Focus, Fire, and Finding Your Way: A Marine’s Path to Healing

In this powerful and emotional episode of When Does the [ __ ] End?, Todd and Kyle welcome Jennifer Jefferson, the heart and soul behind Focus Marines Foundation — a life-changing program supporting veterans with PTSD, TBI, and other challenges post-service.

Jennifer shares how Focus offers a 7-day immersive, all-expenses-paid program in Missouri for veterans seeking a new path. Todd opens up about how the program saved his life, and together, they shed light on the real mental health struggles faced by many veterans — including the heartbreaking loss of a fellow Marine, Tim May.

From military trauma and suicide prevention to dark humor and raw honesty, this episode balances heartfelt insight with the show’s signature unfiltered vibe. They also dive into absurd "Would You Rather" questions, giving listeners a much-needed break from the heaviness.

Whether you're a vet, know someone who is, or just want a dose of real talk about healing and hope — this episode is for you.

👉 Learn more or apply to Focus Marines Foundation: https://www.focusmarines.org

We Have a guest Jennifer Jefferson from Focus.... follow her on https://www.instagram.com/jenniferjefferson/
https://focusmarines.org/


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Transcript

[Music]

0:08

[Music] all right hello everybody and welcome to

0:14

another episode of When Does the [ __ ] End because it really doesn't sometimes now does it Kyle it does not okay and

0:22

here's how we're going to open it up once again like we always do with a shot of Screw Ball but first off let me

0:27

introduce our guest her name is Jennifer Jefferson which is very hard to say it's like a tongue twister but she is um from

0:35

Focus who I speak highly of at the very beginning of most of my uh podcasts a

0:40

program that I went through that really changed my life and they bring in Marines with PTSD and things like that

0:46

i'll let her talk more about it but let's get to this shot salute cool you can say something cheers

0:57

delicious okay so usually usually I do a rundown are you sure it's yummy it's peanut butter it's

1:04

yummy you better say it's yummy because I'm trying to get sponsored i know i love it it's my fave so I usually do a

1:10

rundown of all of the uh organizations that help me but since I have someone from one of them we're going to save

1:16

that to the end and this is like I said Jennifer Jefferson and that's very hard to spit out but um I'm going to let her

1:24

talk a little bit about Focus which is a program that changed my life they tracked me down for like seven years i

1:30

said I didn't need that [ __ ] and then the next thing I know boom I'm a better person so I'm going to let her run down

1:35

what she does what the program's about and maybe anybody that's listening that is a marine or a sailor or an airman or

1:43

a soldier we'll leave out the Coast Guard i was about Just kidding coast Guard too

1:48

um maybe this is a program that you might need or maybe your spouse is someone that might need this so uh I'm

1:55

going to go ahead and run it over to her and we'll let her start this off perfect thank you it's so nice to be here thanks

2:00

for having me but we are in the middle of Missouri it's a 7-day totally free program for um veterans and it dep it

2:09

doesn't matter what kind of situation you are in whether you are injured or not injured if you have PTSD or a TVI

2:16

but um you come to our program and it's a place where things start to get better for you

2:22

um and whatever that means to you so we do have um seven days we have

2:27

facilitators come in they they come in and they talk about things like victim mindset responsibility mindset and it's

2:34

just a place where you can come and kind of figure out where you came from where are you now what's working for you

2:39

what's not and and what are the changes that you need to make to make your life better and then then we have a what's

2:45

next so now here's a here's a bunch of ideas on what you can do to put all of those tools now into place and where do

2:52

you want to go with your life and you know we talk about goal setting and you know we have entrepreneurs come in we

2:59

have amazing speakers come in we we try to make sure you have a a whole gamut of

3:04

information that you can take with you so that when you leave we focus you have a a jumping off place a place to start

3:10

your life and again where where things start to get better and again whatever that means for you if that means just being being able to pick up an

3:17

instrument put down the bottle put down whatever you're you're doing to numb

3:23

your pain and just sit in it for a minute and kind of figure out now what and she's being a little bit modest

3:28

because this program I'll tell you what it's it's fun to sit there and watch all the light bulbs go off in all these

3:34

guys' heads while you're sitting there because you're so set in a military mindset that when you get in there and

3:42

they start talking about all the things they're talking about you go "Holy [ __ ] this is what I've been doing wrong."

