Today, we’re thinking about all things money or $HMONEY with Anastasia Barbuzzi – a journalist and the creator/host of $HMONEY Radio. $HMONEY makes financial literacy approachable, attainable, and fun to talk about for millennial women. An open, inclusive, and judgment- free zone that promotes the idea of educating yourself to empower yourself, $HMONEY is a safe place to discuss money matters without guilt or shame. $HMONEY Radio has now been listened to in over 500 cities and 60 countries worldwide – and recently hit 5,000 downloads!
The idea for the podcast was born from Anastasia’s experience with a financial spiral that came after a life- threatening car accident. The incident put her in a position where she had to ask for financial support and during that period, she began to ponder why it was so hard to ask for help, why we pride ourselves on our financial status and more.
Here about Anastasia's personal money story, how her accident shaped this new brand that supports other women with financial literacy, good habits to focus on when starting your money journey, why we should be investing in our friendships with our girlfriends, how to set boundaries with your money, and more.
CONNECT WITH ANASTASIA
On Instagram at @anastasiabarbuzzi and @shmoneyradio
Learn more about her money story at www.shmoney.club/about
Find interesting articles and info at www.shmoney.club
Find Anastasia's full portfolio at www.anastasiabarbuzzi.com
Listen to $HMONEY Radio on Apple and Spotify
Hosted by @kirstimcnabney
Find links, inspiration and updates on @thinkingaboutpodcast
This episode was edited by Amanda Wan of Wan Media
Today, we’re thinking about all things money or $HMONEY with Anastasia Barbuzzi – a journalist and the creator/host of $HMONEY Radio. $HMONEY makes financial literacy approachable, attainable, and fun to talk about for millennial women. An open, inclusive, and judgment- free zone that promotes the idea of educating yourself to empower yourself, $HMONEY is a safe place to discuss money matters without guilt or shame. $HMONEY Radio has now been listened to in over 500 cities and 60 countries worldwide – and recently hit 5,000 downloads!
The idea for the podcast was born from Anastasia’s experience with a financial spiral that came after a life- threatening car accident. The incident put her in a position where she had to ask for financial support and during that period, she began to ponder why it was so hard to ask for help, why we pride ourselves on our financial status and more.
Here about Anastasia's personal money story, how her accident shaped this new brand that supports other women with financial literacy, good habits to focus on when starting your money journey, why we should be investing in our friendships with our girlfriends, how to set boundaries with your money, and more.
CONNECT WITH ANASTASIA
On Instagram at @anastasiabarbuzzi and @shmoneyradio
Learn more about her money story at www.shmoney.club/about
Find interesting articles and info at www.shmoney.club
Find Anastasia's full portfolio at www.anastasiabarbuzzi.com
Listen to $HMONEY Radio on Apple and Spotify
Hosted by @kirstimcnabney
Find links, inspiration and updates on @thinkingaboutpodcast
This episode was edited by Amanda Wan of Wan Media
Welcome to the Thinking About Podcast, your digital equivalent to late night chats with good friends that keep you thinking I'm Kirsty . And together we'll join interesting people for deep meaningful conversations that will help elevate our lives, leave us with actionable outcomes and keep us thinking for days to come. Hello and welcome back to The Thinking About Podcast. I am very glad that you are here, especially today because if you have been on this journey with us for a while , you will know that the money conversation is something that's always got me thinking but often makes me a little bit uncomfortable. And uh, the episode that we are sharing today is with someone that's gonna make it a lot more comfy for all of us. But in the episode she talks about listening to the beginning of Danielle Rob's podcast episode with Your Rich BFF. And Danielle talked very openly about her experience with money, her feelings about it, her life. And I wanted to share that because hearing that story from someone that I really look up to , um, meant a lot to me. It also meant a lot to our guests , which is why she brought it up. And it's such a good reminder that we're all learning in our own way and we're all in different points in our path of our money journeys. And I think that it's a bit of a relief to know that not everyone has it figured out except for you. So before we get into today, I just wanted to share that that's been something that's kept me thinking since I had this conversation and I'm really excited that we get to all think about that together. In case you haven't gathered from the title, we are talking about all things money or better yet, Shmoney with our guest Anastasia Barb Bootsy , a journalist and the creator and host of Shmoney Radio . If you haven't yet had the chance to listen to Shmoney , I highly encourage you to add it to your favorites immediately as it has quickly become one of mine. You can find all the links in the show notes. As always, shmoney makes financial literacy approachable, attainable, and fun to talk about for millennial women. And I can tell you as a millennial woman that I highly stand by this advice <laugh> . It's an open, inclusive, and judgment free zone that promotes the idea of educating yourself to empower yourself. Shmoney is a place that is safe to discuss money matters without guilt or shame. And it has been listened to in over 500 cities, 60 countries worldwide. And recently, as in last week, I think I saw the post hit 5,000 downloads. So congratulations to Stass on all she's done. The idea for the podcast was born from her experience with a financial spiral that came after a life-threatening car accident. The incident put her in a position where she had to ask for financial support and during that period she began to ponder why it was so hard for her to ask for help. Why we pride ourselves on our financial status and more suss openly shares about the experience and beginning sh money on today's episode, I think it's really brave to be able to be that open about your own experience and not only do that but bring it to life in a way that is helpful to other people. I think that that is the best thing that anyone can do when it comes to creating is like using your own story to make something that is valuable for others. I think that that's so special and I love that she's doing it. She also shared her own money story growing up really openly with us, even with how open and honest her family was about things like work and the importance of earning a living. They weren't always willing to go deep into money, which is something that I feel is very reasonable and understandable and relatable for many of us. Her parents never liked the idea of her and her sisters knowing that there was a struggle and beyond vague details about how well off the family was. Money wasn't really a conversation. She