Wild Souls
Welcome to the Wild Souls podcast. I’m your host, Cat Mansfield. Together, we will return to our wild instincts; reconnect to our body, to our connection to something greater, to the Truth of our divinity + infinite potential. We are here to have the raw conversations about all aspects of this human experience- the incredibly painful and the unbelievably pleasurable - the dark and the light, the death and the rebirth. This podcast is about holding space for the whole spectrum of human experience as we navigate each of our unique + divine healing journeys and step deeper into our soul’s calling. These conversations are meant to be a resource for deep self inquiry, a guidepost in cultivating a deep, unwavering self love, and ultimately, empower you to create a life so on purpose, so aligned with your authenticity, you can’t help but embody your wildest soul. Lets dive in.
Wild Souls
67. Embracing Feminine Wisdom & Building Self-Worth w/ Amy Lenius
After years of navigating chronic illness and endometriosis, Amy Lenius began to question conventional medicine, and embrace a truly holistic approach; focusing on the interconnectedness of all systems: mind, body, soul.
In our conversation, we dive into all aspects of the feminine and how we can harness it's natural cycles to create more flow & harmony in our lives. Amy shares insights from her powerful holistic healing journey & tools to create an unwavering self belief and, ultimately, self worth.
There are so many juicy tidbits in this conversation. Enjoy!
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Welcome to the Holistic Hotties podcast. I'm your host, Kat Mansfield. I'm a yoga and meditation teacher who's traveled around the world in search of all things healing and true. In searching for healing, in searching for truth, I uncovered the answers to all my ponderings. I grounded into peace amidst the chaos, I found myself. This podcast is about breathing life into who you already are. It's about remembering the truth of your power, the truth of your perfection. In each episode, we'll talk about the beliefs, the self-imposed limitations and the mindsets that are keeping us small, and how to cultivate safety in our bodies so that we can feel safe enough to be bigger, to take up more space and to truly and deeply love ourselves. On this journey together, day after day, we're choosing intention, we're choosing growth. We're choosing to dissolve our veils and breathe into our most authentic and thus most radiant selves. We're choosing to feel good naked let's dive in. To feel good naked, let's dive in. Hello, and welcome back to another episode of Holistic Hotties, Kat.
Speaker 1:Here this week I'm talking to Amy Lenius. Amy is the director of group coaching at Next Level University, a professional speaker and a Nextlevel certified holistic self-improvement coach. After dealing with chronic illness from a young age, Amy embarked on a journey of healing both on the inside and the out. Along the way, Amy developed a passion for holistic healing, holistic self-improvement, self-awareness and learning to build self-belief and self-worth. Amy guides others along their own healing journey, facilitating a space to help others lean into their own unique version of holistic peace, purpose and potential. Amy and I dive into how to build your self-worth. We dive into releasing into the feminine cycles and trusting in the cyclical nature of the feminine and allowing ourselves to really adopt harmony and flow in our lives, while really being in tune with our cycle, being in tune with the feminine and finding peace there. So let's dive in. Hello, Amy, Welcome to the podcast. How are you doing today?
Speaker 2:Hi, I'm so good. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here and have a conversation with you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm excited too. I'm excited for us to drop in and talk about all things holistic health. So that's actually where I'd love to start.
Speaker 2:I would love to hear a little bit more about your journey and how it led you to this passion and message about holistic health no-transcript suffering outside of even my cycle, and it was a wild time, and so I eventually got diagnosed with something called endometriosis and so chronic pain disorder. Lots of different things happened there, but I ended up going through the medical system and getting a lot of different drugs, a lot of different hormone therapies, a lot of different surgeries. It was quite a trying time to be honest.
Speaker 2:And eventually I needed a change. I was on all of these different drugs, painkillers, birth controls, all sorts of things and I was still having regular pain. But then I was starting to have other symptoms from the drugs and things as well Digestive issues, headaches and just not feeling like myself, not having much energy and things. And so I kind of just had this moment of clarity of you know what.
Speaker 2:I'm going to go off of everything and start from scratch just to see what's serving me and what isn't, and to get to know my body, to see how it's working versus what's not, and that started this really beautiful journey of let's see what's out there, let's see what I can do to help mitigate my pain, help treat my body, help understand like, help myself understand my body more and what's going on, instead of just what people are telling me. And so it was. It was a bunch of playing around with different modalities of therapies, different doctors, naturopath. That was really helpful as well, and what I learned through all of that is that it is not just about one part of you, especially when it comes to female health. It's not just about your bits, even though I know that's exciting and that's what everyone wants to talk about.
Speaker 2:It's about so much more when I started learning oh, if I support my gut health, it's going to support my hormones. If I support my liver health, it's also going to support my hormones. If I decrease my stress, it is going to help reduce my pain. And so learning to love the word holistic the fact that everything that you're doing, thinking, being, are around internally, externally, affects everything else.
Speaker 2:We're not segregated into these pieces. We are one functioning body that has its own community, going on, working together, in things or not, inside of you, that is interacting with your external environment as well, and they have this. What can be a beautiful relationship where one is feeding the other, but if one is negative and one is struggling, whether it be external or internal, it's going to affect the other. And so learning all of that and being able to look back on it because hindsight's always 20-20,. But I see where consistency changed my life, where messy action changed my life, where self-belief really helped me go through all of those hard times, how my self-worth had to increase, and all of that you talked about in a health journey.
Speaker 2:And so the fact that the two of those go so well together is what has led me to where I am now speaking on holistic women's health is how it started, and now it's grown into holistic self-improvement, because they all feed each other.
