Episode 66: Trust and Inspire Leadership in Schools: How to Move Beyond Command and Control

If leadership feels like you’re carrying the whole school alone, the problem might not be your work ethic. It might be the model you’re using. We get real about how easy it is for principals and school leaders to slip into command and control leadership and why that approach often creates compliance, not commitment. 

I’m reflecting on key ideas from Trust and Inspire by Stephen M. R. Covey and what they mean for educational leadership, school culture, and teacher motivation. We talk through the big shift from managing people to leading people, why trust consistently gets better work than control, and how a leader’s habits can either grow staff capacity or quietly shrink it. You’ll hear practical ways to stop micromanaging instruction and start building instructional leaders across the building, plus the mindset reframe that matters most: leadership starts in the mirror. 

We also dig into the real fears that hold leaders back like losing control, getting burned, or watching something fail and the real costs of staying stuck: burnout, disengaged staff, and a school that can’t run without you. If you want delegation that actually works, accountability that feels shared, and a staff that goes above and beyond because they believe in the work, this conversation will help you take the next step. Subscribe, share this with a leader who needs it, and leave a review so more educators can find the show.

Check out the Book Below, Click on Link:

Trust and Inspire by Stephen M.R. Covey

New and Improve 

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Transcript

The Leadership Load Question

Principal JL 1:20

Have you ever felt like no matter how hard you work as a leader, you're still carrying too much? Too many decisions, too many responsibilities, too many problems that feel like they all come back at you? Here's the question. What if the issue isn't your effort, but your leadership approach? Today I want to talk to you about a concept that challenged me as a leader and honestly caused me to reflect deeply on how I show up every day. This concept is trust and aspire leadership. And here's the reality. If we want schools where students thrive, we must first create environments where adults can be trusted and inspired. But here's the catch. It doesn't start with them, it starts with us. Now let's get to the episode. Welcome back, everybody, to another exciting episode of the Educational Leadership Podcast. I am really excited to be back. I kind of took a hiatus a little bit. Man, it's been crazy the last month or so. For me, I've been hiring people, people have been, you know, moving on to other opportunities, and I'm trying to shift people around. So it's been kind of crazy. So my focus has really been on the job, hasn't really been on the podcast. Um, I know I've had a couple of weeks where I haven't had episodes come out, but you know, it's because I have to maintain my building and the things I gotta do. I love doing a podcast, but sometimes I have to set that podcast aside so I can do the job that I that I've been called to do as well. But I'm excited today because I'm gonna talk to you guys about something that I think is really, really important because I just finished a book. It took me a little while called Trust and Aspire by Stephen M. R. Covey. This book was recommended to me by one of my friends and former, not former, but guest of the show, Lindsey Allen. You guys might remember him. He was the Georgia Principal of the Year, and so he said, Hey, here's a book for you to read. And so I read it, and honestly, I really enjoyed the book. It was one of those books that got me to sit back and kind of reflect on my own leadership. And so I wanted to take the time to talk to you guys about what I've learned in that book. And honestly, this isn't a book that you just read it and move on. It's not that kind of a book. It's one of those books that makes you pause, reflect, and really evaluate your leadership. And so that was something I kept thinking about how does this apply to me as a leader, as a principal? How can I get better at building trust and inspiring my staff? Because I think that's really some secret sauce that we gotta have. Because I'm telling you, like it or not, a lot of administrators out there are stuck in what we would call command and control leadership. So as I'm reading this book, I keep asking myself, where am I leading with trust? Where am I still holding on to this control, you know, that I'm having a hard time of giving up, right? Where are those in my leadership or in my day-to-day grind that I'm like trying to hang on to this and that control-wise and not building that trust capacity? Also, how am I truly inspiring myself? Am I really inspiring my staff or am I just managing them? These are thoughts that just come to me, like things that just come to me as I'm reading this, because I don't want to be your average principal. I don't want to be a principal that just gets bought, right? I want to be somebody that trusts their staff, inspire them to do great things. Because I think that's what we're missing in education is leaders that trust and inspire their staff, not just manage them, but help them become the best they can be for themselves, but then they can be the best for our students, and then I will elevate our school overall. So this is something I believe every educational leader needs to hear. In today's episode, it's not just about the book, it's about what I learned from it and how it challenged me and how I believe it could benefit principals, assistant principals, school leaders, superintendents, and doing this work every day. Because at the end of the day, leadership isn't about what we know, it's about how we show up. It's how we lead. How do we trust people, how to inspire. I think that's really important for us to understand. But let's be honest. A lot of school leaders, if you admit