Triumph Over Trauma!
Triumph Over Trauma!
Use It or Lose It: Reminding us to harness what we have to create the life we want!!
Have you ever stopped flexing your talents, only to find them harder to showcase when you really needed to? You're not alone. This episode is a transparent exploration of the "use it or lose it" principle, I share personal reflections and urge you to keep shining your light, especially if past traumas are encouraging you not to. We'll unravel the real-life consequences of neglecting our bodies, skills and time. With God's help we can embrace the power of consistency and find the courage to heal and grow, even while life keeps life-ing!
- What is Trauma? Trauma is a deeply distressing or disturbing experience. An emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, rape, abuse, or natural disaster.
- How to cope with Trauma Talk to a few trusted people, open up about your struggle, seek online support groups, read self-help books or practice small acts of self-care such as meditation, breathwork, yoga and exercise can help you regain some feeling of control.”
- Find a therapist Get Started (betterhelp.com)
Online Psychiatric Medication & Mental Telehealth Services - Rx Anxiety, Depression & Insomnia Treatment | Cerebral - Triumph Over Trauma Scripture: II Corinthians 2:14 Now thanks be unto to God, who always causes us to Triumph in Christ....
- Books I'm reading on my healing journey.
It Didn't Start with You! - How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes who we are, & how to end the cycle. https://a.co/d/f22BoLk
Home Coming- Thema Bryant
https://www.amazon.com/dp/059341831X/ref=cm_sw_r_em_api_i_TE4YHJQ63FA21362FP79
The Body Keeps the Score - https://www.amazon.com/dp/0143127748/ref=cm_sw_r_em_api_i_HXH4RMNC329DT7VPQ5WG
Support the show
2 Corinthians 2:14 Now thanks be unto God, who always causes us to Triumph!
2 Corinthians 2:14 Now thanks be unto God, who always causes us to Triumph!
Hey y'all, welcome to Triumph Over Trauma, the podcast. Listen y'all. I created this podcast because, like so many other people, I've had a traumatic past. I didn't always realize how those things affected me negatively and how I even carried them into my adult life, and so I wanted to create a space where other people could come and we could have candid conversations on how you identify trauma, how do you navigate it and how you recover from traumatic experiences. And this resonates with youth. And join me. I am your host and trauma survivor, ms Eve McNair.
Speaker 1:Let's get into it. What's up guys? Welcome back to Triumph Over Trauma. Hey, how you been, how you doing, what's up with you? Listen, I know it's been a little bit since our last episode.
Speaker 1:You know what they say life is life and you just got to get in where you can fit in, and so today is where I fit in. With today's episode, I'm trying to be better at consistency and persistency, and it is difficult, amongst other things that are going on, and you can become easily distracted or even discouraged, especially if you lack consistency or if you aren't as persistent as you could be, because you know that there's a lack of consistency. And that actually brings me to today's topic. We've all heard of the term use it or lose it, and the thing is we use that term so loosely, sometimes, right, like use it or lose it, but the reality of it is is, what you don't use regularly, you will lose. Right, you will lose function of or capacity of, and that can apply to so many different areas of our life. That can apply to your time. If you don't lose your time, why is it that kind of time that can apply to your physical strength, your muscle mass. You can lose that. That can apply to your brain capacity, creativity, which you don't use, you will lose. And I've come face to face with the reality of that. When I started thinking about the podcast and how consistently I post and how consistently I even show up in the gifts that God has given me, I'm like, oh goodness, how can I use these gifts? I got to do something with what God has given me, and so it triggered this. A trigger today's episode is, of course, but it also made me go into detail, maybe go into depth, as to what that term means use it or lose it right, and like how serious it is and how it literally can affect, but it also made me think about how unresolved trauma can play a part in it as well.
Speaker 1:Right, you know some. We know that what you don't use, you can lose, but sometimes we don't realize the reason why we're not using it. Why are you not operating fully in your full capacity? Right, why are you not showing up in your full potential? What is holding you back? And not to give them your excuse for anything, but sometimes you got to trace these things back and see where they come from.
