Triumph Over Trauma!
Triumph Over Trauma!
Jenvon's Story: Pt.2
Is it possible to triumph over profound adversity and find a renewed sense of purpose? Join us as we welcome back Jen Vonn for a deeply moving continuation of her story in "Triumph Over Trauma." Jen's courageous recount of living with a traumatic brain injury (TBI) sheds light on the complex challenges she's faced with speech and understanding. She reveals her decision to opt for medication over surgery to manage seizures, preserving her language and personality traits. Jen's journey is not just about coping but thriving against the odds, as we also touch on her parents' legal battles to hold her school accountable for the incident leading to her injury.
How does faith interplay with mental health in a world that's increasingly recognizing the importance of both? In "Faith, Mental Health, and Generational Influence," we examine the evolving landscape of mental health within faith communities. This conversation stresses the necessity of professional counseling along with spiritual practices, we spotlight the shift in attitudes across generations, recognizing the role of therapy in fostering holistic well-being and the courage it takes to break cycles of secrecy and neglect.
- What is Trauma? Trauma is a deeply distressing or disturbing experience. An emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, rape, abuse, neglect or natural disaster.
- How to cope with Trauma Talk to a few trusted people, open up about your struggle, seek online support groups, read self-help books or practice small acts of self-care such as meditation, breathwork, yoga and exercise can help you regain some feeling of control.”
- Find a therapist Get Started (betterhelp.com)
Online Psychiatric Medication & Mental Telehealth Services - Rx Anxiety, Depression & Insomnia Treatment | Cerebral - Triumph Over Trauma Scripture: II Corinthians 2:14 Now thanks be unto to God, who always causes us to Triumph in Christ....
- Books I'm reading on my healing journey.
- It Didn't Start with You! - How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes who we are, & how to end the cycle. https://a.co/d/f22BoLk
Home Coming- Thema Bryant
https://www.amazon.com/dp/059341831X/ref=cm_sw_r_em_api_i_TE4YHJQ63FA21362FP79
The Body Keeps the Score <
2 Corinthians 2:14 Now thanks be unto God, who always causes us to Triumph!
Hey y'all, welcome to Triumph Over Trauma, the podcast. Listen y'all. I created this podcast because, like so many other people, I've had a traumatic past. I didn't always realize how those things affected me negatively and how I even carried them into my adult life, and so I wanted to create a space where other people could come and we could have candid conversations on how you identify trauma, how do you navigate it and how you recover from traumatic experiences. If this resonates with you, then join me. I am your host and trauma survivor, ms Eve McNair. Let's get into it. What's up guys? Welcome back to Triumph Over Trauma. I know it's been a few weeks now. I think it's been about three weeks since the last episode aired. That episode was called Jen Vonn's Story the Power of Advocacy and Resilience. Listen.
Speaker 1:Her story was so phenomenal to me that I actually had to re-interview her. As I was editing the last episode I was like, oh, my goodness, I got some follow-up questions I need to ask her. So this week's episode it's part two is those follow-up questions that I had to ask her. So this week's episode it's part two is those follow up questions that I had to ask her. And I'm sure after you listen to the first episode of her story. You will be wondering the same thing that I was before I re-entered her or re-interviewed her. Rather, anyways, grab your tissue, your popcorn, your Bible, your journal, whatever it is that you need, because I'm pretty sure you're going to laugh, cry and pray after hearing her response to some of the questions I asked. Thanks again for joining me here. I'll talk to you soon. I was listening to the playback and getting ready for the edit. Oh, I should have asked her this. Oh, I should have. You know so, but such a phenomenal story. You know so, but such a phenomenal story. I can't wait to hear it. So I just have a few questions.
