Wild Souls
Welcome to the Wild Souls podcast. I’m your host, Cat Mansfield. Together, we will return to our wild instincts; reconnect to our body, to our connection to something greater, to the Truth of our divinity + infinite potential. We are here to have the raw conversations about all aspects of this human experience- the incredibly painful and the unbelievably pleasurable - the dark and the light, the death and the rebirth. This podcast is about holding space for the whole spectrum of human experience as we navigate each of our unique + divine healing journeys and step deeper into our soul’s calling. These conversations are meant to be a resource for deep self inquiry, a guidepost in cultivating a deep, unwavering self love, and ultimately, empower you to create a life so on purpose, so aligned with your authenticity, you can’t help but embody your wildest soul. Lets dive in.
Wild Souls
61. Embodied Pleasure: Pleasure Practice, Sex Magic, & Manifestation w/ Jenn Wodtke
Today, I am sharing my conversation with Jenn Wodtke - a seasoned orgasm & pleasure coach. We dive into the transformative power of pleasure by, first, redefining our understanding of pleasure, and then, moving beyond its conventional sexual context to a broader life-enhancing experience. What if pleasure were available in every single moment - no matter what emotion we may be experiencing in that given moment.
Jen discusses her own personal exploration challenging societal norms that prioritize sacrifice over self-indulgence and invites you to discover how embracing pleasure can lead to personal growth & empowerment.
We then explore how we can utilize sex magic as a manifestation practice; harnessing the energy at peak sensation to call in and create what you desire. We encourage you to embrace pleasure as a daily practice, challenging traditional narratives around femininity, and stepping into your power as the high priestess of your life.
I hope you enjoy this episode <3
How to stay in touch with Jenn:
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/jennwodtke
Insta: https://www.instagram.com/jennwodtke/
Interested in being a guest on the podcast? Send me a DM :)
Follow along on instagram <3
Welcome to the Holistic Hotties podcast. I'm your host, kat Mansfield. I'm a yoga and meditation teacher who's traveled around the world in search of all things healing and true. In searching for healing, in searching for truth, I uncovered the answers to all my ponderings. I grounded into peace amidst the chaos, I found myself. This podcast is about breathing life into who you already are. It's about remembering the truth of your power, the truth of your perfection. In each episode, we'll talk about the beliefs, the self-imposed limitations and the mindsets that are keeping us small, and how to cultivate safety in our bodies so that we can feel safe enough to be bigger, to take up more space and to truly and deeply love ourselves. On this journey together, day after day, we're choosing intention. We're choosing growth. We're choosing to dissolve our veils and breathe into our most authentic and thus most radiant selves. We're choosing to feel good naked let's dive in. To feel good naked, let's dive in. Hello, and welcome back to another episode of Holistic Hotties.
Speaker 1:This week, I am sharing a conversation that I had with Jen Wodke. Jen is an orgasm and pleasure coach who believes that when we experience our orgasm and pleasure to the fullest, we move into the divine and become fully empowered in all areas of life. No matter where you are on your pleasure journey anywhere from pre-orgasmic to having consistent orgasms with a partner she can help you tap deeper into your pleasure, power and divinity. We talk so much about this idea of pleasure and we start with really desexualizing pleasure and noticing how we can implement a pleasure practice in our day-to-day lives. Again, that has nothing to do with necessarily sexuality, and then we move into how we can transfer this practice into our sexuality and how we can begin to feel safe enough to fully be in our bodies to feel all the pleasure that is available to us in any given moment.
Speaker 1:I absolutely loved having this conversation. Pleasure and pleasure practices and just this idea of really choosing for every moment, to be fully in my pleasure again, despite whatever emotion I'm feeling in that moment, has been such a huge and influential part of my practice recently. So I hope you enjoy this conversation and let's dive in. Hello Jen, welcome to the podcast. How are you doing today?
Speaker 2:I'm great. Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thank you for being here. I'm so excited about this conversation. Pleasure is a conversation that just keeps circling me at the moment, and it's been such a big part of my practices recently, and so I'm just really it's funny how it works when it's just timely that this conversation is what we're having today. So will you start with telling us a little bit about your journey into this work with pleasure?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I had sort of a long winding journey in. I was quite a late bloomer sexually and you know I got into marriage in hindsight too quick, but at the time you always think you're in love and this really will last forever. That marriage lasted less than two years and that was kind of one of the big changes in my life. I came out of that marriage and went, hmm, I feel like they lied to me about relationships Like what else did they lie about? And I had this really strong desire to like just explore sexually, like I felt freedom in all areas of my life. So that was a major, major period of change in my life and that was sort of when I started exploring sexuality.
Speaker 2:I dabbled with different types of relationships. I was in some open relationships. I went to some swingers parties and things, and it's sort of from there started to kind of just grow in me that like there's something really important about our pleasure and how we express ourselves through our sexuality and I started reading anything I could get my hands on. I started taking workshops and just this conviction grew that like I needed to explore this deeper for myself and what it actually meant in the world. And yeah, and then, as I got training as a coach, I also started to really realize like that, fundamentally, allowing people to live and explore their pleasure and their relationships and whatever their sexualities is really about personal power. And I think that's when what kind of massive changes started happening inside me. I realized that our pleasure and our sexuality is this, it's a portal to transform our lives. It's just such a this powerful life force. So it's been a fun, fun journey.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thank you for sharing that. I I'm excited to dive into well both of these aspects pleasure in and of itself and then the way that pleasure and sexuality play and dance together. But first, yeah, where I want to start is is really diving into pleasure and what that means, like what pleasure even is for somebody, and all the different ways that we can start to experience pleasure, not just sexually, in our lives.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that was the first thing I was going to say. I think it's important to note that I mean, I definitely work primarily in sexuality, but pleasure is also, I think, much, much bigger than that. And when you kind of zoom out a little bit and look at our society, the roots of our society in the West is very puritanical. We really value sacrifice, just sacrifice in and of itself.
