S4E11: From Heartbreak to Hope: Donna Magloire Shares Her Story of Finding Joy After Loss - Episode 5 of 6 of the Cancer Sucks, Jesus Saves Summer Series

Cancer Sucks, Jesus Saves is a six-part podcast series that tackles the raw reality of cancer while shining a light on unshakable hope in Christ. In today's moving episode of Cancer Sucks, but Jesus Saves, we sit down with a wife who lost her beloved husband to cancer 17 years ago. She reflects on the painful road of grief—the tears, the questions, and the ache of raising children without their father. But she also shares how, over time, God met her in the valley, restored her heart, and led her into a life overflowing with joy.

Today, her adult children are thriving, her faith is deeper than ever, and her story is a testimony that loss doesn’t have to have the last word. Through Christ, sorrow can give way to hope, and brokenness can be made beautiful.

Because while cancer may take a life, Jesus gives life everlasting.

This episode honors the unseen heroes: the survivors who've lost a loved one to cancer and who still strives to make a difference every day.

Stay tuned for the final episode on next Thursday August 28^th with therapist/counselor, Weena Wise who helps navigate the emotional and spiritual toll.

And you can also listen to previous episodes here as well!

Together, these voices remind us that while cancer is devastating, it doesn’t have the final say—Jesus does.

And as always, Annie and I would love to hear from you. Have you or a loved one been impacted by cancer or another illness? How are you coping? How can we pray for you? Please email us at mazuri@mazuriministries.org, or share your story with us on IG @davenialeawrites, or on FB @annieraney

And if you know someone who might benefit from this series, please share it with them. Your share might just be the hope they need!

Finally, your reviews mean the world to us, and they also assist us in spreading God's message of hope and victory across the globe! So please leave us a review on your favorite podcast player or on our Podcast Webpage 

🔗 Again, don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review to keep the conversation going!

Today's episode songs are (yes, you're getting two songs again) I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston and The Lady of My Life by Michael Jackson. Please note these songs are for your listening enjoyment only and cannot be downloaded or shared.

Transcript

Annie: Welcome to the Didn't Ask to Be a Hero podcast.

I'm your host, Annie Raney. In each episode, we will get an opportunity to see how ordinary women are now living amazing, abundant, and extraordinary lives with God's help.

May their stories serve to encourage and inspire you. Let's get started.

Hello, listeners. I am so glad that you've joined us today for this episode.

And,

you know, I was trying to think of how I was going to open up this episode because it's. Well, it's not the.

It's not the happiest of topics to begin with.

And as you know, we've been talking the last several episodes with this summer series that Divinia had in mind about cancer and talking with different people who've had different interactions with cancer, either as a patient, as a caregiver, caretaker, as a survivor.

And Divinia actually had a very dear friend signed up to interview,

and we had her scheduled, had the Zoom link sent out, and she was so excited to talk with us and share her journey. She had recently been diagnosed,

and unfortunately, as cancer does,

can, you know, it can take you away. And it did.

She ended up passing away two days prior to our Zoom meeting. And we want to actually dedic this episode to her and to her family and to many others who are going through cancer or who have lost someone to cancer.

Our thoughts and our prayers are with them. Divinia, can you tell us her name?

Davenia: Yes. So, as Annie shared, this episode is in tribute of Kia Benjamin.

She was such a light, and like Annie said, she was so excited to do this podcast, and what she wanted to share was hope and share her faith.

So today,

in honor of Kia's life, but also hopefully to serve as encouragement to her husband,

I call him Henry, she called him J.R.

many others did as well,

and their three sons. Today we're hoping to share hope. So we have with us again guest today who I know very well.

We were just talking before we begin recording.

Must be, what, 40 years now? We are high school besties,

and.

But yes, we. We've been friends for a long time,

and today I'd like to welcome Donna to our podcast. Thank you so much for being willing to share your story,

and hopefully we'll be spreading some hope today.

Donna: Thank you, Divinia. Thank you, Annie. It's a pleasure to be here.

Davenia: All right, well, we'll just dive right in first. Before we hear your story, just tell us a little bit about who you are.

Donna: Okay.

Davenia: What life's been like.

Donna: Sure. All right, so as Davinia has said, I am Donna. I have known her at least 40 years.

