Welcome to Full Cow, a podcast about leather and kink where your host, Edge (he/him), shares his 30+ years of experience in the community. In this episode we look at Digital Kink, starting with a personal history of the evolution of virtual kink spaces followed by a brief guide to navigating these spaces. The topic is gloves and this is how my podcast host's AI describes it:
Ever been captivated by the sleek allure of leather, the kind that snugly encases your hands with a promise of mystery and authority? Take a journey with me, your host Edge, as we explore the entrancing world of leather gloves within the kink and BDSM culture. I bring you tales from the depths of my glove fetish, a passion that's been with me since my early days, sparked by the likes of iconic figures in TV shows like "CHiPs." As we walk through memory lane, I'll reveal the profound impact joining a glove-focused group had on my identity and how the history of brands like Damascus and Tough Gloves hold a special place in our community.
This episode isn't just about reminiscing; it's a guide through the practical side of indulging in this specific kink. As a self-confessed glove aficionado, I lay out the nuances of glove maintenance, the significance of the gifting ritual, and the power gloves hold in enhancing intimate connections. Beyond maintaining our precious glove collections, we'll discuss how donning that perfect pair of black leather gloves serves as a potent form of self-expression and a nod to our shared fetish interests.
As we wrap up our tactile exploration, I turn introspective, considering the future of this podcast. I share the gratitude and connection I've felt with you, the listeners, who've turned this platform into something more than just a series of episodes. It's a community, a dialogue, and a shared passion. Yet, there's a raw honesty as I ponder the sustainability of content creation against the backdrop of personal challenges. I'm inviting you to be a part of this candid conversation about the role we play in each other's leatherworking journeys and the possibility of what lies ahead. Your stories and feedback are the heartbeat of this dialogue, so let's celebrate our connection through the language of leather.
Useful links:
Sizing gloves: Use this method to get your glove size.
Welcome to Full Cow, a podcast about leather and kink where your host, Edge (he/him), shares his 30+ years of experience in the community. In this episode we look at Digital Kink, starting with a personal history of the evolution of virtual kink spaces followed by a brief guide to navigating these spaces. The topic is gloves and this is how my podcast host's AI describes it:
Ever been captivated by the sleek allure of leather, the kind that snugly encases your hands with a promise of mystery and authority? Take a journey with me, your host Edge, as we explore the entrancing world of leather gloves within the kink and BDSM culture. I bring you tales from the depths of my glove fetish, a passion that's been with me since my early days, sparked by the likes of iconic figures in TV shows like "CHiPs." As we walk through memory lane, I'll reveal the profound impact joining a glove-focused group had on my identity and how the history of brands like Damascus and Tough Gloves hold a special place in our community.
This episode isn't just about reminiscing; it's a guide through the practical side of indulging in this specific kink. As a self-confessed glove aficionado, I lay out the nuances of glove maintenance, the significance of the gifting ritual, and the power gloves hold in enhancing intimate connections. Beyond maintaining our precious glove collections, we'll discuss how donning that perfect pair of black leather gloves serves as a potent form of self-expression and a nod to our shared fetish interests.
As we wrap up our tactile exploration, I turn introspective, considering the future of this podcast. I share the gratitude and connection I've felt with you, the listeners, who've turned this platform into something more than just a series of episodes. It's a community, a dialogue, and a shared passion. Yet, there's a raw honesty as I ponder the sustainability of content creation against the backdrop of personal challenges. I'm inviting you to be a part of this candid conversation about the role we play in each other's leatherworking journeys and the possibility of what lies ahead. Your stories and feedback are the heartbeat of this dialogue, so let's celebrate our connection through the language of leather.
Useful links:
Sizing gloves: Use this method to get your glove size.
Let's talk about gloves, that you are an adult. Welcome to Full Cow, a podcast about leather kink and BDSM. My name is Edge, my pronouns are he, him, and I'm your host, and this time we will be discussing one of my core central fetishes gloves, specifically tight black, short, full fingered leather gloves.
