S3E4: 56 and not afraid to tell it! Join us as Kwavi shares her secrets for embracing every season of life with grace, grind and grit

Did you know that over 70% of the women use the word "invisible" to describe themselves? Society does a fantastic job of packaging women in their 40s and over into boxes labeled with a sell by date or the dreaded expired sticker. You no longer need to be heard. You are no longer valued.

Well meet Kwavi as she shares her superpower for helping women become the best version of themselves while pursuing the kind of life they actually want....over the age of 50!

It’s time to not just age gracefully but to age boldly. Are you ready? Well, listen to this episode and we promise that you will cheer, laugh, praise, and did we mention laugh? 

Oh, and join in the fun when one of Kwavi’s biggest fans joins the conversation! Seriously, you don’t want to miss today’s episode. 

If you want to connect with and follow Kwavi, you can do so via Instagram @kwavi_tv, on Tik Tok via vm.tiktok.com/ZMemFBW1X or subscribe to her Youtube Channel @KwaviTV. 

And you can get her book, 50 Questions to Answer When You Reach 50, on Amazon. 

As always, Annie and I would love to hear from you. How have you been able see beautiful again, even after a traumatic or hurtful experience? Please share your story with us on IG @davenialeawrites, or on FB @annieraney.

Finally, your reviews mean the world to us, and they also assist us in spreading God's message of hope and victory across the globe! So please leave us a review on your favorite podcast player or on our Podcast Webpage 

Tell us what you think of this episode and we'd also love to hear your story!

Today's episode song is I’m Every Woman by Whitney Houston. Please note this song is for your listening enjoyment only and cannot be downloaded or shared.

Thanks for listening! From our hearts to yours!!

Transcript

Annie: Welcome to the didn't ask to be a hero podcast. I'm your host, Annie Rainey. In each episode, we will get an opportunity to see how ordinary women are now living amazing, abundant, and extraordinary lives with God's help. May their stories serve to encourage and inspire you. Let's get started. Hello, listeners, and welcome back to our podcast. I'm so glad that you joined us today. And I know I always say that I'm excited about our guests, but how can I not be so, Divina, you're with me today.

Davenia: I'm with you today.

Annie: Now, just without giving away what it is that our guest does, can you introduce her, please?

Davenia: Yes. It is my extreme pleasure to introduce to you Kwavi. She doesn't know it, but she's been such an inspiration and blessing to me. And so I'm hoping that she can share some of that love and inspiration with you all today. And so, without further ado, welcome, Kwavi.

Kwavi: Thank you. I'm so excited to be here. Thank you so much for inviting me to your podcast.

Annie: Can you just tell us a little bit about, a little bit about you growing up. What was your family like? What kind of schooling did you have?

Kwavi: Or time. I'll summarize. I'll summarize. So, I grew up in England. My parents are both african. Actually West African. My dad's from Nigeria. My mother's from Togo. And then we moved. My dad went there for school, so once he finished, we moved back to Nigeria, or they moved back to Nigeria, because obviously that was myself and my siblings going there for the first time. And so I moved to Nigeria around the age of eight. And then from the age of eight I was there until I finished high school, which was about 16. And then I moved back to England for college. And then after college, I moved to the states for work, and now I live in Atlanta. And so that's a summary of kind of my life up until this point. Now I'm married with two boys. I've been married for like, 24 years, have two boys, both in college. So, yeah. And I'm 56 years old. Yes. I always talk about my age because I think it's a badge of honor, and not everyone gets to be this age. And so to me, it's a blessing.

Annie: So, yeah, I'm going to come back to the thing you said about age, but real quick. So you went to England for college. What did, like, what was your majority?

Kwavi: Oh, information technology.

Annie: Computers.

Kwavi: Yes. And I love. And then I have my master's in medical informatics, so I kind of blended the two, information technology and healthcare. I love that whole synergy. Yeah.

Annie: Wow. I mean, what a diverse background you have. England, Nigeria, and America. That's.

Kwavi: Yeah. And when we start speaking, you'll see the different influences of. Of why I do what I do. Yeah.

Davenia: So, culturally, though, how were all of those changes? So from Nigeria then to England and then here, what was that like?

