Full Cow: Edge Talks Leather and Kink

The Leatherman's Handbook

• Edge • Season 4 • Episode 4

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Imagine discovering a time capsule that reveals the birth of leather culture—the codes, practices, and fierce spirit of resistance that shaped our community. Larry Townsend's Leatherman's Handbook, originally published in 1972, was exactly that: a revolutionary document that dared to say "your desires are valid" when society labeled kinky people as mentally ill.

When Edge first discovered this book as a young leather person in the late 1980s, it was nothing short of "a lightning bolt of revelation." Now, after decades of being virtually unobtainable (unless you were willing to pay $400 for a used copy), this foundational text has been reprinted, allowing a new generation to connect with leather's origins.

The available edition combines both the original 1972 text and Townsend's 1997 Silver Jubilee commentary, offering a fascinating dual perspective—showing leather culture at its emergence and then through the devastating impact of the AIDS crisis. What makes this historical document so surprisingly relevant today is its portrayal of leather's political roots. The central figure wasn't the leather uniform cop but the outlaw biker—a symbol of defiance against constant police harassment and criminalization.

This episode explores what parts of Townsend's vision remain valuable today: the accessibility of leather identity (requiring minimal gear investment), the importance of community protection and solidarity, and the understanding that leather practices have always varied by region rather than following rigid "Old Guard" protocols. Edge doesn't shy away from acknowledging the dated elements—the rigid roles, exclusionary focus on cis gay men, and terminology now considered offensive—while highlighting how our community has evolved beyond these limitations.

Whether you're a leather history buff or simply curious about the foundations of kink culture, this episode offers both historical context and thought-provoking questions about what parts of our heritage deserve reclaiming. The Leatherman's Handbook wasn't just a sex manual—it was the blueprint for a community of resistance and mutual support that continues to inspire us today.

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Ask Edge! Go to https://www.speakpipe.com/LTHREDGE to leave ask a question or leave feedback. Find Edge's other content on Instagram and Twitter. Also visit his archive of educational videos, Tchick-Tchick.

Speaker 1:

Let's talk about the Leink and BDSM. My name is Edge, my pronouns are he, him, and I'm your host, and in this episode we're going to focus on the Leatherman's Handbook by Larry Townsend, an incredibly important document for our community and one that was out of print for a very long time but which has been recently re-released. As usual, I'll start by sharing my experiences in relation to this topic before we do a deep dive into the book itself and thinking about what about it really still resonates and remains important for us, and what about it feels particularly dated, and that's going to be the whole of this episode. I did not have any Ask Edge questions, so this episode may be a little bit on the shorter side. However, I think it's a really important document. I cannot stress enough how critical this book was and how important it was to the formation of the community as we know it today. So I'm hoping that, even if it's a little short, it is something you enjoy, because I think it's going to be a really good episode. And let's get started.

Speaker 1:

I started my journey as a leather person in the late 80s of the last millennium Maybe the early 90s, but it was very late in the last millennium and obviously we did not have the web. We did not have the internet, we did not have the ready access to information that we are blessed and cursed with today. And so when I discovered the Leatherman's Handbook, it was a lightning bolt of revelation. A lightning bolt of revelation, it was fundamental to the beginning of my journey. It helped birth me as a leather person. Now I wish I could tell you when I got it. I wish I still had my book. It disappeared from my library at some point. I probably loaned it to someone and never got it back, and I kick myself for that. At some point I probably loaned it to someone and never got it back, and I kick myself for that. I know that it was very early on in my journey and I have to imagine I probably got it from Second Skin, which was the leather store in New Orleans at that time, because I can't imagine anywhere else I would have bought it. This is not something that would have been in bookstores we didn't even have Barnes and Noble back then, let alone Amazon. So I have to imagine I got it from the local leather shop, which means I suppose I'd already stepped into the community to some degree. I think I was actually reading the Leatherman's Handbook 2. I'm not entirely positive and I've tried to figure out how many different editions this book has been through and when the Leatherman's Handbook 2 came out. And I've tried to figure out how many different editions this book has been through and when the Leatherman Handbook 2 came out. I couldn't untangle that timeline because the resources available today require more research than I'd like to do. Here's what it comes down to. I found this book. It opened the door to me and I walked through.

