Delayed Gratification: Transform Your Finances

What if the key to financial freedom lies in the ancient wisdom of patience and self-control? Join Vanessa McNelley and Shay Cook, as we unveil the profound connection between faith, discipline, and financial success on Yahweh's Money. Through the lens of Hebrews 6:12, we explore how the principle of delayed gratification can transform your financial journey and spiritual growth. Sharing relatable examples and personal stories, we highlight how simple choices, like waiting for greater rewards, have led to significant long-term benefits in our lives—from shedding pounds to reprioritizing what truly matters.

In this enlightening episode, we delve into the power of sacrifice and self-discipline, drawing wisdom from the struggles and triumphs of past generations. Reflect on our anecdotes about paying off student loans, steering clear of credit card debt, and the crucial mindset shift required to shatter financial shackles. Learn how surrounding yourself with a supportive community can fortify your resolve and why small, intentional decisions can pave the way to financial freedom. Discover creative ways to save money, resist peer pressure, and set a positive example for future generations through wise decision-making. Don't miss this inspiring conversation that promises to leave you equipped and motivated to achieve your financial goals with purpose and patience.

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Our podcast is proudly sponsored by Crusaders for Change, LLC (C4C) and hosted by our CEO and Founder, Mrs. Shay Cook. At C4C, we provide customized corporate financial wellness programs for businesses, government agencies, and nonprofit organizations. Our services are tailored to create happier, healthier, and more productive work environments. We also empower individuals and couples to overcome debt, improve their credit, boost savings, and more. Ready to learn more about how C4C can impact your life? Contact us today at https://www.crusaders4change.org/!

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Chapters

• 0:03 Faith and Finance
• 12:13 The Power of Sacrifice and Discipline
• 22:06 The Power of Self-Control

Transcript

Shay: 0:03

Ever felt those awkward vibes when religion and money come up? You're not alone. Welcome to Yahweh's Money, the podcast where we tackle the crossroads of faith and finance. I'm Shay Cook, an Accredited Financial Counselor, and the CEO and founder of Crusaders for Change LLC.

Vanessa: 0:19

And I'm Vanessa McNelley, Accredited Financial Counselor and COO of Crusaders for Change. Join us on our journey as we discuss topics like tithing saving and conquering debt through religious perspectives. Let's get started.

Shay: 0:35

Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Yahweh's Money. Hey, my co-host, Vanessa, how are you?

Vanessa: 0:42

I am good, Shay. I'm excited about today's topic because you know it's one of my favorites.

Shay: 0:48

Yeah, but it's not a lot of people's favorites. Nope, that's okay, because we like talking about this stuff. So today we're going to have a lot of fun, vanessa and me, because we're chatting about something very important that we love sharing with our clients, but they don't like us when we tell them. But they need to hear it the crucial link between discipline and financial success. So we'll be exploring one particular fundamental principle delayed gratification, right Delayed gratification. In a world of instant rewards, mastering the art of waiting for greater long-term benefits can be challenging, yet immensely rewarding. So today we're going to uncover strategies to cultivate patience, build resilience and achieve your financial goals with discipline and purpose. 612 NIV says we do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who, through faith and patience, inherit what has been promised. So this verse teaches the value of persistence, diligence and the long-term rewards that come from exercising patience and self-control in various aspects of life, including financial stewardship and spiritual growth. Well, that's a lot People are like what it is?

Vanessa: 2:12

It is, it is and please don't hate us for talking about this everyone it's one of those things that we have to talk about and it's so important in all aspects of our lives.

Shay: 2:22

I know, and you know I pulled out the scripture today, as I do, hopefully, mostly day. Most days I try to look at the word. But the scripture notes for this particular verse Hebrews 6, 12 said hope keeps the Christian or you can just say person, if you're not a Christian from becoming lazy or feeling bored. Like an athlete, you train hard and run well, remembering the reward that lies ahead. So you know, having this delayed gratification, which we're going to get deep into today, it's actually a good thing, because there's usually an amazing reward on the other side.

Vanessa: 2:55

Exactly, and it's you know. It's so hard to see right now and that's the whole point of this is you can't see what's going to happen later on.

