Welcome to the Unfuck your Fitness podcast . I am your host , christy Castillo , and I'm here to give you real talk and cut the BS so you can actually enjoy building a body you love . I'm a personal trainer obsessed with giving you simple action steps to take you from feeling stuck to feeling sexy . Let's go , hey guys , what's up ?
Speaker 2Welcome to today's episode . It is March . I don't know where February went , but at the same time I do know where February went . February went so quickly . I heard a lot of people this year saying that January just drug and drug and drug . I don't feel like it was like that for me at all . Then people are saying that February went so quickly , which I agree with that . We didn't do a whole lot in February just because we're remodeling our kitchen living room dining area . That's been just keeping us busy . I know where February went . It literally went to my living dining room kitchen area . But at the same time it did go super fast .
Speaker 2It's been pretty warm here . I would say Today's going to be 70 . Yesterday was 60 something . There's been a couple of other days that have been in the 60s , which is really weird For February . It's just strange . Now I'm sure it's going to get cold and snow and all the things again . I mean , I hope not , but it's just been weird . I feel like it didn't even feel like February maybe . Anyway , it doesn't matter . What I'm saying is it's March . March is here . This year is moving along . It is marching right along .
Speaker 2How are you doing with your goals . How are we doing with our New Year's resolutions ? How are we doing with eating better and all the things ? Hopefully you're doing really well . You've stuck , at least most of the time , with what you said you were going to do and your new habits and your new mindsets and all the things , if not , start now . This is a new month . We are coming into better times . As far as my seasonal depression is going to be leaving soon . Things are just going to be looking a little bit brighter and we're going to be outside .
Speaker 2For my kids , basketball is done . For my son he actually has a tear in his MCL . That happened two weeks ago . He had to miss a couple of two games , his last two games , which absolutely sucked . That was terrible . Anyway , basketball is done , done . Hopefully he'll be able to start baseball their season or practice to start for my daughter's running track and my son is doing baseball . I'm busy , busy , but that'll be happening soon . Hopefully he can get healed up and practice soon and play soon . Fingers crossed for that . Anyway , what I'm trying to say is we'll be outside . Things are going to be picking up . We have some crazy things coming up . Spring break's happening . Then I've been doing graduation party stuff for my daughter . She , of course , graduates in May Graduation and grad party and college things . It's insane . Things are really going to start picking up , but that makes my brain overwhelmed and excited . It's fine , but anyway , spring is here .
Speaker 2If you are like , damn , I have not really done anything with the goals that I set for myself this year , or I did , and I'm slacking and I need to do better , do better . Now's the time , it's not too late . You got this right the big four water , weights , walking and macros . Start with those . Get moving , get tracking , get the information . Honestly , though , do start now . I can't encourage that enough . Do start now with those four things , because summer is just around the corner , with as fast as February , when I'm a little nervous about how quickly all of these things are going to come up for us . Anyway , just a little encouragement to get moving on your goals .
Speaker 2If you need help , visit me on Instagram , chris , because deal fit . Visit my website , visit someone in the fitness industry that knows what the fuck they're doing , and get started . So I really want to talk about literally just talk about . I don't have a lot of advice and things . I know this episode will help you and it's going to be a really good conversation , but I want to talk about real unrealistic standards for fitness and beauty . This is not something that I'm super passionate about in general , like I'm more of a macros , water , weights , health , you know kind of person in general and like on here . But there are a few other things I can get fired up about .
Speaker 2But I keep opening my social media platforms . I'm not on TikTok . Well , I am on TikTok but I don't get on it hardly ever . If someone sends me a link to something on TikTok , I will open it , watch it . Sometimes I get sucked into a few other videos , but I don't . It's not an app that I open regularly , which if I did , I would see so many of these things that I'm gonna complain about even more than I already do and that would not be good for me . But I open Instagram . That's where I'm on most of the time for working and just scrolling . I really like Instagram , the platform , but I am so sick of getting on social media , especially Instagram , and seeing things that I need or that I should want or that would better my looks or better my life or whatever . Like I am .