was always told about how important it was to save. But beyond that it was sort of off limits as it is in many families. Let's just say that to talk about how much you made would be looked at as distasteful, that kind of vibe. And now she's changing the narrative of money for the next generation. We talk about how it has brought her to where she is today, helping further the conversation with actionable tips that will actually help you support yourself in your financial literacy journey. As a new and excited listener of Shmoney , I was so excited to chat with STAs about what she's learned from her reporting on so many different and diverse money stories from traditional bankers to beauty industry entrepreneurs. And I felt super relieved to know, as I mentioned, that everyone is figuring it out as they go. She also shares tips that she picked up along the way, including how to set boundaries when it comes to what you may or may not be able to afford. How to set good money habits and get started with that, especially if you're new to it and how investing in our girlfriends can be so impactful for our lives. STAs Curiosity shines through with her work with Shmoney and it was a pleasure to be able to hear so many tips from her experience. If you're also on a money journey with me, I highly recommend checking out the podcast and all the resources on the blog. And as always, be sure to connect with us online to let us know what kept you thinking from this episode. If you like the episode a lot, please take the time to write a review. It helps us grow. It does so much for my own personal wellbeing <laugh> and also it just means a lot to me if you take the time to do that. Thank you so much for tuning in. I hope that you enjoy the conversation. I hope that it gives you an opportunity to explore money in a way that feels comfortable and safe the way that we can always do when wheel listen , dish money . And I hope that you have a great week .
Speaker 2:Hi sas , welcome to the podcast. Very excited you are here. As people will know from the intro, you are the money person, the money person to know and we have so much to get into today. Before we do, can you tell us a little bit about yourself and then let us know what currently has you thinking because as you know, that's how we start every episode.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, definitely. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so glad we met recently and definitely excited to be on the show. As for a little bit about me, I am a writer, always have been. Uh, I am a journalist and also the creator of SH Money Shmoney Radio more specifically, which is the kind of podcast attached to this whole platform. And I always kind of like to preface, especially when I go on someone else's podcast that you know, I may not always be the expert on the topics we discuss on the show. I'm definitely not <laugh> someone with a finance background, but as a journalist I've always taken like immense pleasure and really utilizing my skills to do the dirty work for the listeners. So like anything that you wanna talk about or know about money, we discuss it on the show. More specifically, you know, the taboos and the stigmas that come with talking about money. What has me thinking I guess? I mean a lot of things always my wheels are always turning, but I think more recently, and this kind of has to do with the whole money angle, I've been thinking a lot about the division of household labor being someone who is about to get married, especially my fiance and I both have very busy lives and careers and that's just got me thinking like what that , what's that gonna look like? What does it look like for a woman now? So that's something we've been talking a lot about on the show. Yeah, that's kind of what's on my mind.
Speaker 2:I love it. I feel like that's been on my mind for at least the last year I work from home. My partner does not. I feel like that also plays a role on top of it all. 'cause there's <laugh> , I wake up, I'm like, oh , spin in laundry and then I'll do this and then I'll do this. And I'm like, no wonder I'm freaking tired at the end of the day. 'cause I'm trying to do a household job and also a regular job and it is exhausting.
Speaker 3:Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> . Yeah , I mean shameless plug, but I recently had Stephanie O'Connell Rodriguez on the show. That whole episode talks a lot about unpaid household labor that woman do. She's amazing. So if anyone does want to go and listen to more about that, I could talk about it all day with you. But she is like the source for
Speaker 2:I love it . That kind
Speaker 3:Of information.
Speaker 2:So we'll put that in the show notes so that you can easily get to it. <laugh> , before we dive into the questions that I gave you, classic Rs move on this podcast, as someone who talks about money and you're looking into the taboo topics, you're doing the dirty work, if you will. Mm-Hmm , <affirmative> . Do you find that people are really open with you about things that they might not necessarily talk about with other people?
Speaker 3:Yeah, it , it kind of like made me like squeamish to say before, but I think maybe it's just like my, my work, my training as a journalist, I really like , just like listening to people. And so I find that, you know, through doing a number of these interviews now and kind of learning what most people are thinking about or feeling when it comes to money, they do tend to open up about it. And I mean that's like the whole point right, of the show and the podcast is to really like break down those barriers and make it less taboo. So yeah, I definitely find that
Speaker 2:That's great. And you are doing it and you, as I was telling you before we started recording, you have the most calming voice. I'm like, I wanna tell you all of my money issues <laugh> .
Speaker 3:You know what, like , I , I mean like I told you before we hopped like on the recording was it's, it's hard for me to listen to my own voice sometimes I think like anyone who works in like, you know, an audio format <laugh> have a hard time listening to themselves. But uh, thank you. Yeah, I'm glad. You're welcome . <laugh>
Speaker 2:<laugh> , you're doing a great job with it. So for people who are new here and are new to you, you are the woman behind Shmoney , a media platform, digital network community and podcast as you mentioned, which I love called Shmoney Radio . And the goal of it is to make financial literacy approachable, attainable and fun to talk about for millennial women. I think that it's so good to do this. I'm like obsessed with anyone who is doing it because I just spent so much of my life not talking about money. And I think that like in the last year or two, it has been a topic that I've been like diving into very slowly. And so I really appreciate when people are doing the work that you're doing because I think that there's a lot of people that feel that taboo vibe to get started. Can you talk about your own money story and why you're so passionate about helping people get empowered about their money?
