Today, we're thinking about the unknown paths life takes us down, how grief can shape you and how it can shape you into becoming all that you are with Kena Paranjape of All You Are.
Kena Paranjape is the founder of All You Are, an empowerment platform and community for women. In addition to founding All You Are, Kena is the co-founder of recently acquired BRIKA, an innovative retail concept focused on highlighting and supporting emerging artisans and designers. Kena has 20 years of experience in retail at brands like Indigo, Joe Fresh, and Gap, as well as a high-end eco-friendly boutique concept. She was most recently the VP of Merchandising at Houseplant, Seth Rogen’s cannabis company where she was responsible for bringing to market their award-winning cannabis accessories collection.
Kena is originally from the east coast, and now lives with her six-year-old daughter in Toronto. She has a BSc from McGill and an MBA from the University of Toronto. You can catch Kena on her podcast, Be All You Are on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
In this episode, we discuss:
CONNECT WITH KENA
On Instagram at @kena_allyouare
On her website allyouare.ca
Sign up for her free, 3-day workshop Clarity, Confidence and Courage: Transform Your Career & Life at Any Age
Listen to Be All You Are Podcast on Apple and Spotify
Hosted by @kirstimcnabney
Find links, inspiration and updates on @thinkingaboutpodcast
This episode was edited by Amanda Wan of Wan Media
Today, we're thinking about the unknown paths life takes us down, how grief can shape you and how it can shape you into becoming all that you are with Kena Paranjape of All You Are.
Kena Paranjape is the founder of All You Are, an empowerment platform and community for women. In addition to founding All You Are, Kena is the co-founder of recently acquired BRIKA, an innovative retail concept focused on highlighting and supporting emerging artisans and designers. Kena has 20 years of experience in retail at brands like Indigo, Joe Fresh, and Gap, as well as a high-end eco-friendly boutique concept. She was most recently the VP of Merchandising at Houseplant, Seth Rogen’s cannabis company where she was responsible for bringing to market their award-winning cannabis accessories collection.
Kena is originally from the east coast, and now lives with her six-year-old daughter in Toronto. She has a BSc from McGill and an MBA from the University of Toronto. You can catch Kena on her podcast, Be All You Are on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
In this episode, we discuss:
CONNECT WITH KENA
On Instagram at @kena_allyouare
On her website allyouare.ca
Sign up for her free, 3-day workshop Clarity, Confidence and Courage: Transform Your Career & Life at Any Age
Listen to Be All You Are Podcast on Apple and Spotify
Hosted by @kirstimcnabney
Find links, inspiration and updates on @thinkingaboutpodcast
This episode was edited by Amanda Wan of Wan Media
Welcome to The Thinking About Podcast, your digital equivalent to late night chats with good friends that keep you thinking I'm Kirsty . And together we'll join interesting people for deep, meaningful conversations that will help elevate our lives, leave us with actionable outcomes and keep us thinking for days to come. Welcome back to the Thinking About podcast. My name is Kirsty and I'm your host. If we've never met before, thank you so much for being here and if we have, thank you for coming back. The official bio of today's guest is absolutely incredible. Kana PPE is the founder of All. You are an empowerment platform and community for women. In addition to founding all you are , she's also the co-founder of the recently acquired Bria , an innovative retail concept focused on highlighting and supporting emerging artisans and designers. She has 20 years of experience in retail at brands like Indigo Joe Fresh and Gap , as well as high-end Eco-friendly boutique concept. She was most recently the VP of merchandising at Houseplant, which is Seth Rogan's cannabis company where she was responsible for bringing to market their award-winning cannabis accessories collection. She's originally from the East coast and now lives with her 6-year-old daughter in Toronto. She has A BSC from McGill and an MBA from the University of Toronto. And if you're not impressed enough, you can also catch her on her podcast. Be All U are on Apple Podcasts or Spotify weekly. As you can tell from that intro, Cana is a high achiever. She's held impressive roles at companies that I personally have wanted to be something at <laugh> for over a decade. But what you won't necessarily see on her LinkedIn profile, as she perfectly describes it in this episode, is the life outside of her professional life. The one where her husband got sick at 30 while she was building a thriving career and how for the following years after the time he spent in the ICU, she cared for him while her friends bought houses, had families, and did air quotes All of the things that you should be doing. Kenna's story is incredible. Not only because I brought her to a place where she stopped living by patriarchal societal rules and began living from a space of intuition and self-awareness, but also because she's then turned it into her life's mission to help other women do the same. We dive into so much more than just the highlights on today's episode, but what rings through the whole episode is how every moment has brought lessons to get her to where she is now. And I feel like we talk about that a lot on the podcast, but it's really easy in the day-to-Day to like get caught up with what you have to do and not necessarily how every step gets either . So I'm glad that we have a moment to take that all in. In today's episode, you'll hear us talk about her personal journey, what she's learned from grief, why women feel like they need permission to move forward with their goals sometimes, how to hone in on what it is that you actually want. And ultimately at the end of this conversation, I think we really get to a point of discovering how to become all you are, which is her main goal. Kaya's energy and outlook on life is incredibly inspiring. If you've been here for a while , you'll probably already know that she was the keynote at the Permission to Pivot event earlier this year and she's been blowing me away with her beautiful mind ever since. I'm so excited to have her on the show today to let you hear from her and learn from her. Be sure to tune in to the Be All You Are podcast so that you can get even more wisdom on a weekly basis. And reach out to us on Instagram to let us know what kept you thinking from today's episode. You can find all of the ways to connect with us in the show notes, so please feel free to do that. And if you're listening to this when it comes out a K before November 13th, you want more Cana in your life because honestly who wouldn't? She is hosting a free three day workshop series starting November 13th called Clarity, confidence, and Courage, transform Your Career and Life at any age Over the three days, you have an opportunity to get clarity on what it is that you really want, confidence to create the life you want and tools to help you harness the courage to take action, which is all things that we talked about in the episode. You can find that link to sign up in the show notes as well. I hope that you enjoy today's conversation, that it inspires you to be all you are because you deserve that. And I hope that you have a great week. We'll see you next week.