Speaker 1:The term pretty much means, in order to retain proficiency over a function, you must use it regularly, like there must be regular, regular use of this particular function in your life in order for you to maintain proficiency over it. Right, that's now kind of deep, but the truth of the matter is that goes for just about every area of our life, when you think about it, even in terms of your body, your muscle mass right, there is this term. There is another term called atrophy, and it's basically the shrinking of it means to shrink. It means to dissipate slowly, to go away, to lose function. Right, and if we don't use our muscles, if we don't move our bodies, the muscles become weaker and they actually begin to shrink as we age. People can lose anywhere between 20 to 40% of their muscles, right? Do the inactivity, do the sedentary lifestyles? Not only do they lose muscle mass and they also lose a portion of their strength along with it if they are inactive, right? Not to mention, the lack of physical activity also poses a risk of feelings of anxiety and depression. It's also a sedentary lifestyle also is associated with the risk of type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular disease and premature death. So when you think about it, like wow, when you think about how this term applies to just your body, right.
Speaker 1:And I remember one time I was taking this dance class with one of my aunts, pamela PANTS. You know, a couple people in the class were a little bit older to me and I came in there with my heels on and I just knew that I was getting Ray's show these older gals how to do it right. I came in here with my little wedges on and they turned the music on and she was going over the routine and I could not get it. I was not in step with it and the older girls they was running, giving me a run for my money and I was like, wait a minute, I'm not getting in my coordination was off like something right. And now I typically I have been dense in the, I guess, club setting in years, haven't gone dancing or been in environments where I was required to dance in years, right, um.
Speaker 1:But what I learned about that lesson is, what I learned about that day was literally like what you don't use, you will lose. Because I had hadn't been in use, because my body hadn't been used to moving in that capacity, keeping up with the beat, with the rhythm and different things, and the coordination was off and I was like, uh-uh, I was a little bit embarrassed because I was like not me being the youngest one here Not being able to keep up, and these women was in their 40s, 50s and 60s at the time. They might have been like in their 50s and 60s, um, because I wasn't yet 40 yet, but, um, they was, they was keeping up with it and I was like, oh my goodness, I'm so embarrassed. And so I just think about that even to now. It reminds me, actually, of that scripture that says Let us run the race before that's set before us.
Speaker 1:Right now they were talking about spirits letter spiritually run the race that's set before us, but you got to physically run your race too, like you got to physically stay in step and stay in tune with your body, with your muscles. You know you got to be active, um, physically right, or you will lose control or function of your own body. Like that's deep to me, like what you mean I can lose function of my own body if I'm not active, if I live a sedentary lifestyle, if I'm not, if I don't work out right. And again, this is sobering to me because I work out every day now and, uh, I do a combination of cardio, yoga and weight lifting or like I guess I don't know if you used to call it weight training or whatever and when I first started out doing it, one of the one of the reps is to do some push-ups. I could not do a push-up and I'm not saying that I might go literally proficient in push-ups now, but, um, I can actually get up, I could go down, but I couldn't pick myself back up and I was like, oh, my goodness, I can't even do a push-up. But I start to realize that over time, with consistently doing this particular workout, I was able to get myself back up and I'm like, oh, I could do one push-up, okay, I could do two push-ups. Okay, I can do this and and. So now it's becoming a little bit easier for me to get, you know, back up in that of rep, that push-up, but if I miss one day of the workout, the next day I feel rusty, I'm like I only miss one day, you know, but you have to be consistent. You have to use it or you'll lose it.
Speaker 1:Now I do want to say this because I've come to understand that people who suffer from traumatic events or unresolved trauma it is proven that trauma stays stuck in their body. For instance, I'm reading this book called the body keeps the score and it talks about how, when we Don't have an escape from the trauma we've gone through, or don't have that recovery From the trauma that we've gone through, it is suppressed within us, right, and sometimes you can become immobile Based on the traumas that you've spent, you've gone through, and that stress will store up in your body and even make you even less Mobile, like less active, less, even even less willing to engage. Inactivity, whether it be physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually. Right. The book the body keeps the score details how trauma gets trapped in our bodies and how it's imperative is actually imperative To your recovery to stay active.
