{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":5.279,"endTime":6.539,"body":"Let's talk about Daddy"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":12.99,"endTime":16.86,"body":"this podcast contains material"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":12.99,"endTime":16.86,"body":"intended for a mature audience."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":16.92,"endTime":20.37,"body":"Before proceeding, please check"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":16.92,"endTime":20.37,"body":"your local laws and confirm that"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":20.37,"endTime":21.06,"body":"you are an adult."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":38.61,"endTime":42.93,"body":"Welcome to full cow, a podcast"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":38.61,"endTime":42.93,"body":"about leather kink and BDSM. My"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":42.93,"endTime":47.34,"body":"name is edge My pronouns are he"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":42.93,"endTime":47.34,"body":"him, and I'm your host. Thank"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":47.34,"endTime":50.7,"body":"you so much for joining me for"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":47.34,"endTime":50.7,"body":"another episode as we discuss,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":51.15,"endTime":54.84,"body":"daddy. In the first segment,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":51.15,"endTime":54.84,"body":"I'll share my own experience"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":54.84,"endTime":59.28,"body":"moving into this identity and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":54.84,"endTime":59.28,"body":"claiming it for my own. Then in"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":59.28,"endTime":63.51,"body":"the second segment, I'll try to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":59.28,"endTime":63.51,"body":"unpack it a little bit, sharing"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":63.51,"endTime":66.36,"body":"some of the insights I've"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":63.51,"endTime":66.36,"body":"learned in part through my own"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":66.36,"endTime":70.89,"body":"explorations. For the third"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":66.36,"endTime":70.89,"body":"segment, we have once again ask"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":70.89,"endTime":74.76,"body":"edge my answers to your"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":70.89,"endTime":74.76,"body":"questions. And I think we have a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":74.76,"endTime":79.35,"body":"really great batch. And then"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":74.76,"endTime":79.35,"body":"finally, as a special treat, one"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":79.35,"endTime":82.86,"body":"of my listeners suggested a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":79.35,"endTime":82.86,"body":"leather bedtime story, and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":82.86,"endTime":87.18,"body":"actually wrote something for me"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":82.86,"endTime":87.18,"body":"to read to all of you. It is a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":87.18,"endTime":90.9,"body":"pretty excellent episode. I'm"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":87.18,"endTime":90.9,"body":"very happy with it, I hope you"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":90.9,"endTime":100.14,"body":"enjoy it as well. So let's get"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":90.9,"endTime":100.14,"body":"started. I'm trying to remember"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":100.17,"endTime":105.51,"body":"when I first identified as"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":100.17,"endTime":105.51,"body":"Daddy, it is a fairly recent"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":105.51,"endTime":109.11,"body":"development, you know, when I"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":105.51,"endTime":109.11,"body":"first made the move into"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":109.11,"endTime":113.55,"body":"dominance, into what I would"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":109.11,"endTime":113.55,"body":"call being a top around the turn"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":113.55,"endTime":118.29,"body":"of the millennium, I was Sir"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":113.55,"endTime":118.29,"body":"identified, and I'm still"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":118.29,"endTime":122.64,"body":"perfectly comfortable with the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":118.29,"endTime":122.64,"body":"title of Sir. And you know, I've"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":122.64,"endTime":125.49,"body":"said maybe probably in the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":122.64,"endTime":125.49,"body":"submission episode, I've said"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":125.49,"endTime":129.75,"body":"that boy is a capacious"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":125.49,"endTime":129.75,"body":"category, lots, and lots of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":129.75,"endTime":133.44,"body":"different kinds of people can"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":129.75,"endTime":133.44,"body":"fit inside a boy. And I feel the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":133.44,"endTime":136.92,"body":"same thing about search, the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":133.44,"endTime":136.92,"body":"sort of default positioning of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":136.92,"endTime":140.49,"body":"dominance, for me, that allows"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":136.92,"endTime":140.49,"body":"lots and lots of different kinds"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":140.49,"endTime":144.69,"body":"of people. Lots of flavors of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":140.49,"endTime":144.69,"body":"dominance can sit inside of Sir,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":145.05,"endTime":148.65,"body":"and serves a very comfortable"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":145.05,"endTime":148.65,"body":"place for me. And so in the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":148.68,"endTime":153.66,"body":"arts, and in the teens, I was"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":148.68,"endTime":153.66,"body":"primarily sir identified. The"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":153.66,"endTime":157.17,"body":"first time I remember thinking"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":153.66,"endTime":157.17,"body":"about myself as a daddy was"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":157.17,"endTime":162.57,"body":"probably when I turned 40. So"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":157.17,"endTime":162.57,"body":"this would have been 2010. And I"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":162.57,"endTime":165.54,"body":"remember kind of this was back"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":162.57,"endTime":165.54,"body":"when Tumblr was a thing, right?"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":165.54,"endTime":169.74,"body":"And I remember posting like, Oh,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":165.54,"endTime":169.74,"body":"I'm 40. Now I'm a daddy. Now,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":169.74,"endTime":173.07,"body":"all the cute young boys can come"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":169.74,"endTime":173.07,"body":"after me, and actually have a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":173.07,"endTime":176.88,"body":"little little bit of flack about"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":173.07,"endTime":176.88,"body":"that as this sort of assumptive"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":176.88,"endTime":179.67,"body":"mode, which I thought was"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":176.88,"endTime":179.67,"body":"actually pretty fair. But I was"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":179.67,"endTime":182.55,"body":"also calling attention to the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":179.67,"endTime":182.55,"body":"sort of stereotype of what a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":182.55,"endTime":186.84,"body":"daddy is. But that was a sort of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":182.55,"endTime":186.84,"body":"broad gesture, it was a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":186.84,"endTime":191.22,"body":"rhetorical move. It wasn't an"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":186.84,"endTime":191.22,"body":"inner sense of identity. That"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":191.22,"endTime":198.99,"body":"came later. And I want to say it"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":191.22,"endTime":198.99,"body":"started first, maybe three or"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":198.99,"endTime":202.38,"body":"four years ago. And there were a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":198.99,"endTime":202.38,"body":"couple of factors that"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":202.38,"endTime":209.22,"body":"contributed to it. You know, in"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":202.38,"endTime":209.22,"body":"my late 40s, so let's say, for"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":209.25,"endTime":214.62,"body":"fun sake, let's say 2018 or so,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":209.25,"endTime":214.62,"body":"I started noticing I was aging."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":214.62,"endTime":218.97,"body":"Now, we're aging all the time."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":214.62,"endTime":218.97,"body":"But there will be points in your"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":218.97,"endTime":222.81,"body":"life. If you are so blessed as"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":218.97,"endTime":222.81,"body":"to age, there will be points"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":222.81,"endTime":227.28,"body":"where you suddenly realize"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":222.81,"endTime":227.28,"body":"you're aging. And I came to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":227.28,"endTime":234.33,"body":"realize that I wanted to pass on"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":227.28,"endTime":234.33,"body":"all the stuff I had learned. I"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":234.33,"endTime":238.59,"body":"was I was saying my leather"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":234.33,"endTime":238.59,"body":"logical clock was ticking. There"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":238.59,"endTime":242.82,"body":"was a sense that I was reaching"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":238.59,"endTime":242.82,"body":"the later stages of my life. I"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":242.82,"endTime":245.52,"body":"didn't know how much time I had"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":242.82,"endTime":245.52,"body":"left, I still don't know how"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":245.52,"endTime":250.17,"body":"much time I have left. And I"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":245.52,"endTime":250.17,"body":"wanted to pass on everything"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":250.17,"endTime":254.1,"body":"that I had learned about leather"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":250.17,"endTime":254.1,"body":"and about kink. And all that and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":254.1,"endTime":257.4,"body":"that was the first real sense"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":254.1,"endTime":257.4,"body":"that I was connecting to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":257.4,"endTime":260.61,"body":"something that I was starting to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":257.4,"endTime":260.61,"body":"call this sort of Daddy energy,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":260.61,"endTime":266.16,"body":"it was very clear that there was"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":260.61,"endTime":266.16,"body":"a there was almost biological,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":266.64,"endTime":269.91,"body":"but we're gonna call it love it"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":266.64,"endTime":269.91,"body":"illogical a sort of impulse to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":269.91,"endTime":274.41,"body":"reproduce, but not reproduce,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":269.91,"endTime":274.41,"body":"biologically, to reproduce,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":274.65,"endTime":280.29,"body":"culturally, to pass on leather"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":274.65,"endTime":280.29,"body":"as I understood it. The next"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":280.29,"endTime":285.57,"body":"moment for me, I think, was with"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":280.29,"endTime":285.57,"body":"my x well, sort of x and a half."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":286.05,"endTime":289.68,"body":"But when I was with him, he very"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":286.05,"endTime":289.68,"body":"clearly was going to need a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":289.68,"endTime":293.94,"body":"slave in addition to having me"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":289.68,"endTime":293.94,"body":"as his partner, and somehow"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":293.94,"endTime":297.69,"body":"watching him go through that"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":293.94,"endTime":297.69,"body":"process really inspired me in"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":297.69,"endTime":303.93,"body":"ways that moved me closer to to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":297.69,"endTime":303.93,"body":"Hurry. Then in 2000, let's see"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":303.93,"endTime":311.7,"body":"2019 I think 2020 Perhaps there"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":303.93,"endTime":311.7,"body":"was the year I met the boy who"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":311.7,"endTime":315.81,"body":"changed my life who unlocked"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":311.7,"endTime":315.81,"body":"this really natural, authentic"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":315.81,"endTime":320.64,"body":"dominance. So now I had this"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":315.81,"endTime":320.64,"body":"internal impulse to reproduce"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":320.64,"endTime":325.77,"body":"myself culturally, I had this"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":320.64,"endTime":325.77,"body":"aspirational model in my x or x"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":325.77,"endTime":330.45,"body":"and a half. And I had access to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":325.77,"endTime":330.45,"body":"this abundant authentic"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":330.45,"endTime":334.23,"body":"dominance, those things"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":330.45,"endTime":334.23,"body":"synergistically came together to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":334.23,"endTime":338.91,"body":"really produce the data in me."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":334.23,"endTime":338.91,"body":"It's manifested primarily"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":338.91,"endTime":343.59,"body":"through my work on social media."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":338.91,"endTime":343.59,"body":"That is where I am doing my best"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":343.59,"endTime":347.34,"body":"to pass on what I know. And that"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":343.59,"endTime":347.34,"body":"is where in some ways I feel the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":347.34,"endTime":353.28,"body":"most, Daddy, I feel like, you"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":347.34,"endTime":353.28,"body":"know, I have a large segment of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":353.28,"endTime":356.79,"body":"people who follow me,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":353.28,"endTime":356.79,"body":"particularly on Twitter, who are"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":356.82,"endTime":362.73,"body":"19 year old pup gamers, and I"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":356.82,"endTime":362.73,"body":"feel like, I'm Daddy to several"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":362.73,"endTime":368.37,"body":"1000 of them, which sounds"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":362.73,"endTime":368.37,"body":"ridiculous, but also feels not"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":368.67,"endTime":373.77,"body":"entirely untrue. And that's the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":368.67,"endTime":373.77,"body":"work I do with these educational"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":373.77,"endTime":376.86,"body":"videos you see on my Twitter and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":373.77,"endTime":376.86,"body":"my Instagram, I'm trying to pass"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":376.86,"endTime":383.4,"body":"on what I know. I've come to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":376.86,"endTime":383.4,"body":"recognize and learn what daddy"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":383.4,"endTime":388.08,"body":"energy is for me. And it is"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":383.4,"endTime":388.08,"body":"quite paternal, but not in a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":388.08,"endTime":392.88,"body":"kind of strict disciplinarian"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":388.08,"endTime":392.88,"body":"way. But in a loving guiding"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":392.88,"endTime":399.33,"body":"fatherly supportive way. It is"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":392.88,"endTime":399.33,"body":"about helping someone along into"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":399.33,"endTime":403.83,"body":"their leather adulthood. And"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":399.33,"endTime":403.83,"body":"that's not necessarily their"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":403.83,"endTime":407.37,"body":"adulthood, right? They there are"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":403.83,"endTime":407.37,"body":"people who are maybe already"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":407.37,"endTime":410.34,"body":"adults, but are children when it"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":407.37,"endTime":410.34,"body":"comes to their leather journey,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":410.58,"endTime":415.02,"body":"rarely, rarely, very early on"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":410.58,"endTime":415.02,"body":"practically newborns. And it's"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":415.02,"endTime":422.19,"body":"about how can I help them grow"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":415.02,"endTime":422.19,"body":"up in leather. I do now have a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":422.19,"endTime":425.52,"body":"boy in Arizona, and he calls me"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":422.19,"endTime":425.52,"body":"daddy. And it feels perfectly"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":425.52,"endTime":430.83,"body":"normal. And perfectly right? It"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":425.52,"endTime":430.83,"body":"really describes the way I feel"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":430.83,"endTime":434.76,"body":"about our dynamic. But I'm very"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":430.83,"endTime":434.76,"body":"invested in his growth and in"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":434.76,"endTime":438.99,"body":"his development, as though he"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":434.76,"endTime":438.99,"body":"were my son as though he were my"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":438.99,"endTime":446.25,"body":"offspring. So it's been a fairly"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":438.99,"endTime":446.25,"body":"long journey. If you think about"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":446.64,"endTime":450.99,"body":"the 23 years since I've made"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":446.64,"endTime":450.99,"body":"this movement into the identity"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":450.99,"endTime":454.98,"body":"of Sir, is that a fairly long"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":450.99,"endTime":454.98,"body":"journey to reach daddy, it is"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":454.98,"endTime":458.37,"body":"definitely definitely something"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":454.98,"endTime":458.37,"body":"I feel. And there are a few men"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":458.43,"endTime":463.11,"body":"who call me daddy and in my"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":458.43,"endTime":463.11,"body":"world. And with each of them, it"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":463.11,"endTime":470.04,"body":"feels very, very right. It feels"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":463.11,"endTime":470.04,"body":"like it is naming the dynamic,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":470.07,"endTime":474.63,"body":"the energy that is between us"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":470.07,"endTime":474.63,"body":"and that they tap into that"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":474.63,"endTime":478.44,"body":"particular aspect of me. And"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":474.63,"endTime":478.44,"body":"there are a lot of aspects of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":478.44,"endTime":482.34,"body":"me, I'm a complex human being."