Speaker 2:Hello and welcome to The Thinking About Podcast. Um, we were just saying offline how long this has been on the book , so I'm so excited that it's finally happening. Thank you for being here. I knew going into this that it was gonna be an amazing conversation. No pressure, but I'm so comfort about it . <laugh> , to get started, can you give us a quick intro and then we're gonna dive into all the things.
Speaker 3:Okay, great. I find that for me a quick intro can be tricky, so, but I will do my best. So , uh, my name is Cana Perpe and I am the founder of All You Are, which is a platform and community for women to focus on stepping into all they are and to live their best life from that place. And so I do that through one-on-one coaching. I do it through events, through um , masterminds for female entrepreneurs and through group programs. Prior to that I spent 20 years working in the retail space for brands like Old Navy, Joe Fresh, indigo Banana Republic, and I, my, my most recent full-time gig, I was the VP of brand and merchandising for Houseplant, which is Seth Rogan's lifestyle cannabis company. And I always say that there is a, you know, life on my LinkedIn profile and a whole life lived off of my LinkedIn profile and I know we're gonna get into some of that today. But the work I do today through all you are really weaves together my business experience as an entrepreneur and also working in the corporate world and my personal life experience.
Speaker 2:I love it. That was a perfect short intro for all of the things that are on your list of things that you've accomplished in this world world. I feel like you did a great job pulling it all together. <laugh>
Speaker 3:Oh, thank you. To
Speaker 2:Start every episode because it's called the Thinking about podcast. What currently has you thinking it can be literally what you had for breakfast or anything in the world?
Speaker 3:You know, it's funny because yesterday I posted that it was my , I actually said it was eight years since my husband had passed away, but it was nine. And so that just shows that the years are sort of melding together for me now. And it's, it's funny because what I reflected on in that post was that the further distance I get from the time that he passed, the harder it is to look back and see, or not hard, but it just to reconcile where I was and where I am now. And so there's almost like a feeling of grief for the lack of grief, right? Because at this point, not that I don't look back and feel sadness, but I was a different person then and, and I've learned so much from that time and through my experience with him, but then also that healing period after he passed away. But what I do know, because the day comes and I almost asked myself how do I feel? How should I feel? Right? And then I re I just remind myself that this day is a day to remember, right? And it's a day to remind yourself that we are only here for a short period of time, right? And it is important to take our life seriously and what we want seriously and to do good in the world and to be kind to people and to appreciate all the little and big beautiful things about life. And so that is, that is very top of mind for me today because it was a moment that I experienced yesterday.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I actually, that story that you posted had me thinking because, so for anyone who is not familiar , um, there was a story about gratitude of all the things that you have in your life and all of those moments. And I was thinking about grief and just the fact that it's not linear and I struggle with things that are not linear. 'cause I just like, I just like wanna get to the end game <laugh>. And then I was thinking about like how hard that must have been. And we can't get into the actual story 'cause you're in your thirties when that happened. And like, that's a really big thing. I'm in my thirties right now, I have a partner that I care very deeply about. My whole world can shift in any moment is what your story has taught me. But like how do you go from that happening to then finding gratitude in everything and finding the joy and also using it to support other people with the lessons that you've learned. Is that something that was easy to do or was it something that came as you healed?
Speaker 3:You know, as you were asking that question, I was sort of of in my mind going back to when did that begin this appreciation for things. And I actually think it, it began when he was ill because I think when those years when he was so unwell and things were so off course right and nothing felt okay, part of how we learn to survive and to get through those things with our head above water right, is to find the good even while we're going through those things, right? So whether it's like a particularly kind nurse who just gets you and who look shows affection for you and, and you know that your family who's going through this, or if it's a friend who's like thoughtfully brings you a coffee to the hospital, right? Like, I think I learned or like going for a walk because walking was always my kind of escape, right? As sort of going for a walk and taking in the weather and and seeing like the sky is still blue, the earth is still moving in spite of what I'm going through these, the world is still continuing and it is still beautiful, right? And I think that became one of my tools for getting through that period of time. And because I used it so often now it's, it's much easier for me to access. And, and I really did learn that it's like how you see something, like how you choose to see something is how you experience it , right? And so through that experience and then afterwards I've just kind of gone back to that over and over again. And like through the work that I do, I encourage others to do the , the same thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I think that it's so beautiful that you have translated a story of something that was probably, well it was difficult in your life into helping other people. Like I just think that that's the best thing that you could do from that. You know? Can you catch anyone up? Just 'cause I feel like <laugh> , I like really dove into the fact that I already know your personal life story, but can you fill people in on what happened in your thirties and before we get into all the ways that it shaped you and then the collective us because of you <laugh> .