Shay: 3:03

Hello, is that not fair Right?

Vanessa: 3:05

exactly, exactly right. So it's so hard for most of us to say, okay, I'm going to give up this good thing today for something amazing later, because we have no idea when or what that amazing thing is going to be. And it's so, so hard. This is something when I used to teach classes and I would give out prizes for, you know, playing little games, I would always ask whoever won if they wanted instant gratification or delayed gratification. And if they wanted instant, I would give them, like like a fun size candy bar. But a lot of people would actually say, hmm, let's do delayed. And I was really shocked.

Vanessa: 3:42

And I think it's because you know it was just a, you know, a quick little game, but at the end of the class, if they chose that, they got a full size candy bar. So you know, delaying that gratification got them. You know, even though it was just a candy, it was something way better than what they would have gotten 45 minutes earlier. So, choosing to delay it, you know you're going to get something that's not only going to help you, probably, but other people too, because you're going to have more to do with whatever you decide to do with that than you would in the beginning and it's it's so hard to follow and get in this practice, but it's so worth it.

Shay: 4:17

It's so worth it. I love that exercise, though I'm going. Either you get a fun size or you get a full size right and a lot of people would do that in Halloween, right, they'll wait to get to the house at the corner. They're going to wait to get that full size piece of candy. So you know, they get that extra walk in, but then get the greater reward at the end.

Vanessa: 4:35

So I always think about food.

Shay: 4:37

I always think so. You mentioned in candy, and I'm sure we're going to talk about it in this episode, but to me it's like I haven't had pasta until recently and cakes and ice. Like I've been delaying my gratification to lose weight and I'm down a lot and I know you are too but it's just like it's great knowing that I've eaten enough candy and ice cream and cake and pasta for a lifetime. So me delaying that gratification or waiting six months later to have that so I can lose some weight, that gratification or waiting six months later to have that so I can lose some weight, that was the. That's the goal, right, and so I met that goal and now I enjoy it even more. And a lot of stuff is just too sweet now, but now I enjoy it even more.

Vanessa: 5:14

Yeah yeah, your tastes change and things do change with the. You know, delayed gratification too. Things that were important to you before are now like why did I even care about that? Because I have bigger things in, you know, in store later on. So you learn and you grow from these things, just like what you're saying. You know that's, that's something you learn as you go through the processes and and you grow and you become a better person, you know so delayed gratification can help with so many things and it also really helps with achieving your long-term goals. You know, because it involves sacrificing some of these short-term pleasures, like eating a piece of cake today, and you do that because you know you get that instant reward and you feel good right then and there. But you do that to give up or to achieve more significant long-term goals. Just like you and the weight loss and me and the weight loss too, we give up those tiny moments of pleasure right now to gain something better in the long run.

Shay: 6:16

Yeah, that's so good. So we go from food to finances. So what have you? Haven't the biggest thing you ever had to give up to achieve a financial goal?

Vanessa: 6:25

Yeah, I would say my biggest thing is buying a vehicle. I always wait until I have saved enough to buy a vehicle. I was taught really early on that you know that type of debt can be avoided if we plan ahead. So if you save up enough to buy a car outright. And then what I would always do is I would put enough away in a savings account for a new car every month after I bought that car. So it was like I was making a payment to myself, so that next time I wanted a car I had the money. But if I didn't have the money for it, you don't buy it because I couldn't afford it. So I would say that's the biggest thing I've had to do is just really wait and save to be ready to have what I wanted.

Shay: 7:12

Yeah, and for me that's great and amazing. I've never bought a car outright before. I do save for it and I do run my car down to what I don't say, down to the ground, but I make sure that thing is gives me no more life. I'm not. I'm not wanting to buy it.

Vanessa: 7:27

You need it. It is a need, I know it's actually it's a need, it's actually.

Shay: 7:30

And to my husband say no-transcript, every tax return, no clothes, no, getting here, I mean I was like sacrificing, because I was like I don't want these things, no more.