Speaker 1:I know that you said that a fragment of the pencil actually drifted into your brain right Now. That's considered a traumatic brain injury, a TBI, right? Yes? Yes, it is Okay, and I know you said it was on the left side. Did you say that On the left side? Did you say that on the left side? Yes, and I thought to myself like the left side of the brain, I think it's, it's responsible for like language, for like thinking, logic, verbal information I'm assuming that you've had. I mean to hear from you, to speak to you? I cannot, I wouldn't be able to tell that, but I'm assuming that there had to be some sort of challenging cognitively for you. Can you speak to that sure? So you are absolutely correct. The left side of the brain does, um, work with the language and actually writing.
Speaker 1:So I have not had the surgery to decrease my seizures or stop my seizures. One, because I don't have like 30 40 seizures a day like other people. My seizures were probably like twice a month. Okay, I'm great, depending on. So I chose the route to take medication. The second reason is because the left side of the brain is concentrated on the language um, writing, speaking. I would have honestly had to learn how to speak, write and talk again, and I was not prepared for that. Wow. So if we had the surgery, that would have been. Yes, yeah, that's one of the even though you know it's like 80 70 proof that things will get better. But I just chose not to.
Speaker 1:I am very, um, I'm very, I'm an introvert. I'm also, you know, outgoing person. I did not want my personality to be taken away from me after surgery. Yeah, I want to not be myself, right, those not to move forward with surgery, but I do have cognitive issues. That's another reason why I'm not working anymore, because my common issues declined in the past 10 years and literally got worse. In the past two, three years. My cognitive issues definitely declined as far as, like sometimes my language speech can be slurred or slowed down. I don't understand things as quickly as my peers, it takes me a little minute and it can be embarrassing, but just part of the journey. When you do have epilepsy, when you do have a traumatic brain injury, those are just some of the things that you do have to work around.
Speaker 1:Well, again, like I said, to hear from you to look at you, that's not something I can readily pick up. So, again, kudos to you. You're doing a phenomenal job. I'm pretty sure there's so much behind the scenes work that you have to do in order to stay sharp and you spoke to somebody that with your regimen and things that you do for self-care, so that's amazing. Again, I'm just in awe. I'm literally in awe.
Speaker 1:Now you know, as I think about what you said, and it's even how this incident happened, and immediately I'm like wait a minute. First of all, the school. This incident happened and immediately I'm like wait a minute. First of all, the school. I want to say I felt like it was such an injustice, I mean on so many levels. I'm like the boy did what, like what happened so immediately I'm like, who do we need to pull up? Like you know, were there any, any legal ramifications that they try to, you know, remedy the situation in any capacity? So I was out of, like I said, I was out of school for four months. Okay, during that four months my parents did attempt to sue the school for not letting them know that something like that traumatic happened. Like I said, it was 1980. If this were to happen in 2024, it would be canceled, shut down. But in 1989 it was I remember being on the witness stand telling the judge and the witnesses, the people in the courtroom, would happen.
Speaker 1:But long long story short, we didn't get anything, not even hospital bills paid for. So the little boy and his family moved. Two weeks after the incident, when I came back to school, he was no longer there. And keep in mind like this school was like where military kids went, because we were all. So I'm not going to say that he moved because he was stationed somewhere else, but that incident happened and two weeks later he was no longer in my class. Wow, so, you know, try to suit the school, but nothing happened. We got nothing.
Speaker 1:And I hear the same thing from a lot of people right, right, can't we find him? He needs to be just, justice, justice, justice. He doesn't even know, like, how he affected you, and I'm sure he doesn't. I mean, we were both so young. But friends will say, but his parents knew that what he did was wrong and they just moved. But yeah, I'm not gonna lie, like we have definitely did a search, but we just haven't, you know, looked up to find anything. But you know it is what it is.
Speaker 1:At this point, yeah, yeah, um, very, very noble, mature and godly of your parents to have instilled what seems to be the power of forgiveness, the power of letting go, letting God. What comes to mind, of course, is the scripture vengeance is mine, save the Lord. But I know in that moment you're like I'm going to take the vengeance, I'm going to get my leg back, but I know that God is God and God is just and he is sovereign, and it's not necessarily that. You know the human side of us. Of course. You know we want to fight, you know we want to pull up for him. But, at the end of the day, to see you triumph in way that you are is, um, just such a stop on the devil's head.
