Why You Keep Ditching the Plan (Even When You Want to Stick With It) [Ep 67]

Ever set a realistic plan, fully commit to your goals, and still find yourself skipping the workout or reaching for extra treats instead of sticking to the plan? You’re not alone — and it’s not just about willpower. In this episode, Lisa explores the concept of “rebellious excitement,” and the sneaky mindset that makes you ditch your carefully crafted plan in favor of quick relief or pleasure.

Lisa explains how this inner rebel is rooted in psychological reactance, our brain’s pushback when we feel our freedom is being limited, even by rules we set for ourselves. You’ll learn how to recognize when your inner rebel is taking the wheel, practical questions to pause and reframe your choices, and strategies to create balance between staying on track and enjoying life along the way.

✨ Did this episode spark some recognition of your inner rebel? Make sure you’re subscribed so you don’t miss the launch of my brand-new Weight Loss Archetype Quiz — coming soon! This quiz will help you uncover the hidden patterns that keep you from staying consistent and show you how to move past them.

Thanks for listening!

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Transcript

Lisa DuPree: [00:00:00] Welcome to Midlife Mojo, the podcast all about how to be fit and flourish in your fifties. With me, your host, with over 25 years of experience in the health, fitness, and wellness industry, Lisa Dupree, we'll be talking about all the things that support living life to the fullest. Let's dive in.

Hello. Hello. We're continuing our summer power replay series with one of the most talked about episodes I've ever released. And honestly, I think it's something that everybody, if when you hear it more than once, you could still get something out of it. It even helped me as I just recently went back to listen to it, getting ready to post this because this is something that I've personally grappled with quite a bit over the years.

This episode is gonna talk about a sneaky way of thinking that shows up when you know what to do. You have a goal and you have [00:01:00] your plan, and you have all the things needed to make it happen, and you still don't do it. You just don't do it. You do something else instead. Right? It's what I like to call rebellious excitement, and it's something I see come up again and again with my clients, and it's something that I have worked through myself.

It also happens to be one of the patterns I explore in my brand new weight loss archetype quiz launching in the next couple of weeks. So as you listen, see if you notice any of that inner rebel energy showing up for you in ways that I describe, because the more that you catch it, the easier it gets to shift.

All right, let's get right into it. I noticed this recently when I was talking to a group about losing weight. Things that kept coming up from the group members were things like, I'm not following the diet like I'd planned to, or, I've been pretty good at falling the plan, but I'm still having, you know, some food that's not on the plan, like [00:02:00] having pizza every night or having a soda in chocolate bar in the afternoon.

Also, several people in the group mentioned things like forgetting to go to the gym or deciding to sleep in instead of going for their morning jog. Um, they also mentioned other common slipups that they felt like they would have avoided if they had just had more discipline or were more dedicated to losing weight.

And that's not necessarily true what's going on. These, these individuals that were showing up to the meetings, they had set realistic goals. They had relevant action steps, and they were actually doing a good bit of the work, but just not being really consistent. And they were expressing frustration with not feeling like they were making progress fast enough.

This is the kind of thing that starts a cycle where there's a downstream effect of guilt, perhaps some shame coming up, and [00:03:00] negative thoughts or negative self-talk. And this often results in, you know, getting down on yourself because you're not being perfect. And there can be a lot behind the choices that we make that are considered to be not following the rules or not sticking to your goal.

And we often fail to recognize or acknowledge that in the moment that those choices are made in real time, there is a very, very real benefit for not taking the action that you intended to or was planned on, and instead choosing this other thing. Because if we're really being honest, a lot of the times it just feels damn good in the moment to make this other choice.

It feels so good to have like that piece of triple chocolate cake when your diet plan has you eating an apple for dessert, it can feel like [00:04:00] a huge relief to skip a workout after a long stressful day at work and have a couple of glasses of wine instead. You know, there's a bit of that rebellious excitement that happens when we're all I know I'm supposed to be doing, you know, this thing, eating the apple or going to exercise after work.

We're supposed to be doing it, but we don't, and make a different choice. Instead, it's like there is this inner rebel that just takes over. And it creates this nice feeling for not having to follow the rules or do what we're supposed to do, even if we are the ones that put those rules in place. You know you're getting a quick surge.