Speaker 1:

The thing I most remember about the book is not the insights about the community. I kind of feel like those parts of it the actual practical how-to. I wasn't paying a whole lot of attention to the parts of the book I remember most was the porn. So throughout this book, at the end of every chapter, in the middle of a chapter, townsend will go into an erotic pornographic story and this was my first access to kink porn. And I can't tell you which stories I really zeroed in on, but I recall having certain go-to stories in the book that really, let's say they served me well. So even though I wasn't taking notes out of it and in part by that time I'm sure it felt pretty dated to the community I was moving into by that time. I was moving into the community and learning more directly from the leather folk around me. I can't say that I actually took notes out of it, but I certainly took images, fantasies, desires, the shapes of scenes. I definitely imprinted those into my erotic imagination very deeply.

Speaker 1:

There remains as well, this sense of initiation that I recall from getting this book. I was so bewildered first entering into the community, because it's disorienting, let's face it. It's disorienting now for anyone stepping into the community, and that's with all this information readily available. I was so disoriented and uncertain, unsure who I was, how I fit, what my place was, what my tribe was, what my community was. I just place was what my tribe was, what my community was. I just I didn't know. I didn't know. I was moving through some desire in me to find something. And when I found this book I discovered, first of all, I'm not alone. Second of all, there's a whole community, there is a tribe, there is a place where I belong. Third, it has a history. It has a history that existed since before I stepped into it. So for all those reasons, picking up the Leatherman's Handbook felt like coming into something, coming into the community, coming into my own. Somehow. It felt very initiatory and I value that.

Speaker 1:

I would do anything to have my copy of the Leatherman's Handbook back. It is so resonant for me. And here's what's interesting, right, I can't tell you, I can't tell you when I got it, I can't tell you what year it was. I can't tell you what I read. I can't tell you when I got it. I can't tell you what year it was. I can't tell you what I read. I can't tell you what I learned from it. I remember the things about it that I valued. I know, if nothing else, it was incredibly important to me.

Speaker 1:

And you know I collect all kinds of leather books. I have Leatherfolk, I have the Real Thing, I have Urban Aboriginal. I have tons of books about leather because I'm kind of a bookish guy and because in the long ago, in the before time, that's what we did we read books. We didn't have the web. So I have a lot of books and the one that just feels most missing is this book, and I was so thrilled to see that it had been re-released.

Speaker 1:

It is a reprint of the Jubilee edition, right? So the Leatherman's Handbook was originally published in 1972. This is the Silver Jubilee. It's a 1997 edition and I was so thrilled because I had looked for the book. I'm like I need the Letterman's Handbook on my bookshelf. Well, you know what To buy it before this release.

Speaker 1:

To buy it, you'd find used copies that went for like $400. And as much as I value it, I'm not spending $400 for an old, beat up paperback book. That was just not going to happen. So for I don't know a decade or more I've been longing for this book and did not have it because it was not available. It was not in print and the used copies were exorbitant.

Speaker 1:

So I was just over the moon when I found out that it had been reprinted and bought it immediately, and before I decided to really talk about it, I did a short little video on my social media about it just to let people know it was out, and I decided, before I really talked about it, I need to spend some time rereading it. And that's what I've been doing over the past several months, because I don't have all the time for reading that I used to have, but I would spend a little bit of time each morning reading a chapter or a part of a chapter, with this podcast in mind, with an understanding that I wanted to share what I saw with all of you. So the whole arc of my personal experience with the Leatherman's Handbook is this I found it and found myself. I lost it and continued on my journey. I missed it and looked for it and did not find it. And then I found it again and I promise you it will have a place on my bookshelf now and my name will be written in that cover and people, if someone borrows it, they will return it to me because I will not lose this book again. And for now, it's this sort of reminder of my beginnings and it's this reminder of who we were.

Speaker 1:

And what's interesting you'll see in the next segment is I rediscovered things that are so timely, that are so perfect for the world we live in today, that it's re-release seems really, really fortuitous. And that's my story about the Leatherman's Handbook. I wish I had more details to share about the hot stories. I wish I could tell you the specific things I learned, but we're talking about memories that are over 30 years old probably 35 years old, oh God and they're fuzzy. They're fuzzy, but the emotional resonance is crystal clear. This book is important to me and that's why I want to share it with you. Not that it's going to be important to you, not that you may even ever read it, but I want you to know about it because it's an important part of our story. And so, with all that being said, I'm going to move into the next segment, where we really go into what makes this book so important. See you soon to what makes this book so important. See you soon.