Speaker 1:
And you know, everything on this podcast is biased because it's all coming through my experience, my point of view. However, I will warn you now that, because they're so important to me, I am super biased when it comes to gloves. So please take this episode as less the. So please take this episode as less the unbiased authority on gloves and more Edge's crazy fetish. Take on gloves. Hopefully you'll find that fun. As always. I'm going to talk about my experience with this fetish, give you a little bit of how-to and then we have an Ask Edge question. I don't know how good this episode's going to be, but I do know that I love gloves. So let's get started. There are two things to know before I tell you my history with gloves. The first is that I am an absolute glove snob. You know there are many different ways to do leather and I affirm them all and I celebrate them all. And if you want to wear a leather ball, gown to the leather bar.
Speaker 1:
I'm going to make space for you, and I'm going to say you look fantastic in it and I will let you wear tennis shoes with a leather uniform, and however you want to do, leather is fine. But when it comes to gloves, as far as I'm concerned, there are really only two pairs of gloves that are acceptable. There is one, maybe one and a half color of gloves that are acceptable. Like, I am an absolute, utter snob when it comes to gloves, and that's because, too, I have an enormous weakness for gloves. I don't have a lot of really huge buttons that are really easy to press.
Speaker 1:
Leather in general yeah Boots, yeah C cigars yeah. The two, though, that are probably closest to kryptonite for me. The first is that I have really, really, really sensitive nipples, so very, very, very light tit play will feel so good it will make me literally growling and weak in my knees.
Speaker 1:
The second absolute utter weakness I have is gloves. If you are wearing the right pair of gloves, if they are the right size, I find them fairly hypnotic. I will be kind of entranced by them and you will definitely catch my eye and you will definitely have my attention. So where did that start, you know? Interestingly, while I know that interest in leather in general goes back as far as I have memories, I don't have specific memories of gloves that go far back, except for one. That is because I'm a child of the 70s. Somewhere in my mind in the neural pathways of my brain is burned in the image of Eric Estrada in the TV show Chips wearing tight black gloves. I don't even remember who his partner was. I don't remember anything about the show. They were cops, that's all I know. But I have very clear mental images of Eric Estrada in those tight gloves. Now I want to say I have some images too from Wild Wild West, but I don't know if those are glove related or chaps related.
Speaker 2:
But very clearly.
Speaker 1:
I had an early fixation, or I'm not even going to say it a fixation because it wasn't like an obsession at that point. But I don't look, I don't remember a lot about my childhood. Interesting trauma response, maybe why, I don't know. So for me to have specific memories it's pretty remarkable. Those memories have to be pretty damn special in some way. So for me to know that I remember Eric Estrada in tight black gloves, that means that there was something significant about that image from a very, very early age.
Speaker 1:
In terms of my leather journey, I can't even pinpoint when my interest in gloves really developed, although I would imagine it was around 1995 or so. If you've listened to the podcast for any length of time, you may recall that that was a real turning point in my journey. That was around the time that Edge was invented. It was around the time I discovered cigars. It's around the time I got into uniforms. So a lot of things were coming together for me in the late 90s and I'm pretty sure gloves were part of that. Certainly, I would think, late 90s into the early millennium. I knew of a group called Flag Fits Like a Glove. It was a group for glove fetishists based out of the Northeast. I was a member for many years, so that helped me to connect to others who had this fetish and to recognize it as a fetish, in fact my memory.
Speaker 1:
So here's the story of gloves. As far as I remember, right Like, there were these two guys in San Francisco I don't remember their names, but they were huge, huge glove fetishes and at the time the major manufacturer was Damascus. Damascus was the glove. They were the Wesco of gloves or the Langlitz of gloves or whatever top of the line name you want to use. Damascus gloves were that. And these guys here's my imagining. They started a business called Tough Gloves and as far as I'm concerned they started it primarily. I'm making this part up, but in my mind they started it so they could get wholesale pricing on Damascus gloves because they were huge glove fetishists. In any case, that business slowly grew and didn't just have fetishists as customers, because now we're moving into the age of internet commerce and actual police were buying their gloves as well.
Speaker 1:
At some point Damascus went out of business. I would love to know the story of what happened. If anyone knows, please contact me, because I just know they went out of business. Fortunately, the guys of Tough Gloves. Again, this is hearsay, but I'm pretty sure it's true. They bought the patterns from Damascus and they continued to make gloves under the Tough Gloves brand. Now they make a range of gloves, but the two that matter to me are the D301 and the D302. And I'll talk a little bit more about the differences between those in the next segment in the next segment. But the key thing is, I'm a D301 man. They are smooth, black leather. They are tight, tight, tight.
Speaker 2:
They are beautiful.
