Triumph Over Trauma!
Triumph Over Trauma!
Redefining Resilience w/ Therapist Brittany Banks
What happens when trauma isn't just in your mind, but stored in your body? This profound conversation with Licensed Professional Counselor Brittany Banks reveals the hidden physical toll of unprocessed emotional pain and offers a roadmap for genuine healing.
Brittany shares startling insights about how stress hormones physically manifest when we don't address our mental health: "Your tears actually have stress hormones in them. That's your body's way of trying to release this thing out of you." This connection between mental and physical wellbeing forms the foundation of a wide-ranging discussion that tackles everything from cultural stigmas to faith perspectives on therapy.
For those raised in communities where strength means silence, Brittany redefines what resilience truly looks like. "Strength does not mean that you isolate and keep people out... It does not mean you cannot express emotion." This redefinition creates space for vulnerability as a pathway toward healing rather than a sign of weakness.
Get in touch with the guest and I
Ms Eve's Linktree info - https://linktr.ee/IAMMSEVE?utm_source=linktree_
Brittany's Tiktok- https://www.tiktok.com/@the.cozy_place?_t=ZP-8wsDybIAXWg&_r=1
Brittany's Instagram -Brittany Banks| Licensed Therapist (@the.cozy_place) • Instagram photosandvideosinstagram.com
Therapy Services: w/ Brittany Banks LPC on headway - https://care.headway.co/providers/brittany-banks?utm_source=pem&utm_medium=direct_link&utm_campaign=103654
Books I'm reading on my healing journey.
- It Didn't Start with You! - How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are by Mark Woolen
- Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome- Dr Joy Degruy
- The Body Keeps The Score- Bessel van Der Kolk
2 Corinthians 2:14 Now thanks be unto God, who always causes us to Triumph!
2 Corinthians 2:14 Now thanks be unto God, who always causes us to Triumph!
Hey y'all, welcome to Triumph Over Trauma, the podcast. Listen y'all. I created this podcast because, like so many other people, I've had a traumatic past. I didn't always realize how those things affected me negatively and how I even carried them into my adult life, and so I wanted to create a space where other people could come and we could have candid conversations on how you identify trauma, how do you navigate it and how you recover from traumatic experiences. If this resonates with you, then join me. I am your host and trauma survivor, ms Eve McNair. Let's get into it. Welcome back to triumph over trauma.
Speaker 1:Guys, we are continuing our conversation regarding mental health and I have a very special guest with me, Ms Brittany Banks. I came across Brittany's content on TikTok and I was like, oh, wait, a minute, I have to have her on the show. She was spitting some facts about medication and this. It was kind of with a little pun, little twist, but it made so much sense and I'm like you know what? This is the awareness, this is the attention that this topic needs, so I thought it would be just fitting to have her on the show with us today. Brittany, welcome to the show. How are you?
Speaker 2:Hi, thank you. Thank you, I'm great. How are you?
Speaker 1:I'm doing well also. I'm doing well. I'm just looking forward to all things new this month.
Speaker 2:For sure you came so quickly.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, I felt like it was just may, and then I woke up in this june like how is it happening?
Speaker 2:oh my goodness, over that's. That's how time goes. So it sure does it sure waits for nobody.
Speaker 1:Um, wait, listen, we got a lot to cover today, so we're gonna jump right in. Let me just start here first. Britney, are you a social worker?
Speaker 2:I'm actually a licensed professional counselor, so okay, I'm an. Lpc fancy term for mental health therapist.
Speaker 1:Okay, let me give you your accolades. First of all, because we're talking to a professional here. Okay, brittany is a licensed professional counselor. And first of all, I stay in therapy. Okay, my therapist has a therapist. So kudos to that, and the work that you are doing, I know, can be a lot. First of all, just to say the least, it's so necessary though.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, so necessary. So, yeah, I wanted to properly welcome you, of course, but I came across one of your videos, brittany, and it was so funny. It was the one where you were asking your patients did they want? I think it was like. The video said something like do you want Percocet, or something. But you were offering them.
Speaker 2:Okay, I remember that soundbite, yeah.
Speaker 1:But you were basically saying do you want to take your meds, your?