Of pleasure, you know, or even relief in choosing to do what you want to do in that moment. There's that quick dopamine hit in your brain when you [00:05:00] kind of say to yourself, you know, I, I know I'm supposed to do this, but I'm not gonna do it. I'm gonna do that. So, you know, there you're essentially just kinda giving the middle finger to your logical plan that has, you know, been.

Thought out and aligns with your goal, but it just feels really good in the moment. And when you think about it, this makes sense. As humans, we strive for independence, we crave autonomy. We want to be the ones calling the shots, and our inner rebel can't stand to be told what to do. I like to imagine it as a toddler throwing just a massive tantrum.

This feeling or need to rebel is called psychological reactance, and it's your brain's reaction when you feel there's a threat to your freedom or you think your choices are being limited. And this response can make you [00:06:00] feel, you know, anxious, panicky, annoyed, even angry. You know, when we are perceiving that our choices are limited or rules that are put in place, you know, for us to follow even when the logical part of our brain, you know, was in agreement.

With that plan and or even set up those guidelines, like our rebellious toddler brain feels limited and threatened, and this can lead us to do the opposite of what we'd intended or planned and can end up resulting in a good bit of self-sabotage. So how do we work with our need to rebel when it has to do with our health and wellbeing?

And one thing to do is to begin noticing your emotions and your reactions in general to different forms of rules or guidelines. Like this could be societal rules. You know, a lot of things come to mind when I think about [00:07:00] like the pandemic. Um, brings several situations that you could use to kind of.

Notice how, what is your natural reaction? This could be at work or even expectations that you have or your family members or your friends have for you, you know, at home or in your friend circle. And so how do you react when your choices are being limited? How do you react when you're expected to do something that you don't particularly feel like doing?

You know, being able to notice what comes up for you as you think about these situation can give you a pretty good idea on how you handle this psychological reactance. And then it's important to identify the thoughts and feelings happening in a specific situation where you feel this urge or you're tempted to abandon your plan and [00:08:00] get off track specifically with your health related goals.

So the, for the person who chose the cake for dessert, they felt like they'd been really good all day following all the rules and that, you know, they deserve that piece of cake as a reward at the end of the day. And for the person who had that stressful day at work and chose to drink wine instead of going to work out, you know, they were feeling really anxious already from the stressful day, and they just wanted quick relief and to be able to relax.

And when you notice these urges to make a, a choice that's not aligned with your goals. One thing that can be really helpful is take a moment. The first thing is noticing, and then just take a moment, pause, take a deep breath or two, and notice. Notice what your thoughts are, notice what feelings you're [00:09:00] having in that moment.

It may help to ask yourself a couple of these questions, like in that moment when you're pausing and breathing, like, what's really going on here? You know, what is it that I really need this at this moment? Where is this urge coming from? You know, another good question to consider is, you know, will this choice help me accomplish my goal?

Like, is it really aligned with. What I had planned to do or what my goal is. And so taking this moment to pause and notice what is going on in your brain, it gives you a chance to get back to a place of logic and a little bit more in control, and not as much at the mercy of the inner rebel, uh, in your brain having a fit.

And so retraining your brain, managing your emotions, it takes awareness and practice to balance making [00:10:00] choices aligned with your overall health goals and what you might want to do in the moment for quick relief or for pleasure. Now, that's not to say that you shouldn't be doing things that you enjoy doing things that bring you pleasure or relief.

Taking care of yourself and enjoying life is part of self-care. However, if you're having a hard time staying consistent with your plan for accomplishing your goal, and it's realistic, you've thought it through, you've committed to it, but you're still just making some choices that aren't aligned with it, um, you, you want to make sure that that goal is really important to you and that outcome that you want is really important to you.

Just taking that moment, taking that pause, thinking through some of those questions of what's really going on. You know, is this gonna help me accomplish what I wanna do? Is this gonna help me get to the next step? Um, it can be really helpful [00:11:00] when you recognize that your inner rebel is acting out in a way that's, you know, gonna take you off track, and then you can begin to get a better understanding of yourself and the choices that you're making.

So did your inner rebel feel seen today? If this episode had you nodding along, then you're definitely gonna wanna take the weight loss archetype quiz I've got coming your way. It'll help you figure out exactly the patterns that might be getting in the way of your consistency and what to do about it.

Be sure to follow the show so you don't miss the launch. Until next time, get out there and keep your mojo rising.