Interlude: Chastity

Interludes are short segments between regular episodes with no editing but WITH leather creaking. It's a chance to hear a little more about what's going on in my life. In this interlude, I talk about my journey locking my cock up in chastity.

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Transcript

Edge : 0:00

Welcome to full cow, a podcast about leather kink and BDSM. My name is edge My pronouns are he him, and I am your host. And this is another interlude. The episode between episodes presented raw and unedited, but with leather Langlands creaking. Now, as I record this on Labor Day, September 5, my cock has been locked in chastity for 18 days. Now, this isn't something I have shared widely or freely only with people who are very close to me, or in some protected spaces. And that's because I feel that chastity has been relentlessly and I would argue erroneously coded as submissive. So I wanted to share my experience to sort of open up that conversation a little bit. So why did I decide to lock up my cock? The truth is, I have been always curious about chastity, because I'm curious to find out what I would become like with that accumulation of sexual energy. I'm someone who shoots just extraordinarily easily. So it's very easy for me to get off, it's very easy for me to spend my sexual energy right away. But what would it be like if it built up? And I've always been curious, you know, would it make me more aggressive, more aggressively dominant? Would it bring out some submissive aspect? I don't know. So I wanted to find out. And right now I am completely unencumbered in terms of relationships. So it seemed like the perfect time to do it, because being in chastity really doesn't have an impact on someone else important in my life. The other primary reason I wanted to do this is because I do expect to have a colored boy at some point, and I expect him to probably be locked in chastity. And everything else I might do to that boy, I have experienced myself, I have been tied up, I have done I've eaten cigar smoke and ash, I've been beaten. But I've never been locked in chastity long term. So I did not like the idea of subjecting that to a boy without really knowing what it's like. So I'm trying to get that perspective so that when I do have a boy and I do lock him, then I can really understand where he is, and help support him through that part of his journey. All of this is really wonderful. But I've been hesitant to speak about it a lot. Because I'm so fearful that people will feel it makes me somehow less dominant. And that's simply not true, right? You know, as my experience suggest, it's not important whether or not someone is locked, need to know why they're locked, and who has the key. And those are the critical questions. Are they locked because of submission? Does someone else have the key? Well, then that is quoted as submissive. But I have the key. And I am logged not as submission but to learn other things. All of this really reminds me of a series I did recently on the Twitter and the Instagram, about thinking about toys as tools, and I focused that series on hoods. But the lesson is much larger, larger. And I think it's important to think about chastity as a tool. And as a tool. Lots of different people can use it for lots of different reasons. And in fact, I know people who have been in chastity for a number of reasons, including they want it to learn how to come hands free, they want it to learn how to have an anal orgasm. They just want it to jack off less. They want it to really train themselves to come not by jacking off, but in a hole. Or they want it to train themselves to extract pleasure, not from genital sex, but from kink itself and from intimacy. And more, right there are lots of reasons. So if we think about chastity is a tool that it's available to anyone depending on what your goals are, and what you want to do with it. And it's really not inherently related to questions of dominance or submission or top or bottom. So what is my journey been like? Interesting, I decided to go with the Cobra cage because I knew all the chastity boys. Every chastity boy I know is wearing a cobra now. So it's sort of the IT cage right? It's made by kink 3d I will put a link in the show notes. Famously, the cobra is a little hard to size. And I did experience that but it is worth it. It is extraordinarily extraordinarily comfortable. And you know, I've had this interest in chastity for years and years and years I have in the play cabinet a whole level of chastity devices I've tried. So So many devices, and I've never found one that felt so comfortable. And the guys at King 3d are super helpful in terms of figuring out sizing. And you know, as I was trying to find something that really would work for me, they also gave me the most brilliant piece of advice, which is that, again, chastity is not meant to be inescapable or impossible, it is meant as a tool to remind you of a certain commitment. And I thought, wow, that was really kind of brilliant. That's been staying in my head through this journey. Super comfortable, nighttime hard ons, who, at first, those were not fun. I'd wake up in pain, my poor balls would be stretched, like awkwardly straining in the cage, I would make it to the bathroom, I would pee, my cock will come down a little bit. I consulted with a boy I know who has done long term chastity for some advice on that he's like, Hey, believe it or not, the body just adjusts. And that goes away. And my experience suggests that is true, I still wake up a couple times a night to