Welcome to the Unfuck your Fitness podcast . I am your host , Christy Castillo , and I'm here to give you real talk and cut the BS so you can actually enjoy building a body you love . I'm a personal trainer obsessed with giving you simple action steps to take you from feeling stuck to feeling sexy . Let's go .
Speaker 2Hey guys , what's up ? Welcome to today's episode . Today I'm going to be talking about how to achieve true happiness in your fitness journey , in your life with your body . How to just be happy in your fitness journey and know it's probably not going to be what you think it's going to be , or how other fitness personal trainers would talk about this topic or maybe they wouldn't talk about it at all . But here we go . We are going to talk about it because I personally have , I think , tried to achieve happiness , like if I look a certain way with my body , if I can lift a certain weight or , yeah , physically , if I look a certain way , or I think , if we , I think we think that if we get down to a certain weight , that I'll be happy and I'll be confident . And spoiler alert true happiness in your fitness journey actually has nothing to do with your body .
Speaker 2I personally have been out of shape . I have been in shape . I have been pregnant twice . I my body has changed . Obviously through that . I have been sick and in the hospital and very , very bloated . I have also been very , very shrunk in and tiny and sick . I have been scared to lift weights . I have been able to lift extremely heavy weights . My body has gone through a lot of different shapes , a lot of different physical beings right , my body like I've been in different bodies before and I can tell you that I have never reached complete happiness with my body in my fitness journey , because happiness isn't about my body .
Speaker 2I have this conversation with almost every client that I have that I work with at least personally , one-on-one , and almost always they say to me something like I started this journey thinking that I only wanted weight loss , that I wanted a certain number on this scale , and it turns out what I really want is food freedom . What I really want is to look in the mirror and love myself . What I really want is to not have to cover my body with big clothing . What I really want is to change the shape of my body . I want to be strong , I want to look good , I want to be healthy . But they come to me thinking I just want to lose weight . What's your goal ? Lose weight . What's your goal for this program ? Weight loss . Every single time and they start to realize in my programs and I started to realize throughout my fitness journey it took me a really long time . It took me a lot longer than it takes my clients because I didn't have anyone helping me , but it doesn't take them very long to realize oh , what I'm shooting for is a number on the scale , thinking that that's going to fix all my problems , which no , having a healthy relationship with food and being confident and being able to wear whatever you want doesn't fix all of your life problems , but that's what truly makes you happy .
Speaker 2In your fitness journey . You probably start out thinking I'll be happy when I reach this certain weight . That's it , and that's not true . I personally , my weight , has fluctuated absolutely through those different events that I told you , but I have never been extremely overweight and I think that people assume that I've always been fit . And I think people assume that for me , and probably with any fit person , people have always assumed that I've even had people say to me like , oh , I'm sure you don't struggle with confidence because you look great , and that is very far from the truth . I think we look at people who appear to be fit or have the body that we want and we think , wow , they look freaking amazing . You would think just from the outside that that person probably doesn't struggle with confidence . They're probably like damn , they know they look good , so good for them and that's so far from the truth .
Speaker 2I have had clients and friends that have been in shape and completely miserable . I have been there as well . I've had clients and friends reach their goal weight get down to this size , this number on the scale that they thought they really wanted to be at , and be miserable with that goal , with that body and in life , and , on the other hand , I've had clients be overweight and gradually working toward their goal and be incredibly confident and happy . So I want to definitely create this episode with the goal of reminding you that you are more than the number on the scale . You are more than your fitness journey . Your fitness journey needs to be part of your life . Health , fitness , your body , the way you look , the way you feel it's all important , but unless you fix the shit in your head , you will never achieve true happiness in life and or your fitness journey . This episode was inspired , of course , by my clients and conversations that I have with you , with them . It's also inspired by real events in my life .
Speaker 2It's not really a secret that the last couple of years I've struggled with anxiety , depression , at times , very , very strong anxiety and depression , and I have been very , very low at times , and I think I always struggle with anxiety and depression , but sometimes it gets very bad , and so I think that's just something I'm going to have to deal with , and I'm realizing that my body has nothing to do with my happiness other than the fact that I don't have to worry about right now whether I'm physically healthy . I have my habits of what I eat to fuel my body . I have a good mindset with my workouts and my food , so my health isn't something that brings me anxiety , but for a lot of people it does . But being that I have my health and my fitness pretty much under control my physical health I know what workouts to do , I know how long to sleep , I know all of the things . That doesn't mean that just because I look physically fit and people look at me and think , wow , you have a great body , that doesn't mean that I'm happy . In fact , for quite a while , I walked around on this earth not being happy and no one knew it .
