{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":0.0,"endTime":8.4,"body":"Music."},{"startTime":8.348,"endTime":11.114,"body":"This is belonging"},{"startTime":10.994,"endTime":18.667,"body":"a podcast that explores being alive in the age of loneliness I'm your host Becca piastrelli,"},{"startTime":18.736,"endTime":29.308,"body":"a writer mother and Community tender currently living on the ancestral lands of the Coast Miwok people in present-day Marin County California."},{"startTime":30.592,"endTime":36.564,"body":"In this show we explore topics like Rites of Passage cultivating meaningful community."},{"startTime":36.768,"endTime":42.109,"body":"Seasonal and cyclical living and what it means to be a good ancestor in these times."},{"startTime":42.79,"endTime":53.776,"body":"I have thought-provoking conversations with friends teachers elders and ancestral medicine Keepers to help support you in bringing more meaning and connection to your life."},{"startTime":54.52,"endTime":64.363,"body":"I also pop in here and there to share updates and learnings from my own story because we were meant to do this together cosmically holding hands as we walk the spiral of life."},{"startTime":65.143,"endTime":71.979,"body":"You can expect to be challenged by New or Old ideas face your beliefs and what systems informed them."},{"startTime":72.255,"endTime":79.261,"body":"Curious and brave to tell the truth about the deeper harder things and feel comforted in the knowing that you don't."},{"startTime":79.12,"endTime":88.24,"body":"Music."},{"startTime":88.081,"endTime":98.229,"body":"Hello and welcome to belonging the podcast I'm Becca piastrelli your host of this podcast your guide for these deep"},{"startTime":98.217,"endTime":100.003,"body":"and sometimes not so deep"},{"startTime":99.91,"endTime":113.974,"body":"but helpful hopefully conversations about what it's like to be alive in these times grappling with our needs our desires what is missing and how,"},{"startTime":113.989,"endTime":122.652,"body":"meet that need that all of us have to feel belonging to feel connection to remember who and what we come from."},{"startTime":122.829,"endTime":131.574,"body":"If you are new here I realize I've been saying welcome back but maybe you are new here so hi I'm Becca,"},{"startTime":131.643,"endTime":144.555,"body":"I have lots of episodes in the back catalog of this podcast if you go to belonging podcast.com where I talk about a whole range of topics and you can also very much here my own,"},{"startTime":144.579,"endTime":152.009,"body":"Journey you can also hear the Journey of this podcast and what I thought it was going to be and then what it became so"},{"startTime":151.907,"endTime":155.124,"body":"if you're liking these episodes and I get"},{"startTime":154.986,"endTime":163.847,"body":"messages from folks often about discovering the older episodes they are there for you maybe I'll do some re-releases over the winter break"},{"startTime":163.736,"endTime":172.714,"body":"we'll see but you are most welcome here thank you for listening nameless faceless ones that exist"},{"startTime":172.567,"endTime":184.975,"body":"I'm just picturing you in my mind as I'm sitting here alone in my little she shed of my dreams with a heater blastin looking at my face on a computer and just like oh."},{"startTime":185.269,"endTime":194.679,"body":"This is a transmission out two hearts souls and Minds who are interested in the same things I'm interested in."},{"startTime":195.172,"endTime":206.851,"body":"So I was going to do a little check in because I really feel this I'm recording this intro it's like mid-november 2022 in the northern hemisphere where I live it is."},{"startTime":207.37,"endTime":209.047,"body":"We are on the other side of that,"},{"startTime":209.089,"endTime":220.48,"body":"gosh dang stupid time change which I disagree with because it hits your body so hard and now the Sun is going down early"},{"startTime":220.468,"endTime":223.379,"body":"and I can really feel my energy"},{"startTime":223.34,"endTime":238.178,"body":"plunging like the sap in the trees plunging to the roots plunging underground the release of the leaves and then the plunging of the sap of the energy of the literal sugars down into the roots."},{"startTime":238.941,"endTime":247.334,"body":"I've been getting my stews and sweet potatoes on my bone broths and all the things and also I have been."},{"startTime":248.222,"endTime":252.879,"body":"Contending with feeling like I'm bad and wrong for being tired."},{"startTime":253.263,"endTime":260.855,"body":"Ensure sure there's like science and stuff and nutrition and all the things that I'm working on to try to like build up energy because I have been."},{"startTime":261.05,"endTime":268.003,"body":"A fatigued woman for many years and maybe for the rest of my life that's one of the things I'm contending with would it be okay if I was,"},{"startTime":268.126,"endTime":275.619,"body":"a tired person forever"},{"startTime":268.126,"endTime":275.619,"body":"I think it actually would it be I'd be okay and,"},{"startTime":275.751,"endTime":282.524,"body":"there's a real sense I think with the time chains that happens for a lot of us it depends where you are on the planet."},{"startTime":282.854,"endTime":288.123,"body":"What the sky looks like and when here in Northern California"},{"startTime":288.066,"endTime":301.743,"body":"it gets pretty dark around 45 and it has been giving me anxiety it's been giving me anxiety about not getting enough done when the Sun goes down because I have this real ancestral Primal urge to like."},{"startTime":302.056,"endTime":312.24,"body":"Be done when the Sun goes down it doesn't feel right to me to be like dicka dicka dicka dicka dicka off doing all my things in the sun goes down it feels like a ceremony it feels like a thing of rituals."},{"startTime":312.723,"endTime":322.719,"body":"Okay we're complete we're resting or nourishing ourselves"},{"startTime":312.723,"endTime":322.719,"body":"we're reading books to our babies and singing songs in the Moonlight and going to bed."},{"startTime":323.337,"endTime":332.306,"body":"So I just feel like this happens every year and I've been low-key shaving myself a little bit about that what the heck about how oh,"},{"startTime":332.366,"endTime":343.406,"body":"it's another late fall and look at you you're just like not surrendering into winter with ease and joy and then I remember,"},{"startTime":343.439,"endTime":352.876,"body":"we are creatures of habit we are living in systems that we can't fully aft out of but we can criticize and change what we can,"},{"startTime":352.909,"endTime":360.564,"body":"so I'm working on remembering that we are in the slow descent towards the darkest night,"},{"startTime":360.66,"endTime":370.062,"body":"winter solstice coming up in the Northern Hemisphere and that what is done is done it's time to start wrapping up and it's all good."},{"startTime":370.689,"endTime":374.806,"body":"It's all good because the body and the Earth knows and they're one in the same."},{"startTime":375.523,"endTime":384.78,"body":"That's where I'm at so like what am I doing in the dark times the sun goes down Atlas my daughter has real is really into singing now"},{"startTime":384.678,"endTime":393.828,"body":"particularly Twinkle Twinkle Little Star we have beautiful Renditions everyday farias Renditions she thinks it's real tricky and funny."},{"startTime":394.068,"endTime":401.732,"body":"To change the words sometimes like twinkle twinkle little elephant twinkle twinkle little."},{"startTime":401.972,"endTime":407.322,"body":"Trampoline and then she laughed so hard and I'm just like you are so funny."},{"startTime":408.021,"endTime":414.929,"body":"You are fine you have found humor you are a human being who stepped into humor that makes me very happy."},{"startTime":415.34,"endTime":425.192,"body":"I've also been getting my TV on I'm trying to make it known that I am not a person who knits by the fire every night although."},{"startTime":425.369,"endTime":430.872,"body":"That's definitely on the vision board but I've been watching."},{"startTime":431.67,"endTime":435.373,"body":"I even feel a little hesitation why okay know it's time to tell the people,"},{"startTime":435.451,"endTime":447.076,"body":"I listen this one podcast where they call the listeners readers dear readers bridger-teton dear readers this is what I've been watching the crown hello."},{"startTime":447.559,"endTime":448.85,"body":"The crown."},{"startTime":449.135,"endTime":459.472,"body":"We're getting into the Diana years wondering how"},{"startTime":449.135,"endTime":459.472,"body":"what do I how honestly how Harry and William are doing with it and if they're watching the probably not but are they"},{"startTime":459.424,"endTime":464.693,"body":"maybe they are The Vow season 2 about the Nexium cult"},{"startTime":464.637,"endTime":473.642,"body":"if you know you know I really enjoy listening to and watching content on Colts I think to be in"},{"startTime":473.594,"endTime":488.586,"body":"space I'm in of spirituality and ritual is to be called adjacent and to be aware of you know the fungibility the plasticity the fragility of the human mind and soul in its yearning to belong so this is like the"},{"startTime":488.493,"endTime":493.906,"body":"frames eyewear when I watch these shows but this one's pretty."