Speaker 1:Yes, I am so grateful for you sharing that story and you did it in such a succinct, beautiful way, while giving us so much insight into what you went through. And I mean, yeah, you're on holistic hotties. I so back everything you're saying. In this world and society where everything is so separate, right Like we, especially in conversations that we have with doctors, typically, like in allopathic medicine or more Western medicine, these conversations about what's happening in our gut are completely separate from what's happening in, you know, our endocrine system and why we might not be sleeping well and like there's not. There are very few conversations that are happening in Western medicine talking about how everything is connected, and I'm curious a little bit more about that journey for you. When you started to do this uncovering, when you started to learn more about how everything is affecting everything else and the interwoven nature of everything, were you met with resistance? When you started seeking help and seeking guidance or like. What was that journey like for you?
Speaker 2:I was met with a lot of resistance from the, like you said, the Western medicine, those doctors that I was still doing my best to stay in touch with and keep them posted on my journey and what I was doing, even though they had very much advised against it. But even me coming to them with hey, what do you think about dietary, like dietary shifts, for the sake of my hormones and how I can? Oh no, diet's not relevant at all. Oh, my goodness.
Speaker 1:Oh, but it is.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, what about my sleep? Is there anything we can be doing for my sleep? What about like? And they were just like no, this is about your uterus. And just take the drugs. And so.
Speaker 2:I ended up actually. I mean, I use the medical system, of course, when there's an emergency and things, and they've helped me. I mean, I had a life-saving surgery one time but again that was even hard to get. So I use the medical system. I see it for what it is, but it's very reactive instead of proactive and so I started to seek people and modalities and professionals that were very much into proactive health and looking at my body as a whole, and that really helped so much, and so I started shifting into that.
Speaker 2:I found an awesome natural path that was so lovely much, and so I started shifting into that.
Speaker 2:I found an awesome natural path that was so lovely and just feeding myself with communities that weren't detrimental to my health that were actually supportive of health, and this is a little bit it's hard to say, but I do find that when you have a certain chronic illness and you go and join these Facebook groups, unfortunately a lot of them are supportive of you being sick, not being healthy, Right right. Your illness becomes a part of your identity and the second you step outside of that identity and try to do something positive for it.
Speaker 2:You almost feel separate from these communities, because they're supporting you in being sick and they almost don't even want to hear how well you're doing, how you have discovered things that are getting you healthy, and they like to be in there. It's, it is it's a very victim mindset and it's not going to help them get better, unfortunately. And so where are you even exposing yourself to certain people in certain groups? Are they supportive of your goals? Are they supportive of your health journey? Are they supportive in your values, beliefs and all of these things? So that was really eye-opening as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's extremely interesting.
Speaker 1:I'm sure you're familiar with Joe Dispenza and his work around healing, and that was one of the biggest takeaways I read from or I took away from one of his books is that, especially when we are trying to heal our bodies from chronic illness or any kind of sickness, we have been attached and identified with the version of self who's sick, with the version of self who feels pain from the moment we open our eyes.
Speaker 1:And because of that attachment, the separating from that like in the version of self that's healthy is actually a very disorienting and uncomfortable process, like the separating and reconstructing of a version of self that is healthy, that doesn't immediately identify with pain or sickness or the past of being sick every, every moment that we open our eyes. And that's a very difficult process of choosing to believe that a healthy and new version of self exists. So will you tell us a little bit more about that process, that choosing every single day to believe in the version of self that we're moving towards? And I think you mentioned a little bit earlier this self-belief and especially in these times where you might feel like physically weak if you're sick, or maybe you're not even experiencing sickness but just feel so stuck in in those moments of like hopelessness or cloudiness, like choosing, that there's a version of self that exists, separate from the one that we identify with now.
Speaker 2:And it's okay if you can't see the full picture at the end. It's okay if you can't see from zero to 100, from the bottom of the mountain to the top. It's okay. It's about seeing the next step. It's about doing what it takes to get to the next step, even if it's messy. The next step. It's about doing what it takes to get to the next step, even if it's messy even if you have to do it unwell and imperfect.
Speaker 2:And self-belief and self-worth looking back, and now it's pillars of everything that I do that everything that we do at Next Level University is any success journey takes those things, whether it be a journey of health success, relationship success, anything these two pillars of self-belief and self-worth play huge roles in any kind of journey, and when I look back, I can see I had high levels of self-belief. So self-belief is what you believe you can accomplish in the external world. I believed I could go and see these different modalities and find something new and find something that worked for me. I believed in my ability to say no to things that weren't working anymore and yes to things that were, but that took time as well. And so self-belief is broken down into three really important steps. Self-belief is state, prove and self-assign, so stating that you're going to do something.
Speaker 2:And I love using simplistic things like laundry as examples, because we all do laundry or we all have done laundry, where we're saying we're going to do it, we go do the laundry and then we're not maybe taking the time to self-assign that we did that. But we'll get there so stating today I am going to do the laundry. I'm saying that out loud, whether to myself, to my children and my husband, whatever it is, I'm going to do the laundry today. And then I go and prove that I can do, that, I go and take the action of getting the laundry done. And then the secret sauce is the self assigning, is the self celebration. I said I was going to do this thing, I did the thing and I proved to myself that I could do it. Yay me.