Speaker 1:We sacrifice for our children, we sacrifice for children.
Speaker 2:We sacrifice for jobs, like if you eat a delicious piece of chocolate cake, a lot of women are like, oh, not necessarily just women, but a lot of people will be like, okay, I gotta go to the gym tomorrow to work that off. Like there's always this balance and that we have to. Um, it's so ingrained, so deep inside of us, a lot of us in our culture, that like we have to, if not outright, punish ourselves, but we have to, like, make up for this pleasurable thing we did. And it's like you know, that's a really limiting mindset in my opinion, and I think that bleeds into our sexuality as well like we don't really value excuse, like we don't really value excuse me, we don't really value pleasure just for the sake of pleasure, and I think that's really key. I think that's what it is Like.
Speaker 2:I really do think we're here for a good time Not a long time, you know, like and we have these bodies that can experience such amazing pleasure like receiving and giving, and why we have so much cultural crap around. That is just.
Speaker 1:I think it's tragic that I teach at recently was on her Instagram and she was talking about this phrase guilty pleasure in our society and it opened up this whole conversation with my partner and some of my other friends just about how ingrained it is in us that pleasure is associated with guilt, and she was referring to it as she was eating ice cream. She she was like why can't I just be in the pleasure part? Like why do I also have to feel guilty for being and experiencing pleasure? And it was such an interesting thought to bring to the table and such an interesting reframe around just how ingrained that really is in our bodies.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've started saying I don't feel guilty about any of my pleasures, like where does that come from? And I think that's an interesting question, right, it's like, where does that come from? And why have so many of us taken it, taking that on? And I think we can't. I think it's, like I said, it's so ingrained that we can't differentiate inside of our bodies, inside of our systems, that I'm just you know, I'm eating ice cream versus I'm having sex with my partner, like, if you can't let go of that, guilt and shame is also really deeply associated with that as well. You're just, you're cutting yourself off, unconsciously cutting yourself off unconsciously. Most of us don't want consciously to be doing that, but the result is the same that we're really not allowing ourselves to fully experience what humans can experience in our lifetimes in terms of pleasure. And I think, again, it just that's a tragedy to me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, totally. And how you do one thing is how you do everything.
Speaker 1:So, I think approaching pleasure from the perspective or the lens of seeking it and receiving it in everyday life, then is a portal to pleasure in our sexuality, because pleasure, or sexuality in general, can be a little bit of an intimidating, you know, facet for somebody. There's a lot of shame in our society, there's a lot of taboo. A lot of people grew up in households where sex was not something that you talk about, and so I think noticing where pleasure exists in our day-to-day life and really opening ourselves up to receive, that is such a, you know, digestible and tangible place to start in our lives.
Speaker 2:Yeah, totally, totally yeah, and I think, like you said, sex can be intimidating and I don't. I don't think that has to be everybody's way in if they're not in the mindset. I think the way in is through the body.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so tell us more about you know, I guess, the link between fully being in your body, so you know an embodied self, and experiencing pleasure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I find in my own experience what I see with clients is that once you start to get into the body and I think this is where people can sometimes struggle, because the truth is this is hard work, it's, I find it pleasurable. But fundamentally, going in and retraining our body and reconnecting with all those parts of ourselves is really really deep, hard work, work. But once we do that, once we like, tune into the body and we open up and we start, I almost think of it as like you're taking the lid off of the well where we shoved down all of you know the messages, consciously and unconsciously like there's a lot of, there's a lot of gunk in there. And once we open that, because we want to be in our bodies so that we can open up to experiencing pleasure, everything comes. And I think that's where it can be scary. I mean, I've uncovered some things about myself where I've gone. I had no idea that was there.
Speaker 2:Once you can look at all of these things and look at those parts of yourselves, like I have parts of myself that I'm like oh that's. I feel shame about that part of me, I don't like that part. But if you can get to a place where you can just accept that that switch and you're in the body and open to pleasure and you can deal with everything that you've released. It is so liberating, not only on the body level but also on the sexual level, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, like it's so amazing. I was doing a pleasure practice with a yoni egg yesterday and I thought it would be this light, easy practice and I find when I'm doing any touchless pleasure work, which I really love, it's such a different flavor of pleasure. So I'd inserted this egg and we wasn't doing anything massive with movements, but just tuning in and I was having a terrible day and I think pleasure is a good, great antidote. It's like I'm having a terrible day and I think pleasure is a good, great antidote.
