Yahweh’s Money®️: The Crossroads of Religion & Money

The Caregiver Chronicles

• Shay Cook & Vanessa McNelley • Season 3 • Episode 63

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Do you struggle with the emotional and practical challenges of caring for aging parents? Join us on Yahweh's Money as Shay and Vanessa share heartfelt personal experiences and explore the profound intersection of faith and family. Reflecting on the teachings of 1 Timothy 5:4, they discuss the balance of love, duty, and obligation that accompanies caregiving. They'll also navigate the tricky waters of manipulation and boundary-setting, recognizing that not all parent-child relationships are built on unconditional love. 

Planning for aging is more critical than ever, yet often overlooked. In this episode, they emphasize the necessity of having open, honest conversations about future needs and end-of-life arrangements. Their personal stories highlight the stress and limited options that arise when these discussions are skipped. Learn about the importance of estate planning, caregiving preferences, and financial preparations while your parents are still in good health, and discover how early planning can lead to more meaningful quality time together without the weight of unforeseen responsibilities or legal uncertainties.

Caregiving comes with its own set of complex dynamics and challenges, from financial burdens and work demands to the emotional toll of looking after a loved one from a distance. They'll uncover the importance of trust, respect for elders, and the value of professional caregivers to prevent burnout. By involving parents in the decision-making processes and creating comprehensive care plans, families can navigate these difficult conversations more effectively. Tune in for a thorough, heartfelt discussion that offers practical advice and valuable insights into the journey of caregiving for aging loved ones.

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Our podcast is proudly sponsored by Crusaders for Change, LLC (C4C) and hosted by our CEO and Founder, Mrs. Shay Cook. At C4C, we provide customized corporate financial wellness programs for businesses, government agencies, and nonprofit organizations. Our services are tailored to create happier, healthier, and more productive work environments. We also empower individuals and couples to overcome debt, improve their credit, boost savings, and more. Ready to learn more about how C4C can impact your life? Contact us today at https://www.crusaders4change.org/!

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Shay:

Ever felt those awkward vibes when religion and money come up? You're not alone. Welcome to Yahweh's Money, the podcast where we tackle the crossroads of faith and finance. I'm Shay Cook, an Accredited Financial Counselor, and the CEO and founder of Crusaders for Change LLC.

Vanessa:

And I'm Vanessa McNelley, Accredited Financial Counselor and COO of Crusaders for Change. Join us on our journey as we discuss topics like tithing saving and conquering debt through religious perspectives. Let's get started!

Shay:

Welcome back to another episode of Yahweh's Money. What's up, Vanessa?

Vanessa:

Nothing much. I'm ready for the serious conversation.

Shay:

Oh my God, we're always talking about serious stuff. I mean, that's what happens when you talk about religion and money, right? So today, Vanessa and I will be taking on a subject that most of us tiptoe around because of the stigma related to it. Those of us who are still fortunate enough to have our parents around want the very best for them. That goes without saying. Right, but is it fair for our senior parents to count on us for care as they age? Nearly 70% of caregivers in the US are family members, and not all of them choose to be. We'll explore the blend of love, duty and, oftentimes, obligations, seen by both parents and their children when it comes to caregiving. I'm going to stop there, Vanessa. Wow, like 70%. Yeah, I mean, that's a lot, wow. I mean, I'm happy to hear that people are taking care of their family members, though I agree. So you know.

Shay:

But when you see all of these, you know the long-term care, all these things coming up or, I guess, senior centers and all that. I thought there was more people in there, but it sounds like family members are taking care of themselves of their families. Yeah, or their older parents.

Vanessa:

Yeah, it's a lot, but I guess we have to see at what cost too. That's true.

Shay:

That's true, well well, in 1 Timothy 5, 4 states. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, they should learn first of all to put the religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. This passage specifically mentions the responsibility of children and grandchildren to care for their elderly relatives, reflecting both familial duty and religious values. Yeah, I mean, that's our responsibility, huge though it's big, it's a big responsibility.