Speaker 1:There is this another term called the golden hour, and it's actually the time. It's the time after a specific traumatic event has happened. That time frame, there's a specific time frame in which you must become actively engaged in your recovery physically, emotionally and mentally actively engaged in order to combat and recover from that atrap traumatic experience or the trauma will stay trapped in your body and Again, in order to release that stress from the nervous system then bring back balance to the body, you have to physically move, you have to physically be active, and one of the things that my own Trauma-informed therapist has me doing In order to combat and to release the traumatic experiences that I've held on to for years in my body is Movement, whether it be stretching, yoga, meditation, you know anything to act to get my body active Actually helps to bring back balance and connection mind, body and soul. And so it is important, even for those of us, and especially for those of us who have experienced traumatic events in our life, to become active. It's even that much more important because, again, once it gets stuck in your body, it's in your members right, it's in your mind, it's in your subconscious and you start to become restricted by what you have experienced, especially for those of us who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder. Right, and so it is so relative to our well-being. The Bible says I wish it were all things, that you would prosper and be in good health, even as your soul prospers and we don't sometimes realize that that means your well-being, right Even as you become mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally well. I wish that you would prosper in that, and and so we have to keep using our bodies, our minds, our creativity, our time wisely, so that we don't lose what God is giving us to use to glorify Him and to enrich our own lives.
Speaker 1:Let's discuss how the term use it or lose it applies even to the mind, to the brain, to the creativity, to the talents that you're given, you know, because, again, anything that you don't use can atrophy, can shrink, can dissipate, can disappear, can dissolve. Now, when our, when our, now when our brains aren't stimulated, when we are actively using our brain, whether it be in the form of lifelong learning, whether it be in the form of creativity, volunteering, engaging in creative hobbies when our, when our brains aren't stimulated, we actually run the risk of cognitive decline in in the form of reduced thinking skills, memory and creativity. You know we actually run that risk of those, those functions of decline. You remember I said in the beginning that use of the term use it or lose it basically implies that whatever you are not regularly regularly using, whatever function you are not regularly using, you will run the risk of losing. And so, again, that applies even to the mind, to the brain, to the creativity, to the talents, to the gifts that we have been giving. We need to constantly be using them, firstly to glorify God, and then for the benefits of others, and then also to enrich our own lives, right, to have a sense of purpose.
Speaker 1:I'm reminded, actually, of a story in the Bible, because here we go, right, y'all know I'm going to apply scripture. But I'm reminded of a story in the Bible called the parable of the sword, or the parable of the talents. Right, and the parable describes a man. It says the kingdom of heaven is like a man who is going on a long journey and before he goes to the parts for this long journey, he calls his servants. He calls three servants and he gives them talents. Right, and to one servant he gave five talents. To another servant he gave two talents. And to another servant he gave one talent. Now the Bible records it like this. It says that the to the one he gave five talents, he doubled his talents, he invested them, he used them and gained five more, so that he now had 10 talents. To the one he gave, two talents doubled he did the same thing, invested them, used them, he gained two more talents and so now he had four talents. But the Bible says to the one that he gave the one talent to, he was afraid right, and so he hid his talent, he buried his talent in the earth.
Speaker 1:Then the man who went on this long journey comes back to return, basically, and he wants to give an account. He wants them to give an account as to what they've done with their talents, with their creativity, with their brain, with their potential right. And again to the one he gave the five talents to, he said, master, I've traded them, which basically means I invested in them and I gained five more. And in the the, the man's reply to the servant is well done, my good and faithful servant. You've been faithful over a few. I'm going to make you ruler over much right. And so the man also says this to the servant to which he's given two talents, to, who doubled his talents as well, to four talents, he says well done, my good and faithful servant. You've been sorry, you've been faithful over a little. I'm going to make you ruler over much, I know, I was checking it up.
Speaker 1:Now to the one he gave the one talent to, who didn't do anything with it, right, who literally wasted his talent, who buried his talent, who hid his talent. To that one, he calls him wicked and lazy. And now, when I first read this, I was like dang Jesus, wicked and lazy, like he. The man said he was afraid, but regardless of the reason, why, see, there's that trauma, there is that fear, there is that that interpretation. But to the one he gave the one talent to, who basically hid it, who buried it and didn't do anything with this, with his talent, with his creativity, with his mind right, with his potential, to that one, then the man says you wicked and lazy servant. He calls him wicked and lazy and I was like dang, that's kind of harsh, you have to call him wicked and lazy. But he says, basically, you didn't do anything with what I gave you. And he said to him furthermore, since you didn't do anything with what I gave you, what you do have, will be taken away from you and given to the one who has 10 talents, and so that's a classic example of what you don't use, you will lose.