I am in New York, and that's where we knew each other.

She actually left me after high school to go to college. I always say that she left me, but we very much stayed in contact as if we were still around the corner.

High school guidance counselor.

And I was married.

I lost my husband 17 years ago, actually.

And we had two kids at the time. My son was 8, my daughter was 15.

So, yeah, it was a hard conversation to talk about initially, but I feel that after 17 years, I feel that I can talk about it with.

With hope,

with positivity, that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Davenia: Thanks for again sharing your story. And why don't you take us back to that time of.

Well, first, before you do that, tell us a bit about Georgie and what life is like with him.

And if you want, you can even tell how you all may.

Donna: Sure.

Oh, gosh.

Oh, gosh, he's bringing up stories now.

Okay,

so, yes, like Davinia said, my husband's name was Georgie. His name was George, but they call him Georgie.

Everybody knew him as a very light hearted young man, just funny, just had a great time,

very loyal,

just a great person, great heart. Will give you the shirt off his back. He was just that kind of person.

I.

I saw him in high school,

but never spoke to him. I was a very shy student and so I met him at a flea market. Davinian, I. And I'm gonna pull you into this as well,

because the day that I met my husband is the same day that Davinia and I were out at this place. It was called Shoppers Village for anyone who knows of New York and the old Shoppers Village, who's listening?

It was just to kind of go out and go, you know, shop.

And so he was there with his cousin.

As we were walking out, Georgie and his cousin were walking in and he,

I guess, said hello to me. I kind of said hello to him.

And his cousin said, hey, you know, you want to get her number? Why don't you get it? He being the shy person he was, he was like, no, no, no, no.

Anyway, long story short, his cousin was saying, here, he wants your number and here's his, give me yours. Anyway, so we exchanged numbers that day.

And that was before the cell phones, that was before all that, you know, technology. So we actually wrote numbers down on paper and kept it. Yes,

Remember those days? And that night we actually went out on our first date to the movies. And since then,

that Was it made history?

Davenia: All right, so how long were you all married before the diagnosis?

Donna: So we were married for 11 years.

Um, and we were so excited that we made our 10 year anniversary.

And, you know, through ups and downs, obviously. So you make it through that first year and then you made it through the fifth year and then you made it through the tenth year.

We were like, yes. Um, at that point, you know, we had our kids,

we had a house,

we thought we were doing the American dream. It was great. We were blessed, which I'm, I'm very grateful to, for everything.

But you never know why things happen.

He was a very active person.

He would play basketball, he would run, and he was always that person who wanted to outbeat the younger kids, you know, the teenagers, and race them.

He started noticing that he couldn't do that anymore, where some of the kids on the block would say, hey, Mr. Georgie, let's go race.

And he would try to race them.

And then he realized he would get out of breath.

And so we coughed it up that he was just getting old and, ah, you can't do it anymore. And we left it at that. But then he started developing some aches and pains in his back.

And once again,

we were saying, wow, you know what, These are the things that happens when you get older.

Didn't really think anything of it, mind you. I was 38 when my husband passed away and he was 40, so. So within that two or three years prior,

you know, he had been feeling like this, but we just never acted on it. And again, I always say that any little thing that you do feel or are not,

are not comfortable with or unusual, just go check it out. Just, even if it's just, you know, they tell you it's nothing, then fine. Because that was our,

I think, my regret, not pushing him to go to the doctor and say, hey, let's check this out.

He was never one to go to the doctor, so I respected that.

But who thought at 38 and 40 that there would be something that we would worry about? So we thought, you know, okay. He needed more sleep. Okay. The kids kept us very active.

Okay. We were very busy. He worked, you know, a lot of overtime. And so we were doing the daily things of life and not really thinking about it. And then he said, look, you know, I really am having trouble now, you know, breathing.

I'm out of breath, my back is hurting, something's going on. So. So he had gone to the emergency room and they gave him X rays, they gave him tests, they did blood work,

and Believe it or not,

they said they didn't see anything. There was nothing there.

So they sent him home,

but then he still was not feeling himself. Then, let's see,

it was March 2007.

He went back to the hospital. He's like, hey, you know what? I'm still having these chest pains. I'm still having these back pains.

Something is going on. You can't send me back home.

