Mysterious Notes

Mystery abounds in many areas of life, especially when your mother uses technology. Join Aubrey today as she pieces together random found scribblings and encounters notes she’s saved over the years.

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And welcome to Aubrey the Podcast. 

In this episode, I talk about astrology, mysterious notes I find, email spam, Jupiter and Neptune, ancient symbols, mythical birds, and then I dip my toe into knowing who you are. 

All right, let's go.

Let me just start with saying, I was looking for something to talk about today, and I found the weirdest things all over the place. Well, I was going to talk about some astrology and I was also kind of organizing the books on my shelves, and there was one with a Post-It note hanging out of a book  called THE ASTROLOGY SOURCE.

I was like, "Well, that's messy looking and let me get that posted out." And then I looked at the Post-It and it's in my mother's handwriting and it says, "Read Libra|Aries. Interesting." 

Now, I have no understanding or memory of, first of all, my mother doesn't understand astrology. I mean, I wish I could record, I'd like to record her... actually, I'm going to do that.

I'm going to record her trying to explain what I do just so people can hear how this doesn't make sense. "Read Libra|Aries. Interesting." 

So I have no idea why she had her hands on this book when she had her hands on this book, and if the notice for me or for her. Anyway, found that my mother, oh my goodness.

I have lots of mother stories. I'll save them for another time. But you know, suffice it to say she can't explain astrology and she doesn't really understand it. She just thinks it's sort of interesting. 

And then I found, I was looking through my phone and I was saying, "Okay, well maybe there's some topics in my phone that I can talk about" because that's why I'm doing this podcast because all I do is collect ideas and lists of ideas and I have so many ideas I could sell them like commodities.

So this podcast is an attempt to use some of these ideas, you know, a little output. I have a lot of input, less output. 

So I literally have a note on my. This is a standalone note that says "California likes to party." 

Okay. 

I also have a photo with a date and time written on it, and it's a picture of someone who left gum on a doorbell of a house we used to live in. And for some reason I took a picture of the gum on the doorbell and I wrote a date and time on it, like Sherlock Holmes or something. 

I have another note on my phone that literally only says these four names. Mini Driver, Elizabeth Perkins, Terry Hatcher, and Tate Donovan. I don't know. That was an important note to make on June 23rd, 2014.

So. Yeah. I also went through my emails to see if there's anything I needed to talk about from emails. And the thing I realize pretty much every single day is that my spam blocker doesn't really work. Just doesn't work. I mean, there are countless Russian prostitutes trying to hook my attention.  

This is what I want to know.

If you're a spam blocker company, how do you design software that the email subject 'vagina' gets through or the subject C$NT  F&CKER that got through. 

I didn't find anything in my emails to talk about. 

So maybe today I will talk about some astrology. I just wanna say, I think part of the reason I'm happy I'm an astrologer is because I would love for one day for it to be just like being a psychologist.

You wouldn't say, "Oh, you're a psychologist. You study the mind," because astrology is just as well, in some ways, just as ordinary as psychology is at this point. And it's a little more malleable because it's not just science. There is some science to it, but it's also an an art. 

I'm just happy it's becoming more mainstream and that not everyone thinks astrologers are wackadoos or all look like wizards or they don't get it confused with palm reading, which is a valuable tool in and of itself. 

But astrologers are not witches. Witches are witches. I mean, some astrologers are witches, obviously, and some witches are astrologers. Just like some accountants are musicians and some actors are contractors, some bankers are dancers. You know, let's loosen up the definitions for all people

So I'm really happy that astrology is more mainstream because it's gotten a bad rap for a long time. Now some of that is astrologer's fault because there are plenty of bad astrologers, just like there's plenty of bad doctors and plenty of negligent bankers and poor representation in every profession.

But it did not help the astrology profession that a lot of astrologers for a period of time. We're trying to just be fortune tellers or write horoscopes, and nothing is wrong with any of that, but it distorts the value of this amazing study and tool. So I'm just saying I'm glad. 

Do you ever notice how in any movie or, well, not any, but you know, a lot of times like the Mystic or the person that's the herbalist or the practitioner of healing arts, or the one who's dealing with astrology or magic in a movie or television show or something, they'll have like one milky eye.