Speaker 1:It's twofold, right? It just goes to show you that, even in your gifting, even in your gifting, whatever your gifting is, whatever the measure it is that God has given you, you need to be actively using it, like again, and whether it's through lifelong learning, whether it is through sharpening your skills, right Whether it is maintaining creative hobbies and creative outlets writing and dance, and things that you find natural affinities for, they, in most cases, are linked to your gifts and your talents, and so that parable reminds me on a spiritual aspect as well as natural. It basically reinstates what you don't use, what you're going to lose, right? I don't want God to come back, I don't want to go before the Lord, and he said to me you wicked and lazy servant, I don't want him to say that to me. You didn't use what I gave you, and so now, not only are you going to lose it, right, but you will have to bear with the fact that you didn't even reach your potential, that you did nothing with where I gave, like I can't deal with that. I can't deal with that shame.
Speaker 1:And so that's also Proof that we need to be again reading, learning a new skill, engaging in creative hobbies. We need to be appreciative of our gifts and talents and utilizing them, first of all to glorify God, to benefit others, and then again for our own enrichment. Right, because you don't want to you, you don't want to lose what you've been given. The body says that everybody has been given, been given a measure, right, and you know just like in this parable, some was, were given more than others. But whatever you have been given you need to be using.
Speaker 1:And this Message hits home for me because, like I said, I'm struggling with consistency in the podcast, life's life thing, discouragement, you know, whatever you know, just things happening with me personally. It's this message, as well as that scripture, kind of soars me up to realize like, listen, you can't be around here wasting time. You can't be around here wasting your gift. You can't be around here wasting potential. Do you want God to come back and say what did you do with what I gave you right? And do you want God to really come back and call you wicked and lazy. He's not gonna want to hear your excuses. He's not gonna want to hear you were discouraged.
Speaker 1:You were afraid because the man had a valid point. He said I was afraid. He said I knew that you were a man that reaped where you did not. So basically, he knew that this landowner will require for him what he did not actually plan right. But regardless of the reason why he didn't use his gifts, he still didn't use his gift.
Speaker 1:And the Bible says that this man was referred, was considered wicked and lazy. I don't want that for me. I don't want that for me. I can't deal with God calling me wicked and lazy, like, listen, you can call me anything else, but not wicked. I Don't want to be wicked, right? Not lazy. Lord, please don't let me be lazy.
Speaker 1:But that means again, use what you have. Use it to the best of your ability, use it to your God-given potential. Use it. And when you feel like you can't use it, when you feel discouraged, when you feel like you know what God I don't know this working out, just don't feel like it's using anything. Do what you can and ask God for the strength to do, to help you, to do what you can to help you to rise to the occasion because you want to do something, you want to show effort, you want to do something with what God is giving you.
Speaker 1:Now, another area that I want to See how the term you through moves that applies to is time. We know that life is short, but sometimes we don't really take into consideration the way that we use our time or misuse our time. I know in recent years I have become more aware of my time, how I use it, how much time I have. You know what I have to do with my time, how I can do more with my time. Like I've become a little bit, not obsessive, but just a little bit more clear on how I use my time, even daily, right, like, okay, this particular point or the start of the day, I'm gonna do my workout, I'm gonna do my meditation, I'm going to do my journaling, you know, whatever it is, I want to like to do that in the morning, you know, and in the afternoon you maybe work on something creatively and then, you know, maybe in the evening, when the girls come home, I like to start kind of getting ready for dinner and things like that. But I try to compartmentalize my activities based on, you know, the time that I have in the day to perform them. And it's become, it's made me more aware of the time that I have, right, it's made me more appreciative of the time I have.