Speaker 2So let this be a reminder that your mental health is so important , your physical health is so important , and when you are trying to reach a physical goal , you should also be working on your mindset and remember that when you reach a physical goal , it will not bring you happiness . Everything about you will be the same no matter what you weigh . Everything you love about yourself is the same if you are 200 pounds and it's the same if you are 120 pounds and , on the flip side , everything you hate and despise and want to change about yourself will also remain . It's also the same if you're 200 pounds or if you're 120 pounds . If you are , if you have way too much body fat on your body or if you are an athlete range of body fat on your body you as a person will not change at the core of who you are . With your weight , that doesn't matter Now . Will your confidence change ? It can Absolutely . Will things about you change the way you carry yourself , the way you think about yourself ? Yes , I hope so , and that comes because you do it the right way and you understand the journey .
Speaker 2But this is why I am so persistent about teaching on mindset and self-discipline and long-term goals and having a long-term vision for your body . That's why last week , I talked about deciding what you want your body to look and feel like and not quitting and making it fit into your schedule , because I want this to be something that becomes a part of you , a healthy part of you , something you can control , something you love to do , something that makes you who you are and builds a new character or brings you back to the character , the person that you are . So I'm really passionate about teaching these long-term goals and these habits that you carry with you and you build on to Eventually . When I'm working with a client that we start with , of course they want to lose weight , and then it moves into what about your relationship with food ? Do you want to fix that too ? How do you want to feel ? Do you want to maybe start eating dinner with your family again ? Because a lot of us women we counter macros or we counter calories and we eat salad for dinner while our family is eating spaghetti , thinking we can't have the carbs , and so eventually it's like do you want to maybe eat dinner with your family and show your kids that it's okay to eat spaghetti ? Mom can eat spaghetti and pizza too . And then after that it's like do you want to see the weight You're the number on the scale go down , like if you need to lose weight , but do you also want to build some muscle so that you're healthy and you have a healthy muscle mass on your body ? Do you want to work on your joint flexibility so that as you age , you don't injure yourself when you just bend over to pick something up ?
Speaker 2There are so many things that you can work on in yourself in your fitness journey that will bring you happiness . But it's not just shrinking , it's not just getting to that beautiful body that you want . You can get there and that's amazing and that's part of the journey . But it's not all of the journey . If you only focus on your body and not the shit in your head , you'll never be satisfied . Trust me , I'm just speaking from experience . Workouts are a welcome distraction I know that but it's not a real fix . I've said in previous episodes talking about mental health that I used to say the gym is my therapy . Workouts are my therapy . I don't need a therapist . This is my therapy hour and workouts can definitely be a place where you work on yourself .
Speaker 2I will 100% always love working out for that reason and I love to work out alone . I will ask my kids all the time if they want to work out with me and they always say no . I will love it one day if they ever decide to . My husband likes to work out together . It's not that I don't like to work out , even at a gym or with my husband or with friends that come over and work out with me , but I love to work out in the gym alone , my gym alone , because I think it's because I'm just comfortable by myself . Honestly , I love to be by myself . I get fuel from being alone , and it's important to know these things about yourself too .
Speaker 2But when I'm in the middle of hip thrusting actually this happened today and I was like , oh my God , I had 15 reps and I had done I don't know quite a few , and I had like three or five left For me to be able to either look at myself in the mirror and say five more , let's go , or grit through my teeth and I have to say it out loud . I have to be like three more . You got this . And then I do it and it's like me pushing me . So my workouts are a therapy session . They are me encouraging myself and then I do it and I know I can encourage myself and I can do it and I can get better . So workouts are definitely great , they are a good therapy hour , but they're not a replacement for that actual therapy hour where you cry and where you work on yourself and where you work through things , because there's a lot of stuff that follows you through life and it can come out in different ways , and so I think a lot of times workouts can be a distraction .
Speaker 2It's like , well , if I can get down to this you know weight on the scale then I'll be happy and I'll love myself and other people will love me and find me attractive and I won't be the big friend in the friend group or I won't be the overweight friend or whatever . You know that mentality that you have and you're right If you get down to a size where you're teeny tiny , you won't be the big friend , you won't be the overweight friend . But that mentality doesn't just magically go away . You still have those struggles that came along with that . There are a lot of things that come up , a lot of your current mental struggles and current habits and the shit that you're running away from sometimes when you're like I'm just going to go to the gym and work it off . You didn't really deal with it . If you're having a rough day or you need to escape somewhere and you're like I'm just going to go to the gym and work it off . Well , cool , but what ? The problem is still there . Right , the shit in your head is still causing your unhealthy relationship with whoever , or with food or with your body . For example , I had a couple of conversations this week with clients where these are
just examples .
Speaker 2But when you are raised to clean your plate at dinner , right , sit at that table until you clean your plate . You're not getting up from the table until you clean your plate . When you're younger , that leads to overeating as an adult . Because now , as an adult , you're like well , I was taught to clean my plate and now I teach my kids to clean their plate and it's rudely food on your plate and now you're overeating or you have an unhealthy . Maybe that's not your relationship to food , necessarily , but you have an unhealthy outlook on food and what that is . And your relationship with food is like whatever I put on my plate , I have to eat , whether my body wants it or not , whether I'm hungry or not , whether it's good for me or not , if it's there , I have to eat it .
