pop culture, personal perils, and popeye's

Ever pondered the complexities of attraction and societal perceptions? Join me as I unravel hilarious plans of living a "Big, Brilliant Life" (BBL). We also tackle the frustration of subscription services and the financial juggling act they demand. Plus, there's a lighthearted critique of Benny Blanco's looks and my genuine gratitude towards my mom for her support, all while I emphasize my fondness for phone calls over texting and my anticipation for the latest season of "Only Murders in the Building." 

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Transcript

Speaker 1 0:02

I didn't know what y'all were gonna say and I don't care , I don't want to hear it . Matter of fact , I'm not , I'm not , I'm not the villain , I'm not , I'm not the villain , I'm actually your hero and I want y'all to know that . And I'm here to save the day because there's a hurricane coming and it's gonna change path . If it doesn't change its path , I'm gonna intervene . And I don't want to explain , but I'm just gonna intervene .

Speaker 1 0:34

Um , I , literally , for breakfast , I had a public sub and a banana and some strawberry limeade juice and I that was like around 8 maybe , and I did not eat until 7 maybe and I'm eating Popeyes ate all my fries and half my biscuit and I took one bite of the chicken . I'm really trying to paint a picture because I want to do some Popeye's chicken ASMR . Due to me wanting to do some Popeye's chicken ASMR , I won't be doing a video episode because I just I don't want to like highlight me eating because I'm very busy . I'm very demure , like I take one bite and I'm good for five months . Not , I am in no way , shape or form trying to , um , uh , what's it called ? Endorse eating disorders ? This is clearly a joke . I love to eat bitch . Ah , you know how they saying they eating cats in Ohio bitch . Yeah , because I love to eat . But anyways , I'm going to do a little ASMR . But before I want to do it , before I do the ASMR , I want to explain myself .

Speaker 1 1:51

So I've been gone . I've been gone because I don't know , I just it wasn't even that like , oh , I didn't feel like recording a podcast . I felt like it and , yes , I did record episode . It's just like . I'm just like , just like y'all , I have anxiety too . I get anxious . I get like , oh , I don't want to be crazy . Like I'm a bitch . I'm a bitch , I know . I know I am the poster child for perfect , but I have my mistakes , my quirks , my flaws . I do it all . But deep , deep down , I really am perfect . But that's neither here nor there . I've just I don't know , I've recorded episodes and I don't like it . I'm like I don't want to be perceived that way , but I'm like I really don't give a shit how y'all perceive me , because , yes , I like talking , because I like talking whatever , but I'm not gonna let other people dictate what I do or how I feel about myself or what I do in regards to myself , because I'm the only one who is gonna live in my body , I'm the only one that's gonna be comfortable in my body . And , bitch , I don't give a shit . I don't give a shit , which it's gotta say , unless it's my mom , bitch , my mom not telling me what to do , like that .

Speaker 1 3:06

So what now ? Oh , ij , but not really . So yeah , and oh God , my apartment flooded twice . I had to move , bitch , I just had a lot of shit going on . But okay , I'll say it's a joke here , because I've told people in my personal life it's a joke , but also some people in my personal life . I'm like carrying on with the lie , but whatever , it's not even a lie . I'm acting , I'm being an actor .

Speaker 1 3:40

I keep telling people I'm going to get a BBL , but I'm not going to get a BBL . I'm going to do something . But in a month I'll be getting a BBL . And the BBL is a metaphor . It's big , brilliant life . I'm going to be living a big , brilliant life in a month . So yeah , but I'm telling people I'm getting a BBL and'm just gonna keep egging it on . And so when I start living my BBL , my big , brilliant life , people are gonna be like , oh , your ass is fat . No , it's not . But I'm also gonna edit my Instagram photos so obnoxiously as well , not like simple stuff . No , you're gonna see , I have a alleged fat ass and I don't know . I just want people to see me in person and just be very disappointed or pleasantly surprised . Who cares ? I don't care . But yeah , what the hell was I ? Oh , yeah , I'm gonna live a big , beautiful life in a month .

Speaker 1 4:36

I don't know if I really want to talk about it . Yeah , I'll just wait for it to happen and then talk about it . But , bbl , coming soon , get excited . Fat ass bitches do fat ass things , period . And yeah , my ass is fat . It is like outlandishly , so I have to leave it at home sometimes before I start . I think I'll eat my popeyes at like the end . I want to like talk about like little life updates .