I won't go home. Something is wrong. So at that point, they started doing other scans more in depth than the X rays.

And then they told him,

I'm recommending to an oncologist. And so at that point,

I remember he said,

I don't know what they mean by this, but they said, I have to go to an oncologist for further testing.

And we went to the doctor's office,

and they basically told us what we did not want to hear,

that he had stage four liver cancer.

So, of course I broke down. I was there trying to be strong for him.

His sister was actually with us. I remember that day, and she was really the one kind of keeping both of us together. Because at that point, all I saw was, oh, my gosh, the life just flashed before me of, he's not going to be here.

What am I going to do? I have the two kids. I have a mortgage.

I have all these bills. He was the one really working at the time because I had gone back to school.

So that was just a flash before my eyes, like, what are we going to do?

So we kind of got ourselves together and said, okay, now what do we need to do? At this point,

he expressed to us that not only did he have liver cancer,

but the pain in his chest that he was feeling was because the cancer had actually spread to his lungs. So at that point, we were like,

oh, that's why he was out of breath a lot.

So that was the beginning of our journey.

I remember not telling the kids at first because in my heart of hearts, you know,

I said, he's going to do better. He's got to get better. He's young.

He doesn't smoke. I was like, nope, we're going to fight this. You know, we read all, you know, the things. Eating better,

not drinking, you know, a lot of the juices and natural foods and, you know, cutting out the sugars. And at that point, though, at stage four,

it had already gotten to a point of,

I guess some would say no return, but I still felt and believed that it would.

Do you have chemo or radiation or any of that?

Yes, yes. So we did go to Sloan Kettering. We were referred to a doctor there,

and he put him on a round of chemo.

Speaker D: And.

Donna: And they explained to us that it would be,

you know, the loss of appetite, the losing of the hair,

the energy did decrease, which all that did happen, the emotional stress. So we did get counseling for that. Not only just, hey, here, take this chemo, but where the effects, mentally and emotionally, that will leave us as well.

Which I was very grateful for, too, because I remember the doctor sat me down and said,

you're going to need counseling because not only just because of the potential outcome,

but also the roller coaster of emotions that you have to deal with as the caretaker. Because at this point,

I was working part time,

so I took time off to actually be there for him.

Annie: So how many months did he have.

Donna: To go through chemo?

That's the crazy part, Annie, because he was diagnosed in March of 2007.

He passed away in June of 2007.

So it was a very aggressive answer.

It was a tidal wave of emotion. And that's why I think I get emotional, because in my heart of hearts, I'm like, we're going to fight this and we're going to be fine.

And I was strong, but at the time, you know, I'm running around with the kids. I'm back and forth at the lacrosse games and back and forth at the cheerleading things and still trying to maintain a level of normalcy, I guess, because in my heart, I'm like, this is going to be okay.

Dad is just not feeling well right now.

He's going to be okay. I think at some point, I can't remember when I did have to tell them that he did have cancer because I didn't want to happen.

And they totally just didn't see him again.

Davenia: And during the midst of this, too, his. Georgie's dad was also fighting cancer, right?

Donna: What? Yes. It's crazy. At the same time.

Davenia: Yeah.

Donna: Yeah. So his dad was actually diagnosed before him. His dad used to live in Florida.

He was also in stage four.

And at the time,

unfortunately, when he passed away, his dad,

my husband, couldn't go to the funeral.

And he felt so awful because he knew his dad was sick for about six months.

He had seen him before he died, but he couldn't go to the funeral because at that point he had started his own chemo.

So I remember he said, I want you to take the kids. You and the kids go,

so you can represent me.

And I said, okay. I didn't want to leave him by himself, but one of his aunts,

Nenen had stayed with him.

So I was very grateful for that. So she allowed me and the kid to say goodbye to his dad.

But that was another thing that we were fighting with, too, the whole family. Actually,

his dad passed away June 1st of 2007. My husband was still undergoing the chemo, but unfortunately, about three or four weeks later,

he also passed on the 24th of June.

Annie: So was your husband's mom still alive?

Donna: She was, yes.

Annie: And she lost her husband and then her son three weeks later.

Donna: Her own,

always done.

Yeah. She has two kids, a girl and a boy,

and that was her youngest, the boy. So, needless to say, she was a wreck herself. She was an absolute wreck. But I have to give it off to her.