Speaker 1:

Let me start by framing this book and how radical it was. Now, if you are a loco like me, a leather person of a certain age, then this entire episode might evoke a kind of nostalgia, because there's a very good chance that if you've been into leather for a long time, you've encountered Townsend before Now. If you're younger and by younger I mean younger in leather, not necessarily chronological age this is going to be an important introduction to a key text, a key figure in our community and its history. The book was originally published in 1972, and the edition that's been reprinted is the 1997 Jubilee Silver Edition Silver Jubilee Edition and that means it's a kind of palimpsest. We have the original text, but beside it, in parentheses and italics, townsend is adding in notes from the perspective of 1997. And so in this one book you get a simultaneous view of two points in our history 1972, the beginning when our community is emerging out of the shadows and into a kind of openness where people can find it more easily, and 1997, the height of the HIV-AIDS pandemic. And both of those incredibly historic moments are in this single text and you get to see them both operating as Townsend narrates them both.

Speaker 1:

This book was the first entry point available into Leather life. So before 1972, there was no handbook. Before 1972, you wandered into a leather bar and looked like an idiot because you didn't know what you were doing, and then maybe stumbled along and found someone to teach you and mentor you and you finally found your way With Townsend's book. It was the first widely available map into a hidden world. It was the first book that could tell you how to enter that letter. First of all, what was the letter bar? Where was it, what was the name of it and how to enter into it and therefore how to enter into the community. And there's no minimizing how radical that was. And what's beautiful about it is that Townsend is really codifying a culture in motion. So we get to see the community at this point in time and we get another glimpse of it in 1997.

Speaker 1:

Part of what made it so radical is that he legitimized kink as an identity and not a pathology. His core message in this book is your desires are valid, your desires are valid. And for a generation that was told to be ashamed, this was liberating. I mean a generation first of all told to be ashamed of, this was liberating. And I mean a generation first of all told to be ashamed of being gay. And not even kink wasn't even on the horizon of toleration, of tolerance. But here's this book that says no, it's okay, your desires are valid. In fact, leather is healthy and joyful and beautifully erotic. At a time when it would have been considered an illness, like in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychological Association, it would have been an illness. And here it is, this book saying no, you're not sick, you are not sick and your desires are valid.

Speaker 1:

Part of that radical contribution that Townsend made was also laying the foundations for consent and negotiation and notions of how this community worked out, how it was going to do what it was going to do, going to do what it was going to do, and then also radical, was simply offering a community. These people were not freaks, they were a member of a sort of tribe, a lot of that centered at the bar and centered in bike clubs. But in his storytelling you see how there were really deep affective friendships in these spaces. I think it's also radical for us and worth recovering at this moment, because he really does show leather is not just sex, it is also a kind of life philosophy and it is a political stance and it is ritual and it is all of that together, ritual and it is all of that together. So take a moment right now and imagine if you were alive in 1972. I was. Imagine you were alive in 1972. Imagine you were to open a book and suddenly see your secret, dirty, shameful desires in print, celebrated. That is the kind of radical moment that Townsend represents.

Speaker 1:

Now we're reading the Silver Jubilee edition from 1997, and that also requires a little bit of framing. Now, by 1997, we do have the protease inhibitors, so, and HIV-AIDS is not quite the death sentence it used to be. However, reading Townsend's notes, you really still get a sense of the trauma. You see the impact of HIV-AIDS on our community and you see the grief and you see the uncertainty. So there's still a lot of things like we're not sure if Popper's causes HIV-AIDS and we're not sure if this is risky behavior. And it's really kind of interesting because at this point I was actually quite baffled because I'm like, wait a second, this is 1997. There was a lot of stuff we knew, but in that moment I think the knowledge was so new, the knowledge of a horizon where people could live with HIV AIDS, the protease inhibitors that trajectory was so new that it hadn't trickled down into the deep soul consciousness of people. And I think we see that reflected in Townsend's notes right. And for anyone like me who lived through this pandemic, it just altered everything. It altered everything. The whole landscape of our intimacy, our sex and our desire was inalterably shaped, changed, and HIV-AIDS reshaped leather life and we see that here Now. It's great to celebrate these things in this radical moment and I want to provide that historical context in that framing.