Shay: 8:03

Every extra, extra money, everything I could save, every sacrifice I could make, I mean it was full on. Like when I made that decision to pay those off, I was like I ain't buying no clothes, I ain't buying no shoes, I don't need anything. And the funny thing that happened is is that my car was on its last leg, my Volkswagen and I was like you gotta buy another car. And I put onto the student loans and then I still had a little bit of savings for a down payment, but it was just good and I think that was 2016. Yep, I paid off my student loans and then I bought my new car because I had to. I wasn't planning on it, yeah. So that was really a cool moment to be able to say I paid off my student loans and then I was able to buy a car and my payment was way less than what I was paying for my student loans.

Vanessa: 8:59

But guess, what I did, vanessa. I used that student loan payment and put it all into my car and then I was able to pay my car off sooner. So it all worked out Perfect. Yeah, exactly. So because you were making that sacrifice every month already to pay that down and to pay it off, you were already in this place where you were used to paying that. So just moving it over to a vehicle got you a new car number one and got you the car quicker. So you were already used to it and the car that I wanted.

Shay: 9:20

and I want to add to the story because I haven't really said this out loud, but then my daughter went to college and I was able to pay off my car and put that money into her monthly payment and she got a school with only $5,000 worth of student loan. Of course her daddy helped too, but able to move that payment. And so then we moved into the new house and guess what I did with that payment? I put the payment into our new bathroom. So that payment a big chunk of money like $1,200 plus a month I've been able to put into other joys. So yeah, I'm really glad about it.

Vanessa: 9:50

And it sounds like because of that one change, you know you have won over and over again, because of it.

Shay: 9:56

So that's what people need to see, is it? You know it?

Vanessa: 9:59

spills over into all these other aspects of our lives. It's not just one thing and it's pain and suffering until it's finally over it's. It really helps us to see what's important and I think it's a way to celebrate these victories, too, at the end, you know it's. It's a way to celebrate these victories, too, at the end, you know it's. It's exciting, and we should be celebrating these victories of paying off our student loans or, you know, paying off a vehicle or paying for our kids school.

Vanessa: 10:22

I mean, those are amazing achievements that if you would have just wasted that money every month, like most people do, where would it be? I know you know so, yeah, but you know being able to to learn and delay, I know you know so, yeah, but you know being able to to learn and delay that gratification, you know it can lead to greater success and fulfillment over time. And you know, just hearing you talk about that, I I feel that from you that you have this. You know that you feel this pride and you feel like you've achieved these goals, which are wonderful things. So you know, if you can save for retirement instead of buying luxuries every month, you know you really get to enjoy that later and really sit in that moment and say look what I've done. I've really achieved something amazing, with God's help, of course.

Shay: 11:08

Amen. And you know, I would add that because I hear people saying, oh well, I bought people telling me about other people and it's probably them projecting over themselves or friends or family, whatever the situation may be like, yeah, so-and-so is buying all these shoes or so-and-so is buying all this and they can't afford to do this and they can't afford that.

Shay: 11:25

The thing is, if you on the beginning, if you're saving and being responsible and delaying gratification, eventually you can go buy all the shoes and I'm going to put a little shade for my husband all the bourbon, all the whatever, all the watches, all the cars but you got to get your financial foundation in order.

Vanessa: 11:47

So you do, and I think that's so hard for young people to see right now. Uh, you know, I know 21, 22 year olds. They're buying houses and they want their, their forever house. And it's like whoa, wait a minute. Like you just graduated college or you have your first job, you can't afford a payment for your forever dream home. Like there's a starter house and it's okay to have a starter house but, I, think they're so used to seeing what their parents have, or their grandparents have.

Vanessa: 12:11

And they think that they have to start with that. But if you would look back 20 years, where mom and dad was or your grandparents were 50 years ago, you would see the sacrifice, you would see the struggle and you would see what they've given up to get where they are right now.

Vanessa: 12:26

And everybody has to go through that. Everybody has to feel those growing pains and put things aside if they want to get to that place in life. It's all about the sacrifice, and you know the sacrifice doesn't have to be, you know, a time where you just sit at home and you do nothing. There are ways to, you know, to save and to delay that gratification, but still have fun in the moment too.

