{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":0.0,"endTime":3.0,"body":"Welcome to full cow, a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":0.0,"endTime":3.0,"body":"podcast about leather kink and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3.0,"endTime":7.2,"body":"BDSM. My name is edge My"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":3.0,"endTime":7.2,"body":"pronouns are he him, and I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":7.2,"endTime":11.43,"body":"your host. And this is another"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":7.2,"endTime":11.43,"body":"interlude, the episode between"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":11.46,"endTime":15.81,"body":"episodes offered raw and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":11.46,"endTime":15.81,"body":"unedited, but with leather"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":15.81,"endTime":18.9,"body":"creaking. 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If I'm in some sort of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":395.79,"endTime":400.32,"body":"online discussion forum filled"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":400.32,"endTime":405.09,"body":"with gray sexuals, they'll get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":400.32,"endTime":405.09,"body":"me in a way that I'm not sure a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":405.09,"endTime":408.21,"body":"lot of the people around me get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":405.09,"endTime":408.21,"body":"me and that's really appealing."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":409.08,"endTime":412.77,"body":"Now, the downside of labels and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":409.08,"endTime":412.77,"body":"identities is that as much as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":412.77,"endTime":415.53,"body":"they enable, they can also"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":412.77,"endTime":415.53,"body":"constrict. 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And I'm done. I'm so done"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":506.97,"endTime":510.99,"body":"of coming out in my life. So I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":506.97,"endTime":510.99,"body":"resistant to this notion of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":510.99,"endTime":516.15,"body":"using this term. Because it just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":510.99,"endTime":516.15,"body":"means a whole nother process"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":516.15,"endTime":519.33,"body":"that I don't know that I want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":516.15,"endTime":519.33,"body":"engage in. So while I find it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":519.33,"endTime":522.99,"body":"very appealing in that I can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":519.33,"endTime":522.99,"body":"find community, I can eventually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":522.99,"endTime":526.11,"body":"get people to understand how I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":522.99,"endTime":526.11,"body":"am wired as I encounter them in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":526.11,"endTime":528.78,"body":"the world. That's all appealing,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":526.11,"endTime":528.78,"body":"but it's also"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":529.8,"endTime":533.13,"body":"it's exhausting. Think about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":529.8,"endTime":533.13,"body":"just exhausting to think about."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":533.88,"endTime":536.4,"body":"So I may just go keep saying"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":533.88,"endTime":536.4,"body":"yeah, I'm not that much"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":536.4,"endTime":539.7,"body":"intersex, which is so very true."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":536.4,"endTime":539.7,"body":"Like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":540.87,"endTime":543.06,"body":"I'm just not intersex period."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":544.38,"endTime":547.5,"body":"This is complicated by the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":544.38,"endTime":547.5,"body":"libido issues going on."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":547.77,"endTime":551.49,"body":"Certainly, I've not always had"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":547.77,"endTime":551.49,"body":"what I would call a variable"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":551.49,"endTime":560.31,"body":"libido. But I would say for the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":551.49,"endTime":560.31,"body":"last 1015, maybe 20 years even."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":560.82,"endTime":564.81,"body":"I've had a sex drive of libido"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":560.82,"endTime":564.81,"body":"that runs either very high or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":564.81,"endTime":569.01,"body":"very low. And that is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":564.81,"endTime":569.01,"body":"independent of my testosterone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":569.01,"endTime":572.97,"body":"levels. I happen to know for a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":569.01,"endTime":572.97,"body":"fact. So I could have relatively"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":572.97,"endTime":575.49,"body":"normal or slightly low"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":572.97,"endTime":575.49,"body":"testosterone and suddenly have a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":575.49,"endTime":580.11,"body":"period where I'm really horny,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":575.49,"endTime":580.11,"body":"and vice versa. And in my 20s I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":580.11,"endTime":587.79,"body":"was so horny all the time."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":580.11,"endTime":587.79,"body":"Right? I was in my 20s horny all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":587.79,"endTime":591.72,"body":"the time. But even if I go back"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":587.79,"endTime":591.72,"body":"to that period of my life, it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":591.72,"endTime":595.59,"body":"not like I ever really wanted"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":591.72,"endTime":595.59,"body":"sex because of that horniness. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":595.59,"endTime":599.01,"body":"love to make out. I love"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":595.59,"endTime":599.01,"body":"leather. I love cooking. I love"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":599.01,"endTime":599.79,"body":"to play"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":600.0,"endTime":604.41,"body":"my tits are exceptionally wired."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":600.0,"endTime":604.41,"body":"And I like usually jacking off"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":604.41,"endTime":608.22,"body":"in a scene. And I like the other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":604.41,"endTime":608.22,"body":"guy to jack off and for me, it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":608.22,"endTime":611.13,"body":"easy peasy. We're all done no"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":608.22,"endTime":611.13,"body":"muss, no fuss, no lube"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":611.13,"endTime":615.0,"body":"everywhere that's always fit. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":611.13,"endTime":615.0,"body":"even when my libido is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":615.0,"endTime":619.53,"body":"historically very high, it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":615.0,"endTime":619.53,"body":"been a different relationship"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":619.53,"endTime":623.46,"body":"with sex. And it's even more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":619.53,"endTime":623.46,"body":"complicated now with my variable"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":623.46,"endTime":628.38,"body":"libido and, and then there's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":623.46,"endTime":628.38,"body":"like physical the BDO libido,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":628.38,"endTime":631.68,"body":"like I want to have sex and then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":628.38,"endTime":631.68,"body":"I think there's a kind of cuddle"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":631.68,"endTime":634.98,"body":"libido like, I want to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":631.68,"endTime":634.98,"body":"cuddled and then there's a kink"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":634.98,"endTime":638.49,"body":"libido. I discuss in a recent"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":634.98,"endTime":638.49,"body":"interview about how I'm feeling"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":638.49,"endTime":642.54,"body":"disconnected to my leather."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":638.49,"endTime":642.54,"body":"First of all, obviously, that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":642.54,"endTime":646.23,"body":"related to my low testosterone."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":642.54,"endTime":646.23,"body":"So fingers crossed on that. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":646.23,"endTime":648.96,"body":"it's also that there's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":646.23,"endTime":648.96,"body":"different kind of horniness"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":648.96,"endTime":654.54,"body":"related to leather that has its"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":648.96,"endTime":654.54,"body":"own variable cycles. In fact,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":654.54,"endTime":658.08,"body":"what I will tell many boys is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":654.54,"endTime":658.08,"body":"that the satisfaction you will"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":658.08,"endTime":662.22,"body":"come you will receive from being"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":658.08,"endTime":662.22,"body":"in submission or being tied up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":662.25,"endTime":666.75,"body":"or being beaten. You would not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":662.25,"endTime":666.75,"body":"get that if you orgasm that 1000"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":666.75,"endTime":670.35,"body":"times. So if you're horny to get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":666.75,"endTime":670.35,"body":"tied up, you can check off all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":670.35,"endTime":674.67,"body":"you want into your dick is raw"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":670.35,"endTime":674.67,"body":"or your vaginas raw or whatever,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":674.67,"endTime":678.9,"body":"genitals you have a raw, you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":674.67,"endTime":678.9,"body":"check off all you want, and yet"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":678.9,"endTime":683.85,"body":"still have that horniness for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":678.9,"endTime":683.85,"body":"bondage. So, all of my libido is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":683.85,"endTime":688.53,"body":"a fairly variable, my cuddle"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":683.85,"endTime":688.53,"body":"libido, my sex libido, and my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":688.53,"endTime":692.52,"body":"leather libido. But I think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":688.53,"endTime":692.52,"body":"because the libido is coming"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":692.52,"endTime":695.22,"body":"back, I'm hopeful that my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":692.52,"endTime":695.22,"body":"leather libido is coming up,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":695.52,"endTime":699.42,"body":"coming back. And then this just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":695.52,"endTime":699.42,"body":"leaves this sort of sex libido."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":700.11,"endTime":704.28,"body":"You know, so here's a little bit"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":700.11,"endTime":704.28,"body":"of what it's like for me, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":704.28,"endTime":708.63,"body":"why I'm working through these"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":704.28,"endTime":708.63,"body":"issues around race sexuality. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":708.63,"endTime":712.11,"body":"I'm at the gym, I see a hot guy."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":708.63,"endTime":712.11,"body":"So I do feel some sexual"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":712.11,"endTime":715.29,"body":"attraction. But it's just sort"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":712.11,"endTime":715.29,"body":"of like, oh, that's a hot guy."