Speaker 1:
So Tough Gloves remained the primary manufacturer for years and years and years. At a certain point, I guess, they decided to sell the business, but it was bought by Stompers and then are now called Stompers Gloves. Interestingly, they just changed the gloves. I happen to know this because Stompers is based here in Fort Lauderdale. I know the people who run it. I've been inside their tiny little warehouse and I've seen all the Stompers Gloves in the world in one place. It's about five minutes from my house and I just love knowing I have access to all the gloves in the world in one place. It's about five minutes from my house and I just love knowing I have access to all the gloves in the world.
Speaker 1:
So I know that there's been a change. It has to do with the seam on the fingers and it's really you know if you have a pair and it looks like there's a little ridge on the seam. They're not doing that anymore. Now the seam is more inside. I forget the actual terms for it. If anyone knows, you're more than welcome to reach out to me and let me know. The key is it just was too labor intensive to do one kind of seam, so they decided to do the other kind. This was not their decision, this was forced on them by the people actually making the gloves. You'd have to be next-level glove fetishist to realize that there was even a change. I don't think I'm next-level glove fetishist, I'm a glove snob. But I'm not a next-level glove fetishist and I have some of the old ones, I have some of the new ones. I'm noticing no difference whatsoever.
Speaker 1:
So my fixation on gloves started late last millennium, in the 90s, in the late 1900s, as we say, and I think. For me first of all, gloves represent power in a way that boots kind of do, leather kind of does, and I don't know why gloves embody power more to me than those other items, but they do, and it may be related to their use in police contexts, which could be a little problematic as we think about police violence and systemic racism. But I have to imagine that connected deeply within me is notions of power and gloves, powers and gloves, power and gloves. I also really love gloves because of their full sensory experience. They represent all the sensory engagement of leather, but in a somehow more accessible form, I guess. Like it's easier to feed someone gloved fingers than to feed them, the knee of your leather breeches right. So gloves have a beautiful smell, particularly if they've been seasoned with cigar smoke. That combination is deeply intoxicating. They have a particular taste.
Speaker 2:
They have not so much a sound but they have a wonderful feel.
Speaker 1:
It's a really tactile notion of leather on the body and they have a really great look the body and they have a really great look if they're worn nice and tight. I'm very snobby that way. So my interest in gloves started in the late 1900s and as I've continued in my journey, you know a lot of fetishes I've had have dropped off. New ones have come in. Gloves have only become more and more central as I've grown, along with cigars and leather and boots. Right, that is the core, core of who I am and I don't think that's changing anytime soon. Gloves do come in a number of colors. I have some in. I think that's like a chestnut, it's sort of a darker brown. I think they probably call it walnut or something which is a lighter brown. But I always return to black gloves because something about black leather is especially resonant for me and so I always go back to those gloves. I call myself I'm not a next level glove fetishist, because it's not like I have piles and piles and piles of gloves. I do, compared to some people. Generally speaking, I have two pairs that are in service at any given time. I have a pair of D301s and a pair of D302s. We'll talk about the difference of those in the next segment and then lately I've been having I just sort of buy a couple pairs when I go shop for them and I keep. So I've got a couple of pairs that I haven't even worn yet, that are still in their bag in my closet just waiting for when they're ready to be worn. Because gloves do stretch and I like them skin tight. Over time they get to a point where it's really time for me to get a new pair and now I have some just handy that I can pull out and use. I like, when possible, to gift my old gloves to people who I think will really value them. Sometimes that's other fetishists that I know are really into gloves or really into leather in general. Sometimes it's to people who are really important in my life who maybe won't even be able to fit into my stretched out gloves but who will be able to hold them and therefore hold a piece of me.
Speaker 1:
So I almost always have gloves when I go out. They're usually in my back left pocket, which is kind of a way of signaling I don't know glove top, general top, but it's also sort of handy in reach. So you almost will always see me in gloves when I go out. If it's super duper hot, maybe not, and there've been a couple of times where I went out even though I wasn't really feeling it and I had my gloves with me and I'm like you know what, it's not even worth putting these on, but you'll almost always see me in leather contacts with a pair of gloves. And if you're wearing gloves, if you're wearing the right gloves and if you're wearing them the right way and I use the term right in quotation marks, because this is my snobbery and it's not absolute right, it's right in Edge's fetish brain If you are wearing gloves in ways that resonate for me, I will definitely notice and I will definitely be giving you the eye and checking you out.