Vanessa:

I guess we have to think too, like how much of that responsibility is ours too.

Vanessa:

Is it?

Vanessa:

Everything, is it small parts of it? And there's different ways to look at this too, and then we can look at it from, you know, the child's point or the parent's point. So if we look at things first from the parent's point of view, you know the parent has always given their child unconditional love. There's been that bond there, and they know how to manipulate situations too in some ways so that they can make a child feel like I've always been there for you. I've always done things for you. You owe this to me.

Shay:

Yeah.

Vanessa:

I don't know how you feel about that.

Vanessa:

I had two parents that passed in the last few years. As you know, my mother was very good about saying live your life, do you? You can't sit around and you can't wait for me to die or something to happen to me. And then I had a dad who was like you need to move home, you need to come take care of me, you need to to sell everything and live in my house and you know, basically, be my keeper is what he wanted, and he really knew how to push buttons and make me feel so bad about not being there for him and you think about, okay, well, these are the people who put a roof over your head and they, you know, taught you how to ride a bike and they made sure that you know you were loved and cared for your entire life and, you know, talked you through a lot of situations. So you know, they do have that, that thought, and I think they they have a point with that too.

Shay:

They do. I mean, we both have parents that cared and loved for, loved us and stuff. But then on the flip side there are some people that have parents that don't do all of that. They don't love them unconditionally and they still expect their kids to take care of them.

Shay:

So, I want to honor that too. It's not not everybody listening and not everyone in the world has that unconditional love and I also think, even though I have that, I've seen, like you said, that manipulation, that boundaries being crossed or disrespected or not honored, aggressively manipulating, you know just different things. They're using that unconditional love, abusing it.

Shay:

I guess I should say so yeah and that's probably more on the children's argument or point of view side. But when it comes to the parents, I mean I guess I would feel that way, coming me thinking about my daughter. Honestly I don't want to burden her, but you know, I know some people that do feel that way.

Vanessa:

Yeah, yeah, I had my grandmother. She talked to all of her children and all of her grandchildren and she made each one of us promise that we would never put her in a nursing home and we would take care of her in her own home. Wow, and that was a big promise to ask from a teenage girl. Yes, and sometimes that's an unfair thing to ask, but I understood her reasoning for that, because she'd had sisters that had gone to nursing homes and were not cared for properly. So she just wanted to make sure that never happened to her because she had Alzheimer's. So, you know, she wouldn't be in a situation where she could let someone know either if that happened. So I mean, that's a true point of that too. You know, and then we can look at. You know, family or cultural, like cultural traditions. I know in Indonesia the youngest child is expected to take care of the parents when they're older, and that is a huge burden or blessing. However you look, at that.

Vanessa:

On a child that, especially, is younger and hasn't had time to start a career or a family or kind of keep things going. But there's that expectation that this is what we do. We take care of our own, we took care of you, we took care of our parents, so it's your turn to take care of us, and different cultures have different ways of doing that. But it is a beautiful thing when you look at this community that can be built to take care of our elderly, and it's a community that we know will love, support, come together, work together as a team to take care of somebody as they're aging.

Shay:

I love the village concept. I don't like when it's just the one person the old, younger kid, the oldest kid, especially. You got multiple siblings or other family members aunts, uncles it usually ends up being on the most responsible one, who is the person that's taking care of their family. They're the most responsible at work we kind of talked about it in the last episode. This person is doing all the most and then they end up having that responsibility of the elderly and it's not fair. It's just like what about you sibling ABCD?

Vanessa:

and aunt uncle and you know just that's not fair.

Shay:

It's not fair.

Vanessa:

But when it works and you have a village, it's a beautiful thing I have some.