Kwavi: Okay, so what was interesting, obviously, because I was born in England, all I saw were people that didn't look like me. I saw very few people that looked like me growing up and then moved to inc to Nigeria, and it was like, oh, my goodness, so many people look like me. And as a young child, it's hard to explain the excitement that one feels and just the sense of belonging one feels when you experience that. And so. Yeah. And then, so my teenage years, preteens, such teenage years, were in Nigeria, which was great because it set that foundation of who I was and made me, you know, I really knew who I was as a person. And then moving back to England, I was fine, because now I knew who I really was, you know? And then. And then I moved to America, which is completely different, because in America, it's interesting. Someone sees me and they see the color of my skin, but they don't know what's behind that. All they see is a black person. So it's kind of interesting, too. So the kind of conversations I have with people, and they're like, oh, you didn't actually grow up in this country? Like, no, I did not. So it's very interesting the kinds of conversations I have and how it has shaped me as a person. Yeah.

Annie: Now, even though you were raised, like, a lot in. In England, but then you were in Nigeria, do you speak other than English? Do you speak other languages?

Kwavi: Unfortunately, no, I don't. And, you know, my mother's from a different country, too, in West Africa, so that also did not help. And in her country, the prominent language is French in her country, and in my dad's country is English. And so. Yeah. And then my dad, his own language, we didn't learn that because my mother doesn't speak that language either, so. But I wish I did, though. Now I'm older, I really wish I knew at least one nigerian language. I really do.

Annie: Oh, I'm with you because I'm from another. Well, I came to America when I was three, and I wish I spoke. My parents are from India, and I wish I spoke the language. And, you know, I know a word you're in or there or something. Like that. But, and when I was younger, I wanted to show that I knew English really well in America.

Kwavi: That's the thing. But, and that happened to, you know, we go through that stage where. Yeah, and now I really wish I had paid more attention to learning the language. Right.

Davenia: Because you work so hard to assimilate, which is interesting. That's what we do here. But, like, when you're in other countries, people know two and three and four different languages.

Kwavi: Yes. And.

Davenia: I think embrace more of their cultural identity and.

Annie: Yeah, go ahead, go ahead.

Kwavi: I was going to say, but what was interesting was because I was so young when I moved to Nigeria, and speaking with an english accent was not a good thing for me. Right. Because kids would tease you, they're like, oh, you speak differently. And so I quickly had to learn how to speak Pidgin English, which was the next, it was almost like broken English. I had to quickly learn how to speak. So basically they talk about code switching. That's what I would do. I would switch to speak like the kids in school. And when I would come home, I speak normally. And then sometimes the way I speak at school would come and I was like, why are you speaking like that? You know, because I'm trying to imitate the kids so I can fit in. And this is the thing, I don't think it really has to do, whether it's english language, whatever it is, as children, we want to fit in, whatever it is, good or bad, you know, I learned how to speak a different way just because I wanted to fit in as a child. Yeah. Yes.

Annie: Speaking of fitting in a certain way and wanting to be a part of society, if you will, you exuberantly exclaimed, I'm 56 years old. And it really struck a chord with me because as women, especially, I will say as women, we want to fit in. And for society, that's as a young woman, because once you pass, for some reason, it's 30, it's, oh, don't say your age. Oh, I'm turning 29 again for the fourth time. And then maybe somebody might go as high as 35. And once you pass 35, no, nobody wants to admit their age. And in fact, society has made it a rule where it's impolite to ask a woman how old they are, but wait until they pass 65, because then it's, oh, you are 70, you look good. But you excitedly exclaimed, I am 56.

Kwavi: Yes.

Annie: Why are you so excited about it?

Kwavi: Because I want to change that whole narrative. Even this thing about being impolite, who came up with those rules what makes it impolite for you to say your age? I think it's your sense of pride, of being able to say, I call it age pride. Like, you should be proud of your age regardless. And this thing about someone looks good for their age. I don't believe in that. I mean, think about it, though. How does someone look good for their. You never tell a child at 16, oh, you look good for your age. Or a ten year, you look good for your age. You know, it's like those double standards. No, we are redefining what people look like now. And so that vision that you have in your brain of how someone should look. I don't fit that mode. Or that person doesn't fit that mode. That's why you're making that comment. How about we start to shift the way we think about how women look and act and behave now? Like, let's. You know, let's catch up with how people actually look right now, as opposed to thinking they need to look a certain way. Why? That's society's way of trying to bring women down and making us feel that once we hit a certain age, it's like our life is no longer relevant. And that's because we live in a very youth obsessed world. That's just how it is.