Speaker 1:mental health meds. And I thought it was so funny because sometimes, sometimes, especially when you're new to the mental health journey and you go see a doctor or you go see a therapist and they're saying, okay, coupled with therapy, I need you to take these meds. And you know, sometimes people are like meds I don't even know no medication like. So the video was so funny. You guys will have to go to her tiktok and see, but it was hilarious. That caught my attention and I went up and down and started to view some of her content and I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, we need to talk to her. So we're going to dive right in. My first question is what impact do you think that mental health has on our overall wellbeing and quality of life?
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, that's a big question because it's your mental health. I'll tell you like I tell my clients. That's a big question, cause it's your mental health. I'll tell you like I tell my clients right, our mental health is one portion of our own well-being. Right, in order to be a whole, healthy, well person, you have to be able to tend to your physical health, your mental health, and I also add your spiritual health, because that matters too, right? Any of them are off kilter, out of whack. That's when we start to see difficulties in life, struggles in life they go together.
Speaker 2:You cannot separate them, and I always give people the example. Let's say if you get sick, how? Happy are you? You get a little sick. Start to take that a little bit Right On the severity of the illness right, and of course it can increase if you have a serious diagnosis that leads into depression, anxiety, all sorts of things, so they are very much so connected.
Speaker 1:Wow, wow, awesome. I'm glad you made that connection. Mental health sometimes gets like this back burner to physical illness and illnesses that we consider tangible or that we can see right. I've often seen commercials and rallies around things like breast cancer, things like Alzheimer's and autism, and while we do appreciate the awareness that those events bring and the support that they have concerning them, we do also need that in the mental health community. We need that same attention, that same awareness. We need to also take it seriously when people are dealing with mental health issues.
Speaker 2:I agree People are leading more into that. Now, yeah, now, like in the past five, ten years-ish right yeah, where they think it actually matters is a thing. There was such a heavy stigma attached to it for the long time I would say centuries even Like if something was wrong people would automatically slap labels on you. Oh, they're crazy, or you know. They're not right in the head, right struggling. Some things are chemical imbalances, right we can be handled with, like we said, therapy, medication.
Speaker 2:But then there's also just the human experience, like life is hard right, life is not a cakewalk for most people. So I'm pretty sure most people can identify with something they've been through or didn't have or don't know how to do, or struggle to navigate where it applies to their mental health right. What people don't know long term, how I said, it's connected not tending to mental health concerns can actually cause physical health ailments in you.
Speaker 1:Wow, can you elaborate?
Speaker 2:on that, because I think that's something that we overlook. For sure A lot of people well, I think quite a lot of people have heard, like stress is a silent killer right, it literally can cause heart failure over time, right, Wow, it literally can cause heart failure over time, right, wow? So if you are not tending to stress management, anxiety, depression, any of these things hormonally, your body changes, right, wow, your body changes. You're pumping out stress hormones and if you don't have anywhere to release somatically, right, it stores up in your body.
Speaker 1:Wow, that's interesting because, not to cut you off, I remember reading the book called the body keeps the score by First of all. Like you start reading that book and you were like all this time I've been holding the stress and trauma in the body. Yeah, but that goes to say just like you said, it does manifest physically and people totally overlook that.
Speaker 2:Yes, you can cause stomach problems digestive problems the chemicals.
Speaker 2:They're not meant to be there long term, so you're supposed to process them out. I tell all my clients who don't like to cry I'm like your tears actually have stress hormones in them. That's your body's way of trying to release some of this thing out of you. So every time you're stuffing it it has to find somewhere else to store, and it's never got like a professional massage. A lot of times they're like do you feel that it's not? It's not those little stress pockets that have buried themselves in your muscles. And then they tell you what? Drink a lot of water so that your lymphatic system can flush all that stuff out of you. It can make you sick.
Speaker 1:Wow, that's deep. So next time, listeners, that you go to the doctor and you're experiencing some sort of physical ailment and they're running all sorts of tests on you and your lab work's coming back fine, so to speak, and they can't find a solution to what your problem is, it could very well be stress, unresolved trauma, uh, a a suppressed mental health issue that you were not aware of. So let's take heed to that, because I I can identify with that. I I came to understand or to appreciate mental health because of the trauma I've gone through.