You know? It's like I have like some leaves in the hair. 

I am really happy that everything is growing past that. All right. Just wanted to say that. Okay. Yay, astrology. 

I'm going to read something that I wrote about control, because I was thinking a lot about Saturn. I was thinking about Virgo. I was also thinking about Taurus.

Actually. I was thinking about Aries and I was thinking about how much we're going through all these outer planet transits are intense. So in 2020, In 2021, we had Saturn and Jupiter and Pluto all going through Capricorn. We still have Pluto and Capricorn. The shadow side of of Capricorn is like an overbearing amount of control order in the court.

I should say it favors planets that are in its sign with conservatism, traditionalism, controlling, authoritarian sort of nature. So it's Saturn, which is controlling by itself, which meets challenges and it restricts Saturn restricts and stops and limits. And so when I was thinking about limits, this is where I started actually, I was thinking about.

And then I was thinking about human behavior and about how everything seems to boil down to control. So I wrote a little piece that I'll just read because it'll probably come out clearer than if I tried to paraphrase it and act like I was supernatural. My brain souls just firing in perfect sequence.

Okay. I think modern human behavior literally boils down to just two efforts, improvement and control, which is really just one. Control, which is really about controlling change, which is really about resisting change, which is really about avoiding the unknown, which is really about having a relationship with the unknown or god, universal field, higher power, et cetera.

Everything we think, say and do is evidence of how we relate to God, the source of all. And as an aside, aside, I do use the word 'God.' I like the word God. I think God is a simple way of summing up profound higher power. This is my aside. I'm not saying God in a religious way to divide or repel. You just replace it in your mind with whatever you can hear.

Everything we think, say, and do is evidence of how we relate to the source of. Things you can try to defend your achievements, your love of excellence, and say, no. It's just that I realize I've got this life and I appreciate it, and I just want to make every effort to live well and be happy. Fine. I say to you, that's valid, but if you look at how you define your starting place, where you're striving from, what you're striving toward, 9.9 times out of 10, we are living from the illusion that we can find happiness, become more, become better, and have a life that is much improved from our current day-to-day state.

All aspirations that arise out of a lack of satisfaction with where and who we are right now or reliably. A fear of sitting in the house of the great unknown. This is what's actually running the show all the time. And we know this, even if we pretend that we don't know it or think it's not true, we are always sitting in the house of the great unknown.

We are always sitting in the house of the great unknown. The Great Unknown wants us to be comfortable in its house, invites us to settle in and put our feet up all the time. It tries so many different tactics, boring, ordinary attempts to get us to see that it runs the. Not us. You rehearse and memorize the speech, walk out on stage and go blank in front of 500 people.

What comes out of your mouth for the next 30 minutes is more inspired and moves the audience to their feet. Your plane is canceled. You book another mope around Hudson News, complain into your cell phone than sit next to someone on the rescheduled flight who changes your life. You order and think you're getting the omelet without ham.

The omelet comes out littered with smokey. You send it back and watch your table mates eat. You reflect with gratitude that you even get to order food in a restaurant at all. Or perhaps you just reflect and slow down and have a deeper thought about expectations. The omelet becomes a moment. Your spiritual connection deepens.

You blow up at your partner, expecting him or her to have read your mind about something, spending the next week recovering from and marveling at your bizarre behavior, vow never to make assumptions again. Ha.

Traffic, lateness, unexpected diseases that teach us and deepen us if we are lucky. What would happen if we set our watches to remind each other on the hour, each hour, "I know nothing," It would chime. 

It's "What if? o'clock," your watch would say. 

How about letting a conversation just unfold naturally? No agenda. No plan. More listening. Pure spontaneityfor once. (Aubrey says that she reads this). 

I mean, even on the red carpet of some award shows this past weekend, the host said repeatedly, "What story are you telling with that dress?What story are you trying to tell us with that?" 

I was like, "My God, just chat. What forced faux depth. It's a red carpet."

Control even trying to improve something as stupid and meaningless as the red carpet interview. 