Speaker 3:Yeah, definitely. And I'm glad you asked because I think, you know, even with guests on the show, just having me like talk about my own money story is often one of those things that like helps kind of break down that wall and that barrier and helps make other people feel more comfortable about it. Right? And I've done a couple episodes talking about my money story here and there, but long story short, my parents, well one of my parents is an immigrant , um, from Italy and really we were always, you know, like working class , I think my dad's like very strong Italian immigrant background , really enforced that like , you work hard and you earn what you work hard for. And I think that's the case with a lot of like immigrant stories and families. But that was kind of like really drilled into my sisters and I from the time that we were little. And so growing up, you know, like my sisters and I never really went without, but um , my parents worked really, really hard. They worked their asses off to to give us that. And there were some times, you know, growing up where definitely like tension and stress around money. I mean, my dad was out of work for a long time. My mom was working multiple jobs and so you kind of sell those dynamics in the relationship, like flip flop , right? Like who was the breadwinner and all suddenly who wasn't. There were times when I would like go and help my mom cleaned houses because, you know, she, she needed me there and that was all kind of also what like, I think instilled my like work ethic and like my beliefs about money growing up. Like nothing comes easy. You work hard for you know, what you get. And uh, that was kind of my story growing up. And then fast forward to my like university years <laugh> and I was actually , uh, you know, still like always hustled, always had like two or three jobs because I had to, I moved to Toronto when I was 18 to go to Ryerson, which is now TMUI was always, you know, working in restaurants, starting my like freelance journalism career at that point, just trying to keep myself afloat. And then in 2017 I was actually in New York and this was like two days before Christmas I was coming home and my sister's boyfriend at the time also was living in Toronto. And uh, after I got off my flight he was like, no, I'll just pick you up. We'll go back down to Windsor together to visit your family for the holidays. And I'm like, sweet free ride. So I hopped in the car with him and uh , basically a few hours later woke up in a hospital bed. We had been involved in a very serious life-threatening 12 car crash on the 4 0 1. And I had some pretty serious injuries and because of that was hospitalized for like, on, in and out , you know, surgery after surgery , um, for like the better part of a year. And that kind of my life upside down at that point I was also going into my last year of university and all of a sudden there was this like very long period. I mean, my recovery was even longer than that, but I couldn't work. I was like confined to a bed. I didn't even like get to meet any of my professors like in my like third and final year in university until like my last two weeks of school basically. Like, it was a very weird, just kind of like eye-opening situation in the midst. All of all of that, like I said, couldn't work all of a sudden I was baroque as hell <laugh> and because that like, you know , work on overdrive kind of like hustle, hustle, hustle mentality was always in my head. It was like so incredibly frustrating to just know that like I realistically could not do anything about my situation at that point. But you know, I I obviously hadn't done enough to prepare myself for a situation like this and one year, you know, 2021 , like that's kind of hard to do. I mean, some of us, yeah , you know, in our like mid twenties to early thirties still are not prepared for anything like this. But that's, you know, just life. And I actually kind of came to realize like I, I was thinking a lot about this and you know, my hospital bed's like what could I have done better? Why do I feel like it's so hard to ask for help? Like I, my parents fortunately were able to support me through that time. I also had some other help and I just realized like that was the first time I ever asked them for anything and it was so hard for me to do. It was so hard to admit that like my bank account was the closest to zero that I had ever been. And um, I, yeah, I really just was kind of , you know , having all these thoughts about like, why is it so hard for us to talk about money and started really looking into this. I wasn't financially literate as I thought I was and you know, a lot factored into that. Like I, I was very prideful about, you know, working so hard and always being able to keep myself afloat. But like I think that's also a problem that a lot of us have, right? Like maybe you just don't wanna admit that like you , you don't know as much as you think, you know. So , um, eventually got back to school and I was doing a podcasting course actually and I was kind of tasked with like creating a branded platform that could host different forms of like multimedia and it was this whole thing. And because I had been doing all of this research and reading about financial literacy and particularly , particularly like as it uh , pertained to women , I came up with this idea of , and the the name kind of came afterward and everything. Like I, I just, you know, had all of these thoughts but I kind of presented them to my professor at the time and he was literally like, I can hear this being produced, like you should do this. So that kind of stuck with me and then three years later, you know, here we are . And I think just like if anyone can like deduce something from what I just said, I just like to say that like for too long we really addressed women's lack of financial literacy and independence by pointing out like what we can do better or the things we didn't know or have access to and then we just like move on. But what I took from, what I still take from that is that as a journalist and the host of Shmoney , it's like my job and what I feel is important to like move that conversation forward. Like how do we improve this for everyone? So that's kind of my long winded story, <laugh> .
Speaker 2:I love it. That was a great story. Thank you for sharing that. I have so many questions related to that. I love that it was a school project that has now moved into this huge thing and I think that you're doing a good job of continuing the conversation because you have such practical tips in the episodes that I've heard that are like, I'm like, oh I can literally take this and make something of it the next time I do anything. Yeah . Which I think is important because it's, it's not just like, don't buy a latte and then move on <laugh> .