Annie: I like that you said world, because some people think it's, oh, only in America, but you go to any country in the world. Yes, women have that where, oh, I'm an old lady now. I'm not attractive. I'm not worthy. I'm not good enough anymore because I'm not young. Which, ladies and gentlemen, I'm listeners here brings us. I think we want to touch upon what is it that Javi does for a living. And you share with us how you went from going to England for college and majoring in computers and then something in the masters in medical field. And now what?

Kwavi: So now I'm in life coach for women in their fifties and over, and my goal is to help more women realize that their life is just beginning. In other words, they can create their future and make it way more better, way, way better than how they experience their past. Like, that is a possibility for them. And for me, I use, like, I try to let them know that, first of all, they're here, which is a blessing in itself.

Davenia: Yeah.

Kwavi: Even though we have. Okay, we might have some menopausal symptoms, we might have some aches and pains. I mean, they're, you know, dry skin, which I'm experiencing right now, which I'm not too fond of. But I'm like, okay, you know, it's one of those things. But this is the thing, though. We're here. And to me, that's a blessing. Some people don't even get to experience menopause. They don't, you know, some people don't get to experience the aches and pains, but we're here. And so I love to look at it as this is an amazing time, and there are so many opportunities for women right now that we can grab. But a lot of us are worried about what people will think, you know, and it could be like, you could even mention it out loud. Some people might say, well, why do you want to do that at this age? You know, statements like that constantly. And society really, let's face it, society does frowne on older women, which is, I don't get, because this is the time where we have more wisdom. We know what we want. We really care less about what people say. And this is a time for us to really go after our goals and dreams. But we're held back by ourselves. Quite frankly. We are. It's ourselves that hold us back.

Annie: We hear this term so many times, life coach. So what is, if you can sum it up for us, what does a life coach do?

Kwavi: So what I do is I help. So women, most women come, most women, they come to me saying, you know what? I really would love to do this, but I'm not sure how. And I'm like, and I start to question them. And a lot of women also don't even know what they want. Like, a lot of women have never even asked themselves, what do I want to do right now? Like, when you're younger, that's kind of just like the norm, you know, you have all these dreams and goals, and at a certain point, a lot of women stop dreaming. And I like to say that a lot of women in their fifties and over are sleep walking through life, and I want to wake them up. And so when they come to me, I'm like, what is it? Like, let's create a passion project. That's what I always, that's always the term I use. I'm like, what is something you love to do? Like, what is something you love to do in the past, maybe something that you've had that you keep pushing down or suppressing? Like, let's talk about that. And it could be anything. Like, I'll give you an example. Like, one of my clients, she wanted to live by the beach. She lived in Texas at this time. She was in her sixties her kids had left the home, and she was divorced. And I'm like, okay. So we worked together. I asked her a number of questions, like, why can't we do. Why can't you do this? And she's like, I'm not sure. You know, at my age, is it really a good idea to be just uprooting myself and move into a different kind, different state? I'm like, but why not? Why can't you do that? Like, why do you think that's not a possibility for you? She's like, her age. I'm like, okay, so what does your age have to do with it? Like, really? Like, what does. And I keep on asking all these different questions, and then she becomes more open, like, hmm, okay, why can't I? Like, yeah, why can't I? And then we put a plan together. She sold her house, looked for a job in Texas, and now she lives by the beach in Florida.

Davenia: Nice.

Kwavi: And can you imagine the sense of just accomplishment she feels every day, knowing that she can walk to the beach? Like, that's her dream. I mean, there are so. I have so many stories like this of women who have wanted to do different things and have held themselves back because they're like, I'm not sure I can do that. And sometimes they just need that support from someone else. Because sometimes their spouses are not supporting them, their kids are not supporting them. Parents are telling them, why would you want to do that? Because some have changed careers. Some of them have been like, I had a physician who. That's all she, you know, her parents said, you know, you have to be a doctor growing up. And she did that, but she wanted to have an art gallery. You know, so many stories like that. Like you, we all have dreams and goals that God has placed in us. All of us have them. But over time, for one reason or the other, we kind of maybe lie or, you know, other people, we've suppressed them. But that dream keeps coming up, and we keep suppressing. And I always tell my clients, and even just online, I tell women, like, if you have a dream that keeps coming up, it's coming up because you're meant to share it with the world. You're not meant to keep suppressing it.