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":478.44,"endTime":482.34,"body":"And even when it comes to my"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":482.34,"endTime":486.09,"body":"kinky identities, they can be"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":482.34,"endTime":486.09,"body":"complex as they can be for"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":486.09,"endTime":490.02,"body":"everyone. And I'm still very"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":486.09,"endTime":490.02,"body":"comfortable as sir but I'm"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":490.05,"endTime":494.25,"body":"equally comfortable with Daddy,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":490.05,"endTime":494.25,"body":"when it makes sense when it fits"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":494.25,"endTime":499.35,"body":"that dynamic. My daddy is an"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":494.25,"endTime":499.35,"body":"extension of my loving"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":499.35,"endTime":503.25,"body":"dominance. So even when I'm Sir"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":499.35,"endTime":503.25,"body":"I'm coming from a point of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":503.88,"endTime":507.66,"body":"loving dominance. And that means"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":503.88,"endTime":507.66,"body":"Oh, you're a fag. Fantastic. i"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":507.66,"endTime":511.26,"body":"Let's make you the best fac"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":507.66,"endTime":511.26,"body":"ever. Oh, okay, you're nothing"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":511.26,"endTime":515.46,"body":"but a whole love it, I'm going"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":511.26,"endTime":515.46,"body":"to help you become the very best"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":515.46,"endTime":519.06,"body":"hold you can be. You know that"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":515.46,"endTime":519.06,"body":"loving dominance is about"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":519.24,"endTime":522.69,"body":"supporting someone in the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":519.24,"endTime":522.69,"body":"journey towards their kink"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":522.72,"endTime":527.16,"body":"authenticity, whatever that"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":522.72,"endTime":527.16,"body":"looks like today, daddy is such"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":527.16,"endTime":531.36,"body":"a natural extension of that. But"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":527.16,"endTime":531.36,"body":"with a slightly more specific"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":531.36,"endTime":536.91,"body":"inclination than just sir. And"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":531.36,"endTime":536.91,"body":"with a stronger emphasis on"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":537.15,"endTime":541.05,"body":"guidance, support and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":537.15,"endTime":541.05,"body":"mentorship. In general,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":541.05,"endTime":544.56,"body":"mentorship is an important part"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":541.05,"endTime":544.56,"body":"of my life. You know, when I was"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":544.95,"endTime":548.73,"body":"coming out into leather, I had"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":544.95,"endTime":548.73,"body":"the most incredible teachers, I"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":548.73,"endTime":554.52,"body":"had the most incredible mentors."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":548.73,"endTime":554.52,"body":"And I'm blessed. absolutely"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":554.52,"endTime":557.46,"body":"blessed in my leather journey"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":554.52,"endTime":557.46,"body":"without a question. And there's"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":557.46,"endTime":561.51,"body":"a real sense that it's time for"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":557.46,"endTime":561.51,"body":"me to pay that forward and daddy"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":561.51,"endTime":568.32,"body":"is what allows me to do that. So"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":561.51,"endTime":568.32,"body":"as I sit here at 52 as Daddy"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":568.32,"endTime":573.39,"body":"sir, or sir daddy, as someone"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":568.32,"endTime":573.39,"body":"able to equally occupied daddy"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":573.39,"endTime":577.05,"body":"answer, I'm not sure what comes"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":573.39,"endTime":577.05,"body":"next for me. You know, this is"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":577.05,"endTime":581.88,"body":"an evolutionary path for me too,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":577.05,"endTime":581.88,"body":"as I encounter new people, and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":581.88,"endTime":585.51,"body":"they awaken new things in me and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":581.88,"endTime":585.51,"body":"they call out new things to me."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":586.05,"endTime":589.74,"body":"I'm pretty certain though that"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":586.05,"endTime":589.74,"body":"however I continue to evolve and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":589.74,"endTime":593.52,"body":"no matter who entrust my life,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":589.74,"endTime":593.52,"body":"there will be a very strong"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":593.55,"endTime":598.32,"body":"element of daddy in me for the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":593.55,"endTime":598.32,"body":"rest of my existence. And I"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":598.35,"endTime":602.04,"body":"think about the rest of my"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":598.35,"endTime":602.04,"body":"existence. That's a lot. That's"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":602.04,"endTime":605.22,"body":"something that happened to me in"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":602.04,"endTime":605.22,"body":"my 50s. I don't know if it's"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":605.22,"endTime":609.42,"body":"pretty common for leather folk"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":605.22,"endTime":609.42,"body":"of a certain age. But it was"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":609.42,"endTime":612.78,"body":"very common for me that I think"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":609.42,"endTime":612.78,"body":"about my existence a lot, I"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":612.78,"endTime":616.77,"body":"think about where I've been what"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":612.78,"endTime":616.77,"body":"I've accomplished more than"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":616.77,"endTime":620.13,"body":"anything, I think about how much"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":616.77,"endTime":620.13,"body":"time I have left. And that I"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":620.16,"endTime":621.0,"body":"don't know."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":622.41,"endTime":625.56,"body":"And that, and that's not just"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":622.41,"endTime":625.56,"body":"God, it's just not, it's not"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":625.56,"endTime":629.01,"body":"just Neil iStick negative"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":625.56,"endTime":629.01,"body":"thinking. But I'm at an age"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":629.01,"endTime":633.57,"body":"where a lot of my peers are"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":629.01,"endTime":633.57,"body":"having strokes, having heart"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":633.57,"endTime":637.68,"body":"attacks, having cancer. And I"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":633.57,"endTime":637.68,"body":"don't know that I've lost"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":637.68,"endTime":642.9,"body":"someone of my peers. I don't"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":637.68,"endTime":642.9,"body":"know that I've lost someone. But"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":642.9,"endTime":647.88,"body":"I've had a lot of people"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":642.9,"endTime":647.88,"body":"encounter life threatening"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":647.88,"endTime":651.99,"body":"situations. And that makes me"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":647.88,"endTime":651.99,"body":"extraordinarily aware of my own"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":651.99,"endTime":657.81,"body":"mortality in a way that can be"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":651.99,"endTime":657.81,"body":"motivating, that gets me to do"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":657.81,"endTime":661.38,"body":"as much as I can in this world"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":657.81,"endTime":661.38,"body":"while I'm in it. And in a way"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":661.38,"endTime":666.27,"body":"that can be a little disabling"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":661.38,"endTime":666.27,"body":"and a little frustrating, and a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":666.27,"endTime":673.32,"body":"little. Not fun, shall we say?"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":666.27,"endTime":673.32,"body":"So no matter what comes next, no"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":673.32,"endTime":678.0,"body":"matter how much time I am"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":673.32,"endTime":678.0,"body":"granted, I'm Daddy, and I'm"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":678.0,"endTime":682.68,"body":"going to remain daddy. And maybe"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":678.0,"endTime":682.68,"body":"I'll be daddy for you."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":686.67,"endTime":690.87,"body":"Traditionally, the second"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":686.67,"endTime":690.87,"body":"segment is a how to, but I'm not"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":690.87,"endTime":696.3,"body":"sure anyone can really how to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":690.87,"endTime":696.3,"body":"dairying, I think it ends up"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":696.3,"endTime":700.89,"body":"being slightly instinctive, and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":696.3,"endTime":700.89,"body":"in part, almost by necessity,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":701.34,"endTime":705.69,"body":"driven by a sort of trial and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":701.34,"endTime":705.69,"body":"error. You know, because Daddy"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":705.72,"endTime":711.09,"body":"is weird. On the one hand, it's"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":705.72,"endTime":711.09,"body":"a noun, it's an identity, right?"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":711.09,"endTime":716.07,"body":"You can be a daddy. But at the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":711.09,"endTime":716.07,"body":"same time, it's an adjective."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":716.1,"endTime":721.62,"body":"It's a modifying descriptor. So"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":716.1,"endTime":721.62,"body":"you can be a Daddy bear, or you"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":721.62,"endTime":726.6,"body":"can be a daddy pup, or you can"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":721.62,"endTime":726.6,"body":"be a daddy, whatever. It both"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":726.6,"endTime":732.27,"body":"describes an identity and an"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":726.6,"endTime":732.27,"body":"energy. And it's an energy that"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":732.27,"endTime":737.7,"body":"exists in two intersecting"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":732.27,"endTime":737.7,"body":"scales. So there's a scale from"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":737.73,"endTime":741.18,"body":"submissive to dominant, and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":737.73,"endTime":741.18,"body":"daddy is on the dominant side of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":741.18,"endTime":746.97,"body":"things. But there's also a scale"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":741.18,"endTime":746.97,"body":"of dominance. Maybe scales the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":746.97,"endTime":750.72,"body":"wrong word, because I don't want"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":746.97,"endTime":750.72,"body":"to rank one over the other. But"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":750.72,"endTime":754.47,"body":"there are many different ways to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":750.72,"endTime":754.47,"body":"be dominant and daddy is very"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":754.47,"endTime":759.9,"body":"different from Master is a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":754.47,"endTime":759.9,"body":"little different, even from Sir"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":759.9,"endTime":765.54,"body":"it is a very specific energy."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":759.9,"endTime":765.54,"body":"No, part of what's also weird"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":765.54,"endTime":770.01,"body":"about Daddy is that as a noun,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":765.54,"endTime":770.01,"body":"when you say you are daddy as an"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":770.01,"endTime":775.08,"body":"identity, it suggests an age we"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":770.01,"endTime":775.08,"body":"tend to think of daddies as"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":775.11,"endTime":781.17,"body":"older. However, this is not"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":775.11,"endTime":781.17,"body":"inherently true. Correlation is"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":781.17,"endTime":785.82,"body":"not causation. So yes, a lot of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":781.17,"endTime":785.82,"body":"daddies are older, and a lot of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":785.82,"endTime":791.55,"body":"boys are younger, but you can be"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":785.82,"endTime":791.55,"body":"a daddy at any age. And this is"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":791.58,"endTime":796.08,"body":"literally true. You know, there"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":791.58,"endTime":796.08,"body":"are literally young fathers who"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":796.08,"endTime":801.09,"body":"are having children at 16. And"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":796.08,"endTime":801.09,"body":"they are now daddy's. So we need"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":801.09,"endTime":805.38,"body":"to break through this sort of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":801.09,"endTime":805.38,"body":"cultural perception that daddy"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":805.41,"endTime":810.42,"body":"is related to an age and instead"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":805.41,"endTime":810.42,"body":"see it as an identity available"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":810.45,"endTime":815.55,"body":"to anyone who feels like they're"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":810.45,"endTime":815.55,"body":"a daddy. It is equally claimable"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":815.55,"endTime":819.57,"body":"by anyone who wants to have that"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":815.55,"endTime":819.57,"body":"identity. And then the challenge"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":819.57,"endTime":824.43,"body":"becomes living in it, honoring"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":819.57,"endTime":824.43,"body":"it, growing in it, and then"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":824.43,"endTime":829.68,"body":"accessing that sort of Daddy"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":824.43,"endTime":829.68,"body":"energy. At the same time, you"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":829.68,"endTime":833.85,"body":"know, first of all, Daddy's"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":829.68,"endTime":833.85,"body":"pretty specifically a gay male"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":833.85,"endTime":837.87,"body":"phenomenon, to the extent that"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":833.85,"endTime":837.87,"body":"I, as far as I know, right,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":837.87,"endTime":842.49,"body":"like, there are there, it's not"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":837.87,"endTime":842.49,"body":"as big I don't think in lesbian"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":842.49,"endTime":845.22,"body":"communities, although I think"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":842.49,"endTime":845.22,"body":"they are certainly lesbian"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":845.22,"endTime":848.91,"body":"daddies out there, I want to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":845.22,"endTime":848.91,"body":"say, and from my limited"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":848.91,"endTime":852.87,"body":"exposure to heterosexual kin"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":848.91,"endTime":852.87,"body":"communities, Daddy's not a thing"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":852.9,"endTime":858.66,"body":"either. It is not as big"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":852.9,"endTime":858.66,"body":"anywhere, to my knowledge as it"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":858.66,"endTime":861.66,"body":"is in the gay male community."