Speaker 3:Yeah .
Speaker 2:Like let's actually do something about it, you know ? Yeah .
Speaker 3:That's good to hear. Like everything is meant to be actionable and yeah, I mean it's kind of cool to look back and think like it , it definitely wasn't, you know, fully formed at that point. But that idea started out of something that was obviously like a really, you know, just terrible situation and started as like this little passion like school project and turned into what it is , what it is now. But just to hear that it's helping people like you is really like the goal
Speaker 2:100% you're killing it. Question about your money mindset. So in that time of your life , your life after the accident, when you are feeling frustrated. So I've been doing a lot of work recently with my therapist about money mindset. So I'm very intrigued by this topic right now. But, and I have also always struggled with asking for help, which I just learned recently. It all came back together and I was like, oh that makes so much sense. But did you know, because you're pretty young at that point, did you realize when you were thinking about it that it was a money mindset thing or was that something that that came once you started researching it?
Speaker 3:You know what, I think it took like a long time to kind of unpack and wanna face my money mindset because I think like at that time my money mindset was, I was almost like too prideful to like be honest with myself about my finances. Yeah . And for a long time I like things were so bleak, <laugh> so bleak that I almost didn't wanna face it, but I knew like coming out of this, yeah, like I'll be okay for the time being because I was lucky enough to have like people there to support me and whatnot . But coming out of this like, I'm gonna have to figure this out again. That's where my pride comes in because I never wanted to have to ask anyone for help or be reliant or like dependent on somebody, especially financially. Yeah . Uh , obviously that circumstance, you know, was like I had to, I had to knock down my pride a bit because it's like, okay, it's okay. Like you mean for this to happen. But I also thought a lot about another reason for sh money . Right ? Money was like money . What if I didn't have anyone in that situation? Right? Yeah. Like what would I do with the lack of financial knowledge that I had at the time. Um, but just like, I guess looping back to the money mindset thing is yeah, it took me a long time to kind of face it, like face where I was at the time and then through the podcast, which has also kind of been like therapy for me , um, I've been able to work on it and improve it.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And I think that that's such an important part because it's really easy and I think it's interesting and really helpful to hear in your story that like you are working all these jobs and like doing all these things and very driven and you still didn't have that at the time. And like it's very easy to live with blinders on, especially as like a high achieving person be like, I don't need to know what's going on. I don't need to learn anything else 'cause I'm doing 800 other things. So I think that it's nice to hear that story because it, I feel like sometimes the conversation about money when you feel like you don't understand it, or your financial literacy or money mindset or whatever is not where you want it to be, can be really intimidating. So having a place to be able to actually reflect on that, like shmoney , go listen <laugh> , um, is you, you can do a shameless plug, I'll do a real plug. Um , but I think that it gives people a place to know that like all of the stories are okay and you can always learn more about it. And it doesn't have to be like you have to talk to a finance person that makes you uncomfortable. Like there's now resources where you can learn that somewhere else. And I think that that's really impactful and powerful for people too.
Speaker 3:Yeah, a hundred percent . Yeah. I'm, I'm so glad you said that too because like, like you said, someone could be doing a thousand things and like living their life, their perfect life on Instagram.
Speaker 2:Exactly . <crosstalk> ,
Speaker 3:<laugh> like and from many of the people that I've talked to, actually someone very recently , uh, who I admire a lot, Danielle Robe , she hosts a pretty smart podcast . I love
Speaker 2:Danielle
Speaker 3:Basically did an intro to an episode , uh, with your rich BFF and she literally said like, Hey, you know, like I have this fancy job on uh, you know, entertainment like TV and, sorry , I forget the channel <laugh> . Um , but like I think it's EII live yeah E I'm pretty sure. And I live in West Hollywood in this like small apartment and there were like bugs coming up my sink the other day and I don't even know what to do in the kitchen and I hate talking about money. I don't even wanna think about it. And I'm like, that's real. Like that's what people need to know and hear because yeah, you could be having all of this success, you know, like through the lens of social media and whatnot, but then you, and you could also have a very well paying job. Like Danielle doesn't make pennies, let's just put it that way. But she still doesn't feel comfortable talking about money and the doesn't wanna deal with it. So what does that tell you? Right. Goes deeper Hundred
Speaker 2:Percent obviously. Yeah, it does. And I think that it's so important to hear all of the conversations because there's so much shame around it. What do you think has been the biggest learning experience for you coming from the fact that you now have access to be able to be learning from so many inspirational money leaders or talking about different stories like this?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think it's honestly so much of what we just talked about is that even these people who are like personal finance experts and super educated on the topic and have millions of dollars, like we all come from such similar ground and beginnings and a lot of them have also felt extremely uncomfortable about talking about money and like there's no shame in that. And so that's inspired me and taught me to be more open and unafraid to like try the things that maybe they have or learn the things that they have and really start from ground zero. Like dealing with numbers is one of those things. Like yeah, I can work my banking out pretty well but like doing math is like my, the bane of my existence and it always has been. So yeah, it's just taking that like it's okay to try , um, being open to learning and like sharing is really important and everyone kind of starts from the same place when it comes to this conversation. And also, again, like those people, a lot of these people are just like you and they may seem and look pretty successful. I mean they, a lot of them are, but they are some of the people that have struggled with struggl the money conversation and money itself like the most.