3:49

And they it's not only do they give you tools they also have a buddy check program all the time where you can come

3:56

in and talk to these guys and see how life are going so it's not once again it's not one of those programs that just

4:02

says one and done dump you off and send you home with things these people will try to be with you for the rest of your

4:08

life if you choose to let them be so Jen tell us what your job is in focus so I

4:15

it actually started out really organic so I my my husband started speaking out there and said "Jen this is a program

4:20

that you would absolutely love." I really always wanted to be a nurse and I thought I was going to go to nursing school work in the VA that's how I was

4:27

going to give back i served in the Marine Corps when really nothing was going on it was a pretty safe time for

4:33

me to serve i didn't know that joining but you know I was pretty young so ultimately I I didn't do anything um

4:40

significant like these guys that come through our program so when when he told me that I signed up and I started the

4:47

next session and I have been to every session but one and my best friend who

4:53

served in the Marine Corps we went to boot camp together retired from the Marine Corps that's why I missed cuz I went to her retirement but um I became a

5:00

team leader and then after that I I started working as the graduate mentor coordinator i set up the buddy checks

5:06

and the refocus calls and I and I help you wherever you need after you graduate our program and like Todd said I will

5:12

stay in contact with you for as long as you let me i email I text I call

5:17

whatever you need I I will be there and be that person for you and then um our

5:22

program coordinator went on to bigger and better for herself and so I I stepped into her position and and then

5:29

um very recently I will be the new executive director coming up in August

5:34

when Dennis Simpson decides he is is moving on to pursue his personal

5:41

business as well retirement so anyway I mean yeah it's pretty

5:46

organic but right now I'm I'm the program coordinator the graduate mentor coordinator and um eventually I'll be

5:52

the executive well here's the one thing I want to correct Jennifer on that she said was that I didn't do anything like

5:57

these guys doing coming through that's [ __ ] it doesn't matter what you did in the Marine Corps if you are having

6:03

issues and you are having problems at home this program can help and it doesn't matter if you are injured if you

6:11

were an 0311 which to me a lot of people might not know but that is infantry whether you were infantry whether you

6:17

were supply it doesn't matter if you are having struggles in life get a hold of Focus and Jen how can they do that um on

6:25

our website actually it's super easy to apply it's www.focusmarines.org and it's apply

6:31

button is probably four places on that main page so you just click on that and it will send an application i get the

6:38

application and I will call you and then I will let you know what happens from there it's pretty simple um yeah and

6:44

like Todd said you do not have to be a trigger puller you can have served in

6:50

any MOS in in any military because they have actually found that the suicide rate among those secondary MOS's other

6:57

than the the Grunts and the 0311s and the Rangers or whatever it is for the other branches they they have a higher

7:03

suicide rate and a lot of it is because they have survivors guilt or you know they didn't they weren't able to use

7:09

their training for what they thought they should be using their training for so yeah don't don't think you have to be

7:15

a trigger puller and Marines almost to the tea every single one of them will

7:20

say "Well if there's somebody else who needs my spot I'm happy to take I'm happy to wait and let somebody else take

7:27

my spot." And I'm telling you take the spot take it now because there's something that made you apply and don't

7:33

wait just come to the program i think that you know wherever you're at in your life it it will benefit you and we do

7:39

programs on the end too so if it becomes overwhelming because it's a lot of information in a short amount of time

7:45

that same information is given on a monthly basis in a much slower fashion so you don't have to worry about oh I

7:51

missed this we will talk about it on one of our refocus sessions it's a Zoom session that all graduates from all

7:58

focus classes can join and get taught the same information so and I can vouch

8:03

for that and when she hit on that 22 I it reminds me that I just lost a buddy

8:09

um yesterday and um me and George Gettis another guy that goes through focus he

8:15

was one of our our Iraq Marines and um Tim May God bless his soul um just

8:22

tragically took his life two days ago and I uh it it's not a joke people this

8:28

type of thing happens with veterans i mean he seemed happy okay and no one seen the signs and then now we're here

8:34

without Tim May so Tim May will be missed and he's a person that um could

8:40

have changed the world but we just don't know you You can never tell with veterans you know one minute they're

8:47

fine the next minute they're not we don't talk about this type of stuff and it needs to be opened up and talked about because guys are afraid that if I

8:54

talk oh I'm a I'm a [ __ ] if I say something well you know what guys no one can do this alone and I know that better

9:01

than anyone because as I've said before I tried to commit suicide on June 2nd

9:06

2016 and I've also stepped on a bomb lost all four of my limbs so if anybody knows what a rough road is it's me and