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":858.66,"endTime":861.66,"body":"And that's not superduper"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":861.66,"endTime":866.94,"body":"surprising. A lot of gay men"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":861.66,"endTime":866.94,"body":"don't have the best historical"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":866.94,"endTime":870.3,"body":"relationships with their"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":866.94,"endTime":870.3,"body":"biological fathers. We often"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":870.6,"endTime":875.16,"body":"have very troubled relationships"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":870.6,"endTime":875.16,"body":"with our biological fathers, and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":875.16,"endTime":877.89,"body":"for many years, I had a very"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":875.16,"endTime":877.89,"body":"troubled relationship with mine."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":878.28,"endTime":880.47,"body":"Fortunately, we were able to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":878.28,"endTime":880.47,"body":"mend it towards the end of his"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":880.47,"endTime":885.57,"body":"life. So it's not surprising to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":880.47,"endTime":885.57,"body":"me that this is a particularly"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":885.57,"endTime":892.17,"body":"gay male phenomenon. And as part"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":885.57,"endTime":892.17,"body":"of that, as much as as much as"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":892.17,"endTime":896.4,"body":"daddy's available at any chance"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":892.17,"endTime":896.4,"body":"at any age, it's also true that"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":896.73,"endTime":900.51,"body":"if you're gay male, at some"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":896.73,"endTime":900.51,"body":"point, you will look Experience"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":900.51,"endTime":905.46,"body":"what I call the daddy turn. So"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":900.51,"endTime":905.46,"body":"you're trucking along on your"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":905.46,"endTime":909.18,"body":"apps and on your social media"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":905.46,"endTime":909.18,"body":"looking for a good time. And"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":909.45,"endTime":913.74,"body":"sooner or later, at some age,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":909.45,"endTime":913.74,"body":"someone younger than you is"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":913.74,"endTime":917.46,"body":"going to approach you on some"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":913.74,"endTime":917.46,"body":"app or at the bar or on a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":917.46,"endTime":923.07,"body":"website and call you, daddy. And"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":917.46,"endTime":923.07,"body":"that can be an incredibly"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":923.07,"endTime":928.89,"body":"complex moment. So if you are"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":923.07,"endTime":928.89,"body":"boy identified, then it can be"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":928.89,"endTime":931.92,"body":"really troubling, because it"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":928.89,"endTime":931.92,"body":"suggests that somehow you're"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":931.95,"endTime":935.88,"body":"aging out of your boy Enos,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":931.95,"endTime":935.88,"body":"that's not true. But that"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":935.88,"endTime":938.04,"body":"cultural perception will be"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":935.88,"endTime":938.04,"body":"there. And that can be"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":938.28,"endTime":942.48,"body":"extraordinarily challenging to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":938.28,"endTime":942.48,"body":"you as a boy when you reach the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":942.48,"endTime":947.46,"body":"daddy turn. But for other men,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":942.48,"endTime":947.46,"body":"it can be very powerful and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":947.46,"endTime":950.88,"body":"affirming. If you were a young"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":947.46,"endTime":950.88,"body":"daddy, say you were daddy"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":950.88,"endTime":955.05,"body":"identified at 22, you might have"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":950.88,"endTime":955.05,"body":"felt no one really believed you."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":955.14,"endTime":958.8,"body":"And no one really affirmed you."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":955.14,"endTime":958.8,"body":"So that moment when someone sees"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":958.8,"endTime":962.19,"body":"you a daddy as Daddy and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":958.8,"endTime":962.19,"body":"recognizes you, that can be"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":962.25,"endTime":965.01,"body":"superduper powerful. And then"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":962.25,"endTime":965.01,"body":"there are a bunch of us also"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":965.01,"endTime":969.51,"body":"that sort of fall in between"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":965.01,"endTime":969.51,"body":"where it first is like, no, no,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":969.51,"endTime":974.22,"body":"I'm not daddy. No, no, no, no,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":969.51,"endTime":974.22,"body":"no, no, I'm not daddy, until"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":974.22,"endTime":978.21,"body":"eventually you're like, well,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":974.22,"endTime":978.21,"body":"actually, he's kind of hot. I"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":978.24,"endTime":980.52,"body":"yeah, I want to get with him."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":978.24,"endTime":980.52,"body":"I'll be damned if he wants me,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":980.52,"endTime":984.09,"body":"daddy. And so we try it on for a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":980.52,"endTime":984.09,"body":"moment. And then we discover"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":984.09,"endTime":988.89,"body":"it's very comfortable. So the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":984.09,"endTime":988.89,"body":"daddy turn is inevitable, as far"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":988.89,"endTime":993.6,"body":"as I know, for all gay men, and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":988.89,"endTime":993.6,"body":"complex, depending on your"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":993.6,"endTime":998.25,"body":"identity, your affinity, and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":993.6,"endTime":998.25,"body":"your willingness to grow,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":998.25,"endTime":1001.64,"body":"evolve. And whether or not"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":998.25,"endTime":1001.64,"body":"that's right for you at all."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1003.02,"endTime":1009.29,"body":"Daddy energy for me is loving"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1003.02,"endTime":1009.29,"body":"and protective. It is fatherly,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1009.32,"endTime":1014.09,"body":"it is paternal. It is about"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1009.32,"endTime":1014.09,"body":"mentorship. And it is about"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1014.12,"endTime":1018.89,"body":"guidance. And it's about wisdom"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1014.12,"endTime":1018.89,"body":"from life experience. And I"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1018.89,"endTime":1022.55,"body":"think that's part of the reason"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1018.89,"endTime":1022.55,"body":"I feel like young daddies are as"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1022.55,"endTime":1028.19,"body":"legitimate as any other kind of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1022.55,"endTime":1028.19,"body":"daddy's. Because this is not"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1028.43,"endTime":1034.46,"body":"dependent upon age, it is"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1028.43,"endTime":1034.46,"body":"dependent upon experience. And"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1034.46,"endTime":1038.93,"body":"life tends to be distributed"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1034.46,"endTime":1038.93,"body":"unevenly. So some people even at"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1038.93,"endTime":1043.31,"body":"a very young age, will have had"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1038.93,"endTime":1043.31,"body":"a lot of life, a lot of trauma,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1043.58,"endTime":1047.51,"body":"a lot of challenges, a lot of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1043.58,"endTime":1047.51,"body":"roadblocks, a lot of pain. And"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1047.51,"endTime":1051.08,"body":"as they move through that, they"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1047.51,"endTime":1051.08,"body":"gain wisdom and experience,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1051.08,"endTime":1054.08,"body":"which activates that daddy"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1051.08,"endTime":1054.08,"body":"energy, which gives them an"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1054.11,"endTime":1058.67,"body":"opportunity to guide others"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1054.11,"endTime":1058.67,"body":"younger or older. Right, because"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1058.67,"endTime":1061.49,"body":"you're gonna have a young daddy"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1058.67,"endTime":1061.49,"body":"with an older boy, it gives them"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1061.49,"endTime":1065.81,"body":"the opportunity to guide others"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1061.49,"endTime":1065.81,"body":"through their own journeys. So"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1066.08,"endTime":1070.37,"body":"dad energy is, I think, really"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1066.08,"endTime":1070.37,"body":"beautiful. In part, I think, for"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1070.37,"endTime":1073.94,"body":"me, it's beautiful, because it's"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1070.37,"endTime":1073.94,"body":"protective. And for me feeling"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1073.94,"endTime":1077.9,"body":"safe is my God is the most"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1073.94,"endTime":1077.9,"body":"important thing in the world."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1078.32,"endTime":1081.89,"body":"And I've spent a lot of my life,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1078.32,"endTime":1081.89,"body":"learning how to keep myself"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1081.89,"endTime":1084.83,"body":"safe, and it's a little"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1081.89,"endTime":1084.83,"body":"exhausting. And it's beautiful"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1084.83,"endTime":1089.72,"body":"to have someone in my life who"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1084.83,"endTime":1089.72,"body":"makes me feel safe. So Daddy"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1089.72,"endTime":1094.46,"body":"energy is really, really"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1089.72,"endTime":1094.46,"body":"beautiful. And to that end, it's"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1094.46,"endTime":1099.17,"body":"also worth noting that sometimes"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1094.46,"endTime":1099.17,"body":"daddy's need daddy's that"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1099.17,"endTime":1103.28,"body":"there's absolutely nothing wrong"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1099.17,"endTime":1103.28,"body":"if you are daddy identified, to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1103.28,"endTime":1107.06,"body":"yearn to have a some own figure"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1103.28,"endTime":1107.06,"body":"in your life that you can call"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1107.06,"endTime":1112.16,"body":"daddy, someone who makes you"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1107.06,"endTime":1112.16,"body":"feel safe. It doesn't make you"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1112.19,"endTime":1115.37,"body":"less of a daddy yourself. It"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1112.19,"endTime":1115.37,"body":"doesn't make you less of a sir"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1115.37,"endTime":1118.91,"body":"less of a master less of a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1115.37,"endTime":1118.91,"body":"puppet doesn't make you less of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1119.09,"endTime":1124.7,"body":"anything. It makes you human."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1119.09,"endTime":1124.7,"body":"Because we all need someone who"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1124.7,"endTime":1130.37,"body":"can say to us, say to us and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1124.7,"endTime":1130.37,"body":"have us fundamentally believe"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1130.37,"endTime":1136.37,"body":"them. say to us, everything is"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1130.37,"endTime":1136.37,"body":"going to be okay. Everything's"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1136.37,"endTime":1140.45,"body":"gonna be okay. No matter what's"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1136.37,"endTime":1140.45,"body":"going on or our life, Daddy can"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1140.45,"endTime":1145.04,"body":"say, Everything's gonna be okay."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1140.45,"endTime":1145.04,"body":"And somehow we believe them. We"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1145.04,"endTime":1147.53,"body":"believe that no matter what"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1145.04,"endTime":1147.53,"body":"we're facing, we can move"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1147.53,"endTime":1152.18,"body":"through it. Because we have this"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1147.53,"endTime":1152.18,"body":"anchor of strength, life, wisdom"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1152.18,"endTime":1155.78,"body":"and experience, this loving"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1152.18,"endTime":1155.78,"body":"guidance that will be there,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1156.17,"endTime":1160.94,"body":"even when we fall, particularly"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1156.17,"endTime":1160.94,"body":"when we fall to help us get up"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1160.94,"endTime":1164.75,"body":"again, and keep going. So I"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1160.94,"endTime":1164.75,"body":"don't have any specific"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1164.84,"endTime":1168.95,"body":"guidelines on how to become a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1164.84,"endTime":1168.95,"body":"daddy, I simply have some"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1168.95,"endTime":1173.96,"body":"takeaways. A daddy is both an"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1168.95,"endTime":1173.96,"body":"identity and an energy, that it"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1173.96,"endTime":1178.7,"body":"can be something you are or it"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1173.96,"endTime":1178.7,"body":"can be a descriptor, a modifier"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1178.82,"endTime":1184.85,"body":"of your kink identity. That it's"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1178.82,"endTime":1184.85,"body":"implied a certain age, but not"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1184.85,"endTime":1188.12,"body":"necessarily so you can be a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1184.85,"endTime":1188.12,"body":"daddy at any age just as you can"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1188.12,"endTime":1192.95,"body":"be a boy at any age. That being"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1188.12,"endTime":1192.95,"body":"said, all gay men are probably"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1192.95,"endTime":1197.36,"body":"going to hit the daddy turn. And"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1192.95,"endTime":1197.36,"body":"that will likely be for most of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1197.36,"endTime":1202.97,"body":"us a very complex moment. But"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1197.36,"endTime":1202.97,"body":"regardless, as we gain life"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1202.97,"endTime":1206.96,"body":"experience and learn from life"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1202.97,"endTime":1206.96,"body":"and garner that wisdom, I think"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1206.96,"endTime":1209.6,"body":"we tend to accumulate that"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1206.96,"endTime":1209.6,"body":"energy that can be shared with"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1209.6,"endTime":1213.59,"body":"others. But even in that there"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1209.6,"endTime":1213.59,"body":"may be times when we need it"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1213.59,"endTime":1219.05,"body":"ourselves. And it's perfectly"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1213.59,"endTime":1219.05,"body":"perfectly perfectly okay to turn"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1219.05,"endTime":1223.79,"body":"to someone to get it. And those"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1219.05,"endTime":1223.79,"body":"are my notes on daddies, I hope"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1223.79,"endTime":1228.26,"body":"has provided you some insight."