S4:E5 Rounding Up and Winding Down: A Lighthearted Look at Year-End Challenges

Ever feel overwhelmed?   Of course!  Us, too.  This episode is packed with practical advice to help manage overwhelming feelings. 

We break down the importance of making a list to clear your mental clutter, the therapeutic benefits of journaling, and the power of talking things out with someone you trust. Plus, we share how taking just one small step can snap you out of procrastination and lead to a more manageable to-do list. 

Tune in for a blend of humor, relatable stories, and actionable tips that will leave you feeling ready to conquer the end-of-year chaos with confidence.  Speaking of tips... we spend some time talking about tips... you'll see.  

Check out all episodes of Lead On with Greg & Mark on your favorite podcast platform!

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:01

You're listening to Lead On with Greg and Mark, brought to you by the Pennsylvania Association of Intermediate Units. Join us this season as we engage in conversations on leading on through times of complexity. Now for your hosts, Greg and Mark gregory mark kaufman, great kids hey I have a question.

Speaker 3 0:41

I have maybe an answer let's see.

Speaker 2 0:43

A couple episodes ago, you were talking about the salad debacle. The salad.

Speaker 3 0:49

I still can't find a good tuna salad out there.

Speaker 2 0:51

So on the episode, you talked about the experience that you had ordering something yes, paying for it, Right Finding out that you ordered the wrong thing.

Speaker 3 1:03

Yeah.

Speaker 2 1:03

Not being able to undo the purchase because it went through yeah and then never going back. I have a question for you, and has anyone suggested a place for you to get a decent salad where you work? No, no, but it did get us thinking, though about as we were sidebarring about that afterwards. Yeah, the tipping culture.

Speaker 3 1:22

Oh, we did talk about that a little bit the, the tipping.

Speaker 2 1:24

So you and I, I think we're both generous tippers.

Speaker 3 1:26

That's my my sense, and we've both worked in the restaurant field.

Speaker 2 1:29

Yeah, and my, my parents were generous. Tip are generous tippers, but when I say we're, I mean I grew up watching them.

Speaker 3 1:34

Yeah.

Speaker 2 1:35

Um, I worked in in, brother was a driver for a long time and drivers in pizza hut, dominoes and center they live on tips really just like waitresses and waiters exactly. I was just curious, like what's your experience when you go into a restaurant? Now? Let's say you're going in to pick up a pizza. 10 years ago you wouldn't have tipped right you.

Speaker 2 1:55

You pay the transaction, you walk out if you're picking it up right right, but now, when you do the transaction, there's always an option to tip now even though there hasn't been a service provided, like a table side service or delivery.

Speaker 3 2:10

Well, there's got to be a lot of statistics on this, but because I would say there are times I will put an extra dollar just because the customer service is so good, and we've talked about that time and time again.

Speaker 2 2:19

Yeah, and like, would you have done that before? No, right, no, even though that restaurant probably had like a jar for dollars and things like that, right, you know, way before credit cards were a thing.

Speaker 3 2:27

Yeah, how about this? Have you been to the? Go to the supermarket and they say you can round up.

Speaker 2 2:33

Yeah For like a foundation.

Speaker 3 2:34

Charity yeah, that wasn't interesting.

Speaker 2 2:38

And there's got to be good stats on that as well. Push right, yeah, because a lot of people are probably just pushing whatever to get it off the screen, yeah or some.

Speaker 3 2:44

There could be somebody quirky like me that likes the even numbers you like oh for you instead of 10, 59 that you pay. You're paying 11. You're paying 11. Yeah, yeah, interesting. Are those crickets? I hear crickets. Are those crickets?

Speaker 2 3:00

yes, I think they're crickets. You know, I'm feeling overwhelmed. Are you feeling overwhelmed? It was a great segue. It was terrible. Should we just start over? No, no, no, should we plow through?

Speaker 3 3:12

No, we plow through, we're going to plow through. So listen, so this is the time of year, this is the time of year in education, especially, where people are feeling overwhelmed. The teachers are done, teachers are done, students are done. You know they, just you know they've hit a wall right.