Speaker 2:And I love using laundry, because how many people are celebrating for doing laundry? But if you can learn to celebrate and self-assign the little things that seem mundane, like laundry, you can do it for the big things as well. And some of us only use the big things to build that part of us and are missing opportunities in the little things we do every day to build that self-belief. So how can you break down the state proven self-assign into something that is so ridiculous, something so mundane and so small that you maybe do every day but aren't giving yourself credit for, and fight with your brain when it tells you it's ridiculous, oh, I should not be giving myself credit for doing my skincare routine or for brushing my teeth twice a day or anything like that. But if you can do it for that, you can do it for anything. If you can learn to fight yourself for not giving yourself credit, to actually giving yourself credit for the things that you do, it's going to help build self-belief. It's going to help build that peace of mind that's so, so important and there's so many ways we can sabotage getting to that self-assign. So, yes, I did the laundry. I said I was going to do the laundry. I did the laundry. Oh, but I should have done more. I should have actually also folded it and put it away. I should have done these and you'll take yourself off the rails and give yourself some reasons to not celebrate and assign the thing that you did. So just watch for that little bit of a should shame spiral that can happen in between there. I think a lot of us are doing that a little too much.
Speaker 2:And then self-worth. So self-worth is the reason I was able to say yes to certain things, to say no to certain things, to be able to see that those communities were not serving me and stepping away from them, even though it hurts my heart so much to do so, because you also try and like be a hero and you want to be in there and be like I can help you, but we can't drag. And so self-worth building that has allowed me to be okay with having people in my life who are actually of like an in alignment with my goals and self-worth. So self-belief is this triangle, it's this one, two, three right Self-worth we have this framework where it's a pyramid and it's five levels. And self-worth the pyramid starts with a base of keeping the promises you make to yourself, and that can be really challenging sometimes, which is why I love starting small, and what's beautiful is that is what connects to the self-belief as well because, you're still improving and self-assigning.
Speaker 2:Those two go together really well. And so where are you not keeping the promises you're making to yourself? And then ask yourself why? Why is that? Because it's not sustainable. I've created a goal that isn't sustainable or accurate or I'm able to do in the amount of time I've given it. Do I need to give myself grace? Do I need to give myself grit and do it, even though I don't want to, but I said I would? There's a dance there.
Speaker 2:Yeah want to, but I said I would. There's a dance there. And then the next one, on the next tier, is self-belief, self-worth. Hold on, I'm having a bit of a brain moment. Happens Self-worth. Oh so it's courage especially social courage. Social courage is a big one for self-worth. Are you being socially courageous when you are speaking? Are you speaking your truth? Are you giving yourself or putting yourself in the rooms to be able to do that?
Speaker 2:It's very important. And there's another one in there that is and there's another one in there that is do you remember those days where your brain just doesn't work? I'm on who? You are Right, and we have moments of high energy, high clarity, high articulation, and then there's moments where we're not set up for success with articulation, our brains and things like that. And so what's really powerful is, I see, and work with a lot of women who are like, oh my gosh, last week I was absolutely on fire.
Speaker 2:Last week I was amazing. I stuck to my workouts. I was so great with my diet. I wanted to have fun and go out with friends. And this week I am a potato and they take that on as I suck.
Speaker 2:But that is our natural state of being. So where can you give yourself grace and permission to flow within that natural cycle? So last week I was articulate as all hell articulation right. This week, a little under the weather as well, and I'm in my season right before my inner winter, so right before my period. So your brain is just like down here.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I resonate with this, all of this.
Speaker 2:Because you're a woman, right.
Speaker 1:And so where?
Speaker 2:do you understand yourself as a woman and then give yourself grace and understanding and lean into the seasons. So there's, so there's a huge part of me that would have been like well, because I'm not going to be as awesome as I was last week, I shouldn't do this thing today. Yeah. So where can you give yourself permission to? When you're at 40%, be okay with that 40%, yeah, but give 100% of that 40%.
Speaker 2:Totally, totally, because your 100% looks different all the time. Totally, totally, 100% looks different all the time. And even just me leaning into that, giving myself permission to take messy action, leaning into grace and understanding and pivoting and all of those things that right, there is something that can build self-worth as well.
Speaker 1:I mean there are a few things I want to double click on. I love this notion of self-celebration and I think it's a practice that we can all invite more of into our life. I go through phases in my own life and in my own practices where I'm really liberal with self-celebration. I'm like everything I'm doing, I'm like you're good for you, you're doing it, you're on top of it. You know the little things laundry, like I've been so productive today, and then I fall out of it a little bit and I do fall more into the shoulds and that I should have been doing more today. It's not okay that I like rested, that I didn't produce, I didn't do. And I think just being aware of when we fall into those should cycles which you know is the practice, it's the noticing, it's the noticing when we're there, which is the hard part. And then I guess it's one of the hard parts and then sometimes even harder part is deciding to question that, deciding to really ask if that's true, ask if it's true that I needed to do more, that I need to be more productive, and giving ourselves permission. And I think this also goes with everything we're talking about when it comes to just the female cycle and the female being, giving ourselves permission to be more fluid, to give ourselves grace and to trust in that feminine being and the power in that feminine right. Like, like we're not going to be at our most articulate and our most I have a trouble with the word productive, because it's so there's. It's so heavy for so many of us like, so linked to so many things, but we're not going to be at the height of our being all the time. That's only like a small portion of the month really. It's like that first, you know, 11 to 12 days after we're done bleeding, and the rest, it's like we're moving in and out of so many emotions and downloads and intuitions and like that is the beauty of the feminine.
Speaker 1:And so for me, the more I've learned about my cycle, the more I've given myself permission to trust that there is wisdom in that, like fall and winter part of the cycle, and there's wisdom in that needing rest. There's wisdom in that self-discovery needing to be more inwards and the baths and the needing to not be as social. There's wisdom there that I'm meant to trust and I'm meant to just surrender to those cycles and to that wisdom. Right, right, and and I think, as I've done that more, there's been this deeper connection with self and this deeper understanding and trusting of the wisdom of my body and the wisdom of the feminine.