She got through it. We got through it. She was there for us. She was there for the kids.

I have to say, it takes a village between my mom,

my family.

His mom,

his sister has been the rock in our lives. They never let a day pass that they don't make sure that they're in their lives, that his family is a part of them.

They have been amazing. My family has been the rock.

It's just. It's. I don't even know. Sometimes people say, well, how did you do it?

I don't know. I honestly think that. I say my kids were my fuel and my reason for going because I wanted to give them a certain level of normalcy where.

Okay, let's just keep going,

you know, not that we are not acknowledging that he has passed, but I also didn't want it to be traumatic. Where now? Oh, sorry, we have to leave your school.

You're not. You're not finished high school. We have to move out of the house. We have to leave what we've known.

So I am so grateful that God allowed me to be able to financially still stay in the house for them to complete the high school that they were in,

that I would still be able. Had straight strength enough to still be able to attend, you know, whatever lacrosse games or awards or cheerleading practice. When I couldn't go, I had a family member say, don't worry, I'll go to that track meet.

You go over here with your daughter. Or vice versa. So when I say it takes a village, that was it.

And I must say also, and I know Davinia is very modest in this.

I remember when I was going through it, and she. She would say, if you need anything, and I would say, don't worry about it. I'm good.

You don't have to come down Here, I'm okay.

But she knew what I needed.

And I remember coming out of the doctor's offices and.

And I come out and you were sitting there.

I don't know if you remember that. And all I could do was just like the tears because I never.

But you know what? A friend knows what you need even when you don't. And at that point, the emotions came out, the te. Tears came out because I was so happy to see you.

And I just. I needed that.

I needed it.

Annie: Now, Donna, I'm going to ask you a question that I'm curious about.

You mentioned God. And we believe in an all powerful almighty God who can,

you know, raise Lazarus from the dead, who can heal with just the touch of his garment, with just a word. He doesn't even have to touch you. He can just say it and believe in that.

We have that faith. And so your husband diagnosed,

and he looks at you and says, we're gonna, you're gonna get through this. We're gonna pray on it. And God can heal him. God has the power to heal him,

but he doesn't. How do you reconcile with that? So how did God play into this whole journey in just three months, which is such a short,

powerful journey?

Donna: That is a great question. Because it's funny that you said that because some people would say, I prayed on this. And now I'm so mad because it didn't happen. I had one particular person say that they're so mad because I really thought that this was gonna happen.

And it's so ir,

I'm turning around and consoling them and saying,

but it happens for a reason.

God has its own plan. We don't understand it. And I said, his job here,

whatever it was done.

I said from the time. And I'm a believer. That is when you're born,

you have a time that is set forth. You do what God's will here is and then that's it. And I think that's what got me through it too, because I feel like I don't think.

I know God doesn't make any mistakes. My faith in knowing that things always happen for a reason. And there's a plan for me, there was a plan for him.

I'm a believer of that. And that gives me comfort when I pray. And then just honestly, you pray and you get that feeling of calm and it's okay. That's how I felt.

I love that. I love that.

Annie: I just, I just. This takes me to another question, though. So how do you feel when your husband, you Said he was just 40, right?

Davenia: He had just turned 40.

Annie: And you were still in your 30s. You're so young,

and then you hear these stories of someone else, and maybe they're older and they get cancer and they survive. And your husband is this young one with two young children to raise and a young wife.

And what do you do when you hear the stories of somebody else who has cancer? Survive and live for another 5, 10, 20, 30 years.

When you hear that, how do. How do you feel?

Donna: I mean, honestly, it makes you feel, like,

really. Well, why couldn't my husband. I mean, the human part of us,

yeah, he was a good guy. He was a great father. He took care of what he had to. He was sweet, he was loyal. This is someone that, you know, why would you not keep him around?

But again, I feel that that is my carnal mind saying that and my selfish me saying that.

But I honestly feel that the. There are so many things I don't understand,

but that's where my faith comes in. And I know it sounds crazy,

and I mean, people have said to me, I don't get it. How is it as a wife, you have two kids,

you have a mortgage. How are you still smiling?

Davenia: You know, when you talk about the faith, that's when that.

Donna: When.

Davenia: When it kicks in that you have to go back to what you know to be true.

