yeah, and so it doesn't hurt her really though.
Speaker 2:No, there's never any pain or anything, it just, you know, it's just kind of like angry, it's a little bit of an angry piercing And so, um, this week she was like Oh, my ear. And so we just kind of looked at it and it had a little bit of pus and we're like Oh, what's going on?
Speaker 1:I said, uh, Dr Chris will take care of this.
Speaker 2:And you took to your phone and you wanted to look up a pussy ear.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but pussy is not.
Speaker 2:You said. You said you said wait, how do you spell pussy?
Speaker 1:I said how do you clean a pussy ears?
Speaker 2:You said a pussy ear, but your phone probably well, your phone.
Speaker 1:I thought I typed how do you clean a pussy ear? And then I was like wait, that sentence doesn't look that right. And I told Brianna how do you spell pussies?
Speaker 2:And what came up? Pussy. So we figured it out ourselves.
Speaker 1:No, thanks to you, uh, google MD, it's okay.
Speaker 2:Dr Chris, thanks. And lastly, we went to Chinatown.
Speaker 1:Chinatown. I want to be ninja, okay.
Speaker 2:Have you seen that video?
Speaker 1:No, It's this white lady who's doing like a fun fundraiser for famous people now rich people And she starts singing a song in a Chinese accent and everyone's like that is the most racist thing I've ever seen. I need to show you real quick. And while she's singing this, there's like an Asian lady right in the front and she's making like a weird face. It's fucking incredible.
Speaker 2:Because it's offensive.
Speaker 1:Yes, is this like?
Speaker 2:crazy. Why is she trying so?
Speaker 1:hard. I have no idea. She's like fucking doing her ninja hands and oh my god.
Speaker 2:No, but she's like running around the room. Yeah, it was wild.
Speaker 1:That's an old video, but I felt like you needed to see a clip to know what I was talking about. Okay, thank you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, sorry, i'm trying to tell them because we saw this place. We both saw different videos.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I saw mine like in June.
Speaker 2:Oh god, here comes the competition. And then Brianna is like there's this dumpling place.
Speaker 1:It's called Dongkok.
Speaker 2:It's called.
Speaker 1:What's it called? Wangkok, wangkok? And I was like wait, i think I know what that place is. And I showed her a picture and it was the same spot but a different video, because we've been wanting dumplings for a really long time and we haven't found a place. That's like ridiculously good and we're like let's go, let's take the kids. So, yeah, we ended up going.
Speaker 2:We wanted to give them an authentic dim sum experience And also I feel like it was kind of a. It was like a little cultural lesson for them too, which was pretty cool, like we got to talk about different cultures, eat this Sometimes things are different for us and what we do not sit because, you know kids our kids, they say whatever they want. So we had conversations about, like you know, sometimes we, to be polite, we have to say things in a different way, and you know.
Speaker 1:I don't say it at all.
Speaker 2:So we just learned about culture and eat some dim sum and it was fun.
Speaker 1:So our plan was like to get a few different types of dumplings. And what are those?
Speaker 2:Oh, pork, like buns, kind of like pork buns, steamed buns, baked buns, all the buns.
Speaker 1:And when we got to the front of the line I said, damn, i need all of it.
Speaker 2:I know We do that every time.
Speaker 1:So we got like 30 dumplings for I don't know why. She gave me four pieces of cake. I asked for two and she gave me four big ass pieces and then two rice cakes and two chicken rice and it was way too much. We walked like six blocks to.
Speaker 2:No, we didn't walk that far. Six blocks.
Speaker 1:Maybe four blocks or three blocks.
Speaker 2:Two blocks Next door.
Speaker 1:So we finally found a place and we ended up by Ulvera Street, which was nice because we were going to take the kids there after And I was kind of disappointed in the dumb things. I don't know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you weren't having it.
Speaker 1:The first bite I was like oh man, this is so good. I think I was just like really hungry And then the more I ate, the more I was like I kind of regret this. I don't know why. The meat was just kind of weird.