Shay: 12:52

Enjoy the journey. That's why I was telling my daughter and she was saying that she's feeling stuck right now, being out of college and looking for a job. And you know, and I was like enjoy the moment, because when you do finally get that job, you're going to be working your butt off and you're going to be like dang. I wish I had enjoyed that time when I wasn't working on a fast you know, so it's just enjoy.

Shay: 13:11

And that's how I was like man being able to pay off the student loans and not be like the average person still 67 years old with student loans and worrying about that, you know all that crap. That's how I was thinking. I was like I don't want to be that person and no shame, and no, I'm not trying to make nobody feel bad by that but that for me, I just didn't want to be that. I met so many people that have 200 plus thousands of loans and I was just like I don't want to be there. So but I enjoyed that and, like you said, being able to see that money now move over to so many goals from just one big planting that one seed and seeing how it's grown oh my God, it's been amazing.

Vanessa: 13:50

It's amazing, yeah, and these are. You know, these are great things and, like you said, we all have those things in our lives that are stressors. And if we're able to get rid of that stress and delay other gratifications, why not? Why not do that? Why not get rid of that stress as soon as we can by, you know, giving up some other wants that we have in the moment to get rid of that stress? That's just going to weigh us down and bog us down for years if we don't handle it.

Shay: 14:17

Exactly, exactly. And all of this develops self-discipline. Right, self-control, discipline and sacrifice. I always say those three things because that delayed gratification strengthens our self-discipline and our willpower, and I know it has for me. Like just starting with before the student loans, you know, working in Germany at the credit union, it was just I don't know what happened. There was a mind shift, a mindset that happened. It was like I don't want any more debt, any credit card debt. Like I don't know what happened and I'm maybe working at the credit union. I was just like I'm paying all my credit card off and I'll never forget my husband and mom talking bad about me and I'm going to call them out like why?

Vanessa: 14:55

is she doing it? Why are?

Shay: 14:56

you putting all your money on your credit cards. I'm like, because I don't want this anymore, I don't want that anymore, I don't again. I don't know what happened that I changed. One day.

Vanessa: 15:03

I was like I don't want it anymore.

Shay: 15:04

So all my extra money went and so that's probably where it on. And spouses was like why you don't want to hang out with us. I'm like because I, I have, I'm going to put my money towards something else. And they used to shame me for not wanting to go shopping at the mall. Or when I went with them the mall, I didn't buy anything. And I'm like you know, and I look back and it was hard in the moment it was, I would come home and feel a certain way like these women had all these great furniture in their house and they all these great clothes, their hair and nails and everything was dead. And I'm looking, I'm feeling like a bum, but then I'm like, look at me now because you know, I I didn't do all that right, so I didn't create all that debt earlier on. Uh, but don't go through it, man. It's the discipline, the willpower you have to, the mindset you have to build up, some of the sh, you know what that you got to do it.

Vanessa: 15:59

Uh, it can be hard.

Vanessa: 16:00

It can be hard yeah, it can be really hard, but I think a lot of that kind of determines who you should be spending your time with too, you know, and we surround ourselves with people that support us, or we should be surrounding our people or ourselves with people who support us, because if we do that, it makes all these challenges and this delayed gratification a whole lot easier. Did some of the like weirdest things to entertain ourselves, so we didn't have student loans or debt during college. So we we shared a Blockbuster account because that's all we could afford, cause you got two videos that you could take out at a time I remember.

Shay: 16:43

Blockbuster day, right yeah.

Vanessa: 16:45

You know, and then we would go out like once a week to uh, to Wendy's and get a nine, nine cent chili and that was our, you know, eating out for the week and it was like, literally, we're looking for change, like in our couch cushions, to do this I remember those days too, yeah, yeah.

Vanessa: 17:00

And you know she worked so hard. She worked at a factory in the summer so she could come to school in the fall and she wouldn't have to worry about her money and she budgeted every month and she could only go home once a year, you know. So she would come home with me because I live like an hour from the school. You know, for every holiday, every weekend, you know get together kind of thing. So she just became part of my family. But having her in my life and us both being on the same journey of we're going to sacrifice some things now so we don't have to worry about it later really helped me to see that I can still have a good time and fun and have fun without spending so much or worrying or trying to keep up with anybody else. Yeah, so it was really great to have a person that I could really count on and we could kind of bounce things off of each other constantly.