},{"startTime":494.236,"endTime":500.658,"body":"Shocking shocking with these women did and how are they were manipulated again if you know you know if you don't."},{"startTime":500.88,"endTime":506.203,"body":"You don't have to add it to your list we got too much on her list anyways and then White Lotus"},{"startTime":506.146,"endTime":517.195,"body":"on HBO again if you know you know Season Two taking place in Sicily wanting to live in Sicily now forever which I find to be whole commentary on."},{"startTime":517.795,"endTime":520.76,"body":"What happens to human beings on vacation."},{"startTime":521.054,"endTime":529.123,"body":"And like we all dream of rest and also like the difficulty and what happens the human mind when,"},{"startTime":529.156,"endTime":539.097,"body":"it's not in the act of doing and I love how White Lotus sort of touches upon like carnal desire and choice of whether to give in to that carnal desire,"},{"startTime":539.211,"endTime":551.079,"body":"and then also just like Incredible characters and commentary on relationships and sex and money and class privilege and,"},{"startTime":551.121,"endTime":552.331,"body":"all the things,"},{"startTime":552.409,"endTime":563.205,"body":"so what are you watching what are you listening to and if you're crocheting by the fire that's amazing my mending basket is a call in my name so we get into today's episode."},{"startTime":563.364,"endTime":568.688,"body":"It is a conversation with the one and only Waverly Davis Waverly Davis,"},{"startTime":568.712,"endTime":574.035,"body":"is so cool she's a multi-dimensional twin mama"},{"startTime":573.996,"endTime":583.712,"body":"the two babies at once she's a facilitator of sacred spaces and sounds and artists and a podcaster she has this rad podcast called a wave away,"},{"startTime":583.782,"endTime":593.48,"body":"I was interviewed on it the name of the episode is belonging and Beyond with Becca piastrelli and then we loved it so much we like let's just keep going so like that was part one."},{"startTime":593.783,"endTime":601.582,"body":"This is part 2 she lives outside of Charlottesville Virginia in the Blue Ridge Mountains on unseated Menachem territory"},{"startTime":601.453,"endTime":613.456,"body":"and in this episode we discuss how we incorporate the sacred into motherhood by embedding rituals into our daily lives and threshold moments this is a very deep interest of mine as a mama of a two-year-old"},{"startTime":613.309,"endTime":620.487,"body":"who really felt like ritual and the sacred was sort of like pulled out from underneath me for many reasons"},{"startTime":620.349,"endTime":633.576,"body":"and being seen I literally wrote a book with a weird ritual in it being seen as the ritual woman and then people asking me how to do with your child and I'm like no no you tell me I don't know you tell me how to do this because often"},{"startTime":633.51,"endTime":638.698,"body":"rituals for me is very personal and fills my cup in a lot of ways so I can go back to mothering"},{"startTime":638.551,"endTime":651.752,"body":"and working and so I want to talk to Waverly who's ahead of me and the motherhood path about how she like real-deal does it she shares her birth Story how a plant ceremony called her to a more sacred life and then we journey through"},{"startTime":651.65,"endTime":660.511,"body":"her rituals and practices for tending to her nervous nervous system and challenging moments and how she co-create Sacred Space with her kids and it's."},{"startTime":660.688,"endTime":665.543,"body":"So sweet and beautiful and very inspiring for those of you who."},{"startTime":665.918,"endTime":673.771,"body":"Do you have the kids thing going on for you and for those of you who don't I think there's a lot of powerful wisdom in here as well,"},{"startTime":673.777,"endTime":684.718,"body":"so let's roll on over Pop on over to this really joyful and nourishing and just lovely chat with Waverly Davis."},{"startTime":685.36,"endTime":695.44,"body":"Music."},{"startTime":695.284,"endTime":699.635,"body":"Welcome to belonging hello hello."},{"startTime":699.965,"endTime":709.393,"body":"It's so good to be here with you so just to give context to folks listening I met you because you reached out to me to be on your podcast."},{"startTime":709.561,"endTime":717.369,"body":"A wave away with Waverly Davis and we will link to that episode in the show notes it was one of the most,"},{"startTime":717.447,"endTime":726.29,"body":"enjoyable conversations I've had in a while just like with a human in general and I just found,"},{"startTime":726.314,"endTime":736.301,"body":"your presence to be really enchanting and nervous system soothing and I also had more questions for you so"},{"startTime":736.262,"endTime":748.283,"body":"it's almost like that was part one and you can go to that episode The it go to a wave away podcast and look up the conversation with Becca peace rally will link it in the show notes and this is like part 2,"},{"startTime":748.289,"endTime":757.078,"body":"we're just going to keep deep chatting yeah keep keep chatting so you are a mama you have twins."},{"startTime":757.426,"endTime":764.631,"body":"They are 77 yes seven years old so I just feel like in awe of you being."},{"startTime":765.078,"endTime":773.822,"body":"A mother of two babies that came out at the same time and that it's been seven years since then and you have like really woven."},{"startTime":774.369,"endTime":777.252,"body":"Your life and your spiritual practice."},{"startTime":777.519,"endTime":786.38,"body":"And like the logistics the like hard things the mundane things like real life things into your life."},{"startTime":786.612,"endTime":792.412,"body":"As a mother so I come to this conversation with like a real curiosity and sort of like humbled like."},{"startTime":792.823,"endTime":803.674,"body":"Okay I'm only two years into this journey and I find one of the questions I get is like how do you do your spiritual practice as a mother and I'm like Lou I don't really have a"},{"startTime":803.518,"endTime":810.741,"body":"good answer for that I like try things and sometimes they work and sometimes they don't so"},{"startTime":810.666,"endTime":815.935,"body":"all that said I'd love to hear from you about your motherhood Journey"},{"startTime":815.833,"endTime":824.244,"body":"whatever comes through and then let's weave our way towards the sacred and motherhood and real-life all woven together"},{"startTime":824.097,"endTime":833.859,"body":"yes thank you Becca I'm so honored to be here with you like you said the first conversation was so nourishing for me as well and"},{"startTime":833.73,"endTime":836.136,"body":"really filled me up so."},{"startTime":836.475,"endTime":850.396,"body":"I'm super excited to continue it I think I'd like to begin by just sharing a little bit of my birth story if that's okay just to help kind of begin Where it All Began or."},{"startTime":850.6,"endTime":853.339,"body":"At least wear one layer of it began right."},{"startTime":853.553,"endTime":861.783,"body":"And this is probably really relatable for a lot of moms and parents I started out finding out I was pregnant went straight to the midwife,"},{"startTime":861.916,"endTime":869.066,"body":"plan the home water birth no meds that the thought the whole thing had it all ready to go."},{"startTime":869.595,"endTime":874.765,"body":"So to speak then I found out at 13 weeks that I was pregnant with twins."},{"startTime":875.041,"endTime":886.585,"body":"And my Midwife was like well I've delivered some twins but not a lot so I don't like okay that doesn't sound super comforting."},{"startTime":886.753,"endTime":890.924,"body":"So I ended up switching to an OBGYN at a hospital."},{"startTime":891.425,"endTime":900.178,"body":"Who I know very well and super easy pregnancy was squatting around walking like really it was like."},{"startTime":900.751,"endTime":907.893,"body":"I had some morning sickness but like that was it it was the craziest thing I was like oh I could just have twins in me,"},{"startTime":907.989,"endTime":918.93,"body":"forever like I feel like my body was made to do this and then at 37 weeks I went in for an ultrasound and one of my twins Matilda wasn't moving."},{"startTime":919.125,"endTime":928.274,"body":"Her heartbeat was fine vitals are fine but with twins they often freak out about everything it's considered high risk even though it naturally occurs in the body."