And what you know to be true is that God is good,

right?

All the time, in all his ways,

and he wants my good.

And so even when we don't understand stand,

even when we're hurting,

even in our anger, we have to keep going back to that fact that God is good. And yeah, definitely, that's what I hear you saying.

Donna: And I have to say, Andy, even with that question, even though initially, you know, you get angry as a human, you know, physical being, I have to say that I've never been left alone.

Like, he has made that way for me in every way thereafter.

There was somebody always coming in that was there to help, whether it be. Help me out with the kids, whether it be making sure that financially we were still okay, whether, you know, the kids went to counseling.

But they are such positive kids as well. And I have to say that, and I'm so grateful and blessed with that.

We're going to do this. And we came. Became such a unit together.

And I think that's what built our strength as well, too.

They looked at me for strength, but in actuality, they were my strength. And so we kind of leaned on each other and we really just really Bend it together. And I have to say that no matter what I needed to do or have done, he's provided for us.

Annie: What kind of, I don't know, suggestions, tips and. Or just words of comfort could you say to someone, having gone through it yourself?

Donna: I would. I mean, for me, I would say, honestly, give yourself time to grieve.

And that is, again, obviously, can be very subjective, depending on how people grieve. Everyone would grieve differently.

For me, it was sometime it was quiet time. It was time that I needed to myself. It was prayer time. It was even time with my kids,

having talks with them and being very open and honest because you said that, you know, her husband, they had kids, Kia and her husband,

really being open about what has happened. I mean, for me, my kids used to ask, so what did daddy have?

I was honest about it.

I feel like it was really important to answer that.

Prayer time with us. You know, we talked about it,

we said what was on our mind, we cried together.

We weren't embarrassed about it. And like I said, the grief, just allowing yourself to grieve. Some people would say, you know what, you need to get over that now. You are a young girl.

Go out and find someone else.

That didn't really take so well to me. And I get. I know that they were trying to be helpful, but I just feel allow yourself to take that time that you need the way that you need to grieve it and to move past it.

You never forget.

You absolutely never Forget. It's been 17 years. And even now, as you guys are talking about,

is still raw,

but life gets.

Okay, life gets. Life moves on. And you do, you know, move with that.

You know, life is. Is still a blessing. Life still. There's things to be done. I mean, my kids are grown now. My. My son is 27 years old. He was about.

About to be married. My daughter is 33, married and expecting.

So I look at it, yes, as a blessing. And I always feel that every event that happens, I always say, hey, Georgie, look at that, your daughter's getting married. And, hey, I mean, she actually got married on his birthday, June 19th.

So that was another sign for us that, you know, all other dates were taken for the venues.

The photographers weren't available on other dates.

And then it just came together like, oh, I can only do it this day. The photographer, the dj, the.

The. The church venue,

everything was that day. And I was like, you are still with us. And I just feel like all these just align.

Davenia: But, yeah, the tribute that you all did to him was so beautiful.

And I like how you.

You,

yes, you may still miss him,

and at times it can feel raw,

but I guess you didn't allow that to turn into bitterness.

Donna: You.

Davenia: You still experienced the joy of parenting and seeing them grow and going through all the different phases of their lives. And I think that is significant in that, yes, like you said, grieve and allow yourself to feel all those emotions,

but don't get stuck there in them to the place where they then consume you, but still experience the other breath of emotion, such as the joy.

Annie: I like what you just said that your family ended up doing. I think it's God orchestrated, even though it just happened that way.

June 19 was the death anniversary, which can bring sadness,

but now it's a remembrance day of your husband and father,

whose beautiful daughter started a new beginning in her life because of the life that he gave her. Also, June 19th is a joyous celebration of him and her.

Donna: Absolutely.

And I also utilize this also because I'm a school counselor and a high school,

and I hear a lot of stories as well. And I have students that have parents that have passed away, not only from cancer, but other things. And these are the same teenagers that when my kids were younger, my daughter was 15 when she lost her dad.

And so I bring that up in some of my counseling sessions as well. And I share that.

And they say, wow, miss, I'm so happy you told me that. I would have never known that because you always seem to have a smile on your face. And I said, and this is why I want you to continue on, too, because,

yes, we miss them. And I share that because I want them to know that it hurts,

but it's okay, and it's going to be okay. And so they really appreciate that as well.