Speaker 1:

However, it's really important to talk about what is dated and even potentially offensive in this book, because it's very much a book of its time time. Some of the things that are dated are really obvious, like a lot of the landmarks are gone. He talks about a lot of bars and clubs and hookup spots and even between 1972 and 1997, he reflects on how those spaces have changed and have continued to change. That part's not particularly surprising right Bars open and close all the time. Surprising right Bars open and close all the time. Some of the other parts of it that feel really dated and almost offensive is the rigid, rigid roles. Now there is no top, bottom, dom sub. In Townsend there is the S and the M. The S is the sadist and the M is the masochist, which is interesting because it's not like M for master, s for slave. No, it's capital S sadist and M for masochist. There's very, very little sense that anyone could be a switch. There are a couple of moments where he kind of talks about it, but there isn't the same fluidity of roles or even necessarily evolutionary paths of roles that we see in the community today.

Speaker 1:

There's also a very exclusionary focus on cis, gay men. There's no mention of leather women. Certainly we know they were out there doing their thing. Also, no mention of non-masculine leather people, transgender leather people. None of that is in this book and the whole safety and consent frameworks are there like there's a sense you need to negotiate. But in terms of safety there's not a lot of information on aftercare, the way we understand aftercare, of information on aftercare, the way we understand aftercare, or really you can see in his 1997 notes still a lot of doubt about how to have safer kinky sex. So that feels really dated.

Speaker 1:

One of the things that also feels dated and a little offensive is that masculinity is so centered and in fact he has a really I found it personally offensive a really offensive intra-community, misogynistic homophobia. He calls certain gay men poofs and it's a way of really vilifying their lack of masculinity and the poof is also non-leather and so that also sets up this binary where masculine is leather, feminine is gay and I just don't think that's true and I don't think that is something we can really tolerate as a community. He is surprisingly pessimistic about relationships. He has this sense that leather relationships are not possible, they are doomed, they're not going to be stable. There's a real sense that the best way to do it is to kind of have a roommate and each of you do your own thing. There's no real understanding of polyamory or leather households or chosen family. None of that is really available to him at that time. And then, finally, the most blatantly offensive stuff is his use of certain racial terminology that is just not something we tolerate anymore. In fact it's something we don't tolerate so much I'm not even going to mention it and you see it. There's a survey in the end, kind of a survey of your interests, and you can really see he's using terms that we just don't use anymore. So because it's a product of its time, a lot of it is going to feel really dated and a lot of it, if you read the book, you should just kind of put in a box, throw away. You should really not take in these more dated and offensive elements.

Speaker 1:

That being said, there's still a surprising amount of this book that rings true even today, and part of that is this notion that consent is critical. It is the backbone of the encounter. So in all his little vignettes, in all his little stories, there's some mention of usually on the way home from the bar. There's some mention of negotiation or discussion. There's a real sense that trust is important and that you need to be clear on what your interests are, what you're willing to do and what you're not willing to do. So this becomes much more developed and we become much more structural about it in an understanding of what consent looks like.

Speaker 1:

But even then there's a real sense that there is community, that there is consent. There is a real sense of community. Now there isn't leather family and there isn't polyamory and there aren't stable leather relationships. But in the bars there are these friends and friendships, and those friends and friendships are deep and effective. They are very close, intimate bonds, and so you get a sense of community and you get a sense of mentorship as well. That this person taught me that here's my friend here. I loaned him my boy. There's a lot of that.

Speaker 1:

There's also a real sense of the ritual and meaning that can come into play. That is still pretty core to how I practice leather today. That leather is identity affirming, it is intimate, it is symbolic, it carries meaning and it carries meaning that is deeper than the acts we are doing. It means something bigger than us and there's a sense of that here in this book that really remains true to us today. There is also just a basic affirmation that these roles are valid and there's respect for them. There's no sense that domination is abuse or submission is weakness, but no, if you're a sub, that is absolutely great. I'm sorry, in his context, if you are an M, that is absolutely great. Obviously that is something we covered for today. And the integration of leather into everyday life, that it's not a pastime but it really is part of who you are, that is part of your identity and part of your lifestyle. Those are some of the larger, deeper sorts of things that I think resonate and as you read through you might find particular practices that we still do as a community.