Speaker 2:It's like I'm having a terrible day. I feel awful about myself. But tuning into my body and like just this like I can't even describe it this like rolling like a cauldron, like it was a really bubbling pleasure and I just started giggling because it's like, oh my God, you know like I'm having a rough time. I was having a rough day. That day I was like everything sucks, but like I can come back to my body. I always have my body. We always have our bodies. I always have this well of pleasure that I can go into anytime I want and use it to heal. And I felt after that pleasure practice. I felt like connected and like relaxed and I was like, okay, I'm just going to let these crappy feelings from the day just dissipate, like fade away, because I can have this experience anytime I want.
Speaker 1:Yeah, beautiful. And I think, for anybody who, any of us who've experienced trauma big T, little t that journey back into our body fully is one that takes, you know, time and devotion and courage because, like you were saying, those feelings can be overwhelming as you start to uncover the emotions that have been living in our body for, you know, maybe our whole lives but have never been felt. And then you start to feel them. It's like whoa, this is so scary. At times it's almost like it's going to take over, like take over everything. And so I think, you know, giving yourself grace as you maybe start to implement just that awareness around how, in your body, you are and starting to come in, going to, you know, step away from this practice for a minute and I'll come back when I'm like re-energized. And so I just wanted to, you know, say that for anybody who's listening.
Speaker 1:And then, like this talk of pleasure practice, I want to dive into pleasure practice and again starting like in our day-to-day lives, because I've really been implementing this recently, like asking myself, where does pleasure exist in this moment? And like I'll be on a walk and I'm like, okay, the color of those leaves is so beautiful and so pleasurable, or just like dropping into the way that my heel touches the earth and then moves onto the ball of my foot, like that little awareness and tuning in and really being in my body feels so pleasurable. And then there's, you know, obviously more like intimate practices with our body, whether it be yoni eggs or, I guess, any kind of like touching of your body and really tuning into the sensations that are there. But talk us, talk to us a little bit about your journey with pleasure practice and what you see with your clients as they start to implement pleasure practices.
Speaker 2:Everybody's journey is so unique, um, um, which is what's so beautiful about it? Uh, and I do want to, uh, thank you for bringing up the uh, self-compassionate piece and I think I also want to really reiterate to anyone listening like that safety is so important, like creating that sense of safety in your body and just being self-compassionate. Um, and for anybody that has any sort of trauma or wounding, like you can always stop, you can always. You never have to go past your boundaries, right?
Speaker 2:you can just sort of like dance up to the edge and then pull away and and we take a lot of time for for self-care after an integration in whatever way any individual needs and in the pleasure practices it just.
Speaker 2:You know, I started this journey because, specifically because I wanted more pleasure, I was like I know, there it's almost impossible to do pleasure practices and not find yourself more connected to whatever you believe in God or the universe or the goddess, whatever because it's such, even if you're being. It's such an impersonal, intense, personal experience and if that is with yourself, I find you create deeper connection with yourself and it becomes a meditation, it becomes the spiritual practice and there's any number of pleasure practices people can do. They can start.
Speaker 2:What I would suggest to anyone listening who's not sure where to start is really simply starting with like a body meditation where, like you said, you kind of where do I feel pleasure in my body now? And you just scan head to toe and you notice what's alive, what you might feel alive, what you might feel, paying attention if sometimes emotions can be associated with any particular parts of our body or sensation and just noticing that and then taking it deeper into pleasure, you just put your awareness on wherever you're feeling pleasure, generally the genitals, but not always. But for the purposes of this explanation, I encourage people to focus on their genitals and just really like you're tuning everything out. And just what can I feel inside of my genitals when I'm deliberately paying attention, when I'm deciding to give that part of my body that a lot of us ignore, I'm giving it attention. Now what happens and what wakes up?
Speaker 2:when, I give it attention. And I also want to say for people there's a lot of people who will do that for the first time and won't feel anything, which is totally normal. Numbness is a sensation, numbness is an experience, and it is where a lot of us start this pleasure journey. So for anybody that's listening and has experienced that, it's a totally normal part of the process. But you can bring yourself out of that numbness.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think so many people doing that exercise would probably find themselves in numbness and I think a lot of I'm actually. I'm curious why you think so many of us are completely cut off from pleasure no-transcript.
Speaker 2:Sexual for women can feel very scary. At a young age I had experiences, like I'm sure many of your listeners do, when I was 14, getting cat called as I was walking down the street by a car full of men. That is scary, that makes us feel unsafe, and so there's a. How many millions of micro aggressions like this have women experienced? And so they start to their brain unconsciously start starts to protect them from, from all of that right? So we want to feel safe and safe is not. We want to feel safe and safe is not being overtly sexual, not, um, doing anything that might cause attention, and this can manifest in many, many different ways. But we start to turn all of that off and we start to like, and sometimes even consciously, we start to numb that like oh, it feels unsafe to be looking too sexual. Ooh, it feels unsafe if my peers think I'm a slut. So I'm going to like shove down, shove down, shove down my sexuality, shove down these emotions. And, as we talked about earlier, some of these sexual emotions can be scary to feel and experience when you're a teenager and your hormones are doing all these new crazy things, and so we get in this habit of numbing and shoving everything down to protect ourselves. But what happens is we cannot selectively numb. We numb everything, we shut down everything and we often don't really realize that it's happened.
Speaker 2:When I first started doing my own studies in sexuality, I came across a coach who was saying this like so many women are numb. And I was like I'm not numb, not me, I'm liberal and open. And as I got further along in my own progression and I look back and I go, I was. I was not completely, but I had numbed myself out to a very large extent and just didn't even realize. So I had my own work to do to go back in and say, okay, why did I do that? What is my story? What is my journey? Why, what was I needing to not feel?
