Ep 63, How to Build a Personal Brand That Actually Feels Like You

If your personal brand feels like a costume you have to keep putting on - this one's for you.

So many female entrepreneurs have a brand that looks the part but quietly feels off. The content feels exhausting to create. The clients it attracts aren't quite right. And somewhere underneath it all, there's a nagging sense that you're performing a version of yourself rather than actually being seen.

In this episode, Emma breaks down exactly why this happens and more importantly, how to fix it.

You'll learn the difference between a brand built on what you think you should be versus one built from genuine alignment, the 3 pillars that make a personal brand magnetic rather than just visible, and how to identify your own brand frequency - the energy you transmit before you even say a word.

This is the episode that will make you rethink everything you've been told about personal branding.

🎯 Get the free guide - 5 Proven Strategies To Building An Authentic Personal Brand (https://api.leadconnectorhq.com/widget/form/H94mZbGjQgOFvXjOKuHi)

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Em x

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

The most magnetic thing you can be is yourself. Let's talk about how to build a personal brand that actually feels like you. Welcome to the Flow Lane with me, Emma Maker. This podcast is for the female entrepreneurs who want the both end big goals and a life that you can actually enjoy. We're talking sustainable scaling, working in flow, and creating a business that supports your energy, not trades it. Let's dive in. The most magnetic thing you can be is yourself. Let's talk about how to build a personal brand that actually feels like you. Now, in today's day and age of AI influences and what is real and what is not real and a whole bunch of fake stuff on the internet, authenticity wins. I did an episode of this a few episodes ago for my 2026 predictions about why I think authenticity is going to be the thing that sets people apart. But we're going to break that down today into what that actually tangibly means and how you can actually achieve that in your own personal brand. So, firstly, this starts with your values. And if you listened to the last episode, you will know that your values are your North Star for how you make decisions, for everything in your business, but also for your personal brand. But there is also a trap of just being seen versus being seen for you. I work with a lot of people that are seen. They have visibility in the say on the online space, but they're not seen for them. So their content is getting likes and tractions and all the vanity metrics, but people don't actually know them, their story. So they're not converting into customers on the back end of that. So there's a difference between being seen and being seen for you. And we're going to talk about actually being seen for you. Because often what people do is they'll put on a persona, right? So they'll create this idea of this is who I am when I show up online. And this is very nuanced. But what that then starts to attract is clients that expect the persona. And then you're trapped from delivering from that persona, right? Rather than being an actual real human being. So it is very subtle. And I like to explain it through the lens of Beyoncé. Now, whether you are or aren't a fan, or whether you do or do not think that she is a robot or not, there's a lot of theories on the internet. She talks about getting up on stage and stepping onto that stage as her pseudonym, as her stage name of Sasha Fierce, right? It is a persona. Now, it's again, whether you think it's real or not, it's still her voice, right? It's still her. It's physically her on the stage. She's just putting on this mask, putting on this persona of Sasha Fierce, which gives her the confidence to get out there and perform. Your personal brand is similar in that way, in that it doesn't have to feel performative, but you have to be really clear of who is that brand, what is that brand, when I step on a stage, when I get in front of a camera, when I'm in front of clients, when I'm in front of people, when I'm representing my business. So you have to be really clear of not abandoning yourself in the process, not putting on a total costume, but also being able to have a separation between the two. Because where the line gets blurred is that people think personal brand equals personal blog. And so then they go, well, I want to be authentic and real on the internet. So I'm just going to word vomit my entire life. And I'm going to share updates from every second of every day of how I'm feeling and the untinged thoughts that I feel. And that's fine. But what I see happen is that when that person then goes, oh now I want to sell something. Now I want to actually use this for my business, they have no authority. They have a bunch of people that DM them all day saying, oh my gosh, me too. Like I also got a zit on the side of my face. Or my kid was also up screaming all night. And I also gave them this particular medicine or homeopath or whatever. So they have relatability, but they aren't seen as the go-to in their industry. And there's a difference. So if you're just trying to be an influencer and you just want people to relate to you and buy your affiliate links, you should probably turn off this episode now because this is not for you. But if you are someone that is an established professional that wants to leverage the online space, that actually wants people to come to you because of who you are, not just what you know, then you need to stick around