9:13

I'm telling you right now suicide is not the option it just isn't because you

9:18

never know if there's someone out there who depends on you so let's go from a little bit darker of a subject i just I

9:25

had to throw that out there because my buddy Tim May is gone and I want people to realize that you know this is

9:31

happening it's not just us saying "Oh 22 a day 22 a day." It's actually happening

9:37

and it's happening in front of our faces because people are forgetting about veterans and they're forgetting about what we've gone through and they're

9:44

forgetting about the things that we we went through and there was that magnet that said I would never forget but where

9:50

are those now everybody's forgetting and I'm okay

9:56

with that because I know life moves on but don't forget that there's people out there still fighting for you and there's

10:02

still people out there that care about you you just have to find the right programs and the right people and the right resources

10:09

so Kyle on another note actually I was going to ask a question did you state how it all got started like not you but

10:16

the the whole thing to get all together i did not but it did start by a group of veterans who just they were Vietnam era

10:22

veterans and they wanted better for the guys coming back from Afghanistan and Iraq so they got together they used

10:27

their network and two Marines became 20 Marines became 50 Marines and now it

10:32

takes probably 120 veterans to put on a program and I would say 90 to 95% of

10:39

those are Marines so it is definitely a Marines helping Marines program but not only for Marines we do reserve 10% of

10:45

our slots for other than Marines so you don't have to be a Marine to come to our program but yeah it was just guys

10:51

wanting better for the guys coming back from from this this this you know that's the that's the Marine

10:57

motto never leave a man behind and we don't care if you're Army Air Force or

11:03

Navy or Well I guess I'll say Coast Guard again a little bit but um Jen you didn't

11:11

know Kyle was Air Force nice air chair force just for a little bit that's okay my sister retired after 20 years from

11:17

the Air Force i have like mad respect listen everybody has a role to play in the military and if it wasn't for every

11:22

single one of those roles it would never get done even me as an infantry man

11:28

started to realize that when I got out that if it wasn't for supply giving me my uniforms to get trucked down to me

11:35

and all that type of stuff this it would never happen it never would i would I would run out of ammo what would I do

11:41

without ammo exactly okay so we're going to move on

11:46

um we'll talk about a little bit focus here in a little bit but we're going to get to some fun stuff so we don't bore some people you know so we're going to

11:53

do a would you rather Jen so now you Here we go we're not pulling punches this time nope would you rather have sex

11:59

with your mom with your dad's lower half or exclusively date people opposite your

12:06

normal gender preferences is that a question for me or not that's

12:11

everyone that's everyone i'm going to go with option two exclusively date other people or people opposite your normal

12:18

gender preference you know what I've started to notice and I will answer this question but a lot of these are with

12:24

your mom like yeah that's yeah you're like you know it's because would you want to do something with your mom like

12:30

that obviously the second one's the best one exclusively date people opposite your normal gender preference do you

12:37

want me to throw out the mom one and pick another one because I think I'd rather do my mom i'm not dating a dude i would totally date a girl over doing my

12:44

mom and like I said it doesn't say how long so I could just do her one time and then I got a date well I mean it didn't

12:50

But I'm not against the the other the other genders doing their preferences i'm not against it but for me it's not

12:55

for me man you got a point there i think Don't listen to my point answer off your own

13:02

yeah but you're right you've also got your dad's lower half which is probably bigger than mine

13:09

he'll be tall again yeah i mean I would have legs oh man

13:16

oh man always dodged incest hello always dodge incest hey so who's to say my

13:23

mom's my real mom she could be adop I could be adopted i mean well hatchet man

13:28

um I I'm pretty sure your mom did have you i don't think you're adopted i mean you're pretty pretty We don't We don't

13:34

know i mean I bet she knows she knows but I don't i did 23 and me i know yeah

13:41

all right another one another one because

13:47

another one because that one was kind of simple when I had Man is a friend of I know Hatchet Man is a friend of Mayhem

13:53

yeah okay i know who hatchet man is hatchet man by the way people is a guy

13:59

on my um Twitch who we are doing live through so you guys are going to hear us talk to him a little bit too would you

14:08

rather relive the moment of your birth each year on your birthday or never be

14:13

able to have sex without a condom ever again i'll go never have to be able to have sex without a condom ever again

14:21

because I haven't used one before so I should probably start i mean you did havectomy does it really

14:27

matter yeah exactly but at least I'm having sex and like you don't even remember your birth so but you would

14:34

after that what all it is is my head coming out of vagina you know what people that are born men that are born