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":715.74,"endTime":719.58,"body":"And because I have such a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":715.74,"endTime":719.58,"body":"fraught history with sex, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":719.58,"endTime":723.15,"body":"think, well, that's a hot guy,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":719.58,"endTime":723.15,"body":"but he's gonna want me to have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":723.15,"endTime":726.33,"body":"sex with him. And I don't really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":723.15,"endTime":726.33,"body":"like to have sex. So I'm not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":726.33,"endTime":730.8,"body":"even going to move into the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":726.33,"endTime":730.8,"body":"arousal that I'm feeling. Or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":731.64,"endTime":734.19,"body":"that's a hot guy, but he's gonna"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":731.64,"endTime":734.19,"body":"want me to fuck him. And that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":734.19,"endTime":737.58,"body":"not really something I'm into."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":734.19,"endTime":737.58,"body":"So why should I even open up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":737.58,"endTime":739.86,"body":"that door towards that arousal?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":741.54,"endTime":744.9,"body":"That's what it's like, for me in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":741.54,"endTime":744.9,"body":"my gray sexuality. It's not that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":744.9,"endTime":748.71,"body":"I don't feel any sexual"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":744.9,"endTime":748.71,"body":"attraction. It's that I don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":749.16,"endTime":752.88,"body":"feel the impulse to act on it,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":749.16,"endTime":752.88,"body":"it doesn't feel important enough"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":752.88,"endTime":757.86,"body":"to act on. Now. I will say there"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":752.88,"endTime":757.86,"body":"are things about my level of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":757.86,"endTime":761.82,"body":"libido I've learned, which may"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":757.86,"endTime":761.82,"body":"really unlock things in my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":761.82,"endTime":764.46,"body":"sexual libido. Whatever I know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":761.82,"endTime":764.46,"body":"my love their libido is that a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":764.46,"endTime":768.57,"body":"lot of times, it's the right"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":764.46,"endTime":768.57,"body":"man, and I'm suddenly horny to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":768.57,"endTime":772.98,"body":"use him, there's a certain look"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":768.57,"endTime":772.98,"body":"in a boy's eyes that makes me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":772.98,"endTime":777.09,"body":"want to hurt him. There's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":772.98,"endTime":777.09,"body":"certain way of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":778.29,"endTime":783.0,"body":"relating to me and calling the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":778.29,"endTime":783.0,"body":"call forth my dominance, and I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":783.0,"endTime":787.38,"body":"have to use them. So so it's not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":783.0,"endTime":787.38,"body":"just like I'm not leather horny,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":787.41,"endTime":791.13,"body":"it's the person who will make me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":787.41,"endTime":791.13,"body":"leather. Horny is not around. It"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":792.03,"endTime":794.94,"body":"is conceivably true. The same"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":792.03,"endTime":794.94,"body":"with sex. It's not that I don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":795.09,"endTime":798.0,"body":"want to have sex, it's that the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":795.09,"endTime":798.0,"body":"person I want to have sex with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":798.03,"endTime":802.29,"body":"isn't around. And who that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":798.03,"endTime":802.29,"body":"person is, I do not know. All of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":802.29,"endTime":806.19,"body":"this is, you know, it's not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":802.29,"endTime":806.19,"body":"weighing on me. It's not like I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":806.19,"endTime":809.07,"body":"stay up at night wondering"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":806.19,"endTime":809.07,"body":"whether or not I'm Grace, sexual"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":809.07,"endTime":812.64,"body":"or teasing these things through."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":809.07,"endTime":812.64,"body":"But it's definitely more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":812.64,"endTime":817.62,"body":"centered in my analytical"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":812.64,"endTime":817.62,"body":"overthinking monkey mind, in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":817.62,"endTime":820.26,"body":"part, because ideally, I would"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":817.62,"endTime":820.26,"body":"like to have another"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":820.26,"endTime":827.13,"body":"relationship. And I'm super"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":820.26,"endTime":827.13,"body":"aware, I am acutely, painfully"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":827.13,"endTime":831.9,"body":"aware of the fact that people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":827.13,"endTime":831.9,"body":"who fall in love with you kind"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":831.9,"endTime":836.34,"body":"of expect to have sex with you."