Speaker 2 3:29

Yeah, and for for those of you listening in the future, we're recording this like May, June time period. So you're right, it's the end of the school year for all intents and purposes. We're getting into final season soon. Yeah, you time requirements. We've got to keep going. And the weather I mean once the weather changes in April and May, the kids are done. There's something about that sun, right. It's just so. And the warmth.

Speaker 1 3:53

Vitamin D. You want to go outside and play.

Speaker 2 3:56

Teachers are thinking about the summer and their well-deserved breaks. And administrators are already thinking about the next school year.

Speaker 3 4:04

While they have the pressures of the current school year. I was just in an in-service planning committee meeting For next year.

Speaker 2 4:09

Yeah, yesterday or two days ago and you're not even at graduation yet. Yeah, exactly, it never stops.

Speaker 3 4:12

It's unbelievable, unbelievable.

Speaker 2 4:14

It's like a carousel, it just goes around.

Speaker 3 4:16

So I was telling Mark, before we started recording this episode, about it's this little meme thing, challenge. It's make your end of year educator name, and I sent this out to my wife, maria, to share with her teacher friends. And what you do is you line up your birth. For each birth month there is a different term, like, for example, january, which is my birth month, says the exhausted, and then the second part is last digit of your room number. Mine is zero and barely standing, so mine would be the exhausted and barely standing. And then what was yours again?

Speaker 2 4:53

Harold. I was born in May, so I would be the giddy.

Speaker 3 4:56

103 was my first year, which I agree with.

Speaker 2 4:58

So I was giddy and ready for summer.

Speaker 3 5:00

Giddy and ready for summer. Yeah, that explains. That's really. I don't think of myself. Am I giddy? Sometimes your voice goes higher. You like that, do I get giddy? When you talked about the Egg McMuffin, one time your voice went higher, did my eyes light? Up yeah.

Speaker 2 5:14

And your voice got higher. Dude is there anything better than a sausage Egg McMuffin? Oh, there really isn't, do you? Oh, very good. The thing that makes me upset, though, are the newspaper articles where you find out that when you round up or when you tip, it doesn't go to the employees, it's going to the owner of the establishment that's not good.

Speaker 3 5:32

That's not good. It's like criminal. Yeah, it is.

Speaker 2 5:34

And it's misleading well, yeah, yeah, they're not even seeing the money how about this?

Speaker 3 5:39

how about if you have a large group and a tip is included already?

Speaker 2 5:42

that doesn't bother me, me, it doesn't bother me. No, it doesn't bother me.

Speaker 3 5:45

It's the nature of how many people are serving, because people are bad.

Speaker 2 5:48

If people weren't bad, tippers and that wouldn't be a problem. True, sometimes people forget that a table of eight, a table of ten, that's the equivalent of two tables. So that waitress, that waiter, that server is dedicating, over the same period of time where they would have gotten two tips, to just one table. So they deserve.

Speaker 3 6:06

Right, I agree. And then I had to look it up because, speaking of tipping my voice just got high there.

Speaker 2 6:11

It did get high. You're giddy. I told you I'm passionate you.

Speaker 3 6:12

My voice just got high there. It did get high. You're giddy. I told you I'm passionate.

Speaker 2 6:15

You're passionate. I want folks to be rewarded. Go ahead, there you go. Okay, it's a sensitive subject though, isn't it? It is sensitive Because people make their livelihoods off of tips. They do, I mean, it's like a big deal.

Speaker 3 6:27

I don't want to be Right, right.

Speaker 2 6:30

Right, what are we?

Coping With Overwhelm

Speaker 3 6:33

talking about I don't know. Let's, let's circle back to this whole thing. So we're talking about feeling overwhelmed, yeah, so people are feeling overwhelmed at this point, yes, and you know uh, it's a term I don't like, but pulling their hair out, you know kind of thing. Articles that we found One is what to do when you're feeling overwhelmed, and that is by Diane Barth. So that's one article. The other one is 11 tools to cope with burnout and overwhelm, and that's by Ravi Chandra. All right, so let's first take a look at this what to do when you're feeling overwhelmed. Yeah, there's eight things here.

Speaker 2 7:10

There's eight. Yeah, both of these were on psychology today, so sort of a publication about psychology for psychology folks. Okay, so the first thing they say you do right when you're feeling overwhelmed and we all feel overwhelmed at home and at work.