Speaker 1:And with that, like you're saying, comes this, this deeper sense of knowing, this deeper sense of belief in myself and this deeper sense of of self-worth, in that I'm more embodied right, in that I'm more trusting and surrendered to the experience. So, yeah, that's kind of my what's coming up for me in terms of my experience with all of that. And it's been because we're not taught any of this. We're not taught any of this. We're not taught anything about our cycle, we're not taught any that we live in a dominant, like masculine productivity matrix where a woman is meant to produce the same as a man every single day, and as if we had the same 24 hour hormonal cycle that a man has right.
Speaker 2:Yes, so much. Yes, men are like the sun and women are like the moon. They cycle on a 24 hour cycle and we're slightly different every day.
Speaker 1:So what really?
Speaker 2:came up for me when you were speaking is one women put their worth in their productivity. We're taught societally, on all of these different ways, that what we can produce for others is where our worth lies. So if I'm a good wife, a good mother, a good sister, a good contributor to society, all of these things, that's where my worth lies. So when we can't be as productive, it hits our self-worth, and that is a cycle that is so worth breaking as a woman, because your worth needs to come from inside, because self-worth is an internal game.
Speaker 2:Self-belief is the external game. Self-worth is an internal game. If self-belief, so the laundry analogy. If self-belief is, I believe, with time, energy, money and learning, I could build a house. I believe I could do that. Self-worth is not only the foundation that the house is built on. It's how you treat the house once it's built. So, once you've built this beautiful home, do you allow people to come in with their muddy boots? Do you allow them?
Speaker 2:to spill red wine on your carpets. It's that. And so self-worth is an internal game, but yet we're seeking it externally, and the more we do that, the less actually self-worth we're going to have. And so it is a really beautiful thing to be able to tap into and, like you said, understanding our cycle, understanding our energy cycles. It's not even because I know a lot of women listening. They're always like, well, that's nice, that's nice If you can take a day off on your low energy days or things like that. But I have to go to work, that's totally okay.
Speaker 2:Some of us don't have as much control over our schedules, that is okay. But how can you still understand that? That's the season you're in, so work is going to look a little different today. How can you take the little moments that you do have control over to be a little more internal for yourself in those internal seasons, in those lower seasons like fall and winter? And how can you lean into creativity, output and whatever it is that means the most to you in that energetic season, when you're set up for it in your spring, in your summer, right, when you're ovulating, when you're leading up for it in your spring, in your summer, right when you're ovulating, when you're leading up to ovulation, right after your bleed, like you said. Those are times that you can double down on that. But again, like, lean into where you have control and acceptance, grace and all the things, for where you don't have control in those moments.
Speaker 2:So today, yes, I'm leaning into my very low energy season, about to hop into that, and so I could have maybe said, well, no, I'm not going to go on these podcasts because I'm not articulate as much and all of these things, but that's not real life. At the end of the day, I don't want to put something on hold. That is my absolute passion and purpose to be here. It's such a privilege for me and I'm so grateful to be able to be here and not only speak on your podcast but to speak in anybody's life, and so it's okay. How can I do this imperfectly?
Speaker 1:How can I do?
Speaker 2:this because that's what it's going to look like today and it kind of just is. Yeah so you don't have to give up your responsibilities, it's just an, it's an energetic permission.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it gives you that. I guess what comes up for me is this feeling of empowerment, right, or choosing empowerment of like we're not victim to our cycle, or we're not victim to the fluidity of being in the feminine and not, you know, being in the 24 hour cycle of the masculine. We're not victims to that, but we can actually learn how to leverage that, to be so in sync with our body and with the cycle of the feminine that we'll actually, like we'll have more power. Like when we do create output. It's profound and it's potent. We don't, we don't need to, we don't need to be creating the same amount of output every single week of the month, because when we do sit down to create and channel through us and allow for output, it's potent and it's true and it's genuine. And so then, when we are in our winter seasons, in our fall and winter, we can trust that the way we show up will be perfect and allow for its own kind of divine alchemizing with wherever we are in our cycle. Right, it's not like one is necessarily better than the other.
Speaker 1:I think that's also kind of the thing that we fall into, this compartmentalizing of like good and bad, right, like high energy is good, and when we're feeling social and like going out and dancing, like that's good, that's the part of, that's the alive part versus like well, when we're feeling more internal and reclusive and, you know, feeling less like socializing, all these things, that's bad versus. They're both experiences that we are having as a female, as are in our feminine body, as in this feminine experience. Like they're both experiences. One's not good, one's not bad, one's not better, one's not worse. But I think we've been also programmed society. It's like good emotions, bad emotions, positive, negative, you know. Like good foods, bad foods. Like we're so taught to compartmentalize. I mean it goes back to holistic healing and holistic living. It's like, yeah, we've been so programmed Like this is that, this is that, this is that None of it intermingles, but it's not that. It's one experience, right, there's not good, there's not bad, there's just both.
Speaker 2:And, like you said, we haven't been taught any of this. We didn't grow up knowing about these different seasons that we have as women, like no one was teaching you that in school, If you grew up knowing that you are truly blessed for sure, and so the fact that we can speak into people's lives now on this, I think, is so important.
Speaker 2:So, again, how hypocritical would it have been of me to not show up today just because it might not be perfect. Hopefully, what I am seeing is that I can give someone permission, even if it's just one woman listening permission to show up imperfect, because you still have value to add in your imperfect states.