Speaker 2:I told you that It wasn't weird. It just wasn't to our liking. It wasn't what we were used to. I have a thing with meat discoloration. There's like any sort of redness, purple-ness, pink-ness. That chicken was a weird thing.
Speaker 1:It looked like the gray that the kids use at the Home Depot painting those things.
Speaker 2:I'm sure it's delicious to other people.
Speaker 1:And we bring up saying things in the right way, because Champa was like it stinks.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we were walking because, like, can we leave It stinks?
Speaker 1:And I was like oh no, oh no Because the chicken rice was wrapped in some type of leaf I think it was banana leaf, Banana leaf, Yeah, and the banana leaf smelled pretty gnarly. It was like hot and steamy And it was like when you open the bag it was like, well, and he was like that stinks, Oh man, And we didn't end up eating that.
Speaker 2:No we didn't, but you know, we tried different things and it was a good cultural experience for us For sure, yay, so, yeah. So that's been our week, and now we're drinking. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because we're forgetting.
Speaker 2:We're drinking to those buns, man. If anyone knows like another dim sum place? I know there's that ding-fung dim. I don't know, i think it's a. Chaolengbao, that's the bun. That's the actual bun Dim sum place. We'd love to try it, so let us know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, let us know. Thanks, Cheers, cheers. These are huge, that's what she said.
Speaker 2:That's what you never said. You're so good. Okay, so our topic for today is situations. Was I supposed to sing that with you? No, I just didn't know how to make that to a song.
Speaker 1:It's a long Situation ships The long thing. If you don't know what that is you're about to know.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, So we had some polls. I like doing this, So we had some polls, and I really like doing polls because I like to see you know what everyone knows how we're all doing. On the same aspect, And our question was do you know what a situation ship is?
Speaker 2:Good question 50% said duh, 33% said no, was that a rapper? And 17% said yes, and I'm in one Help, damn the big help, the big help. And our next question is have you been or are you in a situation? ship 14% yes Said yes, i love it. So they love their situation. Ship 36% said yes, i said help with a crying face. And 50% said no, isn't he a wrestler?
Speaker 1:Cause they don't know what it is.
Speaker 2:Yeah, cause they still don't know what a situation ship is, and our last thing was to have anyone send us their situation, ship stories or tips. Okay, so we actually got a few. Someone said it's a catch 22 biting me in the ass and they put a crying face.
Speaker 1:It's hard.
Speaker 2:It's hard, it's hard out there. It is, it's hard, it's hard A catch 22. So maybe they like started out being into it. I don't know, but they said it's biting them in the ass.
Speaker 1:So that's common.
Speaker 2:Unfortunately, they're like seeing the negative aspects of it right now.
Speaker 1:I think they were into it, and then they're getting to a point where they wanted to be more and that's why they're like help me please.
Speaker 2:The next one is I'm in a few. I'm at a point in my life where I'm successful Good for you, mid 30s and want to have fun. Some of the girls feel the same and somewhat more, but when it comes to that time, i'm straight up. Well, my first thing is good for you for being straight up with them. That's the biggest thing of a situation ship, i feel like.
Speaker 1:I got has it planned out. I got knows what he's doing. What did you write this?
Speaker 2:You're like so proud for that.
Speaker 1:Well, he's not like an asshole and just like leaving them on red or not talking to them or whatever.
Speaker 2:That's what I'm saying. when it comes to that time, i'm straight up.
Speaker 1:So nice, that's what it should be.
Speaker 2:Have your fun. Yeah, set your rules whatever you want.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Good for you. Someone said WTF is this? LOL in all caps.
Speaker 1:Who said that Wow? Because you're an old part.
Speaker 2:They probably think it's like a cruise ship. The situation ship Next one is keep your feelings out of it, know your place, stay in your lane. It is what it is.
Speaker 1:That's straight up. That's what a situation ship is. You can't get feelings mixed in or you'll get like that person is not working out for them.
Speaker 2:That's some sound advice. That's like you know easier said than done, but if that's your advice, i feel like you got it.
Speaker 1:You've been in love with you.
Speaker 2:Good for you. Last one, i was in a couple and they ended not feeling the same. I was sad at the time but ended up with my soulmate and couldn't be happier. They ended up bad and I'm happy about it with a crying, laughing face.