Speaker 2 7:22

Oh yeah, right, so this is this is not something that is unique to people. This is common to the human experience, I believe. First thing you're supposed to do, make a list of the things that are overwhelming you, for example, the tasks that you need to accomplish goals that you've set, things that are worrying or distressing you. So essentially, you make a quote laundry list or a checklist or a to-do list, and I think part of the therapeutic approach to this is literally just writing it down. I think that satisfies the need to one not have to remember all the things that you're worried about right, because some of your anxiety might come from having to remember them.

Speaker 2 8:00

So putting them on paper now means that they don't have to live in your head anymore. They now live on a piece of paper.

Speaker 3 8:04

I see it.

Speaker 2 8:05

And then the other thing is it might actually put things in context If you actually see them. They're no longer in your head, you can be a little more objective and you can say this isn't so bad. Or maybe you say, gosh, it's worse than I thought. But neither way you can take a perspective. By seeing them on a physical piece of paper, on your computer screen and you can have a sort of a conversation with yourself about what's the severity here, and then, also, seeing them written down, you can actually start to prioritize.

Speaker 3 8:34

I think it's very good and I think this segues right into the second, which is write about your worries, so actually, journaling, we talked about this, so we talked about this and it is not easy and, mark, I haven't been keeping up with it I was doing well when you challenged me to it.

Speaker 3 8:47

But I've gone through many nights where I told Mark I would keep a journal by my bedside and just jot some things down. Um, you know that were on my mind, but I, I just it's escaped me. I also tried the tech. You, you sent me an app to take to try.

Speaker 2 9:01

It's just not doing it doesn't work for me either, dude, even with the reminders so it doesn't work for me. So I have a buddy that journals every week or every other week for the last 10 years, yeah, and he has like a google doc going. That might be an interesting person to bring on and talk about what he's learned Maybe.

Speaker 3 9:14

maybe he can give us some tips for how to stick with it.

Speaker 2 9:17

Yeah, but it's probably what? Yes, and it's probably one of those things where you either feel compelled to do it or you don't. But I bet he would do it.

Speaker 3 9:24

I'll talk to him. Yeah, um, this next one I love and this is obviously common sense, but it's the third is talk to someone a friend, a family member, member or other loved one or a professional. They can all they can help you find the words to express your feelings. Sometimes you just don't, something's going on and you're just not right. But just talking to someone can help to get that garbage out of your head.

Speaker 2 9:47

You know, and, honestly, the frustration and whatever it might be, what these things that are oppressing you yeah, it doesn't have to be a paid therapist, it could just be a buddy, a friend, a relative, yeah, talking to someone. So we're making lists, we're prioritizing, we're evaluating, we're analyzing the lists, we're writing about our worries. Remember those worry dolls, right you would? You tell your worries to the worry doll you put under your pillow? Yes or you write your worry down and you burn it or whatever.

Speaker 1 10:16

I've seen that Something like therapeutic syrup yeah.

Speaker 2 10:19

Now we're talking to someone. The fourth one is oftentimes we're overwhelmed by the large picture which might actually be the result of writing things down or making a list. You might then see the list and get overwhelmed. This fourth one, I believe, is literally just starting with a single step finding one thing on that list and just doing it.

Speaker 3 10:41

I like that a lot too, and we often find, you know, when you're overwhelmed, there's a lot of mental clutter, right. So your brain is just cluttered up with all of these things. Like Mark just said, you write them down on a piece of paper and you're like, oh my gosh, that's a lot, that's a lot going on.

Speaker 2 11:01

um, so, just like you said that recommendation for this fourth is just do it, just do it, just find one, find one and work on it right, and then at least you know you've done one thing. And then one leads to two, two leads to three. You know, I find personally that oftentimes when I'm stuck or I feel like I'm procrastinating or avoiding things, I find that when I write things down, often my wife is challenged just write it down, let's make a list, and then I'll do the same for her. Of course, you do one. You realize that something that you've been putting off for two weeks took you 15 minutes.

Speaker 3 11:27

Have you ever been in that situation and you've been dwelling on it for days?