Speaker 1:yeah, yeah, thank you for sharing that, and I think there's so much to be said, for you know everything you touched on when it comes to, you know, trying to protect ourselves and and having existed in a society where, yeah, our safety depends on on not attracting too much attention in certain circumstances, and then that's really been ingrained in us, and even just really the way that we've been oriented around sex and pleasure being for the man was such a pivotal part in my sexual journey was deciding that I my pleasure is just as important as my partner's pleasure or the other person I'm engaging with, and starting to unapologetically prioritize that pleasure and unapologetically express that pleasure and really letting go of any of the archetypes that I was trying to fulfill in the way of being performative sexually.
Speaker 1:Or, you know, there's so much that women take on and that's at play in our sexuality, and so really devoting that time and that practice to uncovering all of the layers that are there that we might not be totally aware of, that we most likely are not aware of that, are playing into our ability to receive pleasure, to be fully present in our bodies and pleasure that's around us, and especially pleasure sexually, and and really allow for ourselves to experience that kind of ecstasy it it's you know, to get there. We also have to allow ourselves to experience the opposite, the, the you know grief, the pain, the all the quote unquote negative emotions. We have to feel safe on both ends of the spectrum.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's yeah, so many things you said in there. Um, first, is you know, if I had a dollar for every time I had a woman say, oh, I don't orgasm during partnered sex, but I still really enjoy myself, men aren't doing that, men aren't. That's not men's experience, like there's still a massive orgasm gap. Um, totally, and, and I think too, um, you know, being able to say fully yes to your pleasure, I think we I knew you were talking about emotions and I'm gonna get to that in a second but also just consent.
Speaker 2:Like, if we can never say, if we can't fully say no to anything that we don't want and women are sometimes women sometimes really struggle with this because we've been conditioned to be nice and to defer to men and we manage their emotions and we do all of that emotional labor so if we can never fully say no, we can never fully say yes, can never fully say yes, right, you can't right and it's. It is the same with, um, I think, our internal emotions, like you said I hate calling them negative emotions too, but I, for lack of a better phrase, I don't have a better phrase but if we cannot, and it goes back to going in and doing that work being in the body, if we cannot go in and look and experience, with, like all of our shame, our lack of self-worth, we can't experience the heights of ecstasy like you can't.
Speaker 2:most of us live in the middle and for a lot of us that's fine, and people, that people there are people that are comfortable doing that. That's what, that's how they want to live their life and that is absolutely, totally fine. That is a happy life.
Speaker 2:But if you want to go higher on the pleasure scale and realize all the infinite cosmic pleasure that is available to you you have to, and this has been my experience and it sucks sometimes, but you have to be able to go in and look at all your own little whatever they are. I have a shame monster who makes an appearance on a less regular basis but definitely pops up, and I uncovered in my own coaching sessions with an amazing, gifted coach. I uncovered, much to my shock, like I was in shock after this session to realize that I my whole life had this massive, massive, deep belief that I wasn't worthy and that shook me because I had created this persona for myself, that I was, you know, this really confident, accomplished woman and I didn't have any self worth problems. But my ego had bricked up that deep, deep, deep piece, like so deep that I didn't even notice it was there and I was like I sat in that session once I realized that I just sat in shock and like my whole life flashed before my eyes and I was like, oh, this opportunity, I didn't take this thing, I didn't try, like all of these things that I didn't go for because of that, and I got to that place through working with my pleasure.
Speaker 2:So it's, it's it. It's a. It can be a scary journey. It can be a surprising journey, but it's so so, so amazing.
Speaker 1:It's like as you experience more pleasure, you ascend higher into that spectrum of feeling. It's like you're the equal and opposite is the potential exists for that as well. So it's like by experiencing one, you're creating space for that similar emotion on the other end of the spectrum to come through or to be uncovered, or equal magnitude, I guess, of emotion. Yeah, yeah, I've experienced something similar and the unworthiness wound is one that affects so many people and I think the majority of us, at some point on our journey, would say that they believe that they were exempt from them. You know, they were exempt from the group of people who experienced that wound.
Speaker 1:And then as we become, as we you know, progress on this embodiment journey and we start to really be in our body for some of our triggers and feel safe enough to go back and see what the root of those triggers are, why there are such big emotions happening. It's a seemingly small, you know, catalyst. Then we get to see all of the times earlier on our journey that we were operating from that place of low self-worth and again, it requires compassion and it requires that safety to feel it. And something that you said that I loved was we can't experience a full like fuck yes in our body. If we're not okay with with communicating a full fuck no.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I love that because that's also something that I've that's been, I guess, in the last couple of years of my sexual embodiment journey is really feeling comfortable to express my no. And feeling comfortable Cause I think for a lot of women there's fear that's attached to the no. It's like, oh well, if I can't give him sex or give them sex, then uh, you know, and almost I guess what follows and like, then, what else am I? What else am I here to do? And it's such a such a oh deeply embedded narrative that society's given woman and so so really being in my body for my like, I am not there right now. I'm feeling introspective or I'm feeling this sort of way I'm not there and I'm and I'm not open to getting there at this exact moment and and being like and I am a fully worthy, desirable, beautiful, like partner and that's it, period.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you know there's nothing wrong with this is as far as I want to go right now, or I don't want to push this and I'm fine with that. Like that is absolutely valid. That's part of the journey. That's you living in self-worthiness by recognizing that this is all that's available to me right now.