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1223.79,"endTime":1228.26,"body":"And hopefully in my own little"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1228.26,"endTime":1232.88,"body":"way, I've been a daddy for you"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1228.26,"endTime":1232.88,"body":"during these short minutes, and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1232.88,"endTime":1235.28,"body":"offered you a little bit of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1232.88,"endTime":1235.28,"body":"wisdom from my own life"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1235.28,"endTime":1243.26,"body":"experience. Welcome to Ask edge"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1235.28,"endTime":1243.26,"body":"where I answer questions"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1243.26,"endTime":1247.91,"body":"submitted by all of you, my"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1243.26,"endTime":1247.91,"body":"listeners. I have several"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1247.91,"endTime":1252.68,"body":"questions in this episode. And I"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1247.91,"endTime":1252.68,"body":"am so grateful for all of you"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1252.71,"endTime":1256.4,"body":"who took the time to leave me a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1252.71,"endTime":1256.4,"body":"voicemail or email me a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1256.4,"endTime":1260.75,"body":"question, because it is pretty"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1256.4,"endTime":1260.75,"body":"vital to helping support this"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1260.75,"endTime":1265.19,"body":"podcast, because it gives me a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1260.75,"endTime":1265.19,"body":"chance to interact and add new"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1265.19,"endTime":1269.27,"body":"voices without having to hunt"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1265.19,"endTime":1269.27,"body":"down interviews. And I'm just"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1269.27,"endTime":1272.81,"body":"really grateful that all of you"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1269.27,"endTime":1272.81,"body":"are willing to help me make this"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1272.81,"endTime":1277.16,"body":"more successful. That means a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1272.81,"endTime":1277.16,"body":"lot to me. So our first question"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1277.19,"endTime":1282.26,"body":"is from boy print, and he asks,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1277.19,"endTime":1282.26,"body":"In previous episodes, you've"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1282.26,"endTime":1285.47,"body":"talked about highs and lows of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1282.26,"endTime":1285.47,"body":"feelings in the leather scene."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1285.92,"endTime":1290.78,"body":"What kind of things do you find"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1285.92,"endTime":1290.78,"body":"help recover your mojo is"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1290.81,"endTime":1295.82,"body":"gearing up having a cigar having"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1290.81,"endTime":1295.82,"body":"an intimate scene, understand"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1295.82,"endTime":1299.87,"body":"giving yourself time if"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1295.82,"endTime":1299.87,"body":"necessary for it to come back."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1300.17,"endTime":1302.99,"body":"But I've also observed that when"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1300.17,"endTime":1302.99,"body":"one is ready to dip their toes"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1302.99,"endTime":1307.58,"body":"back in the proverbial pond,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1302.99,"endTime":1307.58,"body":"certain rituals can reignite or"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1307.58,"endTime":1312.5,"body":"kickstart that spark is a great"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1307.58,"endTime":1312.5,"body":"question. Since I'm still in"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1312.5,"endTime":1316.43,"body":"this place where I don't feel"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1312.5,"endTime":1316.43,"body":"particularly connected to my"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1316.43,"endTime":1319.4,"body":"leather, I went out because a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1316.43,"endTime":1319.4,"body":"friend was in town, I went out"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1319.4,"endTime":1322.25,"body":"to the ramrod last night. And it"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1319.4,"endTime":1322.25,"body":"really just felt like putting on"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1322.25,"endTime":1328.64,"body":"clothes. So for me part is a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1322.25,"endTime":1328.64,"body":"check on what exactly is going"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1328.64,"endTime":1332.18,"body":"on. So I need to start by"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1328.64,"endTime":1332.18,"body":"looking at neuro chemical and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1332.18,"endTime":1338.84,"body":"biological factors. And right"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1332.18,"endTime":1338.84,"body":"now I am in a bit of a not in a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1338.84,"endTime":1342.32,"body":"great mood. But I've worked with"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1338.84,"endTime":1342.32,"body":"my doctor to identify what we"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1342.32,"endTime":1345.41,"body":"think that's about and I'm"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1342.32,"endTime":1345.41,"body":"taking steps to address it. So."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1345.74,"endTime":1348.65,"body":"So the first thing I always do"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1345.74,"endTime":1348.65,"body":"is check to make sure like, is"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1348.65,"endTime":1353.81,"body":"there some fixable cause here,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1348.65,"endTime":1353.81,"body":"you know, is there depression"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1353.81,"endTime":1356.33,"body":"that needs to be addressed or"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1353.81,"endTime":1356.33,"body":"some other biological"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1356.36,"endTime":1359.42,"body":"neurochemical issue that needs"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1356.36,"endTime":1359.42,"body":"to be addressed? Beyond that, I"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1359.42,"endTime":1364.25,"body":"agree with you, there are"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1359.42,"endTime":1364.25,"body":"certainly ways to reignite the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1364.25,"endTime":1368.69,"body":"connection. And a lot of it has"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1364.25,"endTime":1368.69,"body":"to do with taking actions and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1368.69,"endTime":1374.72,"body":"acting as if right. So there are"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1368.69,"endTime":1374.72,"body":"studies shown that if you smile,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1374.78,"endTime":1377.57,"body":"whether you're happy or not, if"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1374.78,"endTime":1377.57,"body":"you smile, your mood improves"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1377.75,"endTime":1383.48,"body":"the action and the acting as if"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1377.75,"endTime":1383.48,"body":"then translates into your neuro"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1383.48,"endTime":1387.41,"body":"chemistry. And there's something"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1383.48,"endTime":1387.41,"body":"similar for me with leather that"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1388.22,"endTime":1391.79,"body":"if I put myself into gear, if I"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1388.22,"endTime":1391.79,"body":"put myself in a highly erotic"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1391.79,"endTime":1396.98,"body":"context, if I put myself into"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1391.79,"endTime":1396.98,"body":"spaces where normally I would"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1396.98,"endTime":1400.52,"body":"feel connected to my leather,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1396.98,"endTime":1400.52,"body":"then I have a greater chance of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1400.52,"endTime":1404.66,"body":"reigniting that connection. It"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1400.52,"endTime":1404.66,"body":"didn't happen last night, I have"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1404.66,"endTime":1407.81,"body":"a leather dinner to go to this"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1404.66,"endTime":1407.81,"body":"evening, perhaps it will happen"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1407.81,"endTime":1413.42,"body":"then perhaps not. But that also"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1407.81,"endTime":1413.42,"body":"comes from recovery, my 12 step"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1413.42,"endTime":1417.29,"body":"recovery where we talk a lot"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1413.42,"endTime":1417.29,"body":"about acting as if. So when you"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1417.29,"endTime":1421.82,"body":"act as if you take the action"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1417.29,"endTime":1421.82,"body":"and then you you, you move the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1421.82,"endTime":1425.45,"body":"body and then the mind comes"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1421.82,"endTime":1425.45,"body":"along. So I absolutely agree"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1425.45,"endTime":1427.79,"body":"with you that there are steps"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1425.45,"endTime":1427.79,"body":"you can take and I think you"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1427.79,"endTime":1431.57,"body":"named some of them like having"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1427.79,"endTime":1431.57,"body":"that intimate scene, putting on"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1431.57,"endTime":1434.84,"body":"the leather or having a cigar."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1431.57,"endTime":1434.84,"body":"So once I've addressed some of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1434.84,"endTime":1437.39,"body":"the biological issues going on"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1434.84,"endTime":1437.39,"body":"with me right now then that's"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1437.39,"endTime":1440.51,"body":"probably something I'm going to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1437.39,"endTime":1440.51,"body":"pick up and do. And I love that"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1440.51,"endTime":1442.85,"body":"you were able to share that"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1440.51,"endTime":1442.85,"body":"that's something that works for"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1442.85,"endTime":1447.32,"body":"you as well. So thank you. And"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1442.85,"endTime":1447.32,"body":"our next question comes from the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1447.38,"endTime":1450.02,"body":"voicemail message on SpeakPipe"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1451.7,"endTime":1454.49,"body":"Hi, this is Rob from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1451.7,"endTime":1454.49,"body":"DC. I've been a fan of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1454.49,"endTime":1458.93,"body":"podcast for quite a while now. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1454.49,"endTime":1458.93,"body":"just finished the leather care"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1458.93,"endTime":1462.68,"body":"episode and really enjoyed it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1458.93,"endTime":1462.68,"body":"but I did have a question. Is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1462.68,"endTime":1466.91,"body":"there anything that you do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1462.68,"endTime":1466.91,"body":"differently or know of anyone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1466.91,"endTime":1469.73,"body":"that does differently for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1466.91,"endTime":1469.73,"body":"leather care specifically"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1469.73,"endTime":1474.92,"body":"regarding watersports and urine?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1469.73,"endTime":1474.92,"body":"Is there some way to help get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1474.92,"endTime":1478.58,"body":"that out a little bit better? Or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1474.92,"endTime":1478.58,"body":"even if it's just you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1478.58,"endTime":1480.77,"body":"sometimes you get a little"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1478.58,"endTime":1480.77,"body":"dribble inside your pants and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1480.77,"endTime":1484.19,"body":"you know cleaning that out?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1480.77,"endTime":1484.19,"body":"Appreciate the time the answer"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1484.19,"endTime":1484.61,"body":"Thank you."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1485.0,"endTime":1487.55,"body":"Let me start by saying"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1485.0,"endTime":1487.55,"body":"that I am no expert in"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1487.55,"endTime":1491.18,"body":"watersports. It's not something"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1487.55,"endTime":1491.18,"body":"I do a lot, mainly because I'm"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1491.18,"endTime":1495.41,"body":"pee shy. That being said, I"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1491.18,"endTime":1495.41,"body":"think first we need to really"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1495.41,"endTime":1498.83,"body":"figure out exactly what kind of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1495.41,"endTime":1498.83,"body":"piss we're talking about."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1499.28,"endTime":1504.08,"body":"Morning Is is very, very"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1499.28,"endTime":1504.08,"body":"different from beer piss or well"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1504.08,"endTime":1508.1,"body":"hydrated piss, which has a lot"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1504.08,"endTime":1508.1,"body":"higher water content. And if"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1508.1,"endTime":1511.31,"body":"we're talking about something"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1508.1,"endTime":1511.31,"body":"piss that's particularly clear"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1511.34,"endTime":1514.58,"body":"or not particularly strong, then"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1511.34,"endTime":1514.58,"body":"you can probably care for your"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1514.58,"endTime":1518.39,"body":"lead or the way you would"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1514.58,"endTime":1518.39,"body":"normally wipe it off, pat it dry"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1518.42,"endTime":1521.57,"body":"saddle soap Leather Conditioner."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1518.42,"endTime":1521.57,"body":"If we're talking about something"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1521.57,"endTime":1525.14,"body":"more like morning pairs,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1521.57,"endTime":1525.14,"body":"something really strong, then"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1525.14,"endTime":1528.95,"body":"that's might require a few more"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1525.14,"endTime":1528.95,"body":"steps. There's also a question"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1528.95,"endTime":1531.83,"body":"of how quickly you're taking"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1528.95,"endTime":1531.83,"body":"care of the leather. If you're"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1531.83,"endTime":1534.77,"body":"taking care of it immediately"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1531.83,"endTime":1534.77,"body":"after the scene, then that"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1534.77,"endTime":1537.8,"body":"doesn't require quite as much"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1534.77,"endTime":1537.8,"body":"care as if you're taking care of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1537.8,"endTime":1542.18,"body":"it one day later, or the next"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1537.8,"endTime":1542.18,"body":"weekend, two days later, right,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1542.18,"endTime":1546.68,"body":"something like that. So first,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1542.18,"endTime":1546.68,"body":"consider the strength of the PIs"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1546.68,"endTime":1550.49,"body":"and the length of time between"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1546.68,"endTime":1550.49,"body":"the scene and the care. Those"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1550.49,"endTime":1554.81,"body":"will be factors in determining"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1550.49,"endTime":1554.81,"body":"what action to take. It did ask"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1554.81,"endTime":1559.88,"body":"my boy, who is a boot black to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1554.81,"endTime":1559.88,"body":"activate his boot black network"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1559.88,"endTime":1563.24,"body":"for more information. And here's"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1559.88,"endTime":1563.24,"body":"the answer I got. And this is"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1563.24,"endTime":1567.47,"body":"from my boy. Well, it's from"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1563.24,"endTime":1567.47,"body":"Tabitha, I'm supposed to credit"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1567.53,"endTime":1572.45,"body":"Tabitha, but my boy tapped into"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1567.53,"endTime":1572.45,"body":"his secret boot black network."