Speaker 1:
Gloves are also an important part of my play. One of the things I like to do is what's called hand gagging, and I guess you can do it with just a regular hand, but I always do it with a gloved hand and it starts with feeding a boy one gloved finger and then two, and then three, and then waiting until the fingers are really nice and slick and then seeing how much of my fist I can fit down their throat until they start to gag, and it is a beautiful, intimate, powerful little act. It's something I do at the beginning of a scene, but it gives me quite a bit of pleasure. So gloves are central to my leather life, to my leather image, to my bar life, to my play, and for the man who knows how to wear gloves in the way I like gloves worn, they already have an edge in getting to know me pun intended, because you definitely have my attention if you're wearing gloves.
Speaker 1:
That's sort of my journey of gloves. It started somewhere in the 70s when I was watching Chips as a young child. It reawakened in the late 90s when I was getting into uniforms and then I found other glove fetishists through Flag which still exists, by the way, if you're interested. They actually have a Mr slash Ms. They have a title, mr Flag, I think, and then that allowed me to connect to other fetishists. And then, as I've continued to grow on my leather journey, gloves have become more central and have really really centered themselves in every part of my leather life.
Speaker 1:
And that's my personal story with gloves. In the next segment I'll go a little bit more about the kinds of gloves and buying gloves and I will try to be open-minded to the large variety of gloves available to people, because I understand that just because I'm a snob doesn't mean that my way is the only way. It's just the way that turns me on. So if you're a glove lover, I hope you enjoy the next segment as well. If you're new to gloves, I hope you find it useful and I hope to see all of you gloved out and about, and I hope to see all of you gloved out and about.
Speaker 1:
Let's talk about buying gloves First. I think we need to acknowledge that there are many different types of gloves and that some of these are fetish in themselves. So, for example, I know people who are specifically into driving gloves. There are also biker gloves that are fingerless, there are weightlifting gloves and there are gloves connected to any number of sports.
Speaker 1:
However, in a leather fetish context, what we are usually talking about is police search gloves. Keep in mind that, as fetishists in leather, we have invented almost nothing by ourselves. Instead, what we do is borrow from other contexts. We did not invent chaps, we did not invent breeches and we certainly did not invent gloves. In those other contexts, the items we wear have very practical value and here, as the name would imply, police search gloves were used by police for searching. So if you're frisking someone, if you're patting them down, what do you want? You want some protection for the hand, but you also want a really thin covering so that you can have tactility, so you can feel what's in someone's pocket. So police search gloves are really really thin leather and that's part of what makes them so form-fitting and so tactile for both the person wearing them and the person receiving touch.
Speaker 1:
The major manufacturer for police search gloves in a fetish context is tough gloves. Manufacturer for police search gloves in a fetish context is Tough Gloves, now Stompers Gloves or I guess it's Stompers Producing Tough Gloves, perhaps, and you can also find some other brands. Hatch is another brand that is more exclusively marketed to law enforcement officers, but in the fetish community the primary place you're going to get gloves from at the end of the day is Stomper's Gloves, slash Tough Gloves. They range in price. They're usually about $50 for a good, good, good pair of gloves, and for some people that's a lot of money, but it's worth noting that, compared to something like a pair of boots or a pair of leather pants, it's a fairly affordable fetish investment, except for the fact that you're probably going to be buying gloves regularly because they do stretch out and so you will want to get new pairs every now and then. But expect to spend around $50. That's US dollars.
Speaker 1:
For fetishists and again, I'm not an ultra fetishist, I'm like medium level fetishist the big loves are the D301s and the D302s, also known1 is absolutely smooth leather on the back of the hand and the D302 has those three little lines you might have noticed on gloves and those are called points. So the D302 has points, the D301 does not. Some people like the D303. Those gloves have a snap. They're open on the back, but they have some extra stitching on the palm. I don't know why. I'm not a fan of that. But if you wear D303s, at least I know you're within my universe. So it is another model for you to consider. There are also gauntlet gloves.