Speaker 1:Damn. Revenge is sweet brother, hey, sometimes it doesn't work out, and then you end up with the person that you want to be with, and then, hey, things didn't work out for the other parties, which is good for that guy.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, I'm happy that they're happy, but also, you know, I never wish it will towards anyone else.
Speaker 1:Speak for yourself.
Speaker 2:I will, but yeah, that's it. Thanks everyone.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we appreciate you guys for writing in.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for answering our little polls. So are we ready to know what a situation ship is?
Speaker 1:Let's hear it. Okay. Let's educate the people, okay.
Speaker 2:A romantic or sexual relationship that is not considered to be formal or established. So give me, essentially it's something that's undefined. There's like it's like a great area of knowing. There's something more like more than friendship. Like you know, you guys kind of have like an attraction, some chemistry, but there's still no commitment or relationship established.
Speaker 1:No label, essentially What I get out of it.
Speaker 2:I kind of when I was like looking up, looking it up, i was thinking because you know, we're from a different time than the youngsters these days. So I was thinking like, is it like friends with benefits or is it like talking? Remember, everyone would be like, oh, we're talking. It's kind of like talking right.
Speaker 1:I think it's friends with benefits.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't think talking is at a level where it's or you could get feeling so easy talking you're just talking to the person. I mean sure you could like them or something, but when you're intimate with someone that's like a next level thing. So that's more gray area than just talking to someone. You could be talking to everyone.
Speaker 2:You don't think talking has like physical intimacy?
Speaker 1:Not all the time. I mean, I don't think so.
Speaker 2:So it can be temporary, like you've gone on a few dates with someone and it's still too early to discuss your relationship status, you know, when you're still trying to fill it out, like, just hang out a little bit. But it can also be like the definition of a relationship, like you're just playing in a situation.
Speaker 1:I agree.
Speaker 2:Have you ever experienced a situation?
Speaker 1:I have a couple, a few Oh.
Speaker 2:I mean.
Speaker 1:I think, growing up, when I was talking to girls or dating, whatever you want to call it I always felt like I was into them more than they were into me. But I was young and dumb So I was like, well, i'll just keep trying, keep doing this You liked hard. Yeah, and it bit me in the ass every time. I think My heart has a lot of bandages on it.
Speaker 2:Sorry, and you came to sew it up, you sewed it up. I went with my foot and pushed on the pedal.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but it sucks, definitely sucks, to be on the wrong side of a situation ship, but the grass is greener on the other side. You just got to keep trucking, keep moving on. There's more fish in the sea, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, have you. I've been in a situation ship.
Speaker 1:When Who You've got never got you on it, you whore.
Speaker 2:I. It doesn't mean I haven't been in a situation ship. Okay, yeah, so I've been in one Were you sad. I mean, you know, we did what we did, we had our fun, but Did he have a bigger dick than me? Oh God, here come the questions. But you know, things just ended.
Speaker 1:That sucks.
Speaker 2:And that was it. Now move it on.
Speaker 1:For me.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So yeah, i mean it was. It's kind of weird to be in that gray area and to not have like any kind of like knowledge of where it's going, but also I think that's kind of like the fun of it as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Like to be in the moment and spontaneous, and I think it's fun when it's fairly new And then. But when you start getting your emotions into it and you start feeling a certain way and they might not be then it might be like, damn, what is this going to be, What is this going into? But sometimes they might not feel the same.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, that sucks. That's when you gotta, you know, speak up for yourself. Okay, so you have some pros and cons.
Speaker 1:I do Have a situation ship. I did some research, don't look.
Speaker 2:Oh, that hand hid everything. I'm going to try to go through it quick, So pros of a situation ship flexibility. Everyone likes a flexible person.
Speaker 1:Casual and low pressure, which is true, just doing what you got to do and then boning out. Three is emotional connection. What's crazy about a situation ship is that you could be on like a just hookup level, but it's someone that you're into. It might not be someone that you see yourself in the far future, but in the near future, yes. So that's why it could be murky and like great, because you have to have some type of connection.