14:42

are born out of a vagina just to spend the rest of their life trying to get back in one that That's very true

14:50

i'll do the condom thing i don't Yeah i mean I don't care yeah I would I would agree condoms just just easier we need

14:56

to get another stack like we talked about before we need to like mix these up with some We should start making our

15:01

own cards and putting them in there okay we could you know you never know well I don't write so you would have to do it

15:07

oh man you're right and I'm really lazy you're right i'm right i don't write there's an online game my kids pull it

15:13

out occasionally to play would you rather with us so let's get to know Jen a little bit Jen how Well how's your

15:19

family life what What What do you got kids actually yes i've been married 26

15:25

years i met my husband in the Marine Corps we met in Okinawa got married in Quantico totally Marine Corp okinawa or

15:31

Okinawa well I lived there for 5 years so my dad was army so that's a whole another story but yeah I grew up in I'm

15:38

an army brat so I grew up as an army brat then joined the Marine Corps and went back right back to where I graduated high school so I graduated

15:44

Okanales so anyway that's why I say Okanow but I do have five kids three of

15:49

them are mine and my sister's two kids moved in with us about a year ago so um

15:55

all girls your sister's three kids two so why why is it okay to talk about or

16:01

it's tragic i don't I don't mind talking about it my um But that that just makes you an angel because you took on someone

16:08

else's children there's some days that I don't feel very angelike cuz you know

16:13

whatever is in your heart but I do loving things i love these kids i do loving things and I had to go to therapy

16:20

to learn that just because I'm not in love with these kids doesn't mean that I don't love them you hear that people therapy helps people therapy is okay oh

16:27

my gosh so helped me and I don't think I would have survived this this tragedy in my family had I not been through focus

16:34

as many times as I have um that network that support system the information that I learned there is absolutely what

16:42

has let me do what we're doing and it's not just me my husband is has been a

16:48

huge driving force of getting these kids and we did finally get custody of one of them we're working on the second one and

16:54

see people once again see how focus has helped another person this program like I said if it's you yourself or you know

17:01

a veteran in need this program is so amazing they do it four times a year

17:08

because they can't actually fill the seats so help us fill the seats if you

17:14

know if your husband or your sp or or your brother or your sister or your

17:20

uncle or whoever it is is having trouble in life coping with the stuff that they

17:25

dealt with in the military you need to figure out what focus is because if we

17:31

can fill these seats the more programs we can have a year the more people we can help yes and we should not have

17:38

empty seats cuz we know that there there's people struggling no there should not be an empty seat in that program and then we have people scared

17:44

to come so they back out for a lot of random reasons well and like I said focus to me I I was like I don't need

17:51

that [ __ ] i can do this myself cuz I was a badass Marine i I knew what I could do i was like I need I don't need help but

17:59

come to find out I actually got tricked to go there and I won't tell the story on how

18:06

not No I'm not going to name drop on this one no I think we did with George did we i think so i might have but guys

18:14

I was against all these programs until I actually went through it and see it for myself it's not a kumbaya program it's

18:21

not hey everybody drink the Kool-Aid it's take what you want from it and

18:26

leave what you don't because there's something to learn into it there always is there always will be and I am still

18:33

myself learning from it every time I go through it but it's a foreign language you have to you have to practice it and

18:40

that's the hard part is catching yourself doing things that you've

18:45

learned through focus and then remembering to do it again it's it's retraining yourself to be a good person

18:53

and I'm not saying it that you're a bad person if you don't no it's not kyle don't put words in my mouth what I'm

18:59

saying is it can improve your interpersonal skills it'll improve your

19:05

family skills it'll improve everything doesn't change who you are no it changes

19:11

how you see things what are you looking at there Kyle oh

19:16

I'm uh trying to position cards so that they make their easier so now you're

19:22

cheating to see which ones are cool kind of no now you're fired you can't do that see you just got fired can you just let

19:29

me explain yes i'm I'm choosing ones that pair better together so it's a harder choice no because then you're

19:35

cheating then you're cheating you're cheating don't cheat i don't like cheaters send them back put them back no

19:40

kyle you're fired i'm already We're not playing again okay because you're cheating you're looking at them going

19:45

"Hm these are going to be fun." Yeah then make up your own i I can't I'm not creative well then that's why you

19:52

shouldn't be going you just had like three that we went through that were not arguing and we have a guest i know so

19:59

stop arguing no we're not married anymore my show and you stop doing that [ __ ] we're not married anymore you can

