Welcome to Full Cow, a podcast about leather and kink where your host, Edge (he/him), shares his 30+ years of experience in the community.
Fisting, this time. As always I share my experience with this kink. Then we have an exciting deep dive into the practice with fisting superstar HungerFF. Ask Edge rounds out this episode.
Here are some useful links from the episode:
Ask Edge! Go to https://www.speakpipe.com/LTHREDGE to leave ask a question or leave feedback. Find Edge's other content on Instagram and Twitter. Also visit his archive of educational videos, Tchick-Tchick.
Welcome to Full Cow, a podcast about leather and kink where your host, Edge (he/him), shares his 30+ years of experience in the community.
Fisting, this time. As always I share my experience with this kink. Then we have an exciting deep dive into the practice with fisting superstar HungerFF. Ask Edge rounds out this episode.
Here are some useful links from the episode:
Ask Edge! Go to https://www.speakpipe.com/LTHREDGE to leave ask a question or leave feedback. Find Edge's other content on Instagram and Twitter. Also visit his archive of educational videos, Tchick-Tchick.
Let's talk about fisting. This podcast contains material intended for a mature audience. For proceeding, please check your local laws and confirm that you are an adult. Welcome to Full Cow, a podcast about leather, kink and BDSM. My name is Edge, my pronouns are he, him, and I am your host. Fisting is our topic this time and, as usual, I begin by sharing my own journey in relation to this kink. Then, instead of providing you the education myself, I have an extensive educational interview with fisting superstar. I think we can call him HungerFF. We'll finish off with a couple of questions from the Ask Edge segment. All in all, I think it's a pretty fantastic episode and I hope you like it. So let's get started.
Speaker 1:Although I have never identified primarily as a fister, and although I have only very recently started flagging red left, the truth is that fisting has been a pretty continuous thread through my kink journey. In fact, it was there at the very beginning. When I was a very, very young proto leather man, I would go to a bar called Jewels in New Orleans, which was sort of the leather bar and sort of very seedy in a beautiful way, and there was a man there that I thought was so hot and he would always have a red bandana in his back pocket and I sensed it meant something. I knew that it meant something, but I didn't know what. Now we're talking about very early 90s.
Speaker 1:This is well before the advent of the internet. There was no repository of knowledge. I could just go with a few clicks access. That was not possible and he refused to tell me what it meant. He would not tell me as many times as I asked, so I had to do some creative research and I believe what happened is that I found a gay rag and in the back there was an ad for red hanky social or something like that, and I made the connection in my head and probably sent a letter emailed.
Speaker 1:No, there was no email sent a letter for information and I think that's where I first made the connection between red hankies and fisting. So that was even before I really dove into kink. Now, if you've listened to the first episode of this podcast, you already know about my gay leather parents, mark and Wally, who sort of adopted me from the very moment I started in leather and part of what that meant you know. They would have these sex parties orgies, if you will in their playroom, and so part of what that involved was me learning to fist from sort of day one. There was one of the guys who regularly attended was a lawyer and I want to say his name was Jim. Again, you know we're talking 30 years ago. My memory is not always the best, but as I recall it was Jim and Jim liked to get fisted. So I have memories of Wally guiding my hand into Jim's ass, and my memories of fisting from that age are that first, human bodies are really warm, like when you have your hand inside a body. It is 98.6 degrees in there. And then human hand human bodies are also kind of messy right my hand would come out with clumps of stuff on it which I don't really want to identify. So fisting was really one of the first things I learned as a kingster, but it was never a huge thing for me.
Speaker 1:You know, my butt is not wired for pleasure in any way and I'm not really super attracted to people's butts. I'm a face guy. You got a handsome face, you got some facial hair, you got beautiful eyes, you got a mohawk. I'm all about you. Your butt, yeah, okay. Well, that's nice. You have a butt. I'm glad it's there. So I've never had an erotic connection to my butt or to the butts of other men. However I'm we, I'm a we thing. You know people don't always realize because it's hard to tell on the scale of photos, but I'm five foot seven and 175 pounds. So I'm compact, I'm, you know, but it means that proportionally I have pretty small hands and they're also collapsed fairly easily. So I've got the tools that make me popular with men who like fists in their butts, and so off and on throughout my journey I have fisted men and I am nothing at all of an expert, but I am a very willing team player.
Speaker 1:In fact, a lot of times when I think about kink or talk about kink, I talk about it as a team sport and that understanding for me really originated from my experience with fisting, that we are there together to give your butt all the pleasure we can give it and all I have to do is cooperate with you and that means listening to you and listening to your body and kind of setting my own agenda aside and being present for you and that's how I fist and that's been fairly successful for me, I will say, at least from the feedback I've gotten. And so there have been certain points throughout my life where I've been like, yeah, I'll put my tiny collapsible fist up your butt, let's do that. More recently, I have developed, I would say, more of an interest in fisting, and this has been settling into my world for probably about a year now. Increasingly, I am attracting fisting bottoms in my orbit Rubber boys as well, but that's another podcast but I've been attracting people who'd like to get fisted into my orbit for a little while now and what I've come to value about fisting them is the incredible intimacy of fisting. Actually, there are a lot of things I value.
Speaker 1:So, first of all, as someone who's not big into sex, I am all about a scene where I don't feel any pressure to perform sexually, where the center of the scene is not a penis, mine or theirs, where sex is kind of on the side, if they're at all. So I love that. I love that even though I'm the fister, I don't feel like I'm really in control or quote unquote topping in the scene. Again, it's that team sense of let's work on this together. And I love how people who get fisted are just really laid back. My experience because there will be times where it's just like, yeah, my butt's not going to cooperate, let's just cut all. So everything about the scene first of all feels very low pressure to me, first of all. Second of all, the only way I really know how to fist is to be completely and utterly present to that person's whole, and that means I take my awareness and I kind of mentally vision it going down my arm until my awareness is in my fingers and in my hand, and oftentimes I will close my eyes because I'm focused so intently on my hand and where it is and what their butt is doing and what their butt is telling me. So it's a. It's a scene where I'm not running off in my head and it's a scene where I don't have to plan what the next step is because I'm not in charge. In that way, it is a scene that allows me, in fact demands that I be completely in that moment, completely present to and for that person and then getting inside of them and then seeing the pleasure these men experience that I am providing for them.