Speaker 1 5:07

I want to talk about my crush . Well , he's not even my crush anymore . Well , I've had so many crushes , but I don't know if we should go in order of the crush or , ok , I'll just start with whoever I want to start with . And , oh God , I feel so disgusting saying this , but I felt actually I didn't even fall victim to because , like , at the end of the day , I'm a real ass bitch and I do real ass bitch shit . But even real ass bitch fall victims to light-skinned men and I felt a victim to a light-skinned man , not even for real , but it's like , oh my god , do I have a little crushy washy on him and I don't know , I don't know it was . It was so disgusting .

Speaker 1 5:50

The thing is why it's disgusting now that I'm like oh , light skin slander , it's just light skins are such bad bitches . And I'm like , as a man , you , you don't need to be a bad bitch . And like he was a bad bitch , I'm like I don't have time for this bad bitch . Like I write diva , I write princess , but yeah , he was a bad bitch . Um , oh my god , everyone thinks he's a hoe , but I'm like , oh , you guys , you guys , please , he's not . I probably . Well , I don't know , he probably is . But like I'm like , no , I could change him , not even though , because do not think you could change a man .

Speaker 1 6:29

I feel like I just say stuff facetiously and I feel like you can't really tell Because I just have the same tone . And it's like you have to know me , you have to know my mannerisms to like get it . It's a joke like this is a bit , my life is a bit and I feel like I don't get along with people . Well , I get along with them , fine , it's just . I prefer people who like understand , like it's a bit , life is a bit , don't take everything so seriously , like we , there's a hurricane coming on Thursday . We could all be washed away . Like it's not that serious , just be easy . Breezy , beautiful cover girl .

Speaker 1 7:10

Um , I got Netflix again to watch Bridgerton . Season three was I wouldn't say it was right . After like watching Queen Charlotte , I'm just like damn damn it , shonda . I think we need a second season of Queen Charlotte and I feel like it can follow more of Charlotte and the prince's love not even prince , I mean , he was the king and the king's um love story . And more of Lady Danbury and Mr Bridgerton , because I know she was putting that pussy on him . I know it for certain , for sure she was putting that thing on him . I just really enjoyed when charlotte was too bad .

Speaker 1 7:54

Um , what else ? Oh , I canceled my netflix subscription because excuse me , oops , I'm so lazy . Um , I don't always me . I feel like I get off on so much engines , but like a part of talking to me is just , I will get sidetracked in that conversation and then we will be talking for hours . I think that's why I like talking on the phone . I hate texting like I will call you . If we're texting and it's like a quick , paced text , not like , oh , I'm doing something , you might be doing something , you're doing something , I'm not like if it's back and forth , I'm just gonna call you to like either speed up the conversation or drag it out . Who knows , who knows with me I'm a yapper certified app . Um , but yeah , queen Charlotte is super good .

Speaker 1 8:50

Um , I canceled my Netflix because I like came to a realization like I hate late stage capitalism . I miss buying things . I miss when you could purchase something and then have it and then next year , when they come out with a newer , better version , you could choose to update it to your liking , not be forced into it by a fucking subscription . I hate subscriptions so much . It's rent . It's fucking app . Rent netflix's tv . Rent like oh my god , doordash to get like cheaper or better deals . It's food rent , bitch . Everything costs rent . And the first month is coming up . Guys , I have to pay rent . Mom , mom , me calling my mom whenever I need money . Mom shout out to my mom she be holding it down for me , especially paying for my BPL . Fuck , that shit has been beating my ass . I think I've been doing really good at trying to like budget and stuff , but god damn , bpls are fucking expensive . I just want to live a big , beautiful life , and it's pricey . It costs to live a big , beautiful life and have a fat ass , but hey , it's worth it in the end . Um , so , yeah , that's why I canceled my Netflix subscription .

Speaker 1 10:17

Uh , oh my god , new season of only murders and the own bitch . It's fucking tuesday , let's go . I love only murders in the building . Um , I don't know , I like selena gomez , but I don't like benny blanco . I'm like he's so ugly girl , you could do what . You're literally selena gomez . Like , gotta keep an eye out for selena . Come on now , babe . Like I want to close my eyes looking at Benny Blanco because he's so ugly . I'm so , I'm not sorry . He's fucking ugly as shit . Oh , god damn , he is ugly like .