Speaker 2:I think that's the thing too, like with either person, like even if you're attracted to them, you can have like a little tinge of jealousy. Because you're attracted to them, you want something with them, like whether it's physical, emotional. So you know, you're kind of always looking for something.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and the last one is a learning experience. It can help you understand your needs, your preferences, what you like, where you see yourself in the future. Okay, cons are lack of commitment.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that can be a big issue for a lot of people. Emotional ambiguity ambiguity, ambiguity ambiguity ambiguity ambiguity ambiguity how do you say ambiguity, ambiguity, ambiguity. That was a, that was a skating emotional ambiguity ambiguity, ambiguity ambiguity, you know, over the skating brand. ambiguous, ambiguity, ambiguity, ambiguity emotional ambiguity.
Speaker 1:That's a weird word.
Speaker 2:Say it five times fast.
Speaker 1:Um, uh. Situationships can often like clear expectations and boundaries, making it difficult to know where one stands emotionally. Uh. The third one is potential for unequal investment, which means it can involve people with differing levels of emotional investment.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so one person could be into it and one person can be like, like, like me.
Speaker 1:I like them more than me. We're on different levels, i think.
Speaker 2:I feel. I think, like you know some, there's always going to be someone who wants more or likes a little bit more than the other, and then, once it starts becoming more apparent that the other one doesn't feel, the same way. That's when it gets a little hard.
Speaker 1:And it's like this last one. It limits growth and development. Which could it can stop you from doing something with someone else, or yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:if you meet someone else one night, you could be like oh well, you know, i've got this guy so and so hanging out waiting for me, so I can't do this 100% nice yeah, so those are some pros and cons, so I like your pros and cons.
Speaker 1:Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2:Okay, so here are some signs. You're in a situation ship. Obviously these are not, like you know, all of the signs, not clear cut signs. Like we're not experts, take what we say with the grain assault. So there's been no defined the relationship combo, obviously yes, obvious, it's a big one. You haven't integrated into each other's lives meaningfully, which means you haven't met their family, their friends or colleagues.
Speaker 1:That's a big step yeah meeting someone in there and if you are in one of these, you want to not do this, if you want to stay at that level, i think if you want to remain ambiguous.
Speaker 2:Yeah, sex may be a big, or perhaps the biggest part of your relationship. So ultimately you're physically close, but not emotionally close.
Speaker 2:Yeah, friends with benefits yeah, there's no regularity with your time together. You could spend the weekend with them and then go days without contact. So there's a lack of consistency, sure, yeah, um, you feel like you're walking on eggshells about telling them what you want. If you feel like you, you know, if you feel like you want more and you don't think, if you ultimately don't think they want the same, you're kind of afraid to bring it up.
Speaker 1:I was like that how cute you were. I was fucking so scared and my buddies were just like do it, do it so we went to like this nice restaurant and then I love hearing these because I don't tell you anything. So we went to this nice restaurant, so I took this girl to the alcove. Where is it?
Speaker 2:in Los.
Speaker 1:Filos and I told her how I felt. I said I liked you and I like being around you, and she, she didn't tell me she liked me back, but she told me that she liked hanging out with me too, and I was like cool, but I was just as confused as ever. And then, uh, after that we went to go see Beirut uh, the Greek theater, like up the street, and I was like fuck, i feel fucking weird.
Speaker 1:And uh, we had a bottle and that's when you got drunk yeah, we drank like this huge bottle vodka and I was just like trying to enjoy it, i was like sing blur, like I was so shit-faced. Yeah, i was fucked up. And then, um, during the show, she started holding my hand and she's never done this started holding my hand and like kind of being on me and I was she intoxicated as well? fuck, yeah, she was, and I was like damn you did it, you're like I did it, i won I accomplished it.
Speaker 1:We're together one for men and uh, i was like what is this? like this is fucking crazy. And then we left after the show and then, uh, she texts me like a couple days later, like I just see as a friend, and I was like fuck, what's? what are you talking?