20:04

me around kyle shot time screw ball screw ball I love you

20:10

introduce us to your world of loveliness so smooth and delicious yum

20:18

yes it is yes it is oh we got three bitters three viewers i'm sorry that's

20:24

better thanks Kyle what's better what's better Chevy man

20:30

i don't know what's better i don't know which would would you rather oh he already cheed he Would you rather step

20:36

in dog poop at least once every time you leave the house or have your hands feel like they're covered in lube at all

20:42

times okay so wait a minute those are the two you picked out that you thought would be hard no no no i said I was

20:49

choosing ones and pairing them together to make them not so drastically easy put Put

20:56

them back in scream yeah screw me scream you're fired cowie which would you rather do Kie i'd

21:02

rather step in dog poop cuz these in my shoes i don't have feet you don't have hands either exactly so this one's not

21:08

good for me i thought you were pairing them up when they were good kyle jen what do you think Jen i would step in dog poop cuz I could stage another pair

21:14

of shoes i could work it out ween should we fire Kyle i don't like stuff on Jen

21:20

should we fire Kyle it's It's once every house though jen should we fire Kyle no

21:27

he just made a I don't have feet or hands and he's saying he's preparing them to make it easy freaking buttons for you let him stay he doesn't press

21:34

buttons i can do that myself i play this video game i'm trying to help him out no you're

21:40

trying you're trying to be nice stop being nice you were a Marine for God's sake a nice person you were a Marine for

21:46

God's sakes i know and what did you do in the Marine Corps Jen tell us yeah what did you do first I did payroll

21:52

payroll mhm hey I got paid pretty successful i paid because of Jay i did yeah how great did you reach in i was a

21:59

corporal and they promoted me once I got out but I will never claim sergeant cuz I never pinned it on so I was a corporal

22:05

can I pin it on you absolutely not why not cuz that scares the [ __ ] out of me you're going to pound it into my blade

22:11

like Wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute i cussed i'm so sorry no you

22:16

didn't cuss i say [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] all the time perfect yeah i Yeah no that scares me i already put on this program rated R

22:24

yeah at the gala they were telling people about it and they were like rated R across the street nice but yes I would

22:32

pin it on you nice maybe no I I mean it's been so what happened when you got your bloodstripes I was about to ask

22:38

what rank is that so hazing was very looked down upon when I got promoted to it's always looked upon and they were

22:44

making a big stink about it and so I was hoping that you guys would do what's the one thing you don't know about somebody

22:50

and so anyway I have a story if you do that But um yeah okay so what's the one

22:56

thing you don't know i want to hear this you just brought the segment in so when I served back in the like 93 to97 sexual

23:03

harassment was just kind of coming out as the Marines were way I sexually harass everybody i'm an HR nightmare

23:10

totally every single day i think you know if if you're being technical in the Marine Corps it's going to come up it

23:16

really is and it it maybe shouldn't be that way but it is you're joining a group of guys so I think you should know

23:21

what you're walking into however it was really really bad and so they actually

23:26

um came to Quantico and casted me in a sexual harassment move movie movie so I

23:32

played a sexual harass harassed victim i I guess maybe I thought you looked familiar i must have seen that can I be

23:39

HR for Focus oh my gosh hilarious there's It would be hilarious but I think we'd have a ton of lawsuits we

23:45

only have three people who actually you know take a paycheck from Focus because we try to make sure all of our money

23:50

goes towards towards our program that is that is our fiduciary responsibility so that's awesome yeah there's not a lot of

23:57

people that And that's why I work with these programs because 90% of the money at least goes out to veterans correct

24:03

yeah and if it's not 90 I'll take 85 you know that's close it's better than all

24:10

12 and you're throwing parties for people down in Florida and all your crew members and I'm not going to name names

24:15

on which organization that is but I think we all know i really don't and we're not going to do another would you

24:21

rather i'm not I'm putting a bag do you not see what I'm doing you picked the worst one you said I'm going to make

24:27

this fun and then you put I didn't say anything about fun i said I'd match them closer together you're just fired for

24:33

the day you need to You need to take a break deal deal well I don't see you leaving

24:41

oh don't leave i'm just kidding i love you but yeah um we got a lot of people that usually listen to this episode

24:48

which kind of kind of yeah i don't I don't even know who does anymore because we're on streaming platforms and no one

24:53

comes to our stuff it's on Instagram when does the [ __ ] end it's on Instagram i've asked people to come