Speaker 1:Anyway, you know, um, regardless of who he used, how things went down, it was definitely a huge negligence and they are, you know, responsible. But I, I would like to think, and I'd like to think in terms of when we think about our traumas and our other things that we've gone through, especially to no fault of our own. What gives me solace is that knowing that god is just, god is sovereign, and he will see that we are paid back in a way in which you know we need to deserve to be, and that and that's where the person's responsible as well. So, um, well, the way I look at it, you, you know he or his parents may not have been targeted and maybe charged or rectified for anything, but I just think my mom has taught me to have faith and see that the grass on the other side can be greener. It's just about how you maneuver, how you go about it and, honestly, for years I was angry, but it was just like god telling me are you going to be angry? Are you going to do something about it. Which one are you going to do? So I just chose to do something about it. You know, I can't um punish him for what he has done, but what I can do is turn this into a positive situation or a positive narrative and help others who are like myself. Wow, amen, agreed, totally agree.
Speaker 1:Now, you spoke earlier about therapy, and again I wanted to thank you for pointing out the benefits of therapy, because, again, there's so much stigma associated with trauma, mental health in general, especially for our types of community, our community. Um, what would you say to someone who's like kind of on a fence, questioning whether or not, uh, therapy is like truly beneficial? I I watched this movie called uh a sunny day in oakland and just to get a brief synopsis about this psychologist who opens up shop in a small kind of like neighborhood. It's a storefront shop, and all of the people in that district that also have businesses they're like what is this psychologist doing here? We don't need no psychologist. They were calling her a head straight. But I say all of that to say what? All of that to say? What would you say to somebody who's like is this even real? Do we even need this. Is this going to help me? You know which are some of the things that they were facing in the movie as well, you know so. You know you, especially in our community.
Speaker 1:We get pray about it, um, take it to god. We get go to church and go to the altar and pray, and there's nothing wrong with any of those options. But if we know God, we know that God gives people individual purposes, masters, whatever, however they choose to live their lives or their careers. He puts people in position to help you flourish. Except you need to figure out if you want to take those tools. So I decided to take those tools, even though to this day, I get, girl, you should just pray about it. Girl, you should just write in your journal. But sometimes you need an outlet that's not a friend or a family member. You need a different type of outlet to help you navigate those challenging moments that you have in life, and that's what this does for me. I think it's um helpful.
Speaker 1:I think you're going to speak to someone especially dealing with the trauma that I've gone through. Helping you maneuver that, even like past trauma, that's what a therapist is for. You know, of course I'm gonna go to god. I'm gonna pray on my knees when I go to church, but what I'm also going to do is help those tools that he's had. He has people designated for, like a therapist, to go sit down in their chair. I think it's healthy, it helps me deal with my epilepsy, it helps me deal with life in general. So I really think it's important, when you have a chronic illness that's invisible, to help you deal with it everyday ups and downs of life. I just think it's essential. Yeah, yeah, I love that. I love that.
Speaker 1:I love that you spoke to the validity of it and what the benefits have been for you, especially, like you said, in communities of faith. Word that those, those things are said, like you said, in communities of faith, where those things are said, like you know, just pray, give it to God. But I think sometimes we forget that there's a scripture that says, in the multitude of counsel there is safety, right. So counsel is beneficial, right, even the scripture that describes God as having this spirit of counsel and, like you said, he gives that gift to individuals to be a benefit to us, right, um. So I love that, because sometimes I think there's this, um, false guilt that we have, or ashamed that the devil wants to give people, especially in faith and communities of faith, like, if I go to council, if I go to therapy, I'm not trusting god, right, um, but my faith is not strong enough if, if I have to speak to someone. You know but it's so funny that it works that way, that that, that that mindset is set up that way, or a system that the enemy sets up, you know why?