Speaker 1:And when I started to talk about it, when I started to like process it, I remember it would affect my breathing and I'm like, why I'm breathing like this? You know those breathings that you do after you ugly cry and you can like barely catch your breath. It was like, yeah, I'm hyperventilating, I'm trying to tell my story and I can't get it out. It's like, oh, this stuff has been trapped in my body, this stuff has definitely affected me. So I definitely can identify with what you said. Now, why do you think that mental health often is overlooked? You kind of spoke about this, but why do you think it's overlooked compared to physical health?
Speaker 2:The stigma, the stigma, the stigma, that and stereotypes of, especially in the black community right, I can speak to that because I'm part of it. We always feel like we need to be strong, and that's what strength is needs to be redefined. It does not mean that you isolate and keep people out, because we all need for support. It does not mean you cannot express emotion, whether it be sadness, heartbreak or whatever. I think most people are comfortable expressing anger, right, some of the lighter emotions that we experience, but all of them are part of the human experience. There are no bad emotions. There are some that are unfavorable, but there are no bad ones, and so I think, because of how society has shaped, what strength looks like, what masculinity looks like, mental health awareness, mess out that in there, people withdraw or they don't judge for feeling like somebody about your problems.
Speaker 2:You must be right, right, right you must not be right in the head, you must be crazy, all these things right right, they're absolutely not true, and that's why I work so hard to like break that stigma because it's, yeah, it's not what you think it is right, and I'm glad that you said that there are no bad emotions, because when I just know, growing up like we were taught like anger is bad, it's evil.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean and I think about, even like, biblically. You know I'm a believer and so I always try to reflect on the Bible. But I think about even Jesus Christ got mad. He got mad. The Bible don't say don't be angry. It just says be angry and don't sin, right, don't let it cause you to do something you know what I'm saying outside of the will of God. But he never said don't cry, don't be angry. David had righteous indignation, right, like you know, and sometimes, especially in communities of believers, we feel like, oh, it's so taboo to be anything but happy, right, like. But I'm like, if you read the Bible, who went through a plethora of emotions. They used to be like curse the day I die, I wish I was never here. I'm like you can say that you mad, you mad.
Speaker 2:You a big man. It doesn't mean that it was right that he said that, but he was upset, you know, and it just goes to show. These emotions have been here since the beginning of time. It's nothing new. The problem comes in how you handle it. So I tell people this even you can go biblically, you can go therapeutically all emotions are valid. The way you handle those emotions maybe not so much good point.
Speaker 1:Good point. Good to know all emotions are valid.
Speaker 2:The way you handle them may not be right, okay, okay, right, you can be angry, but that doesn't mean you can put hands on people, okay.
Speaker 1:So it's okay for you to have a crash out, as long as your crash out doesn't result in you hurting anybody else or yourself.
Speaker 2:Fair, yes, fair, okay, for sure, I still keep the rage rooms all the time Crash out in there Right Now.
Speaker 1:We know we are both believers and so we kind of touched on our faith and things like that. But how do you think that faith and prayer support mental health and why might professional help still be necessary? Because I'm going to say this really quickly Sometimes in communities of faith, therapy and medicine concerning mental health is kind of looked at as taboo or as if maybe you don't have enough faith because you're not being healed from them, from healed from this particular issue with god alone. So can you speak to the fact how faith can support mental health and then how can professional help still be necessary in some cases?
Speaker 2:okay, I love this question. It's actually one that I go over in my intakes with my clients. Okay, I'm just fyi, I don't label myself as a christian therapist. I'm a therapist who happens to be a christian, because I don't want anybody who's not a christian to feel like, oh, I can't go to her, she won't be able to help me. That is not true, right? And even when I mentioned the spiritual aspect of what we have to get healthy to balance right, who aren't necessarily christian, they kind of like what does that mean? Right? I don't care whether you're atheist, agnostic, christian, muslim, buddhist, whatever, everybody has an aspect of spiritual health that they tend to.