Speaker 1:

So, beyond the stuff that, okay, we need to throw away, beyond the stuff oh yeah, that's still true there's a lot of really curious stuff that I read and I just found kind of fascinating, because Townsend is writing from the 70s with a reflection from the 90s and therefore is showing us, remember this culture in motion and so you see a snapshot of the configuration of fetishes at that time. So, for example, he talks about rubber, but it's very clearly kind of a fringe thing, like a couple of people are into rubber, maybe there's a rubber manufacturer, and now, if you think about how huge rubber is, mir is a major event. Everyone's been asking me recently if I'm going and there's rubber everywhere around the world. So what was really minor then became really big now. In the same vein, he talks about animal play, and that was hilarious for me because when I was coming out there was a lot of talk about animal play. I don't know why, I don't know why. I just remember the Bardex, which is a particular brand of enema equipment. It just cropped up in a lot of pornographic stories. I know no one into enema play today. I never hear about it. So it's really fascinating. It's very curious how some elements started very minor and are now so huge, and some elements that were very huge then are minor and almost disappeared.

Speaker 1:

So, beyond these curious elements, beyond the things that remain true, beyond the things we should let go of, the core message, the reason I was most excited to talk about Townsend was to talk about the things we should recover, the things that he talks about that are so poignant and poignantly useful to us here in this historical moment. And the most important of those is that it is very clear from reading Townsend's book that the leather uniform was not central. What was central to the community was the outlaw biker. The outlaw biker and this made enormous sense because the book is filled with these anecdotes of the police raiding bars, of the police arresting people. Townsend talks about the advocacy organizations he's a part of that are doing legal advocacy for people.

Speaker 1:

So we were not really eroticizing and fetishizing the leather uniform. I think about this for a couple reasons. I know so many young leather people who are so eager to get their quote-unquote formals, and by that what they really mean is a leather uniform, quote-unquote formals, and by that what they really mean is a leather uniform. And if we think about the community as it circulates today, the central figure of the leather community tends to be the leather cop, the leather uniform. And that was great, that was fine. Now, in my memory, that really exploded in the late 1990s. That makes sense historically. By then a lot of our rights, a lot of our basic existence was, I'm not going to say, secured, it was not being harassed. I would say it was a time when the cops weren't raiding bars and so we could shift our erotic focus. That's my memory of the community. That happened in the late 1990s.

Speaker 1:

But today obviously there's a lot of resistance to state authority, to systemic structures of oppression, and at the heart of that is often the image of a uniform. So what if we didn't have the leather uniform as the central image to our community? Instead, what if we went back and recovered the outlaw biker? And I think that notion of the not just the biker, the outlaw biker and I think that's really worth recovering. And because for Townsend it's not just an aesthetic, it's not just an image, it is a practice. Not that he was a biker, I think he talks about, I think at some point he's maybe riding around in a convertible, but not that he was a biker, but that he was politically active and really working against homophobia, working against state repression. And so leather was not just erotic identity, it was political defiance. And this might be a historical moment, certainly here in my local context, but I think around the world. This might be a historical moment for us to recenter on the outlaw biker with that outlaw emphasis, to really use this as a place to resist.

Speaker 1:

Now, I'm not disparaging leather uniforms. I'm not saying we shouldn't wear them. I have a closet full of them. I enjoy my leather uniforms. But it is a way of saying that, especially if you are so politically sensitive to the currents of power that the uniform is really offensive to you, there is an option and the option is you know, langlitz is the premier manufacturer of leather. It is top of the line, it is the Rolls Royce and everyone uses it. If you look at pictures of Folsom Europe, it's a sea of Langlitz. Everyone's in Rangers, everyone's in competition breeches, everyone's wearing Langlitz as part of their leather uniform. But Langlitz is biker leather. That means we can recover the outlaw biker and still keep our langlets. I'm happy about that.