Speaker 1:Because the generations before us, like my mom, my grandmother, my aunties, they didn't go to therapy, they didn't us dived so heavy into their faith and what they taught us was was also the same thing, but at the same thing. At the same time, the generation before us didn't know about self-care. A part of self-care is going to therapy. You want to have a healthy mental health is important, right. And the generation before us I look at my mom, my God bless the dead my granny, my aunt. They just were women that fought through anything. They didn't go to sit down and talk to anyone. But we live in a world today where mental health is a top priority and going to speak to someone is important. So I think that's why a lot of the generation that we see now was just like mental health and self-care. I never saw anyone in my family older than me talk about any type of self-care. Right, right, right, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:I remember thinking when I was younger if, if I were to come to my grandpa my grandparents raised me if I were to come to them and say, you know, I'm feeling depressed, I think their response would have been like go in there and depress them, you know, and like it was like a catch-22, because I think, on the one hand, they were trying to instill a strength in you. Like you know, don't let it put you down, just keep on going, keep on going. And while I can appreciate that I have also come to, like you said, I've also come to understand the importance of mental health. I mean and if you look at it with to me, I try to look at it with a spiritual lens I really believe that the Lord is wanting to do something in the mental health space and it relates to people of faith and even in the world at large. But there's such a magnifying glass now that you hear traumas being spoken about at large, where we were used to keeping secrets, like you said, keeping these things in the dark, keeping secrets, like you said, keeping these things in the dark, and you can see how keeping that mindset or having that behavior, where we keep things in secrecy, where we hide it or where we ignore it, it starts to break you down. It does, and there's such a destructive behavior on the long haul that comes with avoidance. You can still have faith and pray to God concerning your situation, but I think there's a fine line between having faith in God and using it as a tool to avoid. You know the pain or the trauma or the things that you know seem scary. You know scary in life, and so I love that you have such a balance between faith and mental health and the practicality that comes with seeking a mental health professional.
Speaker 1:Certainly now you spoke again such a so highly about your mother's spirit, spirituality and how, especially in the early years of your diagnosis, it was so beneficial to you and to even to her, monitoring how you would develop and the symptoms that she would see, and it sounds like she has passed on a legacy or basically laid the foundation for your faith. How important to you would you say that influenced your own walk with the Lord. Was it a struggle like you accepting God's will or that this happened to you, or was it just? Was it easier in that regard? Because that foundation was there? Um, I think it was always easy, um, seeing my mom my God blessed that my granny and my aunt instilling in me at such a young age what and who God was, not just to them, but allowing me to seek out and find out who God was to myself.
Speaker 1:On this journey and there were many days where I questioned him and why. But I always go back to before we were even created. God knew the story of my life, so it was more of acceptance on my part. I need you to accept these things. I need you to accept this because on the other side, there's a lot of gifts, there's blessings I have for you, but you're not.
Speaker 1:I wasn't ready for a long time. I was not ready. I was and I shouldn't say I'm not I wasn't ready, I was afraid of being on the other side. When I became confident in my relationship with God and as soon as I allowed myself to be vulnerable with him, I'm able to see the purpose of what I'm supposed to be doing and I feel as though, if you have a relationship with God, um you, he'll show you. You just supposed to be doing. And I feel as though, if you have a relationship with God, he'll show you. You just have to pay attention.
Speaker 1:You know I 20 years ago, when I would pray to him. And why this? Why me? Why am I struggling with cognitive issues? I can't do this. Now I see, 20 years later, that he had already had all this stuff in the making. Amen, that's awesome. That's awesome, and I feel like that's what faith is all about. It's trusting God in the unknown, trusting God, as they would say. Well, you can't trace them, you know, even when you don't understand. I think it develops such an appreciation for his sovereignty, also for his ability to support us in those times.