So there you go. Those are my thoughtson control. 

What we are in the midst of is a change.In controlling forces, a change in how we respond to forces of control and how we respond with our own controlling natures. Saturn is in Aquarius. Something is being updated and I feel like there is more of a all for one. One for all coming group forces will become a more powerful control. Aquarius is community, humanity, humanitarian efforts, challenges. 

Anyway, I'm not gonna go down that, but then we're gonna get into Saturn and Pisces and softens and brings a lot of heart to the notion of authority and control. So that's on control. Okay. That's enough astrology. Actually, you know what? On my website, I'm gonna put a whole list of resources of places.

I love to go for astrological information to share them with you because I'm just taking a lot of other people's information and kind of blending it with my own ideas and everything I've learned. But a lot of the times I just take stuff straight from Rob Hand or Stephen Forrest Astrologers have to look things up too. They do all the time. 

I came out in. It's like a full length dress. It's all white. I came out of my office and my husband comes around the corner and he goes, "Whoa, what are you doing?" So I look like a deacon, like a visiting deacon. He's like, "You look like an angel or a cult member."  And I think they're all compliments. I think I, I don't know. 

It's kind of fun to wear something crazy around your home. That's one of the benefits of working from the house, isn't it? I mean, honestly, it really is. I don't mind lazy dressing at all. I don't actually think lazy is a bad word. I mean, lazy dressing, lazy. I don't know. I maybe I just sort of missed the cultural call to not be, I don't know.

It's kind of a funny word. 

You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna read something. I'm just gonna read something random. I'm going to do biblio...? I'm gonna close my eyes. Well, I know these are all astrology books and I just did a lot of astrology, so maybe I won't do those. I'll go over here. I don't know what these are. 

Let's see what I pulled.

Okay, I pulled, Ooh, okay. I pulled relationships and life cycles by Stephen Aroyo and I opened up to the life houses or houses of identity. 

Do I wanna read this?

I feel like I've done enough astrology. I'm not in the mood for this. Let me do it again. 

I'm gonna get up and do it cuz these are all astrology books.

I'll be right back.

Okay. I pulled Echoes of the Ancient Skies: The Astronomy of Lost Civilizations. 

This is a book I haven't really read. Is there any stars? No, I haven't read it. 

Just as a side note, I have a book problem and I used to feel a little bit guilty about the fact that I haven't read many to most, not most, but like two thirds of the books that I have, I have not read. 

Wait, no, no. Sorry. I don't understand. 

My mom FaceTimed me. What the heck? 

You don't understand. This is a woman who doesn't know how to use a computer. How in the world does she even know how to FaceTime? 

That is just bizarre. I, I can't even tell you. She's computer illiterate. She's phone illiterate and she is FaceTiming.

I get these calls. Am I doing it right? Did you get it? I sent it. Did you get it? Did you get it? Well, where is it? Where'd it go? What do I push? Well, where'd it go? Can you, where is it? Is it broken? Can you get it? It's not working. 

It's like, oh my God. This is a woman who, when she got her first computer, like the laptop Pros, like 15 years ago, she looked at a keyboard, like looked down on it and got kind of silent.

She was like stunned. And she turned and said she was witnessing some sort of alien artifact and she said it doesn't go A, B, C, D, E, F, G. 

So I mean, the fact that she just FaceTimed me is just completely bizarre. 

Okay, so I opened up to the symbolswe draw. I'm just gonna read the first paragraph and see if it's even interesting to talkabout.

"The pecked crosses of Mesoamerica stand for something. They are symbols that spoke in a compressed visual language to those who used them. Their design emerged from the key elements of the message they contained." 

What are we talking about? The pecked crosses. I should see what a pecked crosses. 

Oh.

Quartered circle. Oh, a peck cross is a quartered circle. 

See, we learned something. It's also the symbol for the earth. 

"The cross is usually the access mundy. It's where spirit meets matter." 

So this is talking about pecked crosses and they're all over this continent. 

Oh, I think I'm gonna read this book.