Vanessa:

Puerto Rican friends and they have a mom and a dad that are older and mom and dad are still married but don't get along. But what they do is they rotate and the parents stay with, you know, child A a month, then they go spend a month with child B, then they go to child C and then child D, so they get three months with each of their children a year. They get time with their grandchildren and their great grandchildren and they rotate and then the children know I will have mom or dad this month and they they stay separately too. So you only have one parent to take care of at a time.

Shay:

Yeah, that works out for the marriage too, right, love it. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yeah, and it's like they only have one parent At a time.

Vanessa:

Yeah, that works out for the mayors too. Right, they love it. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yeah, and it's like they only have one parent at a time. The grandchildren help as well, and it's just this beautiful community that's been built and you know when you're going to be busier because you'll have your parent there. You know when you'll have more time for vacations or whatever. But it's so nice to see when a family can come together like that and really build this bond, and it's a beautiful, beautiful thing.

Shay:

I love that. That is beautiful yeah.

Vanessa:

You know, and sometimes it's all because there's a lack of options. That's another big thing. Parents don't save, there's no retirement, there's no plan. Big thing Parents don't save, there's no retirement, there's no plan. I know, I've experienced this a lot. My dad was kind of that way. He had savings and he had a way to pay for it, but he refused to create a plan. And that was something I'm very, very big on is let's have this conversation, let's decide what's important, what's not important, what will work for you, what'll work for us, that kind of thing. But he didn't want to have that talk and it was always like, well, I'll just have somebody come live in my house and they'll live for free and they'll be happy. And it's like well, dude, nobody's going to want to live in your house for free and be stuck I'm going to use that word, stuck with you 24 seven.

Vanessa:

They have their own lives. They may have jobs, they may want to go on vacation, they might want to go visit their grandkids. So the lack of a game plan sometimes put to you in a situation where you have to. There's no other choice because there are wait lists for a lot of places to put parents and grandparents when you need that and if you wait too long, you're in this place where I don't have any choices, I don't have options, I don't know what to do.

Shay:

I know and that's so sad because yeah, and it's so expensive, right, getting in those kind of facilities and stuff. So yeah, I know it's hard and people don't want to talk about. You know getting old and death and you know like which comes around with insurance, estate planning, we got into that kind of thing. But especially when you're let's talk about why you're in good health I think who was it? One of my friends or mentors said to me the biggest advice I got about aging parents is have those conversations with your parents.

Shay:

And it might have been you, vanessa. Have those conversations with your parents while they're still in their right mind, while on the younger side, you know so, maybe even still working, so they can still plan and get that in order and say I know you don't want to and I actually, about 10, 15 years ago, I sat down I'll never forget sitting down at my parents' house and their dining table, dining room table, and saying we need to talk about what it looks like when you get older, what it looks like when you pass. We need to have the conversation, because my mom always was like I'm going to give you this lodge roll, these things, these statues she got in Germany. I was like this is bigger than a lodge roll. We need to have a conversation about this house. Where do you want to be buried? But before you die, let's have a conversation about what do you want to do if you get sick, what happens if my dad passes? He takes care of my mother.

Shay:

That is huge, like my family, that is a huge conversation that we're still not settled on. She's like oh well, we've had a conversation with your uncle, who's a retired judge. I'm like okay, but where's the paperwork? What does that look like what if my dad passes before you? Who's going to take care of you? And my family always wants to joke and say, oh, it's going to be you, shay. No, we need to have a conversation because I'm still living my life, I'm still doing it and of course I'm going to take care of my mother or my father if they need to. But it needs to be a conversation early on and I think a lot of people don't have that conversation. They're so scared of the inevitable.

Vanessa:

I know, and it's so important, it's so so important to be open and honest and talk about those things.

Vanessa:

And you know it's hard, like you said, but it gets easier. And the reality of it is is what happens during that time. I mean, it's huge. It's like do you want to have time with your children, where it's them taking care of you and giving you showers and changing your sheets, or do you want quality time with your children when they're visiting, so you get to spend time with them and reminisce and talk and do all these things?