because we're going to dive into this a little bit more. I have an authentic authority method that I'm going to take you through. This is something I take all of my clients through. And I think it is a really valuable framework for you to actually understand this. Because as I said before, it is nuanced. In some ways, yes, you are quote unquote putting on a mask when you're stepping into that persona. It allows you to separate what is relevant and what is not relevant. So you can decide when I'm in brand mode, I want to talk about XYZ topics or things in my personal life that I want to speak about are this. Things I don't want to speak about, maybe you don't want to share about your relationship. Maybe you don't want to talk about your kids online. Maybe you don't want to talk about your deep family trauma. You don't have to. So it allows you to go, what is actually relevant to ultimately, firstly, what do you sell? What do you offer? What humanizes you? What is actually relatable or creates resonance with your audience so that you're attracting the right people? Because if you want to be working, for example, with leaders in their space and people that are doing big stuff, and you're just getting on there all day and talking about how hard your life is and da-da-da, you're not gonna attract that same person. This is why so much of this is identity work. So the first part of this framework is truth. The real you is the strategy. So you're probably a little confused right now of like, am I putting on a mask? Am I showing up as myself? We're gonna break that down. The truth is what you've lived. So it is what you have integrated as part of your personal story. AI can't take that away from you. A lot of people are coming to me nowadays saying, there's AI influences everywhere, and is information dead on the internet? Are people still buying courses? Are people still doing this? Like, how is this industry kind of changing? AI can give information. It can give really good, succinct information. It can even teach that information, but it doesn't have the story and the embodiment behind it. And as humans, we are seeking connection. Technology has evolved at a rapid pace. Unfortunately, my friend, you and I not so much, right? We still need connection, growth, belonging to feel like we're a part of something. We still have basic core human needs that haven't evolved as quickly as the world around us. So whilst we can learn from AI, we can't actually feel that connection and that resonance to it that we would from someone who has lived it, who actually has that truth as part of their strategy. So what does your truth include? Of course, I'm sure you can guess by now, your values. What won't you sacrifice? Your lived experience, what is it you have actually personally navigated on your journey? And then your edge. What are the things that you're willing to say that others won't? What are the hills that you will die on? For example, I have been telling people for over a decade to build an email list. Emails never die has been part of my workshops for many, many, many, many years. It is a hill I will die on. Because for some people, they say all you need is social media, all you need is Instagram, right? So you'll find your thing. What are the things in your industry that you will say that other people won't? Because truth without boundaries becomes oversharing. And this is where you need a boundary. You need to understand, okay, I can have an opinion on, let's say, for example, you are um you work in the parenting coaching space, right? You can have an opinion on parenting. You can share your own journey to coming to the realizations that you've had. But is it super relevant for you to share something that feels totally left to field? Are you talking about something that has no relevance to your topic? Yes, sometimes that makes sense. Sometimes that humanizes you, but sometimes it totally pulls focus and people start to overshare and have no boundaries. I like to give you this reframe of sharing from the scar, not the wound. Never share from the wound, always share from the scar. Meaning you're you've lived it. So let's just use the relationship, the parenting coach for an example. Your child is suddenly doing something and it's triggering you and it's causing your relationship to fracture. Do you get online and be like, oh my gosh, I just had a massive fight with my partner and like the no, you come online a week later when you've healed the fracture and you you share from the scar. Last week we had this massive rupture in our family, and I was triggered. And you can share authentically and honestly, but you're sharing from the wound. Now, if you share from the scar, you open yourself up to the entire internet having an opinion on that. So not only do you take away your authority, but you also then have a bunch of people online that can see that wound and poke it, and that gets real dangerous really quick. I've worked with a lot of people that will say something online from that genuine, in the moment vulnerable place and then get eaten alive in the comment section, and that's it. I'm done. I can't handle this anymore. Their nervous system freaks out, right? So that is something that you can think about is what do I believe because of what I've been through? So you're not gonna be too much. There's often this fear of like I'm gonna lose people. I want you to think about like people aren't looking for perfect, they're looking for real. So what feels real to you? What is your truth? Not somebody else's, not what you're looking left and right to the other creators in your space. What is your truth? And