Speaker 1:

One of the ways I'm trying to manifest this in my own aesthetic and practice is I've recently become very interested in motocross pants from the 70s. These are emerging out of the biker community. Obviously, motocross is a little bit different, but what I like about them is much like uniform breeches. They are designed to tuck into boots because you need the protection of the boot shaft when you're riding your motocross bike, and much like breeches, they feature padding in different areas, and what I find in breeches is they have very sexy hip padding, not just the knee padding that we usually see. So I'm actually working on getting a pair of motocross pants made. I found a used pair on eBay from the seventies and I'm having them recreated because for me it's a way of beginning to recenter the biker but also being able to tuck my pants into boots so that I can wear my tall boots. In Townsend it's all chaps leather pants and those would have gone over the boots. There's not really a lot of talk about boots as a fetish, or even tall boots, so that's one of the ways I'm trying to manifest the outlaw biker in my own practices by shifting some of my leather purchases in ways that respect the overall aesthetic I like, ie tuck things into boots but also de-center Not get rid of. For me personally, not get rid of the uniform, but de-center it.

Speaker 1:

You know, one of the other key things that might be worth recovering from Townsend is the accessibility of identity. In Townsend's day, leather didn't require langlets. It didn't require really expensive gear, really boots and a jacket, pair of jeans and you're ready, you're set. Oh, and a belt. Obviously you need a belt because that often becomes a tool of play. Townsend is looking at a community that is fully operational without the large structural apparatus we've created of all this leather restraints and hoods and leather straight jackets and leather sleep sacks, and for Townsend it's a leather thong like a small strip of leather string, essentially a pair of boots and a bladder full of beer piss and you're ready to go.

Speaker 1:

I think that notion of accessibility is important because of the financial pressures that a lot of people are facing. Important because of the financial pressures that a lot of people are facing. Here is a community where you didn't need super expensive gear to be part of the community. You needed simply the basics, and I would think we might want to recover that as well. We might recover, in addition, the kind of community care that Townsend exhibits, that there was a lot of legal defense, there was a lot of solidarity, there was a real sense that survival depended on protecting one another. This is a community at risk, constantly under assault, constantly with people trying to exterminate it, and it banded together to protect its own, and I think that is a message we need. I'm not saying it's a simple message, particularly when we intersect that with the white cis gayness of Townsend's community right, that the people who were banding together were white cis gay men and not the leather women and not the trans leather folk. So I'm not saying it's an easy translation to make, but in this political environment, I think it's important for us to think about how to protect our own and what that looks like. It's a conversation worth having, and I don't think it's an easy conversation because I think our community is much more aware of the lines and fault lines of privilege, but it's a conversation worth having.

Speaker 1:

Some additional observations I have for you on Townsend. One of the things that's really useful about it is that he explodes this myth of a monolithic old guard, which is something we talked about in the last episode, this myth of a monolithic old guard, which is something we talked about in the last episode. What's clear from Townsend's book is that leather was never a uniform monolithic practice and that the practices differed by city and by region. So he talks about the difference between East Coast leather and West Coast leather, but he also talks about the difference between LA leather and San Francisco leather. And so here we have this living document from that time in history that shows to us, that gives us evidentiary proof, that there was no monolithic culture, there were no monolithic set of rules. In fact, leather was very much a lived thing that varied based on who was practicing it and where they were practicing it. And so we also, because we're looking at the 1972 and the 1997 edition, we see that not only is it this kind of patchwork, but it is a patchwork that changes over time, so we get to see how some of the norms of this community change.

Speaker 1:

You know, Townsend was really an ethnographer. He sent out a survey to a bunch of people because he wanted to collect data. And he's not recording laws, he's recording practices. That's important. He is not recording laws, he's recording practices. Now, when everyone does the same practice, the visual effect of that is that it is a law, but there are no written rules. There are no laws in Townsend's book. Instead, it is that culture in motion and we get a snapshot of it. So that means for us today, there is no single right way to do leather.