24:59

leave questions it is on um Twitter twitter you can leave us questions there

25:06

and we're going to start going live here soon who's that fierce TV who is the goof with the LG jersey on yeah [ __ ] you

25:14

fears that's me that would be the guy with no arms and legs quad amputt and you know why

25:20

I'm wearing it cuz I [ __ ] bought it

25:26

oh well I'm a fan i listen to every one of your shows i think it's amazing yeah

25:32

well we're trying to build a fan base and that and that's where we're at right now is building the fan base and

25:37

bringing in people see I don't want celebrities i want people like you that can help veterans and people like my

25:44

friends and people like other people who can help veterans i want people from the VA to come in here and be like "Here's

25:50

what we can do for you here." You know because a lot of people don't have those resources they don't have

25:58

the the information that is needed to drive them to do what they need to do

26:03

they think that oh the VA sucks well guess what you're not you're not digging into the resources though the VA might

26:10

suck on a medical sand spot but they don't suck on the resources they can give you okay you know because I've been

26:17

through it the And it's getting better donald Trump made it better and I That's damn right i said that Donald Trump [ __ ]

26:22

you Joe Biden go awesome

26:27

what is your favorite Todd story oh my gosh we're doing this one we do it with every single guest let's go Brandon

26:37

let's go Brandon kind of why Brandon oh dude okay before she tells her Todd

26:43

story I'm going to fill you in on this i didn't know it either but there was this guy who won a NASCAR race and his name

26:49

was Brandon and in the background everybody's going "Fuck Joe Biden." And

26:55

all of a sudden the the lady who's interviewing goes "Well listen to all your friends they're saying "Let's go

27:02

Brandon." So I didn't know either i didn't know for a long time I was like what's this let's go Brandon thing but

27:08

let's go Brandon is actually a term for [ __ ] Joe Biden okay okay so favorite

27:14

Todd Nicely story okay so I I did not know Todd yet i'd seen him at Focus i'm not a very outgoing person generally so

27:21

I don't just walk until she knows you myself it takes me a minute to kind of you know warm up like a normal person

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yeah i understand i'm not like that we know and Todd's not he's very outgoing so he kind of intimidated me so I stayed

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a little bit away but why do I intimidate people you're half mechanical very loud and everybody's laughing

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around you so that's not a conversation to step in on it just seemed awkward so I never did and so anyway I was told you

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had a rugby thing going on so I went to one of his rugby matches actually took my daughter it was I don't know it was

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right before but you knew me a long time before this let's make that a fact i did i guess we weren't close we hadn't

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really talked yeah we really hadn't talked a lot we had mixed we hadn't like really chatted i didn't really know much

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about you i just knew she was at focus i was at focus you know yeah so I I went to his his uh his rugby tournament and

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we're watching and that is like if you've not seen it that is crazy i know i loved every second of it wait let's

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not say rugby it's wheelchair rugby wheelchair rugby but Todd spent more time in the penalty box for ramming

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people and being so aggressive they kicked him out like every five minutes he was in the penalty box i like to hit

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people was dying i was like "Okay well that makes a lot of sense that totally is Todd that's Todd's personality let's

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run into people." He was the only guy out there with all of you know his situation going on without his limbs and

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he was the most aggressive guy like all but see that's what my coach did amazing i loved it it was that's what my coach

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did she'd be like "I never really played much." And then she'd be like "All right I'm tired of this guy." She'd be like "Todd just go out there and hit him and

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hit him and hit him just that's your guy that is your guy just hit him and hit him and hit him i don't care what's

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going on on the rest of the court you just go out there and hit this dude and I'd be like bam bam bam bam just running

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into him wheelchair and I just followed him around the court just hitting him blocking him holding them that was my

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guy yeah he took it seriously it was amazing i took my daughter she was probably 14 or 15 at the time and she

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was like "When's the next one?" And so we just kept waiting for the next tournament and then co happened but sad

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thing happened um with my uh I got to take my hat off for this one it's

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like I found out I have heart issue and so I have to have a pacemaker put in so

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I can't play wheelchair rugby anymore unless I got a clearance from the heart doctor and sign a waiver with the uh USW

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or whatever wheelchair rugby thing but I missed last season because I found that out and it really sucks because I didn't

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know this stuff existed like when I was going through Walter Reed and stuff no one told me about this if I would have

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found this 10 years ago I would have been I'd be a wheelchair rugby champion for sure i never found it out because no

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one ever told me my resources and my stuff that I needed to know and that was was the problem with the VA but now

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they're getting better at least with me i don't know about anybody else but that