Speaker 1:But again, when we think about the term, you know, use it or lose it. We don't often, you know, consider that when it comes to time, because sometimes we're under the misconception that we have more time than we do. We don't know. The Bible says no one knows that they know the hour that not only will Jesus return, but we don't even know much, how much time we have In the earth to do what God has called us to do, or to even be here, right? I believe that everyone's purpose and Place on this earth is time-sensitive. Everybody's, your purpose and your place on the earth is time-sensitive. That means that there is a time frame in which God has a lot for you to get done what you were created to do right, who you were created to affect. What you were created to be right, whose lives you were created to change. And when we think about that term, use it or lose it. Again, sometimes we don't even consider that when it comes to time. But you can literally use time because you can waste time.
Speaker 1:I think about the time I wasted, whether it be to wrong relationships, in cycles, in circles, just in wrong mindsets and thinking patterns. There was time in my life that I can't get back right. I think about the time that I lost to trauma, some of the events and experiences that I have gone through, where I lost blocks of time, like even when I consider one of the diagnoses that I have post-traumatic stress disorder. For a lot of people who suffer from that feel stuck in time or feel like time is moving in slow motion, when the reality of it is time is consistently moving. You aren't right, because your mind is still in that place where you were traumatized and we don't often take that in consideration. Whether you've been affected by trauma or not, you still should be more cognizant of how you use your time. Now I'm not saying that we should walk around in fear that at any given moment our time could run out, but I think that we should be more appreciative, more honoring. We should treat our time more secretly than we do, because we don't know how much time we have and we can't really afford to lose, to waste time right, we can't even afford that.
Speaker 1:Time is the only currency that you can't make back up, like, if you lose money, you can make money right, you can make money again. You can go out there, work a job or do whatever you gotta do to sell something. You can make that money back, but you cannot. There's no time stored, there's nowhere where you can say, hey, give me some more time. I remember that movie. There was actually a movie called Out of Time where they were actually fictitiously able to buy more time, but the reality of it is we cannot buy more time. There's nowhere we can get more time. No matter who you are, how wealthy you are, how affluent you are, how influential you are, you cannot obtain more time than you have, than what has already been allotted for you. So we have to be mindful of that, not to use and waste our time, because when we don't use our time wisely, we definitely lose it wastefully.
Speaker 1:Like the misuse of time also is a product of distraction and procrastination. Like when you think about the times where you could have been and should have been doing this or that and you were distracted, for whatever the reason was right, by life or circumstances or situations, whatever the case may be, or times where you were procrastinating, whether it be because of fear or lack of support or just feeling like you couldn't do it. You may have procrastinated, but that's still a loss of time, right? It is said that procrastination is the arrogant assumption that God will give you more time tomorrow to do what you could have done today. The arrogant assumption that God will give you, or owes you, more time to do tomorrow what you could have done today. Wow, don't let me arrogantly assume that I have more time to do tomorrow what I could do today. Don't let me put off for tomorrow what can be done today.
Speaker 1:But distraction and procrastination and mismanagement of time. It actually increases stress, anxiety and it debilitates the ability to have a work-life balance. Like you can't even maintain balance. Right, and I'm reminded again of another scripture in the Bible, and I like this. Why I love the Bible? Because the Bible says that God has given you everything that you need as it pertains to life and godliness. But what I love about the Bible is there is nothing that you can experience, that you can face, that you can go through, where you can't find a remedy, a solution for in the Bible.
Speaker 1:There's a scripture in the Bible and I'm not gonna quote the address because I'm not exactly sure, but you can Google it the scripture in the Bible that talks about the sons of Izzikar. And the Bible says that the sons of Izzikar were aware of the times that they lived in and they behaved, they operated, they lived their lives in such a way because of this cognizance right, because of the cognizance of the times that they were living in. Psalms 90 and 12 says so teach us to number our days so that we may apply our hearts to wisdom. That basically means teach us to respect the time that you have given us so that we use it wisely, because if we don't use wisely, we will lose wastefully.
Speaker 1:And I have become so much more adamant about my time. I don't want people wasting my time. I don't wanna be a waste of time myself. I like to set I've gotten ahead, but where I've set these little alarms like I'm gonna chill for this amount of time, right, I'm gonna relax for them. I like to play this little Tetris game on my phone and I'm like, okay, eve, I'm gonna give myself, you know, 15, 15, 20 minutes to play this game and then after that we're gonna go do something creative, or after that we're gonna move on to the next task. But I like to compartmentalize my time because I like to feel like I'm getting the most I can out of the time that I have, instead of you look up and you're like dad, I don't waste three, four hours doing nothing. Right, that you cannot get back. And so, again, we have to be mindful of that. What you don't use, you will lose.