Davenia: Like I said, I follow you, and I read those inspirational emails, and I'll get excited, and then I'll have a hot flash, and then I'll go stare at myself in the mirror, and I'm like, who is that?

Kwavi: Oh, my God.

Davenia: I don't know that moment anymore. And then all of a sudden I get into a habit or pattern of I'm tired. And if I could just make it through today, that's success. And so then the dream falls by the wayside.

Kwavi: Yeah.

Davenia: So. So what? So what do we do with that? How do, how do we break, break that cycle of defeat?

Kwavi: I guess so. This is the thing, though. It's okay, so what are you making it mean? That you're tired? You're tired. Okay, so what? You're tired doesn't mean you give up on your dreams. That's the whole point. It's like we decide to use these thoughts that come up in our brains as a reason not to keep going. How about it's just the difference between deciding that, okay, I'm tired, but I'm going to still keep going, I'm tired and I can just decide. Giving up on my dreams. Like, you have a choice. We always have choice. And the choices you make is going to determine the actions. And I always tell women, like, okay, so what if you're tired? So what if it didn't work out this time? Let's try again. Let's do it a different way. Let's make. We can always keep on going. You get to, we have way more power than we realize. Way more power than we realize. And we give up. I really believe women give up too easily for themselves. They don't give up on other people though. Listen, a woman, especially a mother, if a child says they want to do something and you have no idea, you will find a way to make it happen for your child. You will find. Listen, if your child says we're going to do that, you have no idea. Never done it before. You find a way, you'll make it happen. You get the tools, read the books, do whatever. Make it happen for your child or anyone else that you love. But for ourselves, we give up on ourselves way too much. Way too much. We're completely capable. And so even when you look at that image in the mirror, okay, maybe you might not look great today. Well, guess what? Even if you don't look great, you can still keep on going. Yeah, we don't, we're not always gonna look great when we look ourselves in the mirror. I mean, it's just the way it is.

Annie: You've so many women that I know of, all different ages, even in their teens and twenties, thirties, so on and so forth, and how, you know, we, we're willing to go to the nth degree for others. And then when it comes to ourselves, well, I'm so busy. Why are you busy? Oh, I'm doing this for the church and whatnot, my kids and friends, et cetera. So when, Kwavi, I'm curious, when did you not necessarily realize this? When did you recognize that, wow, maybe there's something I can do about this because all the women in my life need it. Were you ever one of those women? And that's what changed? Or how did you get to this point where you're like, okay, these women that are 50 and over, I am going to try and help them. How did you come to this?

Kwavi: So it's interesting. When I was about maybe 910, eleven, I constantly saw these images of women in Nigeria that just celebrated themselves. And they were typically in their fifties, sixties and seventies. Like, they have big parties in Nigeria when you turn 50, when you turn 60, when you turn, it's a big thing. It's a big deal. And I used to find it so fascinating and interesting. I'm like, wow. And the way these women would carry themselves, I'm like, wow, this confidence, I'm like, and they were just celebrated. And I thought, hmm. And in my mind back then, I'd say, I can't wait to be in my fifties and sixties. That's what I would tell myself. Now, fast forward, college in the UK, completely different messaging. Like, oh, no, after 30, oh, it's all downhill, you know, it's that messaging of, oh, you have to remain as young as you can. But I also, it's almost like that image from Nigeria was anchored in me. I always thought about that and I was like, you know, I'm not going to let that stop me. And I have to credit my dad. He was someone that, I'm an only girl, so I was really close to him and he would always tell me that you can do whatever you put your mind to. And I always had that at the back of my mind whenever I did anything, like people would say, oh, you sure you can really do that? I'm like, I'll try. I'll do it. And so for me, I was always the one telling other people from a very young age, let's go do this, let's go try this. Let's see if this happens. Let's work this out. And so I think I was about to turn 50 and I was really excited about turning 50. And I did this whole 50 days to 50 post blog posts. Like every day I would post something up until I turned 50. And I remember a lot of people were really excited for me, but a lot of women were saying things like, well, I know I would never do that. You know, I wouldn't want anyone to know about my age or, I'm not that excited about turning. And I was like, why? And it was, I had more people saying that than more people saying, I'm excited. I was like, that's interesting. And that's kind of what got me thinking. I started doing more research online, and I learned about invisible women's syndrome, where women at a certain age now start to feel invisible. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm like, this is not, this is not how it's supposed to be. And that's when I got really interested and I said, you know what? I'm going to do my part, no matter how small, to help inspire more women in their fifties and over to really go after their dreams and goals. Because I know that the world can be a better place if more women at this age went after their dreams and goals. Like, think about the energy that women have. And especially when you're older, you have more wisdom. You've gone through so much. You've gone through different obstacles and challenges, and you can use that to help others, too. So why not?