Speaker 1 10:54

Oh , one time , um , me and my friend Sebastian , we literally like we were going back and forth , just going in on Benny Blanco because he's so ugly like , oh my god , I feel like more people will shit on him if he was black , though , because Daniel Caesar , he's not that cute like , he's way more attractive than Benny Blanco and , oh my god , people shaft on Daniel Caesar for being ugly . But hey , what do I know ? I feel like cuz he's more normal looking too . He's like a more normal looking white person , despite still being ugly . Because people shit on Ed Sheeran . I love Ed Sheeran . He's actually Jamaican . A lot of people don't know that , but he should make and I grew up with him . Um , people show him and like , oh , he's not that good because he's ugly , and like , if you say , oh , that's not true , you're fucking lying .

Speaker 1 11:51

Because I feel like Harry Styles and Ed Sheeran they make . They both make . Well , I don't know , I don't . I don't listen to Harry Styles music , um , but Ed Sheeran and what's the fuck ? Harry Styles ? I feel like they're toe-to-toe . People just give Harry Styles more hype because when he was a part of a boy band , but let's like pass that Him as a solo artist is not Bitch . I think Ed Sheeran is a hit maker . I love him . Shout out to him .

Speaker 1 12:21

This is not me trying to shade Ed in no way , because he's not conventionally attractive and I'm not . I I don't find , I don't know I need to look at a picture with him . I don't , I don't have my phone . Actually I don't know where my phone is actually . Oh , that noise , that bang . It was just my phone falling , so that's what that noise was . But let me google Ed Sheeran . I also don't find Harry Styles attractive , so , ah , it's just he , not that ugly . Yup , he , not even that ugly . His hair just not as thick . That's literally all it is . Ed Sheeran , I love you , do not let a bitch . I like he's cute .

Speaker 1 13:13

I will go on record to say Ed Sheeran is cute . Um , he is married to Cherry Seaborn . Shout out to Miss Cherry . I wish you a life of love , happiness and bliss and raising your child . Jupiter Seaborn , sharan um , god damn these names . Trust , my kids gonna be having some Jamaican ass names like Delroy , tony Ann , you gonna know . You gonna know what they is . Oh , they just had a second daughter . I think . Wait , how many kids does he have ? Maybe he has more kids , just not with her . Oh , I don't know . It's saying second daughter , kids , oh Okay . Kids , oh Okay . Their other daughter's name is Lyra , antarctica , kind of close to my name . Well , not really , but Lyra is close , antarctica . God , these names , god damn . But yeah , I hope you guys are super happy together .

Speaker 1 14:32

I love your music . I had your hit maker , my favorite , one of my favorite jamaicans , out there next to michelle obama and joe scott . Of course I'm burping a lot because I really don't drink soda , because it's just way too much carbonation for me . If I'm drinking anything carbonated , it's gonna be ginger beer and the burn is gonna be from like so much ginger . Aldi's has the best ginger beer . I highly recommend like , try it , make a mule out of it . Do it if you're 21 , of course , because underage drinking is totally gross . Like ew , ew , ew . Who even does that ? Like you're literally sick . Ew , like so disgusting I could never . But yeah , I love Popeye's strawberry Fanta because I'm a big Fanta fan .

Speaker 1 15:33

When I was like younger , I used to like soda and oh my god , bitch , I don't care if it's a stereotype I love grape soda , like whoever he was like . Oh , black people love grape soda . Yeah , bitch , I love that shit and I only have it when I'm like back home because my mom buys it . It's like my nephew and shit . But yeah , I love grape soda . So the closest I get to drinking anything grape soda like is if I'm like out and like they have a can of grape soda , but otherwise I'll get the strawberry soda from Popeyes .

Speaker 1 16:09

A little ASMR before the chicken eating . Do you hear the ice chicken eating ? Okay , whenever , god , it's so much carbonation . I feel like old lady , I feel like , but it's a lot . I Don't eat McDonald's because free palace night , of course . That come on now , my months .

Speaker 1 16:39

But when I did one time I was I think it was Megan Shout out to my god , listen , I do , yeah , that , but just stand up but making got a coke and I was like , oh , can I try it , because I haven't had a coke in a while , because I don't drink soda . Bitch , I almost passed out . I felt like I was shot in the chest , like I cannot believe people just like drink their fucking soda so frivolously , like OMG , go to war . Like oh , my god , I'm just a tiny , tiny girl like I'm learning Italian on Duolingo and I have just been trying to incorporate it more into my life . I've gotten my some of my co-workers to well , most of them to download duolingo , but they're all doing different languages . But one of my co-workers had it like for a while and she has a two-year streak like fuck , I want to get like you , but I'm just gonna keep practicing , get better . Let's hope , fingers crossed , put in the work .

