{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":0.0,"endTime":8.4,"body":"Music."},{"startTime":9.119,"endTime":15.348,"body":"This is Belonging, a podcast that explores being alive in the age of loneliness."},{"startTime":16.204,"endTime":29.158,"body":"I'm your host, Becca Piastrelli, a writer, mother, and community tender currently living on the ancestral lands of the Coast Miwok people in present-day Marin County, California."},{"startTime":30.742,"endTime":36.351,"body":"In this show, we explore topics like rites of passage, cultivating meaningful community,"},{"startTime":37.068,"endTime":41.959,"body":"seasonal and cyclical living, and what it means to be a good ancestor in these times."},{"startTime":43.148,"endTime":49.116,"body":"I have thought-provoking conversations with friends, teachers, elders, and ancestral medicine"},{"startTime":49.359,"endTime":53.626,"body":"keepers to help support you in bringing more meaning and connection to your life."},{"startTime":54.67,"endTime":59.248,"body":"I also pop in here and there to share updates and learnings from my own story, because we"},{"startTime":59.248,"endTime":64.168,"body":"We were meant to do this together, cosmically holding hands as we walk the spiral of life."},{"startTime":65.428,"endTime":71.793,"body":"You can expect to be challenged by new or old ideas. Face your beliefs and what systems informed them."},{"startTime":72.405,"endTime":77.748,"body":"Get curious and brave to tell the truth about the deeper, harder things and feel comforted"},{"startTime":77.748,"endTime":79.111,"body":"in the knowing that you don't have to navigate it all alone."},{"startTime":79.12,"endTime":88.24,"body":"Music."},{"startTime":88.528,"endTime":95.308,"body":"Hello and welcome back to Belonging the Podcast. It's Becca P. Estrella here. Thank you for joining"},{"startTime":95.308,"endTime":103.468,"body":"me, meeting you wherever you are in this moment, physically, emotionally, spiritually, the season"},{"startTime":103.468,"endTime":111.388,"body":"you're in internally, the season of the bio-region around you, bringing you a deeply important"},{"startTime":111.388,"endTime":116.156,"body":"conversation to me with a really cool human, Hannah Husband."},{"startTime":116.548,"endTime":122.376,"body":"So Hannah is a body liberation coach committed to supporting folks who feel left out of or harmed"},{"startTime":122.468,"endTime":125.878,"body":"by mainstream fitness offerings. My hand is raised."},{"startTime":126.108,"endTime":130.388,"body":"One of those people, she is deeply passionate about reclaiming movement as a way"},{"startTime":130.388,"endTime":136.068,"body":"to help regulate our nervous systems, put self-love into practice, the real kind,"},{"startTime":136.068,"endTime":140.66,"body":"not the marketed kind, and cultivate an internal feeling of power and strength."},{"startTime":141.47,"endTime":149.48,"body":"So something I really appreciate about Hannah is that she has a background in the science of"},{"startTime":149.48,"endTime":157.044,"body":"body movement as a personal trainer and a Pilates coach and also doesn't hold a anti-fat bias,"},{"startTime":157.143,"endTime":163.526,"body":"is really deeply inclusive, trauma-informed understanding of all experiences of bodies"},{"startTime":163.652,"endTime":171.48,"body":"in this society, in this culture that really is designed to see the body as something to be"},{"startTime":171.48,"endTime":177.88,"body":"subjugated or dominated or controlled. And even in the pretty packaging of our times."},{"startTime":179.0,"endTime":184.76,"body":"Even in wellness, you know, so-called wellness industries, that's still what it is, is something"},{"startTime":184.76,"endTime":190.52,"body":"to be controlled. And so having had my own journey with all of that, Hannah is really about partnering"},{"startTime":190.52,"endTime":197.914,"body":"with being in relationship with your body and seeing it as an ecosystem and then seeing movement as ritual."},{"startTime":198.16,"endTime":203.82,"body":"So this conversation is a discussion of our relationships with bodies and movement and"},{"startTime":203.82,"endTime":209.64,"body":"channeling the childlike curiosity that is like all of our beginnings of being in our"},{"startTime":209.64,"endTime":215.766,"body":"bodies of life is that childlike wonder around what our bodies can do and how it feels."},{"startTime":216.1,"endTime":221.7,"body":"So we unpack how diet culture and the wellness industry disguise anti-fat bias as concern for health,"},{"startTime":221.7,"endTime":226.244,"body":"as well as how we often outsource our connection with our bodies."},{"startTime":227.06,"endTime":231.74,"body":"I really appreciate how encouraging Hannah is and how solution-oriented she is"},{"startTime":231.74,"endTime":238.62,"body":"while also holding space for the deeper grief and frustration and confusion that comes around bodies"},{"startTime":238.62,"endTime":242.86,"body":"and movement and health and food and all of those things."},{"startTime":242.86,"endTime":250.28,"body":"So I really appreciate having this chat and I really invite you into this like virtual tea parlor"},{"startTime":250.28,"endTime":257.12,"body":"that we're in to join us and deepen into your experience of bodies as ecosystems."},{"startTime":257.12,"endTime":262.06,"body":"So here's my conversation with Hannah Husband. Thanks for watching!"},{"startTime":263.811,"endTime":271.391,"body":"Okay, Hannah husband, welcome to belonging. I'm so happy you're here."},{"startTime":271.391,"endTime":279.631,"body":"I'm so excited to talk about our bodies and movement and really appreciate your perspective"},{"startTime":279.631,"endTime":282.151,"body":"that you take on all of it."},{"startTime":282.151,"endTime":286.591,"body":"So welcome, welcome to the show. Thank you so much for having me."},{"startTime":286.591,"endTime":292.384,"body":"I'm super excited to be here. So I always like to tell people about how I know people"},{"startTime":292.511,"endTime":298.151,"body":"because it's like, this is how community happens. So we met many moons ago. Yeah."},{"startTime":299.711,"endTime":304.271,"body":"Long time ago through mutual friend. And I guess like, thank you internet,"},{"startTime":304.271,"endTime":309.416,"body":"like sort of stayed in contact and then came back together in a community"},{"startTime":309.711,"endTime":311.591,"body":"I used to hold called Hearthfire"},{"startTime":311.591,"endTime":313.711,"body":"and then all the cool stuff."},{"startTime":313.711,"endTime":323.591,"body":"And then you just came to the Rooted Magic Retreat January and did a winter embodiment movement practice with us in a yurt in the woods while"},{"startTime":323.591,"endTime":327.711,"body":"the rain came down and you wore velvet activewear?"},{"startTime":328.24,"endTime":334.831,"body":"Yes. Yes, I did. And I was like, excuse you. And you had a snake necklace."},{"startTime":334.831,"endTime":343.652,"body":"And I was like, this is so great. And yeah, as someone who's really come back into movement postpartum and trying to really"},{"startTime":343.751,"endTime":346.884,"body":"reframe and reshape my relationship to it."},{"startTime":346.991,"endTime":351.412,"body":"And having had that experience with you, that embodied in-person experience with you,"},{"startTime":351.511,"endTime":352.951,"body":"I know I was excited to chat more."},{"startTime":352.951,"endTime":357.951,"body":"So I would love to hear about your relationship to movement,"},{"startTime":358.351,"endTime":364.551,"body":"whatever comes through in this moment, particularly because I know that's shifted over time."},{"startTime":365.591,"endTime":371.511,"body":"Yeah. Immediately when you asked that, my brain was like, do you want the journey or the now?"},{"startTime":371.511,"endTime":382.591,"body":"Both, please. We all want a journey story. Yes. Yeah. Well, and it's interesting because I feel like I've been getting more clarity"},{"startTime":382.83,"endTime":388.871,"body":"about what's actually secretly been consistent the whole time, even though I've moved through"},{"startTime":388.871,"endTime":398.251,"body":"these different phases. So in the now, my relationship to movement is very playful and"},{"startTime":398.557,"endTime":404.211,"body":"probably the most unstructured that it's been since I started being in relationship"},{"startTime":404.211,"endTime":411.574,"body":"with movement, choicefully as an adult. And I'm really prioritizing movement as sort,"},{"startTime":412.051,"endTime":418.771,"body":"of like for mental health and for feeling like myself. I think that's the biggest"},{"startTime":418.771,"endTime":427.411,"body":"thing. Like I feel the most grounded and also the most like large. Like I feel like I'm"},{"startTime":427.411,"endTime":433.691,"body":"fully inhabiting my body in a way that feels really resourcing and supportive to anything"},{"startTime":433.691,"endTime":441.611,"body":"else that I want to do in my life, be in relationship, make things, etc. When I'm moving enough."