Speaker 3:Oh, you're so sweet. Um, yeah . So when I was 30 I was, I'd been married to my high school sweetheart for a few years by then we lived in San Francisco and I was working for Gap and I had this job that I loved and he was in the medical device startup industry and he had gone away for business and got really sick and essentially like in the ICU doctors calling saying, you have to come right away. And that phone call really changed the trajectory of everything for our lives. And he was in the ICU for four months on and off, like, you know, hovering around death. Like it was that to that extreme right. Like they were not sure what was gonna happen and they were trying everything they could. And then when he was able to leave the hospital eventually had stabilized, he had some serious medical issues, right? And they were lifelong, they weren't fixable, right? There was like things you could do to try to live with them, but they weren't fixable. So we had to accept right then and there that we were going to be living a life that focused a lot on maintaining his health, on putting out health fires, you know, as they came up and that he would not be living into his old age. And you know , again, we were 30 at the time this happened, and for the next eight , eight years we lived with that, right? And it was when we were 38 that he, you know, sort of started to decline and passed away in the fall of 2014. Yeah . So I mean the , I guess like when I look back on that time now, I think one of the hardest things about it was what I expected that time period to look like versus what it was, right? Because when I looked around at all my friends, they were kind of free spirits, right? Like in your thirties you've left behind a little bit of that angst of your twenties, right? And, and , and you're kind of feeling excited and a little bit have of confidence of like where you're headed and you are maybe dating or in a serious relationship and, you know, whatever. I, I , now I throw all that stuff out the window <laugh> , but I'm taking you back to like my 30-year-old mindset, right? Yeah . Mindset . And people are like putting down payments on homes or they're thinking about having children and they're going on holidays and I looked around me and that's the life of all my friends, but it wasn't mine. And so yeah, it was a , it was one of those life-changing periods of time.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I'm glad that you brought that up. 'cause I read it on your probably about page I would assume, but I've heard you talk about it before and I think of my life, like I work for myself and there are days which check myself as I say this, but like there are days where I'm like, I don't really wanna get married, I don't wanna have kids and I'm working for myself like I'm this big weirdo because my life feels different than the goals that everyone else has. And then I think about like, you may have had some of those goals and you had to deal with that in a totally different way. If someone is going through something like that, or there's a different version of their life where, where their life looks different than everyone around them, what is your advice as someone who's gone through it to keep going and just like be okay with where you are, even if it's not something that you ever would've wanted? Yeah,
Speaker 3:I mean, I think one of the most powerful things that I've learned, and I have a dear friend who sort of gave me this thought at a moment where I really needed it, is that your soul has a destiny and life is going to throw things at you that are a part of you achieving that de destiny or reaching that destiny. So, believe me, when this happened with my husband, and when people said things to me like, God only can gives you what you can handle, I wanted to punch them in the face, right? <laugh> , let's be clear. I'm like , um, yeah, that's not fine with me right now. Really, this is because I'm strong. That's why I am getting, no, not okay. But there comes a point where, you know, after you've had that initial shock or that initial grief for like what you wanted versus what it is , right? Or what you expected and versus what it is , there's a moment where you can p pause hopefully and ask yourself, what is this here to teach me? You know, who am I meant to become through this? What is life, spirit, universe? What have you believe in calling me to do here? You know? And then I think it becomes about something so much bigger and you take it, it's like not about anybody else, it's not about like what other people think. It's about your journey, like your soul journey here and how you want your story to go. Right? Like, it's like, I always say that the idea of looking at yourself as the hero in a movie, what does the hero do when things go wrong? Right? Or hit with a massive challenge and hit again and hit again and hit again. Right? Like, then what do they do and how do you wanna show up in your story? That's what I would say. And then I would also say, get lots of support because , um, not that anybody will have the answers for you, but none of us are meant to do this alone.
Speaker 2:A hundred percent . Do you feel like there's a specific time, because looking at it now, nine years later and hearing all the different facets of where your life has been, it feels like it's easy to look back and be like, all of these things happened to like form you into who you are now and all of the things that you're doing. Was there a time that that felt like it clicked for you and you, like saw, saw the reason that you went through what you went through?
Speaker 3:Honestly, I don't think that clicked until recently.
Speaker 2:Really?
Speaker 3:Yeah. So I think that there was, I think that this sense, I think when my husband first became ill, I got this sense that, okay, you all those things that you had planned, you need to get that out of your head because, and, and you know, I'm not, I'm saying these as, as if they're like clips and then the decision was made and I was fine. Yeah , of course it was messy. Like you said, it was not linear, right? Yeah . It's not at all . But there was a point where I was like, okay, like you need to get that out of your head. This, this is different, this is different and this is like unknown and nobody can tell you which way to go or how to handle this. You have to find your own way, right? So I think there was that moment that I had, but I don't think it was, was until recently when I gave myself full permission to ask myself what I really wanted for my future that I realized, oh my gosh. Like I know that I have something to offer because of what I've been through and how I, you know, how my transformation and my healing on the other side, but I actually think it's my life's work. And I think that really only happened recently.
Speaker 2:Wow. Yeah . That's amazing. And I just, I can think of as someone, and this is actually the other question that I told you before we went on air that I wanna ask you, but as someone who like had a life trajectory planned at like 19 when I was a kid, and then it's totally changed since then. And like you're a high achieving person, I can only imagine how that felt at that time to be like on this trajectory in these amazing roles and then have all of that happen. And I think to come full circle today and make it your life's work is just like the most beautiful thing that you could do. Thank
Speaker 3:You. Thank you so much.
Speaker 2:So this is like a little bit of a veering off course, but now that we have the background, I think it all makes sense. Oh yeah. So someone asked me recently what my long-term goal was for my business, and I don't know if I have an answer to that right now. And I felt a lot of shame about it because, but then I was thinking about it a little bit further. I feel like I could give you the values that I'm looking for and what I want in my life, but I'm not like, I want to build this and sell this and then exit, right ? Yeah. And so there was a moment that I was feeling a lot of shame about it, and then I was like, I could have told you at 10 years old that I wanted to be a doctor and then I got to university and that was not what I wanted anymore. And then I had a breakdown. So like, really, is there a reason to do that <laugh> ? So, because I know that you help people really align themselves with like what they wanna be, who they wanna be, how they wanna show up in the world. I wanted to bring this up to you and see what your thought was as someone who has had a life that did not go to the plan that you probably had in your head and what advice you would have there.
Speaker 3:It's funny because I'm like, do I have long-term goals for my business? <laugh>
Speaker 2:<laugh> ? It's a hard question to answer honestly. I'm like, how dare you ask me that <laugh> .