Speaker 2Just the standards for fitness and beauty are insane , and I'm gonna be speaking for women . Of course , I know that there are unrealistic standards , maybe probably for fitness , not so much beauty , of course but I know there are unrealistic standards for men too , and I'm not saying at all that there aren't . I'm just not a man , I am a female , so I get female targeted ads on my phone , on my Instagram , on my social medias , like that's what I know . So that's what I'm gonna be talking about . But if you are a man listening to this , keep listening , because for one , you can learn what women are kind of seeing and going through and at least how I feel on this subject . And this will pertain to you as well , because I know well I'm sure I shouldn't say I know , I'm sure for men that you get targeted ads as well that are obviously specifically targeted towards your insecurities and things .
Speaker 2So I know this is the same thing , but I actually just opened my Instagram and sometimes I can scroll through Instagram and just kind of just be scrolling and it's pretty chill and I don't get really sucked into any of this stuff . I'm not really tempted to buy things . I don't really compare , but sometimes I will just get . I just get so sick of seeing it . For example , I just opened my Instagram right before I started recording just to kind of scroll for literally two , three minutes , and I just scrolled down my Instagram feed . I didn't click on anything , I was just scrolling and I saw eyelashes and ad for eyelashes . Eyelash lift tint DIY , a lip plumper Apparently everyone's lips are too small Makeup . I saw an ad for bronzer . I saw an ad for mascara .
Speaker 2Obviously , skincare , which I do care about , skincare but I don't know you like you keep seeing all the things about skincare . And actually I reached out to my friend , julie shout out , julie who helped me actually get really good skincare , been using it for a couple of weeks and I actually love it , but like it's overwhelming . Anyways , I also saw clothes , of course , all of the clothes that I need to fitness related clothes , lifestyle related clothes , dresses , shirts . Of course they were targeted to stores that I've shopped at before . I saw an ad for colostrum . Please tell me , you're getting all these ads for colostrum Like Armora , I think . Colostrum . Every time I open my phone there's an ad for this Armora colostrum . I don't , I don't want it . Stop showing me . And then , literally , this is so funny I saw an ad .
Speaker 2It was a I don't know something in a jar , but it all I know is that it said , and I quote it's like aqua for for your vagina . I don't know I I mean , I guess that speaks for itself , but like what the fuck ? What in my brain ? That was two minutes and I saw eyelashes , lip plumber , bronzer , mascara , skincare , clothing that I apparently need , want I don't know Nipple covers , eyelashes , botox , and add to oh , this is another one . And add to lock your phone so that you can focus . It was like this lock box you can put your phone in , and then they were saying you don't need this lock box anymore . You can just use an app on your phone . You program it and your app will just shut down , it won't let you in , so you can focus . Oh , and then bed sheets as well , and then colostrum , and then apparently aqua four for your vagina . This in two minutes . Those were just the ads .
Speaker 2Along with that , I saw like mental health things and what I want to say , like calming your nervous system , quotes and workouts , of course , and funny things , and it was just like holy shit , our brains . In two , three minutes . I saw all of those different subjects . Now it's like a constant comparison game . It's a constant hit of dopamine . That just isn't natural . It's not like I'm going outside and I'm doing something fun and my brain is like responding to something that's actually happening , like my brain just responding in this moment . It actually wasn't , because I was literally just doing this on purpose .
Speaker 2But let's say I'm having a really I don't know a day where I'm like how do I really need to focus ? And I saw this app for my phone , so I'm going to look at that . Let's say I'm shopping and I am really needing some bronzer . I would be clicking on that . Let's say , I'm really insecure about my lips . I'm going to be clicking on the lip plumber , like it's just , it's a lot . So I don't want to talk about the unrealistic standards . I also just want to talk about with you , my peeps , all of these things . Like I personally do not get sucked into these things . I don't click on them very often .
Speaker 2I , if I want to go shopping , I'll get on Amazon or I'll go to the store and shop . I don't . I just I don't really need a lot of this stuff , but I know a lot of people do and maybe it's because I'm 42 and I don't give a shit about what anyone's doing or wearing or whatever Like . If I'm in a timeframe where I want to look up skincare , I'll go look it up . If I need eyelashes , I'll go buy some or look it up . I just I don't respond well to ads . If I'm not in the in the mood of like shopping or skincare or those things , I'm not going to click on the ad . But I think a lot of well , I know a lot of people do and in fact I have an 18 year old daughter , so I see her , you know , always on her phone and I see what she's responding to and what she wants and what she wants to buy and what she wants to look like and the life she wants to live , and I know that all of this comes from her phone and I'm not saying anything bad against her . That's just what it is right
now , right .