Speaker 2:You're going to flow in and out of these seasons and what's unfortunate is that, as women were taught to chase balance and to find balance when in reality, balance is BS and non-existent for women. What we need to lean into, like you said, is flow and harmony. Flow and harmony allow you and give you permission to be in and out of things. Balance implies that you can be all things equally at once, and what a load of.
Speaker 2:BS. How often do you hear, oh, if I could just balance my home life and my work life. If I could just balance motherhood and being a spouse, if I could. You can't, you literally cannot. You can flow in and out of those hats you can find harmony in those things.
Speaker 2:So this morning I was in my motherhood role, I was with my children all morning and I gave that momentum. What I love is the analogy of the spinning plates. Have you seen those people where they hold up the sticks and they spin the plates and they have all the plates going? That's fabulous. And so this morning I had my stick, I had my plate, and it was my motherhood plate, it was my family plate, and so that has momentum. Now I gave that momentum, I gave it attention and I'm going to step away from it to be on this podcast with you, trusting that the momentum I gave it this morning is still there. And now I'm flowing into my hat of passion purpose speaking all of these things.
Speaker 2:That's getting my focus and momentum right now.
Speaker 2:And then I flow into something later something else, all can be going. But what's really really important for me because, like you said, we see so spectrally we have this beautiful thing where we can see so spectrally and we can hold mentally, physically, emotionally, all like a lot of space and a lot of different things. So what's really valuable for us as women is to understand that we have a lot of plates and that's really beautiful. We're able to manage a lot of plates. How can we discern what plates are glass and what plates are plastic, discern what plates are glass and what plates are plastic? The glass plates are the ones that are the most important to you, the ones that you don't want to lose momentum and the ones that you don't want to fall. The plastic plates. How can you give yourself permission to have areas in your life that are plastic? And if they fall it's not a big deal, you can pick it back up?
Speaker 3:plastic and if they fall it's not a big deal. You can pick it back up, it's not going to break and the super secret is who's spinning all the plates?
Speaker 2:It's you. So if you fall, all of the plates fall. So how are you taking care of yourself, how are you holding enough level of self-worth which I have the answer to now we'll go back to it To be able to keep those plates spinning by giving yourself enough time, care, attention, so that you can keep all those plates spinning.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that. Could you give us a couple examples of like maybe in your life, for example the plastic plates, so that people can better assign different? You know things that are going on in their life.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. One of the best supports I was given was from one of my mentors and coaches and now someone I work with his name's Alan Lazarus and that's who I work with at Next Level University is he said to me, Amy, not everything is urgent and important. He said to me, Amy, not everything is urgent and important. And as a woman, you're like yes, it is. Everything is urgent and important and all of it needs my attention, energy and time and care versus what's not important and just to be able to categorize those so things that are glass plates for me. So my main focus and I like three. Three is not too many, but it's also not too little. It keeps us busy enough, right. One thing is a little too, not enough, for it's also not too little. It keeps us busy enough, right. One thing is a little too.
Speaker 2:not enough for a woman. We like a little bit more, but not too much, because we're honestly people who are like oh no, I have 10 glass plates, no you don't, you don't need to, you don't need to trust me, three glass plates, okay, biggest glass plate, my most important one, is my family and my household. Right, not the household, as in the laundry is done, because it's absolutely not, but the energy and the love and the feeling and the care in my home to make sure that we're all great on a team thriving together.
Speaker 2:That's one of my glass plates. Another one is my health. If anything, actually, that's probably the most. That's the one I put the most energy and effort into because, again, if I am not good, all of those plates fall and I come from a space of chronic illness. So I have a lot of not scarcity anymore, but just high awareness of what it takes for me to be healthy. So endometriosis doesn't exactly go away, but I have it under such maintained control I have no pain, no symptoms, nothing. But I do things every day to honor that and to make that a priority, and so my health, my family and this.
Speaker 2:This is my work, my coaching, my group coaching, going on podcasts to not only add as much free value to the world as I can but to practice my craft and articulation and speaking and all of these beautiful things, and so that those are my three things that don't fall.
Speaker 2:And so everything else sometimes that's saying no to social events. Sometimes that's saying no to, you know, the weeds that are popping up in the outside yard. Does that need to be my given my full attention right now, or can it be a bit of a jungle for the sake of these other things? Absolutely it can. It's not urgent and important.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what's coming up for me is what I've been calling it and I actually just did this exercise this morning is my authentic code. So I think those would be what my glass plates are. And I break my authentic code down into four. So you know, maybe I could get it to three, but I feel like three to four is what feels good for me at this point and and it's like really what I filter every decision through, right. So if somebody asks me to go out to dinner, and well, first I tune into my body, kind of see where I am in that cycle, tune into really what my body's needing, and then I filter it through those authentic codes, those four categories or four plates in my life where I'm like, is it spinning, does it need more momentum? Right, it's like, sometimes, even if like cause, conscious and authentic connection, that's one of the plates, right, but like if that's been spinning, if I put a lot of my time and my, my presence into cultivating conscious connection over the weekend, maybe if somebody asked me to go to dinner tonight I don't need to say yes, right, like tuning into where the momentum is in each plate at any given moment and like seeing where one's lacking, one's slowing down and like it's this, yeah, I can visualize it, this just like dance of harmony, of like, hey, where where's it all? How's it all living, and I love that.
Speaker 1:Um, I guess just reorientation around harmony and flow versus balance. I love that because, yeah, balance is definitely a buzzword in the like health and wellness space and and I and it's not that I don't like think that's a great word, I see how I see the place for it, and it's not that I don't think that's a great word, I see the place for it. But especially as it relates to the feminine and for women, listening to this harmony and flow, it just resonates on a different level than balance does, in my body at least. And so that invitation to really reorient around our lives, like zoom out and ask ourselves how we can invite more harmony and flow into our lives versus versus, maybe more balance, and and seeing what that means for us, cause I think that definition and the manifestation of harmony and the manifestation of flow in each of our lives will feel and look different.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I agree Definitely, and so I love that you have filters, that you run things through, and we all have these filters. It's whether we're using them or not.