Shay: 17:51

I love that you had a partner through that journey. Yeah, I really did.

Vanessa: 17:55

And that's so helpful to have. And I think that's what people don't understand is, if you have these conversations with people, there's always somebody who wants to do this but needs motivation, and you can be that person for each other. You know, you can always have a conversation with us. You can find somebody from church, find a family member, but there's always somebody who wants to do better and save and get out of debt. Or you know, save for that big item they want, but they don't know how to do it or they don't have the discipline to do it alone. There's always somebody out there who will have your back.

Shay: 18:31

Amen. And you know all of this leads to better decision-making. Like I said, I had that mind shift in Germany and it carried on to other bases that we were stationed at and it was just like growing, like learning better habits and learning like it's okay to feel whatever you're feeling, because it's temporary, as Vanessa has mentioned before. So being able to do that really does lead to a better decision making, having that self-discipline, that self-control Right.

Vanessa: 18:59

And after a while it becomes second nature and you don't even miss those things. It's ingrained now. Yeah, exactly Exactly. And it's funny how you see that in some older people too. I don't know about you, but like I have an aunt who is really adverse to spending. And it's funny because this is kind of her golden year time and she's supposed to be enjoying this. But you know, she only goes to Arby's when she has coupons and she still only gets the you know, the Burger King free entree when you fill out the survey and she'll buy a small drink to go with it. But at the same time, doing these things all these years has allowed her to be retired since she was 55, to travel when she wants to have a paid for home and a paid for car, and do this as a single mom. So that's something really hard for a lot of people to do when you're doing this alone.

Shay: 19:55

Yeah, why we didn't have her on the podcast back in the day? She seemed like she was amazing. But I mean, with all of that, you become resilient, right? Because? Of the setbacks or just learning, like we're talking about, you're better equipped to persevere through the difficult times.

Shay: 20:12

So having those habits, uh, uh, habits like Joan and you know, and I remember talking to Monica about that your aunties are, who are amazing and having those, uh, those uh habits and uh, I guess, like it goes back to the mindset you're able to get through the difficult times Cause he's like you know what I've already been frugal or very disciplined or whatever, so I know how to get through this. This is just a bump in the road.

Vanessa: 20:36

It really is and it's so helpful. And you know, as I've said before, you know I've had times in my life where I've had more and I've had times in my life where I've had less and I have really been just as happy, maybe even more sometimes, when I had less, because I knew how to really take that and just, you know, be okay and be happy and find ways to be fulfilled without spending money. There's lots of things we can do, I think, to be prepared. I think the first thing is is, if there's something that you really want, hold off on it. That's step number one. Wait a little bit of time, just take a second and say do I really need this today? I know one thing that a lot of people do is in their Amazon carts. They'll put everything in their cart and we're so quick to just buy, buy, buy.

Shay: 21:32

Let it sit for 24 hours Exactly.

Vanessa: 21:33

Delay that gratification for 24 hours. I let it sit for a whole week.

Shay: 21:35

I'm like I ain't buying nothing until Friday, cause I just because, first of all, I'm always going to want more stuff or not, and then after I looked through the cart, I'm like I don't need that, I don't need that. And then I also need to check what's in my house, because just the other day just make everybody laugh yeah, I've been ordering a lot of Lysol Clorox wipes and the other day I ordered more and I was like, oh my god, I have.

Vanessa: 21:57

So I think I have an obsession with disinfectant, you and me both. I mean I need to stop ordering these things, because now I don't even have anywhere to put them in my pantry. So I'm taking them downstairs taking them upstairs so funny.

Vanessa: 22:06

But but yeah, just you know, delay that one little thing and you're going to see that. You know you either don't want it in 24 hours or a week, or whatever it is. But you know, patience is a virtue. We have been taught that over and over again. But there's so many little things we can do and it doesn't have to be okay. Well, I am going to give up, I don't know, whatever something you really really love every month for the next 20 years, just so I can, you know, put some money in the bank, or just so I can buy a I don't know a car one day, or whatever that is. It doesn't have to be a big, big change.