Speaker 2So , in addition to like comparing ourselves , constantly wondering if we need those , all of these things that we see on our phones , it cannot be good for us to constantly just be seeing these types of things . It's subliminal , like , even though , like I just said , I don't personally want to click on those things and I don't want to research them and I don't want to buy them . It's still in my subconscious now that , like , maybe I do need eyelashes , maybe my lips are too small , maybe I do need to lock my phone , maybe I do need cholesterol , maybe I do need aqua form for my vagina . Like , it's just , it's all subliminal now , right . Like , are my clothes good enough , or do I need these other clothes that this lady is wearing , even though in the moment , I'm like , oh my God , this is so annoying . It's still there , I'm still being shown , and it's what's in my brain and it's what I'm subjecting myself to .
Speaker 2It can't be good for us to constantly be seeing these types of things , always wanting something , always thinking that we need something to . This is what gets me Always thinking that we need something to help with a problem that we didn't even know we had until we saw the ad . I will see this ad for cholesterol and it's like your digestion and your skin and your sleep and your have you ever watched these ads ? And while you're watching it , you're like , oh my gosh , I struggle with all those things , or I think I have that problem , or I , and it's like you didn't even realize that that was even an option or something you would maybe think that you even need , until you saw the ad and then you're like , oh my God , I need that , which I understand right , and I know some people will say it's just like when , when I grew up , let's say it's just like when I grew up and commercial .
Speaker 2You know , I saw commercials and I saw magazine covers and I wanted things , I compared myself , I wanted to look different , et cetera . But it's not the same . I know , when my kids were little , of course we had , you know , they had tablets and people would always say like it's the same thing as you sitting in front of the TV all day on a Saturday and honestly I don't disagree with some of that , but it's not the same , especially for teenagers . Like when I grew up , yes , I had commercials and I had movie stars and I had pop stars , right , that I thought were so cool and I wanted to be like and all of that . But it's not the same in the sense that when I left the house unless I saw I don't know , like a billboard or a magazine , I had time away from my brain dealing with that .
Speaker 2And now even I , if I ever break from something we were running errands yesterday , my husband and I , and he was in the store returning some stuff from the house project , and I'm on my phone , or , yeah , I'm in the car on my phone , which , okay , nothing wrong with that , but so are my kids . It's a constant thing . So when I was a teenager and I left the house , I didn't have a phone to scroll on . I got away from the commercials and the . You know the comparison . My kids , especially my daughter , doesn't have that . She has her phone with her all the time , and we now , as adults , have our phones with us all the time .
Speaker 2We're always being bombarded , whether it be consciously or unconsciously . We are being bombarded with all of these things . Right , are we good enough ? Are our clothes good enough ? Do we look good enough ? Do you need aqua for every of your vagina , like , hmm , never thought about that . I need to stop bringing that up . It's just , it's crazy and I don't know
.
Speaker 2Let me be clear , though I'm not against changing your looks . If you want lashes , if you want Botox , if you want a boob job , go for it . I have microbladed eyebrows . I very , very blonde and I hardly have any eyebrows , even with them microbladed , but without them , you could hardly see them at all . Right , I would love to have some Botox one day in my forehead , fix my crow's feet .
Speaker 2I actually had a consult years ago . It was right around the same time that I had started P90X , the very , very , very beginning of my fitness journey . I had a consult . My husband went with me . I stood there . I don't remember . I remember standing in the mirror , I'm sure topless , looking at what they drew . I don't remember exactly . I remember thinking it was like $7,000 . It's going to hurt . I literally remember standing in the mirror thinking why don't you just work out , give this fitness journey your all ? Try to change your body , try to be more confident that way , before you go under the knife and put something foreign in your body that may or may not help with your confidence or whatever .