},{"startTime":442.983,"endTime":450.753,"body":"And regularly. If it goes too long in between, things start to get a little small and shaky,"},{"startTime":450.753,"endTime":457.953,"body":"and the brain weasels just are like, woo. So that's the now. Yeah, it's totally been a journey."},{"startTime":459.709,"endTime":466.191,"body":"I loved being physical as a little kid, but mostly in solo play. I grew up in Mill Valley"},{"startTime":466.353,"endTime":474.993,"body":"for like age four through seven. I didn't know that. You grew up in Mill Valley, California."},{"startTime":474.993,"endTime":480.353,"body":"I used to go to after-school daycare at Old Mill Park and get to climb on the redwoods and stuff."},{"startTime":481.36,"endTime":484.913,"body":"I used to live right there for people who are like, where is this place? It's a very"},{"startTime":484.913,"endTime":490.193,"body":"magical place just north of San Francisco that I used to live in redwood trees and"},{"startTime":490.193,"endTime":494.833,"body":"mountains streams and all the things. Yeah. I was definitely one of those kids where we"},{"startTime":494.833,"endTime":501.793,"body":"didn't have a TV growing up, so if I was looking for entertainment, I would go outside and figure"},{"startTime":501.793,"endTime":507.953,"body":"out something to do. And this is the thing about humans. We naturally find movement games,"},{"startTime":508.513,"endTime":515.953,"body":"and there's a lot of reward pathways built into our neurology and biology when we engage in movement"},{"startTime":515.953,"endTime":522.673,"body":"games that are pleasurable, maintain the mechanical health of our bits, and do very helpful things for"},{"startTime":522.673,"endTime":527.393,"body":"our like neural circuitry. We should pin that for later. I'm interested in like, how do we"},{"startTime":527.393,"endTime":534.833,"body":"leverage that as adults to bring back not the like crossfit gamification where we're making"},{"startTime":534.833,"endTime":542.513,"body":"everything into a competitive sport, but the like playful infinite game. Like you lose and you play"},{"startTime":542.513,"endTime":549.073,"body":"again because it was so fun. Right? I really see that with my two and a half year old."},{"startTime":550.047,"endTime":556.853,"body":"Where I sometimes get into my head around mom guilt and what should I be doing with her"},{"startTime":556.853,"endTime":560.742,"body":"to be being the best possible parenting possible."},{"startTime":560.893,"endTime":567.097,"body":"But for instance, this past weekend, Tim, my partner, is laid up in bed after ACL knee surgery."},{"startTime":567.333,"endTime":573.033,"body":"I'm weaning and borderline depressed and low energy, day 35 of my cycle."},{"startTime":573.033,"endTime":574.956,"body":"Will she ever bleed? Who knows?"},{"startTime":575.053,"endTime":577.441,"body":"And I'm sitting."},{"startTime":577.573,"endTime":583.13,"body":"I'm couch sitting with my two and a half year old trying not to turn on the TV and she..."},{"startTime":584.022,"endTime":589.552,"body":"Is moving and creating little games. And I just, I found myself in awe."},{"startTime":589.552,"endTime":595.272,"body":"And I'm also in awe that you're bringing it up from the jump here because it hit me really deeply,"},{"startTime":595.427,"endTime":598.992,"body":"particularly because I feel so sedentary and the mind weasels are very much present."},{"startTime":598.992,"endTime":607.192,"body":"Like watching my child create, play for herself alone with her body."},{"startTime":607.192,"endTime":616.512,"body":"Like she learned to jump and twirl her body so she can jump, turn and land in another position and she's just like, watch me do that."},{"startTime":616.512,"endTime":618.851,"body":"Yeah. Wow, wow, wow."},{"startTime":619.22,"endTime":623.952,"body":"Or like she realized that she could press her face to the glass of our window"},{"startTime":624.082,"endTime":630.272,"body":"and then move her nose would smoosh around and she can move her head from back to forth."},{"startTime":631.072,"endTime":634.461,"body":"And then she can look and then she can be like, look at my nose."},{"startTime":634.623,"endTime":639.552,"body":"So I spend time talking about that to just really land that plane of like, it's so innate."},{"startTime":639.552,"endTime":645.872,"body":"Yes. And I wish for it back as someone who did the CrossFit competitive thing for many years."},{"startTime":646.587,"endTime":655.232,"body":"I feel a wish for that. So thank you for naming that. Yeah, no, I mean, I literally brought this up in the first session of my new program,"},{"startTime":655.232,"endTime":660.992,"body":"Seedling Strength that I'm running the beta for right now. Like I was like, if we can harness"},{"startTime":660.992,"endTime":667.152,"body":"sort of channel our inner like two to three year old, who's kind of like just figuring out their"},{"startTime":667.152,"endTime":672.964,"body":"body doesn't have any expectations but it's sort of like what is the shoulder thing do like can it"},{"startTime":673.232,"endTime":679.149,"body":"do this can it do that oh how do i get up on the couch can i get there just using my hands what if"},{"startTime":679.312,"endTime":687.952,"body":"i use my knees like there's so much playful curiosity as children of that age discover their"},{"startTime":687.952,"endTime":690.347,"body":"bodies and in turn discover the world."},{"startTime":691.878,"endTime":697.888,"body":"And they fail, right? It doesn't work what they're trying to do sometimes, or sometimes it fails"},{"startTime":697.888,"endTime":701.328,"body":"painfully, like they'll bonk their head or whatever. But you never see them go,"},{"startTime":701.328,"endTime":705.568,"body":"oh, stupid body, why can't you do the thing? They're just like, oh, that didn't work,"},{"startTime":705.568,"endTime":709.168,"body":"let's try something else. Or they're like, oh, that hurt, I need comfort now. And then they go"},{"startTime":709.168,"endTime":717.888,"body":"get it. And I feel like if we as adults can harness that and channel it and reclaim it for ourselves"},{"startTime":717.888,"endTime":723.728,"body":"as a way to explore movement of any kind, whatever kind of movement you want to do."},{"startTime":724.709,"endTime":731.008,"body":"Just have that kind of like curious, like, what does my hip do in this situation? What does my"},{"startTime":731.008,"endTime":735.476,"body":"ankle do when I'm running? Oh, it doesn't like that. Okay, interesting. Right. And then we get"},{"startTime":735.728,"endTime":742.608,"body":"into this place of like, it's all information, pain, soreness, not soreness, whether something"},{"startTime":742.608,"endTime":748.916,"body":"feels intense and hard or not? Can that just all be useful information? And can we skip the part"},{"startTime":749.168,"endTime":754.245,"body":"where we start making a story about what that means about us as like capable adult humans?"},{"startTime":754.516,"endTime":761.648,"body":"Okay, but that's like hard. Oh, yeah, that's like really hard. Okay, as someone, I think we're just"},{"startTime":761.648,"endTime":771.008,"body":"diving in. As someone who I think a lot of it is based on like, so much. I mean, being a product of"},{"startTime":771.008,"endTime":775.464,"body":"of the 2000s where like just the media that was hitting,"},{"startTime":776.208,"endTime":778.608,"body":"my consciousness, my subconsciousness, right?"},{"startTime":778.93,"endTime":783.928,"body":"Just like the media around body size. And then now I just find like on like TikTok,"},{"startTime":783.928,"endTime":789.928,"body":"like my For You page is very much algorithmically for like bounce back bodies for moms."},{"startTime":789.928,"endTime":794.143,"body":"And I can even like mute that stuff and get away from that stuff."},{"startTime":794.248,"endTime":800.028,"body":"But it's like so programmed from our culture, from like diet culture and like the fitness,"},{"startTime":800.028,"endTime":806.333,"body":"industrial complex, all these things that I love when you talk about intuitively, playfully"},{"startTime":806.522,"endTime":808.637,"body":"engaging with your body. I'm just like."},{"startTime":810.366,"endTime":815.256,"body":"That feels like a mountain of unlearning. I'm down for it. And I also want to name that it feels like"},{"startTime":815.256,"endTime":823.016,"body":"a mountain of unlearning. And we need spaces for all that grief and that shame and whatever that"},{"startTime":823.016,"endTime":829.656,"body":"comes up from being the products of the culture we're in. For sure. I appreciate you naming that."