Speaker 1 17:58

I'm not like . I have a six-month free trial of Duolingo and I think after that ends it's gonna end like in November . After it ends , I think I wanna get like an Italian book and like see where that goes , finish the book and then potentially get Babbel . It's just like I don't know if I wanna pay for something I don't . I got so many bills , bitch . There's so much shit . Like you don't even know If anyone wants to send me money . That's acceptable too .

Speaker 1 18:27

I will not be doing anything for the . I would like some . I would really appreciate it . It would help towards my BBL . Let's just put it at it . I'm going to keep it a thaw out with you . I'm not doing nothing for it , but it's going to my BBL . So if you want to see me with a fat ass , hey , hey , man , say man , let's make it happen . What else ?

Speaker 1 19:00

Omg , me and my back home besties we made a group chat on Instagram and TikTok and I love it so much because I miss them all the time and it just like when I send them memes and they respond like I hear their voices , I hear their love . Oh god , I miss them so much . I love my cheer sister so much . I feel like a lot of people don't know this , but I was a cheerleader in high school and I met like my lifelong friends , like me and them . Bitches , we go in a long way . I just love us .

Speaker 1 19:26

It's like you know that kid who stole his mom's car and was like , oh , I just want to do hoodrat stuff with my friends . That's how I feel . I always want to do hoodrat stuff with them . I love them so much and I love their babies so much . The tt is the baby , even though the tt is like 300 miles away . I don't care , I love them . But desi is bad as hell . Trust , I will give him smoke anytime , bitch , just wait till he grown . I'll be throwing a leg . Sorry , give me my 30 , I don't care , don't be mean to me , I don't care . If you're a kid , I'll fight a kid fuck , because like you need to learn . You need to learn how the streets are like from young , sorry , but yeah , we made a group chat and we're always sending memes and I just love them so much .

Speaker 1 20:15

What else , what else have I been up to . Oh , I got a can opener from target , because when I moved I don't know I lost my can opener . I left it at my old apartment . I don't know what happened , but I got a new one from target and I feel like I'm about to burp again . So let's just excuse me . Anyways , I'm trying to figure . Oh , I got a new journal , because I finished a journal and I I've been asking a lot of people do they collect anything ?

Speaker 1 20:51

Because I'm like , what do people like hold near and dear to them ? What do they want to just like accumulate throughout their lives ? And I love little trinkets , but I'm like I cannot have trinkets after having to move . I'm like , fuck this , like I'm gonna be a minimalist as much as I can , as much as a maximalist can be a minimalist . So what I started to do was start collecting magnets and while I enjoy that , I think in addition to that I also want to collect journals , because , yes , my children can someday have my magnets , but they can have my journals , they can have me , they can have my thoughts , my feelings , my emotions , how I felt in the world , how I navigated the world , some of my bad decisions , some of my good decisions , like all of me , and I just think that's a really amazing thing to collect and I really want to get more consistent in it .

Speaker 1 21:47

But , like I don't know , I feel like my anxiety is so weird because it comes out in the most fucking dumb ass ways . Like I get anxious to like put pen to paper because I'm like it's permanent , it's gonna like . I don't know , I need to chill out , but I've been trying to like oh , my god , fuck , I took a swimming lesson that has been like the highlight of I think I took it this summer . I loved it so much . I am such a pro swimmer I got a certificate the only one and , mike , I was best in class the only one to get a certificate . Um , yeah , I think I want to frame it , though I lost it while I was moving , but I know it's somewhere around here but I want to frame it . And when I do find it so like starting back , I'm like looking around my room to like figure out talking points .

Speaker 1 22:47

I'm like let's oh , I started meal planning . That has been so good because I'm a fucking broke bitch molto broke , molto , molto broke . Um , so this has really helped me in like making sure today was a bad example because I just I had a lot to do today , um , but I usually have my lunch . I take it to work with me . I'm just making sure I'm eating more and major .