Speaker 2So anyway , I have definitely considered all of the things . So I'm not saying that I never have or that sometimes I don't think like , oh , wow , I need better eyebrows or I need this product . It's not that I don't ever think that . Of course I do . But and I'm not against changing your looks , if you want to do those things , for sure go for it . I have friends with all of the things , all of the things that I have mentioned , and I love them and I think that that's great for them . Again , I'm not saying that I will never get those things . That's not what I'm saying at all .
Speaker 2I think it's the unrealisticness of the beauty industry that pisses me off that it's filtered , that it's fake , that we are only shown certain things , that we're only shown , yes , certain things that they want us to see . That it is marketed directly into our insecurities , directly to our insecurities , which I get . Like that's how they sell things , that's how marketing works . The wording , the model that they use in the ad , the packaging , it's all targeted exactly to you . It's making us feel like we need to look perfect head to toe and I think I can look at that and say , wow , this person did a really good job targeting their audience for this ad because they nailed it . I think I can decipher that . But yeah , it's crazy to me that we are just marketed to so much again as women , about our looks .
Speaker 2It's the makeup , it's the hair , it's the bronzer technique , it's the application . It's oh my god , it's insane the things that . It's the get ready with me . It's the do the makeup with me . It's the what I don't even know like outfit of the days . It's all this stuff Like I do not care what influencers are wearing .
Speaker 2I do not care what you're using for your skincare , I do not care what your bronzer looks like , I do not care what clothing you're wearing . Like I don't care . Give me something real . What are you doing today ? Give me an unfiltered version of yourself . Show me when you just woke up in the morning . Like that's what I feel like when I see an influencer . I don't even like that word , but you know what I mean . It's like you see these reels and stuff of like , oh , I'm using X brand of skincare and I'm wearing this clothing and I'm mixing my AG1 greens and my .
Speaker 2And it's like I literally do not care . First of all , you don't look that good . Second of all , you're not that healthy . Third of all , are you happy ? Like , what are you doing ? What are you doing ? I do not care . That's in my brain .
Speaker 2And then I have my daughter coming up to me like I need this product and I need this , and I'm like no , you don't , you do not need that . I wish I could tell you how much you don't fucking need that product . Anyway , I can get a little fired up . It just it makes me crazy . And then , right , I have my son , who's 15 , and my daughter and even my husband and I can do this Like he of course cares about his appearance and his skin and like all the things .
Speaker 2But men don't care . And it's not that they don't care . Well , they don't wear makeup , so like . Of course they're not marketed to . To like have perfect eyebrow . I mean , you don't see men trying to get their hair absolutely perfect and like worrying about their skin . Like they leave the house with their natural skin color , their natural skin . They wash it . They like run their fingers through their hair , they brush their teeth . There's like beard stuff , you know , for men with beard , that's it .
Speaker 2I'm over here , like with the anti-curl stuff and the anti-frizz stuff and I'm blow drying and I'm curling and I'm spraying , and then I've got my , my skincare , and then I've got my moisturizer , and then I've got just my whole makeup routine and like for what ? Like for what ? Why ? I understand that it can be fun and I totally get that makeup is fun and artistic and hair Like . I understand , and that's not at all what I'm getting at . It's just , it's more than that right . It's too much knowledge . It's too many ads , it's too many thoughts . Even if it's subliminally Like , I should probably get this product . Even in fitness , I should probably get this product or this supplement or this gadget or this workout .
Speaker 2That person looks so great . I probably need that right at . This person is so great in this real like . Look at how perfectly made up she is and she's smiling with their kids in her perfect kitchen and she's so happy . We click on it . And then we're like , oh my God , I need her booty routine . Oh my God , I need her skincare routine . Oh my God , she drinks greens . Oh my God . And then you're just in this whole of like does she even do that birdie booty workout ? Does she even drink those greens ? Or is she just getting paid to say those things and to post those things ? Right ? And even that we're that . It's shoved down our throats . On top of that , it's that .
Speaker 2Does this product even work ? Are these influencers even using what they're selling ? Is the product even legit ? And yesterday I was shopping for a dry shampoo and I was really kind of scouring for this one brand that I actually didn't end up finding , so I tried another brand , but I looked at this product . I looked at this product of split and Mender and I'm not even sure . Sometimes I'll look at stuff for myself , my daughter , and kind of pick up stuff and I remember , looking at the bottle , it said split and Mender and I'm I literally had the thought of , like what ? What's even in this this , what's inside of this bottle ? The split end Mender could be the same that's in the bottle of anti-curl , like I have no idea what . Who's to say that this product is just to mend your split ends Right ? I don't know if they say that this product does what it says it will , who's to say that this product is any good or that the person on the package is using it ? It's just , it's crazy to me . So those are all the things that go in my head .