Speaker 1:Fisting has become a really super, duper, duper intimate activity for me. The flip side of that is, since it's not like just my primary fetish, I'm not running around fisting any man I can find, it's not like I'm hungry for a hole for my hand on a Saturday night, you know it's. There are men who enter into my life who I am willing to craft that intimacy with them that I believe, that the kind of bond which isn't, you know, it's not as deep as some of the other bonds I do in some other scenes, it's not permanent, but it's special and it is centered on pleasure and it's centered on presence. And some men will get that from me, some men I want to have that intimacy with them, I want to have that experience with them, and those are the men. I will stick my hand up.
Speaker 1:I expect that my experience with fisting will grow. I'm at an interesting point in my life where some of my fetishes are taking a pivot and I believe fisting is one of those. Now, I don't think it will ever be something where I'm looking for someone on a weekend to just get off and shove my hand up. It's never going to be that. It's not like I'm so obsessed with fisting itself that I really jack off thinking about fisting someone, but I'm at a place in my life where I'm evaluating the particular flavor of intimacy that fisting provides and, given the men who are moving into my world, I expect that to grow and I welcome it and we'll let you know. You know, I'll let you know how that journey goes and I am so incredibly pleased to have with us here on Full Cow HungerFF. Hungerff. Welcome to Full Cow, hi thank you for having me.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, and we get started by having you tell us how you identify in the community and what pronouns you like to use.
Speaker 3:So everybody knows me as HungerFF, but I'm also really open about my real name too. So my real name is Ryan. It's a lot of people call me Hunger as if, like, ff is the last name and so there's been like so hunger, and I'm like no, it's HungerFF, it's like Cher, it's like it's fun word, so yeah, but I prefer to just go by Ryan because it's just more personal and it's easier. And then he, him, his, my pronouns are my pronouns.
Speaker 1:Wonderful. So, briefly can you tell us how you got started in fisting, which I'm sure is a much longer story than we have time for in this podcast, but give us a brief synopsis of how this became such a thing for you. Is it do?
Speaker 3:you want to know about how I got into fisting by itself, or how HungerFF came to be, or is it just that's how I got into?
Speaker 1:fisting. Can I get both answers briefly?
Speaker 3:So when I was a teenager and I was first kind of getting onto the internet and stuff, I discovered fisting on accident. It was a Matthew Parris video. I don't remember where I stumbled across it, but it was no, no, no, it was fistingcentralcom, which was kind of funny because I ended up on that website one day. No-transcript, but I saw it and it was just like a switch flipped in my brain and I was like, oh my God, this is the hottest thing I'd ever seen. I was like 14 or 15. And so I was absolutely enthralled with it. And then as soon as I got on Manhunt when I was 18, I got. I started checking the box for fisting and looking for other fisters in the area and I got.
Speaker 3:I used to grow, I grew up in Detroit and so I there was a daddy there that had a dungeon basement and I went over there and I had wanted him to fist me and I got fisted on the first try. What I was first try? I was 18 years old and I was just so wanted it, so bad, and I was just. I have always kind of thought that I was anatomically or genetically like kind of predisposed to to be okay to take fists. I have really long torso, really wide hips and so like Child bearing hips, child bearing hips, exactly.
Speaker 3:So I feel like it's just sort of like it just lets me be more agreeable to taking fists.
Speaker 3:And then, as far as hunger FF kind of came about, the first guy that I met on Manhunt his screen name was hunger and so like I was always thought that was a really great name.
Speaker 3:And then I used to do porn under name RJ Danvers for Raging Stallion from 2006 to 2009. I retired and then came back under a pseudonym, hunger FF, and was just posting amateur videos not showing my face. And then I posted one video that went viral of me getting fisted on the back of a pickup truck and that just exploded. And so like when that video went up that I decided to start showing my face and and then I decided to turn it into my full time job, like it was. Like it was just grew so exponentially fast that I was able to kind of like stop doing what I was doing at the time, which was selling insurance, which was so boring, so boring, and so I ended up just kind of immersing myself in hunger FF and HFF media and making videos and performances and stuff like that, and so it just kind of grew exponentially from there.
Speaker 1:And here you are, and here.
Speaker 3:I am all these years later, so like hunger FF 2017. So awesome.
Speaker 1:So you're going to be providing us a lot of the educational content for this episode. So if someone wants to get into fisting, what are some important safety things they should know?
Speaker 3:OK, so as far as safety is concerned, the biggest thing that I would say is you need to, like, before you introduce Kems into your, into your play, like, you need to know what your body is capable of doing Sober. And so, like, fisting is an inherently dangerous activity because you're going against millennia of evolution that say that that's a one way street. And so, like, you're retraining your body to accept something inside of your body that's not usually supposed to be there, and so it's like there's a lot of like things that are just like saying in your body like don't do it, don't do it, don't do it. There's mental blocks, there's physical barriers, sub muscles that you can't control voluntarily, that are preventing things from going up there. So, to be sober and experimenting with fisting or butt play in general is probably the biggest safety suggestion I can give to people. And then, like, if you, you know, and I, you know, I am sober, but I know a lot of people that fists are not, and so, like, I've just always said that like, learn what you're capable of doing and taking when you're sober before you introduce Kems into your life. So, and then the type of lube that you use a lot of guys that I run into still will try to fist me with like standard silicone Swiss Navy, like wet lube, whatever, and there's lube that are specifically designed for fisting. I'm a big ex lube fan. Lube is a synthetic lube. That's a powder based lubricant that you mix with water and then it just turns into like you can adjust the viscosity of it based on how much water you add. There's no such thing as too much lube. Using a ton of lube is extremely important.
Speaker 3:Making sure that your tops have their nails filed appropriately. I actually I'll do the nails for my tops a lot of time. I bring them, I bring out a file that I'm like I don't know let me take care of them for you. It's kind of like part of forplay a little bit and so. And then just communication, open and honest communication.