Speaker 2:So, and I think that that's nice. I think there's a shift these days specifically I would say like in the last five years. 'cause it used to be like you would be looking at people talking about money, they'd be like, I've known this my entire life. And then you're sitting in the corner being like, I don't know anything and I'm so dumb <laugh> . Yeah. And now you're hearing the stories of like the fact that other people are like that so you can put your hand up and have that conversation too and then everyone can grow. And I like the , I think it's probably the journalist in you, but the curiosity that comes through as you're having these conversations makes it a lot more approachable, which I really like.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. I definitely, I mean on twenties , like one of the webpages I actually put like curiosity is the best policy. Like I truly believe that. Like that is my motto. Uh, and you're right, maybe it is the journalist in me, but I think just like staying curious about these things and like being willing and open to learning is so important, especially when it comes to money.
Speaker 2:I totally agree . Um, you do a lot of polls on your Instagram for your community, which I love and I now always participate in <laugh>. Thank you . Have there been any results that have like really shocked you or have they all been pretty much what you expect?
Speaker 3:Um, you know what one of the <laugh> most surprising , uh, results is from a poll I posted one time during the whole like, Kim k , get up , get your up and work <laugh> like fiasco. Because I was just like so outraged by that whole thing and like the audacity, right? But obviously she doesn't know any better <laugh> . And I was like, not necessarily like shocked by the responses, but like the number of responses from women who like maybe had not even like participated in one funny poll before. Like we're just like commenting and like ing on this . Just , just so like offended by like her lack of, you know, what word am I looking for? Awareness. Just the lack of awareness. Right? Like how dare she. Right.
Speaker 2:Honestly.
Speaker 3:But yeah, that was one of the more surprising ones. And then I know you have a couple questions about this, but more recently I've been doing a lot of polls about friendships and just talking a lot about investing in those and how much of that is a monetary investment. And um, there were some more surprising answers. Just, you know, the amount of money that people are investing into friendships , uh, how they feel like obligated to just go along with spending money that maybe they don't have. And I actually, I think I had a question in the last poll, like, did any of your answers surprise you? And majority of people who responded were like, yeah, like, this actually got me thinking. So it's interesting to see people ,
Speaker 2:We love things that get you thinking here. Yeah . <laugh> yes .
Speaker 3:Let's talk about right. Um , but yeah, I , that was, that was interesting. That was surprising .
Speaker 2:I need you to do a second set of polls in that same category about like bachelorettes and weddings.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, I've ,
Speaker 2:So if you could do that and report back to me, that would be ideal .
Speaker 3:We'll do a whole other episode.
Speaker 2:<laugh> . I love it. I really liked your hone your Habits series, which we already kind of talked about the fact that you give practical advice. So I think that that's important. If you haven't listened to Shmoney yet, there were episodes in that series that included seasonal spending and budgeting for simple pleasures. How to stack habits to stay on top of your finances, best way to track your spending and pay down debt. I think that what I liked the best was that it was a lot of little steps and little steps make big progress. And I think that in every aspect of my life, if your , uh, motto is curiosity, mine is little steps. So what do you think that people who are brand new to their money journey taking their blindfolds off and like getting ready to confront it, which congratulations if you're, 'cause that's a very scary step. Where do you think that they can focus their energy when they're first starting to not get overwhelmed and be like, I don't wanna do this anymore?
Speaker 3:That's a great question . I think kind of like loops back to previous answer, but I think it's like giving yourself time to think and reflect on your spending habits and what's important to you and what your goals are . And I feel like journaling is like a huge part of this step . Or just like writing down your thoughts . You know , you don't need to like reserve an hour and do like an elaborate morning routine , do this . But just really giving yourself time and space to like reflect on these things and really give thought to, you know, not just like crunching numbers. 'cause I don't think that's like a part of this step before you go into like making a budget or you know , even looking at numbers, just thinking about like what are my goals? What's most important to me? And maybe what have I been doing that's not in line with all of that? So really just getting honest with yourself and then, I mean, it takes time, but I think another part of this step is accepting the fact that like, comparing yourself to anyone else in your financial situation will not help you in any way, especially when you're trying to better it. So that also takes time , but takes , I think those are like two key areas to focus on before you even get into like doing any math.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And those can be the hardest steps . So like taking those first, the money, the math will be easy at that point. As someone who's not great at math, <laugh> the math,
Speaker 3:The math will not
Speaker 2:The math. You grab a calculator and that'll be fine. <laugh> . Yeah. Yeah. And remember if you're comparing yourself, you don't know the real story. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> , it's the same as looking at someone's social. You never know what's actually going on behind closed doors. And I think that that's an important part. My last question before we get into investing in your female friendships, because I want to get into that and this kind of is adjacent to that, but since you have started this platform, do you find that in your day-to-day life? You're talking about it more with your friends?
Speaker 3:Yeah, a hundred percent . I think I am , even if my friends like don't start conversations directly about money, whether it's like career or like home things or relationship things or whatever, there are always like ways to like kind of bring money into it or money is like inherently a part of it, I should say. And so they've definitely become like bigger conversations between, you know, friends and, and family members. And I think, yeah, I mean I'm definitely more open and , uh, educated in general at this point. So I'm able to talk about all of these things with more confidence with them and maybe they feel like they can talk to me more about it now, you know, that I have this platform because it can also come from a more objective place. Like yeah, I'm your friend or your family member, but I'm, you know, the the person doing the work in the research behind this and we're , this is what we're doing, we're talking about money, so let's talk about it and we can talk about it without judgment.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I feel like you create a safe space to be able to do that and it's nice that that's like flowing into your day-to-day life too. Yeah . Which is great. You're just the money girl. Anytime anybody needs it.