Okay. "There is no question that the pecked crosses of Mesoamerica stand for something. They are symbols that spoke in a compressed visual language to those who used them. Their design emerged from the key elements of the message they contained, and anyone sharing the belief system that produced them could understand what they meant.

Our culture is symbols of its own, and when we see them, we recognize their meaning without necessarily dealing with it in detail. One major television network puts its identity in a stylized peacock whose fanning tale contains a feather for each color in the rainbow. An ancient tayo, tayo, wa wa. Would be hard pressed to explain the periodic appearances of this fantastic mythological bird on the screen of ever-changing images.

Numerological significance would be sensed with the realization that the bird only appears when a movable dial indicates a certain number. Of course we who interact with the environment television creates really, can I read? Of course. We who interact with the environment television creates, realize the peacock represents the network's pride in its programming and the multi- hued tail feathers are an illusion to color broadcasting."

Well, I don't even think I ever got that. 

"Another network by contrast, confronts us with an eye abstracted into a symbol that implies the active viewing, which of course is what television is all about. 

Okay, this is not that interesting yet.

"These are commercial emblems from a secularized age, of course, but they do their job."

Okay. That's sort of interesting. 

"Through symbolic recognition, they create identity. We know what we are dealing with when we see them. It is equally possible to condense the principles of cosmic order into sacred symbols. These become familiar images which orient the viewer and integrate him or  her into the world structure they represent." 

And this gets really dense. I feel like I'm getting into like a term paper, but it is interesting. Maybe I'll just read this and come back to it some other time so it crosses and Oh, Lord. 

Well it is interesting. I mean, symbols were how everything was labeled and labels are really interesting.

I'm kind of obsessed with labels. It's sort of why I got into astrology, because I want answers about these so-called labels. Probably cuz I never quite fit into my labeled group—WASP. 

I fit in theoretically. Label wise, it fits. White—check. Anglo Saxon—check. What's the other part? Oh, Protestant—check. But that doesn't really describe who people are or who I am.

I sort of feel like I, I always needed like an adjective, like to modify the WASP label. I think I went with Bohemian or Mystic, which would make me a Wahemian, or WASPic. 

Labels are super interesting to me, probably because I've always been trying to defy them. I'm just sort of thinking, why is that and does everyone try to defy their labels in order to grow an identity?

I don't know. I'm not sure. 

Does every teenager rebel? Does every, I mean, it's not a matter of like or dislike. I just don't wanna only be defined by where I come from or like what I look like. I'm actually not even that concerned with where I come from or what I look like, but I am slightly concerned about what other people perceive from where I come from and what I look like.

I mean, honestly, like Fox News has completely ruined blonde hair, but I don't wanna sacrifice my hair color, my comfort with it, because I'm afraid people are gonna think I look like a Fox News Conservative or Fox News bimbo. I don't know. 

I guess I come from a world where there were like three things that you would use to deduce who someone is.

It's the "What do you do?" "Where do you live?" And then someone's shoes, I don't know. So what, what someone's wearing. 

All of that is completely up for grabs. Now 'what do you do?' is, I just don't even feel like it's the same kind of status oriented question in many circles or in different generation. 

I guess.

Well, that's debatable. 

Where do you live? Doesn't matter anymore, and what someone is wearing is completely hidden on Zoom and you know, people are destroying the boundaries between, it's all democratized now anyway, so it's hard to dress exclusively. 

Does anyone actually really know who they are? 

I feel like confidence is through the roof in millennials and younger.

I have never met such confident people. In fact, I asked a friend who was in that generation a few years ago, I was like, "What is it with your generation? Everyone is so confident." 

I was part of this women's sort of entrepreneurial group. I joined it as an act of trying to boost my own entrepreneurial confidence and skills, and it was mostly millennial women, and I have never met such a brassy can-do group of women in my life.

Not in an obnoxious way in this mysterious, oh my God, you guys are alien to the culture I grew up in where you don't speak until you're an expert, or you don't speak until you're an authority figure and you have to earn your way into a position, and you have respect for status to a fault. 

I'm 53 and a lot of women in my generation, sort of five years on either side are really constricted by this idea of, "Am I good enough?"  "Do I know enough?"  "Uh, who am I to step out and be an expert?" 