Speaker 2:This is all that I want to do and that's totally, totally fine. And I think I think you know that for me, that fuck no is. I'm gaining more understanding of it. And you know, I was talking to a coach spiritual spiritual coach and we were talking about this and we're talking about in terms of alignment, we're using the word alignment and I was saying, oh, you know, I do have these moments where I'm my body like jumps in and give me an answer. So the example was I had gone on this, I don't know, tinder or Bumble date. I can't remember which one. I think it was Bumble. So, you know, I walk in I think I was there first, and then the guy walks in a little bit later and I got an immediate like nope, I don't want to date this guy, like very clear from my body, like nope.
Speaker 2:And so what? The spiritual coach? She's like what did you do? And I'm like, well, I had to sit and have a drink. And she's like, did you? And I'm like, well, otherwise it's just super rude. So like this guy showed up, like don't I owe him a drink? She's like, do you? She's like you, you didn't want to date him, you had no sexual interest in him. She's like why did you feel that you were obligated to sit there for 30 minutes, other than you've been conditioned to be polite? And I was like what she's like you could have said? She's like you could say like hey, I've met you in person, the chemistry came on really strong for me and this isn't gonna work. She's like why couldn't you say that? I'm like because it's rude and it just like we went around in circles like that and you know, every time we'd start thinking about these strong no's. I think back to that and it's like I couldn't say no to sitting in a coffee shop for 30 minutes with this guy because I felt like I owed him.
Speaker 2:I don't know, and it was an interesting. It was an interesting, it still is. I still think of that all the time. It's an interesting exercise of and I mean I'm sure many women listening have had a similar experience right. With something like as low stakes. Right, there's no, I wasn't in no danger. We were in a public place. There was no yeah danger to me saying no other than I was going to feel like I was an impolite woman, like yeah no.
Speaker 1:I think that's so important to notice. I've definitely asked myself that question before and I guess the the only thing that I arrived at for myself when I was like really in the dating scene and I was going on lots of like first dates, you know, on the apps and stuff, and my thing was like being, I guess, getting to a place where I was super discerning with my no, because it's my immediate no, it's my immediate no in my body, because it's not like activating my trauma response or my trauma chemistry with like a fireworks kind of like. Oh, they're not available, that's why I want them, kind of thing, you know, like really getting to a place where I could discern. No, it's genuinely just like flatlining here and I'm very in my body and not and I'm like grounded and I'm not operating from a place of, you know, trauma response here or trauma bonding here, um, but when you're in that place and you're embodied and you're like, nope, it's a no, totally.
Speaker 1:I've been there also and it is such a that, that obligation, that feeling of obligation, that like assumed reciprocity of time, or, you know, when I was in my early 20s and like partying a lot, it's like, oh, they bought me a drink. That means I have to. Honestly, a lot of the times I was like give them sexual stuff because they bought me stuff and it's like this crazy, oh this. I mean I've done a lot of healing around that, but it's it's a very normal, unspoken reciprocity that a lot of women feel yeah, I get so.
Speaker 2:I've had men send drinks across the bar like as an opening and like this shot appears in front of me and I just get so. Now I get, just get so angry, I'm like I'm not drinking that, I don't want that and you know. And for me too, in those situations like when I zoom out, um, and it's like they bought me a five dollar drink, totally yeah. I owe them a thank you. If I want the drink, that's it like that's it yeah, yeah so.
Speaker 1:I love just this, like giving permission to women to well, first of all, deny the drink and then, second of all, if you would like to accept the drink or accept the whatever token of whatever they're giving you, then do so with the permission to be grateful and that's about it, if that's all you want to exchange. You know, and where I've also been really interested in using pleasure in my life is how it can be used as a force to manifest. So I kind of want to take us into more of the sex magic realm and let's start there. Will you talk to us about what sex magic is?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think my definition is fairly simple. It's simply being in tune with your body, harnessing that turn on, that life force, that pleasure, and then kind of just using it for whatever you want. Um, so I do. I have a membership program where we do some sex magic sessions. So, um, I've done things. Uh, I've used, we did a one month sex magic series actually, which is a bonus If anybody buys my book, you get it as a bonus of dreams and desires. So we spent a month using sex magic.
Speaker 2:So I guided them through their turn on and, you know, if people wanted to orgasm they could time it. And we went through this whole like uncovering your desires, uncovering your blockages, and we were doing this all in the context of self-pleasure. And then, you know, at the moment of orgasm, we sort of released the intention and we asked for what we wanted. And I love sex magic. It's so beautiful, you can do, you can use it for for anything. One of my first spontaneous moments I was actually just having a straight up masturbatory session. It was one of those ones. Like, I have no intention, I'm not, you know, I just want to have an orgasm, which is totally fine.
Speaker 2:I still do those, it's not? All, just like I'm gonna sit down and have this spiritual self-love sometimes it's like I'm just gonna rub one out yeah, which is what I was doing that day and, uh, as I had my orgasm, what came up was that I forgave the specific person in my life and I was actually annoyed.