Speaker 2:about. I want to cry. Oh, that makes me feel so sad. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:I don't. I mean obviously I don't care now, but I don't know what I'm saying, sorry, I was like so heartbroken. I was like, aww, life's over.
Speaker 2:She didn't meet my family too, and so, yeah, yeah she was yeah, i mean you were a little less ambiguous, but was that good?
Speaker 1:was that a good fake cry? that was the situation she posed, and I was on the wrong side.
Speaker 2:I, i got too much feelings and hey, but you tried and I'm proud of you yeah you know, fuck them anyway.
Speaker 1:Sorry, i didn't mean to make it about me, you know but, I tend to do that, that sort of thing, i like hearing your past stories all right um, let's see.
Speaker 2:Okay, last one, the length of time. So the longer a situation is, often it's not very promising because, you know, it signifies a lack of desire of at least one party to move the relationship into a different, more committed state. So you know it's like the same thing over and over and like we said in the beginning, everything kind of starts out as a situation ship, because you don't know what the future holds. You don't know what you know everyone's feelings are it's pretty much dating.
Speaker 1:I feel it's like dating it can.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we all start out in a situation, but the longer it stays, it can signify something.
Speaker 1:I mean it doesn't.
Speaker 2:You know, it's not definite, but it can signify something, i agree okay. So here are some tips if you find yourself being in a situation ship okay ask yourself if this is really what you want, because, you know, sometimes it is like the person we just heard yeah, they're in a point where they just want to.
Speaker 1:That's all they want to do they want that they're, you know.
Speaker 2:They want to have their fun, you know.
Speaker 1:Good for them which is understandable if I think of you're clear, because if you're not, then it's just kind of like oh, that should suck, that was my favorite thing about their reply that they said they're straight up with it because I think that's all you can be.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so, um, make sure you're not pushing your own wants and needs aside. You know for them. Because you want to satisfy their needs, yeah, um. Or because you think their feelings might change. Because they might never change, you know you don't want to push yours aside to be like, oh, one day they'll they'll feel the same way. I do no, because they might not. They're a human being. You know their own feelings and stuff. Um, if you are truly good with your situation, ship set some boundaries, like are you going to talk about who else you're both sleeping with? because you know it could come up?
Speaker 2:they could yeah, are there? only certain times of the week you're going to see each other. I think if you're in one of these, it should be more spontaneous, not like, because that seems more structured, more like daydee, like well, no, um, and just like that, we just started, and just like that, and Carrie was started hooking up with her producer of her podcast yeah and he asked her out because someone wrote in about like, oh, i think we're gonna go to the next level, and she was like oh, okay, well then here's what you need to do.
Speaker 2:You need to go out, do other things, yeah. And he asked her out. I'm like he said hey, next Thursday yeah let's go do this and she initially said yeah initially said yes, but then she shot him down because she doesn't. She likes her time of them hooking up together yeah you know you gotta set your boundaries, you gotta be clear, yeah, um, and will it always be just the two of you or will you guys kind of blend together your social aspects of life, like friends, family?
Speaker 1:yeah, when it gets into that that's when it gets a little a little weird so yeah, try to stay away from that, unless you want more.
Speaker 2:But that's my last point. Yeah, and if you actually want more, you need to speak up. You need to tell them I've enjoyed spending time with you. Tell them me, oh, i'm sorry, you know. Maybe let them know what you've liked about your time together and ultimately say you know where do you see this going? 100% let the conversation go where you want it to go, because you need to find out for yourself yeah put yourself first yeah, my advice, if you're in one of these is don't stop doing what you're doing.
Speaker 1:Don't let this hold you back, like what we talked about before. Yeah, don't let it, uh, stop you from seeing other people, from experiencing new things. Um, because, like what we said, you could say like, oh, but I have this person that I do this with.
Speaker 2:Just keep doing what you're doing and, yeah, don't focus on on that, because it might not go anywhere yeah, set your boundaries and until you have those, like you know, clear, cut boundaries, enjoy yourself, have your fun, live your life with multiple people, but use protection, please, yeah, okay, so now it's time for ask man oh, you're gonna say hot god, i was like dad we're moving fast, thought it was it. Oh no, ask man, ask man. Okay, how important is physical affection?