},{"startTime":829.656,"endTime":836.616,"body":"And I don't mean to imply that it's like an easy swap in any way. I'm just pretty sure"},{"startTime":836.616,"endTime":842.256,"body":"that's the jam. Yeah, it is, isn't it? And especially because we have the template of"},{"startTime":842.256,"endTime":846.856,"body":"youngsters, right? We sort of can have this snapshot of like, oh, this is possible as a"},{"startTime":846.856,"endTime":854.176,"body":"human to relate to my own body in this way. But somewhere along the way, right, cultural"},{"startTime":854.176,"endTime":859.056,"body":"programming that gets stripped away from us and we learn all these other ways of relating to our"},{"startTime":859.056,"endTime":864.576,"body":"bodies instead. But it helps me, especially on the hard days, to be like, okay, once upon a time,"},{"startTime":864.576,"endTime":873.416,"body":"I knew how to relate to my body in a curious and non-judgmental way. I had that. I was born with"},{"startTime":873.416,"endTime":881.176,"body":"that. That's not something I have to go out and buy. I might need support to unearth it and to"},{"startTime":881.33,"endTime":887.596,"body":"melt away all the sludge and pick out all the knits that are stuck in my fabric now and take,"},{"startTime":888.256,"endTime":894.256,"body":"off the what's the thing straight jacket like has felt like the right thing to do like I"},{"startTime":894.256,"endTime":897.084,"body":"I think that's one of the biggest tragedies of the way that."},{"startTime":898.084,"endTime":904.16,"body":"We've been raised to relate to our bodies is that the overarching theme is like you need external."},{"startTime":904.745,"endTime":908.31,"body":"Guidance and you need to control this thing called your body."},{"startTime":909.139,"endTime":918.51,"body":"You can't trust it's wisdom you can't trust it's impulses. Right and this shit is deep this goes back to like."},{"startTime":919.491,"endTime":923.587,"body":"You know all the way back i'm thinking about book caliban and the witch."},{"startTime":924.055,"endTime":929.974,"body":"I forget the years and era at this point, but like, sort of in that conversion time"},{"startTime":929.974,"endTime":936.892,"body":"into the beginnings of capitalism and into like the beginnings of really widespread Christianity,"},{"startTime":937.454,"endTime":942.374,"body":"that this idea that the body was separate from the mind and should be subjugated to"},{"startTime":942.374,"endTime":950.094,"body":"the mind. There we have it. There it is being a jerk. Yeah, I sort of cut you off when we"},{"startTime":950.094,"endTime":956.814,"body":"started talking about playful children bodies, but you have a background in the fitness industry,"},{"startTime":956.814,"endTime":962.495,"body":"you're Pilates teacher, you're a personal trainer. So like you get it. Like you get the whole thing."},{"startTime":962.711,"endTime":967.854,"body":"Right. So I was this playful, free-spirited child who wore like fairy dresses to kindergarten"},{"startTime":967.854,"endTime":975.494,"body":"and like entertain myself by playing in nature. And then I tried soccer when I was like six"},{"startTime":975.494,"endTime":980.374,"body":"and I liked it until we had a game. And then the parents on the sidelines shouting and the"},{"startTime":980.436,"endTime":986.854,"body":"competitive energy to win. I hated it. I left the field crying. I was like, I don't want to play"},{"startTime":986.854,"endTime":991.174,"body":"soccer anymore. And luckily, my mom was like, okay, you can trust yourself. You don't have to."},{"startTime":992.157,"endTime":997.894,"body":"So I didn't get into sports. I wasn't particularly athletically coordinated as a kid growing up."},{"startTime":998.63,"endTime":1005.274,"body":"I got into theater in middle school and then that took over my life for like high school and college."},{"startTime":1006.426,"endTime":1010.648,"body":"And then through theater i started to access some physical pathways of learning so like."},{"startTime":1011.503,"endTime":1016.428,"body":"You know we like movement improv and i got really into stage combat."},{"startTime":1017.04,"endTime":1023.485,"body":"So like learning how to do fake falls and punches and slaps and eventually like sword fight choreography and that kind of stuff."},{"startTime":1023.944,"endTime":1030.678,"body":"So cool it was super fun and that's actually what first ping that maybe you could do like."},{"startTime":1031.173,"endTime":1044.983,"body":"Personal training or like group fitness as like a day job right that was kind of how it started for me and so like twenty ten i think i first got certified as a personal trainer but i've been working at a gym."},{"startTime":1046.621,"endTime":1057.352,"body":"Before that i did like the front desk things i can get a free membership and then i graduated to being the like manager on duty slash membership salesperson that gives you the tour of the gym."},{"startTime":1057.811,"endTime":1065.724,"body":"And then follows up with you forever if you don't join i was that person for a while but that was sort of the beginning of me."},{"startTime":1066.273,"endTime":1072.719,"body":"Getting to have a seat where a lot of people would tell me about their relationship to fitness and."},{"startTime":1073.394,"endTime":1079.677,"body":"By extension to their bodies. So that was from like 2008 basically. I got to like."},{"startTime":1080.794,"endTime":1102.244,"body":"Sit and listen to a lot of people going through this cycle. And at that time, I was super into like taking group fitness classes. I loved taking pilates. I loved taking the sort of like strong women weightlifting classes, but like, maybe you'd get eight pound dumbbells if you were working on the heavier side, right?"},{"startTime":1102.696,"endTime":1106.99,"body":"Was that kind of thing. And then so I did my personal training certification, got to."},{"startTime":1108.124,"endTime":1112.544,"body":"Start working with clients right away, which was awesome. At that time, I was definitely"},{"startTime":1112.544,"endTime":1118.045,"body":"still in the it's what I call like wellness version of diet culture, where you're like,"},{"startTime":1118.424,"endTime":1124.024,"body":"you still believe that being quote unquote overweight is unhealthy. This was the big"},{"startTime":1124.024,"endTime":1129.664,"body":"swap we were like, Oh, focus on fat loss, don't focus on weight loss. And it was very"},{"startTime":1129.664,"endTime":1136.864,"body":"that era of like, you know, you're going to lean out, you're going to build lean muscle,"},{"startTime":1136.864,"endTime":1141.757,"body":"you're maybe not going to lose weight on the scale, and you shouldn't be doing crazy restrictive"},{"startTime":1142.063,"endTime":1148.264,"body":"diets, but like, you should definitely track your macros. It was still very outside in and control"},{"startTime":1148.264,"endTime":1154.664,"body":"based, right? But it was the slightly, well, we thought we were very much superior to the like"},{"startTime":1154.909,"endTime":1161.624,"body":"dieting and endless cardio sort of vibe that had preceded us. But now I'm like, oh no,"},{"startTime":1161.624,"endTime":1164.821,"body":"we were doing like the current flavor of diet culture basically."},{"startTime":1165.514,"endTime":1170.864,"body":"Yeah, which I think I've actually been tracking that it seems like right now it's gut health."},{"startTime":1170.864,"endTime":1178.664,"body":"As masquerading as diet culture, fat loss still, as someone who's like diet culture is coming at"},{"startTime":1178.664,"endTime":1186.344,"body":"Yeah, gut health, healthy gut. I'm like, what do you mean by that when you say that? Because"},{"startTime":1186.344,"endTime":1191.664,"body":"it kind of seems like you mean a diet, but it's a tricky, tricky thing."},{"startTime":1191.954,"endTime":1194.944,"body":"And it's doubly complex because..."},{"startTime":1195.852,"endTime":1219.348,"body":"The further i get in my like anti diet culture journey and also with my scientific knowledge cuz like i eventually did a nutrition coaching certification and certified in platties matt and then reformer and then did a kettlebell certification and tear x you know i like learned all these modalities and baked into them. Is so much of this."},{"startTime":1220.185,"endTime":1223.422,"body":"Well, really it's anti-fat bias, right?"},{"startTime":1224.407,"endTime":1231.162,"body":"And now as I get further away from it, there are some like useful nuggets in many of these"},{"startTime":1231.162,"endTime":1234.732,"body":"things that are scientifically sound."},{"startTime":1235.062,"endTime":1240.262,"body":"And then it's almost like they sort of just like put a candy coating on it of like, and"},{"startTime":1240.262,"endTime":1242.898,"body":"also this will help you look slim."},{"startTime":1243.062,"endTime":1244.527,"body":"This will help you lose weight."},{"startTime":1245.067,"endTime":1251.122,"body":"I think because there's this idea that you can only sell fitness products or nutrition"},{"startTime":1251.122,"endTime":1258.702,"body":"products if they also promise weight loss, but it's then really hard to discern, especially"},{"startTime":1258.702,"endTime":1263.182,"body":"if you actually manage to step outside of diet culture and be like, nope, not riding"},{"startTime":1263.182,"endTime":1269.222,"body":"that ride anymore. But I kind of want to know what foods will make my gut happy. It's very"},{"startTime":1269.222,"endTime":1277.622,"body":"hard to sift through what's out there and like discern what's useful information versus"},{"startTime":1277.622,"endTime":1280.572,"body":"what's another helping of diet culture."},{"startTime":1281.062,"endTime":1287.666,"body":"I certainly feel that way. I certainly like in my own journey with my body."