Speaker 3:I know. And the funny thing is, is I, you know, I have business training, I have my MBA, I worked in the corporate world for so many years, and so I get that like, wanting to answer that question. And there is power in answering that because you know, you , you can't know where you're headed if you don't exactly actually put a stake in the ground. But like, one of the things that I've realized is that what we ultimately want is to feel a certain way, like everything that we do, right? Making our homes look nice, buying certain clothes, hanging out with certain people, whatever, eating certain things. In the end , what we want is the feeling we wanna feel a certain way . And so in my mind that this is very different from my business training <laugh> , it's to ask yourself like, how do I wanna feel? Right? Like, how do I wanna feel in my life? What kind of choices do I wanna be able to make? Like, you know, what are sort of the ways I see my life flowing and how do I fill my days ? Right? And backing into that, because if you're somebody who wants to be able to, and I, I say this to women in my, in my , um, fo founders , you know, mastermind groups and things like that, is that if you're somebody who wants to be like, this week was awesome and it is Friday at noon, I'm taking the afternoon off, like I'm heading out, you know, well, if you are going to raise $20 million for your business and, you know, be and be , um, you know, sort of , um, connected to investors, and you can't do that because you answer to them, right? Yeah . So that's different from somebody who's like, I'm gonna build my own small lifestyle business. I I maybe I'll take it to $10 million because I want a team and I want that experience of like making a mark on the world, but then I can take Friday afternoon off if I want. You know? So that's where I always say is like, start with what you want your life to look like, how you wanna feel in your life, and then how you feel that feeling could be in many different ways. And so it opens things up and then it's like you said, if you change your mind about how you get there, that's fine, because you know, is that you want,
Speaker 2:Yeah. My answer was very value space <laugh> . Like, I was like, I can't tell you like if I want to hire people or if I want to go work for another agency or sell an agency or whatever, but I can tell you that I wanna work with clients that I care about that I like, want to be building their business because I'm excited about that. I love the flexibility that I have, like those pieces Yep . Are very important to me. And I think that once I got to that, I felt okay about the answer. I was like, life is gonna change anyways. Like, might as well just know what makes me happy . Yeah . Yeah . And I think that that's an important thing that sometimes people don't do.
Speaker 3:Yep . Yeah. And I think that's very similar. That's a very similar approach to what I'm thinking.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I wanna talk a bit about women and their, I don't know if it's like they need permission, which is ironic that we met during a permission to pivot event <laugh>. Um, but I don't know if it's they're looking for permission or they need a piece of their life to change in order to, to take a step to get to know themselves better. But I see that there's like an overwhelming majority of women at times that don't fully understand all that they are ironically, your title of your business Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> , do you see that as well? And do you think that there's a shift coming?
Speaker 3:I hundred percent see it all the time, and I think like now I have a radar for it, so I'm noticing it and I'm noticing it in the most subtle ways, right? And I'm noticing it for women like across the spectrum, regardless of education, regardless of how senior they are. Like they could be like a VP and still they're not giving themselves permission, you know? Um, and so I , I think it is pervasive and I think, you know, there's a lot of reasons for that. But , um, I think it is starting to change because I think there's a point where maybe this happened before, but now women are not just questioning that feeling when it comes up, which is, okay, I've done all the things I'm supposed to do and, you know, maybe I've achieved success, you know, on, on certain, on certain sort of external terms that I thought would bring me the fulfillment and happiness that I wanted. And I'm not really feeling that I'm there and I feel like I'm meant to do more. I'm meant to be more, but that feeling is scary because what do you mean, I've done all the things I'm supposed to do, right? But I think in the past, women would just sort of push that aside and say, well, oh, well this is life. Like, I ha I'm lucky I have a job, or whatever it is, you know, the thing to do. And now I think that there's this sense of like, but what if I could do something else? Or what if I could pursue this path that really excites me? Or what if I listen to that inner voice that's telling me that I should just go explore over here? You know? And so what I think is, is that the more women who wake up to that feeling and step into it, because you know what, in a lot of ways we think that we've achieved success because we can technically do, and , and you know, this is arguable and in some parts of the world, it's not the case, but we can technically do what men do, right? Like, we can technically go to work, we can technically go get our degrees, we can do all these things, but at the same time, we're still doing it from , um, the point of view of, well, now we can do what men can do. Right? Like, there's still a little bit of that now I think women are starting to wake up to, but what do I wanna do? Like how do I want my life to look like? What do I feel are my gifts? And how can I make those into like a living or into my superpower and, and feel like my highest self because I am focused on living from that place? You know, I guess my, my main point is that yes, women are waking up to it. And I think that if more women wake up to it and then actually take action from that place, that's how we slowly start shifting the dynamic in the world, right? That's how we get more women speaking up and using their authentic voices and taking on leadership roles and being more powerful. It all starts with feeling more powerful here, right? It's not just about getting some fancy job title. We need to feel powerful here in order to be more powerful out in the world.
Speaker 2:100% . I think that it's so important to be able to do that. And I do to your point, think that it's very scary for a lot of people. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> and I have this conversation a lot is like, dthe was on the podcast a couple weeks ago and she was like, I just don't wanna be stagnant. So I make decisions because I don't wanna live a life of stagnant. But I think that on the other hand, stagnant is also like a stable life that you're in. Yeah . And like you've worked hard to get there so that it , there's like this tough dynamic. Yeah . And I think to your earlier point, that support is also a good way to get there.