it or not, and you might be one that won't admit it, but we are built on what they call a command and control model. It's something that we learn innately. Like it's something that's ingrained in us from the time we were growing up. We're learning command and control model in the school systems that we work in. But we need to make a shift and get out of the command and control model and get into the trust and inspire model. In the command and control model, this is what you do. We set expectations, we monitor closely, we hold people accountable, and we make the most of the decisions. Like, as a principal, I would make most of the decisions, right? That works on the surface. Like, yeah, it can work, but is it the best practice, right? Is it the best thing we can do for our schools? So here's something I want you to know about leadership. Command and control drives compliance. But trust and aspire leadership builds commitment. Now think about that. Command and control drives compliance, or trust and aspire builds commitment. Now, this is a shift you have to make. Because compliance says, do this because I say so. But commitment says, I believe in this and I'm all in. So when you get people to believe in something that's bigger than themselves and they become all in, that's going to be better than compliance. Because now you have committed people to the cause. You're not just telling them they have to do something because they said so, right? How many of you guys have parents out there? I've had parents that told me, my mom and dad, like, well, do that because I say so. And sometimes I catch myself doing that to my own kids. Do this because I say so. I am not leading with trust and inspire leadership in that way. Now, there's times where we have to, like for me, I think about emergencies, right? There's times I have to go into that mode, but for the most part, I want to trust and inspire my staff members. Because if I do that, then they're gonna trust and inspire their students, and you guys see where that's going, right? So this is what I've learned as a principal. Compliance might get short-term results, but commitment builds long-term culture. So if you want to command and control, you're gonna get some results, but they're gonna be short-term. But if you want the long-term stuff and you want committed long-term culture driving leadership, that is trust and inspire. That's the shift we have to make. In this book, he lays out instead of controlling everything, you release it, right? You don't control everything, you let other people take opportunities to lead. You go from motivating people to inspiring people, right? In control environments, you're motivating them, but in trust and aspire, you are inspiring them. You go from managing people and the con the control the control aspect to leading people in the trust and aspire. And so those are things you gotta think about when you're command and control versus trust and aspire. Now, this one hit me hard. Don't just manage people, lead people. And so there's a quote in the book as well that says, manage things but lead people. Where there's things that we manage, there's systems that we manage as principals, but we lead people. Don't manage them. Because that's the the control aspect that's really hard for us to give up sometimes. So as principals, we can fall into some traps. Managing schedules, managing discipline, managing systems. You know, those are things you might have to do, but leadership is not about managing just the task, right? It's about building belief, it's about growing people, that growth mindset, right? Everybody can grow, everybody can get better, and creating purpose. Because when you trust and inspire your people, you're gonna build those things, and then that's really gonna help your school build a culture of the things you want when it comes to growing the trust and inspiration that you have for your people. Now, one of the biggest mindset shifts is you don't get your best from people by controlling them, you get your best by trusting them. Now, let me repeat that. You don't get your best from people by controlling them, you get your best by trusting them. You're gonna get better results because you trust the people that you're leading. You're not trying to control them. When you control them, there's gonna be some resentment coming back at you. So you've got to be really careful. So, what I'm saying is get out of that command and control and start thinking about how I can lead with trust and inspiration. And so, this is a book I would recommend you guys to get because it comes full of examples and things you can really think about and dig into. So, this episode's really gonna hit some of those things as we go through. Now, this is something that hit me the hardest when I was reading this book, because you talk about trust and inspire, I'm gonna do all these things, but the first thing you have to do, and I've seen Principal Cafele, who's actually gonna be coming on the show soon, but he talks about looking in the mirror, right? Get out your mirror, look at yourself. Because guess what? Leadership starts with you. That's what stood out the most with me in this book. Because if you want change to happen in your school, you're gonna have to be the one to help create that change. Because if you start trusting and inspiring people, other people will see that and they'll start leading with trust and inspire leadership. But guess what? It comes down to you as that principal, as that assistant principal. You don't have you could be a teacher. You don't have to be in a leadership position, but you start leading with trust and inspire leadership, it's gonna spread. People are gonna want to be a part of it. It's not you changing your staff or changing systems, it's you starting with yourself. You be the change first. I think that's the thing that hits me the most, and what's something I want to share is you have to be the change. It starts with you, and that's