Speaker 2:to you in a relationship, ie cuddling, you know, non-sexual cuddling, massages, kissing mine is number one.
Speaker 1:Oh, i thought you were asking me no, yeah, what is yours? mine is massaging, kissing, cuddling yours is a big thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a big thing, yeah and I get pissed off. I don't get it okay, relax, we're f***ing after this okay someone said non-sexual physical affection is important to me. Hand-holding on a long drive, cuddling on the couch, a quick shoulder rub while cooking super reassuring and comforting to me. Someone said more important than sex. To be honest Could be Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, someone else said, i think I'd rather have a sexless but affectionate relationship than the inverse. Someone said physical contact is my primary love language. Hold me, lay my head in your lap, hold my face in your hands and stare into my eyes. Let's cuddle. Can we nap together? Can we dance in the kitchen slowly at random? Oh, i want to hold your hand everywhere we go. Hug me from behind for no reason. Let's hug or cuddle so close that our hearts are separated by as little distance as possible. It all gives me dot, dot dot peace.
Speaker 1:Damn, that's a poet. That's next level. Wow, that's some stalker shit right there.
Speaker 2:Oh no. Someone said I haven't felt genuine physical affection from a woman in years.
Speaker 1:Oh, bummer, you can barbree on it.
Speaker 2:Thanks God, good stuff. Lastly, someone said it's required for a relationship to exist.
Speaker 1:I agree. I think a big part of our relationship is that I love when you touch me and rub me and when we're driving you scratch my head. I have to ask most of the time, but a lot of the time you just scratch my head Let me know what you want.
Speaker 1:I love it. I don't know why, even growing up I was always like not for that, like hugging my sisters and my mom and dad. I don't really remember them saying I love you that much and stuff. But I cannot say enough, i don't think.
Speaker 2:That's good.
Speaker 1:And like touch you enough and hug you enough. It's weird how I'm opposite, like with you and the kids.
Speaker 2:I think it's. We've kind of like like I said I think the last episode we've learned things from the way we've grown up, so we've kind of, you know, switched it up the way we know we want to be, wanted things to be for us. So we're we're voicing that for ourselves, we're doing that for our kids, cause you know, we know what we need, what we, our inner child, needed.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so we're making those amends for ourselves.
Speaker 1:For sure.
Speaker 2:Good for you. I went to give you physical affection and I hit my hand. I did a little higher. I like it cause I think sometimes we don't really think about that for men, like we don't really think like men.
Speaker 1:I'm going to stop so you can listen to me.
Speaker 2:You know that's not something we really think of men needing or wanting. You know, men are supposed to be what people think. The strong, the you know, do whatever you need to be done, but they need physical affection too.
Speaker 1:Have you seen? have you seen those videos where sorry, i'm going to cut you off? Have you seen those videos where it shows like the guy with his friends, like his lady yelling at him or texting him, and he's like, whatever, i'm, just I'm with the boys. And then it shows them with them and they're like on their lap, like hugging them, they're like twiddling their thumbs by them.
Speaker 2:I've been sent this by my best friend where it's like, and you too, where it's like a guy being like the manliest of men's. And then it's like their friends go away and they're like, can you hold me and hug me? and you like, turn into a little baby.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for sure. I think that's funny, it's important.
Speaker 2:It's important for everyone.
Speaker 1:I won't, you won't, let me forget it, hey sometimes, when you start rubbing me, you rub me for like a really long time. I'm just like damn hell yeah, this is fucking tight. And I'm like sometimes I do tell you okay, you don't, thank you, that felt good. Hell, then you'll stop. But a lot of the time I'm just like damn hell yeah.
Speaker 2:Cute, okay, and next is our hot girls. You were ready.
Speaker 1:I got it right that time. Okay, what's on the list? What are we talking to you about?
Speaker 2:We just talked about it earlier, so I might be a little frustrated and flustered about it. So Jonah Hill, we have a little. I mean, i'm sure a lot of people have heard it There's a little story about him being a not nice person.