Speaker 2:So, whatever it is that you do, we're gonna figure out how to incorporate it into your mental health. Why does it matter? Because it's normally a foundation of grounding for us practices. It's normally calming in many ways if you're deep diving into whatever your religious practices may be. For me specifically, I know if I'm anxious or if you know I have recent thoughts or whatever the case may be, I can pause and pray, do some breathing exercises. I can pause and listen to worship music. Again, I'm back right around level to be able to function. And so it looks the same for people of other practice. Some people will pause and go do yoga. Some people will pause and, you know, do their crystal work. I have had all sorts of clients that they do what they do, but if it's around you, then you know it brings that peace in it. Now, from a Christian standpoint, you were saying how it's kind of taboo and they look at it like you don't believe in God enough.
Speaker 2:I'm going to say this God has equipped us with everything we need on this earth, whether it be within nature somewhere, or the people he's blessed us with, with the brilliant ideas and minds that they have to create services, to create everything, and I think we have done the body of Christ a disservice by feeling like you can only serve and be in ministry in one way in the church. So you mean to tell me there are no doctors whose God's hands are blessed? You better hope that there are no surgeons, right, come on. No bankers, no financial advisors, right? That is not true. We serve the body of Christ in many different ways and therapy is one of them.
Speaker 2:Therapy was an idea planted in me with God a long time ago as a teenager. He told me I didn't know what it meant or what he said. You know, god is never, always crystal clear, but a long time ago I was. It was a devastating moment in my life. I was having a heartbreak and from just my life circumstances and trauma that I was going through and I was crying like crying a river right and talking about it gosh, it's like breathe. I'm gonna use this pain and things you've been through to help other people, not go, not going to make me right, right, right, tell me what that looks like god and long story short.
Speaker 2:It started the snowball effect of me learning about psychology and mental health and what therapy was. And here I am wow, wow wow you said so much.
Speaker 1:You said so much. I love specifically that you said that there is scripture that says that God has equipped us with everything that we need in this life, and when we are about to apply for a mortgage, we pray that God touched the hand of the mortgage. When we are about to undergo a medical procedure, we pray that god touched the hands of the physician. When we are about to go before a judge, we pray that we say, god, the heart of the king is in your hand. But when we need therapy, when we need mental health resources, when we need tips, when we need wisdom, we we negate to pray to the god, who is the God of wisdom to touch those people that he has raised up specifically for that issue. Right, it's just so funny. It's like where did we get that?
Speaker 1:You know I hate to feel like or sound like a broken record when I know that this theory has probably been mentioned in some other podcasts across the world. But I think that that type of suppression, that type of hiding and faking it until you make it, is stemmed in slavery. I think we're, yeah, where you've had to kind of like put on face and keep them going and pushing and just you know, and then that behavior is kind of learned and taught and generationally you know what I mean. Like I don't see my grandparents go to therapy, so it's so much to uncover there, so much so because you said that.
Speaker 2:I'm glad you said that I'm going to send a book to you and the audience. So, okay, dr joy degray, she wrote a book called post-traumatic slave syndrome. She's a therapist, she's a psychologist and an author, obviously, and it talks about what you just said, like how some of the things that are so deeply rooted in our communities go all the way back to slavery. Wow, and the mindsets that we have about certain things, from how we relate to our children to how we show up in the world as men and women, and all it was rooted in how we had to survive that period ancestrally back then. So, wow, yeah, it was a good read, it's. I'm not gonna lie. There are rough parts because, well, for me that I'm very sensitive to people, their emotions, their experiences and having to be, not having to be because I choose. I read a lot of things, but being reminded of some of the things we went through as people, it was rough. I had to pause.
Speaker 1:I'm just like what? Yeah, I'm like that too. Too, I'm very sensitive. It brings, yeah, yeah, standard too, so I it's a.
Speaker 2:It's a good read. It's a good book.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, so I'll add that to. I have a link, uh, a list of books that I'm actually reading through this, uh, trauma healing, mental health journey that are listed in the show notes, and I'm going to add that one as well. Yeah, I actually thought that we can read, like, do I need to? I was like, maybe we need a, we need a mental health book club as well we need to get a couple things.