Speaker 3:Like I think that one thing that guys get really hung up on is cleaning out and like like getting ready and prepared and diet and stuff like that and so like it's important to get cleaned out for fisting, whatever, but also to not get so hung up on it that you overdo it and then, like you hurt your butthole in the process like you know, straining, you know, over cleaning or getting so much water in your ass that you can't like you know, you just retain water, stuff like that and just being aware that that is that is what it's designed for. And so if it happens it happens. You just kind of like clean out and keep going. So it's like a lot of guys get really hung up on making sure that they're super clean. Am I clean? Am I clean? Am I clean? It's like I'll tell you when you're not. You know it's the next thing.
Speaker 3:So yeah, as far as safety goes, it's just getting prepared as far as cleaning out, using the appropriate lube and nails filed and doing it's over. So my big points. I would say Excellent.
Speaker 1:Now, not every bottom is perhaps as genetically predisposed as you were, so if someone as a bottom really wants to explore fisting, what's a good way to get started?
Speaker 3:Okay, so this is really important. This is a really important topic, I think, because a lot of guys reach out to a lot of guys that are curious about fisting, reach out to tops or guys that are into fisting and say I want you to train me, I want you to train me to take a fist, and so the thing is with fisting, it's very much like the exploratory part of it in the beginning is something that I really feel strongly needs to be done, kind of alone, like with toys and stuff like that, graduating to different sized toys.
Speaker 1:That's his beautiful dog. People don't like it.
Speaker 3:My dog is just kind of pacing around. She had a stroke recently so she's just kind of weird. Oh no, yeah, so she's just sort of walks in circles and stuff, but anyways. So exploring your own body and getting comfortable with the sensations that are involved with fisting is really important, because when you do it with someone else, like there's a lot of like stop and go, stop and go, stop and go. So when you're doing it alone, you're learning your body or you have to retrain your body to say this is pleasurable to have something go this far inside my ass or this big inside my ass, and so a lot of that needs to be done kind of alone and then your own terms and with your own you know, in your own space, comfortable.
Speaker 3:You know, toys the toys that people should be using are generally like I would suggest Hanky's toys or Square peg Two brands they're made of.
Speaker 3:They're not medical grade silicone A lot of people have a misconception about that but what there are is they're platinum cured silicones and that's going to not affect your body, it's not going to like your body's not going to reject it in any way, because a lot of times you use toys that are made of materials that are toxic to your body. Oh yeah, a lot of those old dildos that were made, like, you know, early 2000s and stuff like that that are still sitting in packages. Those things are dangerous because they're made of a material that we're actually allergic to, and so you have an allergic reaction to it. When it goes inside your body and your butthole lights on fire, it's terrible feeling. So the new toys are generally made of platinum silicone and that's really comfortable, and so getting to know your own body and your limits and your you know what you're capable of handling on your own terms, then taking that train butthole with you into a session makes it a lot more enjoyable for both people, I think.
Speaker 1:What a great answer. What about tops, who maybe want to learn how to fist someone? What's a good way for someone to learn how to do it? So?
Speaker 3:I would suggest. So there's a certain kind of intuition that tops will eventually end up learning and so like as they fist with more partners and stuff like that. So are we talking like total tops, like guys that are just like I don't know, answering how you like yeah, I like okay. So like I think that the best tops are fisting bottoms. You guys that know what it feels like to get fisted are generally kind of more in tune with the bottom than with their fisting. But I know a lot of total tops that are just really fantastic. And so it's about reading your bottoms body language, verbal, nonverbal communication.
Speaker 3:Bottoms are pulling away. Don't chase them with your hand in their ass. Like pull it out, like you know and cause. That's one thing that I found a lot of guys will. When I'm kind of recoiling off of them a little bit, if it's too much, they'll kind of like follow me with their hand in my hand. I'm like no bitch, I'm running away from you. Like don't follow me If it's clearly that I'm trying to get off your hand. Like time to take it out.
Speaker 3:But yeah, just being really conscious and present, not being it's really. It's so important that the tops are not on drugs, because there's a level of connection that you need to maintain and a level of alertness and awareness that you're not gonna be poking a hole through something you know and just really reading your bottom and know. One thing that I really love when tops ask me is and I do this every time I fist somebody I said what do I need to know about your bubble, what do I need to know, like what tell me about your hole? What do you like, what do you not like? And then fisting isn't a one size fits all type of activity. It's kind of varies by person. So I would say that asking your bottom what kind of fisting they like, what style they like, if they're into width, if they're into depth, if they're into punching, if they're into kind of intimate, slow fisting, and just adapting your style based on what they like.
Speaker 1:That's actually in part a reassuring answer for me, because that notion of being really present Cause I wouldn't call myself a fisting top, but I do have small hands, as you've seen oh, I'm good, I did, oh yeah, and so I fisted and I often feel like I just have to be utterly present. I often have my eyes closed so I can like feel my hand at the intersection and then just listen to them, and that's actually then I'm not fucking up. Are you telling me I'm not fucking up? You're not fucking up.
Speaker 3:Yay, yeah, no, that's perfect. And so, and I do the same thing when I top, I close my eyes all the time and so like cause it's me, it's like I visualize when I'm topping, like what I'm doing inside their body and like kind of like I visualize like the pathway and stuff like that, and everybody's kind of got their own. I've always said that fisting tops, every hand is like a key and every butt hole is like a lock and every every goes into a lock a little bit different.
Speaker 3:You know, no two keys are the same, no two blocks are the same, and so it's like you've got to kind of adjust. Sometimes you go in with your hand, you know, with your hand facing with the palm down. Sometimes you've got to go in with your palm facing up. Sometimes they you know, it's just everybody's bone structures a little bit different. The other is a little different. So it's like you just kind of have to feel what feels most comfortable for the bottom.
Speaker 1:And I do find like I literally feel like I put all of my awareness in my hand and butt holes are very communicative, like I'm really able. There have been that moments where they just sort of sigh and open up and it's like, oh, okay, now I can go forward, right. So yeah, it's so intimate. I think fisting, for me, the pleasure of it is that connection that you talked about and, like you, I'm sober and I think if you're not sober you can't have the connection because you're not present.