Vanessa:

But sometimes, because there is no planning, you're put in this position like, okay, I thought mom and dad had a plan, I thought everything was good to go, but reality is there's nothing put in place.

Vanessa:

And you know, I just went through this with my dad who had, you know, promised there was a will, because I'm very big on having your estate in order as well and then he passed and there was nothing. So do this, have these conversations, talk to your kids, tell them why you're doing what you're doing and get that final say with what you want to, but do it in a way that makes sense for everybody. So you know, and then you have this thing where parents are like, well, I want this because I trust you and I you know, I'm familiar with you and we know each other and I know that you will have my best interest at heart. And that makes a lot of sense because somebody that's there for a job or just to do something part-time, they're not going to have that bond and that trust and that desire to do the best for someone that you love and care about.

Shay:

That's true. I don't know why my mind keeps going to the negative today in this conversation. But then there's also those family members that we can't trust. Right, it's like I wouldn't trust to leave my dog with you, even leave my parents with you. So you know, there's that too, and I mean, and obviously those you know, our parents are older people, us, we know who we can trust and the relationships are really take care of us. It's like I see how you keep your house, I see how you don't do this. I see how you keep your house. I see how you don't do this. I see how you don't do this. I don't want you, and I think that's why my mom and dad would be like we see, you know Shay versus I ain't calling out no siblings name. Luckily I got multiple.

Shay:

But they know who they are. Like parents are like I don't want to be living with them. You see what I'm like. Oh God you know, that kind of situation.

Vanessa:

Yeah, yeah, I mean there's pros and cons to all of this, yeah, and then you think about physical safety and emotional safety, and there is a lot of elder abuse out there.

Shay:

A lot of elder abuse. It's so sad and I know people get impatient. It's like abusing a kid, because you know you know they're reverting, they're getting more childlike as they get older and their patience low on your working. But yeah, yeah.

Vanessa:

And it gets to the point, too, where you know elderly people either can't communicate that with their loved ones or they're afraid to, because they're going to be with that person when their family leaves.

Shay:

So, it's.

Vanessa:

it's this horrible situation where you want to tell somebody, you want to say something because it is not an OK environment for someone to be in, but you're so afraid to do so. But if you're with your family that you trust from the get go most of the time I won't say all the time, but most of the time you don't even have to worry about that from the beginning.

Shay:

Yeah, I couldn't imagine and build views in my family or not even yelling, because I was just raised in a place you don't raise your voice to your parents. You like, you respect and a lot of it comes from how you respect your elders. Like you know, I noticed this young, younger generations, like even millennials, generation Z, alpha, all of them. They don't have respect like they used to. Like we were, that was ingrained in us. Like my grandmother, we were around her, my grandfather or any aunts or uncles. We were on our best behaviors. Now we act like butt wipes when we were at home, but we're around the older people you act right like and so that has transcribed to as older 45. Now, like I am totally like. They ain't no cussing, they ain't no yelling and you don't do nothing around it by your elders. Like you are like, seriously, your oil point you're like you're the military best behavior, exactly.

Shay:

But these young kids, they just act a hot mess. So I can only imagine them trying to take care of their elders and just just outright bad behaviors.

Vanessa:

Yeah yeah, yeah, well, and you know and there's other parts to this too If you have a parent who has been sick for a while or not, if you've been there and they've had these conversations with you along the way, you know their history and you can have a conversation with the doctor and say, well, three years ago this happened. I know they're on these medications. There was a reaction to XYZ when they took it. So you can really be an advocate for their health. And that is that is so powerful to have someone that's going to fight for you when you don't have the fight left in you. And it's a beautiful thing when you can do that for someone, but at the same time, it does take a lot of time to do that.