},{"startTime":928.577,"endTime":940.58,"body":"So I went in on Monday morning for an ultrasound that Monday night I had a C-section and it was yeah it was chaos to the max"},{"startTime":940.424,"endTime":948.565,"body":"my son was put on intravenous antibiotics for a week straight from birth I wasn't able to breastfeed him right away,"},{"startTime":948.662,"endTime":960.844,"body":"it was you know we were in the hospital for a week it was you know and I also want to honor that I know many other parents have much more challenges that than that with their with their birthing experience but."},{"startTime":961.301,"endTime":968.019,"body":"It felt really challenging for us so finally went home after I think it was five or six nights then."},{"startTime":968.791,"endTime":982.405,"body":"You know the first night it was okay and I was like oh this is so much better than the hospital like we got this and then the second night they were both up screaming the whole night and I just saw the whole night and."},{"startTime":982.69,"endTime":988.31,"body":"Just was like we don't got this nowhere near got this"},{"startTime":988.226,"endTime":1001.013,"body":"so really struggled through the first three months and then it came to a point where my husband was like you need to do something or I'm gonna call the doctor I was just very withdrawn very anxious."},{"startTime":1001.208,"endTime":1003.434,"body":"Really challenging postpartum."},{"startTime":1003.584,"endTime":1014.228,"body":"And then ended up going on Zoloft for a bit of time again wanting to normalize that experience for people who also have that and it helped me"},{"startTime":1014.216,"endTime":1023.545,"body":"I was on it for like only a few months and then you know found my way but my you know went off of it and you know."},{"startTime":1023.866,"endTime":1034.951,"body":"That was that and it helped me a lot but my all that to save my kind of entry into motherhood was very chaotic and overwhelming and"},{"startTime":1034.867,"endTime":1037.913,"body":"I always say to people with postpartum"},{"startTime":1037.901,"endTime":1050.921,"body":"I constantly felt completely alone even when I was in a room full of people who are tending to me and talking to me and caring for me I still felt completely alone."},{"startTime":1051.674,"endTime":1060.31,"body":"And I don't still to this day don't know why or like what that was but it was just my experience and I also."},{"startTime":1060.947,"endTime":1065.703,"body":"Could not see that things would ever be different I thought oh I'm going to have."},{"startTime":1065.862,"endTime":1073.661,"body":"Two babies attached to my boobs constantly forever like this is the future and I always thought I want to go back I want to go back I don't,"},{"startTime":1073.784,"endTime":1077.604,"body":"this isn't what I want and I couldn't see."},{"startTime":1077.808,"endTime":1087.461,"body":"That it would change like my rational mind knew it would change but something inside of me was like no this is how it is forever so that all that to say."},{"startTime":1088.458,"endTime":1101.055,"body":"That was really challenging but they grew older time went on things got easier as you said they're seven now and things are much much easier but I just want to normalize and speak to."},{"startTime":1101.421,"endTime":1110.903,"body":"How chaotic and overwhelming and intense that first chapter was because it was survival each day really was."},{"startTime":1111.206,"endTime":1116.341,"body":"Yeah thank you for sharing that."},{"startTime":1116.617,"endTime":1124.821,"body":"I always I just want to hear every person's birth story it's so healing to share it and to hear it."},{"startTime":1125.484,"endTime":1127.773,"body":"And it's so true."},{"startTime":1128.707,"endTime":1143.158,"body":"That feeling of being alone and it's like existential it's was true for me is true for me I just visited visited a friend yesterday who just had her second her first is atlases age and then she went right into the second and,"},{"startTime":1143.273,"endTime":1153.007,"body":"we're just like crying together in the bedroom and we didn't even have to say why it was just like let's cry yeah this is so intense and,"},{"startTime":1153.139,"endTime":1163.323,"body":"yeah I talked a lot about revilla zhing and I wonder how much of that is like me processing my trauma of being a postpartum women in this modern era."},{"startTime":1163.717,"endTime":1171.912,"body":"And also I was postpartum and early pandemic and I just like Wonder did our ancestors who like had some semblance of a village."},{"startTime":1172.152,"endTime":1178.609,"body":"Feel that aloneness to like the rite of passage right this rite of passage that now like."},{"startTime":1178.949,"endTime":1187.27,"body":"They say mature Essence they like scientists and psychologists say like as many years long it's like it the identity shift takes."},{"startTime":1187.483,"endTime":1192.536,"body":"A long time like that passage is not stepping over the doorway and like birthing your children it's like."},{"startTime":1192.965,"endTime":1203.933,"body":"A gradual unlike untying the knot and then weaving the new threads of mother whoever however you want to identify and I just like wonder if like,"},{"startTime":1204.047,"endTime":1211.981,"body":"that's also something we're feeling I'll just wonder for the rest of my life like how much of it is like a symptom of the pandemic how much of it is a symptom of."},{"startTime":1212.293,"endTime":1219.966,"body":"Birth trauma how much of is a symptom of being in a village list Society or how much of this is actually like my."},{"startTime":1220.764,"endTime":1227.24,"body":"Initiation yes and we don't for me with the postpartum period,"},{"startTime":1227.282,"endTime":1241.553,"body":"I didn't have ritual in my life that I didn't have Sacred Space I didn't have ceremony I didn't come into all of that until my twins are about to when I first started going to ceremony and and learning from indigenous"},{"startTime":1241.514,"endTime":1248.287,"body":"people send plant medicine and things like this that didn't come until they were too so I think"},{"startTime":1248.284,"endTime":1262.591,"body":"for me a lot of the overwhelming intensity was that I hadn't found that yet you know not only did I not have the village constantly surrounding me but I also didn't have that rootedness in,"},{"startTime":1262.616,"endTime":1267.885,"body":"rituals and so I didn't have what felt like a Rite of Passage."},{"startTime":1268.476,"endTime":1277.337,"body":"I didn't have a conscious experience of that was that that way you know and I think if I often think about if I had."},{"startTime":1277.559,"endTime":1282.847,"body":"Been who I am now when my twins were born."},{"startTime":1283.456,"endTime":1292.587,"body":"How different would the experience have been right the Eternal question like who knows but yeah I feel like"},{"startTime":1292.494,"endTime":1301.994,"body":"the subconscious and me the something that's super deep in my bones was longing for that Village and that ritual and rite of passage."},{"startTime":1302.136,"endTime":1308.152,"body":"And it wasn't there in the way that you know humans have had for most of humanity."},{"startTime":1308.572,"endTime":1318.307,"body":"And so I think that word so much to a lot of the overwhelming intensity of my toast part of time so then what called you to Ritual when you're Twins were too."},{"startTime":1318.529,"endTime":1319.873,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1320.032,"endTime":1331.882,"body":"That's a great question a lot of things Honestly though one of my friends I mean I had done some yoga and meditation things of this nature of very surface level,"},{"startTime":1331.996,"endTime":1336.221,"body":"and one of my best best soul friends on the planet was like."},{"startTime":1336.38,"endTime":1350.03,"body":"I'm going to ayahuasca ceremony do you want to come with me and I was like oh I don't really know what that is but I guess I'll just join and see so I was literally well that's like 0 to 100 yeah it was it was like."},{"startTime":1350.172,"endTime":1355.135,"body":"My soul was just like buckle up we're going to do this now."},{"startTime":1355.888,"endTime":1361.896,"body":"Dang so I just yeah I went not knowing again not knowing much about it but was,"},{"startTime":1361.947,"endTime":1373.931,"body":"you know incredibly Changed by this medicine and this experience and then continue to go to additional ceremonies and learn from different peoples and it all Builds on that but yeah I really."},{"startTime":1374.208,"endTime":1377.064,"body":"Dove head first"},{"startTime":1376.989,"endTime":1385.049,"body":"so the plants and sounds like the plans called you yeah in a deep way yeah and iOS cos not"},{"startTime":1384.956,"endTime":1397.256,"body":"something I have I have not been called by the grandmother as they say my partner has I haven't I'm where I'm where psilocybin and I are in Partnership right now."},{"startTime":1397.614,"endTime":1399.876,"body":"But I hear it's like an ego death."},{"startTime":1400.854,"endTime":1413.019,"body":"Good thing I mean I don't know if you want to talk about what happened for you but I am just so curious just like in this just to orient us contextually to like yes two year old twins."