Annie: Why?

Kwavi: This isn't the time to say, okay, now I'm going to shrink back into the shadows and just kind of chill. No, this is time for us to really just get out there and start doing what we need to do so that we can inspire the younger generation. Because they're watching us, they're looking at us, and so we can make it even way better for them. Like, if we did what we needed to do now. So that's kind of how it kind of spiraled into, you know, I want to help inspire more women. Yeah.

Davenia: So what are some amazing things then that you've done after 50?

Kwavi: Okay, so I've done a lot of retreats. So what I do now is I do retreats. I take women to all these wonderful places. Like, we've done it in Bali, Morocco, Thailand, Greece. And I just take them there because I know that women do not take time for themselves. And so many ideas and dreams have been birthed in those places where we just take time out with that. Okay, I'm going to just focus. We do seven days, six nights. We're like, okay, just focus on yourself. That's all I want you to do. And it's so interesting to see how women behave when they don't have to. I get a private chef, don't have to do anything, no chores, nothing. All you have to do is just wake up in the morning, and we just. Just think about yourself. Ran the marathon. I ended. Ran out because I was like, yeah. You know, I'm like, why can't we do these things? Because at a certain age, like, why? Why not? You know? And so for me, it's all about doing these exciting things that people probably say, well, you shouldn't be doing that at your age. I'm like, but why not? And I have so many more things that I want to do. Wow. Yeah.

Davenia: But sounds like to me that many of us, like, we turn 50, and then we start to planning to die, you know, as opposed to living, like, yeah, yeah, that's the difference.

Kwavi: And like I said earlier, like, I feel so many women are sleepwalking through life. They're here, but they really sleep. I'm like, no, wake up, Kavi.

Annie: You reminded me that there's a lot of people, especially, I think, in my culture, southern, asian, indian culture, there's a lot of women who, once they become a mother, their life becomes their children, their identity becomes their children. I'm totally with loving your children and, of course, doing everything and anything for them. But how do you convince women when they get into their fifties? Yes, you still want to love your children and be there for them, but you also need to be your own person.

Kwavi: Yeah. And you know the strangest thing? Even your kids want that for you because they see what's happening to them. They see, like you said, they seed I, you know, like, their mothers. It's like they're changing because they have nothing else to live for. Everyone needs something that wakes you up in the morning. Like, why are you getting up in the morning? Like, what excites you when you wake up if you have no joy? It's almost like you're dying. And so I want to help more women like you. Focusing on your dreams and goals helps a relationship with your children because you have something else to talk about other than just trying to find out what your kids are doing and lesser, even your kids don't want you focus on them 100%. They don't want that. They've grown. They have their own lives. And then you start to feel almost resentful because they're not calling as often, they're not coming to visit as often. They have a life. You have done your job. They're independent. Now is your time.

Annie: So you have this amazing message to deliver to women and especially those over 50. What kind of platforms do you use to get this message out there? Have you written a book? Do you have a website? What do you do?