Speaker 1:Actually, it's not a bad idea for sure, yeah, we need to get that together now. So we talked, we spoke a little bit about faith, and you know the importance of combining, or I would say the importance of bridging the gap between faith and mental health. Um, I can say that in the, the church that I belong to, the very first time, um, I shared my story about trauma and mental health issues. I shared it on my podcast and I posted the podcast one of the first episodes on my, on my uh, facebook and my. My pastor happened to listen to it and he caught me up and he was like Eve, you have to share this with the church. And I'm like, well, like it was one thing to share over the air, but to be in front of people. I was like, you know, these are people I see every week and I'm like some of them had no ideas for the things I had gone through, let alone struggle with because of what I've gone through. So I was like I don't know, pastor, he was like, no, I need you to share.
Speaker 1:But what I will say is I have been very fortunate to belong to a congregation that gives space to trauma and mental health, because it's not something that you could freely even speak of and, if I dare to say, that sometimes, when you do speak about it, in religious communities everything can be labeled a demon.
Speaker 1:Now, we do know. We do know that we have an adversary and that the devil is real and sometimes, like you said, it could be, there could be chemical imbalances, sometimes mental health issues can be trauma-induced or trauma related. You know all of those things and think, just like you said we do ourself a disservice when we are not educated on these different um aspects, so that we're not always casting the devil out of somebody every week who's at the altar, who may just need a little bit of, who may just need a couple of talk sessions, who may just need some meds. You know what I mean. So my question is how do you think that religious leaders can better support those struggling with mental health challenges or trauma-related challenges? How do you think that they can make a difference?
Speaker 2:I think some of the best pastors also tend to their own mental health. They probably have a therapist right and from what I've seen when they do, they advocate for therapy in the pulpit, they encourage it right. Some churches I've come to find which I am ecstatic about, have an actual ministry in church where they have a therapist who a part of the congregation and they I don't know how they work it out, whether they're employees or they volunteer their time, but you can go there to speak to them about different things in a way. So really just being educated in the know and having tangible resources for people to go seek the help that they need, because another thing people don't talk about it is hard to find a good therapy oh yes, it is.
Speaker 2:The problem is I tell people it's kind of like dating you got to be ready to like try it out a few times and it's like let's go to the next right that's true before you give up. So if it helps, when you have vetted and vouched for resources already available, that you can say, hey, here are a list of therapies that can assist you in these areas they are of the faith or whatever the case may be. I think that would be the best thing. That, uh, any leader in a religious. I love that. I love that.
Speaker 1:I think that's be the best thing that any leader in a religious school could do. I love that. I love that. I think that's awesome. I remember I was on my way to church one day and as I was taking my exit off the highway, there was a hospital that's closest to where I go to church and it had a big blue H for hospital and underneath the H it had trauma center, and the area where I live live this particular hospital is known for wound care, trauma care, and I thought to myself, what if the church had a trauma center? What, what if, in conjunction to new members class, we also have a mental health class?
Speaker 1:You know, you know, because I think to myself, especially in churches where there is deliverance that takes place, I think to myself you know, when you come to the altar and you get that initial touch, you're feeling great, you're feeling good, you're feeling like everything's fine, everything's okay, but sometimes we can negate that there's a deeper work that needs to be done. Right, that will only take place through, you know, through a process, right, and, like you said, if we have those individuals in our, in our congregations, or even the resources, even the information, that we can say, hey, listen, I understand you might be going through something right now. In addition to how we're going to help you um spiritually, here are some practical resources as well. Right because we? Right Because we negate the practical resources you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:I don't know why people do, and it's only when it comes to certain things, because I bet you they have a list of food pantries. I bet you they have a list of homeless, shelters and where you can get clothes and things like that. So it's incorporating all things that are going to be necessary in the human experience, which I'm praying to God, one day I'll be able to add to that with a non-profit.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I thought that was profound what you said. Just you know, you said good leaders, they advocate for therapists or therapy, rather for sure.
Speaker 2:I think that people also staying on the spiritual tip in terms of church well, I can just go get counseling in church, you can. Most church counselors are not licensed, so you get whatever guidance they have from their own life experiences, not saying it's bad.