Speaker 1:Even when it comes to time Like I don't think we are that we spend enough time with that realization. There is no time store. You can go to the bank and get more money, right, if you have it in there, you can earn more money right. You can go big, buy more clothes, you can get cars, you can do all of these things right, where there's like some sort of trade and barter system. You give me the money, I'll give you the, the service, the quality or the good right. But you cannot purchase time and you can't do anything to earn it.
Speaker 1:And in most cases, whatever you're doing, whether it's waste, whether it's procrastinating, whether it's even when you're doing nothing, you're doing something. You're wasting time because even when you're not doing anything, you're still using that time to do nothing, right? So think about that when you're, when you have those periods where you are doing nothing, you're using time to do nothing, and I'm not saying you got to be busy all the time. I use this time that you should have for stillness, for meditation, for rest, right. All of that is important To your health and your well-being.
Speaker 1:But we have to start to consider those things like how did I use my time today? How am I using my time in this moment? How will I use my time tomorrow? Right? Let me be so appreciative of the time that I have, even though I may not understand the Communitative time that I have, that I might not know the total time that I have, right, like I'm always concerned about, well, how much time is this gonna take me, right, and how much time do I have to do this? I may not be aware of how much time I have to physically be alive, to be here on earth, but I am aware that in any given day, there's 24 hours in the day, and if the Lord allows me to see those 24 hours, then I better get a jumpstart on how I use them so I won't lose them right? It's important, it's so very Important how we use our time.
Speaker 1:So, guys, let's be mindful, right. Let's take into deeper consideration that term use it or lose it. Let's understand that this applies to every area of our life. Again, it can apply to our bodies, right. It can apply to our brains, to our mind, to our creativity, to the gifts and talents that God has given us right. It can also apply to the way that we use our time, our energy, how it is spent.
Speaker 1:And Knowing that the fact that if we don't use it wisely, we will lose it foolishly, should spark an indignation, a righteous indignation, to make ourselves be more of Stewards, right. One of my prayers is that I steward well what God has given me, and sometimes we think of stewardship as just being, you know, a good steward of your money, right, being a good financier, taking care of your money, paying your bills on time, budgeting wisely. But we need to be good stewards of our bodies, the temple of the living God. We need to be good stewards of the brains, the minds, the intellect that God has given us with, again, lifelong learning, challenging ourselves, doing different things that keep us sharp in our minds. We need to be cognizant, again, of the way that we use our time and how to make sure that we're making the most or getting the most out Of our time and not just wasting it.
Speaker 1:Right, time is winding up all. It's not like time is standing still. We head into the weekend. Friday morning comes, you might take a nap and wake up, and now it's Monday morning, right? So we just need to be mindful of all of these things. We need to take consideration that what we don't use wisely, we will lose wastefully.
Speaker 1:That wraps up today's episode. I pray that you got something out of it, I pray that you were encouraged and I pray that there's a fire, a new fire being lit under you that Encourages you, that strengthens you, that motivates you to take better care of all of the things we mentioned your body, your soul is your mind, your time, your money, everything that God has given you. I pray that you will have the Mindset, the strength they're where with all to use it or, unfortunately, lose it. Thanks so much for tuning in. Listen.
Speaker 1:If you'd like to be a part of the show, maybe you want to come on and share your testimony. Maybe you want to ask a question. Maybe you want to Get help on how to navigate, how to identify, navigate and recover from traumatic experiences. By all means, feel free to Message me. If you take a look at the show notes on each episode, you'll see my contact information. I am miss evil all of my socials, so you can find me tiktok, instagram, facebook and youtube. So if you want to contact me there, you can. And again, if you have a question or interest on being on the show, please let me know again. Thank you so much for your time. God bless you and remember now Thanks being to God, who always causes us to triumph. That's technically right, the incident of working. All right, y'all have a blessed one. Bye you. You.