Speaker 2My point to all of this is that it's not going to stop Like people aren't going to stop targeting us with their ads . We're not going to stop seeing all the things , but we have got to control it in our brains , like we've got to kind of make the connection between this is unrealistic . I don't have to work out this much . I don't have to wear as much makeup . I don't have to put this much pressure on myself to look perfect , to not have wrinkles , to not have a little foopa right , to look perfect . I don't have to subscribe to this Feel like if we're not aware of the fact that it's unrealistic beauty standards and fitness standards and fill in the blank standards . It's unrealistic .
Speaker 2They're playing into our insecurities and on our phones . It's constant and it can constantly be , making you feel like you're not enough . You're not doing enough , you'll never be enough , you'll never have the body that person has , you'll never X , y and Z and that makes you feel less than it makes you feel not enough . It makes you feel not great and that's where the problem lies . That that overconsumption , overconsumption and that's where the problem lies is overconsumption and unhappiness are rampant .
Speaker 2I feel like people are really just out here doing the least . Why work out to feel better when you can quickly order a product from your phone while laying on your bed doing nothing and wait for it to come in the mail ? That will tighten your skin and get rid of cellulite ? Why would you get up to do anything physically to work out better yourself when you can just order a product and hope for the best ? It's like we're really just out here doing the least . We're trying to fake our way or compare our way to this better version of ourselves , I guess .
Speaker 2But in the end , I know that a lot of this just comes down to , obviously , the marketing they're playing into our insecurities , but it also does , like I just said , insecurities . It comes down to lack of confidence , to insecurity , and that's fine . We all have insecurities , we all have moments of weakness , we all have things about ourselves that we would like to fix , but a lot of these products just aren't going to fix them . You don't need a product to get rid of your cellulite . Your cellulite is fine . Who even says that you shouldn't have cellulite ? Who says you shouldn't have a little fat on your body ? Why are we thinking that our bodies need to look so perfect ? Why are we comparing ourselves to other people ?
Speaker 2So , lastly , what I want to talk about is just that the comparison and honestly , you know , self-love and self-care and worth , and a lot of it comes down to . I mean , of course , you know I wanted to talk about the glamorization and the unrealistic standards of fitness and beauty , but I really truly think that the reason so much of this works is because we are lazy , we do like those little baby dopamine hits off of our phones . We are over consuming , we are over purchasing , we are over compensating . And it comes down to doing the inner work and realizing your worth and realizing you don't have to look perfect and like who . Who says you have to look
a certain way ?
Speaker 2I think at the end of the day , it's like really getting to know yourself . I guess for myself , I can only speak for myself . I've , I haven't always been the most confident in my looks or myself . And I do have days where I'm not confident in my looks and myself . Like I've definitely don't mind changing things about my appearance obviously , like I love the physical attributes of working out , I love nose rings right , I love to change things and do fun things with makeup and hair and like whatever .
Speaker 2But at the end of the day , a lot of this just really comes down to thinking we need to be better or different or , you know , purchasing things and comparing things . We need things that other people have . I don't know it's . It can get pretty deep and that's not the point of this episode .
Speaker 2But what I do want to say is the confidence that women have , and I guess I can only speak for myself , the confidence that I have in saying I don't need certain external things to change on myself . I would rather just not compare myself . I don't care about the newest styles and the newest brands and the newest all the things . I don't care . I know what I look good in , I know what I feel comfortable in and I don't care if it's necessarily in style . I don't give a shit if someone's judging me for that . I'm not going to wear a current style or buy a product just because it's really popular on tic-tac right now . If it doesn't look good on me and I don't feel good in it , I don't care .