Speaker 3:Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> , if you're doing it with other people, then a , you don't feel as alone because otherwise you do feel like a little bit like a fish swimming upstream, right? Oh yeah . Like everybody's this way and you're trying to go that way. But if you like find your own little school of fish and you like kind of like nudge each other on, I'm saying this 'cause I just saw the salmon <laugh> salmon
Speaker 2:Swimming up . It's a really good analogy though . I
Speaker 3:Know. So it's very top of mind . But yeah, you've had your own little friends that you find and you swim upstream with them, then it's like, you know, it's like you, you feel like you've got each other's back and it doesn't feel as daunting
Speaker 2:And you don't talk yourself out of it because you're actually having conversations with people that are like, oh my God, I feel that too. And I think that that line, even if it's not, I feel that too. Or I've, it could be I have felt that too. Or I understand what you're feeling. I think that those are some of the most powerful things that you can say to anyone. Yes. Which is why I like podcasting. 'cause you hear stories and you're like, oh yeah, this is like actually normal. These things that I'm feeling. So I think that that's, I think it's a really important point and it gives people the belief that they can keep doing it. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> even on the days that are hard for them personally. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> . So anyways, that's me on my soapbox. <laugh> <laugh> .
Speaker 3:I'm right there with you. Something
Speaker 2:That I think is really interesting is that you have gone from corporate to entrepreneurship, back to corporate and then entrepreneurship again. And I think that there's this like, sometimes this just mindset that people are like, I have to work for myself. And that's like the goal and the best thing ever. And like, it's not even a mindset. I think it's just like spouted out on social media that that's the only way to be successful, which I do not agree with. I also think that there's a lot of people that will do corporate to entrepreneurship. And then especially this year, I've been hearing people go backwards, not even backwards, go lateral, wherever they wanna go. But there's a lot of shame in that if you are an entrepreneur. So I wanted to ask you, as someone who has shifted everywhere, what that felt like and why you felt okay to make all of those changes. I have a guess of what your answer is, but I wanna hear it from you. <laugh>
Speaker 3:<laugh> . Well, I think for me it does go back to what do you need and how do you wanna feel, right? So in my most recent transition from entrepreneurship, I was the co-founder of Bria , which was an platform. It was omnichannel, e-commerce, and offline for , um, highlighting, highlighting under the radar artisans and designers. And I left that business and then, you know, had started all you are, but all you are started with a product. It was the , um, a women's robe, which you can still get on the cipher, 50% off, just so you know, I'm moving out that business. So anyway, that, that , um, and , and you know, I had been an entrepreneur for six years. My husband had passed away while I was an entrepreneur. I had met somebody at this point, we'd had a baby and there was a phase where I felt like I need to ground myself somewhere. Right? So again, I was like listening, what do I need? What do I need right now? What do I want right now? But it doesn't mean that I sacrificed , um, again, what I wanted. There's like, again, what I need and what I want and what I wanted. I didn't sacrifice. So I did go and interview at a lot of corporate companies and knew from the moment I stepped into the door, like, I won't last here <laugh> . And if I do last I'll be miserable. Yeah . I'll just be, you know, trying to abide my time. And so I was really intentional about what kind of job would give me what I want right now. And I, there it wasn't that I could see exactly what that job was, but I knew the attributes of it. Right. And like basically putting that out there and if you believe in manifesting, which I do, I feel that I really put out there what I wanted and had a belief that it existed. Right. And that led me to my role at Houseplant. Right. And which was like very entrepreneurial, you know, they had enough funding that I wasn't getting paid in equity <laugh> with a stipend or something like that. I was getting paid. Well, it was still creative. It was still something that made me feel like I had actually taken a step forward in my career. Right? Not just not a step back into a , a job, but a step forward into something exciting. But you know what? I, just to be practical, there are times when need is more important than want. And I don't think we should ever give up on want ever, ever, ever. But there's times where we just need to focus on what we need in the short term and then keep our eye on what we want in the long term . So I just wanna be fair and say that as well.
Speaker 2:I love that. And I think that that's an important part too. I'm just thinking about the understanding of what you want, because I think that that can be hard sometimes, especially given all the pressures of society. And you actually have a line on your website that says it's really easy, especially in this day and age to get lost in what you should be doing because of everyone else. Mm-Hmm.
Speaker 3:<affirmative> ,
Speaker 2:Do you find, 'cause you work with a lot of women who are going through these exact things, do you find that women have a hard time figuring out what it is that they actually want? Or do you think that they know?
Speaker 3:That's good. I'm glad you added that. <laugh> . I think it's both of those things. I think it's that I think that they truly believe that they don't know. Like, and, and some of them don't, right. But I think more do know and they just haven't, we talked about permission, they haven't allowed themselves to even go there because it feels too farfetched or too much of a change or I couldn't do that. Or, you know, all these sort of blocks to how, why that could be possible for them. And, and so a lot of times, you know, getting clear on what you want, even that's the first step. But that step can take the longest because once you know what you want, then it's like, okay, let's go. Right <laugh> . Yeah. But getting, getting clear on what you want and, and, and you know what, it's fair, sometimes it takes baby steps. Sometimes it's like, I don't want to, I want flexibility, so I'm gonna take my job and instead I'm gonna be a consultant. Right? So that's like the first step of I know I want this and then, you know, you continue from there. But for some women they do kind of get to an aha where they're like, wow, this is what I really want. You know? Really .
Speaker 2:What do you think the next steps are when it comes to finding that aha and moving forward? Because I think that there's also this place, and I could be wrong, but I'm just saying from own conversations is like, you can know what you want, but it can still be scary.