then the second part of that is translation. These are all T's, just so you know. Your truth then becomes the message. So most people will skip this and go straight to posting. Cool, great. She said speak my truth. I am speaking my truth. I'm just online here, dropping truth bombs all over the place. And they'll go straight to posting and be like, why isn't this landing? You have to actually then translate your truth and actually make it understandable for your audience. Because often it's true to you because you lived it, you experienced it, you know the nuance and the subtlety. But it's actually a skill to peel that back and go, what is relevant about my story to my audience? Don't so that your story isn't just about you, it's actually about them. They can see themselves in your story, in your lessons. So don't skip this part. I want you to understand who is it for, what problem does it solve, and why your take is different. Who, what, why for pretty much everything that you do in business. So that simple formula then helps you understand, okay, I help who get from pain, what problem, to this desired outcome without whatever it is that they're refusing to do, right? So then you can take your truth, your lived experience, and translate it in a way that makes it relevant and that it speaks directly to your ideal audience. Then you can start to build your signature language. So what are your phrases? What are the things that you know for? What is like your tagline, the things that you can repeat all the time? For example, I always say when I'm posting a selfie of myself in the gym, how you lead yourself is how you lead others. The reason I show me at the gym in the morning isn't because I sell anything to do with fitness anymore. I used to, but not anymore. It's because it's signaling to my audience, hey, I'm out here because I have goals in the fitness, in my fitness goalness landscape, and I want to achieve those goals. So I'm out here doing what I need to do to achieve those goals. That says that's me communicating my values, which then brings in clients that either aspire to that, like, yeah, actually, you're right. I probably should be leading myself before I lead other people and I need to go and look take care of myself, or people that are like, yeah, girl, me too. I'm at the gym lifting that as well. It's a nothing to do with what I sell, but it attracts in the right people. And so then you start to have these metaphors, these costumes, these places in which you're constantly able to share content. For me, I'll take a selfie while I'm at the gym. I also don't have children running around me when I'm at when I'm at the gym and I don't share my kids online. So I'm strategic about where I take those moments and to capture content because I want to signal what are my values, but I also want the right people coming in. Right? If you're someone that has no motivation and just looks at people that go to the gym and eye rolls and isn't about it, we're probably not going to be a good fit to work together because I'm gonna push you in the same way that a fitness coach would, right? And then a common block for people here is that they'll then start to sound too professional. So it'll go, that'll they'll translate it and it will be almost too polished, and then it kind of loses the edge. So an example of this is like the yoga voice or the fitness voice. You know, when you get into a yoga class and you sit down and you're like, ah, this is gonna be great, and you've had a chat with the instructor before the class and she's speaking to you in my voice right now. You're like, yeah, yeah, it's gonna be great class. Do you have any injuries? No, you're good. Okay, great. Let's sit down. Welcome to today's class. We are going to, and you're like, oh my gosh, like, what the hell? She her whole voice just changed. And then the whole class, she's speaking in yoga voice, right? Yoga voice applies to therapists, applies to any other modality, right? Where we think I need to be professional, therefore I'm gonna switch voices. It feels so inauthentic and it feels so contrived, and people can feel that. So it's about finding your professional tonality. Maybe the way that I speak with my kids is gonna be different to the way I'm speaking to you right now, the way that I speak with my girlfriends. But ultimately, it's the same tone of voice. I'm just adapting the language slightly. I'm having these kind of key things that I repeat over and over again so that you start to get to know me, you start to know what to expect. It's the same in your audience. So your voice is ultimately your brand asset. So you need to understand how to use it to clearly communicate what it is that you do and then move people into ultimately your office. Which brings us to transmission. So this is what this is the consistency that builds safety and trust. So transmission isn't just post more. It isn't just like show up and just put more and more and more volume out there. There is actually a nervous system piece to this. So inconsistency when it comes to posting, when it comes to sharing, however it is you're communicating and marketing with your audience isn't always like a laziness problem. Sometimes it's self-protection. Sometimes visibility doesn't feel safe. Sometimes there's a little girl inside of you that says, oh, if I say this, someone's gonna make fun of me, or you're thinking about what's Auntie Susan gonna say at dinner or at Christmas if she sees me put out this post. We self-protect so often when it comes time to actually speak, to actually transmute ourselves. So this phase actually happens in multiple places. So