Speaker 3:Sure, yeah, and I agree with that. And I've had many experiences, back when I wasn't sober, where I was fisting with guys that were on G or on ketamine or meth or whatever and like. I've actually had an experience one time where a guy G'd out while he was fisting me and I had to slither like a snake off of his arm and I'm just like, oh God, here I go, like I hope he's not gonna like you know, and so kind of like scooting off of the arm and being like God, this was you know, either they're snoring when they're fisting me and I turn around and I'm like what the fuck, bro? So that's happened to me a few times and so I'm really happy those days are behind me.
Speaker 1:Indeed, we are all happy. Those days are behind. All of us, yes, exactly those of us who are sober. You talked already a little bit about this sort of fear of not being clean enough and this obsession with cleaning. Do you have a good basic recommended prep regime?
Speaker 3:So yeah, so everybody's different, everybody's different, everybody's different, and so, like, I know a lot of guys have like really everybody has their own kind of method to cleaning out and so like. For me, what works for me, is I eat, generally speaking, all day, every day, rather than I'm getting fisted or not and so like, but I take a lot of fiber at night. I take metamucil at night, which is like that's like the big trick, I think Drinking a lot of water, taking metamucil, and then typically what happens is, as I eat my last meal, drink a bunch of metamucil, go to bed and then I wake up in the morning and I have a cup of coffee and I have a breakfast, and then everything I ate the day before generally has to come out of me at that point and then I can start my clean out.
Speaker 3:And my clean outs are generally pretty quick because with the fiber and the water and everything it just makes everything kind of come out easier and so but there are days where I struggle and it's my clean outs are either gonna take me 15 minutes or gonna take me two hours.
Speaker 3:And so there's a but generally speaking, I will only play with guys that like if somebody tells me, if somebody some top tells me, I only fist clean holes, or I only fist with guys that are spotless, I expect you to be spotless I will pass up on that person who happens.
Speaker 3:Who happens and I'm not gonna be sitting in my head the whole time going, oh God, I hope I'm okay, and never really truly being present in the moment, and so like I tend to shy away from guys that are like that, that are very militant about your clean outs, and so like, if they're understanding or whatever, great, that's cool. I have a regular fist buddy here. You know him, raunchy Wolf one, and so he's I'm always like, just proceed with caution. And he always goes. I've never, in the years that I've been fisting, I've never even seen a chocolate chip inside of you.
Speaker 3:So like he's like cut up with the contents, about going you know, whatever. So what happens sometimes? And so like I think that one thing that guys just need to write remember is that it's a human, your body is an organism, it's not a machine, and so it's like you can do so much, but then it just sort of, you know, you just kind of relax and if you're constantly worried about being clean, you're never truly present in the moment and enjoying it.
Speaker 1:I feel like I will say, one of the things I love about fisting is I feel like for me as a top, it is a no pressure scene and I always feel like there are going to be times where people are just gonna say my butt's not cooperating, it's not going to happen today, and then we're just going to cuddle right, like I just feel like I don't have expectations, that I'm going to get in or I'm going to get deep, and so whatever happens happens, it's a team sport or working together, and so, yeah, I don't have.
Speaker 3:I think these, if you bring these expectations in, it's crushing everyone from the moment you start and that's the best thing about fisting too is that everybody's arms are always hard, and so there's no like oh, am I going to get a hard on Is.
Speaker 1:I am performance anxiety.
Speaker 3:If you have, like, the self confidence and self assuredness as a top, you don't got to worry about your dick getting hard. It's like it's so great, it's like you know it's that's what. Because my dick doesn't cooperate all the time when I'm trying to fuck and so like that's what I love about fisting is I can go in. I know I'm a good fisting top, so I go into these situations kind of like very confident because I'm not having to worry about is my dick going to cooperate? Am I going to get hard? Am I going to stay hard to fuck them, whatever it's like?
Speaker 1:So yeah, it's a really low pressure sport, and that makes all this much more pleasure, because you're not like having all this anxiety to deal with as well.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, and I do really consider fisting like a sport.
Speaker 1:I do think of it as a team sport, like I'm there to cooperate with my teammate to create pleasure and that's why I'm so attentive and present and listening to that feedback. It is definitely a team sport.
Speaker 3:Yeah, definitely, where everybody wins. Everybody does win, and I'm very excited to play this sport with you one day.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, for people listening, that's going to happen at some point. So you already said your recommended loop, which was X loop. I know there are other powdered loops. Do you find them just as good? Is there a particular reason why you like X loop? So I?
Speaker 3:just recently became an X loop convert. So like I have always been a J loop jump and like I've always just I've used J loop since I started and I know how to make it perfectly in a matter of seconds and so. But the thing with J loop is that it's really difficult to get off. You've got it and it's not a synthetic loop, it's a natural sugar based loop, and so you can only leave it sitting out for as long as you leave a cake sitting out. So like J loop will actually grow bacteria and rot and get you sick if you don't use it fast enough. And so when you use expired J loop, you get really bad diarrhea and like you get sick, something like that. So it's not a cute thing. So and J loop is just like you know, it's kind of temperamental.
Speaker 3:So X loop is a synthetic version of J loop that doesn't have any of the sugar base kind of like sugar base that J loop does. So it doesn't rot, it doesn't go bad, let it sit out forever and it's still gonna be good, and so and they have a really solid method of mixing it. Like they give you a cap when the bottle of that move. That three caps makes a perfect mixture of J loop or of X loop, and so I just had the boys there's a podcast called Such Fun, that's a fisting podcast and they were just in town visiting me the host of the show and they brought me some X loop samples and I finally was like, fine, I'll try X loop, cause I got so tired of like J loop gets gummy, it gets everywhere.
Speaker 3:You gotta use salt to remove it, oh my God. And so, yeah, so it's like, and it just gets gummy and sticky and tacky. So X loop, I found, doesn't have that same kind of tackiness issue. It doesn't get kind of tacky like J loop does and it comes off with just water. You just rinse it off and it comes right off.
Speaker 1:I also understand that J loops really bad for diabetics because of its sugar base.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's not good. And then there's also like a warning on the label that says, like it gets into your perionatal cavity, then it can be lethal, and so like if you have like a perforation or some kind of puncture or something that gets into your system, it can be dangerous and lethal. So it's like X loop I don't think has that kind of warning on the late morning, like that. So there's downsides to J loop. Like I said, I've been using J loop for the last 17 years and never had a problem with it. It's just that I found X loop to be a better alternative.