Speaker 2:We can tap into what those filters are for ourselves. And what's really beautiful is some of them we get to choose and grow into and some of them we actually just have to uncover because they're already a part of us. And so three really powerful filters that we all have are our beliefs, so what we believe about ourselves, what we believe about others and what we believe about the world. And then we get to decide if they're aligned with the other two filters our core values and our core aspirations.
Speaker 2:It's very past, present, future. And so our past dictates our core values and our core aspirations. It's very past, present, future. And so our past dictates our core beliefs. So let's bring back chronic illness, do you?
Speaker 2:believe it's possible to be pain-free, okay, well, I'm a living version of that possibility, okay, so do you believe it's possible? Yes, do you believe it's possible for you? Those are two different things. And then it's what do you believe about the world that either feeds that narrative or or hinders that narrative? And so, running those? And then your core values.
Speaker 2:Our core values are really beautiful. There's something that you uncover or discover within yourself, because they're already there. And then, once you discover what those are, you can start seeing points in your life, decisions, things that you do as oh, this was really aligned for me and it felt really good. Oh, because it's attached to this core value, this thing that I wanted to do but didn't feel good and didn't go how I wanted it to, like why? I still can't understand why? Oh, because it was misaligned with the value. So that is a really powerful filter to be able to discover and put in place for yourself, and I love, like.
Speaker 2:Brene Brown has an awesome list of core values. You can Google it and just highlight the ones that resonate with you and cross off the ones that don't, and then try and clump them together because, as the feminine, you're going to highlight at least 30. Yeah, you're going to love them all. They're going to be so wonderful. You're like oh, I love this one, I love this one, I love this one Great, yeah, me too. I had like 35 to start, but then I started grouping them together, call growth.
Speaker 3:A lot of these fall into the category of what I would consider freedom.
Speaker 2:Freedom is my freedom. Love and growth are my top three. If you want to step into four, it's integrity is the next one. But freedom, love and growth three to five is always good. Like you said, you have four perfect. Three to five is amazing and so. But freedom being that one, oh, you can see it in every aspect of my life. I work from home, I make my own hours, I homeschool my children it's just very prevalent and then I can go back and see where things weren't aligned that I thought were going to be.
Speaker 2:And oh, it's because it went against that core value. And so discover them, group them together, and then those are your filters, and then core aspirations are your goals, are where you're looking towards the future. So, or where you're looking towards the future, so, what is your next goal? What are you aspiring to do?
Speaker 2:become all of these things and then do your beliefs and core values go along with that and how can you step into that and then making sure you're bringing in self-belief and self-worth and making sure those pillars are as strong as possible?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that. I think that's super helpful for people. And all of this self-inquiry requires, you know, just that self-inquiry, which in and of itself is, you know, the asking of like being so present to notice when things feel off, because a lot of us might have been in the same job or the same friend group or the same environment for so long that we've become desensitized to our body telling us that this isn't aligned to the sensation of dysregulation or just that, I guess, the sensation of misalignment. A lot of us have become desensitized to that. So I think you know, if you're listening and you're in this process of self-inquiry which we all are all the time, because all these things, I think, maybe, except for core values, can change, like when I talk about my authentic code, like I exist in this space, giving myself permission to notice when those things evolve, like I'm not a mother yet when I enter motherhood, I know that my authentic code will change. It's inevitable and even yeah, yeah, I'm sure, and even I'm engaged. But when I enter marriage and a deeper commitment and enter, like, into the role and identity of a wife, I'm sure my, my authentic code and those filters that I'm I'm sifting life through will also change. So giving ourselves permission to allow for those to evolve.
Speaker 1:I think, like I said, maybe with the exception of core values like these things that are the foundation of our soul, but even getting to the point where we're uncovering those again, it's this self-inquiry and that in and of itself is so courageous. So, if you're listening to this, if you're in the process of self-inquiry, and that in and of itself is so courageous, so if you're listening to this, if you're in the process of self-inquiry along with us, just know that it can be a tumultuous road and that it requires courage, and it requires that bravery to go in, that bravery to ask ourselves questions and the bravery to listen to the answers, especially if they are different than what we've been doing or the way we've been living, for you know, years or decades or whatever. So let's also go back to that self-worth pyramid when you, when you're ready Cause I, I know the second one we touched on was courage.
Speaker 2:When you're ready, I know. The second one we touched on was courage. I'm officially ready. When do you? Ready.
Speaker 1:I'm officially ready.
Speaker 2:But I do agree with you and I do think even our values can evolve or become deeper. So, as an example, I was just talking about my mentor, alan. He has deepened a level of his core values into a deeper understanding One. It started as integrity, but it turns out maybe it was integrity, it was something, but now he's deepened it into candor. He values truth so much even if it's hard truth, if it's anything like that he values truth so much that it is a core value of his and he discovered that that was a deeper layer, a deeper, more pinpointed truth of one of his ones that he already had and so you can permission always to evolve, expand.
Speaker 2:You know your core aspirations, your goals, the things you're working towards. Sometimes those pivot totally change based on what you're doing now and vice versa, and so always permission to evolve and pivot when you need to if it's more aligned, and and permission to always discover yourself on a deeper level, because there's always going to be more to discover. Self-awareness is a superpower and it can be tough sometimes.