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I think it's kind of cuz they're like trying to hush me up so I don't blow him up on the spot like I did one time i

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blew him up on the spot one time and the White House called me perfect and you know what now I got in the VA in

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Jefferson barracks in St louis i have my own little Todd Nicely bin of stuff that they need to keep because it should be

30:44

there you know like if my arm breaks you shouldn't have to order the wires you

30:49

should already know that I'm having this issue with the wires so when Trump came into office and I hate going back to

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presidency stuff i'm not I I hate talking politics but when Trump came

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into office the VA had turned around to a

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360° that I couldn't believe it you mean 180° no 360 so they came right back

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around to the same sun no they did better [ __ ] you Kyle

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see this is why Kyle gets fired every episode but no they did better it wasn't

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180 they did a complete 360 which means they started at shitty and came back to

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better you know cuz you can only do 360 kyle quit shaking your head at me

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see we're live now and this is where it gets better see see [ __ ] because if you go

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360 you're better right back at the start buddy not if you learn the lesson at 180 and come back around 360° is

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exactly where you started from kyle I'm not going to argue with you about this you can you don't have to argue it's math man it's literal math this is my

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podcast Kyle and I'll say 360 if you know what you can it's my podcast we should get a t-shirt that says I had a

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360 we should also get a t-shirt that says Kyle's fire we should [Laughter]

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oh so Jen um what extracurricular activities do you enjoy oh my gosh I'm

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not that great at it but I really love working out like you couldn't tell that from looking at me but Oh shut up Jen

32:24

jen you are a slimmer slender slim woman i'm not even going to go with an

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age-wise because I could be wrong 29 is the correct answer 29 is the exact correct answer absolutely perfect cuz

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I'm barely barely 29 like I said I'm an HR nightmare jen is a hottie a I don't think you can be bad at

32:45

working out well I'm Yeah okay I will give you that brian I'm sorry but sometimes when I look at you I'm like

32:51

how the [ __ ] did you pull Jen a He's so sweet he's sweet but Jen you're a hottie

32:56

see see guys you can be sweet and pull a hottie and he's funny and he's a good

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good man i love Brian i love Brian i can't wait to have bottle glasses i don't know why no no no no wait till we

33:07

meet Brian we're going to have him on he's an entrepreneur who can shed light on other people on how to open up

33:12

businesses or how to do things he's going to be a great guy to have on it's her husband they wanted to come at the

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same time but I was like "No you guys will [ __ ] talk over each other." We we really need the the the the final

33:25

setup that we have and then then that would have worked just fine because we would have had everybody recording on

33:30

different levels right and yeah that that No even if I wouldn't have wanted

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to do them at the same time that's fair cuz this gives them each their own time to speak about what they want i've been

33:41

with them they overt talk each other yeah i mean we've been married a long time so it happens 26 years I've heard

33:47

26 years yes yeah you were 3 years old that's kind of weird no judgment here hey hey she was in a

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Mormon She was in a Mormon uh community gotcha pre-arranged marriage yeah that's

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one thing I'm not ashamed of is my marriage i will not my marriage my age i will cover my gray yeah yeah obviously

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my wrinkles whatever but yeah I I'm not ashamed of my age i am I am what I am

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i'm 47 i'm happy to be 47 i've learned a lot in my Whoa you're 47 i really

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thought you were 29 wow see we got the edge out of her anyway we didn't know i'm not embarrassed about my age i

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actually listen to this so when I first met Jen it was at Focus she was wearing a green shirt it wasn't that I was

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intimidated of her but I kind of thought she had a stick up her ass yeah until I met her and actually started talking to

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her and she's a fun gungo going loving person just like any other Marine you know that's a similar story I heard that

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she thought you had a stick up your ass and then she was correct i did

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i actually fell on the plunger in the bathroom when she met me is that true it is true you got to set up this story we

34:52

had to break it off and pull it out it was weird that's not true this is true

34:59

this would say this would make my day i would really enjoy this story don't you think I would have told you if

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a plunger was in my No dude i The hook was in your ass yeah the hook was you know about the hook story the hook yeah

35:11

you never told me about the hook until we were on this well that's probably where she heard it it is where I heard

35:18

That's true you're right listen she listens to the podcast i do i really enjoy it i think it's awesome to see you

35:25

you know what that I that I've heard though is that like people are like you guys this is your first go around i'm

35:30

like yeah and they're like you guys don't really have many pauses and ums and you keep it going that's because Todd Todd's the master he can continue