Speaker 1:

That is a lesson we want to recover, re-recover from Townsend and Hold, and it allows us this freedom from notions of the old guard and monolithic ways of behavior, monolithic rules around leather. So, as much as there's stuff we should get rid of, as long as there's stuff that's still true, as long as there's stuff, you know, while there's also stuff that's really very curious, there's some key elements I think we should recover and recenter from Townsend, including the aesthetics of the community, including the accessibility of gear, including protecting our own, and then including this notion that leather is never a monolithic thing. And you know, while he does absolutely omit things like polyamory, he omits real sense of leather family, he omits inclusivity. He omits a lot of things, but part of what that does is show us what we had to invent across time. We invented households, we invented leather family. We made leather relationships work, and for Townsend they really didn't. He couldn't imagine how they worked, but we make them work.

Speaker 1:

So this is a complicated book. At the end of the day, there are parts of it that just do not ring true, but there's so much of it that is really important for us to think about. There was so much that I connected to that I didn't expect to connect to, and so I think reading it is this really interesting, fascinating adventure, and I invite you to get the book. And if you aren't able to get it not everyone has access to all the resources of the world or all the money in the world If you can't get it, at least take this podcast away as an understanding of some of the lessons that that book contains that we can carry forward. And that is my kind of explication of the Leather Man's Handbook. It's incomplete, you know.

Speaker 1:

I was reading this one chapter at a time over months, and there are probably parts of it that I was chuckling at while I was reading it that I had forgotten. There were parts of it, that many parts of it, that I found offensive. I didn't read any of the porn this time, I will say so. I skipped Every time he got to one of his porn stories. I just skipped over it because it was more. This time I was more interested in the community content. Really interesting, because obviously when I was younger, late 1980s of the last millennium I was reading it and really the only thing I remember paying attention to was the porn. And this time God, such a different context. The only thing I was really interested in was the historical functioning of the community. So isn't that interesting? And that's my take on Townsend.

Speaker 1:

I hope you found it useful and I hope, if you've read it, if you've got other insights of things that you connected with or you found horrible or you feel we should recover, share them with me. They can also always crop up in a later episode or in an Ask Edge. But that's it for now, thank you. That's it for now. Thank you, since I have some time left in this episode, I thought I might provide a few updates of what's going on in my life, especially since I don't imagine I'll be returning to the interlude episodes, simply because there's only so many episodes I can crank out in a month and I'm not sure what I've shared in the last episode about my personal life. So some of this may be new news, some of this may be new old news. I'm not sure what news this is at all.

Speaker 1:

The big thing that's going on in my life is that I've started antidepressant, I've started Wellbutrin, and it has to do with depression and anxiety. And the anxiety I have is from the world, because it is very, very anxious out there at the moment. And the depression is directly related to my life as a single person and the kind of horrors of having to date or not even being able to date because you can't find anyone to date. That's a situational depression, meaning if I suddenly had a boyfriend I wouldn't be depressed. However, I've been in that situation for so long that I do believe it started to actually alter my brain chemistry in ways that could be addressed and supported through medication. So for the first time I actually went to a psychiatrist Normally. In the past. I've done antidepressants I think at least four times during my life and I would just go to my primary doctor and she would prescribe something and that was it. But I wanted someone a little more expert this time. So I am on extended release Welbutrin and have been for a couple of weeks and I think it's helping. You know, the worst part of being on antidepressants is waiting for them to really kick in and although there's a little bit of a boost, knowing that help is on the way, there's still this sort of carrying the weight of the emotional landscape until it begins to alter. I'm starting to see it alter in some ways and I am happy for that.

Speaker 1:

I am slowly orienting myself to Palm Springs and Palm Springs Leather Pride, which is at the end of October. I will be celebrating my 55th birthday there. So I've never been to Palm Springs. I've never been to Palm Springs Leather Pride. I'm looking forward to that trip. A little bit of anxiety just because there's so many people I want to see and only so many days and I can get overwhelmed by events and I'm not entirely sure how it's all going to play out, but I'm still looking forward to the getaway.

Speaker 1:

I'm also trying very hard to save up vacation days because I would like to get to Europe next year. At first I was thinking Berlin, then I was thinking Spain, and I'm hoping to do Spain and Berlin, maybe another country as well. I'd like to do at least two weeks in Europe three if I can find the vacation days and so I'm trying to be very conservative about what little trips I take and if it's a weekend trip I'm trying to not impact my leave time so that I can save all those days for something significant. And partly that's about going to Europe and seeing Europe and experiencing Europe, and partly it's about I do do a lot of weekend trips and they're exhausting, they don't actually renew me at all. So I want a vacation that is extended enough that I can just sort of catch up on sleep and relax and unwind and disconnect and recharge, and most of my vacations are not that. Even Palm Springs. I'm going to be there, I think, for five days, which isn't a huge amount of time, and it's going to be filled with a lot of stuff. Some of it will fill the well, but a lot of it is also a constant expenditure of energy. So, hopefully, europe in 2026, if I make it there.