Speaker 1:He is a not nice person. I had a run in with Jonah Hill one time. I almost beat his ass. Oh God, it was in 2012. I was in New York City roaming the streets with my friends And we were walking in Manhattan and one of my buddies is like oh, that's a guy from super bad literally walked right past us And I said, hey, can my buddies get a picture there from the UK? And he was like no, no, no, no, no, no. I mean I guess that's not really an asshole thing, but that's fine.
Speaker 1:It's normal, but I was just like what the fuck? Like you look like a dweeb not doing anything, like you can't stop and take a picture for two seconds, and that kind of like run me the wrong way. I never asked pictures for like famous people really I don't And I was just like dude, i'll be tight because they don't see these fucking people. We saw them The singer of Oasis, liam Gallagher, and I heard that guy's a fucking asshole, like big asshole. Oh no.
Speaker 2:I haven't heard. I've heard he's very nice.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, well, I've heard the opposite. And this guy took a picture with me and my buddies. I didn't even ask for a picture, they did, and he was like do you want a picture with Jim?
Speaker 2:I was like, yeah, I guess so, oh, because he's from like the UK.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it was cool. And then this guy couldn't take a picture with us and I was like you're kind of douchey. He was buying us with a backpack and like not doing shit. But anyway, i've never liked him since, since 2012,. I never fucked with you, jonah Hill.
Speaker 2:Well, neither do a lot of us now, because his ex, sarah Brady, released old texts from their past relationship and it's kind of come to show who he could be behind closed doors. So people have said it has shown him to be insecure controlling. These are not our words, these are other people's words. Insecure controlling, weird. So Sarah Brady is a model professional surfer, professional surf instructor that's her job.
Speaker 2:So, based on the texts he's sent her, that, the screenshot she's shown everyone. He's made a list of things she could not do because of his, and this is his. These are his own words, his own words and I quote setting boundaries. So these are his boundaries. He's setting Removing her surfing videos where she's wearing a bathing suit so she could no longer post pictures of herself in a bathing suit. Keep in mind she's a professional surfer, she's a model like that's her job. She cannot surf with men anymore and she cannot model anymore. So he just all of these conversations I'm sure could be found online.
Speaker 1:They could be. I've seen some.
Speaker 2:I saw a lot of them earlier and it's just I don't know the lingo he used as creating boundaries for himself and like Yeah, for him. Yeah, and I don't think like you create boundaries. We create boundaries and guidelines in our relationships to fill respect and safe, and I don't think we create those to make demands of someone to change who they are personally, like to change their personal autonomy, who they are in their job, and I don't think that's. I don't think that's okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So the way he came at it was wrong, because before they were even together, this was her career. This is what she did. So asking someone to end friendships and end what they've been doing, posting surfing videos and bathing suit pictures like you can't do that shit, you're not. Like you can't be the boss of someone, you know.
Speaker 2:Isn't that what he said? like you need to also not hang out with other women who are like problematic or something. I don't think he said the word problematic. But he also said like I don't want you hanging out with other women who like basically like I don't know, like aren't? he doesn't like their lifestyle.
Speaker 1:Yeah, And even her having friends. That are guys. A lot of surfers obviously are guys and she developed relationships and friendships with guys and girls. To tell someone to end, that is, that's super controlling and that's that seems insecure on one's part.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Especially him because he's so successful and he's not like the ugliest guy. He's not very attractive, but for you to be at a level so high where you're at, in directing and acting, and trying to tell someone that they have to pretty much give up their whole lifestyle is For you is ridiculous. And yeah, yeah, you need to change your fucking therapist, bro, because they're not fucking helping you out, they're not fucking helping your ass.
Speaker 2:In those texts he was quoting his therapist so much, saying like Oh well, my doctor said Oh well, this and that like Fuck you and your doctor.
Speaker 1:How about?
Speaker 2:that I don't know, that's weird. I don't know. I just think telling her that the stuff that she did that violates this is, and I quote, violates his boundaries, it's it's giving him the opportunity to like act like a victim but still control the situation.