Vanessa: 22:42

at first, Do those little things and it's going to be so much easier, you know and just resist those immediate impulses. And I think this kind of comes a lot with peer pressure and who we hang out with and who we spend our time with. Because if we have somebody who you know goes to Starbucks every day and I do love my Starbucks we're going to do that too. We're going to give in when we're there. We're not going to say, okay, I'm not going to get something, because I'm literally standing here with somebody who's getting something, you know. So hang out with people who are not going or say, I'll pass today, let's do it once a week as a treat or whatever that is. But we really need to practice and develop our self-control.

Vanessa: 23:28

And that is not fun, it is hard, but it is so worth it in the end.

Vanessa: 23:34

Like it is so so worth it when we can sit back and look later, you know, years down the road and say because I was able to not get a coffee every day, you know, for 20 years, or I was able to drive my car an extra year and a half, or I was able to go to that state school, versus spending all this money on this Ivy league institution that really didn't matter for what I was going to school for, whatever it might be, and see how far you are ahead versus your peers who made different choices. That is such a blessing in itself to sit there and think I made some sacrifices, I've taken a few steps and because of that, look at how blessed my life has been and I've been able to bless others because of that. Because in a lot of ways, we're able to do that because we don't have the, you know, the wants that are controlling us and we feel like we're able to give more because of that. So it really impacts a lot of areas of our life.

Shay: 24:37

It really does. I mean that self-control is important and I would say, even going back to you saying Starbucks, I mean you can go to your Starbucks with your friends, Just don't order anything. I do Now. It's like I know I'll bring my water bottle and say, yeah, let's meet there, and it doesn't necessarily need to drink anything, or just you know somebody needs to buy something out of respect to Starbucks, but it doesn't have to be me.

Vanessa: 24:58

Or get a plain coffee, Like yeah, there's ways to do a coffee shop.

Shay: 25:01

The other day and somebody ordered a bunch of stuff, I went to a coffee shop the other day and somebody ordered a bunch of stuff and I just had one little item and I was good and they're like you're good. You know, I made sure I ate before so I wouldn't be hungry, and then I have my own coffee at home so I can get the Starbucks curic pods, so that's a lot cheaper.

Vanessa: 25:22

It is so much cheaper, you know, and that was something I used to. I used to go to Starbucks every day and when I realized I was spending 35 to $40 a week on coffee uh, you know, this was 10, 15 years ago I was like man, I could be doing something else, amazing with that money.

Vanessa: 25:33

Uh. So you know you have to pick your wants and your needs, and I think the the biggest part of that is like we can have anything we want. We just can't have everything. So picking and choosing those things that we have that instant gratification with and then choosing what we're going to wait for, that's a huge, huge difference with this too. And in Galatians 6, 9, the Bible says let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. And that is amazing to think about.

Vanessa: 26:08

Just look at the people who have gone before us and who have sacrificed certain things and how they're able to just sit back in their golden years and reap that harvest and that reward, plant those seeds and reap what you sow, exactly, exactly, and the examples that they have set for us, yeah. So that's what I want to be. I want to be an example for somebody.

Shay: 26:31

Exactly, and I want to honor our you know ancestors, our people that came before us, and even if they didn't make the right decisions, then I'm going to make the right decisions because I learned from their mistakes, or I take their great lessons and I expound upon that. So their mistakes, or I take their great lessons and I expound upon that, so there's nothing wrong with that and I love that. So any final thoughts?

Vanessa: 26:50

You know, start with something small. You don't have to do everything at once, but it's going to become a habit. And once it becomes a habit it gets so much easier. And then just keep it up.

Shay: 27:04

I agree and I love that. And another great episode. So thank you for joining us. Have a great day. A big thank you for listening to this episode. We hope you found today's chat about the intersection of religion and money insightful. We would love to hear your feedback. Hit that subscribe button or follow the podcast and please feel free to leave us a review.

Vanessa: 27:23

Yes, and for the latest Yahweh's Money content, visit us at www. crusaders4changeorg or find us anywhere you listen to podcasts. Until next time, stay financially fit and spiritually inspired.

Shay: 27:37

And remember it's always better Yahweh's way.