Speaker 2:You do have to have humility. You have to have the ability to be honest with yourself and where you're at. But if you can dive into true self-awareness and self-acceptance and humility to be able to start where you're actually starting, where you're actually at, you're going to build a beautiful foundation to build on whatever your core aspirations are. And so humility is also a superpower. And so the self-worth pyramid. Let's get back to this. We had self-belief, which is three steps state-proof, self-assigned. The self-belief pyramid talked about at the beginning, it's the promises you make to yourself. What a beautiful foundation to start with, because it's connecting into self-belief.
Speaker 2:The next one I skipped one. Courage is after is boundaries. Oh my goodness, boundaries it is. Yes, I love boundaries. Oh, what a self-worth. I mean it's like a Mario Kart booster.
Speaker 1:Yeah, totally.
Speaker 2:When you can set healthy boundaries, and I'll just go quick with this. There are so many people setting boundaries poorly and wrong out there. They're stating boundaries as rules, and so rules are things that people are supposed to follow, but we kind of don't have control over that. We do not have control of the actions over other people. We can have influence over them sometimes, but we do not have control over them.
Speaker 2:So I'm going to use getting in an argument as an example. If I'm getting in an argument with someone and they start raising their voice, calling me names and I say you can't talk to me like that, stop it. They kind of can still.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:They kind of can still talk like that because what are you going to? Like put tape over their mouth Like there's nothing? You can't control what's coming out of your mouth. You hope they respect you enough to be like, oh, I shouldn't be speaking to her this way, but we can't control other people that way. A true, proper boundary is you, your actions, because that's what you have control over. So again, I'm in an argument with someone. They start raising their voice and calling me names and I say, hey, if you're going to choose to continue to raise your voice and call me names, I am going to choose to leave this conversation. That's the boundary.
Speaker 2:That's you saying if you continue to do this thing, I am going to choose to leave? You see the difference. One is way more empowered. One is one that you actually have control over. Hey I actually refuse to be spoken to that way and I'm not going to try and control you into not doing it. You do you. You want to be an a-hole, be an a-hole. I will not be here for that. That is true self-worth true boundaries.
Speaker 2:And then the next one was courage, and we talked a little bit about that social courage. Do you speak your truth? Do you say things that are hard, that need to be said? Are you speaking up and standing up for yourself? Are you putting yourself in good rooms and things? And so where can you have more courage to be more of your authentic self? That's a big one. And then the next one is investing. So investing in yourself. Now, a lot of people want this to be this big, elaborate thing of a weekend away with the girls or the spa or things like that and beautiful. If you can do that, absolutely go do that. But we want stuff that's every day right. An apple a day is better than seven on Sunday. We've all heard that. Investing in yourself is the same way. It's just like self-care.
Speaker 2:It's better to do it every day in these small moments than to do it once a year on an elaborate trip. But again, do that if you can. Amazing. But if you can do something every day. It's going to build more. It's going to build faster. It's going to build stronger and better.
Speaker 2:So, where are you investing in yourself every day? You listening to this podcast is investing in yourself, you learning, you making yourself the perfect cup of tea and drinking it while it's hot, instead of letting it get cold all the time and drinking cold tea, anything like that. Those are little moments of investing in yourself and it doesn't take a lot of time, energy and money, even though there are things that can right, Like coaching, like therapy, like all sorts of things that we can pour piles of money into. It's it's what are you doing for yourself that you have the capacity to do. Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:We all. We only have three resources time, energy and money. Where can you put those into yourself once a day, and it doesn't have to be money? Listening to this podcast, prime example right, amazing. And then the last one is comparison.
Speaker 2:Comparison can be a really beautiful and motivating thing, or it can be absolutely detrimental, right. Are you comparing apples to apples someone who is in a similar situation to you or are you comparing to something that is completely irrelevant and is going to be detrimental to you? We talked about the difference between men and women. Are you comparing your energy levels to a man? Theirs are different. They're different every day.
Speaker 2:I mean they're the same every day. You're different every day. Are you comparing yourself? So let's say me as almost 40 years old comparing like 40 year old homeschooling mom who lives in the country I live on a dirt road. Am I comparing my fitness journey to a woman who is in her early 20s, has no kids and lives in the city? She has way more access to certain things more time, more energy, all of these things. Am I going to do that at a detriment, or can I find someone who's going to inspire me, who does have a healthy, fit and active lifestyle, who also has children, who also maybe doesn't live next to a gym? Which one is going to be more helpful for me?
Speaker 2:One is going to inspire me and show me that it's possible. One is going to be detrimental, yeah Right. So where can you learn to have healthy comparisons and not detrimental ones? Those are going to help your self-worth as well.
Speaker 1:Okay, so it's self-belief, boundaries, courage, investing and comparison.
Speaker 2:Those are the five promises you make to yourself. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and as I kind of reflect on my journey with self-worth and the growth of it in my own self and the inviting of it in my own self, it feels like you're moving in and out of each of those, you know, like compartments of the pyramid at different times in your journey, like you almost think that you've like nailed boundaries. You're like, oh, I, I know how to set boundaries, I've been doing it for years now, and then you are met with an opportunity where you're the art that you feel like you've you've, you know, mastered of setting boundaries is being tested and feels a little bit wobbly and feels like you're now needing, needing to use your voice in a different way, and and or you've mastered the like investing in yourself. I have this morning ritual, and then you have kids in the morning ritual goes away, and so now you're needing to revisit. You know it feels like it's not.