Speaker 1:Act like a pussy more than a victim.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's not. Okay, it's not like a relationship and I'm, you know, good for her for getting out of it, good for her for calling him out on it and showing other women what they don't need Yeah.
Speaker 1:Other people what they don't need because people were saying Oh, why are you doing this to he's?
Speaker 2:so nice Yeah.
Speaker 1:And she's like look at the way he's fucking treating me.
Speaker 2:This is the true him.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Listen. So boundaries are a real thing If you come at it from like the right way.
Speaker 1:So like if you started posting some gnarly pictures and some hanging out with guys that you just became friends with, then that would be an issue. But if you were doing shit before like if you had a best guy friend before I even met you, or posting fucking modeling pictures or something, I wouldn't, I would never ask you to not do that anymore, to not do what you're familiar with. I'd there would be boundaries, obviously, but it wouldn't be so demanding and no therapist is going to tell me that. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, No, it's just. You know, we're here for you, That's.
Speaker 1:That's not okay So your problem is you stopped hanging out with Seth Rogen, bro And uh.
Speaker 2:Oh, seth Rogen, go go make some pottery with him, like get you know, yeah, you need to smoke a couple of joints and chill the fuck out.
Speaker 1:You have too much money to be stressing about a fucking surfer girl. Yeah, dorky ass food.
Speaker 2:Let your you know, let your personality speak for itself. Don't control someone else.
Speaker 1:Yeah for sure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Okay, Well, and our last one is um machine gun. Kelly was on tour We're doing a lot of tour and he was on tour in Mexico and a fan had a sign. I feel like you saw this. You were just smiling at me.
Speaker 1:Is it Mexico or Spain? I?
Speaker 2:don't know. I accidentally deleted it, so I'm going off my mind. But he was on tour and a fan had this sign that said I'm here um for you And I would love for you to punch me in the face.
Speaker 1:Oh shit, no, i didn't see this, oh no.
Speaker 2:Okay, It said like I would love for you to punch me in the face. Blah, blah, blah. I don't know what else, but he there's video of him walking around and he sees it and he looks at him and the guy's like yeah, yeah, And he punches him in the face, Dang.
Speaker 1:And he like walks away. That's it And the guy got what he wanted.
Speaker 2:So I mean it wasn't a will of cheese.
Speaker 1:That's the type of face If I seen Mike Tyson or if I seen a couple of people like Connor McGregor or you'd be dead, or I wouldn't tell him that hit me full force, i'd be like bitch, slapped me or do something, dude, that is the coolest thing you could do. So I guess machine killer was his person. I thought you were going to bring up this video I just saw yesterday. He was in Spain and I like machine gun Kelly, i like his more poppy stuff. I don't really listen to his rap, i think Eminem buried him.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's why he's doing pop music now. But he was in Spain and he started talking in Spanish, saying I'm going to perform a song for you guys in your language, and everyone started going fucking crazy. But he started speaking Spanish, i was like what the heck, And he's saying this song And he was singing every fucking. I don't know any of those.
Speaker 1:Obviously, but he was singing all those lyrics and everyone went fucking crazy And I said dude, I like machine and Kelly, That thing was the sick. Everyone looked like a million people was jumping and yelling and screaming. And I was like dude. he's the man That's cool.
Speaker 2:I like machine and Kelly. I hated him in bird box.
Speaker 1:I loved him. I love the way he acts too. He's a good actor. He's such a good actor. I mean I love him.
Speaker 2:Okay, relax.
Speaker 1:Jonah Hill machine and Kelly machine and Kelly That's some boundaries man Relax. What situation? Yeah, but that's it anyway.
Speaker 2:He punched a fan in the face.
Speaker 1:He was singing in a different language.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so it seemed a little more serious today.
Speaker 2:I think the situations are serious, you know there's a lot of feeling involved, a lot of lack of feeling questioning, yeah, so our skeletons in the closet is coming up. We really want people to call in any advice. You need any stories, anything, so give us a call 562-457-0613.
Speaker 1:Leave a voicemail or a text message and we will play it live and talk about it and give you our advice and laugh and whatever. But we appreciate you guys. We'll catch you on the flip flop later. Bye, bye, bye.