},{"startTime":1289.196,"endTime":1296.166,"body":"That I'm still working on being fully embracing of and loving of at any size."},{"startTime":1296.166,"endTime":1304.006,"body":"And certainly pushing a baby out of it helped me be like, thank you so much for doing that. You're amazing."},{"startTime":1304.006,"endTime":1310.006,"body":"And understanding as someone who had quite the dance with an eating disorder in college"},{"startTime":1310.171,"endTime":1317.446,"body":"to be like, oh, I do see how diet culture is a no-win game and how much"},{"startTime":1317.446,"endTime":1324.326,"body":"it can be harmful, especially to brains like mine who have had that experience. I find myself"},{"startTime":1324.326,"endTime":1329.846,"body":"feeling confused about what health is. I find myself feeling confused about what I should be"},{"startTime":1329.846,"endTime":1338.326,"body":"striving for and honestly, how much to push myself. Even this term push myself, I feel confused about."},{"startTime":1338.326,"endTime":1345.686,"body":"So I love that at the top of this episode, you talked about moving makes me feel good and it's"},{"startTime":1345.686,"endTime":1347.726,"body":"about mental health and like I can feel it."},{"startTime":1348.008,"endTime":1357.286,"body":"And that's been a whole thing of like basing my health, like what I eat, how I rest, how I move,"},{"startTime":1357.286,"endTime":1361.025,"body":"when I move, all of that on like an internal,"},{"startTime":1361.538,"endTime":1367.986,"body":"and highly refined understanding that I can trust of being like, quote, good for me."},{"startTime":1369.006,"endTime":1373.686,"body":"I would love any feedback on that because especially as someone who's had a baby,"},{"startTime":1373.686,"endTime":1376.766,"body":"My body is different now in so many ways."},{"startTime":1376.815,"endTime":1383.646,"body":"How it looks, how it operates, like what hurts, how it digests, there's so much that's changed."},{"startTime":1383.646,"endTime":1388.041,"body":"And I'm all about embracing the change. And then I'm like, but what needs to be helped,"},{"startTime":1388.509,"endTime":1392.866,"body":"or fixed in some way? And that's where I find I leave,"},{"startTime":1392.983,"endTime":1395.585,"body":"I leave that sort of intuitive connection."},{"startTime":1396.017,"endTime":1399.246,"body":"Cause I hear you're saying, you're like, there's some helpful stuff from all these modalities."},{"startTime":1399.246,"endTime":1405.299,"body":"And then, and I find that I go out into the world looking for help and then I'm like, oh, I'm so confused."},{"startTime":1406.766,"endTime":1411.807,"body":"We have to remember that the mission of the things that are available for free is not benign. The,"},{"startTime":1412.376,"endTime":1416.616,"body":"things that are available for free are largely marketing and ultimately they want you to buy a"},{"startTime":1416.616,"endTime":1422.776,"body":"thing. And many people, especially on the internet, have been trained to like scratch the pain points"},{"startTime":1422.776,"endTime":1427.896,"body":"and make you feel like you don't know the right thing and so you need their expertise and so you"},{"startTime":1427.896,"endTime":1434.216,"body":"have to buy this thing. You know, the psychology of that has been well studied and well circulated"},{"startTime":1434.216,"endTime":1443.045,"body":"and so it works and it's constantly undermining us. So that's real. So I actually just talked about"},{"startTime":1443.162,"endTime":1450.696,"body":"this exact thing in one of our community circle calls in the body liberation playground. One of the,"},{"startTime":1452.696,"endTime":1463.096,"body":"sneakiest and most insidious messages of diet culture is that the body is a project that"},{"startTime":1463.096,"endTime":1469.944,"body":"will constantly need to be worked on. And that if you're not striving in some way for like better"},{"startTime":1470.256,"endTime":1480.796,"body":"health or insert goal here, right, you're not okay. And I think in fitness, this is even turned up"},{"startTime":1480.796,"endTime":1486.916,"body":"even more, right? We're sort of inundated with this sense that we aren't at the quote, minimum"},{"startTime":1486.916,"endTime":1491.876,"body":"fitness level. It's like, what is that minimum fitness level and where did it come from?"},{"startTime":1493.422,"endTime":1499.396,"body":"My personal thing is like, if you are able to check in with yourself and your body,"},{"startTime":1500.768,"endTime":1505.156,"body":"and check in with your life and define what's important to you in your life,"},{"startTime":1506.349,"endTime":1514.756,"body":"if your current body and its physical capabilities are allowing you, are like supporting you to"},{"startTime":1514.756,"endTime":1521.156,"body":"engage in your life in the ways that feel juiciest to you, and you're able to do the things that are"},{"startTime":1521.156,"endTime":1526.262,"body":"most important, and you're able to weave what's there for you to weave in the world, you're fine."},{"startTime":1526.523,"endTime":1532.596,"body":"You don't need to achieve anything different from your body. If that's not true, if you're like,"},{"startTime":1533.396,"endTime":1538.436,"body":"I wish I didn't feel so taxed going down the stairs with groceries. Oh, I really want to"},{"startTime":1538.436,"endTime":1543.396,"body":"get into rock climbing, but I feel like I don't have the upper body strength. Or my back just"},{"startTime":1543.396,"endTime":1548.436,"body":"kind of aches all the time. Like then, okay, there's some indications that your current"},{"startTime":1548.436,"endTime":1555.796,"body":"physical capacity isn't supporting your life as much as we'd like it to. And then we can get into"},{"startTime":1555.796,"endTime":1561.876,"body":"what are the actual evidence-based tools that expand physical capacity. But I think it's"},{"startTime":1561.876,"endTime":1572.588,"body":"important that we spend some time working with that not enough or I should be better feeling and investigating."},{"startTime":1573.704,"endTime":1579.874,"body":"Where that's coming from and what the sort of sparkly and or nebulous goal that you're moving"},{"startTime":1579.874,"endTime":1584.274,"body":"towards like where does that come from? Is that you? Or is that something that's just been like,"},{"startTime":1585.119,"endTime":1591.234,"body":"that's just seeped in from the culture? Would you be game to like, engage with this question?"},{"startTime":1591.234,"endTime":1599.714,"body":"Coach me. Okay, cool. So when you think about your like day to day life, the things that bring you joy,"},{"startTime":1599.714,"endTime":1606.114,"body":"the things that are important to you. How does it feel moving through your current life in your"},{"startTime":1606.114,"endTime":1613.234,"body":"current body? Are there places where you notice that you wish you had different capacity?"},{"startTime":1615.474,"endTime":1623.154,"body":"Yeah, I feel like weakness in my knees, like an instability in my knees and sometimes a pain,"},{"startTime":1623.154,"endTime":1630.114,"body":"and achy pain. I'm still rebuilding my core after growing a human behind it."},{"startTime":1631.084,"endTime":1634.914,"body":"I want to pause you there because that's another one that we're sort of handed. Oh, after birth,"},{"startTime":1634.914,"endTime":1639.314,"body":"you're going to have to rebuild your core. Check in with your feelings. Like where are the places"},{"startTime":1639.314,"endTime":1648.274,"body":"that you feel, oh, this area, this midsection, this back, what are the sensations? What's the"},{"startTime":1648.274,"endTime":1653.314,"body":"like lived experience that tells you that that needs to be a priority for you?"},{"startTime":1654.922,"endTime":1660.594,"body":"Lower back pain, particularly when I pick up my child, my 30 pound child."},{"startTime":1661.314,"endTime":1669.314,"body":"Yeah, they just keep getting heavier. Yeah, I literally feel my stomach area give out"},{"startTime":1669.452,"endTime":1673.554,"body":"where I used to be able to brace and sort of like hold. It's like waivers."},{"startTime":1673.554,"endTime":1681.954,"body":"And then, yeah, the knees feel similarly. When I'm holding her or when I'm climbing up a hill or"},{"startTime":1681.954,"endTime":1689.114,"body":"stairs, I live on a hill with stairs, I feel that sort of like weakness and I do assign it to that"},{"startTime":1689.114,"endTime":1701.074,"body":"part of my body. And then my pelvic floor is weak when I sneeze, dot, dot, dot. That is just true."},{"startTime":1701.074,"endTime":1709.714,"body":"Yeah, so like I get out of breath when I go up hills or stairs more easily than I used to and"},{"startTime":1709.714,"endTime":1717.594,"body":"that doesn't feel good. My heart like beats harder in my chest and I feel a little lightheaded and I"},{"startTime":1717.594,"endTime":1719.235,"body":"I don't want to feel that way. Yeah."