Speaker 2:I was like, are you kidding me? I don't want to forgive them yet, they don't deserve forgiveness. But it came so spontaneously at that moment of release and so I kind of sat with it for a moment and I was like moment of release, and so I kind of sat with it for a moment and I was like it's true, it's true, like something happened in that masturbatory solo session where something uncorked, something released. That wasn't my intention, but I was like I have to look at this and then I realized that it was true. It still irritates me, though.
Speaker 1:But yeah, you're like, I was trying to be casual and then it turned spiritual. Just give me. Can I get a break? Come on, give me a break.
Speaker 2:So that's one of my favorite examples of how, if you're tuned into your body and tuned into your pleasure like, sometimes, sex magic can spontaneously happen. But, um, you can definitely use it for manifestation.
Speaker 2:And one thing I I told everybody that was in the dreams and desires group is like we can do these practices but if you don't take action and I think I want to make that clear because I think sometimes it can get lost manifestation without action is just fantasizing so beautiful but if you meld, if you meld if, if you use that energy and then you go out and take action toward whatever you're trying to accomplish or achieve, then it can be so, so powerful powerful Totally, and because I'm just so transfixed by the idea of sex magic and I also have been using it in my life for a while now I guess I go.
Speaker 1:I have little chapters where I'm using it more often or being much more intentional about the way that I touch myself and take myself to a point of release, and then other times where it's less intentional. Um, but there's just something so powerful of about the energy at our root and the energy there being awoken and, you know, really tantalized and and stirred and and you know what's the word Stoked with intention towards something that you're creating. And, yeah, I'm curious if you have any like experiences in your life. Or, and honestly, honestly, if you could make it just like as clear as possible for people as to how they can manifest with sex magic.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, so, um, my favorite experience from my life I was at a retreat, a woman's retreat. It was the week that Roe v Wade was struck down, so we've been doing all this amazing female energy work and then we got the news and like everything, just like dropped the energy just dropped, like the mood just dropped.
Speaker 2:So our ritual that night was a sex magic ritual, and so there was an altar set up in the middle and there was 80 of us, so we all like spread our yoga mats around the rooms with, so like our, if you wanted to open your legs, but like leg, like we were facing the altar, and she just led us through. It was, you know, I think the first, one of the first things she said is like they are scared, they're trying to control this, take away our rights. Because they are scared, they're trying to control this, take away our rights because they are terrified of a group of women like us getting together in this room and getting in touch with, like the divine feminine that is in every single one of our bodies, that is, in this room, and every single woman. And they're like men have always been terrified and tried to control this, and women used to have these rituals and so that was just really like got us all bubbling. And then the phrase she said after that was we are the daughters and granddaughters of the witches that they couldn't kill.
Speaker 2:And I just went absolutely chills and yeah, and like the, it was electric in that room. It was so amazing and you know, everybody self-pleasured to whatever degree they felt comfortable with and she just led us through this pleasure practice and, um, my intention in that practice was definitely fuck you. Like it doesn't have to be this airy fairy, wonderful manifestation. Mine was fuck you. This is not acceptable, that you are controlling women's bodies, and I released this like rage in my sex magic practice that night through two orgasms at the altar as a middle finger to people who think people who think they can't that they should control women's bodies. Um, so that's, and yeah, it was just one of the most powerful experiences of my life. It was so that whole week, but that, specifically, that ritual, that sex magic ritual, was glorious yeah, it sounds for people at home.
Speaker 2:You don't have to um be naked in a group of 80 women.
Speaker 2:You can you could, though you could, you absolutely could um, but it's really, if you want to use sex magic, it's really using your pleasure in intentional ways. So the key thing, uh, I tell people in my sex magic sessions is that we want to set an intention. So what do you want to manifest? Are you trying to? I think there's kind of two big ways, right. Are you trying to release something out of your body? So we've used sex magic to release trauma, wounding, you know, residue from old lovers. You can do that release and you can also call in.
Speaker 2:So if you want to bring in love, connection, money it doesn't always have to be high vibe, right, like you can ask for money, right.
Speaker 2:And so you set that intention and then you begin to pleasure and you really I think it's most powerful when you create this reality in your mind for whatever it is that you are desiring to experience, or desiring to either call in or release, right, uh, begin to self-pleasure and just visualize yourself creating this wealth, if it's from a job or um, an inheritance or however you want money to come to you.
Speaker 2:You create that reality in your head as you continue to self-pleasure and you really the key is, you really want to let your body experience, like the mind can't help. It's so beautiful. The mind can create these experiences. The body doesn't know it's not real. So we're actually practicing, letting our body have the safety around this new experience, right? So you create this visual that you're going to come into this money as you continue to pleasure and then, at the moment of release although you don't have to, but if you orgasm, well and good, if not, you're just going to like release that pleasure that you've built up out into the universe. And then you visualize the universe infusing all of your energy with dollar, dollar bills. And then I like to visualize it like raining back down on me into my system, this like cosmic abundance that I've just asked for and received. So that would be sort of the simple process of creating a sex magic experience for yourself at home.