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":831.9,"endTime":836.34,"body":"And that's completely reasonable"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":836.34,"endTime":840.09,"body":"expectation. But it's I'm not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":836.34,"endTime":840.09,"body":"sure it's an expectation I can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":840.09,"endTime":844.62,"body":"meet Well, I'm not sure to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":840.09,"endTime":844.62,"body":"expectation I can meet in a way"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":844.62,"endTime":848.04,"body":"that would make most allo"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":844.62,"endTime":848.04,"body":"sexual, normally sexual people,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":848.25,"endTime":851.07,"body":"I'm not sure it's an expectation"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":848.25,"endTime":851.07,"body":"I can meet in a way that would"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":851.07,"endTime":854.88,"body":"make them happy. So part of why"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":851.07,"endTime":854.88,"body":"I'm teasing through all this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":854.88,"endTime":859.59,"body":"besides the low libido, besides"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":854.88,"endTime":859.59,"body":"the really sharpening my idea of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":859.59,"endTime":863.61,"body":"kink versus sex and all that is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":859.59,"endTime":863.61,"body":"that if I'm going to look for a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":863.61,"endTime":867.72,"body":"partner, I really have to lay"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":863.61,"endTime":867.72,"body":"some things bare at the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":867.72,"endTime":871.89,"body":"beginning and say this, this is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":867.72,"endTime":871.89,"body":"who I am. This is how I'm wired."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":872.13,"endTime":875.04,"body":"I show love through cuddling."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":872.13,"endTime":875.04,"body":"I'm more than happy to take you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":875.04,"endTime":879.54,"body":"on many kink journeys if we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":875.04,"endTime":879.54,"body":"connect in that way. And, and I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":879.54,"endTime":883.14,"body":"don't, I'm fine if you go out"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":879.54,"endTime":883.14,"body":"and have tons of sex. I'm not a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":883.14,"endTime":885.93,"body":"super sexual person. I'm not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":883.14,"endTime":885.93,"body":"going to be able to offer you a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":885.93,"endTime":890.82,"body":"lot of sex. And that's scary."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":885.93,"endTime":890.82,"body":"You know, it's scary because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":891.57,"endTime":895.59,"body":"it's hard enough trying to find"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":891.57,"endTime":895.59,"body":"someone. It's really hard trying"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":895.59,"endTime":899.94,"body":"to find someone and to add yet"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":895.59,"endTime":899.94,"body":"another tick box another hurdle"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":900.0,"endTime":903.75,"body":"Another thing about me that I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":900.0,"endTime":903.75,"body":"afraid will be rejected, it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":903.75,"endTime":907.05,"body":"just like, Are you fucking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":903.75,"endTime":907.05,"body":"kidding me? Are you fucking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":907.05,"endTime":909.03,"body":"kidding me. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":910.44,"endTime":911.55,"body":"I'm gonna wrap this up."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":913.08,"endTime":916.83,"body":"That's where I'm at, I'm not in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":913.08,"endTime":916.83,"body":"a hurry to reach decision around"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":916.83,"endTime":920.64,"body":"my gray sexuality, my general"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":916.83,"endTime":920.64,"body":"plan is, first of all, to just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":920.64,"endTime":925.59,"body":"pay attention to my body, to my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":920.64,"endTime":925.59,"body":"desires, and to my thoughts"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":925.59,"endTime":929.46,"body":"around this. But beyond that,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":925.59,"endTime":929.46,"body":"you know, I still need another"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":929.46,"endTime":933.0,"body":"week or two before, I know my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":929.46,"endTime":933.0,"body":"testosterone levels have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":933.0,"endTime":936.93,"body":"returned. And then I'll see what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":933.0,"endTime":936.93,"body":"happens with my libido then, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":936.93,"endTime":941.01,"body":"then I just need that time for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":936.93,"endTime":941.01,"body":"quiet reflection, I have blocked"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":941.01,"endTime":945.06,"body":"off the next two weekends with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":941.01,"endTime":945.06,"body":"zero social plans, they'll be my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":945.06,"endTime":949.98,"body":"first time without social plans"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":945.06,"endTime":949.98,"body":"of any sort, in months, and as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":949.98,"endTime":952.86,"body":"an introvert, it's something I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":949.98,"endTime":952.86,"body":"desperately need. And that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":952.86,"endTime":955.23,"body":"also time for me to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":952.86,"endTime":955.23,"body":"reflective and to sit with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":955.23,"endTime":958.8,"body":"myself