},{"startTime":1720.459,"endTime":1728.709,"body":"Okay, this is beautiful. So let me say back to what I heard. And I also just want to highlight,"},{"startTime":1728.984,"endTime":1735.097,"body":"underline and throw glitter on the way you described the experiences that relate to core"},{"startTime":1735.389,"endTime":1743.577,"body":"strength, that thing that you initially named. That level of specificity for me is like, oh,"},{"startTime":1743.712,"endTime":1748.669,"body":"okay, great. Now I know what we need to work on. Core strength is like a huge category,"},{"startTime":1748.669,"endTime":1757.369,"body":"right? You're talking about intra-abdominal pressure, right? The sort of ability to trap"},{"startTime":1757.62,"endTime":1763.249,"body":"air and create almost like a tire, right? If you think of a tire on a car, what actually"},{"startTime":1763.472,"endTime":1768.689,"body":"creates the integrity of the tire is that it's filled with the right amount of air. We think"},{"startTime":1768.689,"endTime":1772.929,"body":"of core strength as like, oh, I got to get my muscles. But the muscles are actually the walls"},{"startTime":1772.929,"endTime":1778.409,"body":"of the tire. So like, yes, if you do crunches or things that stimulate the obliques or the"},{"startTime":1778.409,"endTime":1783.409,"body":"rectus abdominis, you're sort of thickening the walls of the tire. But if you're not able to"},{"startTime":1783.409,"endTime":1788.009,"body":"maintain the right internal pressure, you're still not going to go very far in your car."},{"startTime":1790.55,"endTime":1795.169,"body":"And that's also a great example of like, if you go to a trainer who isn't very inquisitive,"},{"startTime":1795.169,"endTime":1800.569,"body":"and you say, I think I need core strength, and they like make you do, you know, typical core"},{"startTime":1800.569,"endTime":1808.249,"body":"muscle exercises, they don't address the intra abdominal pressure piece, you're still gonna have"},{"startTime":1808.249,"endTime":1813.129,"body":"potentially incontinence issues, you're still going to have low back pain, the intervention"},{"startTime":1813.129,"endTime":1818.689,"body":"won't eliminate a lot of the things that are actually impeding your enjoyment of your life."},{"startTime":1819.331,"endTime":1826.089,"body":"And so this is where I think it's so valuable to tune into, okay, what are my lived experiences? What are the sensations? What's the"},{"startTime":1826.163,"endTime":1830.409,"body":"information that I'm getting from my body."},{"startTime":1830.098,"endTime":1834.988,"body":"And then like you described going uphill and feeling winded and you were like, it doesn't feel good."},{"startTime":1836.237,"endTime":1839.628,"body":"That's enough, right? We don't have to go further than that and say,"},{"startTime":1839.766,"endTime":1844.428,"body":"oh, well, it probably means your heart health isn't. And maybe you should have better stamina."},{"startTime":1844.428,"endTime":1847.068,"body":"Like there's so many things we've been taught to paste on top of that."},{"startTime":1847.742,"endTime":1853.548,"body":"It's enough to be like, I don't like to feel this way. Great. You should have every right to like,"},{"startTime":1854.188,"endTime":1859.708,"body":"shift that part of your capacity so that you get to feel confident so you can carry on that"},{"startTime":1859.796,"endTime":1863.712,"body":"conversation as you're going for a hike or whatever facet of that is important to you."},{"startTime":1864.216,"endTime":1870.108,"body":"I feel like it's important that we name that like some folks with different ability levels or"},{"startTime":1870.108,"endTime":1878.188,"body":"access to support aren't able to do that, aren't able to overcome or have to live with like pain"},{"startTime":1878.188,"endTime":1886.108,"body":"or discomfort and like that's a part of it and I'm not one of those people and so I am in this"},{"startTime":1886.108,"endTime":1894.828,"body":"place of like, how do I address that lovingly to myself, you know, and in partnership with myself."},{"startTime":1894.828,"endTime":1903.308,"body":"Yes, I love that. Yeah, I mean, I think this idea of like there being any kind of minimum health or"},{"startTime":1903.308,"endTime":1909.788,"body":"minimum fitness standard really falls apart when we take into account, like, folks with disabilities,"},{"startTime":1909.788,"endTime":1918.668,"body":"folks with chronic illness. And I think it can be really painfully exclusionary to be like,"},{"startTime":1918.668,"endTime":1927.708,"body":"well if everyone moved more and ate so that their gut biome was healthy."},{"startTime":1929.438,"endTime":1935.676,"body":"Exactly. But some people have IBS. So like, that's real. They're living with that forever."},{"startTime":1935.829,"endTime":1941.528,"body":"Do you remember the presidential test in P.E.? Painfully, I remember it. I don't think I passed."},{"startTime":1941.528,"endTime":1947.448,"body":"I didn't pass because of the freaking pull-ups. And I have pull-up hang-ups to this day because"},{"startTime":1947.448,"endTime":1952.408,"body":"I feel not good enough with the fact that I could never do them to the point that I injured my."},{"startTime":1953.048,"endTime":1957.208,"body":"Shoulder at CrossFit trying to do pull-ups. What the heck presidential test?"},{"startTime":1957.208,"endTime":1958.578,"body":"I couldn't touch my toes."},{"startTime":1958.808,"endTime":1962.611,"body":"I couldn't reach far enough towards my toes for that."},{"startTime":1962.848,"endTime":1963.961,"body":"Also pull-ups."},{"startTime":1964.408,"endTime":1965.582,"body":"Come on, pull-ups."},{"startTime":1966.128,"endTime":1974.296,"body":"Pull-ups are a very different adventure. If you carry most of your mass in your lower body, right? Perfect example."},{"startTime":1974.863,"endTime":1978.59,"body":"Let's just talk about muscle mass. If you carry most of your muscle mass in your upper body,"},{"startTime":1978.768,"endTime":1982.542,"body":"you're then using that stuff to drag the rest of you up over the bar."},{"startTime":1982.848,"endTime":1988.648,"body":"And it's a much easier task. If you carry most of your muscle mass in your lower body, like you're literally fighting"},{"startTime":1988.648,"endTime":1991.628,"body":"against your own self to try to do that."},{"startTime":1991.628,"endTime":1998.168,"body":"And it's like a hundred percent a different, just a different task, significantly more"},{"startTime":1998.168,"endTime":2001.834,"body":"expensive. Thank you. Those words mean a lot to me. No idea."},{"startTime":2002.168,"endTime":2009.768,"body":"Frickin pull ups. It's really a poor choice in terms of like trying to measure anything universal across bodies."},{"startTime":2009.768,"endTime":2016.808,"body":"That's one of the big places that anytime we try to get too general in terms of assessing health"},{"startTime":2016.808,"endTime":2019.784,"body":"or assessing physical ability."},{"startTime":2021.216,"endTime":2028.666,"body":"It just doesn't work because bodies are so varied. Yeah. And like in nature, we appreciate"},{"startTime":2028.666,"endTime":2033.066,"body":"variability. We're like, Oh my gosh, look at all the different kinds of trees. How cool is that"},{"startTime":2033.066,"endTime":2036.826,"body":"there's so many different kinds of flowers. And then with people were like, no, no, everyone should"},{"startTime":2036.826,"endTime":2044.82,"body":"be able to do a pull-up. You're like, what? Right. And how does that relate to like industrial"},{"startTime":2044.882,"endTime":2046.906,"body":"culture. It's just like, there it is."},{"startTime":2046.906,"endTime":2047.565,"body":"Totally."},{"startTime":2047.817,"endTime":2050.826,"body":"And that we are factory line cogs."},{"startTime":2051.786,"endTime":2054.106,"body":"Because I know you are a seasonal cyclical being."},{"startTime":2055.37,"endTime":2058.906,"body":"You and I are like, check, love that life, trying to figure it out."},{"startTime":2058.906,"endTime":2065.543,"body":"You talked about this idea of body movement as ritual."},{"startTime":2065.714,"endTime":2070.666,"body":"It's movement rituals instead of workouts or whatever it is."},{"startTime":2070.666,"endTime":2073.386,"body":"And that to me is like, ooh, I'm really into that."},{"startTime":2073.386,"endTime":2080.986,"body":"And I think that could be more motivating to me. And how that can be infused into embracing as"},{"startTime":2080.986,"endTime":2086.986,"body":"much as we can a nonlinear life like a spirallic life. Like, could you just tell me how to do that?"},{"startTime":2086.986,"endTime":2093.146,"body":"Oh, gosh, I love that. Okay. So I think you probably have a lot of the pieces of this template,"},{"startTime":2093.146,"endTime":2103.646,"body":"it. Because I feel like so much of your work is about unhooking from linearity in work"},{"startTime":2103.646,"endTime":2114.686,"body":"and other areas of life and embracing seasonality and spirallic ways of being. So I think there"},{"startTime":2114.686,"endTime":2119.226,"body":"could be some templates for how you do that with your physical being as well, hidden in"},{"startTime":2119.226,"endTime":2125.866,"body":"your lived experience and knowledge. But yeah, I think a lot of it is just like, we need to normalize"},{"startTime":2125.866,"endTime":2135.346,"body":"how much bodies change, whether we want them to or not. And I think until people have had a"},{"startTime":2135.346,"endTime":2141.226,"body":"significant experience of that, the illusion of control is very strong and very culturally."