Speaker 3:Honestly, never thought that someone would be calling me the money girl, but kind of nice to hear <laugh> .
Speaker 2:Yeah . Own it . Um , own you recently had an episode like you mentioned as well as the blog post and IG polls about investing in your friendships, which I loved. And I mentioned to you earlier that it made me take a step back and think about the value of investing our time and energy and money into friendships because I've always been a very big proponent of my friendships and like now I'm balancing owning a business and doing that and like, that's been interesting. Friendships .
Speaker 3:Yeah .
Speaker 2:Really gotta start to narrow down who you're spending all this time with . But , um, but I do think that I, like, I think about the sex and the city quote often. I can't remember it directly, but it's something along the lines of like, your friends are your soulmate. And I feel that way very deeply about like my core, core friends, but, and we can get into that later, but can you talk about what inspired the idea of this episode for you? Where it came from, why it's so important to you, why we went there?
Speaker 3:Yeah. I, you know what it really was just realizing having like a moment , uh, this is probably like a week before I recorded the episode, just really thinking about like how many amazing female friendships I've cultivated. And I was just feeling like really grateful for all of those connections. I had like met up with a couple of friends that week to like, have coffee and I felt really honestly proud and like happy about like, maintaining all of those relationships. Like a couple of the girls that I met up with, I've been friends with since sixth grade and you know, we're still just as close. And I was also thinking about, which is something I wanna talk more about related to friendships and we'll probably do a poll about this, but how much those friendships have improved my quality of life. And I think we talk about quality of life a lot as it relates to money, right? Like for example, how how much money you make affects your quality of life, right? But investing like the time and energy effort in today's relationships has really like improved my life and my wellbeing and my mental health. And so a lot of those conversations that I, I had that week were about lifting each other up and like just helping each other like with whatever we needed and really just like wanting to help all of my friends succeed. And I think part of growing up and like getting older is maybe getting past, I mean, let's hope for most people, but getting past a lot of like, feelings of jealousy and bitterness, especially between women. Like we're , we're so often like pitted against each other and in competition. And now I think at this stage of the game and because of what I do with shmoney , like there's just no place for that for me. There's no room for that anymore. Like I think like let's share, like let's empower and like let's help each other out in whatever way we can. And so that all kind of inspired all of this like friendship content if you'll
Speaker 2:<laugh> . I love that. And I think that that's so true. I saw, I think it was probably the day after I listened to the episode, I saw someone post this , uh, thing on Instagram that was like a graph and it was like how much time you spend with your parents, like throughout your, the ages of your life and then how much time you spend with your friends and the friends one went down so deeply, like at the family age, I would say, right? People started having families. I would say between mid 30 to 45 is when it like started to dip. And I was so sad because I was like, I have different chunks of friend groups. Like Mark has a 30 person friend group. I have friends that are like my, like friends from university, my deep friends, my, my business friends, all of those things. And I don't, I'm definitely, I think you said this on the podcast too, but I'm definitely the friend that's like, not always there every single second of the day, but like, if you need me or if we are catching up, like it will always be like we never left. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> . And so I feel like I was sad about it because I think that they do add so much to my life. Like they have gotten me through so many things and I've been thinking a lot probably because of Alex Earl . I don't know why, but I just feel like I watched her spend time with all of her girlfriends and I've been thinking so much probably 'cause I'm old now about the fact that like, I just used to wake up and like spend the morning with my friends and talk to them about everything that was happening in my life. And now those moments are so like few and far between just when we make time to do that that I find them so special. Those are the moments that I think are the most important. Not of everything in my life, but a big chunk of them. And I feel a lot of gratitude for that. And I don't think that we think enough about the time and the effort that we put in to create that we're just like, oh, this is so great. Or like, Hey, do you wanna hang out? But when you mentioned it on the podcast and you started looking at it from that lens, I thought that that was so magical to talk about because it's like we've spent years of our life telling these people all of our deep secrets and they've tiered you on and that's so beautiful and it needs to be celebrated more. Anyways, that was my long monologue about <laugh> .
Speaker 3:Yeah .
Speaker 2:Much . I love my friends <laugh> .
Speaker 3:I I really love what you said there and yeah, like any of your friends that are listening to this, like if I was your friend, I'd be like, Aw , <laugh> . Like , this is
Speaker 2:So sweet . You're my friend now.