whether it's your content, whether it's your DMs and your conversations, your sales calls, if you do them, your boundaries, how you actually deliver to your clients, it comes across in like in all those different ways. So you can then kind of make this a transmission as like a minimum. So rather than going, I need to be in all these places and it feels super, super overwhelming, it's finding that consistency because that's what's going to build trust in those places. So that you don't, for example, get on a reel and speak one way, and then someone inquires about your program or working with you, and you sound like a completely different person in your DMs, right? You're using different language and it's like a robot. You want to actually have then these like two to three content pillars that you can continually repeat and one non-negotiable cadence that you can maintain in your current season. So you might be in a current season where you're like, I have all the time in the world and I have a full system behind my content strategy and I'm like posting every day, right? Or it might be that when you do that, you actually dilute your message because you're just running out of steam or you're self-sabotaging in some way. And so you need to find a cadence that actually works for you. And then it becomes regular. For example, maybe every Monday you send out a newsletter or you put up a post on your Substack or whatever it is, and you start to train your audience that I'm doing what I said I was going to do, which is every Monday deliver you this thing. Therefore, you can trust that what I say is going to happen will happen. And so then when you say, buy my program and you'll get this result, they believe you because the smaller thing that you told them was going to happen happened. Which brings us to number four. I'm sure you can guess what it is. Trust. Authority forms organically when there is trust. Now we are in a major trust recession right now because most people can't tell what is real or not real on the internet. A lot of people have been burnt by the online space. Not just, you know, the online coaching space or service provider space, but also, have you seen those people that have bought a couch off Timu and it's come and it's like this big? And they're like, oh wow, yeah, I got totally gyped, didn't read the description. I bought a couch for a mouse. Most of us have been burned in some way, shape, or form by buying something in the online space. So there is a massive trust recession right now. But trust is the compound interest of being the same person everywhere. That is what I mean when I talk about consistency. Consistency doesn't mean I showed up every day, therefore I'm consistent. It's does your online voice actually match your real life voice? Now, if I was speaking to my kids, I might have a slightly different tone. If you're my bestie, you're probably gonna get a 10-minute voice message from me, and it's gonna sound a lot like this podcast. If you know, you know. Your marketing matches your delivery. Your promises match your outcomes. Trust is this like signal to people. And you can then add that up, add that in with things like testimonials by showing, hey, I told this person this is what was gonna happen. They got the desired result. Here's the testimonial, here's their story, here's their transformation. You trust that. Now, trust is like you can have, you can build trust in certain ways. And we're gonna talk about this actually in the next episode around brand positioning. But if you think about this, I always like to use the example of like a skincare brand. If you get hit with an ad and you click on, you've never heard of them before, you click on their page and you say, Oh, as seen in Vogue Beauty, as seen in other reputable sources, of you think straight away, wow, I'm gonna be more likely to trust that they can deliver this promise of whatever the promise of the skincare is to me, as opposed to somebody that doesn't have those trust markers. So there's ways that you can earn trust or piggyback off other people's trust. So firstly, things that help people build trust within you are clear boundaries, actually knowing what to expect. If you DM me the word this, I will send you this. If you come into my program, here's what to expect. Having those boundaries with your community, having a clear polve, having a clear point of view so that people actually know what you stand for, what you stand against. Calm consistency. So that doesn't mean posting every day and being like, oh, here I am, because I like said I was gonna post on Instagram for every day. So like uh actually being consistent in your messaging, consistently showing up as who you are across whatever platforms it is that you're using. And then actual specificity. I can never say that stupid word, but I use it all the time in my work and it drives me crazy. But can you name the real problem in a specific way? So can you actually identify what it is that your ideal client is struggling with so that they are like, yes, you've taken the words right out of my mouth. I am with you. Please tell me more. Authenticity scales way faster than performance because performance is actually expensive. It costs energy, it costs consistency, it costs longevity. So a common thing that I see people coming to me with is I need, you know, more credibility. Let's reframe that to if you can actually clearly articulate someone's problem really precisely, then you're already credible to help them because you can already see where they're stuck and you know the pathway to help them forward. There's a this kind of goes into a deeper layer of