Speaker 1:Beautiful. I love that because you know we're visualizing, we're getting really clear on what it is that we want to create. And then the pleasure practice is this alchemization process and something that I want to, I guess, insert like what I'm doing in my practice if I'm using pleasure or sex magic or just manifestation in general. Something that has become so much more clear recently is the importance of clearing whatever beliefs exist in this moment. So if we're doing our pleasure practice and we're calling in abundance and we're visualizing it and we're feeling it in our body and it feels real, and we're visualizing it and we're feeling it in our body and it feels real and there's an underlying belief that says I'm not worthy of abundance, then it's like it's raining down on us but it's just hitting a reflection. It's like going to turn right around because the underlying belief is bigger. It's going to trump that.
Speaker 1:You know, whatever we're manifesting every single time. So before or I guess, included in our pleasure practice and in our manifestation practice, we have to have this element of sitting down and, you know, becoming aware of whatever existing limiting beliefs there are at the moment, clearing those and then working with our pleasure and it's like we've made space. We've released the existing belief and we're calling in the new. And that's like a repetitive cycle, the releasing the old, bring in with the new with pleasure. And you do that, you know. Oh, it's not going to take one time, it's going to be multiple times coming back to it yeah, I'm glad you brought that up.
Speaker 2:Um, yeah, that's very, very true. If we don't have, um, the beliefs in place that we can accept whatever it is, we're calling in. Yes, yes, so, and you're right, it is a cycle, it's ongoing work, like we all continually have things to release right so yeah, we want to.
Speaker 1:We want to make space before we bring, bring or call something in absolutely yeah, and especially with the bigger things, like abundance and our soulmate and these like and just you know, even clarity as to what our passion, all those things, these big things that we've been, you know, just programmed to protect ourselves from really having, you know, everything we kind of talked about earlier, these big things are definitely going to take, you know, multiple times, bringing attention to it and bringing attention to the underlying belief. So I think, going in with that knowing of, like, it's not going to take one pleasure practice or one beautiful orgasm to transform your life. It's going to be like it's another tool in our, in our toolkit. Um, and what I really want to hear about next is this idea of a touchless orgasm. Tell us about that, tell us how that's possible. Expand all of the human beings that are listening to this conversation right now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I first had a touchless orgasm in my sleep in my early 20s and sort of forgot about it. Nobody kind of really knew what I was talking about. And then I got as I finally landed. It was many, many years before I finally landed in my coaching certification program that had the pleasure practices that I was looking for and it was at that same retreat and I knew, like I knew in the back of my mind.
Speaker 2:I was like I just had this belief. I was like, if I can orgasm in my sleep, I just had this belief. I was like, if I can orgasm in my sleep without touching myself, I'm like I know that there is a way to do that, waking, like there's a power there somehow, but I didn't know how to harness it. So I was sort of getting a better handle on it inside of my coaching training because we did a lot of the practices on ourselves and I was like, okay, I can see. Okay, like I want to like really reach for a touch reach, not reach, I guess. But I was like I really want to see if I can experience this touchless orgasm consciously. And I was at that same retreat where we did the sex magic, doing pleasure practices and I'm, you know, there's this piece of me that's like just watching the experience and going, oh my God, like this, is it this?
Speaker 1:is it.
Speaker 2:And then you know, I'm on my yoga mat, hands on my sides, and I'm like I I'm about to have an orgasm in a room full of 80 women without touching myself. The sex magic. I was touching myself for sure, but in these other practices I wasn't. So I was so excited I didn't orgasm in the session. I needed like 10 more minutes, but that really lit me up and so I went home after the retreat and I was like can I replicate that experience where I don't have, you know, the energy of all of these other women in the room with me? Can I still have these pleasure experiences?
Speaker 2:So I began experimenting with what I needed to do to make that happen and kind of went yeah, it's, this is possible. And so I put together a beta course. I was like cause, the next step? Step is can I teach it to other people? And it's like it can be taught.
Speaker 2:So I mean, at its core it's, it really is in line with everything that we've been talking about. It's body sensitivity. So you need to be sensitive to your own pleasure in your body, your activated mind, so you know consciously directing where you're going to put your energy and intention, directing breath and things like that, and then pleasure building tools will get you to touchless orgasm. And I always want to say to you, to people listening, like sometimes, as women, I think it can feel like there's this list of sexual things we need to be able to perform, and I just want to make clear to anybody listening you don't have to do this and you don't have to go to touchless orgasm. Even just looking inward and creating a touchless pleasure practice is going to be hugely, hugely, hugely impact, impactful. So I I don't want anybody listening going oh my god. Another thing I have to you don't um, you can play with it as you like, to the degree that works for you, and it's absolutely not something you need to do, but it is.
Speaker 2:I think it's a powerful practice.
Speaker 1:Totally, and it's something you get to do if you want to. You know it's like it's something that is available to you and something to just be curious about. And the whole, this whole conversation is really an invitation for people to just start being curious about the sensations in their body, really starting there, seeing you know the pleasure of eating a strawberry, of having somebody rub your head, and you know, starting there and then moving into the okay, like I'm curious about pleasure and touching my body, just fingertips on my leg, and then you know working your way to where, up to wherever you want to go, and and just knowing that that kind of energetic turn on and, I guess, connection between mind, body and just like oneness is available. And it's like it's something that's available in every single one of us because we all have that divine feminine and that spark of divinity, that power within each of us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I really think of touchless orgasm. It's almost, it's really a body meditation in a lot of ways, and if people and if people don't have time to devote to a touchless orgasm or pleasure practice, you can even just spend like five days, five days, not five days, five minutes every day, like before you get up in the morning, before you go to bed, just taking that to like tune in just for five minutes going. Okay, what do I feel? What's alive, what?