},{"startTime":2141.226,"endTime":2146.786,"body":"Supported. And then as soon as you've had a major life shift, like in your case, right,"},{"startTime":2146.786,"endTime":2155.826,"body":"birthing a child, all of a sudden you're like, oh, this body is doing things. It's not the same."},{"startTime":2156.718,"endTime":2162.946,"body":"So one thing I try to really practice is to remind myself that my body is an ecosystem."},{"startTime":2163.866,"endTime":2169.346,"body":"And that, you know, that kind of like you never step in the same river twice kind of concept,"},{"startTime":2169.346,"endTime":2177.906,"body":"you never wake up in exactly the same body. And so with movement rituals or any movement container,"},{"startTime":2177.906,"endTime":2185.266,"body":"If you can apply this idea of like, I'm gonna sample these movements with my new body."},{"startTime":2187.001,"endTime":2193.811,"body":"Today, tomorrow, later tomorrow, right? You could treat it every hour like you have a new body if"},{"startTime":2193.811,"endTime":2198.851,"body":"you want. Because technically that's true. Our cells are always regenerating and replenishing"},{"startTime":2198.851,"endTime":2207.331,"body":"themselves. I think that can be a really kind way to start interacting with movement, especially if"},{"startTime":2207.331,"endTime":2212.211,"body":"you're making a return to movement, because it's just so easy to be like, but I used to be able to"},{"startTime":2212.211,"endTime":2213.691,"body":"to do blah, blah, blah."},{"startTime":2213.691,"endTime":2220.328,"body":"And now I can't even, who's ity what's it? And then like into the shame spiral we go."},{"startTime":2220.651,"endTime":2220.931,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2221.811,"endTime":2224.211,"body":"And then the other factor, I don't know if you fall into this trap,"},{"startTime":2225.09,"endTime":2229.211,"body":"but like for me, I am a late in life ADHD discoverer."},{"startTime":2230.971,"endTime":2240.771,"body":"Of myself and have been realizing how difficult routine is and how important novelty is to keep me motivated"},{"startTime":2240.97,"endTime":2249.891,"body":"to do anything. And there's this like pervasive myth in fitness and movement, like even in"},{"startTime":2249.891,"endTime":2255.991,"body":"yoga and sort of the like fringier more woo woo aspects of movement culture. There's this"},{"startTime":2255.991,"endTime":2261.771,"body":"myth that like, if you find the right thing, you'll be able to do that thing consistently"},{"startTime":2261.771,"endTime":2270.391,"body":"forever. And if you don't do that, then there's something wrong with you. And I call bullshit"},{"startTime":2270.391,"endTime":2278.351,"body":"on that because like, again, having witnessed many humans over the course of my life, listening"},{"startTime":2278.351,"endTime":2283.551,"body":"to people talk about movement and fitness and their bodies, pretty much everyone has"},{"startTime":2283.551,"endTime":2290.798,"body":"some version of the like, I got into Zumba, cycling, spin class, CrossFit, yoga, whatever."},{"startTime":2291.151,"endTime":2296.711,"body":"And then something happened. The instructor changed my schedule shifted, my husband couldn't"},{"startTime":2296.711,"endTime":2301.671,"body":"pick up the kids anymore. My knee tweaked and then I did PT but then right and then"},{"startTime":2301.671,"endTime":2308.307,"body":"you fall off completely. And like that is more normal than not right that is more common"},{"startTime":2308.415,"endTime":2309.504,"body":"than uncommon."},{"startTime":2310.231,"endTime":2311.116,"body":"And I think..."},{"startTime":2312.763,"endTime":2317.573,"body":"Part of it is just embracing that that's a universal human truth, that we're going to get"},{"startTime":2317.573,"endTime":2322.053,"body":"stoked on something, we're going to do it for a while, we're going to lose that thread,"},{"startTime":2322.881,"endTime":2329.333,"body":"and then can we just invite ourselves back into it without doing the shame spiral part?"},{"startTime":2332.901,"endTime":2342.253,"body":"Thank you, because yes. I definitely fall in the category of like become obsessed with one kind"},{"startTime":2342.253,"endTime":2349.133,"body":"of movement. And then something blows me off course. And I have to grieve. It's like a love"},{"startTime":2349.133,"endTime":2356.693,"body":"affair almost like I had it with hot yoga. I had it with Pilates. I had it with CrossFit. I had it"},{"startTime":2356.937,"endTime":2361.693,"body":"with the Peloton in 2020 and 2021."},{"startTime":2361.913,"endTime":2367.273,"body":"Yeah, and I think I've got a few that feel good and I have ones that I wanna do,"},{"startTime":2367.273,"endTime":2371.633,"body":"but somehow like, I don't know, have made them not wrong"},{"startTime":2371.633,"endTime":2374.05,"body":"because they aren't the other things I used to do."},{"startTime":2374.213,"endTime":2376.613,"body":"So, because novelty is also important to me."},{"startTime":2376.841,"endTime":2379.974,"body":"Like I'm a manifesting generator, you're a manifester, right?"},{"startTime":2380.253,"endTime":2382.396,"body":"Yeah, so like we need to be loving it."},{"startTime":2383.053,"endTime":2388.652,"body":"We need to be like, ooh. I mean, maybe it's also squiggly brain stuff,"},{"startTime":2388.733,"endTime":2392.019,"body":"but whatever it is, like, I've gotta be loving it."},{"startTime":2392.145,"endTime":2394.036,"body":"The motivation can't just be the doing it."},{"startTime":2394.44,"endTime":2398.392,"body":"It's gotta be the enjoying it. If that's a thing that's accessible for you,"},{"startTime":2398.493,"endTime":2400.247,"body":"go for that, nurture that."},{"startTime":2401.3,"endTime":2406.414,"body":"Honor, like, I need to be having a love affair with the way that I move my body."},{"startTime":2406.933,"endTime":2412.346,"body":"That's super valid. I love that for you. Like, can we just permission that?"},{"startTime":2412.853,"endTime":2418.293,"body":"Yeah, we can actually. Wow, wow, yeah. And then what comes in after that, honestly,"},{"startTime":2418.293,"endTime":2423.266,"body":"since I love how this is really just diving into my stuff, is there's no time."},{"startTime":2423.613,"endTime":2427.893,"body":"There's not enough time. Because what takes a higher priority than movement,"},{"startTime":2427.893,"endTime":2429.351,"body":"mothering and working."},{"startTime":2429.693,"endTime":2432.223,"body":"And so that's like another hill for me to climb."},{"startTime":2432.574,"endTime":2437.013,"body":"I mean, self-care in general, particularly after having a child in capitalism,"},{"startTime":2437.013,"endTime":2441.653,"body":"is like how do we re-prioritize that thing?"},{"startTime":2441.653,"endTime":2449.053,"body":"So that's something that comes up for me, like to really make time and space to joyfully, pleasurefully move is like, wow, the work for me."},{"startTime":2449.053,"endTime":2456.653,"body":"Right. That's super real. I know I've like started a email newsletter that I haven't finished yet"},{"startTime":2456.653,"endTime":2460.173,"body":"that just came to me where people are always like, well, what's the best time of day to"},{"startTime":2460.173,"endTime":2467.133,"body":"strength train? And I'm like, that's a luxurious question. I think the first question is what time"},{"startTime":2467.133,"endTime":2471.133,"body":"of day could you possibly fit this in?"},{"startTime":2470.699,"endTime":2475.589,"body":"And then if there's more options, it's like, okay, what time of day would feel the best to your"},{"startTime":2475.589,"endTime":2481.007,"body":"energy? What time of day do you have the most willingness? How can this movement be."},{"startTime":2482.195,"endTime":2487.839,"body":"Supportive to the rest of your life? So for me, after I strength train, my brain is so quiet."},{"startTime":2488.172,"endTime":2494.469,"body":"And so that's actually sometimes a great time to do more creative work where I would typically get."},{"startTime":2495.482,"endTime":2500.604,"body":"That caught up in self judgment, those voices tend to be quieter after I lift heavy shit."},{"startTime":2501.189,"endTime":2507.709,"body":"So I will sometimes try to pair those things. And again, I have a lot of privilege because"},{"startTime":2507.709,"endTime":2513.269,"body":"I work from home and have a gym in my garage and I'm working for myself so I can move"},{"startTime":2513.269,"endTime":2515.89,"body":"things around. Not everybody has that."