35:37

on a conversation with himself it's awesome well if this is live it is not edited this is Oh it's We don't edit a

35:44

do it this is amazing i We don't edit anything whatever happens happens but the only reason that it continues is

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because there's seven people in there and we never get bored yep that's true

35:56

oh man we reached 35 minutes yes we have this might be the longest one that we've ever done no it is not last week's was

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No that was only 31 in no it was 41 was it yes let's make Jen talk a little bit

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more about herself oh a lot about herself actually let's do would you rather again okay this is random yeah I

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hope so you fruit ball fruit cake thank you i don't like cake ball

36:23

uh would you rather find out you'll die one year from today or yell dirty pigs

36:28

every time you see a cop dirty pigs cops are dirty pigs okay well see that was

36:34

easy but no I would rather find out if I'm going to die here today cuz then I'd go get a bunch of loans and I jump from

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today yeah I'd jump out of an airplane and just go yeah but I mean that would

36:45

just leave everybody else to pay your debt since you're married yes yes it would i would get divorced before I did

36:51

Well then that's different you'd have to do that i'll put it all in a trust and then No no no i would just live my life

36:56

up and then the day I was supposed to die I would just free fall from the sky without a parachute man that'd be

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amazing i would if I knew that I was going to die that day for certain

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100% I would just jump out of a plane and just Okay well the question was from today not you learn in a you know right

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and that's what I'm saying i knew in a year I would do all the fun [ __ ] I could and then on the day I was supposed to

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die so you'd rather just leave us now i see how it is you know we're only worth a year to you you know yeah that's cool

37:28

that's fine it says I'm going to die in a year yeah but you had a choice buddy you had a choice to either die in a year

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or to live you know but you know you chose death no I chose the one that I thought was most suiting you chose death

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i chose the wild side mhm i would have chose Dirty Pigs too cuz

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you know I didn't want to leave my family after a year jen we're getting close to where I like to cut it off

37:53

because I don't like to keep our um podcast running too long i think we could sit here and talk all night long

37:59

with Jen she's a good one we'll have her back for sure thanks but um is there anything you would like to say or like

38:05

to let the viewers know well I I think I need to talk about focus like Yeah well you got to do it and give them the do it

38:12

again yeah come check out our website we have an amazing website our application is

38:17

very easy to find it's at focusmarines.org and if you feel like you aren't sure if you want to apply

38:23

email help at focusmarines.org and I will respond to you and give you more

38:29

information if you're not finding it on our website but I I absolutely if you think that you may benefit from our

38:35

program and not only you someone you may know no exactly thank you Todd please please please please apply because these

38:42

programs are out there and they want to help and they want to serve and it is your time if you feel like it's your

38:47

time and to get help that's what I mean by your time to come get help and and to

38:53

make your life better and whatever that means for you and then you'll get to meet this lovely lady too cuz she's

38:59

there every session every session and then sometimes I just come up and tell

39:04

her she's beautiful for fun do you really he's very nice does he really nice guy

39:10

yes okay just making sure you know I am I'm nice when I want to be Kyle never to

39:16

me before he asks me for something he seems very nice no bull crap every

39:21

morning I'm like "You're beautiful i love your hair." And you're like "Shut up Todd what do you want Todd

39:27

i want you to help me get my food." Yeah oh by the way Fierce told you that you are Joseé Jalapeno on a stick i am not

39:35

Joseé Jalapeno on a stick if anything if anything I'll kill you oh you're Amed

39:41

yeah I'm Amed okay well well we had five viewers in here hey thanks everybody for coming in

39:48

on our Twitch viewer setup um spread the word we're going to try to get this onto YouTube soon i can't wait till this

39:55

thing starts to blow up spread the word about our podcast uh Kyle tell everybody where we can find him uh we can find uh

40:02

Todd on Instagram When Does [ __ ] End Twitter at the same handle and also YouTube all the same handle when does

40:09

the [ __ ] end [ __ ] is FKR Y that's right don't forget that and I only put

40:14

it FKR Y in case it gets big and I can make t-shirts and hats and stuff let's say

40:19

[ __ ] so Jen anything else you want to say on an outgoing message thanks for having me i just say [ __ ] you one time i

40:26

am jen say [ __ ] you say [ __ ] [ __ ] you oh we're here woo uh we really talk about

40:34

the sponsors too uh we will but you know we already did i got to focus sponsor next episode okay we're out

40:41

peeps see you

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[Music]

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later [Music]

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heat heat [Music]