Speaker 2:what sensations feel pleasurable to me today, and I've found that once you flip the switch, like once you get in the habit of being able to put your mind onto whatever pleasure is available, that pleasure starts to almost be like constantly simmering, like it's easier to go in and activate it when you want it, and you can take that into partnered sex too. So it's a tool and again you can go as deep as you want or you can just, you know, play with it sort of a few minutes a day. It's really whatever you desire for your life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, totally. It's almost like you're establishing a new norm or you're in the process of establishing a new norm, where now you just exist at this you know level of turn on, at this just consistent kind of simmering, this consistent like, oh, look at how pleasurable everything is around me. This breeze, the touch of my partner's hand on my shoulder, like all of it is, is, you know, stoking the fire all the time. Yeah, and I was just listening to this other podcast because I, like I've said, pleasure has just been like circling me, this conversation and this topic and and just how sacred it is for women to be given permission to experience pleasure.
Speaker 1:And one of her practices was like every morning she sets her alarm 10 minutes earlier and so then you have like one session of snooze where she's just like hand on her pussy or, you know, your genitals, whatever, and just like holding. You know, you know if you want to do more, you can do more, but just like saying good morning, just like holding and just like reestablishing that sense of safety between, like self and you know sacred body part and sacred portal, and and I just found that so powerful because there's none of the you know expectation of like going in and having having it be a whole thing, or having to orgasm or, you know, having to be aware of the numbness and all of the cascading of, like I need to figure out why that comes next. You know it can just be simple and it can just be like a simple, just gentle and and, like you know, self to self holding, and I found that very powerful.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that practice and I, you know, I think we all have an innate wisdom, our own unique wisdom, or, you know, our, our gut, and for some of us actually lives in our gut.
Speaker 1:I find mine lives in my pussy, so even if I like just that touch to help build, that connection like and pussy is pussy has never steered me wrong, ever no, no, yeah, I, I agree and I think, and I think, just like really standing in, that it's like an audacity, you know, of like I am a woman and I have a pussy and it's powerful and I choose to use its power for creation and for, you know, good, and not in.
Speaker 1:So I feel like you know the. The narrative of like pussies being powerful has been around for a while, but it's been around in the way that we're using it to manipulate men and we're using it to you know, the narrative on TV is like to climb the ladder and just like you know, in such a inauthentic and disconnected way, versus like I am a high priestess and like I'm a queen and my pussy is powerful and it's the center of the universe, you know, and with that I will create, you know, with that I will. I will stand in this like audacity of it a hundred percent agree with all of that, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think, adding on to that, I think sometimes this idea of women as creatrixes being related to the pussy has often been related to being able to give birth, and you don't have to have a child to harness the energy of your pussy and your womb Like those are still creative. I can't even think of the word. We have access to that creativity that is so big and bold and beautiful, and it doesn't have to be for human life. You can use that to create anything you want in your life create your dreams Like it's, for that's the thing.
Speaker 2:It's for you. It's for you to use in whatever way you, as the high priestess of your own life, determines is best. Like you don't have to answer for it, it's yours Totally Beautiful.
Speaker 1:Well, I've loved this conversation, jen, and I'm curious if there's any you know final insight or you know tidbit that you want to leave the audience with.
Speaker 2:I would just encourage everybody to make habit, a pleasure on a daily basis. It doesn't have to be sexual pleasure, if that's beyond what you have available right now, but just anything pleasurable, just for the sake of pleasure, just to remind yourself that, like we are human, we are here and you are alive.
Speaker 1:Totally love that. Just for the sake of pleasure, just for the sake of being alive, just that's it. There's no other reason, that's enough. Yeah, totally Well. Thank you so much for your time and your presence and this conversation, Jen.
Speaker 2:If people want to check me out.
Speaker 1:how can people find you. Thank you, how can people find you? That's okay, Head on over to my site you, that's okay.
Speaker 2:Head on over to my site, jenwodkecom, so that's J-E-N-N-W-O-D-T-K-Ecom. You can get the Touchless Orgasm book for five bucks and it includes that sex magic bonus with a couple other bonuses. And the other thing that's happening it's not live on my site yet, but it will be um I am co-hosting a punani power retreat at the end of january in tulum, mexico. Five days of um getting in touch with all your feminine power and energy and pleasure practices with other women, um, and it's 2500 bucks and that includes your accommodation. So we've tried to make it affordable for everybody. So that's also an option if you want to like get into all that juicy, juicy pleasure, energy with me in the new year.
Speaker 1:Beautiful, wow, thank you, and we will have all of that linked in the show notes. That retreat sounds amazing. I just hosted a retreat in Tulum last year. It's such a powerful like place to be diving into self. It's exciting.
Speaker 2:I haven't been yet. I'm super excited.
Speaker 1:Yeah, cool. Well, I will link all of that in the show notes for people to find you. And again, thank you so much for your time, Jen.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much. It was so great to chat with you.
Speaker 1:I hope you enjoyed that conversation. If there's somebody in your circle, in your friend group, that you think would benefit from hearing this conversation, I would love if you sent it their way. If you have an extra minute, it would mean so much if you left a review on this podcast. It will help it grow, it will help this message reach more people and I will be back with another conversation next week.