Speaker 2 11:31

If you had just done, it three weeks ago, you wouldn't have even exhausted all that mental energy. I mean, literally it'll take 15 minutes. No, I'm not trivializing everything. Some things are going to take weeks or months. But there are things that you're worried about right now, that I'm worried about right now, that we collectively are worried about right now, or individually worried about right now, that I bet if we just did it it would be over to be done, agreed. Just writing that report, doing that presentation, reading that article, responding to that email, answering that phone call Just do it, just do it, just do it.

Speaker 1 12:01

There's my voice going up again.

Speaker 2 12:02

All right, number five. Go back to the list you made. Put a number from one to five, based on how easy it would be to do it, and then work on them from easiest to hardest or hardest to easiest?

Speaker 3 12:11

Yeah, yeah Six. Self-care is a crucial component of dealing with being overwhelmed. So self-care, so it says. For example, if you make sure that you are eating well, sleeping as well as you can and paying attention to your feelings, you will be better prepared to cope with the problems that are overwhelming you. Yeah, it's all these basic needs, right? Do something for you.

Speaker 2 12:31

So if you've got a pressing list at work or at home maybe half an hour dedicated to whatever it is you do playing the bass, going for a walk, playing with your dog, eating ice cream right, something for yourself first. Yeah, number seven this is the one that says that oftentimes we want to avoid procrastination and avoidance. However, it's reminding us that we should be limiting the amount of time we're consuming or worrying about distressing news, et cetera, that we don't need that agitation in our life. So if you're already feeling stressed, you're dwelling on.

Speaker 3 13:05

The negative is what they're saying Don't be dwelling on the negative.

Speaker 2 13:08

So if you're feeling stressed, then don't watch distressing things, right? If you're feeling overwhelmed, then stop watching the news. Stop doom scrolling on your phone. It's just going to be the vicious cycle. It's all going to magnify. Yeah, so stop exposing yourself to troubling things. If you're feeling troubled, I like it. I like it. Easier said than done.

Speaker 3 13:27

Number eight last but not least, sir, it is Recognize that there are some things you can do something about and some things you can't influence. So what are we in control of? And I, I do. I do ask myself that question a lot. Yeah, am I in control of this, or is, or am I not?

Speaker 2 13:45

I had a colleague who would always say you can only control your own behavior. Yeah Right, it's sort of parallel, yeah.

Speaker 3 13:52

Uh well listen so I know we had two articles here, but I feel like that was good. That was good, I mean right.

Speaker 2 13:56

Yeah, I agree, because this other article, maybe we can come back to it.

Speaker 3 13:59

We can still recommend it.

Speaker 2 14:00

No, but yeah, it was Ravi Chandra MD. 11 Tools to Cope with Burnout and Overwhelm. There's 11 tools here, but I don't want to that.

Speaker 1 14:15

Take these eight things no doubt you're feeling overwhelmed by something right now.

Speaker 2 14:19

So we've got making a list that's of the things that overwhelm you or that distress you, writing about your worries, talking to someone, taking a small step to take a piece out of the bigger pie, going back to the list and prioritizing things in order of ease, taking care of yourself and then avoiding distressing things, and recognizing that some things are out of your control and that the only thing you can control is your own behavior. Spend a couple of weeks focusing on those eight things and then, in a couple of weeks, we'll have an episode about tools that we can leverage to handle burnout and overwhelm, in the event that we need a refresher Right.

Speaker 2 14:54

So if these don't resonate with you. Maybe this other authors do. Excellent, Sounds like a plan.

Speaker 3 14:59

All right, do I get a tip for that? I don't know. I might round up. You have 70 cents 70 cents.

Speaker 2 15:07

What do you say? We wrap this up Speaking of rounding up what about wrapping up?

Speaker 3 15:10

Wrapping up, I like how you did that. You like, like that very good, so, uh, it's. It's always a pleasure and we we love our listeners. Thank you, thanks for listening to lead on with greg and mark. In the meantime, go ahead, let's make it a great day and what, greg? And let's innovate the usa let's go.

Speaker 2 15:41

Have a great day, greg. Have a great day mark.

Speaker 3 15:43

Would you like a kit kat? Oh, that sounds great. Do you have any snickers? Goodbye.