Millennials and the ones below, they'll take a weekend workshop and come out and be like, "Monetize your social." 

They would, they've only, they could've only been using a certain platform for four days. They're weekend workshop warriors, and that doesn't mean they're all like that.

I'm just talking about the confidence piece is powerful. 

I still don't think that goes with knowing who you are. Knowing who you are comes over a lifetime— or does it? Do some people just naturally know who they are? 

I don't know actually. I think some people think they know who they are. Maybe that's what it is.

I think some people think they know who they are. And then they hold onto that as if it's never gonna change. And when they do start to change and those labels start to change, they might go on some sort of exploratory crisis discovery quest to find out who they are. And oh my God, I never knew who I was, but you didn't know who you were. You just changed. 

And then there's other people I think like me who are always looking for more stability in the label. The "Who am I?" label. Because who I am on Tuesday can be very different from who I am on Wednesday. And what I keep discovering is that the "Who am I?" is fairly indescribable and that's okay.

And I think what I don't like is people over describing things. That's the problem I have with labels. I don't like false stability, false confidence in stability. 

I don't mind an opinion, but what I really have a problem with is opinions that don't change or people who aren't willing to change their opinions.

But what I came here to learn is to actually voice an opinion, which I will do. And I'm trying to do, knowing full well that I might have to circle back and say, "Actually, I don't think that at all. Actually, I didn't know what I was talking about." I'll have to have a few blonde moments where I feel fairly dumb and feel that I'm risking looking dumb.

And you know what? Everyone has dumb moments. Everyone. Everyone has dumb moments. Some people have more dumb moments than others, but everyone has dumb moments.

I'll brandish some opinions, you know, put them out for public consumption. Then I'll have to come back and eat crow. I'll misspeak about something, I'll say something unintentionally, fill in the blank and that's okay.

What I know is my intentions are good, my heart is full of pure intention, and if I misspeak, you can always learn and apologize. And I can also disagree with people who think I've misspoken. I won't get into what I'm thinking about that. 

The thing about Aubrey the podcast is I'm discovering what this is as I go along. Much like a writer might discover what they're writing as they start to write a book. I don't have anything that I wanna convince you of. I don't have anything I'm trying to sell, although I would like to have sponsors at some point, and they will only be things I'm fanatical about. 

I think I've learned something from my millennial friends and I'm trying to be more confident and I'm trying to share my opinions because I sure learn a lot from other people sharing their opinions.

I don't know. I think that's all I have to say. 

I hope you like this.

I always think about getting older or growing. I don't try as hard as I used to, which is a weird thing to think when you're doing a podcast because conceivably I am trying to be noticed here. Really, all I'm trying to do is unclog the pipes because I have so much input and I need to balance it and share it.

So I'm going to get a conversation going. I'm going to ask for questions. I want to apply everything I've learned for all my years of work and study in astrology and Feng Shui and Chinese medicine, and I wanna apply it to real world problems or relationship help. That'll be "ASK AUBREY." 

I'm just being me and I don't know what the end result will be.

So that's why I'm being as general as possible by calling it AUBREY the PODCAST; to just be myself and as natural and as ordinary as possible, while still being appreciated. 

That's what I was gonna say is my aging philosophy is like, how ordinary can I get away with being and still be relevant and appreciated?

That's the trick. 

All right, I'm gonna end with the thought that everything's gonna be okay. Everything will be okay. I've gotta believe that because I believe that people are inherently good and kind. So... 

It's another reason I do astrology because it shows what the high response to the energies of the times are.

So itis possible. It shows that it is possible that Mars can be motivation and drive and force for good and not just war and anger and conflict. 

That Aries can be a brave warrior that protects and not just a warrior that attacks. 

And astrology shows both potentials, and I'm on the side of humanity. I believe people are genuinely kind and caring.

I believe we genuinely care about each other. I mean, look, you're in a lecture or an auditorium or some sort of talk with lots of people, and the speaker sneezes, the entire room says, "God bless you." 

Human beings are genuinely kind and care for each other, so look for the little proof. 

That's it.  

Okay, bye.