Speaker 1:I've also heard that every fisting bottom has, like their own personal secret formula for the lube they like. Do you find that to be true? Cause I know some are like three drops of clove oil and one scoop of Crisco.
Speaker 3:I used to use my J loop or my loop. Comption used to be J loop mineral oil, clove oil, preparation H and lidocaine All mixed into a blender and then I would have this like really amazing lube and like the mineral oil gave it a kind of cool consistency that preparation H would keep her swelling down and so like, yeah, there's lots of different tricks and stuff to use, but I've since gotten lazy and I'm just comfortable with the bottle of K or max loop.
Speaker 1:And is there some website with lube recipes for people who might want to experiment? I mean, how do people come up with this?
Speaker 3:Well, I think it's just kind of trial and error, like a lot of guys just have their own kind of preferences for what they like to add to it. Clove oil is a little bit of an aesthetic, lidocaine is also an aesthetic, and then mineral oil I used to add just for consistency purposes. And Crisco is kind of the old school standard. I think people have moved away from Crisco in the last 10 years and Crisco is good. But what I don't like about Crisco is that whenever you go into somebody's house that they use Crisco as their main lube, you can kind of tell right when you walk in their house because it's kind of baked into like their towels and no matter how much washing you do, it's like once it's in the sheets and once it's in the towels that smells not going away and so it's kind of gross Like. So like I just I'm not a big Crisco fan my whole locks up when I use Crisco too, like we'll say.
Speaker 1:I had an ex who used to make little Crisco balls and freeze them. Those, are delicious Right because very soothing, and then you're lubricating all up in there. So I mean it has some advantages. I'm assuming you can't freeze ex lube the same way.
Speaker 3:Well you can they actually make silicone, little spherical silicone like ice cube makers? And I have a friend of mine in Michigan that does frozen J Lube balls. So he makes these little balls of J Lube that you can just roll in like a golf ball inside some of that and you can actually feel it as the bottom. You can feel it kind of going through your skin. It's really cool, but it lubricates you all the way through, which is great because a lot of I'm at a point now where I can just bend over and pull my whole apartment. You can jump it all the way to my throat so, but a lot of guys don't have that. So the little J-Loop balls, the frozen loop balls, are a good kind of way to get loop deeper inside your hole.
Speaker 1:And besides loop, are there other supplies people might want to have handy when they're doing the scene?
Speaker 3:Yeah, absolutely so. The kind of standard supplies that you want to have on hand. Obviously nail files for emergencies or whatever, for you know crap. But then puppy pads, like the Wee Wee Pads that dogs use. My friend actually owns a company called Play Pads, which are basically extra large black puppy pads that are specifically made for fisting, and so that company is really cool. They're great.
Speaker 3:But you can get them on Amazon, like the puppy pads. I buy the black charcoal ones. They get like 100 packs for like 20 bucks and so and they're, they're so easy to throw away. And then paper towels, and then kind of one thing that my friends and I have done recently. I have a friend of mine here that bought us all of my circle of fisting friends, bought us all towel warmers, and so we warm up wet towels with like eucalyptus oil or whatever. And then when you're done fisting, when you're taking a break, just putting a hot towel on your bottom's butt and it feels so good, it's like a little kind of like post aftercare like, and it's really calming and soothing and so like just that's kind of going overboard. But paper towels, puppy pads and nail files are a great kind of like start. And then if you want to go overboard and be extra, then towel warmers great too.
Speaker 1:Let's talk about aftercare. You I mean not everyone's going to have a towel warmer, but what other? Sorts of aftercare do you think is important, or what kind of aftercare do you like?
Speaker 3:So I I'm a big fan of. I usually take an ibuprofen either before or after play to kind of keep the inflammation down. And then what you can do is after fisting, if you ever had a particularly rough session, you can put some ice cubes up your butt and that'll kind of like get some of the swelling to come down. It'll stop bleeding. If there's any bleeding happening, Ice cubes in your hole definitely help. And then just kind of like being kind to yourself and like I used to use preparation H after every fisting session, just to kind of like calm my buckle down a little bit. And yeah, so just like shower and like you want to get the lube off you as fast as possible, Because if you leave lube sitting on your I have skin reactions to lube sometimes. Okay, yeah, I like it on me.
Speaker 3:So I would say just kind of like. And then, like me and my friends always after we fist, like we always end up just like going out to eat together or like you know, it's like we have, like we order food or we chill or whatever, and it's just kind of like fun, Like it's like kind of like it's very brotherhood, like camaraderie, like like just like kind of it was like a brotherhood of like fister basically, and I found that to be pretty common around the country. But, like a lot of guys will have, like there's little fisting clubs in a lot of major cities and they all kind of do the same type of things.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you mentioned a little bit. Ice cubes will stop leading. How do you know as a bottom, how do you know if something went wrong and what do you do about it?
Speaker 3:So if you have a fear that something's gone wrong, it's better to be proactive and go to the hospital than waiting and discovering later because if God forbid, you got a perforation, you're going to feel some cramping. Well, at times there's no blood, and so. But if you feel cramping or if you hear a noise that sounds like bubble wrap popping coming from your insides, that's that's a problem and so like. And then you need to go to the hospital as soon as possible because you can get easily septicemia from that type of an accident. And so one thing that I would say there's two methods to repairing a colon tear or something like that. There's a lot of doctors that default to having staples put in and stuff like that if there's an accident. And so, like one thing that I've been grateful and lucky that I've never had an accident, but if I do, I know that I'm going to ask to be hand sewn back together Because there's some. There's a way, there's two methods.
Speaker 3:there's either hand sewing with needle and thread, basically or staples and the staples are in you forever, the hand sewing actually like those. Those you feel normal again afterwards, right and so that. But is how do you know something goes wrong? I think that there's just like an inherent kind of like uh, oh, like something's not right in my body and there's like an subconscious kind of like red flags that goes off in your head. And I've had in safe is where I've thought something went wrong and you know I'm not going to be really sure and a subconscious kind of like red flag that goes off in your head. And I've had in see this where I've thought something went wrong. And you know I didn't went to the doctor. Nothing was really nothing was wrong.