Speaker 2:There are some very wise people who say it's serious, but they're not clinically trained so they might not necessarily know how to handle some of the things that you bring to the table. Right. We speak a lot about the trauma and talking about it. That's only one tiny portion of how you navigate through that and heal through it. There's also a somatic aspect of trauma and if you're not trained they won't know how to help you regulate, how to help you release those things somatically in your body. So talk therapy isn't all you need when you've been through trauma wow, wow, that's good.
Speaker 1:That's good that you said that, because when I first started um seeking therapy, I didn't realize that I specifically needed a trauma-informed therapist, and so I wasn't necessarily getting what I needed, although I was talking about some of the things I had going through. I didn't know how to process those emotions. I did not know how to sit with them, how to accept them. I didn't even know what to do after therapy because because, believe it or not, after your therapy session I feel like you, there's a self-care, there's a recovery period that you need because you are releasing some things, and I kind of felt like you're you are most vulnerable after you've had a therapy session, depending on how deep you've gone. You know you could be susceptible to, you know, more triggers or just discouragement, and so I feel like it is most. It is very important Now we understand that there's also a social, cultural impact when it comes to mental health.
Speaker 1:And you know, sometimes I find that people almost consider mental health contagious, like if I'm depressed and I sneeze, you're not going to get depression right, like it's not contagious, baby, you're not going to catch it. And now you might go through something in your own life experiences that could warrant some depressive episodes, but you're not going to catch it from me, right? It's okay for you to support me, it's okay for you to pray for me, it's okay for you to be for there to for me and listen to me, like when I think about the story of joe, when he had lost all of his children you know so much things and one day he lost all of this stuff and his wife was like um, I don't know about you, but if I was you, I would curse god and die at this point. But what I love about that story is and I'm going to always go Bible, because that's where my heart is. But what I love about that story, the Bible says that for the first I think it was three or seven days his friends just sat with him.
Speaker 1:They didn't even say nothing. They just sat there like. You know what I mean. How can I show up for somebody who's going through something you know, emotionally, mentally? How can we be there for one?
Speaker 2:another. That's a good question, because a lot of people don't know how to do that. Um, sometimes it is what you just said, just being there. They don't need you to say anything, they don't need you to have the perfect words right they just need you to be there and they're helping them cook, help them clean.
Speaker 2:You know, go get out the house, have some fun. Right, practical things because, being honest, anybody who's gone through a depressive episode you understand those practical things get more difficult by the day. And when I mean practical, I mean something is simple, depending on how severe, of course. Did you? Did you shower today? Did you eat? When's the last time you washed your hair? Let me wash your hair, right? There are many ways, but I would always, first and foremost, ask yeah, and and. If people now this is to my people struggling, if somebody asks, don't say nothing, I'm fine, right, need being able to articulate that and feel free of judgment. If somebody's asking you, it's because they love you enough to want to show up for you in the best way that they possibly can so say that again, if somebody's asking you.
Speaker 2:What now? It's because they love you and want to show up for you in the best way that they possibly can I love that. I love that how else will I know how to do that without guessing if you don't tell me right? So if you need help cooking or figuring out food, maybe I don't know how to cook, but I could order this meal service for you.
Speaker 2:Right, or maybe right? I'm not the best at cleaning, but I can help you do these things, and maybe I'll throw you some cash to pay for a maid or some cleaning services, whatever.
Speaker 1:There's so many different ways you show up for people, um, and it doesn't always cost money right, right, but yeah, just being there, just showing up for that person, just you know, you know, and sometimes, like you said, that means sitting in silence. Sometimes that means picking up a broom, Sometimes that means offering to do their hair or to maybe pick up their kids from daycare or something like that. But I just feel like I know we have sometimes ingrained in our mindsets it's about my four and no more, you know like, but the reality of it is is we are a brother's keeper, right Cause you can turn on five o'clock news tonight and you'll see somebody saying oh my goodness, I had no idea that they were going through this. You know, I had no idea. When I see them every day and you know, they just look like they were, they were.
Speaker 1:But you know, what does it cost for you to maybe just break up the monotony of your routine and say is everything OK? And then, on the other spectrum, like you said, we do also have to be open and transparent and say girl, I'm going to crash out. This is a lot of stuff going on here. You know I'm this close to losing it. You have to be open and honest, you know so.