pee, because you know, I'm in my early 50s. That's what you do when you're in your early 50s. But it's not painful. I don't know that I'm getting hard. Not sure I'm getting those nighttime erections. What I am getting is sort of hot and horny. Because the physical sensation of chastity is wonderful, you have to realize it's like someone holding your cock every minute of every day. And that can of course drive you crazy. Or it can just feel extraordinarily erotic if you put your attention down to your crotch and onto the cage. And really focus on the fact that something is holding your cock touching it at all times. Overall, I would say my journeys been, you know, a little bit easier because I have a super, super variable sex drive. And for a couple of reasons right now, at this stage of my life, I'm just not super horny. So it's pretty easy to stay locked. I imagine this would be challenging for someone with a higher sex drive, or maybe challenging for me with a higher sex drive, perhaps I will find out. I will say part of what's cool is, you know, I tend to pre come a fair amount. But it's like my cock is leaking pre calm all the time, which is really hot, because it's kind of loopy and slimy down there. And everything's getting just sort of pre cut malicious. And I like that I find it deeply erotic. So where am I going with this? You know, I'm on day 18. My goal is to do at least four weeks or 30 days, something like that. And then I don't know, I will probably unlock at some point. Certainly I have already unlocked and will continue to unlock when I have boys. But at this stage of my life, I'm not playing a lot. I'm not meeting anyone. And that's not an issue. I'm really also very curious about a quote unquote ruined orgasm, which I've read about I've heard about, but I think that will be very curious sensation. And my understanding of it is very much like milking. So even better than milking, I suppose the way it's been described to me is you build up and up and you feel like you're about to have an orgasm. And then it just disappears. And some come just pathetically dribbles out your cock. I don't know why that sounds so incredibly hot and ironically appealing to me. But I do want to find out what that's like. Again, particularly because at some point, I will have a boy who will be milked, or whose orgasms will be ruined. So it's good for me to know both how to prompt that. And then what that experience is like. So my plan is to do that somewhere between three to four weeks now I'm told from a couple of reliable, chaste sources that something interesting happens around week three. And it's been described in various ways that you know, because you can get pleasure through your cock you start looking through pleasure for pleasure through service or other things. What I'm starting to find here on day 18 Is that the device itself is becoming so comfortable as to almost disappear. It just feels like I have a large lump in my crotch, which I guess doesn't sound erotic. But it's there's something for me appealing about it. I don't know why. I think a lot of this is because you know, I have experienced so much sexually. I have had such a blessed leather kink journey, that there isn't a whole lot of new vistas for me to explore and this is one this is something I've not done. I don't know where this goes. And most everything else I do sexually I know exactly where it goes, I know exactly how to get there. So this is fascinating for me because I don't know what's going to happen to me around week three or four, I don't know. Am I going to spontaneously shoot in the middle of the night from a wet dream? I don't know, am I gonna be able to get a ruined orgasm? Am I gonna? Like, I don't know. And then not knowing for me is so deeply erotic and pleasurable. Um, I will say that right now on day 18, I love the feeling of being locked up, adjust, feels good. And not in, I guess, just some extent on a psychological sense. But physically, I'm enjoying the sensation. And so part of me at this stage in the journey imagines that this might be something I do. And I don't know if I will keep myself locked forever. Or periodically, maybe if I have a scene coming up, I'll lock for a few weeks to kind of build up and save that energy. Maybe when I end up with a partner, and that partner will be my keyholder is a really extraordinarily special form of intimacy. I don't know. And again, the not knowing is so blessedly beautiful. I think the lesson I hope you take away from this is all there are a couple. The first is any toy is a tool, and is not automatically coded to a particular sexual or kink position or identity. It's simply a tool that is useful depending upon the goals you have. I think the other real lesson is to keep exploring, keep being curious about your own sexuality, your own kink, and see where it leads you because it's this stage of my journey. It is the most exciting thing I have in my life at the moment is new discoveries, new lessons about myself, about how my sexual energy operates about what I can do with it. I just love that. I love that. And that's what I have for you now. It's my chastity journey. And goodness, you're not going to hear this for a couple of weeks, but hopefully, I might still be locked at that point. But if not, perhaps I'll do an update. A couple interludes from now. I hope wherever you are, you're enjoying either Labor Day or Monday, or enjoying whatever day it is in the future when you're listening to this. And as always an ever I really hope your leather journey is rich and rewarding and safe and fulfilling.