Speaker 3:I had the most. The most damage I've ever had done to me was like a small tear that caused a lot of bleeding. I know that whenever I bleed, because I don't bleed often, and when I saw blood I was like, oh God, something's wrong. I went to the doctor and I had a little GI bleed. That was not like serious, but it was not. I would want to go through it again, but just being proactive about your health, because if you've got any kind of like and I always tell guys to. Whenever I'm fisting them, if I feel something that doesn't feel normal, I'll pull them aside afterwards and be like hey, like, maybe it's you might need to go get something checked out.
Speaker 3:I felt right a little abnormal and you know that's just kind of common courtesy. If I somebody felt something weird inside me, I'd want to know. So so yeah, it's just kind of a but again, just communication with each other and being upfront and honest with each other. So are there?
Speaker 1:any, any resources. People should know about major websites or things they should be checking out.
Speaker 3:So if you're on Facebook, there is a lot of really great. Primarily, there's a group called f squared, which is really great. It's run by a guy named Coulter, who's like a wealth of knowledge, and actually I wonder if I'm going to, while I have you here, I'm gonna Coulter, because I'll come back to this. Coulter runs the Fisting website that, basically, is like a. He does these articles about different types of just all any kind of thing you'd want to know about fisting, like Anatomy things, all the things that we've talked about. He's got a really great site. I just shot him a text so I can get the website name Great. So, um, yeah, he's really super knowledgeable and he does a lot of homework about like, he does a lot of research about like these things. It writes about them and it's always really interesting, and so he runs f squared, which is the Facebook group, and he posts a lot of articles there. They're really great. So, and then also, my website is also a wealth of knowledge.
Speaker 1:Let's let's talk about your website. What tell us about your website? Let's start there, so.
Speaker 3:I started hunger ffcom in 2020 after I was struggling a lot with censorship issues on Only fans and, and and the Cuban born hub. They would. I do a lot of. I have a prolapse with what we haven't we haven't talked about that yet but like, so that's. That's kind of what I'm known for is that, like my Insides basically turn inside out when I want them to and then I can retract them back in and it's kind of like a. It's a it's a desirable thing for a lot of fisters Just to have one or to see one or tops like to play with them, bottoms like to have them. A lot of guys that don't like them. But that's sort of what I'm known for and so like. But I found a lot of my content was being censored for being too extreme or a borderline gore porn, and so I decided to take the money that I had earned from those websites and invest in building my own platform. So I did that so I could have autonomy and not have to worry about playing by anybody else's rules. So I update the site three times a week and I am very much the way that I shoot videos.
Speaker 3:I really disagree with the way that porn kind of like makes Sex seem so perfect all the time, like a lot of like Falcon or naked sword or men calm. They make these scenes that are so cookie cutter, perfect, like the like things are not always perfect during sex and like just because your sex life doesn't look like a porno Doesn't mean that it's not valid and and and good and so like what I do is all my videos start with Me hopping in the sling and then it includes all the warm-up and it includes aftercare and it includes conversations in the beginning or in the middle of the sex like. I never cut out conversation. They feel like a lot of the things that we say are important during sex and so like and it validates these people who don't have this sex life that looks like a power-fisting session all the time, like and so like I want them to see that, like you know, there's a trajectory, a linear trajectory of beginning, middle and an end to sex, and so, like I always say at the end of my videos they always end with me saying I think I need a break, and so like they start with me hopping in the sling and they end with me saying I think I need a break and I don't cut out any of the middle stuff either.
Speaker 3:It just try to show a really authentic session. So it's very fly on the wall. I don't use cameraman, I don't use. I want people to feel like they're alone in the room with me and my partner, mm-hmm. So it's very authentic and very real and so it's like if you want to know what a real fisting session looks like, I would suggest going to my site and like checking it out and there's a lot, I don't.
Speaker 1:Don't you have some products as well? Now, like then you start yeah so I started.
Speaker 3:A couple years ago. I reached out to Hank East toys, which is the company that does like the premium silicone dildos, mm-hmm, and I asked them if they'd be interested in doing a dildo with me based on my prolapse, and it took a couple years to kind of go back and forth before we finally solidified the project, and so that just came out in May, and so I have, as I just launched my e-commerce section on the site, so we sell harnesses, dog tags and the prolapse dildo, and so it's comes in four sizes, you know from. The smallest one is yeah, I got where I put it, but I've got it comes in a small size. It's only like six inches big and then, like the real life size is a little much bigger, and so, yeah, it's kind of cool. It's really crazy to see people on Twitter posting videos of themselves fucking their ass with my prolapse, so it's pretty why so?
Speaker 1:so if I took this dildo I like, does it match? Is it like the key? Like, would it match your prolapse exactly if I shut?
Speaker 3:it inside of you. Yes, it's really. I've taken a picture of it side by side with the real one, like hanging up To it, and they're identical. They're identical and so, and I always said it fits me like a perfect plug. So, personally inside me, I'm like this is amazing, this is great. So, yeah, it's pretty cool, it's pretty. It's been a wild experience, the people using it, and it's on sale at the Eagle now, which is really exciting.
Speaker 1:Eagle. Little manners to be clear.
Speaker 3:Yes, yes, so they're, they're carrying it there.
Speaker 1:It's really are you planning more products?
Speaker 3:I am gonna be selling the that is. That is something that I think I'm gonna get into one day, selling more toys and stuff like that. I do only thing that I've got current plans on listing is, like all of the, I do a lot of cosplay videos. Mm-hmm. Oh, I have all my cosplay suits that I've worn in fisting videos that I'm gonna eventually fell to, and like props and stuff that I've used like pokeballs and like so many of my listeners are having nerdgasms.
Speaker 1:right now I have a captain Marvel suit.
Speaker 3:I have Pokemon poke by Ash Petram suits. I did a video where I dressed up as did you watch Wanda vision? Yeah, so I Wanted. His son, billy is like one of my favorite superheroes, and so I did a cosplay scene with Dressed up as Wiccan, when Billy, when he gets older, and then his boyfriend Hulkling fisted me. Who's my friend, logan Hawke? He's this big silicone roided out muscle beasts, and we painted him green and it was really cool. Yeah, it was cool. So I'm selling that suit too. So it's mostly just the cosplay suits and stuff like that, but then eventually, one day I'll get into more dildos and stuff too, or poppers, a video head cleaner or whatever you ever thought of making your own lube?