Kwavi: Yes, I've written a book. A book called 50 questions. The answer when you reach 50. So I have that book. Yeah, yeah. It's on Amazon. And I wrote that book during COVID because it was almost like. Yeah, it's a love letter to women. Like, yes. And then I have another book that I'm writing now, which is more like a novel about women, you know, like, almost like. Like four women who are now in their fifties and sixties and just their journey up into that point, because I don't think they have enough stories like that. And quite frankly, I actually wanted. My goal is that I'm gonna, you know, pitch it to Netflix or who the. One of these streaming companies, because I want them to have shows about women of color and their journey. So.

Annie: Yeah, on. Davina said something earlier about how she follows you. So, like, what social media platforms are you on?

Kwavi: Oh, yeah. So I'm on Instagram. I'm on TikTok. I have a YouTube channel. I host a show called 50 shades of over 50, where I interview women to view women in their fifties and over doing amazing things. Like, I've interviewed a woman who's in her fifties who just went back to medical school. What? Yes. Yes. I interviewed a woman who is, you know, who became a park ranger at the age of 70. You might have heard of her about. Yeah. And she retired. No, 85. I'm sorry, 85. And she retired at 100. She just turned 103 years old just a few days ago. Yeah. I mean, so many stories. And then another lady who started dancing. Now, she moved from California. She's now in New York. She's doing all these amazing shows, and she's in different commercials. I'm like, women our age are doing amazing things, and more women need to know about this. They really need to know.

Annie: I looked you up on. On Instagram. So I looked it up. She's got, like, 13,000 followers. Okay. But then TikTok, which, by the way, I have a niece who's on TikTok, and she's, like, showing me stuff, and I kind of go on TikTok a little bit to look at some stuff. But my niece, of course, she's, like, 2021, right? And so we all know Kavi's more than twice her age, right? But Kwavi has herself. Ladies and gentlemen, listeners, are you hearing this? She has just about 80,000 followers on. In. On TikTok. So because you got to be active on TikTok with these little videos. So wouldn't it be so cool if we could talk to one of your fans, just to see what their perception is of you. I mean, Divinia is following you. I'm about to follow you. I'm getting to know you now in this pod, but I wonder if there's somebody who. Davina, do you think you and I might have a connection to somebody who's a fan?

Davenia: I actually think. Hold on. I think we have one of your biggest fans joining us now.

Annie: Oh, the superfan. You were telling me about the superfan. Okay, so, listeners, we have a special treat because we have a kwavi superfan. Probably, in her words, she would say, she is so Divina. Would you like to introduce her, listeners? I wish you could see her face. We just had her join our zoom.

Laura: Oh, my. Be still, my beating heart. I'm sorry.

Kwavi: I'm sorry.

Annie: I have to.

Laura: Give me a minute. You gotta give me a minute. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Oh, my goodness.

Kwavi: How are you?

Laura: It's unreal. I'm sorry.

Kwavi: I'm sorry. No, it's fine.

Laura: It's fine.

Davenia: So this is actually how I was introduced to you.

Kwavi: Oh, really?

Davenia: My sister in love. And she. She would rave about you and tell me about you and be talking, and as Kwabi said and what Kwabi said, and I'm just like, who is Kavi? And so when I told her that, I reached out to you and how gracious you were, and she just had to be here. I could not have done this and not had her here. And so, thank you, Laura. We're actually gonna, like, turn this over to Laura. The Laura and Kavi show.

Kwavi: No way. Let's go.

Laura: No way. Say it ain't so. Say it ain't so. I tell you, it is an absolute pleasure just to meet you and to see you. And your energy is absolutely amazing. Amazing. So anyone that does not follow her on instagram or any other platform, you gotta do it. Like, the energy is. It's contagious, right? And so when you say good morning, it's not just good morning, it's good morning. I'm like, who is this woman?

Kwavi: Who is she? I'm just gonna ask you a couple questions, okay? Okay.

Laura: Because you are the author of this book, 50 questions to answer when you reach 50. So now that I'm there, and I've been there for quite some time. So my first question to you is, this is question number 16. And it says, do the people I surround myself with regularly add value to my life? So my question for you is, if you have people around you that do not add value, what do you do? Do you delete them? What do you do?