Speaker 1:
Now gauntlet gloves again come from a practical context of probably originally the military, but more recently motorcycles. And what gauntlets are? They have an extended gauntlet of leather that covers the wrist and forearm, and in a motorcycle context you would wear this along with your motorcycle jacket to keep air from cold air from blowing up your sleeve and freezing you, cold air from blowing up your sleeve and freezing you. So gauntlets are another perfectly acceptable choice. I tend to only wear mine if I'm wearing a leather jacket. I don't like the look quite as much, but they are an option for you if you like the look. Almost always gloves are black. However, there are a number of colors available, and white gloves especially might be appropriate for certain uniforms. For certain dress uniforms, you need white gloves period. There are also shades of brown available, some lighter, more like a tan, some richer, darker, like a chocolate. I have found the lighter gloves will stain easily and quickly, so keep that in mind. I always just go with black because it resonates for me. But when you're shopping you do have a lot of choice of colors. I have seen a lot of people wearing red leather gloves or red and blue leather gloves or purple leather gloves. So if you're someone who really likes to be colorful in their leather fetish, there are options for you. I'm not entirely sure where to buy them. I can tell you Teff gloves does not make them. I can tell you there are probably a lot of Pakistani makers making gloves. So if you feel like that's going to be a reliable source for you, you can certainly pursue it. But I'm really focusing in on getting your first pair of basic gloves. So if you feel like that's going to be a reliable source for you, you can certainly pursue it. But I'm really focusing in on getting your first pair of basic gloves, and so that'll probably be black. It'll probably be the D301 or the D302.
Speaker 1:
For sizing the way to measure for your glove size is to wrap a tape measure around your four fingers, right around at the knuckles, and that measurement is your glove size. Some people tend to be a little between glove sizes and a lot of it has to do as well with finger length. So Bearman, who owns Leatherworks and Stompers Boots and Stompers Gloves, often chides me for buying gloves that are too small. I am a size six, which is as small as they make them, in case you're curious, and I hear him on that. But they don't make gloves in half sizes and when I try a seven, there's leather left at the tip of my fingers and that's why I don't wear a seven, that's why I wear a six, so that they are tight through my fingers. But I do know people who've had really long fingers, really short fingers, really big hands, really small hands.
Speaker 1:
You might encounter some problems finding the perfectly fit glove for you, and that's a time you might turn to a Pakistani manufacturer or some other custom glove maker. I don't have those resources available right now. However, if you like really colorful gloves or if you suspect you're between sizes, please feel free to reach out to me and I will connect you to some sources. The gloves should be tight when you put them on. For me, I feel like the glove only fits when I struggle to put them on the first couple of times.
Speaker 1:
As part of that, I like to make sure that my hands are cool and dry, because your hands do change size a little bit through the day. They can swell a little, they can shrink a little. I find this a lot when I'm wearing rings. Sometimes the ring fits perfectly. Sometimes it feels a little too big. So I try to be really mindful, because I wear my gloves so tight that my hands have got to be cool and dry and the first time I put on gloves I have to put them on very carefully.
Speaker 1:
If you're wearing a glove that's a little better sized for you, isn't ultra, ultra tight, you might still have just a little bit of trouble putting them on the first time. That's great. Gloves stretch that's a fantastic thing and that's a horrible thing. It's fantastic because they really will mold to your hand as you begin to wear them and after a few wearings I find my gloves a lot easier to put on and take off. When I'm taking them off, I try to do one finger at a time and then pull them all off. And when I'm putting them on the thumb, the little joint in the thumb is the tricky part. That's where I try to take extra care Because of my near obsession with skin-tight gloves. I've actually ripped several pair of the D301s trying to put them on, and that's why I always exercise extraordinary caution when putting on a pair of new gloves. You probably won't encounter this problem if you are buying a glove that fits, that isn't super tight but it fits.
Speaker 1:
But if you're like me and you want it skin tight, put them on the first time with extreme care, wear them for a while so they begin to stretch, take them off with extreme care and do that for the first two or three times when you're wearing them. I'll say once gloves break in and they do break in beautifully you can even use your cell phone or any touchscreen with your gloves. You don't need special touchscreen gloves. The leather in something like a D301 is thin enough that I don't know the magic, I don't know the science, but I know I have no problem using my phone after maybe the third or fourth time wearing my gloves. Caring for gloves is very easy because you are wearing them and hopefully wearing them often. They are often exposed to your body's oils on the skin and so remain fairly supple. Maybe every once in a while in the life of my gloves I will put some leather conditioner on them and I prefer open offs when I do that. But I think you'll generally find that they take care of themselves and they serve you very well. I will also say the D302, I find the last pair of D302s I got is a slightly thicker leather than the D301s and that makes them both tighter, longer and a little more resilient when putting them on for the first time. So if you're going for an ultra, ultra, ultra tight glove, the D301 might be a little riskier because I've torn several pairs. The D302 might be slightly safer, but keep in mind that we're dealing with an extremely beautifully thin leather in either case, and so you do want to have a lot of care when you're putting them on for the first time. These gloves are made from Cabretta leather, which is a sheep leather. There's a special sheep that grows hair instead of wool. I think it's South American and it creates this beautifully thin, relatively tough leather.