Speaker 3:Yes, yes. We're besties . Yeah. I I just think too, like, like you said, it is kind of sad to even have like a visual like that, right? Like yeah. How much like less time we spend together as we get older and obviously there's like, you know, various reasons, but yeah , I just immediately think about, I mean talking about like , uh, division of labor and like relationships and everything, especially during Covid, right? Like how many women like literally did not see anyone from their friend group during that time. Yeah . Because not only because of restrictions, but also because they were with their kids 24 7 inside the house. And yeah, I mean like there is, there's just so much to like share and be enjoyed, especially in female friendships and there's so important, I think it's, it's worth, you know, the time and energy and investment for
Speaker 2:Sure. I totally agree. And I think that all of those things put together like all of those random thoughts that I just shared and your episode <laugh> like literally made me, as soon as a friend has messaged me in the last couple weeks being like , we should do this. I'm like, let's book it. I'm booking it right now because I want this to be a part of it. And it also shifted, which I , I guess is how I'll get into this, but there's a, there's an age group in your life when a lot of things are happening at the same time and it can be overwhelming from a money sense. And I think that reminding myself of everything that's happening in the greater part of my life because of these friends has really impacted how I look at that too. So for the person listening, what are ways that you think we invest in our friends just in case they haven't listened to your episode yet? And I will link it so that they can, but what do you think that we can do to invest in our friends, whether it's money or time? Because I think that it's an important note that you made in the podcast episode that it can be both.
Speaker 3:I think first get clear on what feels good for you. Exactly. Like what can you afford personally? And , and then financially and by personally, I mean like what are your boundaries really? Like do you wanna be saying yes to everything, just to like maintain a friendship? Um, and then what do you want outta your relationships? Right? That kind of ties into boundaries, but if you don't wanna spend a lot of money then like make time to reach out. Like add a reminder to your calendar, remember important dates, so like mark down birthdays or anniversaries or whatever. And I think like just shooting someone a text could like make their day. Also when you do connect with someone, like go deeper into conversation . Like if you are taking the time to catch up, like go a little like beyond, you know, those like icebreaker like small talk kind of questions. Like, you know, what's, what's really going on in their life or what are you interested in talking about? Like share that with them. And then I think another tip I gave in that episode was like share laughter. I think that's so important. Having like a little inside joke with someone could like literally be harped on for years. <laugh> so true. Like sharing like a meme, right? Um, that you think is funny and that you think they'll find funny or like a post or whatever. Just finding little areas to like connect like that I think is everything.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I totally agree. I feel like showing people that you've thought of them through something is there , there are very few feelings that are better than knowing that someone saw something random and thought of you. I think that that's so special on the boundary front. I know that it can be uncomfortable for some people in certain situations. You have any advice on, on what to do? I have thoughts <laugh> like let's say you get invited to do something or you're not financially in the right space to be able to, to keep up with everything that's happening in your friend group for example.
Speaker 3:Hmm . Yeah, that's a good question. I think if it more pertains to like money then maybe like in like emotional kind of .
Speaker 2:Yeah, I feel like on the money side <laugh>.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean there's definitely like stuff we could talk about on the other side too, but let's say like you really, it would just stress you out to go to this one dinner or like take this trip with your girlfriends or whatever. I think there's like a nice way to be honest about it and if someone's gonna like be upset or like judge you for maybe not being able to afford something, then that's maybe like a time for you to like reflect on like what kind of friend that person is to you. But I think there's a way to say like, hey, things are a little tight right now. Or you don't even have to say that. Like, Hey, I would really love to come, but I'm just not in a position right now to do this . You know, if there's like another time that you wanna hang out before or after and we could like catch up on the trip, like that would be great. I think just being honest because then you're not like put in a position where, I don't know, let's say your girlfriends do go on that trip and then they come back and they ask you like , you know what you did and you make up some elaborate story just so you don't have to say like what, like it was gonna stress you out financially. Like what's the better option? So hundred percent . I know it can be hard, but I think, you know, once you actually start, like, I kind of hate this phrase nowadays , but like doing the work on your, your money mindset and your money in general, like these things generally become more comfortable. I mean they definitely have for me just speaking from personal, personal experience, but yeah, just like, just be honest.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that that's important and I think that as we continue conversations and making it more common to be able to talk openly about money without feeling the stress or the taboo of it, it probably becomes a lot easier and it's so much easier to explain what's actually happening and then like, you don't even have to get into it, but you can like make that one line instead of being like, actually like my grandma's uncle has a birthday party that I have to go to
Speaker 3:<laugh> . Yeah. Yeah. And you know what, like think of it this way too, if it takes the pressure off because doing what I do with this podcast , especially , like , I can tell you and I've heard from many, many people that maybe with exception of like some extremely wealthy people, everyone feels the same way about money and has had or has the same thoughts or feelings about talking about it, about like money itself. So like just really cut the, you know, like there <laugh> there's no, there's no like reason for beating around the bush in a sense. It's like if you're honest about it, it actually, again, once we start this conversation, like it encourages the other person to be more open about it too or be like, oh, okay, hold on. Like you pick up on things, right? Like they were able to be honest about that. Well now I can be honest with them about the way I'm feeling and it just kind of like , like melts that, that awkward like kind of taboo. So Yeah . Yeah. Just beyond ,
Speaker 2:It's literally investing in your openness with your friendships when you're telling the honest truth about what's going on in your life. Yeah . And if you think about it from the other way, like if we're planning a girls trip and you say like, I'm not comfortable or I can't do that right now, I would never be like, what the wrong with you
Speaker 3:<laugh>? Yeah. You know ? No , exactly . Exactly. And that's where we come back to like, well maybe that's like, hey red flag, right? Yeah. Like, is that the type of person that I wanna hang out with and be friends with? Because if they told me that they were like strapped and that they couldn't come on this trip, then I would be like, okay, no biggie. Yeah. So like it's a two-way street and I think that's something I stress in the episode too is like, you know, I think it's important not to go into friendships expecting everything you say and do and give back because you're only going to be disappointed, especially as an adult <laugh> . Yeah. But it's like a two-way street, like a , a reciprocal effort is like nice in some way. So yeah. I I just think like surround yourself with people that you know are gonna be be good friends. Yeah.