},{"startTime":1413.899,"endTime":1420.869,"body":"Chaos traumatic birth I think I'll go to an ayahuasca ceremony."},{"startTime":1421.056,"endTime":1429.908,"body":"What happened yeah it sounds so wild and you say it but yeah that's truly what it was I think I just was like."},{"startTime":1430.346,"endTime":1433.995,"body":"I had twins so I can do anything like"},{"startTime":1433.92,"endTime":1444.419,"body":"like I'm here let's go for you know and what happened is that I had visions of that Village that your that were speaking of"},{"startTime":1444.263,"endTime":1457.797,"body":"I had Village around I had visions of the fire of the stars of the open Plains of mountains and women sitting in circle breastfeeding and drumming like I was like oh I remember now"},{"startTime":1457.623,"endTime":1463.963,"body":"this is what it is oh wow and it just brought me straight there and I was like oh I."},{"startTime":1464.293,"endTime":1469.824,"body":"Maybe I don't have this everyday in my quote-unquote 3D real life but,"},{"startTime":1469.947,"endTime":1476.395,"body":"I can return to this feeling I can return to this memory I can return to the Past lives,"},{"startTime":1476.509,"endTime":1483.372,"body":"that I've had I can return to the experience of the village around the fire with the women and the drums and all of it."},{"startTime":1483.603,"endTime":1495.633,"body":"I can close my eyes and go there instantly now and I still do today you know set what a 5 years later however long but it really the medicine and that whole experience it."},{"startTime":1496.026,"endTime":1510.883,"body":"It helped me remember that I that I have had that maybe I you know not in this life in this exact moment that I've had it before and I remember what it feels like and so in that sense it was like,"},{"startTime":1510.934,"endTime":1521.974,"body":"being in the womb you know I've done a lot of sweat lodges to and it's that same feeling of just like being in the womb of the earth and like remembering that were held there,"},{"startTime":1522.052,"endTime":1528.581,"body":"you know it's it's that that warm comforting feeling that helps me remember that,"},{"startTime":1528.651,"endTime":1533.479,"body":"I can relate to that sense of remembrance,"},{"startTime":1533.584,"endTime":1545.119,"body":"that's how I phrase them all my work is like remembering the parts you've lost remembering who you are remembering what you've come from and it's like a very esoteric out-of-the-box way to put it in."},{"startTime":1545.512,"endTime":1558.901,"body":"I sort of always think about those Skeptics who are like curious but like that doesn't make sense in my Western mind totally it's just so beautiful that we can you know support and honor."},{"startTime":1559.348,"endTime":1567.606,"body":"Indigenous people who are preserving and continuing the lineage of indigenous wisdom because"},{"startTime":1567.504,"endTime":1569.713,"body":"those of us who are descended from"},{"startTime":1569.629,"endTime":1579.363,"body":"from Europe have really lost that through the through the practice of capitalism Colonial Empire it's like."},{"startTime":1579.684,"endTime":1588.14,"body":"In us though and it's just really really really ancient but it's it's in ourselves and so."},{"startTime":1589.263,"endTime":1594.145,"body":"It's beautiful to have these experiences whether it's with the plants or."},{"startTime":1594.655,"endTime":1605.713,"body":"For me it was like with like metal and rose tea because like in these moments of like yeah waking Visions I would say the waking dream of being liked."},{"startTime":1606.034,"endTime":1613.095,"body":"Wait we used to all do this together like we knew how to birthday we know how to prevent pregnancy we knew how."},{"startTime":1613.353,"endTime":1616.822,"body":"To give a portion we knew how to heal."},{"startTime":1617.224,"endTime":1625.203,"body":"Sickness we would honor each other's deaths reverently we did this together and it's just like."},{"startTime":1625.443,"endTime":1632.198,"body":"This deep full body sensation of like home."},{"startTime":1632.969,"endTime":1640.083,"body":"That's like the best word I can find you know I don't know if you have another word for it I've just like it's a it's a deep."},{"startTime":1641.242,"endTime":1647.808,"body":"Satiating feeling of like because I think a lot of us are searching you know for what."},{"startTime":1647.976,"endTime":1654.235,"body":"That's a whole other conversation but there's something about that Vision that feels."},{"startTime":1654.493,"endTime":1659.88,"body":"Compelling yeah mmm absolutely it's it is so minutes."},{"startTime":1660.921,"endTime":1675.219,"body":"For me it's also like an acceptance of wholeness you know like one thing I've loved to speak to in this conversation to is the overwhelm of the younger years and the newborn hood and all of that."},{"startTime":1676.171,"endTime":1686.148,"body":"Everyone always says like the challenges don't go away they just shift and change yeah so it's been so as my kids have gotten older,"},{"startTime":1686.235,"endTime":1693.233,"body":"once they kind of came to Age 4"},{"startTime":1686.235,"endTime":1693.233,"body":"it all shifted and changed in a whole new way."},{"startTime":1694.058,"endTime":1704.576,"body":"And I think that's when I really was confronted with a lot of this idea of like mother line trauma ancestral generational trauma,"},{"startTime":1704.618,"endTime":1709.167,"body":"because I could see that some of the ways that I was,"},{"startTime":1709.2,"endTime":1718.52,"body":"reacting to my kids and situations that were happening in my family unit didn't feel like they were coming from me if that makes sense they fell"},{"startTime":1718.427,"endTime":1725.866,"body":"they felt like they were from something bigger and much older than me and I just,"},{"startTime":1725.899,"endTime":1731.393,"body":"one of the like examples that I still like is"},{"startTime":1731.274,"endTime":1740.63,"body":"intense on my heart today is like this journey of learning not to be so reactive with my kids and as they have"},{"startTime":1740.501,"endTime":1741.476,"body":"you know"},{"startTime":1741.302,"endTime":1751.289,"body":"games their own independence and and their own ability to negotiate with me to talk to me you know that to say notice like"},{"startTime":1751.178,"endTime":1752.63,"body":"that hole,"},{"startTime":1752.708,"endTime":1764.459,"body":"navigation of boundaries navigation of them having their own independence and me having to learn how to let that unfold and be more responsive and less reactive,"},{"startTime":1764.582,"endTime":1771.463,"body":"has been hugely challenging and I love to read if it's okay with you a little passage from."},{"startTime":1771.991,"endTime":1776.774,"body":"Shakti Woman by Vicki Noble who I'm sure many of you know and love."},{"startTime":1777.014,"endTime":1786.037,"body":"She also created the mother piece Tarot deck which is amazing but I read these two little Snippets that I'm going to read here today and."},{"startTime":1786.251,"endTime":1790.853,"body":"It just it was the first time I had heard someone say this out loud."},{"startTime":1791.229,"endTime":1799.982,"body":"And it was the first time that I admitted oh I struggle with that too and it just changed everything so all I'll just quickly read it here."},{"startTime":1800.942,"endTime":1804.159,"body":"Sometimes when I heard myself yelling at my children,"},{"startTime":1804.264,"endTime":1813.035,"body":"it seemed as if some terrible mother much worse than my own mother who was not abusive lived within me and got activated at times."},{"startTime":1813.194,"endTime":1816.042,"body":"In reaction to the behaviors of my daughters."},{"startTime":1816.561,"endTime":1825.512,"body":"My stress level in the sense of being out of control LED to scenarios that I felt had been invented by someone other than myself."},{"startTime":1826.095,"endTime":1829.464,"body":"Or I would have flashes of my real mother's voice."},{"startTime":1829.731,"endTime":1838.98,"body":"Or hear myself mouthing words that had once come out of her mouth that had absolutely nothing to do with my current situation."},{"startTime":1839.382,"endTime":1849.809,"body":"I even recognize that my own mother must have repeated whatever patterns and beliefs she had learned from her mother and so on back through the ages."},{"startTime":1850.05,"endTime":1856.228,"body":"It was a horrifying Vision hopeless conditioning with no end in sight."},{"startTime":1856.927,"endTime":1866.824,"body":"And then a few pages later she goes on to say and this is the part that really gets me I used to fight with them much of the day,"},{"startTime":1866.911,"endTime":1875.061,"body":"then sit by them while they slept and weep for all of us I don't know if any Love Hurts as much as a mother love,"},{"startTime":1875.193,"endTime":1881.506,"body":"when you can't live up to what you know is necessary to the growth and well-being of your child."