Speaker 1:
If your gloves get stretched out now, I've heard this is possible. I've not tested it theoretically don't, don't quote me on this. Theoretically, you can wash your gloves in a washing machine without any detergent, and I would probably. I don't know what temperature I would use. I would not use hot, I might use cold, I might use warm, and then you can allow them to air dry. Don't put them in the dryer They'll shrink too much, they'll get too dry, and then you can put them on and condition them. Honestly, that just feels super risky to me and it's not something I've ever tried. I've heard of it. It is part of the lore, I think, among glove fetishists, and if you have experience with that, please reach out and let me know and I can share that in a future episode.
Speaker 1:
In general, my gloves will last me at least six months, maybe a year, I don't know how often I change them, and it's not even they don't wear out. I've had one pair of gloves that I've worn so much they've gotten a little hole in the thumb. It's more that at a certain point they're not quite as tight as I like them, and then I get a new pair. Your mileage will probably vary because I am particular about my gloves especially. I want them skin tight, and so I do buy things that are maybe slightly small for me, I do rip them because I'm so eager to put them on, and I do change them out when they are not as skin tight as I want them to be. You don't have to do any of that. You can follow standard glove making sizing. Get a pair of gloves that just fit. Go on your merry way.
Speaker 1:
I do recommend using tough gloves and getting your gloves from Stompers Gloves. If you're buying your gloves at Mr S. Those are also tough gloves slash Stompers, gloves and if you buy them on Amazon, they're also available there. They are the major manufacturer. If we're thinking about fetish context, they are the major manufacturer for gloves. So chances are no matter where you got your gloves. If you got them from a leather store, if you got them at a leather event, they probably are tough gloves, gloves and they're probably D302s, unless you think to get the D301s. There are probably some other sources you can get gloves from, but these are the ones I know and I think that's the basic introduction to gloves Get your size, get D301s with no stitching on the back, just smooth leather.
Speaker 1:
If you prefer them and I know some people who are D302 people if you prefer them, you can get the D302s, which is really more the classic police glove and it's got the stitches on the back. Those are called points. Get your right size, get them in black or any color you want. If you can't find your right size, think about custom Pakistani types of sources. If you want other colors, think about custom Pakistani kinds of sources and then enjoy them. They're fairly resilient. They will serve you well and if they get too stretched out, theoretically you can shrink them in the washer. Do not quote me on that, but do please get gloves and enjoy gloves. Please get gloves and enjoy gloves even better. Leave me a voicemail at speakpipecom slash leatheredge L-T-H-R-E-D-G-E. That's speakpipe, speakpipecom slash leatheredge. Those links are in the show notes and always available to you. Please do submit questions. I appreciate them and they add some valuable content to this podcast. And this time we have one question Well, more of a comment, but we have a question slash comment from Augie.
Speaker 2:
Hello Edge, I wanted to say thank you for putting the podcast that you do out there. Just to give you a little context about myself I am a 32-year-old Paz trans man, transitioned early adulthood so I've basically just been a gay man living my life. Um, I've pretty much always been perceived as cis my whole adult life. So, um, I really appreciate the podcast because I don't think I would get to learn about the things that you share. Um, I think it's a little bit harder, as a trans masc person, I guess, being exposed to this. So it's really great to learn about the things that you share and I hope that depression isn't being too rough on you and that you get back on your feet very soon. But I just want to say I really appreciate your work and it's really great that you have this out there. It's very helpful and, I think, more impactful than you know.