Vanessa:

You know, I know my mom she was. She was sick for 16 years, so there were so many hospital visits and surgeries and you know medications and trials that she would be a part of and all these things. And there were just a couple of us who kind of knew, okay, well, she's taking this, she's taking that. She goes to dialysis three times a week. You know this is the reaction she has to this. She can only have this much liquid before she gets puffy, like all those things that you just know when you're spending time with someone and you really love them and get to know them.

Vanessa:

My dad had panic attacks and anxiety so I knew when he needed to eat before he'd get shaky. You knew what environments were okay for him to be in so he felt comfortable, and people who are not around them and spent time growing up with them aren't going to know that.

Shay:

Yeah, that's good. Well, first of all I want to thank you for being that caregiver for your parents. So I honor you in this moment because that is not an easy job, and so God is definitely proud of you as his child for doing that. And I can't imagine doing it. I mean I'm kind of in the caretaking mode with helping my husband as much as a little bit. I mean, he's nowhere near that, you know, but that's why I try to maintain a clean house and cook and all that because he's going through his stuff. But I can't imagine the full time or even three quarters of the time.

Shay:

Having to take care of a family member is a lot. And then you know, and then that moves greatly into or smoothly over to our children's point of view, right, like the financial burden. I mean it's a lot. I'm just going to list them and then we can talk about them. But the financial burden, you know the work care demands, just the distance of having your family member. You know if you're living out of state and different your own personal life responsibilities that go with it, and then obviously the tension and stress that it can create in a household. So there's a lot that goes into that and I think the biggest thing that always comes I mean us being counselors is the financial burden. It's expensive and it gets even more expensive when you talk about long-term care and senior centers or care and nursing homes, and the list goes on. Yeah, how did you deal with the financial burden?

Vanessa:

So there's a lot that goes into that, I think, with a financial burden, and a lot of it could just be you and your household and missing work and not taking promotions or all these things, and I guess that goes into you know to work career demands too, or all these things, and I guess that goes into you know, to work career demands too.

Vanessa:

But I was lucky enough that my parents had saved well, um, but there were also times where medications were so expensive and not carried or covered by insurance that my parents really struggled.

Vanessa:

I mean, there were months I paid for, you know for for light bills, because I knew they wouldn't get paid otherwise and my parents never knew that it would just automatically get paid. So it was a financial struggle sometimes when you're trying to run your household and then all of a sudden there are these needs that you weren't anticipating. Because I think we all expect, for the most part, our parents to be prepared for these things, because we're always told to be prepared and we know there are some parents who just don't their entire lives and sometimes things happen as well that just don't let them be where they want to be. But financially, let's say you live somewhere else and you're having to fly back and forth. I mean, there's a lot of money with, you know, planes and renting cars and if you have to get hotel rooms and there's a lot of stuff that you don't think about financially, that you have to do.

Shay:

You really do and it's got to be a burden on, you know, and hard on the children or the caregivers when they're out of state. Like you said, because I know we moved back to Maryland because we just when my husband was being retired from the military, it was just. It was a better setup. You know, family was here to help support with our child financially, just make more money up here in this region. You know there was a lot of different opportunities. But I always used to say especially his mother being single like we need to be in Maryland. And then my parents are getting older. You know my dad stayed in Maryland because his parents are getting older, so that does help. But sometimes life doesn't work out that way.

Shay:

Sometimes you're in California, your parents are in Massachusetts or Florida you know, and so that can add a definitely a financial burden to it.

Shay:

And then I have to say it's just like you're raising your own. My brother and sister and I talk about this a lot. We're still in that. I mean I'm kind of on the outside of that phase because my daughter is older, she graduated college. I mean she's still living with us, but my siblings still have young kids that they have to take care of and they're still growing and, you know, going through life and they're still on this early journey of parenthood and finding themselves, and so our parents are older and so you know that will definitely be a burden on them because they're like I still got kids at home that I need to take care of. So and you add the elderly family members into the picture and that's a lot, it's a big, huge burden.