Davenia: Well, Donna, we've already said we'll have to have you back,

but before we close,

is there a particular song that either got you through that time or that just serves to motivate you now?

Donna: To be honest, I don't have a particular song that got me through it.

Davenia: I just remember how much we loved music. And remember we used to make those art. This was back in the day when we made tapes.

Donna: You remember? Yes. Annie, do you remember tapes?

Annie: I do. When you had to. When you had to have the record and pause button on the radio.

Donna: Yes, yes, those things.

Davenia: And we made that our mixtape that got us all the way to Virginia beach for our.

Donna: Oh, my. For.

Davenia: For high school graduation celebration. And we're listening to Alvy Shore.

Donna: Yes.

Davenia: Whitney Houston. Yeah.

Donna: Yeah.

Annie: It's funny you mentioned Whitney Houston, because that's actually.

Whitney Houston's song is not a wedding song. I Will Always Love youe, which is, of course, a Dolly Parton song.

It's actually a song of your love because it's as though your husband is singing it to you.

I will always love you. I have to go now.

But I Always Love you is a terrible wedding song, by the way.

Donna: Yes.

Annie: Because it's about leaving.

Davenia: That's gonna be your song now, Tyler.

Annie: I will.

Donna: But you know what? I will always love you. Yes. And that we love Whitney Houston, too. And you know what? When I think about it as you say that, Annie and Zena, our wedding song, he picked it.

He was like, you will always be the lady in my life.

Do you remember that song?

Davenia: Yes.

Donna: By Michael Jackson.

Davenia: I can't sing it, but, yes, I know what you're talking about.

Donna: That was it.

And I always say that he holds true to that,

because from the very beginning to the end, that was how he saw it. And that's how he really made sure we. He covered us. Just how I feel like God covered me all the time, but he made sure he covered us.

Even at his deathbed, he had said to me, I want you to be happy, and I want you to go on.

And at the time,

I didn't want to hear it,

but I knew. I guess it was his way of saying he was going, you know. Yeah. Wow.

Wow. Yeah.

Annie: Donna, we want to thank you so much for sharing such a personal and emotional story with us. And I do believe there's a. There is a listener or listeners out there that needed to hear this from you.

And I will tell you, I was letting Divinia ask a lot of questions, and I was trying to hold my emotions back, because as listeners, you know, I lost my sister Liz,

May 9, 2024. And this. I don't know. It's been really rough. I've been thinking about her, and I always think about her. But Donna's coming on here for this conversation.

I was like, okay, it's gonna be. It's gonna be great. And, you know. Cause mine was a sister. I'm gonna be fine.

And then, okay, we record these things on Zoom. And Donna, when she comes on,

I was just like.

I was dumbstruck for a minute because the name on her Zoom is Liz.

Donna: And it says, I see that iPhone.

Annie: And whenever I used to talk with my sister, it always would say, liz's iPhone. So I'm sitting here going through these questions, and I'm Just.

Donna: I know.

Annie: So,

but, you know,

as. As Donna mentioned through some of the words that she said,

give yourselves time to grieve.

Because sometimes,

you know, you. You think, okay, let me just get back to life and let me just not even cry. You know, give yourself time to grieve, whatever that means for you.

Give yourself time, but also understand that you have to keep on living, whether it's for your children or your family or your friends or mainly for yourself. Give yourself time to grieve, but keep on living.

Hold on to your faith and let your faith hold on to you and let others, your family, your friends hold you through it.

And you know,

cancer sucks,

but Jesus does heal. The problem is that we as humans faces the healing may not come today in the way that we want it.

And it could come quick and easy,

or it could not come today or tomorrow or in three months.

But Jesus has promised us that although we may not receive healing,

cancer sucks, but Jesus saves.

Donna: Saves.

Annie: And in Psalm 20, in Psalm 34, 17, 18,

it says the righteous cry out and the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart.

There are many survivors to cancer and there are many people who have lost their loved ones to cancer, my friends.

But one thing is for certain,

that Jesus hears your cry. God is there for you to help you laugh again. Donna, thank you for showing us and letting us hear how there can be a time to rejoice and to smile again as we remember our loved ones.

And my friends from Divinia and my heart to yours this song's for you