uncomfortable for some people. That's uncomfortable for me too. But guess what? If I'm going to be the best version of myself and I want my staff to be the best version of themselves, I have to be the one to lead that. I have to be the one to lead with trust and aspire leadership so they can lead with trust and aspire leadership. And that is something that we have to do. Like, that's just that's the part of it, right? So because of this, you have to start with yourself. There's things you have to ask yourself. Do I really trust my people? Do you really say you trust them and you're giving them things, or are you like keeping it at arm's length and then yanking it back, right? You know, do you say I trust you, but then nah I'm gonna still control things? Doesn't work that way, can't do it. Do I create space for others to lead, or do I step in too quickly? Do I allow people to take on things and lead and run with it? Or do I have to be in control, I have to step in when it's not going the way I want it? Sometimes you gotta let people fail, guys. That's the only way they're gonna learn. You gotta be able to trust your staff because when you do that, they are going to so surprise you more than you ever think, right? Here's the truth you cannot create trust-inspired culture if you don't model trust-inspire leadership. And so that's kind of what I'm getting at, right? Starts with you, you have to be the one to get that going. So you're gonna have to let go of control. You're gonna have to let check yourself, you're gonna have to check your ego, right? Check the ego out the door because guess what? It's not about you. You may be the building principal, you may be in, you may be in leadership, but guess what? It's not about you. It's about the team. It's about the people you lead is more important than you as that leader. But you're the one that has to, you're the one that gets to lead with trust and inspire leadership. So let go of that ego, guys. Who cares who gets the credit? Because guess what? We're all in it together, right? Letting go of needing to be the smartest person in the room. Some of you guys out there are like that, right? I I'm the smartest one here. That's why I'm the leader. Guys, you don't have to be the smartest one in the room. There's things that I don't, you know, like there's times where I'm like, oh, you know what? Let's put our heads together, let's figure this out together, because guess what? More than one brain together is gonna be better than the one brain. It's just gonna happen. Right? So let go of those things, but then replace it with these things. Listening. Listen to your staff, empower your staff, build that capacity, develop them, help them become better. Because guess what? You do those things? Man, you're gonna you're gonna change your school. You're gonna change your school because you are leading with trust inspired leadership. Now, there's some barriers. You know, there's some real barriers we face. So here's some things you gotta think about. People get really nervous about trust inspired leadership because they think about what if I lose control? Well, guess what? Sometimes you gotta let go of that control and let people show you they can handle it. Because once you do that, you're gonna build confidence that they can, and you're gonna become more trusted and be able to inspire people to do more because you're gonna have to be okay with the fear of losing control. Now, you won't. You won't lose control because when you trust and inspire people, that's where they get empowered, they feel valued and important, and they're not gonna want to let you down. I think that's something you gotta remember about that. What if it doesn't work? Well, guess what? We're humans, we're gonna lead, we're gonna learn by failure, guys. And it's okay. Learn from your failures, move on, get over it, get better. What if I've been burned before? What if I trust this person and they burn me? Well, don't forget about it, but guess what? Doesn't mean you can't trust other people. Just because this person burns you doesn't mean that person's going to. Something you gotta think about, right? That's some that's a real thing, guys. I've seen it. Every principal has felt these things. Because trusting people means you're taking a risk. But here's the flip side not trusting peace people also has a cost. Because that can lead to burnout for you. Like you as a leader, you're gonna burn yourself out because you are not leading by trust and inspired leadership. You're gonna have disengaged staff because they're not gonna feel valued, they're not gonna feel important. And you're gonna build a culture if you can stay in that command and control, you're gonna build a culture where people do the minimum. But in trust and inspire leadership culture, people are gonna want to go above and beyond. That is a real thing. I've seen it with my own eyes in real time. I'm not gonna go into the situation, but I've actually seen that in my leadership because I try my best to trust my staff and to aspire to them the best I can. But I really didn't know what I was doing until I read this book, and now I'm getting a lot more solid information to be able to lead this way even better than I did before. So I think that's really important for us to remember. Here's the reality everything, if everything depends on you. If your school cannot run without you, that is a problem. That is a problem because your school never reaches full potential because you have to be there. You should be able to go to a workshop. You should be able to leave your school because you got systems in place, you have people you can entrust to take care of things while you go out and get yourself better at times, too, right? You deserve to go to some of these regional, state conventions and national conventions out there. You deserve to have professional development and not always stuck in the building all the time, right? You want that for your staff, but guess what? You