worthiness, right? Of not feeling like the expert. And again, we're gonna explore this in the next episode, so make sure you stay tuned for that, but of not feeling like you're worthy, of not feeling like who am I to call myself the expert. There's an episode of The Simpsons, right? Remember this from when I was a child, where Marge is becoming a piano teacher and she says, you only have to stay one step ahead of the student, and off she goes, right? It's kind of like that. We learn from people that have been there and done that. And often your ideal client, they they might care that you have a certain amount of experience behind you, depending on what industry you're in, but they just want to know: can you help me get from here to here? Do you have the framework? Do you have the roadmap? Do you have the thing that's going to get me out of this current position that I'm in? So trust in today's world is something that you really, really need to work on. And then all of this kind of compounds into building this magnetic brand. Now, the first part of magnetism is understanding who you are. And if you're not clear on that, if you're in a season of becoming or kind of figuring that out, then you can take your audience along for that ride, but it's very hard to establish authority if you are up and down like a yo yo and all over the place. And you know this because you probably follow people online, but you're like, I'm kind of just here for the plot. Like, what is gonna happen next? This feels like a train, I'm watching a train wreck, right? They're here, they're there, they're here, they're there. There's no consistency, there's no trust building in what it is that they're doing, but you know, they're sharing, they're sharing their life. But then there's also this other. caveat to this, which is that you are allowed to change your mind. So to give you an example, I when I first started in the online space, I was very much in the yoga wellness world. And I created this persona around myself of always being smiley. I was like miss positive, always had a smile on my face, every photo of me, I had this big cheesy grin. And the funny part of that is as soon as a camera is on me when I'm doing a photo shoot, even if I'm like, you know what, I want to be full boss babe, my instant reaction is like, I'm awkward, I'm going to smile. Because that is the persona that I had kind of drilled into myself. And I got to this point of thinking, are people still going to like me if they realize that like there is actually a real not so much a dark side but that the equivalent of that there is this side of me that's like strong and powerful and can push into these new edges. And for me, motherhood really, really unlocked that. And so I then had to go through this reframe in my mind of will people still love me if I'm not just the smiling yogi? Will people still love me if I show them my depth? Will people still love me if I show them the vulnerability of the stuff that I'm maybe moving through or have moved through? Now the answer was yes and the connection grew stronger. But I had to shift in my mind of showing up as always being perfect and smiley. And it started, I remember I did this photo shoot with a beautiful photographer and she captured me in a way that I'd never seen myself before and I realized it was so powerful. Like imagery, branding it is so powerful the way that you see yourself. This is why I always encourage people go and get a professional photo shoot. Yes, you know, put on your blazer and look professional but also get the photographer to take some photos of you where you actually feel like where's my edge here? Is there a version of me that actually is really strong, is really powerful? Can I step into that? You can still be the happy smiley version of yourself, but it is so freeing and liberating to actually be able to be all of who you are and bring that into your personal brand. It means that you're not then stuck in this mold of I can only show up in one way because that's what people expect of me. You can surprise people by showing them the depth of your character. And that is going to be more important than ever as we navigate this whole new world because your depth of character, your lived experience, the surprising story that people are like wow, I had no idea that that that was part of your story is going to make this resonance bubble around you that is going to attract the right people your way. That is magnetism. And to be magnetic you have to be so firm and clear in who you are all parts of yourself which parts of yourself you want to show which parts of yourself you want to keep to yourself and then how you transmute your message. So I will actually list the framework below so that you can read over it because I think it's super super valuable. And if you want to dive deeper I actually have a guide which is five proven strategies for building an authentic personal brand. It's free I'm going to pop it below and you can download that and kind of go deeper into this work of really understanding personal branding from a personal point of view so that it actually also contributes to the ROI of your business. Because there's no point just making a personal brand for the sake of it because you think everyone else is doing it and some lady on the internet told me I should. It needs to actually contribute to your goals as well. So you can grab that guide I'm going to pop it in the description below so that you can grab that and then stay tuned because we're going to take this a step further and dive into brand positioning. Thank you so much for joining me and I'll be back with you soon.