Speaker 1 23:18

My diet is high fiber , high protein , because I just want to make sure I'm getting all my nutrients , because it really affects you . If you're not shitting once a day bitch , you need to go eat . You need to go fucking . Eat some dates , eat some bananas something . Can't eat some dates . Eat some banana something because you need to be shitting . So high protein , high fiber . And another concern for me is like I tend to like binge eat but like not even binge because I'm like going on a binge and I feel so shitty , I like overeat . My favorite snack has become dried mangoes and I'll literally just sit and eat like two bags of dried mangoes because you're so freaking good like I'm an addict and that is my crap cocaine . So I've just been trying to work on that and I feel really good , been drinking more water .

Speaker 1 24:08

Make sure you guys are staying hydrated . Dehydration can kill you . It can lead to sickness . Just drink water . Your pee should look like , um , like I don't know , maybe maybe like lemon water , maybe just just a little hint of yellow , like a pale yellow . But yeah , make sure you're drinking water , taking care of yourself . You only have one body , take care of it . That has also been like my thought .

Speaker 1 24:43

Like , as I've gotten older , I've and like , just working at my , my job , I like see so much people , so much people are in my face on a daily basis and I'm like I'm so grateful like be healthy , for the most part Able-bodied , being able to take care of myself on my own . So I'm like I need to appreciate my body more . So I've been eating better , I want to start working out and like I was doing really good for a while and then I just stopped and haven't gotten back into it . But I want to start working out more because , you know , the BPL is coming soon , so the body gotta beat . See like the rest of the body , I I'm just airing out my fridge and I love my magnets , so I think I'm trying to figure out if there's anything else I want to say before I start doing this .

Speaker 1 25:50

Asmr oh , my god , my boobs got bigger and my ass got fat . I know I've been talking about my bbl , but like actually I'm very I don't know . I I think I'm pretty skinny , but I'm not like mouth nourished or anything or like look outlandishly skinny , um . But yeah , I gained a lot of weight and I felt really good . I felt strong , strong , strong like bull . So my boobs got bigger and that has fucking sucked Because so much of my clothes and my ass , so much of my clothes don't fit me my favorite jeans , my favorite pair of jeans .

Speaker 1 26:28

I went through so much trying to get these jeans because they don't fit anymore and I have to sell them . It really pains me . I love those jeans . So much of my tops don't fit and it's not like I can't wear them , I just feel like uncomfortable with so much boo about like kids be outside and I don't know . I like wear what you want , but me personally I don't need my fucking ass or titties out Like I'm okay , I do what y'all want .

Speaker 1 27:04

I hate when I'm like , speaking in terms of me , and other people think like I care what they do , like oh , I would never wear that and like another person is wearing that Bitch . I don't care what you do , this is me . We're two completely different person people and I'm like I don't . If you like it , I love it , my mom's , I love it . But I'm not casually just like going out and a person's like wearing a black top . I'm like I hate black top . No , I'm not doing that . I'm like some things will come up and then a person will be like , oh , so yeah , like when I like bitch , I don't fucking care . Like who's gonna tell her , I don't care , um , and I think I will start eating my popeye's chicken now . Hopefully it's still crunchy . I'm such a yapper .

Speaker 1 27:53

Oh , before I start eating , I want to do a really deep pregnant pause because I feel like I need to lean more into like my creative freedom as a podcaster . Like I can do anything . This is a listening experience . So if I want to stop talking , I can like there's no pressure , it's just us here chilling , vibing . I'm trying to like relax so I don't get like anxiety when I do it . So this is gonna be a minute or two minutes of me eating . Oh wait , I'll come back . I just grabbed the box .

Speaker 1 28:40

My favorite sauce is sweet heat . I love it so much . Oh , my god , fuck , I just spilled the sweet heat sauce . It's okay , I'm gonna try the chicken now . Okay , now I'm oh my god , spicy chicken , by the way . Now I'm about to eat a fry , one singular fry .

Speaker 1 29:43

So now I am gonna eat a piece of the biscuit . I'm gonna dip it in sweet heat sauce first , taking a bite . Actually , oh my god , sometimes I'll be eating and then this texture gets me and I get like so nauseous . When I took a bite of the pisgah and I'm like , oh bitch , I'm about to throw up , but no , I'm like , oh bitch , I'm about to throw up , but no , I'm good . And now I'm about to drink some water , because the soda is just too much . Right now I have my Stanley water bottle and it has ice in it . Oh fuck , oh God , a piece of the biscuit went down the wrong pipe . I'm about to take a sip and , for a good measure , I'll take one more sip of the strawberry Fanta with ice . Okay , so that's it . Um , thank you for listening . If you've listened , I know I'm inconsistent , but , bitch , so is your mom .