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1572.45,"endTime":1577.55,"body":"And here's the answer washe"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1572.45,"endTime":1577.55,"body":"first set out in son to open up"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1577.55,"endTime":1583.13,"body":"the pores, activated charcoal"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1577.55,"endTime":1583.13,"body":"shoe deodorizer in a bag. It may"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1583.13,"endTime":1587.18,"body":"not be perfect, but it will"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1583.13,"endTime":1587.18,"body":"improve over time. So that is"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1587.18,"endTime":1590.99,"body":"the other tip you might have."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1587.18,"endTime":1590.99,"body":"And I hope that gives you some"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1590.99,"endTime":1594.35,"body":"good guidance. And if anyone"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1590.99,"endTime":1594.35,"body":"else has other tips, I'm more"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1594.35,"endTime":1598.73,"body":"than happy to follow up on this"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1594.35,"endTime":1598.73,"body":"question in a later episode. Our"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1598.73,"endTime":1601.58,"body":"next question is also from"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1598.73,"endTime":1601.58,"body":"SpeakPipe."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1602.84,"endTime":1605.75,"body":"Hi edge, I've had a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1602.84,"endTime":1605.75,"body":"question that's been in the back"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1605.75,"endTime":1609.32,"body":"of my head. And it really came"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1605.75,"endTime":1609.32,"body":"forward after I listened to your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1609.32,"endTime":1613.79,"body":"connections video. I have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1609.32,"endTime":1613.79,"body":"several leather pieces. I like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1613.79,"endTime":1616.7,"body":"wearing them. I like the way"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1613.79,"endTime":1616.7,"body":"that I look when I wear them."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1617.21,"endTime":1620.93,"body":"But I still don't feel like I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1617.21,"endTime":1620.93,"body":"can call myself a leather"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1620.93,"endTime":1625.97,"body":"person. So I guess my question"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1620.93,"endTime":1625.97,"body":"to you is, what does it feel to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1625.97,"endTime":1629.06,"body":"you to be a leather person?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1625.97,"endTime":1629.06,"body":"Thank you so"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1629.06,"endTime":1634.73,"body":"much. For starters, let's"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1629.06,"endTime":1634.73,"body":"make one thing super clear. You"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1634.88,"endTime":1639.5,"body":"are another person when you say"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1634.88,"endTime":1639.5,"body":"you are a leather person. And"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1639.5,"endTime":1643.13,"body":"that is simply a fact, when we"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1639.5,"endTime":1643.13,"body":"have now membership"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1643.13,"endTime":1647.9,"body":"requirements, we have no guild"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1643.13,"endTime":1647.9,"body":"that you need to apply to. It is"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1647.9,"endTime":1653.42,"body":"all about claiming, owning and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1647.9,"endTime":1653.42,"body":"affirming your identity. That"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1653.42,"endTime":1658.43,"body":"being said, I can understand the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1653.42,"endTime":1658.43,"body":"sort of difficult journey it is"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1658.43,"endTime":1664.16,"body":"to do exactly that claim own and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1658.43,"endTime":1664.16,"body":"affirm that identity. And there"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1664.16,"endTime":1666.98,"body":"are a lot of things to be worked"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1664.16,"endTime":1666.98,"body":"through, including some things"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1666.98,"endTime":1669.62,"body":"where you're comparing yourself"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1666.98,"endTime":1669.62,"body":"to other other people and you"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1669.62,"endTime":1673.04,"body":"feel less than there might be"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1669.62,"endTime":1673.04,"body":"some residual shame, there might"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1673.04,"endTime":1677.24,"body":"be some fear of how people in"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1673.04,"endTime":1677.24,"body":"your life might react. So this"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1677.24,"endTime":1684.11,"body":"is very much an inside job. For"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1677.24,"endTime":1684.11,"body":"me, when I feel connected, or"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1684.11,"endTime":1688.85,"body":"when I'm in leather spaces, I"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1684.11,"endTime":1688.85,"body":"feel like I'm home, there's just"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1689.09,"endTime":1694.13,"body":"some part of me that settles"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1689.09,"endTime":1694.13,"body":"into place some part of me that"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1694.13,"endTime":1700.82,"body":"is restless elsewhere. And I'm"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1694.13,"endTime":1700.82,"body":"very clear like when I go to the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1700.82,"endTime":1705.29,"body":"ramrod I'm usually in full gear"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1700.82,"endTime":1705.29,"body":"or significant amounts of gear."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1705.56,"endTime":1708.41,"body":"And I'm usually one of the only"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1705.56,"endTime":1708.41,"body":"ones there and it doesn't matter"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1708.44,"endTime":1713.63,"body":"because that space belongs to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1708.44,"endTime":1713.63,"body":"leather people and I connect to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1713.84,"endTime":1716.66,"body":"the history of all the leather"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1713.84,"endTime":1716.66,"body":"people who have moved through"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1716.66,"endTime":1720.8,"body":"that space. All of this is"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1716.66,"endTime":1720.8,"body":"another way of saying that, when"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1720.8,"endTime":1722.84,"body":"I'm feeling connected in my"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1720.8,"endTime":1722.84,"body":"leather, I am feeling"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1722.84,"endTime":1727.28,"body":"comfortable in my skin. And in"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1722.84,"endTime":1727.28,"body":"my second skin. If we think of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1727.28,"endTime":1731.87,"body":"leather as a second skin,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1727.28,"endTime":1731.87,"body":"getting there means spending"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1731.87,"endTime":1736.01,"body":"time in leather, actually"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1731.87,"endTime":1736.01,"body":"getting used to wearing it,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1736.13,"endTime":1739.16,"body":"getting comfortable with it,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1736.13,"endTime":1739.16,"body":"feeling yourself being sexy in"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1739.16,"endTime":1743.6,"body":"it. And it involves connecting"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1739.16,"endTime":1743.6,"body":"to spaces of community where"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1743.6,"endTime":1748.43,"body":"people see you, there is nothing"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1743.6,"endTime":1748.43,"body":"worse than being expected,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1748.43,"endTime":1752.42,"body":"particularly a huge event like"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1748.43,"endTime":1752.42,"body":"IML you go to a big event, and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1752.42,"endTime":1755.51,"body":"you feel invisible, you feel"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1752.42,"endTime":1755.51,"body":"like people look right through"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1755.51,"endTime":1758.66,"body":"you. That's what makes you feel"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1755.51,"endTime":1758.66,"body":"like, okay, I'm not part of this"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1758.66,"endTime":1762.41,"body":"community at all. However, my"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1758.66,"endTime":1762.41,"body":"experience suggests that even at"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1762.41,"endTime":1766.13,"body":"the biggest events, there's such"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1762.41,"endTime":1766.13,"body":"diversity of kinds of people and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1766.13,"endTime":1771.11,"body":"kinds of kink and ways of doing"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1766.13,"endTime":1771.11,"body":"leather, that someone there will"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1771.11,"endTime":1777.05,"body":"see you and recognize you and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1771.11,"endTime":1777.05,"body":"all that it takes just that one"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1777.05,"endTime":1781.31,"body":"moment of recognition. You know,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1777.05,"endTime":1781.31,"body":"classically, I'm not sure we"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1781.31,"endTime":1785.33,"body":"ever set this down in leather"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1781.31,"endTime":1785.33,"body":"rules that don't exist. But at"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1785.33,"endTime":1789.44,"body":"the leather bar, I do this nod"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1785.33,"endTime":1789.44,"body":"of acknowledgement when I see"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1789.44,"endTime":1793.37,"body":"another another person and it"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1789.44,"endTime":1793.37,"body":"sort of slowly down into the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1793.37,"endTime":1796.91,"body":"left. It's like Oh, hey there"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1793.37,"endTime":1796.91,"body":"another person. Oh, yes, I"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1796.91,"endTime":1801.89,"body":"recognize you. I see you those"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1796.91,"endTime":1801.89,"body":"Moments are moments of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1801.89,"endTime":1805.88,"body":"validation and confirmation. So"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1801.89,"endTime":1805.88,"body":"if you're not yet feeling like a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1805.88,"endTime":1808.82,"body":"leather person, continue to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1805.88,"endTime":1808.82,"body":"spend your time in leather and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1808.82,"endTime":1811.76,"body":"feel it on you and feel"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1808.82,"endTime":1811.76,"body":"comfortable in it in your skin"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1811.76,"endTime":1815.48,"body":"and in your second skin. And"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1811.76,"endTime":1815.48,"body":"then you need to seek out places"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1815.48,"endTime":1819.26,"body":"that validate your own self"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1815.48,"endTime":1819.26,"body":"understanding and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1819.26,"endTime":1822.83,"body":"self-realization places of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1819.26,"endTime":1822.83,"body":"community, that can be really"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1822.83,"endTime":1825.41,"body":"challenging, that can be really"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1822.83,"endTime":1825.41,"body":"challenging depending on where"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1825.41,"endTime":1828.8,"body":"you live, and what sort of socio"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1825.41,"endTime":1828.8,"body":"economic resources and capital"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1828.8,"endTime":1832.94,"body":"are available to you. But I do"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1828.8,"endTime":1832.94,"body":"think that even if you look"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1832.94,"endTime":1837.11,"body":"virtual, you find places where"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1832.94,"endTime":1837.11,"body":"people see you. And then the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1837.11,"endTime":1840.29,"body":"rest is moving through the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1837.11,"endTime":1840.29,"body":"emotional baggage we carry, in"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1840.29,"endTime":1845.9,"body":"part from being seen. So when"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1840.29,"endTime":1845.9,"body":"I'm at my best, I just feel"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1845.93,"endTime":1849.95,"body":"comfortable, I just feel at"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1845.93,"endTime":1849.95,"body":"home, I feel whole, I feel"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1849.95,"endTime":1855.62,"body":"complete. I also feel very"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1849.95,"endTime":1855.62,"body":"sexual, I feel like the erotic"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1855.62,"endTime":1860.66,"body":"energy of me, I feel who I am in"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1855.62,"endTime":1860.66,"body":"that space. And it feels very"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1860.66,"endTime":1864.44,"body":"powerful. And not particularly"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1860.66,"endTime":1864.44,"body":"because I'm dominant identified,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1864.62,"endTime":1868.37,"body":"but the power of this kind of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1864.62,"endTime":1868.37,"body":"erotic truth that resonates and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1868.37,"endTime":1872.78,"body":"vibrates. So I hope that helps."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1868.37,"endTime":1872.78,"body":"Our next question was emailed"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1872.78,"endTime":1878.18,"body":"in, and it is, in an early"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1872.78,"endTime":1878.18,"body":"episode, you refer to leather"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1878.18,"endTime":1883.34,"body":"folk as the priests of the LGBTQ"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1878.18,"endTime":1883.34,"body":"commanded community. Can you"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1883.34,"endTime":1889.43,"body":"tell us more about that? Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1883.34,"endTime":1889.43,"body":"okay. Wow, that sometimes I say"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1889.43,"endTime":1893.09,"body":"things and don't quite realize"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1889.43,"endTime":1893.09,"body":"that I say them fully. And this"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1893.09,"endTime":1896.72,"body":"is entirely my personal"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1893.09,"endTime":1896.72,"body":"perception, I don't want it to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1896.72,"endTime":1900.95,"body":"carry any weight of truth. I"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1896.72,"endTime":1900.95,"body":"think for me, the reason leather"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1900.95,"endTime":1904.97,"body":"folk, as always, have always"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1900.95,"endTime":1904.97,"body":"felt like if we were a tribe, we"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1904.97,"endTime":1909.5,"body":"would be the priests is because"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1904.97,"endTime":1909.5,"body":"leather is for me so deeply a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1909.5,"endTime":1915.68,"body":"spiritual experience. And, and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1909.5,"endTime":1915.68,"body":"it's really, in the best scenes,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1915.68,"endTime":1919.28,"body":"what I'm able to do is to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1915.68,"endTime":1919.28,"body":"connect the person with me, we"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1919.28,"endTime":1923.69,"body":"connect together to something"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1919.28,"endTime":1923.69,"body":"bigger than us. And the sum of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1923.69,"endTime":1928.28,"body":"energy we put into the scene"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1923.69,"endTime":1928.28,"body":"does not equal the energy output"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1928.28,"endTime":1931.79,"body":"that the energy of the scene is"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1928.28,"endTime":1931.79,"body":"bigger than what either one of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1931.79,"endTime":1935.21,"body":"us contributes. And that's a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1931.79,"endTime":1935.21,"body":"sort of magic. And, and because"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1935.21,"endTime":1937.67,"body":"of my personal experience,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1935.21,"endTime":1937.67,"body":"because leather is so centrally"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1937.67,"endTime":1941.6,"body":"spiritual to me. I've always"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1937.67,"endTime":1941.6,"body":"imagined leather folks, as the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1941.6,"endTime":1945.68,"body":"priests as sort of mediating"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1941.6,"endTime":1945.68,"body":"between the ordinary world, and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1945.68,"endTime":1950.3,"body":"the sacred the out of the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1945.68,"endTime":1950.3,"body":"ordinary world. And I as a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1950.3,"endTime":1956.0,"body":"corollary, I've always imagined"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1950.3,"endTime":1956.0,"body":"in this LGBTQ tribal community,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1956.21,"endTime":1959.93,"body":"that drag queens are the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1956.21,"endTime":1959.93,"body":"warriors. And you just have to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1959.93,"endTime":1963.32,"body":"look at the real world to see"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1959.93,"endTime":1963.32,"body":"that happening. If you think"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1963.32,"endTime":1966.86,"body":"about the roles they've played"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1963.32,"endTime":1966.86,"body":"in significant moments of our"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1966.86,"endTime":1970.79,"body":"history, including the Stonewall"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1966.86,"endTime":1970.79,"body":"riots, including the way they're"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1970.79,"endTime":1974.96,"body":"able to cut people down to size"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1970.79,"endTime":1974.96,"body":"on the street, I've always felt"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1974.96,"endTime":1978.32,"body":"like the drag queens are the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1974.96,"endTime":1978.32,"body":"warriors, and the leather folk"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1978.38,"endTime":1982.91,"body":"are the priests or priestesses I"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1978.38,"endTime":1982.91,"body":"should add. I hope that"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1982.91,"endTime":1985.52,"body":"clarifies things a little bit,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1982.91,"endTime":1985.52,"body":"it's really driven by my own"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1985.52,"endTime":1989.3,"body":"personal sense of spirituality."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1985.52,"endTime":1989.3,"body":"But also, actually, there's more"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1989.3,"endTime":1993.05,"body":"than that, too, right. So in in"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1989.3,"endTime":1993.05,"body":"tribal communities, the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1993.08,"endTime":1998.21,"body":"spiritual person often would be"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1993.08,"endTime":1998.21,"body":"on the edge, just outside the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1998.21,"endTime":2002.62,"body":"village. Because they were, they"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":1998.21,"endTime":2002.62,"body":"were seen as little beers, they"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2002.62,"endTime":2004.93,"body":"were seen a little different."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2002.62,"endTime":2004.93,"body":"They were seen as a little"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2004.93,"endTime":2008.83,"body":"frightening and a little scary."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2004.93,"endTime":2008.83,"body":"And they were happy to be on the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2008.83,"endTime":2011.65,"body":"edge, because part of their job"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2008.83,"endTime":2011.65,"body":"is to mediate between the worlds"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2011.65,"endTime":2014.29,"body":"of the village and the world"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2011.65,"endTime":2014.29,"body":"outside. So the fact that"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2014.29,"endTime":2020.14,"body":"leather folk are at time seen as"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2014.29,"endTime":2020.14,"body":"scary or vilified, or, you know,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2020.17,"endTime":2025.21,"body":"that misunderstood even within"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2020.17,"endTime":2025.21,"body":"the larger LGBT Q community is"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2025.21,"endTime":2029.86,"body":"another reason why I think they"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2025.21,"endTime":2029.86,"body":"fill that priestly role. And now"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2029.86,"endTime":2032.56,"body":"another voicemail message from"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2029.86,"endTime":2032.56,"body":"SpeakPipe."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2032.709,"endTime":2035.739,"body":"Hi, edge. This is David"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2032.709,"endTime":2035.739,"body":"from Kansas City. And I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2035.739,"endTime":2038.619,"body":"wondering, Where does your name"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2035.739,"endTime":2038.619,"body":"edge come from?"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2038.71,"endTime":2041.2,"body":"That's a great question."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2038.71,"endTime":2041.2,"body":"You know, a lot of times when"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2041.2,"endTime":2045.28,"body":"I'm on recon, or these other"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2041.2,"endTime":2045.28,"body":"leather fetish kinds of sites, a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2045.28,"endTime":2049.0,"body":"lot of people are checking me"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2045.28,"endTime":2049.0,"body":"out who are into edging, as in"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2049.0,"endTime":2054.01,"body":"being on the edge of orgasm. And"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2049.0,"endTime":2054.01,"body":"I'm in my in my head thinking,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2054.01,"endTime":2059.59,"body":"no, no, I'm not that edge. So it"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2054.01,"endTime":2059.59,"body":"goes all the way back to America"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2059.59,"endTime":2066.55,"body":"Online. And that was a sort of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2059.59,"endTime":2066.55,"body":"walled garden of an internet"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2066.55,"endTime":2071.32,"body":"before the internet. So you"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2066.55,"endTime":2071.32,"body":"could chat you could shop, you"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2071.32,"endTime":2076.21,"body":"could look at travel, you could"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2071.32,"endTime":2076.21,"body":"read the news. And that's what"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2076.21,"endTime":2079.18,"body":"America Online was and you would"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2076.21,"endTime":2079.18,"body":"have a screen name and I went"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2079.18,"endTime":2085.03,"body":"through several different screen"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2079.18,"endTime":2085.03,"body":"names and somewhere around 1995"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2085.3,"endTime":2089.08,"body":"I had reached a place in my"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2085.3,"endTime":2089.08,"body":"journey and at the time, I was a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2089.11,"endTime":2091.96,"body":"bottom not necessarily"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2089.11,"endTime":2091.96,"body":"submissive, but I was a bottom"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2092.32,"endTime":2096.55,"body":"and I had reached a place where"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2092.32,"endTime":2096.55,"body":"I just felt like, no one could"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2096.55,"endTime":2101.2,"body":"give me what I needed. And what"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2096.55,"endTime":2101.2,"body":"I needed was more And I was"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2101.2,"endTime":2105.79,"body":"really frustrated that I had"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2101.2,"endTime":2105.79,"body":"sort of maxed out the capability"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2105.85,"endTime":2110.86,"body":"of the tops I was able to find"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2105.85,"endTime":2110.86,"body":"locally. And so I made a couple,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2110.86,"endTime":2114.4,"body":"I think I made three or four"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2110.86,"endTime":2114.4,"body":"screen names trying to test out"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2114.4,"endTime":2117.76,"body":"different identities. And one of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2114.4,"endTime":2117.76,"body":"them was leather edge. And, you"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2117.76,"endTime":2122.08,"body":"know, interestingly, there was a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2117.76,"endTime":2122.08,"body":"limit to how many letters you"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2122.08,"endTime":2125.08,"body":"could use in a screen name and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2122.08,"endTime":2125.08,"body":"America Online. And I want to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2125.08,"endTime":2130.45,"body":"say it was maybe 10. So that's"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2125.08,"endTime":2130.45,"body":"why there are no vowels in the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2130.48,"endTime":2135.25,"body":"lthr. Because I was trying to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2130.48,"endTime":2135.25,"body":"conserve letters. And that's why"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2135.25,"endTime":2141.01,"body":"it's lthr e v, G, instead of all"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2135.25,"endTime":2141.01,"body":"spelled out. The idea behind"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2141.04,"endTime":2145.99,"body":"edge when I made that profile"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2141.04,"endTime":2145.99,"body":"was that I wanted to go further,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2146.02,"endTime":2149.71,"body":"I wanted to go to the edge. And"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2146.02,"endTime":2149.71,"body":"at the time, I was also"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2149.71,"endTime":2155.44,"body":"interested in a lot of different"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2149.71,"endTime":2155.44,"body":"forms of edge play. And you"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2155.44,"endTime":2158.71,"body":"know, I do a class on mindfuck"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2155.44,"endTime":2158.71,"body":"Oh, I'm gonna have to do that as"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2158.71,"endTime":2161.86,"body":"a podcast episode. Anyway, do a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2158.71,"endTime":2161.86,"body":"class online fuck. And what I"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2161.86,"endTime":2165.13,"body":"talk about is that every scene"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2161.86,"endTime":2165.13,"body":"has its own kind of edge"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2165.13,"endTime":2169.12,"body":"version. So plaster bondage has"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2165.13,"endTime":2169.12,"body":"a lot of risk, a lot of dangers,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2169.42,"endTime":2173.62,"body":"a very intense, that is kind of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2169.42,"endTime":2173.62,"body":"edge bondage. And, you know,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2173.62,"endTime":2177.49,"body":"Double fisting. Again, higher"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2173.62,"endTime":2177.49,"body":"risk, higher, higher intensity,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2177.52,"endTime":2181.27,"body":"higher skill, Edge form of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2177.52,"endTime":2181.27,"body":"fucking really, if you go all"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2181.27,"endTime":2185.14,"body":"the way back to it. So I was"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2181.27,"endTime":2185.14,"body":"into things like weapons, sex,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2185.17,"endTime":2192.07,"body":"and knockouts and mindfuck. And"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2185.17,"endTime":2192.07,"body":"those things were, the erotic"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2192.07,"endTime":2197.86,"body":"charge of the scene, in part was"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2192.07,"endTime":2197.86,"body":"provided by the adrenaline that"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2197.86,"endTime":2203.77,"body":"came from fear, risk, danger."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2197.86,"endTime":2203.77,"body":"And so originally, leather edge"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2203.77,"endTime":2208.12,"body":"was all about this hungry,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2203.77,"endTime":2208.12,"body":"dissatisfied bottom looking for"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2208.12,"endTime":2212.35,"body":"new experiences to take himself"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2208.12,"endTime":2212.35,"body":"further that were on the edge."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2212.53,"endTime":2214.84,"body":"And in fact, that was the name"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2212.53,"endTime":2214.84,"body":"of my original website on the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2214.84,"endTime":2218.62,"body":"edge. So that's where it came"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2214.84,"endTime":2218.62,"body":"from, you know, and it sort of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2218.62,"endTime":2221.32,"body":"morphed over time, particularly"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2218.62,"endTime":2221.32,"body":"when I started teaching"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2221.32,"endTime":2224.68,"body":"nationally, people just started"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2221.32,"endTime":2224.68,"body":"calling the edge much easier to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2224.68,"endTime":2228.79,"body":"remember. I certainly appreciate"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2224.68,"endTime":2228.79,"body":"that. And you know, someone on"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2228.82,"endTime":2233.53,"body":"Twitter stole lthr EDG II did"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2228.82,"endTime":2233.53,"body":"something super duper bad. I"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2233.53,"endTime":2236.23,"body":"don't know what but they got"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2233.53,"endTime":2236.23,"body":"themselves banned. So Twitter's"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2236.23,"endTime":2242.2,"body":"the one place where I don't have"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2236.23,"endTime":2242.2,"body":"the lthr EDG II handle, it is"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2242.2,"endTime":2246.01,"body":"leather edge spelled out. And"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2242.2,"endTime":2246.01,"body":"that causes some confusion. But"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2246.04,"endTime":2250.93,"body":"and since then, you know, I'm"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2246.04,"endTime":2250.93,"body":"not as into Edge activities. And"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2250.93,"endTime":2254.56,"body":"I think part of that is because"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2250.93,"endTime":2254.56,"body":"growth, evolution, but also"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2254.56,"endTime":2257.38,"body":"finding the kind of peace and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2254.56,"endTime":2257.38,"body":"satisfaction on where I am with"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2257.38,"endTime":2260.2,"body":"my journey. So that sense of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2257.38,"endTime":2260.2,"body":"needing to go further kind of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2260.2,"endTime":2266.44,"body":"dissipated. But I'm very fond of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2260.2,"endTime":2266.44,"body":"this sort of online moniker and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2266.44,"endTime":2270.49,"body":"I've spent goodness, I've spent"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2266.44,"endTime":2270.49,"body":"a couple of decades oh my god,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2270.55,"endTime":2275.08,"body":"I've spent almost 30, almost 30"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2270.55,"endTime":2275.08,"body":"years, kind of crafting that or"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2275.08,"endTime":2278.32,"body":"edge and being edge. So it means"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2275.08,"endTime":2278.32,"body":"a lot to me, and I'm keeping it."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2278.53,"endTime":2281.11,"body":"But that was a great question."