Speaker 2:And it's tricky because you can't be vulnerable with everybody and you kind of just have to be able to gauge that. But if it's your people, your community, you should be able to, and if not, you might need to restructure your community.
Speaker 1:Say that for real. Check your friend group.
Speaker 2:I mean if you feel guilty telling your friend about how you're struggling with your mental health or you feel like they're gonna judge you, we might need to discuss if that's your friend right, baby, they ain't your friend.
Speaker 1:We need some new friends. Um, what do you think the consequences are of ignoring mental health at a community level, in a societal level? What do you think the consequences are of ignoring mental health at a community level, in a societal level? What do you think the consequences are?
Speaker 2:the consequences run deep. We see them every day. Um, my greatest example of that is, statistically speaking, women are more likely to go to therapy than men. Okay, okay, and a lot of that comes again from what we were talking about earlier, just the stigma of what it means to be a strong man, a masculine man, a man who carries the load of everything. Right, and it's wonderful that you can, because I have clients that are men and I have to restructure how they think and how they talk sometimes, because they'll downplay or dismiss how they feel and what they're going through, just say but I'm a man, I'm supposed to handle it. Wait a minute.
Speaker 2:You're also human and, yes, you're strong and you can bear these burdens, but it doesn't mean that you have to suffer under the weight that you're struggling to carry. So, societal wise, creating that stigma of if you go do this, there's something wrong with you or it makes you weaker or less than is not true, and that is damaging in itself to society, because that's how people show up.
Speaker 1:If I'm a man and I can't cry.
Speaker 2:This anger has to come out some kind of way. So if I knock your teeth out, I don't want to hear it because you told me to cry Right, right. Or same with women, right. Just in terms of how we deal with it in a healthy way. If we're not encouraged from a communal level and you know, within our friend groups and things like that we find other ways to release and are not always healthy Anybody with an addiction. They're running for something they want to heal from and it doesn't matter what the addiction is, whether it's drugs, alcohol, whether it's sex and pornography, whether it's sex and pornography, whether it's gambling or whatever it is used to self-medicate and run away from the things that they do not feel comfortable or privy to being able to process.
Speaker 1:Whoo, that's deep, because I ain't going to lie, I like to shoe shop. Now I got to go shopping oh my goodness, I've gotten much better, because I used to be every week. I had to go. Give me a pair of shoes, yeah. But what I didn't know is I had developed this negative coping mechanism and, instead of me dealing with, you know what I really felt on the inside. I was like charged it up right retail therapy, um. So that's good that you spoke to that. We know that the work that you and I are doing and others like us are hopefully working to, you know, decrease the stigma surrounding mental health. But how do you think the stigma around mental health specifically, how does it affect people, willingness to go get help?
Speaker 2:I think it's just that, the stigma alone and not understanding it. They don't want labels on them Like I. I've had clients from all different cultures, right, and what I've come to find most commonly Okay Is a black, brown, asian communities. We have such huge stigmas. What it means to go seek help mentally Right, it turns people. I've even had clients who were like you don't tell anybody that I'm here, right, because my parents can't now, wow, they won't touch me for it.
Speaker 2:They won't talk to me anymore. They will label me as X, y, z, just depending on what cultural standpoint you're coming from Right. But it's the biggest impact. If there was no stigma, I think people would be more likely to just go get help. Just to say well, I can't even say that, because there is a stigma with physical health too. Some people won't go to the doctor, yeah, that's true. People not in the hospital. Right, you need to go to the hospital.
Speaker 2:So I think stigmas are a big part of why yeah I resisted to going to get help and I see a lot of therapists now talking about it, um, from different standpoints, to try to break that stigma.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it makes my heart so happy because, yeah, I try to like ease people into it, and every fight that I've ever had was just like such and such told me to be here. I don't really see the point of this. Talking about your feelings isn't going to help. Once we get to work, they're just like oh, it's not that bad, right, right, right, right, right, I like coming. When's our next session? Yeah, exactly, exactly. There are everyday situations where you're still talking about your problems to people and you don't realize you would be better in a professional setting. People who be ranting on social media I was about to say Facebook, twitter, instagram, the videos. You could do that in a session and not have everybody in your business, right?