Speaker 1:like working with? I see you in a scientific laboratory with everyone in these white coats and vials.
Speaker 3:I think we found the perfect concoction Formula X, exactly. So, like the head cleaner is one thing I thought about, I do have a merchandise line called hunger wear, hmm, that I sell on thread list. That's just a bunch of t-shirts and stuff like that. So, yeah, I've kind of got my toes in my fingers in a lot of pots. As far as like their, prolapse in a lot of.
Speaker 3:My products in a lot of pots. Yes, so it's been kind of cool. It's like I. You told me five years ago that it would be doing what I'm. I would be doing what I'm doing now with. With the brand I would have been like totally Disinviscous leaf.
Speaker 1:It's just grown so much Do you ever get tired of being the brand. Yes yeah, okay, yeah, tell us about that, because I identify with that. Let me say that because I am, I am often identified with my brand in quotation marks and, and sometimes it can get a little exhausting. So what that? What is that like for you, how do you experience it and how do you deal with it?
Speaker 3:It's been. So. My whole brand is really about authenticity and community and so, like, I've spent a lot of time building up the fisting community and trying to grow it and expand it and make it more widely accessible to anybody that wants to be a part of it. But what I've found is, in doing that, I've sort of made myself.
Speaker 3:It's hard for me to be part of the community anymore because I Can't go anywhere without. I can't be Ryan James anywhere anymore. So, like I can't go to fist fest, I can't go to Rose Bowl, I can't go to these fisting events that everybody else gets to go to and enjoy, because Whether or not I'm paying being paid to be there, or if I'm paying to be there, I am hunger ff 24, seven of these people, and so it's like I'll be getting fisted and then they'll come up and be like, can you sign this for me? They'll come and try to talk to me and like, and I'm just like you know, I just want to be able to experience these events Like a patron, like I used to be able to do it, and I just think that that ship has sailed for me for now. Yeah, and so like, and there's an old school porn star that I'm a huge fan of and and friends with you know. Do you remember Corey J?
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 3:Corey J was like the one of the OG fisting Kings back in like the early 2000s, late 90s, and he told me that he ran into the same issue and that it's just gonna take a long time. Once I stopped doing hunger ff, it's gonna take like another 15 years for it to stop, sure. So so, um, and I'm okay with that, I'm okay with private one-on-one sessions. Now it's like that's more what my vibe is anyways, like I don't need to be part of these big public spectacles anymore. I like being in a room with someone alone and like having my sex life be a little bit more private when it's for me, like when I do films and stuff like that it's. You know, I love filming, I love editing, I love the creative process, I love all of that stuff. But what I do, I've been really working on trying to make sure that I have a healthy balance of sex for me and sex for other people.
Speaker 1:And are you? Are you into anything besides fisting? And then do you find people like don't want anything from you but fisting, um, I am kind of.
Speaker 3:I mean, I'm into almost everything really. Yeah, there's very little. The only thing that turns me off is non-consensual sex. That's the only thing that turns me off, whether that's guys that want to fuck animals or guys that are into, like, rape, supply rape scenes and something that that turns me off.
Speaker 3:But literally everything else is very game for me, and so like I, but I prefer fisting, so like, I prefer fisting, so like, and and I always joke around because sometimes I'll meet up with guys and they'll want to do, they'll just want to do everything butch fisting. And I'm like you know, it is hunger FF, it's not hunger PJ or hunger nipple play or hunger whatever, because that's what I like and so like, yeah, it's uh, it's funny like that. So, but I prefer fisting, and I used to have. I used to get so frustrated when I was using, because I Would run into these situations where I would hook up with guys that would just come over and they'd just be using me for drugs, basically, but it's like we would talk about fisting and then you come over and they wouldn't fist me and I would go frustrated. And so since getting sober I've been today is my 45th day in a row getting fisted- those keeping track.
Speaker 1:We're recording on October 21st, yeah, so it's my day.
Speaker 3:45 every Saturday is a multiple of seven. So, like or no, excuse me. Day 42, day 42 every Saturday is a multiple of seven, and so wait, is today, saturday or Sunday?
Speaker 1:today is Saturday.
Speaker 3:Yeah, today's 42 days so, and so I'm counting it like a day count so it's funny. So I love fisting yeah.
Speaker 1:Congratulations your 95th chip.
Speaker 3:I just really love it. I love fisting in general, like and I say that all the time when I'm getting fisted, like I'll just be getting fisting all things myself I love this so much. I'm like bleeding serotonin and dopamine for my eyes right now. I'm so happy and so it's like I just get. So I Love it so much. I love like this morning I was fisting my boyfriend and I was just like I'm just in awe of it all the time. It's never lost its luster for me.
Speaker 3:I've always, really it's always always been my thing ever since I was a kid. So like yeah, I'm really glad that I found it.
Speaker 1:I think we're all glad you found it too, and on that note we're gonna wrap this up. But Ryan slash hunger ff, it has been a sheer delight to have you on the show. I'm grateful, so grateful. Thank you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no problem, this has been amazing. I'm so, I'm lucky to be a part of it.
Speaker 1:So and finally, we have Ask Edge, the segment where I answer questions submitted by all of you. This segment relies on you, so please feel free to consider submitting a question. You can email it to ask at fullcowshow or, even better, leave me a voicemail at speakpipecom. Forward slash, leatheredge, lthredge. And our first question is actually a comment and it comes from Jim.
Speaker 4:Hello Edge. This is Jim. I just listened to your Master Slave episode. I can't thank you enough. That was so incredibly cathartic for me. I am in the same place.
Speaker 4:I think you are, Period I found a boy and he definitely brings the saddest out of me, and I am learning so much about what really is inside of me and the power that I can hold. Period, it's been an incredible journey, as you are Now exploring Master Slave Period Good for both of us. I wanted to let you know I thought that was one of the best episodes I think you've ever done and I've listened to every single one that you put out interludes and full episodes. I've also followed you on a number of social media and almost met you at IML the last time you were there, period. In any case, I just wanted to say thank you. I hope you're doing well, you take care of yourself and I look forward to the next episode. Thanks again.