Speaker 3:Yes. Yes. Totally. I mean, I think one of the biggest like, like forms of resistance that people, women feel when they figure out what they want is being new at something again. Right? Like, it , it's like, and , and I'm talking, even if you go from being full-time to a consultant, you have to now sell your services as a consultant, right? So that requires like selling yourself versus, you know, the one time when you apply for a job and that you sold yourself in the interview and then you were done. Right? <laugh> <laugh> . And so it's constantly learning new things when you wanna take on something new. And we have been taught in many ways that success looks like being an expert. And you just are on this path to be an expert and then you're an expert for the rest of your life. When we all know that like a life of growth and a life of expansion, you cannot stay the expert in everything. Like if you wanna have a boring life, then just be an expert, right? That's basically, basically like , you know, the short way of saying it. And so I think it's being able to tolerate your mediocrity, your mediocrity as you are taking on, you know, this new thing that you wanna explore and not being great at it and having confidence in all the things you've done that have led up to this point. And having confidence in your desire . Like the fact that you want it is enough, right? And then just being okay with the fact that it's gonna take you a bit of time to get it right. And I think especially for women later in life, that's very difficult. 'cause they're used to kind of sitting like, you know, on top of the pyramid a little bit and like just being like the person that everybody goes to. And now you have to like kind of come down a little bit in order to grow and expand even more.
Speaker 2:I love that answer. That's one of my favorite answers I've ever gotten on the podcast. And I actually, I always joke that I'm just gonna like, make motivational signs on my whole wall from things that come from the podcast to remind myself on tough days. But x being an expert is living a life of mediocrity is literally the greatest quote of all time. <laugh>. Thank you. I think that, that's so true. What is something that you are challenging yourself to not be an expert in right now?
Speaker 3:Oh my gosh. I feel like every day I'm <laugh> I'm doing
Speaker 2:Something
Speaker 3:<laugh> . I mean, when I started doing group programs a year ago or over a year ago now, I had never had a , I had never hosted a group program before. I had no idea what I was doing, right? And like today, I mean, these days I am learning how to build an online service-based business. And it's like a whole new world and requires a whole new set of skills that I'm learning and, and developing every day . And it's pushing me, pushing me outta my comfort zone like you wouldn't believe. But again, because I know what I want, because I'm clear on the outcome and my mission, my why, right? Behind all of it. To me it's like, okay, well let's go. This is , this is what I've gotta do, this is what I've gotta do. And I think that's why it is so important that you do start with your, your what you want and, and the why behind what you want. Like taking it one step further because that's the thing that's going to motivate you and like push you up that hill when you feel like, oh my gosh, I don't have the right shoes and my backpack is way too heavy, I can't do it. And then you're like , oh, but look at what's up there. It's so beautiful <laugh> ,
Speaker 2:You have to remember the view always. Yes . As someone who has hiked and really thought about quitting <laugh>.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2:Yeah . But yeah, I think that that's so cool. And I think that it's so interesting because you're such an expert in the online retail space to now be transitioning that and learning new things is just, it's awesome. I'm glad that you're doing that.
Speaker 3:Thank
Speaker 2:You. And how are you enjoying your group coaching and what does it look, look like to work with you? Because I feel like at this point, if someone is listening, they're like all in being like, I am gonna be all I am.
Speaker 3:Oh my goodness. I love the coaching part, the group coaching part. And I think like, you know, I do one-on-one coaching, but I actually love the group , um, side of things more because I love bringing women together and creating a safe space to have these vulnerable conversations. And you know, a lot of these women, they may have wonderful friends and family, but because they've sort of shown up a certain way in their life up until now, they don't necessarily feel safe having these conversations and like saying, I actually really feel called to do this. Or, so bringing women together who may have nothing else in common other than they are in this place in their life where they're starting to question things and wanting to step into all they are, right. Feeling this sense of wanting to do that. Um, it's so beautiful. And then also seeing the ahas that women have , um, and then the bravery, right? Like, because like there's having clarity, getting clear on what you want. There's remembering your, like remembering, basically tapping into that confidence, right? Of what has led you up until this point. Like remembering all the things that have led you up until this point and allowing that confidence to propel you forward. But then the next thing is bravery is like actually doing the thing, like taking inspired action, getting out there and like getting out there, but then 10 timesing that, right? Like getting out there even more. And that when we do that in a group setting with like tools and, you know, mindset strategies , um, it , you really see women kind of blossom into all they are .
Speaker 2:Love that. I think that mindset is one of the most valuable things ever. It's in my opinion, and I don't, like, I think people are talking about it enough in spaces that I'm in, but I don't think the world is talking about it enough personally. <laugh>
Speaker 3:Agreed. I'm with you a hundred percent .
Speaker 2:Like it even goes back to how you explained your grief process while your husband was still alive. And like, I just think that there is so much that happens when you understand your mindset and you start to get tools to shift it. That like, I just think that that's magical. And if you're, if you're introducing that to people, I think that that's incredibly useful to their lives. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> , my final question is what is your advice about gaining confidence? And a question that I have that's semi-related, so sorry to throw two of them at you, but I, you've talked a couple times about looking back at what you've done and being confident in that. And I don't think that people do that enough. I personally do not do that enough at times. Like, I did a resume last year and I remember looking at it and being like, oh my gosh, I'm actually really cool and great <laugh> <laugh> . So how can we remember all of the amazing things we do that get lost in the day-to-day, so that we can build that confidence?