Speaker 2Right , being told that you , that you overeat or you're overweight , or you should exercise more . When you're younger or being picked on for things , right , a lot of parents can , I feel like , say things like you don't need to eat that candy bar , you know , go find something healthy . Or you don't need to eat too much , or no snacks for you , and some of that's not bad . It's not necessarily bad to say , like , no snacks before dinner . I get that , but just I think so many times that's a whole nother episode .
Speaker 2I almost got off on a tangent Like now I'm going to teach you how to feed your children , which I don't want to do , but that's a whole other thing , because if you think about how you were raised and how you were talked to , maybe when you were younger , in regards to food and eating and your body , you're bringing those things into your relationship , obviously with yourself as an adult , and also with your relationship to your significant other and then how you parent your children , and so it's very important that you fix these things to , because this is all part of your fitness journey , right ? So if you think about the stigmas or the thoughts you have around cleaning your plate , or if you shouldn't ever overeat , or if you were told like , oh , you should definitely move more , don't snack all the time , or whatever you were told when you were younger right , you're big boned . Those things carry through into your adult life . And if you just shrink your body down to a certain size on the scale or think that , oh , if I get down to the certain gene size , I'll be better and I'll be happy and that's my happiness around health and fitness , no , you still have to deal with the fact that you were told your whole life you were overweight or big bone or you should clean your plate , because it's rude or whatever those things are . And I've had those conversations with women , you know , coming up . I've had ladies that were , you know , their , their mom was overweight and maybe their aunts were overweight , and so they were just told like , well , that's just how we are , this just runs in the family , and that's not true . But thinking that you're going to be overweight forever , and then thinking , well , if I get down to a certain size and I'm now skinny , then I'll be happy , like , of course you would think that , but that's not necessarily true . You have to fix all that other stuff .
Speaker 2So , having the body of your dreams that I talked about last week , which is super important , building your dream body . All of that matters , but along with that , along the way , figure out why you want that body and figure out what else with that body you want . That's what I always say , like , how do you want to look and feel ? How do you want to think ? How do you want to be ? How do you want to eat ? How do you want to teach your children , like , what do you actually want ? There's so many other things .
Speaker 2And so when you're feeling out of control , when you're not able to control the things around you , it causes you to feel out of control with food , or out of control with your body or out of control in general . Or you then want to control it all , and that's when it comes with , like , I'll control this and I'll lose weight and I will get super fit and ripped out and I will , you know , have this super control over my physical body . But that's not where the happiness comes from . So just a reminder that it all is cumulative , it all matters and it all works together , and I will never be the coach or the personal trainer or the podcaster that just sits here and talks to you about the food and the macros and all that stuff . That stuff is so important . Don't get me wrong . I love to talk about macros . I could talk about macros in my sleep . I probably do that . Stuff doesn't matter if this other stuff isn't fixed .
Speaker 2And to be quite honest with you , you can Google a macro calendar and find your own macros . You can Google free weightlifting workout program and you could do that . Right , you could Google all of the technical things . How much water should you be drinking in a day ? Google it . How many hours of sleep should you be getting ? Google it . Do you need greens and reds ? Google it , like you can Google . I hate that word . Now you can find all that information on the internet . It's all free , it's all given to you .
Speaker 2But unless you figure out what will make you actually happy and look in the mirror and love yourselves and I say this with my hand over my heart , because this was me a few months ago I could not look in the mirror and say that I genuinely loved myself . Do I have a rock and body ? If somebody asked me and I was in a mood I would say absolutely I have a rock and body . Do I love myself ? I wasn't so sure , so they're not the same thing . So just make sure that when you are picking what you want to look like and what you want to feel like and what your workout program should look like , and if it's overwhelming to you and all of that stuff , just back up a little bit and be like what would make me actually happy , what really aligns with what I want to look and feel like ? Is this helping me love myself ? Am I doing this workout program because I love my body , right Looking at it from all those different ways and I talked about this in other episodes too but it all is cumulative , so I digress .
Speaker 2I hope you loved this episode . Just a reminder because I have to that finding true happiness in your fitness journey doesn't come from how you look physically . You can get to your goal body and still look in the mirror and be like you have got work to do , sister , and actually that's probably what you should do , because we should always be working on ourselves . So I hope you enjoyed this episode . I will talk to you next week .
Speaker 1Thanks for listening to today's show . Go ahead and leave a rating and a review and , of course , follow the podcast so you don't miss out on any future episodes . And I would love it so much if you came to connect with me over on Instagram at Kristie Castillo fit . I will see you next time .