},{"startTime":2516.189,"endTime":2525.469,"body":"Yeah. I find I follow these people on Instagram or somehow they get in my visual. The hot"},{"startTime":2525.469,"endTime":2533.749,"body":"thing right now is visually watching the sunrise with your eyeballs. Huberman Lab, Huberman"},{"startTime":2533.749,"endTime":2538.309,"body":"is the big deal, right? That's a podcast. He's like, you should watch the sunrise with"},{"startTime":2538.309,"endTime":2542.589,"body":"your eyeballs every morning because then you'll sleep better and then you should cold plunge"},{"startTime":2542.589,"endTime":2547.709,"body":"thing in the morning. And I'm like, y'all don't have kids. Y'all don't have kids because what,"},{"startTime":2548.509,"endTime":2555.469,"body":"are you talking about? And like, do you, but don't tell me it's the key to like a perfect life and a"},{"startTime":2555.469,"endTime":2562.099,"body":"perfect body and perfect sleep. That sucks to hear because I can't do that. And this is so common"},{"startTime":2562.153,"endTime":2570.269,"body":"in the fitness included in wellness world. You must do this exactly this way at exactly this time."},{"startTime":2570.269,"endTime":2575.404,"body":"And then all of your problems will be solved. And it's like, cool, what if that's not accessible to me?"},{"startTime":2576.549,"endTime":2580.058,"body":"That is painfully exclusionary, right?"},{"startTime":2581.429,"endTime":2584.451,"body":"Okay, this is the other thing that I think is true that I wish more people knew."},{"startTime":2585.0,"endTime":2588.069,"body":"You heard that metaphor, it's kind of like a life coaching metaphor"},{"startTime":2588.069,"endTime":2589.609,"body":"where you talk about your priorities,"},{"startTime":2589.609,"endTime":2594.705,"body":"and it's like if you have sand and pebbles and big rocks and a bucket and you're trying to fill it,"},{"startTime":2594.957,"endTime":2596.416,"body":"like, how do you do it?"},{"startTime":2596.509,"endTime":2598.54,"body":"How do you order the things?"},{"startTime":2598.709,"endTime":2602.949,"body":"It's like, oh, you should put the big rocks in first, and then the pebbles will fill in the spaces,"},{"startTime":2602.949,"endTime":2610.949,"body":"and then you pour in the sand. With movement for health and well-being and mental health,"},{"startTime":2611.584,"endTime":2617.189,"body":"there are things that are like big rocks, and then 90% of what we're hearing about internet is sand."},{"startTime":2618.183,"endTime":2625.829,"body":"It's just like that only matters for the last 1% to really dial it in. But it's just like,"},{"startTime":2626.663,"endTime":2631.749,"body":"give yourself permission to do the big rocks and that's like 90% of the way there. And then there's"},{"startTime":2631.749,"endTime":2639.549,"body":"so much more flexibility to meet yourself with what you enjoy, with what fits into your parenting"},{"startTime":2639.549,"endTime":2642.453,"body":"schedule with you know what's available to you."},{"startTime":2643.452,"endTime":2650.742,"body":"I see so clearly that so many people miss out on so many of the wonderful like self-care benefits"},{"startTime":2650.742,"endTime":2656.262,"body":"of movement because we have this culture that's just like obsessed with the sand stuff."},{"startTime":2657.001,"endTime":2663.702,"body":"Totally. That's really landing for me in deep ways. And I trust for everyone listening because."},{"startTime":2664.743,"endTime":2672.022,"body":"What I'm dancing with is like what's not possible, which is like watching the sunrise with my eyeballs"},{"startTime":2672.022,"endTime":2678.322,"body":"on an ocean vista every morning and then cold plunging the moment after whatever it is."},{"startTime":2678.322,"endTime":2682.662,"body":"And some of my friends literally do that and I'm so happy for them. And then what am I"},{"startTime":2682.662,"endTime":2687.77,"body":"saying? What am I doing to get in my own way because of like the programming and like,"},{"startTime":2687.922,"endTime":2692.742,"body":"you know, what can I forgive myself for and be understanding and compassionate about and"},{"startTime":2692.742,"endTime":2697.232,"body":"then also take the next right step. So like I'm noticing when you were like, you know,"},{"startTime":2697.482,"endTime":2701.142,"body":"love affair with movement and me being like, but I always choose work and mothering and"},{"startTime":2701.142,"endTime":2707.662,"body":"And it's like, okay, well, what if that's something I can titrate through, which is like me and integrity"},{"startTime":2707.662,"endTime":2710.062,"body":"with like my message to the world, which is like, okay,"},{"startTime":2710.062,"endTime":2715.687,"body":"that's a place that I can make meaningful, incremental change."},{"startTime":2715.782,"endTime":2717.613,"body":"And that's like a huge boulder."},{"startTime":2717.742,"endTime":2723.722,"body":"Like that's the big rock for me, I think, is like, where can I create more space in my life"},{"startTime":2723.722,"endTime":2729.422,"body":"that's actually possible to have a love affair with movement as ritual?"},{"startTime":2729.422,"endTime":2732.512,"body":"I'm thinking about that chapter in Big Magic."},{"startTime":2733.662,"endTime":2736.851,"body":"Have you read that book? Oh yeah, ooh, so good."},{"startTime":2737.142,"endTime":2741.217,"body":"She talks about like having a love affair with your project"},{"startTime":2741.502,"endTime":2745.982,"body":"and like the way that when people are having affairs, they like find that 15 minutes"},{"startTime":2745.982,"endTime":2750.742,"body":"to have a steamy makeout session in the hallway, or they like find somehow,"},{"startTime":2750.742,"endTime":2753.622,"body":"even though they're married and they have kids and they have lives, they find a weekend"},{"startTime":2753.622,"endTime":2755.873,"body":"to like get away and like do the thing."},{"startTime":2755.982,"endTime":2760.194,"body":"And I wonder if like some of that energy could come into your relationship with movement,"},{"startTime":2760.282,"endTime":2764.965,"body":"where it's like, okay, pleasure is the priority because we know you need to be in love"},{"startTime":2765.082,"endTime":2766.963,"body":"and have that like love affair feeling."},{"startTime":2768.802,"endTime":2776.062,"body":"Where can it sneak in? Like, what are the like 15 minute makeout sesh versions,"},{"startTime":2777.202,"endTime":2778.562,"body":"that could start happening?"},{"startTime":2778.562,"endTime":2784.502,"body":"Or like, where could you sneak in a date night with yourself and I don't know."},{"startTime":2784.502,"endTime":2787.002,"body":"I don't know what the equivalents are. The metaphor is breaking down, but."},{"startTime":2787.002,"endTime":2791.602,"body":"Oh, it's holding strong over here. I'm like, I like that actually."},{"startTime":2791.602,"endTime":2797.859,"body":"For now, I would invite you to throw out everything else you think you know about what movement is supposed to be to be effective."},{"startTime":2799.162,"endTime":2805.082,"body":"That is the biggest straight jacket we all wear all the time is that movement has to be X, Y, and Z"},{"startTime":2805.082,"endTime":2806.6,"body":"in order to be effective, right?"},{"startTime":2806.662,"endTime":2811.522,"body":"You have to watch the sun rise from the horizon in order to get the benefits."},{"startTime":2811.714,"endTime":2817.349,"body":"It's like, no, actually, if you get light on your eyeballs without a window or glasses in between,"},{"startTime":2817.542,"endTime":2820.968,"body":"sometime early in the day is helpful."},{"startTime":2821.742,"endTime":2825.912,"body":"Maybe it's the most helpful if you watch the sunrise, but like there's still benefit if you're"},{"startTime":2825.912,"endTime":2831.272,"body":"doing like a version of it. I'm also remembering like this thing happened on Instagram where"},{"startTime":2831.272,"endTime":2836.152,"body":"someone was like, what are you doing right now? And tagged me and I was like, oh, I'm in the"},{"startTime":2836.152,"endTime":2840.632,"body":"Vancouver airport eating noodles. What are you doing, Hannah? And I like tagged you and you were"},{"startTime":2840.632,"endTime":2845.992,"body":"like, I'm microdosing sunlight. You're like, we're sitting, I don't know, on your deck or something."},{"startTime":2845.992,"endTime":2850.992,"body":"I was thinking like there was a little patch of sun on your face."},{"startTime":2851.36,"endTime":2862.272,"body":"And I was like, yep, that's like great, great. Microdosing vitamin D. For those who are not watching this, I am a very fair skinned redhead."},{"startTime":2862.272,"endTime":2871.426,"body":"So sun, I can do about seven minutes. That's what I can do where I get vitamin D, but don't get burned."},{"startTime":2872.112,"endTime":2875.592,"body":"I mean, again, this is one of those things, even as I said, I was like, is that even true?"},{"startTime":2875.592,"endTime":2884.672,"body":"I've heard that your optimal vitamin D absorption window is half the time it takes you to get"},{"startTime":2884.672,"endTime":2891.472,"body":"sunburned and it takes me 15 minutes to get sunburned, which is a sad state of my life,"},{"startTime":2891.472,"endTime":2896.392,"body":"but something I'm just now rolling with. But again, I'm like, is that true or is that"},{"startTime":2896.392,"endTime":2900.116,"body":"just another way that we've gotten ourselves stuck in the sand?"},{"startTime":2900.352,"endTime":2905.632,"body":"That the internet is telling me that if I stop eating seed oils and never wear sunscreen,"},{"startTime":2905.632,"endTime":2906.895,"body":"I will never sunburn."