},{"startTime":1882.44,"endTime":1888.168,"body":"I just like almost SOB every time I read those words and that,"},{"startTime":1888.282,"endTime":1895.559,"body":"when she says I used to fight with them all day and then sit between their beds and weep I've done that I've."},{"startTime":1895.952,"endTime":1898.98,"body":"Done that more days than that would like to admit."},{"startTime":1899.616,"endTime":1908.918,"body":"And just when I read that I just was like oh my God other mothers also have been here wow."},{"startTime":1909.6,"endTime":1915.931,"body":"Wow they talked about shame dissolve right like it was just like."},{"startTime":1916.486,"endTime":1920.648,"body":"Who and you know that again that reactivity."},{"startTime":1921.285,"endTime":1930.29,"body":"It's still something I'm constantly learning and it's it is something that comes with my lineage with my mother line you know it's something we."},{"startTime":1930.989,"endTime":1944.918,"body":"Probably women in my line have journeyed with for many generations possibly but just I just wanted to read that because I feel like there's probably other moms and parents out there listening that maybe."},{"startTime":1945.087,"endTime":1952.318,"body":"That can help take some of that shame away too so you're saying that that."},{"startTime":1953.099,"endTime":1966.182,"body":"Reactivity feels familiar in your body so what I'm hearing you say is like we're talking about remembering the ways we used to be communal creatures in the way we used to connect and then there's also a remembering of like."},{"startTime":1966.35,"endTime":1971.421,"body":"The patterns that have moved through that we really want to come to end but we're."},{"startTime":1971.679,"endTime":1977.939,"body":"But a part of that maybe this is like the shadow side like I don't I see so much so many memes about like breaking the wheel and."},{"startTime":1978.098,"endTime":1984.627,"body":"It ends with me and this is not going to I'm not going to pass on to my children which is like a really beautiful and Powerful,"},{"startTime":1984.724,"endTime":1998.995,"body":"and then there are the moments where you witness yourself in the pattern oh yeah it's for me it's like I I'm looking down at myself like I'm up on the ceiling and I'm looking down at my body in the Moment Like whether it's yelling at the kids or whatever the situation."},{"startTime":1999.208,"endTime":2003.955,"body":"And I literally say oh there you go again it's happening again look"},{"startTime":2003.943,"endTime":2014.263,"body":"see you know it sounds like a psychedelic experience honestly to say it out loud and like maybe it kind of is even but it really."},{"startTime":2014.485,"endTime":2018.89,"body":"That yeah that reactivity and I think the reactivity."},{"startTime":2019.193,"endTime":2031.133,"body":"Is very much connected to and rooted in not only the ancestral generational stuff but also the lack of the village you know when we had the village"},{"startTime":2031.112,"endTime":2036.021,"body":"if I was having a super triggering moment my nervous system Haywire I"},{"startTime":2036.009,"endTime":2045.87,"body":"I'm super reactive one of the aunties are sisters would swoop in and say hey let me let me take them you go take five minutes and put your bare feet on the earth or drink some water."},{"startTime":2046.47,"endTime":2052.198,"body":"Now it's like okay I'm in this house in this neighborhood my partners that were."},{"startTime":2052.997,"endTime":2059.976,"body":"It's just me and the kids like what you know like there's no one swooping in and not to say like,"},{"startTime":2060.072,"endTime":2066.638,"body":"we shouldn't be able to handle challenging situations on our own some degree because of course we should be able to."},{"startTime":2067.157,"endTime":2075.379,"body":"But I think how do we have that Village around us to swoop in at least some of the time more often,"},{"startTime":2075.484,"endTime":2087.028,"body":"that reactivity at least for me feels like maybe it wouldn't be so present and like you said with a shadow it's for me it's not about getting rid of it's actually about"},{"startTime":2086.917,"endTime":2090.728,"body":"learning to honor that part of me"},{"startTime":2090.725,"endTime":2101.351,"body":"and and take it inside of me and and hug it and say it's okay we're working through this I'm doing the best I can day by day"},{"startTime":2101.168,"endTime":2109.516,"body":"you know I don't have to cast this part of me out I can welcome it in and also what I remind myself,"},{"startTime":2109.54,"endTime":2119.463,"body":"probably every day but mostly in the hard moments is and I maybe to Summit will sound by pasi but for me it feels true that"},{"startTime":2119.461,"endTime":2123.325,"body":"my twins souls in my soul"},{"startTime":2123.178,"endTime":2135.668,"body":"chose this life together this is the work we chose to come to do together here on Earth this go round and so we know what we're doing we're teaching each other we're learning together."},{"startTime":2136.124,"endTime":2146.074,"body":"And we can have the tools and resources to repair situations you know when we need to and like I find someone once told me that."},{"startTime":2146.548,"endTime":2148.802,"body":"As a parent caregiver mother."},{"startTime":2149.078,"endTime":2158.821,"body":"Your nervous system only needs to be regulated and Co regulating with your kids 30% of the time for like secure healthy attachment."},{"startTime":2159.115,"endTime":2171.613,"body":"Wow what like why do they not tell you this at the hospital or like what is something you know like oh my gosh that gives me hope to like yes we can repair and,"},{"startTime":2171.683,"endTime":2180.175,"body":"you know we don't have to be doing it perfectly all the time I have to remind myself of that a lot yeah they'll like."},{"startTime":2180.433,"endTime":2185.945,"body":"Stealth martyring that is conscious mothering."},{"startTime":2186.158,"endTime":2200.115,"body":"So like we're just trying so hard to do it better and we just have so much more knowledge and now we know about secure attachment and now we know about like the impacts of processed foods and now we know about screen time and now we know and and it"},{"startTime":2200.085,"endTime":2208.595,"body":"what does it do to us as the often Soul caregivers of a human."},{"startTime":2208.736,"endTime":2222.512,"body":"Yeah who does it hurt us yeah it's a really it's a dance it's a total dance yeah so I'm wondering you said you give yourself a hug and winning if there any other practices you do for yourself."},{"startTime":2223.266,"endTime":2227.544,"body":"I mean I'm wondering about your practices in general but particularly around."},{"startTime":2228.379,"endTime":2233.387,"body":"Those moments when your mothering your mother line,"},{"startTime":2233.42,"endTime":2240.742,"body":"is activated in that way yeah thank you so much for asking that it's been so huge for me so yeah,"},{"startTime":2240.82,"endTime":2254.641,"body":"that inner child tending is huge for me like like picking my seven-year-old self up which at the age when I was my kids age and just reminding her that she is safe we are safe."},{"startTime":2254.891,"endTime":2258.53,"body":"That's huge for me also just like saying guys."},{"startTime":2258.744,"endTime":2273.447,"body":"I need a minute and just putting my stepping outside and putting my bare feet on the earth and just taking a deep breath and looking at the sun putting my hands we have this huge tree right next to our front porch putting my hands on the tree."},{"startTime":2274.696,"endTime":2276.139,"body":"Brass I mean"},{"startTime":2275.983,"endTime":2294.648,"body":"gosh can one deep breath shift everything or what when I remind myself oh wait I can breathe and then like the outcome of this is probably going to be way different yeah so one deep breath is huge and also like,"},{"startTime":2294.735,"endTime":2303.686,"body":"in the moment when I don't fall back on my tools I don't fall back on being resource and I yell or do the thing I don't want to do."},{"startTime":2303.989,"endTime":2315.029,"body":"Taking time to make that repair with my kids and sitting down and saying hey I'm a human I'm sorry that happened I'm very overwhelmed I was very overwhelmed In This Moment."},{"startTime":2315.818,"endTime":2325.525,"body":"And I you know it didn't that didn't happen the way I wanted it to and I'm going to try better next time and you know I'm here to talk about it like that is everything"},{"startTime":2325.459,"endTime":2334.51,"body":"you know like that just doing and I don't remember to do that every time either but I try and."},{"startTime":2334.732,"endTime":2346.33,"body":"Yeah I know you had said you were also curious about like practices that I involve my kids and as well as so like those are that you know the things I just spoke to are like the triggered moment"},{"startTime":2346.174,"endTime":2353.135,"body":"practices like what do I rely on when what I rely on when I'm in those challenging moments but."