and to think about what I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":955.23,"endTime":958.8,"body":"think and to think about what I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":958.8,"endTime":962.04,"body":"believe and to think about what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":958.8,"endTime":962.04,"body":"I feel, so that I can really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":962.64,"endTime":965.46,"body":"reach something true and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":962.64,"endTime":965.46,"body":"authentic for me at this point"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":965.46,"endTime":968.4,"body":"in my life journey. Because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":965.46,"endTime":968.4,"body":"that's what I need to bring to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":968.4,"endTime":972.69,"body":"the table whenever I meet"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":968.4,"endTime":972.69,"body":"someone, or if there's romantic"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":972.69,"endTime":975.99,"body":"interest, I have to bring all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":972.69,"endTime":975.99,"body":"the authenticity I have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":975.99,"endTime":980.01,"body":"available. And that's what I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":975.99,"endTime":980.01,"body":"working at. And,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":981.06,"endTime":984.78,"body":"hey, a couple of takeaways,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":981.06,"endTime":984.78,"body":"first of all, now you know what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":984.78,"endTime":988.23,"body":"great sexual is. Second, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":984.78,"endTime":988.23,"body":"really want to underlie this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":988.23,"endTime":991.17,"body":"notion that there are many"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":988.23,"endTime":991.17,"body":"different libidos that interact"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":991.17,"endTime":994.17,"body":"in complicated ways. So, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":991.17,"endTime":994.17,"body":"know, if you're horny, but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":994.17,"endTime":996.21,"body":"you're not filling into ledger,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":994.17,"endTime":996.21,"body":"that's great if you're into"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":996.21,"endTime":999.06,"body":"other but I'm feeling horny,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":996.21,"endTime":999.06,"body":"that's all great. And this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":999.06,"endTime":1003.14,"body":"notion that, that our our entry"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":999.06,"endTime":1003.14,"body":"points and exit points through"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1003.14,"endTime":1006.71,"body":"various modes of sexuality can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1003.14,"endTime":1006.71,"body":"change across time in our life's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1006.71,"endTime":1011.75,"body":"journey. So whether you're hyper"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1006.71,"endTime":1011.75,"body":"sexual right now, or asexual, or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1011.78,"endTime":1015.38,"body":"gray, sexual, or demisexual, or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1011.78,"endTime":1015.38,"body":"Allah, sexual,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1016.73,"endTime":1020.21,"body":"and all the same things, I might"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1016.73,"endTime":1020.21,"body":"go and throw out a bunch of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1020.21,"endTime":1023.24,"body":"terms about kink, maybe your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1020.21,"endTime":1023.24,"body":"bottom, maybe yourself, maybe"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1023.24,"endTime":1025.73,"body":"your dominant, whatever,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1023.24,"endTime":1025.73,"body":"whatever, whatever, these things"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1025.73,"endTime":1029.45,"body":"can shift over time. And that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1025.73,"endTime":1029.45,"body":"a little disorienting, and a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1029.45,"endTime":1033.05,"body":"little annoying, but it's also"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1029.45,"endTime":1033.05,"body":"beautiful, it's absolutely"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1033.05,"endTime":1037.34,"body":"beautiful that we can grow and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1033.05,"endTime":1037.34,"body":"change. And I don't want to say"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1037.34,"endTime":1040.49,"body":"evolve, because that suggests a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1037.34,"endTime":1040.49,"body":"linear progression, but that we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1040.49,"endTime":1044.66,"body":"can continue to grow as human"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1040.49,"endTime":1044.66,"body":"beings. And I'm really all for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1044.66,"endTime":1049.31,"body":"that. I'm so grateful for your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1044.66,"endTime":1049.31,"body":"attention to so I thank you all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1049.31,"endTime":1053.99,"body":"for listening. And I hope"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1049.31,"endTime":1053.99,"body":"wherever you are in your life"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1053.99,"endTime":1058.22,"body":"journey related to leather or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1053.99,"endTime":1058.22,"body":"sex or anything else, I hope"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1058.22,"endTime":1061.61,"body":"they're blessings that you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1058.22,"endTime":1061.61,"body":"see. And if not, I really invite"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1061.61,"endTime":1064.28,"body":"you to sit in gratitude and find"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1061.61,"endTime":1064.28,"body":"them because I'm pretty sure"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1064.28,"endTime":1066.26,"body":"they're there. Thank you"}]}