Speaker 1:

I will let all of you know I am leaning into artificial intelligence more and more, and you know it's curious. Artificial intelligence, more and more. And you know it's curious. I wasn't really on the AI boat to start, but a friend of mine in San Antonio kind of has been using it and kind of turned me on to how good it's gotten and I started off very experimentally using it for some tasks at work. I started off very experimentally using it for some tasks at work and it was really wow, that was really handy. And then I asked it to help with my dating life and, shockingly, it had some really good suggestions. Now it hasn't resulted in any dates, but I'm really using this as a tool to reflect on my dating journey, to make decisions about where to invest energy, to shape the text I present to the world, and I have also used AI to tweak my workouts and give me new workout routines.

Speaker 1:

All of this feels hmm, I have very mixed feelings about this. I will say that it seems like a really useful tool. What's curious is I was all so I was sort of lukewarm on AI and then I was all about AI and I had to do this thing at work and it got something really obvious, really wrong. It had two dates that's like, oh, you can do it on this Tuesday and Wednesday. And I'm like, oh great, and I presented it and it turns out those dates are actually Wednesday and Thursday. I'm like, well, how do you get actual dates on a calendar wrong? And if you get that wrong, what else are you getting wrong? So my entire relationship with AI is evolving and I don't know that will be interesting to see. It is beginning to intersect my leather life, right, like AI knows all about my leather life. In my thread on dating it really we talked about oh my God, we talked about. I have shared with the AI some of the things that make my journey, my dating journey, complicated, so that's going to be curious.

Speaker 1:

Also, full disclosure. I did have it. Help me organize the script and the thing is I don't use AI to do all the lifting. I use it to do the initial lift and then I fix what's wrong. So I start off by saying, okay, tell me about Larry Townsend's Leatherman's Handbook and it gave me a bunch of stuff and some of it was just dead wrong and I knew it was dead wrong, but I also knew the things I wanted to do in this episode. So I was able to be really directive and say, make sure you incorporate this element and let's do a section called this. And here are three things. I noticed what else, and so it was really more of an assistant than the artificial intelligence. It was really helping me organize my thoughts and kind of group them, and hey did a pretty good job. I think this is a good episode. I don't know what's going to go forward in my future with AI. We'll see.

Speaker 1:

I am recording this on Saturday, september 13th. It is a rare weekend when I don't have plans and it's curious. There are some people in town that I saw last night at the Rubber Social at the Eagle and part of me wants to spend more time with people and with these people and getting to know them. But I also feel my introvert battery running very low. So it'll be curious to see today if I end up doing things with people or if I just end up being alone in a beautifully nurturing, regenerative way. Next weekend I have plans, the weekend after that my DC boy is coming and then we're in October. So this is my last chance to sort of quietly, silently breathe for this month and I might take advantage of it. We'll see.

Speaker 1:

It's actually those are some of the little hints that the antidepressant is starting to work, that I'm starting to think about connecting more and reconfiguring the line between being alone and isolating, right Like there's a part of me as an introvert where being alone is really renewing but there can slide into a kind of isolation that keeps me from connecting the others and therefore adds to the depression. And also, you know, I'm not going to find a boyfriend sitting in my living room watching TV, so got to get out there a little bit. And that's kind of what's going on in my life. The world is terrifying. I am not watching the news.

Speaker 1:

I am doing my best to nurture my spirit every day and I hope, I hope you are doing the same. I hope you are keeping your head above water and I hope that you are finding little points of joy, because those are the things that keep us going. Joy is the spark, I think, that feeds hope and hope is the thing that keeps me going. So I hope all of that, I joyfully hope all of that for you and I will talk to you next time. And that's it for this episode. Thank you so much for joining me. Please consider subscribing, or you can send feedback to edge at full cow dot show. As always, may your leather journey be blessed.