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2278.53,"endTime":2281.11,"body":"Thank you. The next question was"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2281.11,"endTime":2286.09,"body":"emailed in, and it is, do you"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2281.11,"endTime":2286.09,"body":"have any tips for listeners"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2286.12,"endTime":2291.94,"body":"exploring CBT? Oh, wow, that is"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2286.12,"endTime":2291.94,"body":"a big open ended question up"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2291.97,"endTime":2295.51,"body":"reminder, I'm gonna have to do"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2291.97,"endTime":2295.51,"body":"an episode on CBT. At some"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2295.51,"endTime":2300.37,"body":"point, thank you, that's a great"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2295.51,"endTime":2300.37,"body":"idea. First of all, listen to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2300.37,"endTime":2303.43,"body":"your body, and all things and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2300.37,"endTime":2303.43,"body":"listen to your mind. So part of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2303.43,"endTime":2307.6,"body":"it is tuning into what you"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2303.43,"endTime":2307.6,"body":"fantasize about when you are"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2307.6,"endTime":2311.41,"body":"masturbating, and what's being"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2307.6,"endTime":2311.41,"body":"done to you. Because that's"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2311.41,"endTime":2314.59,"body":"obviously a clear indicator of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2311.41,"endTime":2314.59,"body":"where your buttons are and what"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2314.59,"endTime":2318.01,"body":"needs to be pushed. Then"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2314.59,"endTime":2318.01,"body":"listening to your body means"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2318.04,"endTime":2321.28,"body":"exploring your own body. I mean,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2318.04,"endTime":2321.28,"body":"CBT is wonderful, because you"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2321.28,"endTime":2325.96,"body":"can do it yourself, you can find"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2321.28,"endTime":2325.96,"body":"out what you like, and not like"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2325.99,"endTime":2328.0,"body":"all on your own and then"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2325.99,"endTime":2328.0,"body":"communicate that with other"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2328.0,"endTime":2332.89,"body":"people. Some people are very"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2328.0,"endTime":2332.89,"body":"into pressure, things like"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2332.89,"endTime":2335.17,"body":"squeezing or pulling"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2332.89,"endTime":2335.17,"body":"particularly on the balls, some"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2335.17,"endTime":2339.31,"body":"people are much more into impact"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2335.17,"endTime":2339.31,"body":"punching or something like that."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2339.79,"endTime":2343.81,"body":"And so that's all worth"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2339.79,"endTime":2343.81,"body":"exploring. I will say that"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2343.81,"endTime":2347.71,"body":"penises are tend to be highly"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2343.81,"endTime":2347.71,"body":"resilient, you know, it's"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2347.71,"endTime":2352.84,"body":"essentially a sponge. So you can"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2347.71,"endTime":2352.84,"body":"squish it, you can crush it, you"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2352.84,"endTime":2355.42,"body":"can roll it up into a little"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2352.84,"endTime":2355.42,"body":"ball and shove it inside the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2355.42,"endTime":2359.29,"body":"body. I mean, it's pretty,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2355.42,"endTime":2359.29,"body":"pretty resilient. Balls are"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2359.59,"endTime":2362.74,"body":"partially resilient, you know,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2359.59,"endTime":2362.74,"body":"can harm the testes, so we want"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2362.74,"endTime":2367.12,"body":"to be a little mindful of that."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2362.74,"endTime":2367.12,"body":"But again, if we're listening to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2367.12,"endTime":2370.54,"body":"the body, then we have a good"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2367.12,"endTime":2370.54,"body":"sense of where the biological"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2370.54,"endTime":2375.1,"body":"limits are. The important caveat"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2370.54,"endTime":2375.1,"body":"to that is, there are some men"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2375.1,"endTime":2380.08,"body":"who produce so many endorphins"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2375.1,"endTime":2380.08,"body":"in response to pain, that they"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2380.08,"endTime":2384.16,"body":"literally get high and can no"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2380.08,"endTime":2384.16,"body":"longer monitor safely their own"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2384.16,"endTime":2387.7,"body":"condition. If you know you're"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2384.16,"endTime":2387.7,"body":"one of those people, you need to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2387.7,"endTime":2390.49,"body":"communicate that to whatever"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2387.7,"endTime":2390.49,"body":"person you're playing with,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2390.52,"endTime":2393.61,"body":"because it's entirely possible"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2390.52,"endTime":2393.61,"body":"they could pull on your balls so"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2393.61,"endTime":2397.81,"body":"hard that you're there causing"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2393.61,"endTime":2397.81,"body":"damage and you don't realize it"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2397.81,"endTime":2401.89,"body":"and so you don't communicate it."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2397.81,"endTime":2401.89,"body":"I'm not a medical expert, I'd be"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2401.89,"endTime":2406.09,"body":"very curious to hear from anyone"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2401.89,"endTime":2406.09,"body":"who is either into CBT a lot or"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2406.09,"endTime":2409.63,"body":"has some medical expertise on"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2406.09,"endTime":2409.63,"body":"the particular risks. My guess"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2409.63,"endTime":2413.62,"body":"is there's a larger risk of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2409.63,"endTime":2413.62,"body":"harming the testes than there is"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2413.62,"endTime":2418.42,"body":"of harming the penis. That is my"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2413.62,"endTime":2418.42,"body":"guess. My general advice beyond"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2418.42,"endTime":2421.96,"body":"that, get education when you"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2418.42,"endTime":2421.96,"body":"can, if there are workshops, you"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2421.96,"endTime":2424.81,"body":"can attend at some of the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2421.96,"endTime":2424.81,"body":"national events or locally, do"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2424.81,"endTime":2427.84,"body":"that. If there is a local"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2424.81,"endTime":2427.84,"body":"leather store, go in and ask"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2427.84,"endTime":2430.9,"body":"questions. If there are local"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2427.84,"endTime":2430.9,"body":"leather players ask them"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2430.9,"endTime":2433.69,"body":"questions about their"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2430.9,"endTime":2433.69,"body":"experiences. It never hurts to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2433.69,"endTime":2437.05,"body":"do a lot of research about what"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2433.69,"endTime":2437.05,"body":"people do, what worked for them,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2437.08,"endTime":2442.27,"body":"what went wrong, and everything"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2437.08,"endTime":2442.27,"body":"like that. So personal"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2442.27,"endTime":2445.57,"body":"exploration of your own body,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2442.27,"endTime":2445.57,"body":"understanding what works and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2445.57,"endTime":2450.61,"body":"what doesn't work for you, being"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2445.57,"endTime":2450.61,"body":"mindful of your biological and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2450.61,"endTime":2455.65,"body":"mental erotic impulses, learning"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2450.61,"endTime":2455.65,"body":"to listen to your body. Also,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2455.65,"endTime":2458.14,"body":"when you've had enough or when"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2455.65,"endTime":2458.14,"body":"you've had too much, and also"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2458.14,"endTime":2461.08,"body":"knowing whether or not you're"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2458.14,"endTime":2461.08,"body":"capable of doing that based on"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2461.08,"endTime":2464.47,"body":"your endorphin response. And"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2461.08,"endTime":2464.47,"body":"then seeking as much education"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2464.47,"endTime":2468.34,"body":"as you can. Finally, like all"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2464.47,"endTime":2468.34,"body":"things in kink, don't start at"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2468.34,"endTime":2473.65,"body":"level 100. Start slow, build"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2468.34,"endTime":2473.65,"body":"slowly. And that's the other big"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2473.65,"endTime":2476.89,"body":"tip I would give you. So thank"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2473.65,"endTime":2476.89,"body":"you. And our last question for"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2476.89,"endTime":2480.13,"body":"this episode is also from email."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2476.89,"endTime":2480.13,"body":"Do you have any favorite"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2480.13,"endTime":2486.19,"body":"leathers slash BDSM artists? You"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2480.13,"endTime":2486.19,"body":"know, I don't? I don't. That's"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2486.37,"endTime":2491.08,"body":"the simple question is, I don't"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2486.37,"endTime":2491.08,"body":"thank you for asking. I would"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2491.08,"endTime":2494.38,"body":"have to say, though, that not a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2491.08,"endTime":2494.38,"body":"single one of us can really"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2494.41,"endTime":2498.79,"body":"escape the gravitational pull of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2494.41,"endTime":2498.79,"body":"Tom of Finland. And there's no"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2498.79,"endTime":2502.03,"body":"question that his work was very"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2498.79,"endTime":2502.03,"body":"impactful to me when I was"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2502.03,"endTime":2506.65,"body":"younger, in terms of shaping my"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2502.03,"endTime":2506.65,"body":"identity, and crafting my"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2506.65,"endTime":2510.85,"body":"leather aesthetic. But I'm not"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2506.65,"endTime":2510.85,"body":"really an art kind of person."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2510.85,"endTime":2513.82,"body":"Which is ironic because I'm in"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2510.85,"endTime":2513.82,"body":"the office slash playroom,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2514.0,"endTime":2520.36,"body":"looking at a wall full of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2514.0,"endTime":2520.36,"body":"original erotic kinky art. So I"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2520.36,"endTime":2524.74,"body":"don't look at art a lot. I in"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2520.36,"endTime":2524.74,"body":"fact, I don't look at porn a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2524.74,"endTime":2529.87,"body":"lot. I'm much more. Whatever you"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2524.74,"endTime":2529.87,"body":"want to say the written word is"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2529.9,"endTime":2532.93,"body":"it is visual, but it's not"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2529.9,"endTime":2532.93,"body":"visual. So a lot of my products"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2532.93,"endTime":2539.38,"body":"are driven by storytelling more"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2532.93,"endTime":2539.38,"body":"than particular images. I can"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2539.38,"endTime":2543.88,"body":"certainly appreciate a lot of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2539.38,"endTime":2543.88,"body":"the classic artists including"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2543.88,"endTime":2548.26,"body":"Rex and the Hun. These were"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2543.88,"endTime":2548.26,"body":"images I was seeing when I was"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2548.26,"endTime":2551.95,"body":"coming out and so they resonated"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2548.26,"endTime":2551.95,"body":"for me. The wreck Rex is a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2552.01,"endTime":2554.77,"body":"little bit darker than probably"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2552.01,"endTime":2554.77,"body":"most of the stuff I would like"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2554.77,"endTime":2558.73,"body":"erotically the Heine, I thought"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2554.77,"endTime":2558.73,"body":"had some beautiful artwork. But"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2558.76,"endTime":2561.67,"body":"I don't know that there's any"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2558.76,"endTime":2561.67,"body":"way of us avoiding tama,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2561.67,"endTime":2565.39,"body":"Finland. And so I think if I"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2561.67,"endTime":2565.39,"body":"were forced, if I were pressed"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2565.69,"endTime":2568.9,"body":"to say, Who's your favorite? I"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2565.69,"endTime":2568.9,"body":"would have to say, Tom of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2568.9,"endTime":2574.42,"body":"Finland, even though that is not"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2568.9,"endTime":2574.42,"body":"an uncomplicated answer, in some"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2574.42,"endTime":2577.99,"body":"time as a community, probably"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2574.42,"endTime":2577.99,"body":"not today, but at some point,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2578.02,"endTime":2580.54,"body":"we're gonna have to have a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2578.02,"endTime":2580.54,"body":"conversation about Tom of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2580.54,"endTime":2584.5,"body":"Finland, and a reckoning about"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2580.54,"endTime":2584.5,"body":"Toma, Finland in relation to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2585.34,"endTime":2588.64,"body":"many factors of his art, not the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2585.34,"endTime":2588.64,"body":"least of which is body types"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2588.67,"endTime":2594.04,"body":"when concomitant body issues."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2588.67,"endTime":2594.04,"body":"Wow, okay, so, great crop of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2594.04,"endTime":2596.68,"body":"questions, super grateful to you"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2594.04,"endTime":2596.68,"body":"all. If you would like to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2596.68,"endTime":2599.14,"body":"participate in this, you have a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2596.68,"endTime":2599.14,"body":"couple of options. You can leave"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2599.14,"endTime":2605.17,"body":"me a voicemail at"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2599.14,"endTime":2605.17,"body":"speakpipe.com/leather Edge lthr"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2605.2,"endTime":2611.44,"body":"E, TG E, or you can email me a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2605.2,"endTime":2611.44,"body":"question at ask at full cow dot"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2611.44,"endTime":2615.16,"body":"show. Please let me know whether"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2611.44,"endTime":2615.16,"body":"it's a voicemail or an email,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2615.16,"endTime":2619.0,"body":"let me know if I can use"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2615.16,"endTime":2619.0,"body":"particularly the voicemail. Do"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2619.0,"endTime":2622.42,"body":"you want me to use the audio? If"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2619.0,"endTime":2622.42,"body":"not, make sure to make that"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2622.42,"endTime":2625.63,"body":"clear. You're gonna be a podcast"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2622.42,"endTime":2625.63,"body":"episode. And let me know what to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2625.63,"endTime":2629.32,"body":"call you. Or if not, I'll just"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2625.63,"endTime":2629.32,"body":"keep it kind of anonymous. This"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2629.32,"endTime":2633.46,"body":"was just such a really deeply"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2629.32,"endTime":2633.46,"body":"fulfilling segment for me. And"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2633.46,"endTime":2636.1,"body":"I'm grateful to all of you and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2633.46,"endTime":2636.1,"body":"I'm hoping the questions will"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2636.1,"endTime":2636.7,"body":"keep coming."