Speaker 1:
First of all, augie and I hope I'm not crossing any boundaries here but wow, you have a very sexy voice. Thank you for the comment. I think I've mentioned several times across all of my social media how deeply valuable it is to me when people reach out to just say thanks or to say I found this episode valuable or I appreciate what you're doing because it's a lot of work, and the podcast in particular, because it's on a schedule and I have to. I don't have to. I've committed to doing two episodes a month, a full episode and an interlude, and that means just about every weekend I need to be doing something on the podcast and it's getting really challenging for me now in terms of just thinking about topics, things I know about, things I can hunt down people and have them schedule to talk to me about. It's just, it's a lot. And, yeah, my depression is better. I don't know.
Speaker 1:
I'm starting to think about retirement from all of this retiring edge, shutting down my social media, both the Instagram and the Twitter and the podcast, and I am not making any decisions yet because it's really hard for me to know today how much of that is because of the depression and how much of that is a sense that it's time. If you look at the whole history if you include my original website, leatheredgecom, which in many ways is where all of this started that launched in 1995. So there's a sense in which I've been doing this sort of work for 30 years, almost 30 years that's more than half my life years that's more than half my life and I don't know. I just don't know. I don't know what it's costing me. Now. God, that sounds horrible. I am starting to think about where else I should be putting my energy, and a lot of this, frankly, has to do with the fact that I'm single, and sometimes I'm super okay with that and sometimes I super struggle'm single and sometimes I'm super okay with that and sometimes I super struggle with that.
Speaker 1:
And when I'm super struggling with it, I think hmm, maybe just being who I am private citizen and not edge leather social media person. Maybe that would free up time, energy, space to find someone to share my life with. There's also a sense that maybe I've just accomplished all I need to accomplish. I've not been posting a lot on my Instagram or my Twitter I refuse to call it X. I've not been posting a lot in part because of the depression and in part because I just don't really have anything to say right now.
Speaker 1:
And I don't post just to post. I post when I get inspired by a question or a conversation or there's a topic that I think needs to be addressed and I realize that I have something to say, something to say that might be impactful because of the giant backpack of privilege I bring with me. So there may come a point I don't know when, maybe soon, maybe never, but maybe soon where I say goodbye, and I've done it before. You know, the original website was launched in 1995. I maintained it for 10 years, which in internet terms at that time was a lifetime and I took it down and I spent quite a few years just being me. I stopped using Edge even, and I eventually drifted back to Edge because you know, wow, man, it's a good foundation, like all right, like I have something there and it was good to step back into it. And then, eventually, it was good to resume this sort of educational work I do. But between this being single and being the struggle bus of being single, between that and having a sense of maybe I've done all I can do. Maybe if I continue, I'm just going to end up putting out content I'm not really happy with. Maybe it's time to retire, so you know, when I get a message like this, it keeps the fire burning a little bit longer. And this is not to like beg for feedback from people and praise and validation. I don't do this for praise or validation. I am finally, finally, at a point in my life where I get my praise and validation internally. But all of that being said, oh, my goodness, I hope that didn't come through. I just got a text message because I forgot to put the do not disturb on. I don't know what the future of Edge and Edge's media is.
Speaker 1:
In the meantime, augie, you helped make this episode happen. You're the only question I have, right, you are the only comment I have, and you have contributed significantly to this episode, and for that I thank you. And that's not to guilt people either, as a local friend pointed out, I could always just make up questions and say that they had been submitted and I might do that at some point. I have not done that yet, and today I'm okay. Today this episode's getting done and tomorrow I'm going to start on an interlude, hopefully. Or I think I have the topic for next month's episode. It's just tricky, so I'm kind of not sure about it. So today things are good.
Speaker 1:
I would like to at least commit to this third season of the podcast, but at some point I have to also do what's right for Edge and not just what's right for everyone else. Oh my god, this is becoming horrible in every way. Oh my God, the layers of emotional manipulation here. You know what? Here's what I'm gonna say. Augie, thank you for your contact, thank you for your comment and everyone else. I'm doing fine and I am sorry that this ask edge has become not exactly what I intended and I hope all of you will forgive me for displaying my complex thinking and rambling thoughts. I appreciate it. I appreciate the fact that you take time out of your day to listen. I appreciate that you've given me a platform. This is not me, ultimately, it's all of you and I don't forget that and I value it and I am deeply grateful, and that's all for this episode. I hope all of you have really really exquisite leather journeys.
Speaker 1:
And that's it for this episode. Thank you so much for joining me. Please consider subscribing or you can send feedback to edge at full cow dot show, as always. May your leather journey be blessed.