gotta do those things as a leader too, because that's how you grow, that's how you get better. If you can't leave your school, there's a problem there. Think about that. So that's where the trust and inspired leadership comes in for you. That's how you break that barrier of command and control. We gotta get out of that. Now, one of my favorite concepts in this framework is we don't fix people, we grow people, right? We're not there to fix them. Everybody's gonna come with faults, everybody's gonna come with baggage, right? Everybody's gonna come with things they gotta do to get better, right? How do we grow them? How do we empower? How do we help them become the best version of themselves? That's important as too. This is a shift, right? Trust and inspire is a shift from controlled-based leadership that tells us to identify the problem, track the behavior, monitor it closely. But trust and inspire leadership says we develop capacity, we build confidence, and we create ownership. That's the difference between telling teachers what to do and helping teachers become better at what they do. I think that's really important. It's also the difference between compliance-driven professional development or doing this because I say so, to growth-driven professional development learning. When you have trust and inspire leadership, they're gonna be more growth-driven in their learning than they would if you went command and control. Most importantly, the difference between leading and building and leaders is the trust inspire leadership. I think that's really important for us to remember. Now, what does it look like in practice? As a principal, what trust inspire leadership looks like? Giving teachers a voice and decisions. That's important. Building systems with staff, not for staff. Get that? You're doing it with them, not for them. Because guess what? When they're a part of the process, they're gonna take ownership of it. Trust me, I've seen it, I've worked it, I've lived it. Coaching instead of correcting. I'm gonna coach somebody instead of telling them to stop, do that, and do this instead. I'm gonna coach them up and say, hey, let's think through this. What can what else can we do? How what else can we do to get better? I mean, those are things you've got. It's coaching, right? I mean, I coached 17 years, guys. You're still coaching in this position. You're coaching up adults, you're coaching up staff to get them better. Another thing is you're creating clarity and allowing autonomy. All these things will build their capacity, will build the trust, and you'll inspire your staff, become the best they can be. So this means you don't micromanage manage instruction, you build instructional leaders in your school. You don't own all The answers. You don't own it, you don't have all the answers. You create a team that finds the answers. And one of the most powerful shifts is from I hold you accountable to we build accountability together. Because when we work together, you're going to hold yourself accountable, and I won't have to, right? Because we decided this is how we're going to do it. Because we work together on this. Now that's culture. Now that's something you can hang your hat on in the day. Because at the end of the day, everybody, we're not going to be the principal of our buildings forever. And you want to leave it better than you found it. You want to be able to leave it to where people know how to operate without you. So when you leave and someone comes in, they're just coming in and they already have the system in place, and then they can lead with trust and inspired leadership as well. So here's some things to reflect on as I leave you with a few questions. Where are you holding on to control? So think to yourself, where am I still holding on to control with? Where could I release and trust more? What are some things I can hey have some people do, right? What can I delegate, right? Am I developing people or am I directing people? Am I making people better or am I just telling them what to do? These are things to think about. And most importantly, if I ask my staff, if I ask them, would they feel trusted and inspired by me? If I say, hey, do you feel trusted and inspired by me as a leader? Think about that every day. How can I lead with trust and inspire my staff? Because if I ask them, what would they say? Because to be honest with you, and you may not like hearing this, their perception is their reality. And they're going to be honest with you. And sometimes the honest, the honest truth is hard to hear. But guess what? Sometimes it's needed so we can get better. Now I think I just love this book. I really would encourage you to get it, the Trust Inspire book by Stephen M. R. Covey. I recommend it. But here's some things that this leadership requires, and it's not easy. It requires you to be vulnerable, requires you to be patient, and it requires you to be intentional. Because that's necessary. Because our schools don't need more control. They need more connection, more belief, and more leadership that builds people. Because in the end of the day, it all starts with us as building leaders, as administrators, as assistant principals, as teacher leaders, as any type of leadership role, it starts with us. So get out that mirror, look at it. What can you do to build a trust and inspire school? Alright, well, I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. I really enjoyed sharing what's been on my mind. And I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. If you have, please subscribe to this podcast so you don't miss another episode like this one. And if what I talk to you guys about inspires you, share it with somebody that needs to hear it. Because you may think of somebody, hey, this is a great episode. I want to have my friend hear it that's a leader out there. And before we go, always remember in order for us to be the chained, we have to be curious and one percent better. Thank you guys and God bless.