},{"startTime":2353.528,"endTime":2364.541,"body":"When I'm not in the challenge and I you know I want to co-create Sacred Space and ritual with my kids I've been doing that since they were,"},{"startTime":2364.646,"endTime":2372.364,"body":"super young like ever since I started with working with plant medicine I immediately roped the men and."},{"startTime":2372.793,"endTime":2384.283,"body":"Not not not to plant medicine but the like that was the beginning of our spiritual church spiritual journey together as well and so from Super on super early on we would,"},{"startTime":2384.397,"endTime":2399.065,"body":"flowers from the garden or even get flowers from our local market and make offerings with them they love to do like any kind of Bend Allah type shape operating offerings and letting them place the flowers and."},{"startTime":2399.224,"endTime":2403.521,"body":"Talking about why it's important to give back to the Earth even from like."},{"startTime":2403.851,"endTime":2409.561,"body":"Age 23 I'm a membrane back to this one time at the side of the river and we had"},{"startTime":2409.541,"endTime":2417.456,"body":"all colors of daisies and we laid them all out in a circle I think it was like summer solstice or something of around then and,"},{"startTime":2417.508,"endTime":2424.649,"body":"we put them all in a circle and admired how beautiful they were and just talked about you know like."},{"startTime":2425.349,"endTime":2428.088,"body":"Just the beauty of the earth and then."},{"startTime":2428.49,"endTime":2435.668,"body":"We pick them all up I just felt in the moment that I wanted to pick them all up and have us send them down the river."},{"startTime":2435.872,"endTime":2445.4,"body":"So we took apart this beautiful creation we had made and we sent it on to nourish someone else to bring Beauty to someone else's life."},{"startTime":2445.55,"endTime":2450.9,"body":"And so we literally just plopped each flower and watched it float down the river you know it can be."},{"startTime":2451.536,"endTime":2460.289,"body":"Can be as simple as that and one thing I would like to do more but try to do most nights is that dinner just saying,"},{"startTime":2460.385,"endTime":2470.02,"body":"we like to say one thing we're grateful for from the day and one thing we could have done better with from the day not to shame or blame or anything but just to like."},{"startTime":2470.756,"endTime":2475.431,"body":"Humanize ourselves you know to like be."},{"startTime":2475.788,"endTime":2486.756,"body":"Be okay making mistakes and like be okay with sharing about hard times with each other that that doesn't have to be like a shameful thing or something to hide."},{"startTime":2486.969,"endTime":2492.166,"body":"So that's you know lighting candles at dinner like my kids fariq out."},{"startTime":2492.911,"endTime":2507.326,"body":"So I can't do if you light a candle at the dinner table it's like instantly AC like a ceremony it's like it's like I'm a misfire I don't know if it's element of fire what it is,"},{"startTime":2507.431,"endTime":2516.841,"body":"maybe something in their astrology but they it's just as simple as laying a candle you know that can change everything and then on the"},{"startTime":2516.767,"endTime":2525.196,"body":"on the like other end I started incorporating them into my moon blood ceremonies and offerings and giving them"},{"startTime":2525.175,"endTime":2534.387,"body":"a jar of the blood to offer to the Earth and showing them the blood talking about it why it's sacred why it's important and you know."},{"startTime":2534.978,"endTime":2549.925,"body":"That's huge for me like I don't want there to be a shame for my son or a daughter around menstruation and I want them to know just the Beauty and the ceremony that it is you know so we do offerings with that with flowers and."},{"startTime":2550.417,"endTime":2551.779,"body":"And also just like."},{"startTime":2552.281,"endTime":2563.086,"body":"Going outside at night and looking at the moon and saying hello grandmother moon like and and like we were walking to school the other morning in the moon was out and,"},{"startTime":2563.2,"endTime":2575.041,"body":"will you know saying hello grandmother Moon and I was like you know guys if you ever feel alone you can just look up at the moon and know that you always have someone there with you you know and just little."},{"startTime":2575.569,"endTime":2577.364,"body":"Little moments like that."},{"startTime":2577.64,"endTime":2589.85,"body":"Like I say so many questions first of all thank you I'm like my mind is spinning this like as you know I keep having this thing like she's not old enough yet."},{"startTime":2589.991,"endTime":2594.495,"body":"To do these things and I'm like that's not true like that's not true."},{"startTime":2595.257,"endTime":2605.046,"body":"I mean I will say she does say hi Moon every time she sees me food and I'm like yes but yeah that's it I'm inspired."},{"startTime":2605.511,"endTime":2613.751,"body":"Particular by the Moon Blood thing just because she's like learning about like owies and hurt and his mama heard his dad I heard and"},{"startTime":2613.676,"endTime":2622.672,"body":"we're also in the lead-up to potty training so she watches us go potty so sure and so when she sees my blood."},{"startTime":2623.272,"endTime":2629.091,"body":"I'm like this is Mama's blood and it doesn't hurt and isn't that so beautiful like."},{"startTime":2629.304,"endTime":2640.488,"body":"Doesn't hurt me and this will come out of you and see and my daughter you know now at seven she's like so excited for that time and like I've talked with her about."},{"startTime":2640.656,"endTime":2648.779,"body":"How when it comes for her will gather women clothes in our lives and will wear flower crowns and we'll light a fire and"},{"startTime":2648.677,"endTime":2661.625,"body":"it'll be a huge celebration and ceremony like I have dreams about that all the time oh my gosh me I'm too and she's so excited about it and my son to you know he,"},{"startTime":2661.667,"endTime":2666.189,"body":"yeah we're here I want to know how he feels and where he's at with us yeah so he."},{"startTime":2666.555,"endTime":2675.29,"body":"You know obviously like the excitement isn't so much like part of his experience but just the honoring like I can see."},{"startTime":2675.909,"endTime":2686.885,"body":"Like when he's holding that jar that he understands you know like he gets it and that's that's the huge thing like when you're saying she's not old enough like."},{"startTime":2687.549,"endTime":2694.708,"body":"I have found that kids my kids and other kids I know like they are so naturally."},{"startTime":2694.921,"endTime":2700.641,"body":"Aligned with ritual and Sacred Space like it just comes so."},{"startTime":2700.8,"endTime":2707.122,"body":"Naturally to them it's not this Mind Over thinking what is this is this real is this"},{"startTime":2706.966,"endTime":2723.47,"body":"crazy LOL a lots just like oh this is cool let's do it you know like curiosity openness like such and they've got it they've got it and so they just at least with my kids they'll just drop in you know and like it they don't have all these"},{"startTime":2723.432,"endTime":2726.702,"body":"barriers in front of them that so many of us do."},{"startTime":2727.366,"endTime":2736.983,"body":"Yeah the excitement over doing a ritual further like Menzies is I think for me it's rooted in like."},{"startTime":2737.889,"endTime":2752.359,"body":"My parents did the best they could but like not getting that met when I first started bleeding and I sort of had a stop start stop start experience it took a few years to really like be a bleeding person and."},{"startTime":2752.959,"endTime":2767.177,"body":"I actually did a ritual in Ireland with like a shamanic woman who we replayed it and I got to choose to strangers he's like sweet Northern Irish women to play my mother and my grandmother and I told him exactly what to say to me,"},{"startTime":2767.291,"endTime":2771.623,"body":"I have chill it was so beautiful with this like,"},{"startTime":2771.675,"endTime":2785.181,"body":"beautiful Irish accents which is part of my lineage and I asked my mom to say like I love you no matter what your body is sacred and I asked my grandmother to say like welcome to your the lineage of women and."},{"startTime":2785.322,"endTime":2789.331,"body":"This really beautiful I just came into my mind this idea of like."},{"startTime":2789.616,"endTime":2796.596,"body":"Retroactive Rites of Passage is really powerful and why do this Workshop I do called passage craft but,"},{"startTime":2796.611,"endTime":2808.416,"body":"oh I wanted to talk about another there's a there's a women's gathering in southern Oregon every year called Spirit Weaver's and I've gone a bunch and I went one year and I was asked to speak at the."},{"startTime":2808.863,"endTime":2812.233,"body":"I don't think it's called the moon maidens anymore the like."},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":2812.473,"endTime":2819.3,"body":"51."