Speaker 3:Okay, so you basically touched on one of them is to look back, right? Because we have a habit of always focusing on the gap between where we want to be and where we are , right? Like that's constantly, and it's a very human thing, so it's natural, but we don't , um, put enough emphasis on where we've been, right? And , and where we've been is not just your fricking resume, okay. Because , or your LinkedIn profile. Like I always say, like if I looked at my LinkedIn profile, yes it is like, you know, I've done some cool things, whatever. But when I look at my entire , my life and entirety, the challenges that I've overcome and the people that I've affected, and , um, like that's where you can see the person you've become, right? And you're so much more than what you've done through your career. And so I think it's like taking stock of like the challenges you've overcome and how you've grown and how you've expanded and, and saying to yourself like, you know, I've always brought myself to a better place, right? Like, I may have made mistakes, I may have not gone for that thing and I should have gone for it. Or I may have like followed that boy to wherever or whatever, you know, like all the things, but like, look at how you then stepped forward, showed up for yourself and brought yourself to a better place. And if you can take that and say, looking forward, I would know that no matter what choices I make, I can always bring myself to a better place that gives you the confidence in yourself, right? Not in anything else and how things will work out, but that you've got you, you know, you've got you and you're gonna , you're gonna have your own back, right? So I think like that self-trust piece is huge. And that does come from reflecting back. And then the other part that I think is also very important that we don't really emphasize at all is just having a blind belief in yourself. The fact is, you are a soul, right? Like you were a soul that traveled through your body as you grew from a baby, the same soul, right? Like your mind is not the same as it was when you were a baby, but your soul is , and you're here for a reason. And you know, I just look at anybody who's done anything great, anybody like Taylor Swift or you know, Nobel winning pri uh, Nobel Prize winning scientist, what if at some point they had said to themselves like, oh, I'm not really good enough and like, oh, but I don't have that degree. I I have a degree from this college and not from that Ivy League or whatever. What if they had done that, right? And they hadn't allowed what was within them to kind of come out to blossom, to evolve into where it's meant to be. Um, and I think that either comes from being, having so much conviction around what you wanna create and where you wanna go, like that destiny, right ? The end , end result. But it also comes from just believing in yourself that believing that you are here to , um, live life at your fullest expression. And you may not know what that looks like, but if you can believe in you right, the way nobody else will, that also fuels your confidence.
Speaker 2:Yeah. That's such good advice. I feel like I always give an example to clients, this is social media based , so it's not the same thing, but I'm like, think about someone's first podcast, someone's first social post, like the person that has millions of followers now . Yes . They probably felt so awkward posting that too. And I think that there's something to be said about just going for it anyways. Like the Gen Z be delusional mindset. Yes . <laugh> I think is gonna get them so far in life ,
Speaker 3:It's gonna get them so far. And the thing is like, you know, a lot of the women I work with are like, I would say 35 and above, right. You know, they're kind of in that age and they did not grow up thinking like, oh, I can do anything. You know, and there's pros and cons to both, but <laugh> I'll say that, but I think there's, there's more of a pro to having this mindset of I can do anything. Like if you fall flat on your face, that's fine, you learn from it, but at least you've tried. Right? But I think we are far too cautious, like way too cautious. And we're like holding ourselves back in ways that is like almost infuriating to me, you know?
Speaker 2:It's true. And I think that we should all feel that way. We should be upset with ourselves for holding ourselves back. Sometimes you have to obviously, yes. And you need to go through the lessons that you need to go through to get to where you need to be. But consider this your permission from us if you're listening to this, to just like fall on your face because then you're just gonna get back up and you're gonna keep going. And I think that's really important. And to the point about living your life's work, I think that we've all heard here today that like you're very much doing that and I think that it's very inspiring and I'm glad that you're sharing all of the things that have happened in your life to bring you to where you are today with the rest of the world. So thank thank you for that. Um, okay. Our every episode questions. Okay. Um , you worked at Indigo, so I'm excited for your answer here. We love a recommendation, <laugh> .
Speaker 3:I'm nervous . I'm nervous now dress .
Speaker 2:Um , what are you reading, listening to or loving lately that we should check out?
Speaker 3:Okay, this is gonna be a very boring answer, but like, honestly it has really been very supportive in my life right now. I have have been rereading AV Green Gables, like nice series series. And when I was young I used to , um, be obsessed with AV Green Gables, like, and I haven't read it in decades, literally decades. And I found some of the novels in one of those , um, neighborhood libraries. And so when I saw them , I took it as a sign. I was like, oh my gosh, I'm meant to read these again. And I've been reading them and they're just giving me so much comfort and like seeing the world in a , in, you know, a beautiful simple way of just appreciating nature and, and bringing kind of like magic and majesty to the mundane, you know? And um, and I read it before I go to sleep. So it's like the perfect kind of story time , you know what I mean? Yes . Like non-fiction, which I read a lot of non-fiction because of my work and you know, what I'm passionate about and it's not something too exciting or too dramatic, it's just very comforting. It's like comfort reading. Nice .
Speaker 2:That's like a perfect autumn read. Totally . You're like enjoying it . Meanwhile, I'm, I'm reading the silent patient before I go to bed and having nightmares. So <laugh> , you clearly have
Speaker 3:Boy , right now
Speaker 2:You have the right thing. But I'll say when I, this is so off topic , but whatever. When I was a kid, we went to the house, the end of Green Gables house in PEI and my mom bought me this like porcelain doll that was across from my bed as a kid. Like literally terrified me and I would move it outta my room and then she would put it back and I just thought that it was like haunted and it was coming to scare me. So you calling Anna Green Gable's comforting is absolutely hilarious. My , but I do understand why you're coming from a hundred percent .
Speaker 3:You need to read the book and then you'll,
Speaker 2:I should
Speaker 3:Memories of Ana Green Gables.
Speaker 2:Yeah. My mom, like two years ago was like, do you want your Anne Green Gables doll? And I was like, absolutely not.
Speaker 3:I'll take it. I'll take it off .
Speaker 2:If she still has it, I'll give it to you. For sure. What is your favorite thing about yourself?