Speaker 1:Right, I say this about my life that I have always been at a turtle speed, and a turtle is very slow. A turtle has its own pace. How they maneuver, yes, like god decided to to bless me at a turtle space, because I know that's weird and I don't even know. I love that analogy. You know, when a turtle has their walk slow, you know they hide, sometimes for months at a time, and I feel like that's what God did for me for a while. He hid, not in a bad way, but it was the hiding for me, because I had to learn who Jen Vaughn really was and I also had to learn who Jen Vaughn was in Christ. Wow, yeah, wow, that's deep. I love that, that's awesome.
Speaker 1:And sometimes I think about my own processing speed, like you know, when I look back at some of the traumatic things that I have experienced and how it has affected me mentally, emotionally, cognitively. You know, of course, there are times where I come to God and I say like, wow, I can't believe that it took me so long to get that. I can't believe that. I didn't understand that. And I remember thinking like God, okay, if I'm slow, just say that. Like, how come I'm not picking up what you putting down, but you even mean appreciation for just God allowing us to be in that space when sometimes we just don't get it. You know, yeah, we don't get it. We don't get it. And I'm going to be transparent. I don't know if I spoke about this I'm not able to have kids due to my epilepsy. I'm not able to have kids due to my epilepsy. I'm older.
Speaker 1:Dealing with the fact that I'm, you know, you're around people that are mothers and you feel, hmm, why, why not me? I know my mother is wonderful. I would love to teach my child all these things, but God blessed me with nieces and nephews and I may not have been able to give birth naturally, but I have nieces and nephews that look at me adoringly. I love that so much and you know, I think about still at 41, I still think about having kids, but I also think that what I have created is my baby, this nonprofit organization I have birthed from nothing and now, five years later, we in it. We in it. Wow, that's awesome.
Speaker 1:I mean, I can't appreciate you enough for such a positive outlook and attitude. That's going to help somebody, because sometimes we want to have our own pity party and what with me. And not that you are not deserving of it, because, like I said, when you think about some of the effects or some of the ways that this has affected your entire life, we can say, okay, girl, yeah, you deserve to be mad at the world. I'm coming over to party with you. I got some stuff I want to complain about too, but it just helps you to look at it Like sometimes we take so much for granted and it just makes you just be all the more thankful and grateful because someone else is going through something you know and handling it and mastering it in a way that we feel like, oh, my God, I don't even know if I would do, you know, if that were me.
Speaker 1:So, again, just speaks to such that I'm reminded of that scripture that says I'll give you grace. Um, my grace is sufficient for you. God's grace in your life is literally sufficient for you to to walk through what you're walking through, and sometimes you don't realize, you know, we think, oh, but it's literally sufficient for your situation, for your circumstance, for your life's work. And I'm literally seeing evidence of the grace of god over my life and it just makes you more, more cognizant. Yes, it does, it really does well. Again, thank you so much.
Speaker 1:I just had those follow-up questions. I was like, hopefully, okay, I'm going to listen to it again and hopefully I won't come up with no more. But my wheels started turning and I was like, oh, wait a minute, I got to go back. I said she's going to be like lady, leave me. No, no, no, probably not, I don't mind at all. Thank you so much for your time today. Thank you, okay, guys. That is all for today.
Speaker 1:I pray that you are encouraged, inspired, motivated to live life outside of the bounds of the trauma that you have experienced. Listen, don't forget this episode is a part of a new series called your Story, where we're looking to hear from you. We've all gone through something. We've all experienced something traumatic, something that might've been devastating, something that might've changed the course of our lives forever. I want to hear from you. Please get in touch with me. The links are in the show notes. There are other resources as well books I'm reading, links to therapists and things of that nature but there's also ways to contact me and get in touch with me. I am Miss Eve on all of my socials Facebook, instagram and TikTok. Get in touch with me. Let me hear from you so that we can set up an opportunity for you to be a part of this show and share your story. Thanks so much for tuning in today and remember now thanks be unto God, who always causes us to triumph. God bless you, thank you.