Kwavi: Oh, no, let me tell you what I do. They're not in my inner circle, that's all. Because they have you. It's almost like, you know, when you go to a concert, you have, like, people that pay to get really close, people that are further away. People are in the bleachers. Yeah. They stay in the bleachers. Yeah. And you have to regularly audit people, because think about it, the people that are in your inner circle, you communicate with more frequently. That's just how it is. And then you tell them more things. The people outside, they don't have access to you like that, so they all have different levels of access to you. And everyone has a season anyway. I always say that, you know, you have seasons of friendships, and so that tends to happen. But the people that are close, I keep them close. That's awesome.

Laura: That is awesome. So she says a lot, if you are not a follower, which I am, but if y'all are not a follower, she says all the time about growing old boldly. Growing old boldly. So can you explain that just a little bit? What do you mean, growing old boldly?

Kwavi: So the first step in growing old boldly is being able to say your age out loud for people to just not like, oh, I'm, no, I'm 56, I'm 67. You say it out loud. That's the first step for me. This is a blessing. It's a privilege to get older. I'm going to be myself, and we all. And the other thing I want to also share. Share is we all age different. And that's okay. It's okay. It's like, we don't have to all age in the same way, you know? And that's why I say it's important for you to be true to yourself. Age boldly in your own way. And that's fine, son. This is the time to show that part of who you are. And I think it's also helpful to the younger generation, because they, we live in a very youth obsessed society, and so if they can see how we are living, it's almost like, oh, she's in my sixties, and look at what she's doing. Interesting. Maybe I could do that, too. When I get to her age. That's my goal. My goal is I want younger people to say, oh, I can't wait to get older. But now it's the opposite. And I've actually had a few people say that to me because they, they see that it's not as frightening, but we have to share the information. And when. I mean share, share everything. When it comes to menopause, share all of that. I don't know how most of you got. My mom never told me anything about medical, so it was kind of like, oh, what is this? We need to share to that, because when you know what is coming, it's not as daunting.

Laura: Very nice.

Kwavi: Yeah.

Laura: All right, I have another question for you. What would you do if money, fear, age, and what others thought were not an issue?

Kwavi: I think I'm doing a lot of things now, but I think, for me, is really pushing forward with this, just really sharing this narrative that age doesn't define who you are. Like, really sharing that message all over the world. Like, my goal is I really want to impact a million women like that because I know that if I impact a million women, it's going to be because women always impact their circle. So if I impact many women, can you imagine the number of people those women will impact? It's a domino effect. Like, so many people will have that impact, and it just keeps on flowing. So, yeah.

Laura: Wow, that's awesome. So where does all this energy come from?

Kwavi: But I think it all comes from within. It comes from knowing that I'm very comfortable with who I am, knowing that I'm going to go to places people might not like. Might not like. There are people that say, okay, kwabi, calm down. You're too much for me. It's okay. But I'm like, you know what? This is who I am. You're either going to like or you don't. And that's because we're all different, you know, that's what makes this whole world unique. And so for me, this energy just comes from within. I am on a mission to empower more women, and that just. That passion just shines through. Like, this is me. Like, in the morning, my son and my boys are like, oh, mom. I'm like, yes, this is me. I want to dance in the morning. I'm just like, that's just me. And I think also, too, I have a very intimate relationship with God. I know that God loves me. God has my back all the time. And I think that is also. That's part of who I am. And that that relationship allows me to shine through knowing that, you know what? God has my back. So that, too. Yeah.

Annie: So, Kavi, you mentioned how God is such an integral part of your life. Do you have a favorite or significant Bible verse or character that has impacted you?

Kwavi: Yes, it's ecclesiastes. Three one, which talks about a season is a season for, there's a time for every season. Like, yes. Like, this is our season. There was a time. If you're a mother, maybe there was time you had kids. If you were younger, the time you watched much younger, you were focused on a career. Now is your time to focus on you in a different way. You can still focus on your career. You can still focus on a business. You can still focus on a hobby. But it's a different season. It's a different season.

Davenia: And what I keep hearing from you is how we should embrace each season, whatever that season is. Embrace it and. And walk in it boldly.

Kwavi: Yes. Walk in it boldly. Like, why not? Like, I always say that if you're gonna do something, do it to, like, do it. Just go all in. Like, why are you going to do it in a mediocre way? Like, what's the point? Right? What's the point? Like, just go all in and do it and see what happens.