Vanessa:

And then you look at that financially and that financial piece. It actually kind of flows over into all these other fields, like the work, career, geographical distance, your personal life and responsibilities. Money plays a part in all those things. All those things when we think about it.

Shay:

So let's talk about compromising because, you know, this, for me, has been feeling a little I don't know. I don't even know the feeling, it just feels heavy. This is a heavy topic, but it's also been feeling a little. Yeah, just heavy is the right word. So let's talk about compromising.

Vanessa:

So I think one of the biggest things we can do is have those conversations. Number one have them with your parents, don't have them without your parents. It really helps them feel like they're in control, helps them feel valued and it ensures that what they really want can be decided about or talked about and their wishes are met. You know, this is something that I got caught up in unintentionally one time and really hurt my grandparents' feelings.

Vanessa:

We had had a conversation, my dad and I, about a senior care facility that was near us and we were like, well, we don't even know how much it's going to cost, because we're talking about my dad later on, because he had cancer, and I was like, you know, this could be a great option for you, um, for my dad that you could kind of come and go, cause it was very close to his house, so when he didn't feel good he could go up there and stay in his little efficiency apartment. If he felt okay, he'd go home and stay at his house. So he wanted me to get some more information. So I called you know, talk to somebody about this. And they ended up thinking it was my grandparents and sent brochures to my grandparents. My grandmother was horrified because she thought we were trying to get rid of her. So having to explain these things or have these conversations without parents and then backtracking, not a good thing.

Shay:

Yeah.

Vanessa:

Involve them. Have these conversations. If they won't talk to you, say okay, well, we're going to have to do it without you, but be honest.

Shay:

Be honest, yeah, and I would add open communication with your siblings as well and other people that are involved in that process. Because talking to your parents about their needs and concerns, as I mentioned earlier, early on I've done that, but we started having conversations with my two siblings and my parents. So, like, what is your needs, what are your concerns, what is you want to? What does this look like as you're aging, you know, and stuff, and we still got a long ways to go because people are scared to answer those tough questions. But at least open it up to have those communications.

Vanessa:

Exactly, and all you can do is bring these things to other people's attention. You know, this is something that I do with cousins of mine for different things, and it's like this is happening. You need to be aware, and I think a lot of people, especially early stages, they're like, oh, they've always been that way or oh, you know, that happens when you get older and they kind of brush things off.

Shay:

Yeah.

Vanessa:

And that's hard to see. When you see something that is truly not okay in someone and you're concerned and someone else brushes it off, what do you do when you're not the primary caregiver for that person or you won't be. So, really, you have to be able to say, okay, I've done my job, I've had this conversation, I've told them what I see. And then you have to be able to let it go.

Shay:

Exactly that's so important.

Shay:

And then also assessing the needs and creating a care plan. I mean, I know I used to do this a lot with the military when if something happened to especially if it was dual military you know you had the creative readiness plan, a care plan, especially when they have kids, and I think we could do the same we know we don't think we can and we should do the same with our family members, figuring out what they need, make a plan outlining each person's responsibilities, you know and this goes all the way to estate planning, but the living plan like what does that look like? While you're going through and there might be illnesses or stuff that's going on that you know you might need someone's help like having that conversation and making those plans is very important.

Vanessa:

Exactly, exactly, exactly. And we did this too. You know, my mom was diagnosed years before my dad. My dad got cancer when my mom was kind of in her last couple of years of life. But we had to have that open conversation of, okay, we've planned for dad to be alone, even though he didn't like any of our plans, but we had never planned on mom being alone, so we had to have that conversation. If she lived longer than my dad, what would that look like? And my mom was very big on. You know, you have a life to live, you have things to do. She was like I want to go to a senior living facility, I want to have friends, I want to go to events, I want to play bingo.