},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":2819.648,"endTime":2826.79,"body":"Range and they had like. Talk day and they wanted me to come and share about like my method of."},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":2827.03,"endTime":2829.823,"body":"Blood capture which is sea sponges."},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":2829.991,"endTime":2837.781,"body":"And talking about my rituals like giving my blood to the Earth and then I also was like giving tips on like getting blood out of clothes and,"},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":2837.805,"endTime":2848.611,"body":"we went around the circle and every little human shared their plan for when they get their period this was before Atlas was."},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":2849.319,"endTime":2856.416,"body":"Embodied and and we were all talking about like rituals and these young,"},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":2856.557,"endTime":2867.075,"body":"tweens were like I just don't want my mom to make a big deal about it whatever she does I just don't want her to make a big deal"},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":2866.982,"endTime":2873.079,"body":"I do want my sacred. Box in my locker and I want it to be beautiful,"},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":2873.103,"endTime":2887.033,"body":"that I want to paint flowers on it but don't you make a big deal it's like anyways I just think it's so cute and like how many of us could just like relate to that age and I yeah and I wonder about that with Matilda like."},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":2887.408,"endTime":2896.386,"body":"It could very well be the case that when she comes to her bleeding time she might totally go like Rogue Rebel and be like I want to use all the,"},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":2896.392,"endTime":2910.573,"body":"making synthetic tampons and I want to like just you know shit on all of this and like that's our journey if that's her dream probably full surrender I think that's like actually more common than we realized with"},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":2910.409,"endTime":2919.0,"body":"kids that are raised and kind of this way that we are breaking off is that there's not Rebellion time and like you know I."},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":2919.402,"endTime":2933.367,"body":"Prepare myself like maybe yeah she wants to do the flower crowns in the ceremony and the whole thing now but like who knows when she's you know eight to 12 or whenever it comes hopefully not as young as eight that's so wild that that happens but,"},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":2933.482,"endTime":2939.525,"body":"that was me yes I'm thinking wow yeah so whenever it comes you know."},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":2939.693,"endTime":2951.336,"body":"Meeting her where she is and like also being able to adjust my expectation to meet her where she is like I'm really preparing myself for that because."},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":2951.981,"endTime":2958.961,"body":"Things can change in the blink of an eye yeah yeah or it's like."},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":2959.399,"endTime":2968.224,"body":"Maybe it'll be a little later you know this one I was reading when a star Hawks books where she gave up."},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":2968.374,"endTime":2974.283,"body":"Ritual for I was like this is so cool and I don't know."},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":2974.478,"endTime":2987.714,"body":"I don't know any like modern kid who would say yes this but maybe but it was like you go to the beach and the community is tending the fire at the other end of the beach and it's just the me I could cry just saying this and it's just the mother and them."},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":2987.9,"endTime":2997.248,"body":"The daughter or the little human and they both take off running towards the fire and at some point the mother stops running,"},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":2997.326,"endTime":3005.107,"body":"I feel the SOB in my throat I have to and the the child runs on their own."},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":3005.77,"endTime":3015.783,"body":"Towards the fire towards the community that will celebrate her and then the mother walks alone and then the aunties come out and bring her to the fire wow."},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":3015.942,"endTime":3026.73,"body":"That would be good maybe Matilda will want that blessed be that she's yeah maybe so."},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":3027.249,"endTime":3031.132,"body":"Prayers up for that one."},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":3031.948,"endTime":3045.518,"body":"Right but surrender always surrender gosh yes yes wow that sounds incredible thank you for sharing yeah yeah I remember I mentioned it to her,"},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":3045.56,"endTime":3048.047,"body":"fellow Mama who's child"},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":3048.017,"endTime":3060.605,"body":"had gotten her period didn't want to make a big deal and then a year later cried to her mom was like actually I do want something and I told her this ceremony she told her daughter daughter was like no I want to be private I want it private so yeah okay"},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":3060.522,"endTime":3069.824,"body":"whatever you want I think they had a little ritual just the two of them so sweet but anyways yeah I so appreciate you sharing."},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":3070.442,"endTime":3078.241,"body":"Like the Practical like what you're literally doing because I think we could romanticize this and then like life gets in the way and it's like"},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":3078.211,"endTime":3085.262,"body":"oh yeah you know like we're not all living in the hot we're out on we're out on the Suburban town and like how can we"},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":3085.152,"endTime":3097.172,"body":"incorporate this yeah and and one other things like normalize this too is like there have been times when I've attempted to do a ritual or an offering or Moon Blood something with them"},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":3097.053,"endTime":3099.423,"body":"and they're not into it and I'm like"},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":3099.303,"endTime":3113.854,"body":"let me just take this video Smile guy you know it's and it just goes to shit and it's like everyone's over and it's like okay that bad is that we will move on with our day like it's not always."},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":3114.112,"endTime":3121.317,"body":"Yes they naturally drop in and they're so like intuitive with all of this and."},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":3121.62,"endTime":3129.446,"body":"Shit hit the fan sometimes and that's okay too and we just say okay not today we'll come back another time like it's,"},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":3129.569,"endTime":3137.53,"body":"you know another moment will roll around soon enough isn't that the lesson of motherhood yeah like just keep it moving."},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":3138.013,"endTime":3145.155,"body":"Everything is a season what did like the Click very classic but very deeply true"},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":3145.026,"endTime":3156.786,"body":"things about motherhood like it chained it gets it gets better but different like hmm like the days are long but the years though she's our short dots that feels true."},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":3156.963,"endTime":3165.545,"body":"That is so real yeah bus so the trip evening I know I just want to like hold every like."},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":3165.83,"endTime":3179.462,"body":"Fourth trimester mother in my arms and be like this will pass I know this one has and then you'll kind of miss it yeah one of my best friends just had a baby and I was literally texting her the other day I was like I remember feeling like."},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":3179.73,"endTime":3185.098,"body":"It was an eternity and it would never end and that newborn phases the."