Speaker 2:<laugh> be good to you. Yeah , exactly . And if you don't, you can come hang out with us and we'll be nice to you and talk about money and you won't feel shame . Yeah . Mm-Hmm , <affirmative> . Okay , let's get in to our every episode questions. First and foremost, we love a recommendation. What are you currently reading, listening to or loving that we should check out? Or just something that you love in general? It doesn't have to be recent and it doesn't have to be about money or it can be
Speaker 3:Love that I love like a rapid fire round like this. Good .
Speaker 2:Um,
Speaker 3:I, okay, so I'll give two things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, please do.
Speaker 3:Actually three, three quick ones. So reading, I'm currently reading the Yellow wallpaper and other short stories by the one and only Charlotte Perkins Gilman. She's like one of, I mean that was one of my favorite short stories in high school and now I like have the book. She's, you know, one of the original like feminist, you know , American authors. She's great. Highly recommend listening to Shmoney obviously and Doja Cat's new album because she's just ,
Speaker 2:It's so good .
Speaker 3:She's the,
Speaker 2:I'm sorry , honestly the
Speaker 3:Coolest and her and her shaved head. Like
Speaker 2:Obsessed.
Speaker 3:Yeah, obsessed .
Speaker 2:No notes.
Speaker 3:Yes, no notes. <laugh> , um, also listening to and loving pretty smart with Danielle Robe . She's just like,
Speaker 2:Danielle's such a queen,
Speaker 3:Honestly . Yeah . I love her .
Speaker 2:Like she's the greatest person.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Love her. Like thoughtfulness and just like really respect her from like a journalistic standpoint too. Yeah. Um, yeah,
Speaker 2:That was one of my favorite episodes I ever did is with Danielle. Yeah . And I remember she was talking about, she actually talked a lot about like how you can always be doing things for other people and not having to do, having them do things for you. And she was telling me this story about how her dad said, you can collect, I dunno , I can't quote it properly, but it was about like beautiful happenings in your life. And I was like literally talking to her and the sun was going down and I am obsessed with sunsets and I remember having the conversation convers and being like, this is a moment, like this is one of the moments that she's literally telling me about right now, but she's just like the greatest human and she's so kind and I love her. So shout out to Danielle <laugh> . Yeah . And also her podcast episodes are so good. Yes. The woman knows how to ask questions.
Speaker 3:She does shout out and if you're listening to this, we love you, you're a queen <laugh> ,
Speaker 2:You're, you're a queen. Uh , she also gave me excellent Chicago recommendations if you're ever going . Love that . Uh , I have a list from her. Uh , what is your favorite thing about yourself?
Speaker 3:Oh , I have to be honest. I hate this question
Speaker 2:<laugh> . I know everyone hates this question, but every time they say that they're like, this is it. And it's like such a beautiful answer. So I can't take , I can't take it off <laugh> .
Speaker 3:Okay , well I will , I'll answer obviously . I think maybe my favorite thing about is that I'm a good listener and thoughtful because of it. Yeah. I think I , I agree
Speaker 2:<laugh> and I think that that's why you're good at what you do. Um, who is somebody that keeps you thinking?
Speaker 3:Someone who keeps me thinking is definitely my husband. Um , Mike, he is like always my source of debate. Um, whenever I wanna like fight someone on something, he is always willing and ready to play devil's advocate. But yeah, he's just like, he's so incredibly intelligent and creative and like cerebral. So I just love talking with him. He always, I love that he always keeps me big and keeps me like enraged <laugh> about <laugh> .
Speaker 2:That's a quality everyone needs in a partner . <laugh> keeping you enraged.
Speaker 3:A hundred percent .
Speaker 2:Yeah . What is the best advice that you've ever received?
Speaker 3:It's don't worry, no matter what everything is going to be okay. And those are literally my dad's words that he gave me when I was in that accident and they just like stuck with me. And really it is just as simple as that. Like he always called me a worrier growing up and it really is like everything's gonna be okay. Like at the end of the day, even if hits the fan, like it's gonna be fine. And I think once I accepted that, everything changed. So I think that's beautiful. Best advice. Yeah . Advice . I love
Speaker 2:That. And finally, where can people find you? How can they listen to all of your work and read it? Tell us all the things
Speaker 3:You can find. Shmoney Radio at Shmoney Radio , <laugh> on any platform. Pretty much the podcast is available, like wherever you listen to your podcasts. You can find me at Anastasia Bar Bootsy . My website is also the same, so if you wanna like go learn more or like check out any of my other work can find me at that website. And yeah, I think that's it.
Speaker 2:Amazing. Thank you for sharing your story and for doing all of the work that you do. I really do think that it's incredibly important and I'm so glad that you're here.
Speaker 3:Thank you. Yeah. I'm so happy to be here. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of The Thinking About Podcast. I hope it got you thinking and keeps you thinking for days to come. If the episode inspired you, excited you, or gave you something to think about, please feel free to send it to a loved one or a friend. And if you really loved it, you can leave us a rating and review wherever you get your podcast. It helps to show grow, it helps us tell our guests how important they are to you. And of course it lets you help me know what keeps you thinking so we can bring on amazing guests. Thanks again for tuning in and we'll see you next week.