Vanessa:

You know she wanted those things and those, those social aspects that she would not have gotten in my home. And you know she was like if I need to move somewhere to be closer to my kids, that's fine, they don't need to move from me. So if you can see the needs of others when you're planning, um, really take a look at that, see where your kids are. Like you were saying earlier, uh, because we're all in different places in our lives and it's hard for a kid to pick up and move to you if they have kids in school and a really good job and a house payment.

Vanessa:

So have those conversations, talk about what that plan looks like and, if that plan changes, have a plan B, a plan C. I know we had that with my mom and just knowing that she was okay with making a decision that we didn't take care of her full time took so much burden off my shoulders, so much burden so. So those are things we can have those conversations with, and then we can also talk about hiring professional caregivers if if you have the money for that, the good thing is is there is, there's programs, especially if you know your grandparent, parent, whoever this is for, was military, you know they'll help you pay for someone to come in three days a week and help them clean or bathe or do laundry, and that can really be a blessing to a family.

Shay:

Really be a blessing. And then you know I say what goes from hiring professional caregivers is setting boundaries to prevent caregiver burnout, which that professional caregiver can help with. Right, If you have the time and the money to get the professional caregiver that can help with that. But also, just you know, the emotional support. I mean you know we can put a lot of time, money and emotional support into taking care of family members and that can definitely lead to burnout.

Vanessa:

At one point in time I had a mom with cancer and a spouse with cancer and I was the sole provider in my household. Yet I had to take care of the spouse when I got home from work every day, and then my mom and dad would come every weekend so they could do treatments in Atlanta, and it was a lot.

Vanessa:

Yeah, it was a lot, and I lost myself in that and I didn't know who I was. I didn't know what to do or how to be, and I got to this point where I had to say no to something, and I knew that, or I don't know what would happen to me. So you can find communities that can help with that and I would say, always ask the caregiver how they're doing, because nobody worries about that person and usually that person has the most stress on them. So, you know, reach out to other people that are going through the same thing as you have the conversations about that and be open and honest, and those boundaries are going to oh, they're going to be wonderful one day, cause I was able to do that with my father and just say that's a no and walk away, and I would know he'd be mad for a little bit. He would always come back to me Exactly yeah.

Vanessa:

So there's all that. And then you can always develop a financial plan. How are we going to pay for this? You know? Do we need to modify the home? Do we need to worry about travel back and forth? There's all these things that you can talk about before it becomes an issue, not in that place where how are we going to pay for this? Or you know he wanted to go here. We can't afford it. We can only afford plan B or C.

Shay:

So if you know that ahead of time.

Vanessa:

wonderful, Absolutely wonderful.

Shay:

Wow, that was fabulous. I mean a lot of great advice and definitely learning to or compromising with your elderly family members. And I would wrap it with Proverbs 23, 22, which says listen to your father, who gave you a life, and do not despise your mother when she is old. For me, I laugh because sometimes we get to the point where we're despising my mother and she's growing older and we love her and we don't want to listen to her father, but you know he gives great advice. So any final thoughts, vanessa?

Vanessa:

I would just say practice patience with all of us Like you're saying practice, patience. Know that it's going to happen to all of us, and remember what you want done for yourself one day and make sure you plan it, even if your parents didn't.

Shay:

There is a blessing in getting older right, and so try to find the joy in it and being there for the you know, your elderly family member at that last part of their life and their journey, because you know, once they leave, that's it, and so trying to find that time with them is important too, but definitely practice patience. So thank you for joining us today have a wonderful day.

Shay:

So thank you for joining us today. Have a wonderful day. A big thank you for listening to this episode. We hope you found today's chat about the intersection of religion and money insightful. We would love to hear your feedback.

Vanessa:

Hit that subscribe button or follow the podcast, and please feel free to leave us a review yes, and for the latest Yahweh's Money content, visit us at crusaders4change. org or find us anywhere you listen to podcasts. Until next time, stay financially fit and spiritually inspired.

Shay:

And remember it's always better Yahweh's way.

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Shay Cook

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