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2641.65,"endTime":2644.95,"body":"One of my listeners suggested it"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2641.65,"endTime":2644.95,"body":"would be a good idea to have a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2644.95,"endTime":2649.66,"body":"bedtime story as an occasional"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2644.95,"endTime":2649.66,"body":"part of the podcast. And in"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2649.66,"endTime":2654.91,"body":"fact, he wrote one for me to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2649.66,"endTime":2654.91,"body":"read to all of you. So thank"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2654.91,"endTime":2660.97,"body":"you, Maddie. This is for you."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2654.91,"endTime":2660.97,"body":"Another bedtime story. Please"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2660.97,"endTime":2664.42,"body":"take a moment to close your"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2660.97,"endTime":2664.42,"body":"eyes. Relax your face your neck."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2664.96,"endTime":2668.59,"body":"Breathe into your chest and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2664.96,"endTime":2668.59,"body":"back. Then allow them to relax"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2668.59,"endTime":2673.78,"body":"and let your breath out. Breathe"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2668.59,"endTime":2673.78,"body":"softly now. You're safe. You're"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2673.78,"endTime":2680.02,"body":"loved. You're exactly where you"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2673.78,"endTime":2680.02,"body":"need to be. He's panting"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2680.5,"endTime":2683.53,"body":"something wet moves between the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2680.5,"endTime":2683.53,"body":"skin of your back and his"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2683.53,"endTime":2688.36,"body":"stomach. Is it his sweat has"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2683.53,"endTime":2688.36,"body":"come. You're lying on all fours"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2688.36,"endTime":2692.32,"body":"on his large four poster bed."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2688.36,"endTime":2692.32,"body":"Your hands and feet are tied"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2692.32,"endTime":2695.77,"body":"together with rough rope."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2692.32,"endTime":2695.77,"body":"Everything is black with the eye"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2695.77,"endTime":2700.57,"body":"mask covering your eyes. You"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2695.77,"endTime":2700.57,"body":"cannot move but you do not want"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2700.69,"endTime":2704.68,"body":"or need to? You are exactly"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2700.69,"endTime":2704.68,"body":"where you need to be. He is"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2704.68,"endTime":2709.3,"body":"behind you. God damn boy. He"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2704.68,"endTime":2709.3,"body":"growls you can take it rough."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2709.75,"endTime":2713.2,"body":"Thank you, sir. You're trying to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2709.75,"endTime":2713.2,"body":"whisper and you would wear it"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2713.2,"endTime":2716.38,"body":"not for the gag in between your"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2713.2,"endTime":2716.38,"body":"teeth. HE CHUCKLES at your"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2716.38,"endTime":2720.04,"body":"attempt and ruffles your hair"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2716.38,"endTime":2720.04,"body":"softly. It just gets better"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2720.04,"endTime":2725.2,"body":"every damn time. You sigh and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2720.04,"endTime":2725.2,"body":"breathe him in the smell of his"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2725.2,"endTime":2729.22,"body":"leather oils, smokin sweat,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2725.2,"endTime":2729.22,"body":"mingling together on the end of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2729.22,"endTime":2733.63,"body":"your nose and the tip of your"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2729.22,"endTime":2733.63,"body":"tongue. A deep, familiar musk."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2734.11,"endTime":2737.2,"body":"One that is fast becoming a"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2734.11,"endTime":2737.2,"body":"scent you think about on nights"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2737.2,"endTime":2741.88,"body":"you spent alone. If you could"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2737.2,"endTime":2741.88,"body":"only bottle it up. Right kiddo,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2741.97,"endTime":2744.82,"body":"his rough boys breaks through"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2741.97,"endTime":2744.82,"body":"your reverie. Let's get you"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2744.82,"endTime":2749.5,"body":"tidied up. You swallow past the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2744.82,"endTime":2749.5,"body":"lump in your dry throat. You nod"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2749.5,"endTime":2753.76,"body":"silently, time to get untied."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2749.5,"endTime":2753.76,"body":"Time to get dressed and head"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2753.76,"endTime":2759.85,"body":"home and not see him for another"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2753.76,"endTime":2759.85,"body":"week. Maybe more. Maybe his big"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2759.85,"endTime":2764.98,"body":"warm hands on you touching from"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2759.85,"endTime":2764.98,"body":"your hair to your temples. soft"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2764.98,"endTime":2769.12,"body":"warm light on your eyelids as he"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2764.98,"endTime":2769.12,"body":"removes the blindfold those"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2769.12,"endTime":2773.74,"body":"fingers his course calloused"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2769.12,"endTime":2773.74,"body":"fingers, leaving tingling"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2773.74,"endTime":2776.74,"body":"furrows as they slide across"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2773.74,"endTime":2776.74,"body":"your skin to the buckle on the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2776.74,"endTime":2781.39,"body":"gag behind your neck. It pops"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2776.74,"endTime":2781.39,"body":"open under his touch, relaxing"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2781.39,"endTime":2784.93,"body":"the gag from your throat. He"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2781.39,"endTime":2784.93,"body":"carefully reaches around and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2785.23,"endTime":2790.15,"body":"open boy. You open your mouth"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2785.23,"endTime":2790.15,"body":"for him right away. The gag"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2790.15,"endTime":2793.6,"body":"comes free. Your tongue is free"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2790.15,"endTime":2793.6,"body":"to Dart and dance and speak"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2793.6,"endTime":2797.83,"body":"again. You lick your lips"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2793.6,"endTime":2797.83,"body":"swallowing saliva tasting of ash"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2797.83,"endTime":2803.77,"body":"and his cock. Thank you, sir."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2797.83,"endTime":2803.77,"body":"Good boy. Now arms. You can feel"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2803.77,"endTime":2806.86,"body":"his eyes on the back of your"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2803.77,"endTime":2806.86,"body":"neck as you raise your arms into"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2806.86,"endTime":2810.82,"body":"the air. With your feet still"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2806.86,"endTime":2810.82,"body":"tied. This stretch feels"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2810.91,"endTime":2815.59,"body":"especially vulnerable. As if you"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2810.91,"endTime":2815.59,"body":"were saying to him. Here I am."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2816.13,"endTime":2820.36,"body":"This is me. The black rope"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2816.13,"endTime":2820.36,"body":"slackens and falls away under"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2820.36,"endTime":2824.47,"body":"his fingertips. How could it"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2820.36,"endTime":2824.47,"body":"not? Everything gives weight his"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2824.47,"endTime":2829.36,"body":"touch. Everything relaxes under"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2824.47,"endTime":2829.36,"body":"him. Everything is better with"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2829.36,"endTime":2834.28,"body":"him. Those risks look a little"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2829.36,"endTime":2834.28,"body":"bit chafe son, he remarks. You"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2834.28,"endTime":2837.58,"body":"look down and see slightly"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2834.28,"endTime":2837.58,"body":"prickled tender skin where the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2837.58,"endTime":2840.7,"body":"rope has cut into your skin as"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2837.58,"endTime":2840.7,"body":"you arrived under his weight."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2841.48,"endTime":2845.53,"body":"It's okay sir. I don't mind."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2841.48,"endTime":2845.53,"body":"Your feet spring free from their"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2845.53,"endTime":2850.33,"body":"bonds. Your hips, thighs and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2845.53,"endTime":2850.33,"body":"legs relax under his touch into"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2850.33,"endTime":2853.75,"body":"your lying flat on your front."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2850.33,"endTime":2853.75,"body":"he inspects you carefully,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2853.9,"endTime":2857.83,"body":"thoughtfully. Those marks on"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2853.9,"endTime":2857.83,"body":"your ass are quite impressive"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2857.83,"endTime":2862.27,"body":"boy. The result of his hands,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2857.83,"endTime":2862.27,"body":"the strength he holds in them."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2862.42,"endTime":2867.46,"body":"His arms, his chest. He slaps"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2862.42,"endTime":2867.46,"body":"one of your cheeks playfully. It"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2867.46,"endTime":2871.09,"body":"stings enough to bring tears to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2867.46,"endTime":2871.09,"body":"your eyes. He sees you stiffen"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2871.09,"endTime":2876.01,"body":"under his touch. I'm sorry, boy."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2871.09,"endTime":2876.01,"body":"Did that hurt? No, sir. You"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2876.01,"endTime":2879.52,"body":"murmur hiding your face in his"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2876.01,"endTime":2879.52,"body":"bed. Breathing in the trace of"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2879.52,"endTime":2883.78,"body":"his skin and his sweat from the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2879.52,"endTime":2883.78,"body":"fabric. Large hand turns you to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2883.78,"endTime":2887.68,"body":"face him and you look into his"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2883.78,"endTime":2887.68,"body":"eyes. How are they so blue?"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2888.07,"endTime":2894.55,"body":"Deep? Shining? crystallin you've"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2888.07,"endTime":2894.55,"body":"never seen eyes like them. Boy,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2894.55,"endTime":2897.19,"body":"you need to tell me the truth."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2894.55,"endTime":2897.19,"body":"If it hurts, then you need to"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2897.19,"endTime":2901.42,"body":"tell me if I'm using you too"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2897.19,"endTime":2901.42,"body":"hard. He trails off in thought."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2901.84,"endTime":2905.38,"body":"His thick eyebrows knit"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2901.84,"endTime":2905.38,"body":"together. His gray mustache"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2905.38,"endTime":2909.73,"body":"curls into a frown. You've never"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2905.38,"endTime":2909.73,"body":"seen his eyes like this. They're"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2910.27,"endTime":2916.48,"body":"they're sad. Why is he sad? You"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2910.27,"endTime":2916.48,"body":"reach up before you realize what"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2916.48,"endTime":2920.29,"body":"you're doing. You reach up for"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2916.48,"endTime":2920.29,"body":"his your palm touches his chest"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2920.29,"endTime":2924.16,"body":"lightly, or really the leather"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2920.29,"endTime":2924.16,"body":"harness across his barrel chest"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2924.73,"endTime":2928.51,"body":"of forest have thick gray hair"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2924.73,"endTime":2928.51,"body":"curls up and embraces the rings"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2928.51,"endTime":2932.17,"body":"and joints of the piece. His"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2928.51,"endTime":2932.17,"body":"sweat and calm has matted the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2932.17,"endTime":2936.13,"body":"hair in several places, making"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2932.17,"endTime":2936.13,"body":"tempting places for your tongue"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2936.13,"endTime":2940.66,"body":"to seek out. I'm so sorry, sir."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2936.13,"endTime":2940.66,"body":"I didn't mean to disappoint you."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2941.74,"endTime":2944.8,"body":"I don't want to hurt you. And"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2941.74,"endTime":2944.8,"body":"you not to be able to tell me"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2944.8,"endTime":2949.06,"body":"the truth. I don't want to hurt"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2944.8,"endTime":2949.06,"body":"you and end up losing you boy,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2949.33,"endTime":2954.07,"body":"he Huff's looking away from you."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2949.33,"endTime":2954.07,"body":"His words vibrate gently in his"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2954.07,"endTime":2958.03,"body":"chest under your palm punctuated"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2954.07,"endTime":2958.03,"body":"with the regular drum of his"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2958.03,"endTime":2964.12,"body":"strong heartbeat. I'm here sir."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2958.03,"endTime":2964.12,"body":"If you'll have me sir. Your"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2964.12,"endTime":2967.84,"body":"words take you both by surprise."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2964.12,"endTime":2967.84,"body":"He looks at you, curiously,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2968.32,"endTime":2972.16,"body":"really looks at you. Like no one"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2968.32,"endTime":2972.16,"body":"has ever looked at you before."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2972.55,"endTime":2978.34,"body":"sees you sees all of you, your"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2972.55,"endTime":2978.34,"body":"body and your mind marked by him"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2978.67,"endTime":2982.99,"body":"in many different ways. They"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2978.67,"endTime":2982.99,"body":"ache and throb slowly in the"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2982.99,"endTime":2987.64,"body":"half light of his bedroom. He"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2982.99,"endTime":2987.64,"body":"picks you up like you weigh less"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2987.64,"endTime":2991.15,"body":"than cloud. He lay his back in"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2987.64,"endTime":2991.15,"body":"his bed with you against his"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2991.15,"endTime":2995.44,"body":"chest. The smell of his leather"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2991.15,"endTime":2995.44,"body":"in Smoke is closer now hotter."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2995.92,"endTime":2999.97,"body":"Like standing closer to the sun,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":2995.92,"endTime":2999.97,"body":"your nose instinctively by"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":3000.0,"endTime":3004.41,"body":"rather than towards his left"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":3000.0,"endTime":3004.41,"body":"pit, and you breathe deep, sir,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":3004.77,"endTime":3011.52,"body":"boy do you think can I stay with"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":3004.77,"endTime":3011.52,"body":"you tonight sir? His arms and"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":3011.52,"endTime":3015.57,"body":"circle around you pressing your"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":3011.52,"endTime":3015.57,"body":"smaller body close against his"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":3015.57,"endTime":3025.2,"body":"solid frame. You're not going"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":3015.57,"endTime":3025.2,"body":"anywhere. Good night kiddo. And"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":3025.2,"endTime":3027.93,"body":"that's it for this episode."},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":3025.2,"endTime":3027.93,"body":"Thank you so much for joining me"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":3027.96,"endTime":3031.77,"body":"please consider subscribing or"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":3027.96,"endTime":3031.77,"body":"you can send feedback to edge at"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":3031.77,"endTime":3035.04,"body":"full Cowell dot show. As always,"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":3031.77,"endTime":3035.04,"body":"may your leather journey be"},{"speaker":"Edge ","startTime":3035.04,"endTime":3035.52,"body":"blessed"}]}