},{"startTime":2908.392,"endTime":2914.752,"body":"Like really, that's like a thing going around. I'm not trying to make any sort of commentary, maybe I am,"},{"startTime":2914.752,"endTime":2922.793,"body":"but mostly the point is like I often feel confusion around all the bits shared around these worldwide webs."},{"startTime":2926.052,"endTime":2936.032,"body":"And seeing how I outsource my own relationship my body to these bits that come through in various ways like on YouTube channels and podcasts."},{"startTime":2936.032,"endTime":2943.966,"body":"LS I mean, the fitness industry and the diet industry is largely built on this power over"},{"startTime":2944.137,"endTime":2952.432,"body":"dynamic with the body. Internally, it's like your mind needs to have power over your body."},{"startTime":2952.432,"endTime":2957.872,"body":"And then externally, it's like, and actually, you probably need to hire someone or you need to trust"},{"startTime":2957.872,"endTime":2963.952,"body":"this expert guidance or you need to be up on this hot tip in order to be doing it right."},{"startTime":2964.779,"endTime":2969.712,"body":"And I think one thing that's been grounding for me just being in the fitness industry"},{"startTime":2969.82,"endTime":2975.552,"body":"since 2007 was when I was really starting to pay attention, the expert exact guidance has changed."},{"startTime":2976.266,"endTime":2986.672,"body":"And so you start to realize the things that we're getting so intense about as like this is the only path to health, wait 10 years and then like it's"},{"startTime":2986.672,"endTime":2991.312,"body":"a different thing. And so I think"},{"startTime":2990.418,"endTime":3003.93,"body":"What i would love for more humans to to know is that you can filter things through your own experience the cool thing about the way that the body is an ecosystem it's basically a lab if you try something and it makes you feel better great."},{"startTime":3004.344,"endTime":3014.968,"body":"If you try something and it makes you feel worse or doesn't work for you like that's also information i mean obviously don't eat poisonous things right there's some useful information out there but like."},{"startTime":3015.201,"endTime":3023.368,"body":"So many folks I talk to are so tangled up around like, well, should I be doing this and that?"},{"startTime":3023.368,"endTime":3027.088,"body":"And the other thing, what if I'm not even doing this exercise correctly?"},{"startTime":3027.088,"endTime":3033.768,"body":"And I'm like, try it, self experiment, check in, see how it feels."},{"startTime":3033.768,"endTime":3039.291,"body":"And what's cool is like the further I've gotten into my study of strength training."},{"startTime":3040.228,"endTime":3051.108,"body":"It seems like the people who are in the like, deeper into the research agree with this. They're like, we can't predict how any individual is"},{"startTime":3051.108,"endTime":3058.268,"body":"going to respond to any particular stimulus. We can make an educated guess, we can deliver"},{"startTime":3058.268,"endTime":3065.928,"body":"the stimulus, and then we need to observe how that body adapts and then adjust our program"},{"startTime":3065.928,"endTime":3071.568,"body":"going forward. And that's something that literally anybody can do for themselves if they're able to"},{"startTime":3071.568,"endTime":3079.728,"body":"to stay present and compassionate with themselves and gather information without disappearing"},{"startTime":3079.728,"endTime":3087.624,"body":"into the shame dungeon of, I'm not doing it right. I'm not capable. Pick a thing to try."},{"startTime":3088.028,"endTime":3094.196,"body":"Try that thing for an amount of time you've decided to try it. Pay attention. Notice what Thanks for watching."},{"startTime":3095.015,"endTime":3099.865,"body":"And then give yourself permission to adjust the plan. I think that's where we get lost too."},{"startTime":3099.865,"endTime":3104.576,"body":"We tend to be like, I have mapped out my fitness plan."},{"startTime":3104.805,"endTime":3110.545,"body":"And then we try it and then it like doesn't go accordingly or it's too much."},{"startTime":3110.545,"endTime":3112.38,"body":"We've bitten off more than we can chew."},{"startTime":3112.505,"endTime":3115.882,"body":"And then we go, well, I suck at fitness and I just shouldn't do it."},{"startTime":3115.999,"endTime":3120.025,"body":"And then the whole thing breaks instead of being like, okay, maybe that was too much."},{"startTime":3120.025,"endTime":3121.077,"body":"Maybe I need to adjust."},{"startTime":3121.345,"endTime":3122.679,"body":"Maybe there's some tweaks here."},{"startTime":3123.825,"endTime":3129.71,"body":"Maybe I need to let this shift as I slide into winter and I'm just generally slowing down."},{"startTime":3130.115,"endTime":3135.759,"body":"Wow. Thank you so much for all of that. I'm clearly very jazzed on this topic."},{"startTime":3136.105,"endTime":3142.305,"body":"There's a lot. Yeah. I can't be alone in being like, there's so much to contend with."},{"startTime":3142.305,"endTime":3149.905,"body":"And I'm just so glad you hold spaces and individual folks with this because this should be deeper"},{"startTime":3149.905,"endTime":3153.025,"body":"than threaded comments on social media."},{"startTime":3153.025,"endTime":3157.845,"body":"Should be like spaces where we can really go deeper on this because it's complex and"},{"startTime":3157.845,"endTime":3163.485,"body":"vast and as we know is like generations old and the works and yeah, we're all deserving"},{"startTime":3163.485,"endTime":3170.145,"body":"of a deep relationship with our body ecosystem. Thank you so much for coming on the longing"},{"startTime":3170.145,"endTime":3174.005,"body":"and chatting with me, Hannah. So you talked about a few things that you offer. Can we"},{"startTime":3174.005,"endTime":3176.891,"body":"just like name them again so folks can find out more?"},{"startTime":3177.105,"endTime":3183.58,"body":"As you just named, I do work with folks one on one and it's a combination of like."},{"startTime":3184.498,"endTime":3197.452,"body":"Movement some of my like personal training background where i will actually teach you movements and also coaching around more of what we've been talking about today like how do you relate to your body how do you relate to movement"},{"startTime":3197.551,"endTime":3202.718,"body":"what are the stories and habits that are needing to be unraveled and transmitted."},{"startTime":3203.564,"endTime":3212.639,"body":"And then I host a community called the Body Liberation Playground where we support each other in doing that kind of exploratory work together."},{"startTime":3212.888,"endTime":3218.888,"body":"And my newest offering is called Seedling Strength. I'm really stoked on this one."},{"startTime":3219.12,"endTime":3226.888,"body":"But basically it's like a small group container where we get to actually like meet and move twice a week for six weeks."},{"startTime":3226.888,"endTime":3233.368,"body":"And then there's coaching support in between to talk about all the feels that come up when you"},{"startTime":3233.368,"endTime":3238.888,"body":"start trying to claim strength for yourself either for the first time or for the first time in a"},{"startTime":3238.888,"endTime":3245.048,"body":"long time because there's a lot there's a lot that comes up there and so we make space for for both"},{"startTime":3245.048,"endTime":3251.248,"body":"the feels and the moves. This is all virtual so wherever you are you could participate in these"},{"startTime":3251.248,"endTime":3257.808,"body":"things. I'm starting to think about some one-on-one stuff that could happen in person in Oakland where"},{"startTime":3257.808,"endTime":3263.968,"body":"I live, but that's in development. We'll have the links to everything in the show notes"},{"startTime":3263.968,"endTime":3268.822,"body":"at belongingpodcast.com. So if you're like, wait, what's that thing? Just go there and we'll link"},{"startTime":3269.191,"endTime":3275.088,"body":"there. Hannah husband, I appreciate you so much. I love your energy. I love the way you talk about."},{"startTime":3275.844,"endTime":3281.328,"body":"Bodies and culture and all of it and I yeah I'm just so grateful for the work"},{"startTime":3281.328,"endTime":3285.422,"body":"that you do in the world. Thank you so much it's been a pleasure to chat with"},{"startTime":3285.476,"endTime":3293.47,"body":"you and I look forward to more chats. Thank you so much for joining me in a,"},{"startTime":3294.128,"endTime":3298.688,"body":"time when our attention is being pulled in so many different directions it means"},{"startTime":3298.688,"endTime":3308.528,"body":"a lot that you took time out of your day to spend it with me and in these important conversations. For show notes and links and more information about my guests,"},{"startTime":3308.801,"endTime":3315.328,"body":"you can head to belongingpodcast.com. And if you'd like to hear more from me and get access to my"},{"startTime":3315.499,"endTime":3322.928,"body":"free newsletter called Slow and Seasonal. You can head to becappiastrelli.com slash subscribe."}]}