Speaker 1:Wow, jim. Thank you so much for that comment. It is very meaningful to me. Metrically speaking, the podcast doesn't seem to do very well. That's just looking at numbers. I know how many followers I have on Instagram. I know how many likes a post is getting. It gives me a sense of how people are reacting to the content I'm putting out there and people leave comments. I'm able to get a direct engagement.
Speaker 1:If you look at the people following me on the podcast. First of all, it's really hard to consolidate those numbers because some people are getting the podcast from the website, fullcalshow. Some people go through Apple Podcasts, google Play they're all these different places where I have to go see how many listens or streams an episode got. It gets a little exhausting. Even then, when I put all the available data on the podcast together, it just doesn't look very impressive when I get messages like this and I've gotten several of these in person, through texts, through direct messages when I get messages that tell me, oh, that podcast episode really resonated for me, or oh, thank you for covering that topic on the podcast, or oh, I just love listening to your podcast, anything like that. It's really the only thing that keeps me doing this podcast because the rest of my social media is on no schedule.
Speaker 1:So if I don't feel like posting a video on Instagram, there's not going to be a video on Instagram, but the podcast comes out twice a month, every month, and I have to think of topics and produce content and edit and assemble and upload and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's a lot of work for something that, when I look at the available data, is not providing a lot of impact, which is the return I get. The return I get isn't just oh, look how many followers I have. The return I get is knowing that it's making some sort of difference for people. So, jim, thank you for your comment, because it's exactly the kind of thing I need. And our second question comes from Slaveboy.
Speaker 2:Greetings, sir Edge. My name is Slaveboy, known as Norwegian Slaveboy. My pronouns is he, him, it, and I would love if you could make a segment on vetting. The reason I ask is because some sirs talked about this on a Facebook video last week, claiming that subs has to ask a sir for permission to vet him. My personal view is that vetting is to be done anonymously to protect myself in case of unsafe serves or masters. What is old guard practice and what is your view on this?
Speaker 1:So the question is about vetting a potential dominant in this instance. As far as what Old Guard practice is, well, that's always a bit of a mystery, because what we know of the Old Guard is really quite fragmented. Now we do know that they were extremely closed and that anyone who was going to move into the circle of an Old Guard group, a family, a local cluster of players they would be thoroughly vetted by someone who would have to introduce them to the group. It was a very closed door type of society, if we want to think of it as a society. So who was doing the vetting had a lot to do with who wanted to bring who into the group. So I find a man really sexy. I want to train him to be my master. I'm gonna have to bring him into this Old Guard setting so that the masters in the group can really train him. There's actually a really brilliant essay on this in the collection Leather Folk if you're a reader. So yeah, the Old Guard was super duper, duper about extremely thorough vetting of a person, and that wasn't because this knowledge was sacred per se. In part it was because it was the 50s and 60s and being gay was illegal and you can imagine what being gay and kinky was like. You could lose your job, you could lose your family, you could lose your housing. So I think they were strongly motivated to make sure that anyone coming in could be very deeply and thoroughly trusted. So that's the first part.
Speaker 1:The second part is what is? How do I feel about vetting? Now, I did. I will let my listeners know. I did clarify this question with slave boy Norwegian slave boy about this video he saw on Facebook and he couldn't quite find it again. So he wanted to back off a little bit about the actual content of the video.
Speaker 1:But I think the question is that if some submissive approaches you and asks you about some dominant that you've played with, then what's the real, what's the best way to handle that? Do you get permission from the dominant before speaking about the dominant? Hmm, I would say, if you're asking how I approach this situation, that I think it's important for there to be a pretty open flow of information across players of all kink identities. That we should. I have no fears of anyone talking about their experience with me. I encourage it because I feel like I'm decent, right, like I don't, I don't cause a lot of harm? I hope not. I feel like it's okay for people to talk about me and part of what I value is the reputation I've crafted and the way I craft that is through my actions, so I don't have an issue with that. I do think it's worth thinking about the difference between vetting someone and gossiping about someone.
Speaker 1:I'm not sure that gossip is something I want to necessarily endorse. Also, I will say I find that when I'm interested in someone or getting to know someone, I don't ask my friends about them because I want to figure out my own sense of who this person is, independent of the impression they may have left with others. Because, you know, sometimes it has nothing to do with the person I'm interested in. Maybe they just had really bad dynamics with this friend of mine, or maybe that other friend of mine met him 10 years ago and he's changed since then. So I personally like to vet through my own set of filters which at this point after 30 years, are really advanced. I can filter out people who I probably shouldn't be around just by getting to know them. I think for submissives in particular, it is important for them to essentially get letters of recommendation before they meet a potential new dominant person.
Speaker 1:I think the key part for me that distinguishes this process of vetting from gossiping is I will never tell you my opinion of someone unless you ask me my opinion of someone. If I am unprompted talking about someone, I feel personally that I am risking moving into gossip and that is not something that aligns with my value set. So if you say you're talking to so-and-so, I'm not going to start talking about so-and-so and my experience with so-and-so, that's just not who I am personally. However, if you say I've been talking to so-and-so, do you know this person? What can you tell me about them? Then I will share, and I will share openly and honestly.
Speaker 1:When it comes down to vetting, it is critical because there's an extraordinary potential for harm in the play we do and your approach to that will depend on your set of filters, your set of experiences, where you are in your journey. You may very well and I do endorse and recommend you ask other submissives about a person, and that person should have no fear about that at all. That person, if anything, should almost encourage you to talk with people that they've played with. They should be confident enough in the track record they have left in the world for you to examine it closely. You don't need to ask people's permission to do this, and certainly no one should be seeking my permission to say something about their experiences with me. And if we need some solid ground to stand on beyond simple protection from trauma, it would be very, very old guard to vet someone extremely thoroughly before entering into a kink encounter with them. So thank you so very much for that interesting question.
Speaker 1:Norwegian Slave Boy. That's it for Ask Edge this time. Please, please, consider submitting a question either through email or through speak pipe. Both those links are in the show notes. And that's it for this episode. Thank you so much for joining me. Please consider subscribing, or you can send feedback to edge at fullcowshow, as always. May your leather journey be blessed.