Annie: Gaubi, we could keep talking to you forever, but our podcast time is almost coming to an end. But I wanted to give Laura. Laura, meeting one of your favorite. Laura, I got one more question.

Laura: One more question.

Kwavi: Okay, go ahead. Go ahead.

Laura: Envision what song gets you going.

Kwavi: Okay. I'm every woman.

Davenia: That's our theme song.

Kwavi: Yay. I love it because it just talks. Because women, we are different in so many different ways. But, you know, I'm every woman. Oh, I love that song. That just gets me going. Yeah. Wow.

Laura: Can I ask one more?

Annie: Is Laura begging to ask another question? Should we let her put her back in the waiting room? I'm here.

Kwavi: I'm here.

Laura: I was in that waiting room by myself. No snacks, no drinks, no nothing. I was like, this is a horrible waiting room. Next time, I'm gonna need some snacks.

Kwavi: So.

Laura: Okay, I need to know just a rundown of questions. Favorite color.

Kwavi: Favorite color. It changes from time to time. Let me see. Oh, talkwise, right now, though, talk wise. Yeah.

Laura: Favorite food.

Kwavi: Oh, okay. I love kale.

Annie: Who said that?

Kwavi: I put in a salad. I put in a smoothie. Yes.

Laura: All right, favorite dessert?

Kwavi: Bread pudding.

Davenia: Now, is that the, like, the, like, caribbean former bread pudding or, like.

Kwavi: It is because the british type of bread pudding. So it's probably similar. Yes.

Davenia: Okay.

Kwavi: Oh, yeah.

Davenia: With the. With the. With that cream sauce on it, whatever.

Kwavi: Yes. You have to have that. It can be dry. Oh, no. Yeah, yeah. Okay.

Laura: All right. Favorite word.

Kwavi: Oh, I think it's gonna be joy. Excited. Those are words I use a lot. Yeah.

Laura: The sound you most like to hear.

Kwavi: Laughter. Yes. Okay.

Laura: The sound that you don't like to hear of.

Kwavi: Screaming.

Laura: Screaming.

Kwavi: Right. Yeah. Yeah, that just. Oh, yeah. Well, shrieking. Yeah, that just. Yeah. Don't.

Laura: Don't want.

Kwavi: I don't watch horror movies. None of that. No, not my thing. No.

Laura: Got it.

Kwavi: Got it.

Laura: Last question. Last question.

Kwavi: Last question.

Laura: Favorite time of the day?

Kwavi: Oh, morning, like, 04:30 a.m. that is me.

Davenia: I love it, love it, love it.

Laura: Well, thank you all for allowing me to ask all of my questions. Thank you so much. It has been an absolute pleasure to meet you. And this is just amazing. Absolutely. I'm almost like starstruck.

Annie: Ladies, thank you so much, Kavi and our extra guest, Laura, for joining us today. It was such a pleasure for divinity and I to speak with you today. And, Kwavi, you are amazing. I've already, while Laura was interviewing you, I started to follow you. So you have another follower to add to it. And I hope, listeners, that you will also follow her. And even her book is available on Amazon. I'm sure Divinia will have it in the links on our Missouri ministries website. And I'm really reaching out, ladies, some people think that when you turn 50, it's all downhill from there. And after listening to Kavi, it would make sense for me to say, no way. It ain't over at 50. It's not all downhill. It's just beginning. But leave it up to me to change this, because I'm going to say, you know what? After 50, folks, it is dull downhill. But, ladies, I want you to remember when you were a kid, what was more fun? Climbing up a hill or sledding downhill, grudging up a roller coaster, or speeding down that roller coaster coaster with lots of twists and turns? Well, that was the more fun part, wasn't it? So after 50, it is all downhill. Whether you're 50, 60, 70, or older, you've already climbed that hill of life, my friends. And now the ride is entering into a new side of greatness. So, Esq has said, set new goals for yourself. And you know what? If you ask God to re energize you and help you, you just might become a great example to women of all generations. To be proud and to be happy of their real age. And remember, as Kwavi has shown us, God isn't done with you yet. Let him lead you on this downhill ride and thrill of a lifetime. And even though you didn't ask for it, you just might become someone's hero. So ladies, from our hearts to yours. This song's for you.