Speaker 2And where that confidence comes from for me is not telling myself that I'm worthy and these positive affirmations and saying you know cheesy things in front of the mirror . I'm not saying that those things are bad . I know they're good for some people and they definitely have their time in their place . But for me , really talking better to myself , showing up for myself in the gym , going for walks , eating better , treating myself better physically , being confident in my workouts , being strong , looking in the mirror and being like you are fucking strong , I like you . There were times I looked in the mirror and I was like I do not like you , I don't know you . There were a lot of negative times of that , but when you can look in the mirror and be like man , you worked your ass off today , you showed up for yourself . Today , you are strong . Today You're looking good . Right , I'm in control of that .
Speaker 2So much of that confidence for me came from showing up in the gym and being able to modify my appearance if I wanted to , in that way , like I don't care if someone likes my body . I like my body . I built my body . It's mine . I work hard for it . I fucking did this . I don't care if anyone else likes it . That's not . When I started , I was very insecure . I really I , yeah , I was really insecure . I wanted to change my body , not for anyone else , I just I really wanted it to change . I didn't understand , and now it just , I feel differently about it . So I think that confidence goes into other areas of my life and it will for you too . And yes , you are worthy and yes , you are enough , and yes , those positive affirmations and those positive self talks are great , but you actually have to get up and do the work , and this comes for our children as well .
Speaker 2Like I said , being a mom of an 18 year old daughter , it's really hard to see her get on social media all the time and compare her life , her looks , her , all the things . I know I'm more aware of it because I could easily do it myself and I'm more aware of it because she's my daughter . She's beautiful , she's perfect . She literally is beautiful and literally is perfect . But it's hard for me to watch her think all of these things , even though they are completely normal . And I , you know , I and I work with clients as well that are like I need to change this or my friends have this and I want this and I want to look better for this . And a lot of times it's not even about the thing , it's just that they're lacking a little bit of confidence or they're focused on the wrong thing . It's , it's just again , it's these unrealistic standards , it's this comparison .
Speaker 2It's always something being shoved in your face that , if you're not fully confident in yourself , you will think that you need . I can very easily look at certain things and be like , oh my gosh , I love her eyelashes , I love her lip color , I love her jeans , I love that person's home . It's beautiful . It doesn't mean that I want it or need it or that I want to work toward it Like none of that . I can see something for what it is and say I'm really , that's really awesome for her . She looks great , I love that period . I don't need it , I don't want it , I don't want to work toward it , like nothing . I can completely separate the two and I think that that's really important .
Speaker 2When we are scrolling especially , you know , when we're not conscious about our scrolling and we're literally just going and going and going and even toxic positivity is unrealistic . Even you know self care and learning about regulating your nervous system and some of the things I mentioned earlier that are really good . It can be too much . You don't have to focus on all of that stuff all of the time . Sometimes unrealistic standards can go for pretty much everything in life . So thank you for listening to me talk about this .
Speaker 2I just wanted to have this conversation with you because it's something that I've been noticing . When I open my phone more and more now , I'm just like this is so overwhelming . We are all being bombarded with this and we should just talk about it . Not that it cures anything , but I think , just the awareness , if , if nothing else . So I hope you like this episode . I know it was a little bit different , but it all ties in because as we're working on ourselves physically , it's easy to grasp on the more and more and more Right .
Speaker 2So I want to do more for fitness , I want to do more for my health , I want to do more for my beauty . How can I fix my hair and my nails and my face and my weight loss and my skin and my ? It's a lot and so kind of just paying attention to that and reeling it back to what really matters what do you enjoy ? What would you like for yourself , what do you want for yourself ? And not really pay attention to all of these unrealistic standards .
Speaker 2And if it's really hard for you to separate the two , unfollow that stuff . You don't need to see it all the time .
I've been very good lately about unfollowing things . If I see something and I'm like , yeah , I don't want to see this anymore , it's not , this isn't doing it for me anymore , I don't want any part of this and just delete , block whatever , unfollow because it's . I think it's very important for our mental health and I think , the awareness , hopefully , that I brought you in this episode . You'll get on social media , see these things . We pissed off and annoyed , unfollow and you're welcome . So I hope you enjoyed this episode . I will talk to you next week .
Speaker 1Thanks for listening to today's show . Go ahead and leave a rating and a review and , of course , follow the podcast so you don't miss out on any future episodes . And I would love it so much if you came to connect with me over on Instagram at Christy Castillo fit . I will see you next time .