},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":3185.356,"endTime":3192.615,"body":"But it all changed you know like just trying to remember that it'll change yeah so huge,"},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":3192.729,"endTime":3202.382,"body":"yeah what is something you want to do like an idea or something I want to do more of with your children and like from this sacred magical living,"},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":3202.514,"endTime":3214.409,"body":"respective well with you speaking about Ireland reminded me so my mother lying is from Sicily and Northern Italy as well and so I would"},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":3214.316,"endTime":3223.826,"body":"to take them there and just like eat pasta and be in nature and like here music and"},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":3223.751,"endTime":3228.678,"body":"you know really connects with that that part of"},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":3228.675,"endTime":3241.389,"body":"of us you know so traveling there someday together would be huge and even more beautiful if like my mom and sisters could come to and make a whole thing of it and also."},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":3241.701,"endTime":3244.45,"body":"I'd love to do more,"},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":3244.492,"endTime":3256.243,"body":"like ancestral cooking with them and I know this is something that you're super well-versed in a lot of folks in your world so I definitely want to learn from you guys more about like"},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":3256.141,"endTime":3259.591,"body":"thick we cook a lot together but I'd love to."},{"speaker":"The girls and non-binary young ones who are in that sort of like 11","startTime":3260.282,"endTime":3268.963,"body":"We've more story into it or like this as you know my parents even made this amazing cookbook and my sister."},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3269.131,"endTime":3277.812,"body":"00 comes around"},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3277.782,"endTime":3292.036,"body":"I dot dot I don't really want to like watch you guys chop an onion for 15 minutes if I'm honest so,"},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3292.078,"endTime":3299.732,"body":"you're telling me Atlas cracking an egg for Sunday morning pancakes I might just give it to me fine"},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3299.685,"endTime":3307.619,"body":"so you can watch me do it totally and then like the shells are all in in it's just like a God we gotta start over."},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3307.778,"endTime":3317.719,"body":"But yeah so I I like to to find more patience with cooking and and we even more ancestral."},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3318.121,"endTime":3324.453,"body":"Ancestral I don't know what the term is like stories or just telling stories about"},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3324.288,"endTime":3335.877,"body":"you know they're super fortunate that they have three great grandparents living and all four grandparents living so telling stories of grandparents you know just like"},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3335.73,"endTime":3337.29,"body":"bringing more"},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3337.161,"endTime":3348.057,"body":"rituals yeah and sacred experience to cooking together specifically foods that come from our families feels like something I want to move towards,"},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3348.108,"endTime":3350.515,"body":"mmm me too."},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3350.872,"endTime":3359.084,"body":"It's how I think that's something it's hard I think it's definitely not weeknights you know but I think like take those off the table,"},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3359.217,"endTime":3373.398,"body":"I think there's something about like Sunday's that feel like that sacredness that slowness I mean I don't know how Sundays are for you but like there's something about energetically about it and then holidays there's this whole thing like"},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3373.323,"endTime":3377.863,"body":"personally we don't have like our family system that we,"},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3377.933,"endTime":3384.696,"body":"engage with on holidays don't have like tried-and-true traditions and so I've been in this whole mindset of like."},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3384.945,"endTime":3396.381,"body":"Well we can create our own traditions and it can be around ancestral Foods it could be around essential source and it could be creating new ancestral foods and new ancestral stories because."},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3396.576,"endTime":3409.848,"body":"Lake May our descendants tell the stories of our time and that we our ancestors to like that you know lik where the myth makers were writing the tales of History to come and so I think it can be."},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3410.368,"endTime":3415.484,"body":"Really beautiful frame to look at Ya those moments when it can be,"},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3415.58,"endTime":3427.043,"body":"even if it's like a five-minute story you know right after you talk about your day around the candlelight at dinner there's opportunities there absolutely yeah."},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3427.229,"endTime":3435.037,"body":"Hmm well thank you so much for this conversation yeah welcome I feel such kinship with you and."},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3435.592,"endTime":3445.533,"body":"They are like honestly I feel such support from you from you just telling your truth so important to share in this way"},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3445.432,"endTime":3451.862,"body":"Cleo yeah okay like let's tell the people where to go to get more via so,"},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3451.913,"endTime":3458.326,"body":"your podcast a wave away yeah I have a podcast a wave away its."},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3458.845,"endTime":3470.947,"body":"About so many things it's about Womanhood and motherhood somatic and spiritual healing plant medicine just like the journey of self awareness and self inquiry it's."},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3471.088,"endTime":3477.167,"body":"Becca has been on it as you mentioned earlier but yeah I've got that and then."},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3477.309,"endTime":3490.599,"body":"You can find everything that I do on my website we've really Davis.com and then I'm on Instagram at hey we really do this you can find all of my stuff there I do sound baths,"},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3490.668,"endTime":3494.371,"body":"primarily I'm just back to doing them in person again so."},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3494.566,"endTime":3504.795,"body":"And where are you located I'm in Central Virginia I do travel a little for those but I mostly do them around this area,"},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3504.9,"endTime":3507.811,"body":"and then I've started to actually"},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3507.772,"endTime":3520.054,"body":"assemble a collection of essays all about a lot of what we talked about today around motherhood around being a mother being a daughter my journey with that so I don't really know what that will"},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3519.979,"endTime":3529.966,"body":"come to me it's a very it's very new and I'm really just at the beginning of it but that feels really like"},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3529.864,"endTime":3535.367,"body":"I'm moving a lot towards that and really moving a lot towards"},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3535.31,"endTime":3547.502,"body":"just this this work of of the mother and what that means and how we can hold space for that yeah what does that mean I think it doesn't leave time to know that Ali is that me,"},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3547.589,"endTime":3555.19,"body":"well thank you for being here and exploring all of this with me thank you for having me backups been such a joy."},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3555.6,"endTime":3562.0,"body":"Music."},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3562.029,"endTime":3575.247,"body":"Thank you so much for joining me in a time when our attention is being pulled in so many different directions it means a lot that you took time out of your day to spend it with me and in these important conversations."},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3575.442,"endTime":3588.723,"body":"For show notes and links and more information about my guests you can head to belonging podcast.com and if you'd like to hear more from me and get access to my free newsletter called slow and seasonal,"},{"speaker":"How to print it out and made into these beautiful books so we have all the recipes but you know when when 5","startTime":3588.811,"endTime":3593.855,"body":"you can head to Becca piastrelli.com / subscribe."}]}