Speaker 3:You know, I was talking to somebody, not about my favorite thing, but I think one thing that I sort of have realized is one of my , uh, strengths or my, you know, maybe like unique strengths is that I always try to see a level higher, right? Like, if we're looking at any sort of problem or any sort of conflict or anything that like, you know, creates feelings, negative feelings, I always try to see how can I look at this from an like a high , a level higher than how it's currently being discussed, right? Like, and I, and I think that there's a saying, right? Like, you can't solve a problem from the same plane that was where it was created. I'm , I'm sure I'm butchering that, but you, you get that, you know, idea. So I have this natural inclination to be like, how can I look at this from a higher level of consciousness, right? Like, what is, what is that next, next level and, and how can I look at it from there? And I find that when I do that I have so much more compassion for the , the people involved the situation. And I can see a meaning that is , um, deeper than like the pettiness that, you know , it's often based in. I hope that makes ,
Speaker 2:It does make sense. And it probably makes you a really good coach too, because you can give them a bigger perspective. Have you ever done your human design?
Speaker 3:I haven't done like a full thing. I think somebody did a little mini test , like a mini thing for me. Yeah . It said I was a manifesting generator, but I haven't done like the full evaluation.
Speaker 2:Interesting. I always just like to know <laugh> . Yeah , you can tell me . I dunno too much about it. You
Speaker 3:Can tell me who I should do that with her . I can You recommend that
Speaker 2:Sullivan? She's been on two episodes of the podcast. She's actually Great. I'll send you a link. <laugh>
Speaker 3:Send link . Okay . But I feel like there's so much everybody's talking about this and I need to get Yeah,
Speaker 2:I know. I remember when she first talked to me about it and she was like, yeah, there's this thing that I'm doing. And I was like, oh, cool. And then I just happened to do a program with her, which was so cool. And now it's like blowing up everywhere. But I think that you would really enjoy it because it's like a blend of a lot of things that
Speaker 3:We Okay , cool.
Speaker 2:Um , I'll send you her information. <laugh>, who is someone that keeps you thinking?
Speaker 3:I feel like lately, especially given what's happening in the world right now, it's been Deepak Chopra. And I think again, because he approaches things from not like , um, a play like a political plane or a, you know, like cultural plane, but he approaches it from like a consciousness plane, right? And , um, and I un and I find that when he talks about things like conflict and trauma and the recycling of trauma and all these things that cause, you know, the conflicts that we're seeing in the world , um, that I can understand it in a way that I can't understand, you know, all the conversation that's happening on the sort of political plane , you know? Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah . I like that . That's a great answer. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> , uh, what is the best advice that you've ever received?
Speaker 3:I mean, it's so funny. This is like hilarious that this is what's coming up. I think there's, there's, I think that there's like best advice at different times in my life. Yeah . But I think the most recent one that just kind of popped into my head. So, you know, I talked a lot about having like blind faith in yourself, just believing in yourself, you know, like forget the reasons why. Yes, there is like a self-trust component, look at what you've done and all of that. But just putting that aside, just knowing that you are a human being with a destiny to fulfill, and it's up to you to tap into that and to live it out, right? Um, have that faith in yourself. But like around the time when I was thinking about leaving Houseplant, you know, which was a great gig to start this new evolution of all you are with the programs and everything in the community. I had been flipping through this book Tools of Titans by Tim Ferriss that my mom had given me for Christmas. And you know, if you know it, it has like very tiny chapters , um, by famous like entrepreneurs, you know, athletes, actors, like anybody sort of who influe and who's influential. And so at the time when I was trying to decide what to do with my role, I was slipping through the book and I realized there was a couple of pages that were , um, featuring Seth Rogan, who is my boss, you know, technically <laugh> and his , uh, writing partner, Evan Goldberg. And , um, I came across it and I was like, oh, Seth's in here. I had no idea, right? Like, no idea. So it was so funny to , you know, who knows, I'd probably been on a Zoom call with him that day. And then here I'm seeing this thing and you know, it talks about how they started, right? And how they just love comedy and how they just were doing it for the pure love of it and have no idea what success looks like and where things will lead them , right? And I think like the, in the last couple of sentences, Seth says something like, there comes a point where you just need to have blind faith in yourself. And I remember reading that and being like , uh, if that's not a sign, like literally he, the person I'm working with is telling me, you know what? You just need to go, you need to go for it, right? Yeah. And so I think that was the best advice because you know what? You could spend a lot of time weighing the pros and cons, talking to a lot of people, should I do this? Shouldn't I do this? What if this, what if that? But in the end, just need to have blind faith in yourself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you do. And that has come up so many times through this conversation. And also nobody knows you better than you, is my opinion on things. So like, I've never been wrong when I've trusted my own intuition. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> , which I think is an important reminder for everyone.
Speaker 3:Very.
Speaker 2:Did you tell Seth when you <laugh> left that it was his fault ?
Speaker 3:<laugh> ? Well , I know , I don't think so . I don't think I'm , I got a chance to tell him that . I told other people in the company though .
Speaker 2:You're like , I'm just taking his advice. He asked me to go . Yeah , <laugh> ,
Speaker 3:You basically gave me a permission slip.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you sure did. Uh , where can people find you? How can they work with you? Tell us all of the things, including your amazing podcast. Please hype that up too.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah. Thank you. Yeah . So , um, my website is all uur.ca , just like the three words all u are , uh, um, my podcast is called Be All UR and you can find that on Spotify or Apple Podcast. If you just search be all UR you'll find it in there. And then , um, let's connect on Instagram so you can find me there. Kena , KNA all . Youre
Speaker 2:Amazing. Thank you so much for being Herena. I'm so glad that we gotta do this . And
Speaker 3:Me too . I can't wait for people to hear it . Me too .
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of The Thinking About Podcast. I hope it got you thinking and keeps you thinking for days to come. If the episode inspired you, excited you, or gave you something to think about, please feel free to send it to a loved one or a friend. And if you really loved it, you can leave us a rating or review wherever you get your podcast. It helps the show grow, it helps us tell our guests how important they're to you. And of course, it lets you help me know what keeps you thinking so we can bring on amazing guests. Thanks again for tuning in, and we'll see you next week.