Speaker 1:I mean with any of this. You know it feels like it's not. I mean with any of this, this whole conversation. It's not a destination, right? It's a continuous journey and it's not straight up into the right, and, especially with self-worth, it's this like. What is it called? It's the DNA spiral, so you might revisit the same compartment in the pyramid, but even if it, feels like you haven't made any growth.
Speaker 2:you're still ascending the spiral. Yes, definitely, and it's that permission to not tackle all at once. Look at those five things, and which one are you excellent at already? So leave that one for now. And which one are you like the most struggle Like what do you struggle with the most in that pyramid and focus on that one. First, growth. Actual sustainable growth is done with consistency, and consistency can't be done without sustainability.
Speaker 3:So if you want to tackle all five of those at once?
Speaker 2:that is probably not sustainable. So you won't build into consistency by learning and doing all of those things that it takes to go, and each one of those has ups and downs. Like you said, nothing is straight. Boundaries are not straight up. It is easier to set boundaries with certain people and harder with others the people who are the closest to us like that's the next level of hitting boundaries. Maybe you're being able to hit boundaries with your coworkers and people you interact with outside of the home and then, when it's inside the home or like parents or close family members, like that's a whole nother level of setting boundaries, because it's harder to do right With those.
Speaker 2:there's always different layers, there's always deeper layers, and so where can you give yourself permission to step into sustainability for the sake of it becoming a consistent practice?
Speaker 1:I love that and, and for anyone who's listening, when it comes to growth, and especially with self-worth, something that's coming up for me, it's like the change in the practice is so, like you said, one that requires consistency and sustainability, and thus the growth is like 1%.
Speaker 1:It's like 1%, 1%, 1%, 1%. So you might not notice, it might not feel like anything's changing, and then, all of a sudden, you wake up and you feel a difference in self. All of a sudden, you know what it means to truly embody self-worth. But if you're listening, if you're meditating, if you have any of these practices self-inquiry and you're feeling a little bit like self-doubt or just like it's not working, just keep going because it's like that tipping point point. And then, like I said, all of a sudden you wake up and you're like, oh my gosh, that hindsight and you see the, this reverence for the journey you know. And then, all of a sudden, there is this monumental difference in the version of self that used to be in the, in the version of self now and that's why it's so important to learn to celebrate and self-assign the small wins.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so that you can look back on it and not only does it build self-belief one, two, three but it is, it's so you can acknowledge the journey. And so when you look back, you have these little milestones to check in on. I mean, it's that beautiful saying that day-to-day changes are hard to notice but, over time, like a year, it's impossible not to notice.
Speaker 2:And so how can you give yourself the tools and the credit for the daily, weekly growth that you have? And all of this is messy. You're going to get into a situation where you're going to reflect on it after and be like, oh, I could have held a boundary there better. But that's beautiful. The fact that you even had the awareness of. Oh, the situation just happened to me and here's what I wanted to do but didn't. That's step one.
Speaker 2:You don't step into these practices, perfect right away. You're going to have a shorter turnaround each time and then the next time that scenario comes up, you're going to be halfway through the scenario and be like, oh wait, I want to hold the boundary this time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's what I actually want to say, hold the boundary halfway through, you know and then next time you do it a little sooner, a little sooner, and then it's all of a sudden just a part of who you are. This perfect doesn't exist. These imperfect, messy actions, where even just awareness of how you wanted to act different, because you knew that something could have been done better there, that's huge. That's a huge win and a huge and awesome place to start.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and allowing for the imperfect to be the perfect. Right, because there's no arrival at perfect, but being in the imperfect, that's exactly where you're meant to be on your at that time in your journey. So for our final question, amy, I'm wondering what your prayer is for the world what a powerful question.
Speaker 2:Honestly, my prayer for the world is, if it's that simple, saying that if we all swept our own porches, the world would be cleaner. How can you become the best version of you for the sake of the world? If we all were so dedicated to increasing our self-belief, our self-worth, leaning into what fulfills us, our passions, our purpose, our self-awareness, and all of those things, how much better would the world be? It's that saying what if what is best for you is what is best for everyone else?
Speaker 1:That's beautiful. I love that. Thank you for sharing that.
Speaker 2:Thank you for the question.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, how can my audience find you keep up with you, work with you, all the things?
Speaker 2:I appreciate that. I mean I'm on Facebook and Instagram, nothing else, because that would overwhelm me. Oh my gosh, there's so many different platforms out there. Now I was like oh, what about? What did someone say Snapchat the other day? I have no idea.
Speaker 2:The fact that I'm even on Instagram is a big deal. So Instagram and Facebook but honestly I mean I'm happy to connect with anybody anytime. I love just having chats with people behind the scenes. I do offer free connection calls just to talk anytime. And we have a Facebook group that's free, that I just love funneling people into because it is a Facebook group that is dedicated to 1% growth every day. It is small growth or self-awareness every day. So we post in there. I personally post in there every day just something that is going to take you into a new state of self-awareness, something simplistic. Sometimes it's a deeper dive question and sometimes it's what do you prefer? Prefer your chocolate with caramel or peanut butter? But again about yourself, it's called the level nation. It's completely free. It is a group of growth oriented people who love to just grow and thrive and be messy and are dedicated to sustainable small improvements. And if that is you, you will love our community and we would love to have you.
Speaker 1:That sounds wonderful, and definitely peanut butter, right, yeah, well, thank you so much for your time and your presence, amy. We'll have all of that linked in the show notes for people to find you, and I've had such a wonderful time connecting. Thank you again, same Thank you. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Thank you so much for listening. If there's anybody in your circle that you think would benefit from this conversation, please send it their way, and if you have a minute, leave a review Again. It will really help this podcast grow and reach more people. All right, I'll be back next week.