Speaker 1:Because especially not have everybody first of all, especially not have everybody first of all who are not qualified to even answer you or who are going to judge you, who are going to mock you and mislabel you, yeah so a lot of times they make it worse, make it worse, and then you know and unfortunately you're spiraling now because you've told somebody who wasn't equipped to handle what you've carried, what you've gone through, and believe it or not most people and I I've come to find this out by sharing my testimony and share some things I've gone through.
Speaker 1:Three out of the four people in your friend group or circle have gone through either something similar, if not worse than what you've experienced, and sometimes it takes you being the one to say, okay, I'm going to be be this one to want to step out and go get help so that we can both, or all of us can heal. Now I want to get personal now. Now I talked about some of the things. Well, I've talked about the fact that I have experienced trauma. A lot of, I will say a lot of the mental health issues that I have experienced and am still processing through was as a result of the childhood trauma I went through.
Speaker 2:But what do you?
Speaker 1:think like how has mental health whether it be your own or family members, how has it shaped your experience? I know you talked about um, why you wanted to become a therapist.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I had a traumatic childhood and traumatic experiences in adulthood too. So it started with that. Like I wish I knew what mental health was back then and what a therapist was back then, because I probably would have asked for it. Um, growing up, I went through severe depression. My father was abusive in every sense of the word, and that caused a lot of emotional issues with me. Um, into my teenage years I got to, I became suicidal and I didn't know what to do with those emotions. Thank God my mother forced us to go to church, because that is actually where I found my solace. I was just like I need something. So I'm going to try this God thing out and see what happens. And he blessed me so much Like he cared for me from that sense. So my own mental health is why I do this.
Speaker 2:Having experiences and going through so many different scenarios, I know that people are out here just struggling and I always said, if I could be a resource to help them figure it out in any way, in any capacity, I would be honored to do so, just to navigate the struggles that they go through.
Speaker 1:That is my favorite part of my job is to being able to be a safe space for people to be vulnerable and figure things out, and then to watch live in action their lives just turn around is my favorite thing, yeah yeah, awesome, awesome yeah always, always, say that there's pain, I'm sorry, there's purpose in our pain and I believe that even more and more and more, you know, as I continue to do, you know, to share my testimony and to try to, you know, spread the awareness of trauma and mental when we say it like that you do go through for other people. But I feel like, if, if you, the bible says we're going to have trouble in this life, we're going to go through things, and if you're going to go through already, why not use what you've gone through to help somebody else or to or to possibly prevent somebody else from from going through what you've gone through? So absolutely yeah.
Speaker 2:Each one teach one right.
Speaker 1:Exactly. You'll figure it out, maybe they won't Right or maybe it'll take them a long time, because some of the stuff that I'm just now coming to understand I'm like dang, how come anybody tell me this? So I appreciate, I can appreciate now who I am becoming and hopefully who I'm becoming will be able to help somebody else so they won't be at my age just now, realizing they're just now, you know, coming to understand, you know the importance of mental health.
Speaker 2:I'm glad you mentioned age. There's no age that's too old to start, one of my oldest clients. He was 82. And I asked him, of course I was like he started with me when he was 80. Okay, I was like now, why did you wait? And he was just like you know what. To be honest, I was scared yeah my age, growing up, we didn't talk about these things. We didn't know what to do with these things I knew what I know now right way sooner.
Speaker 2:He's like wow, I could have used my 20s, I could have used this in my 30s, 40s age, but I was just like. He's definitely a reminder and proof that he's never too old to want to seek change and that that's essentially what he said. He said I'm still here, so while I'm here, I want to still be the better version that I could be.
Speaker 1:Wow. So I love that because he's 80 years old, or 82 years old, 80 when he first began seeking therapy. And you know, when I think about, like, how things affect us generationally and when I think about that age group, you know, like I said, I never saw my caregivers or people that age group aunties and uncles, grandparents even talk about therapy, let alone, you know, go to therapy. Like you said, sometimes they didn't even trust, you know, the physical doctors, you know, or medical doctors I should say so to um to hear that he was like you know what never too late, I'm still alive, I'm gonna go see about my mental health.
Speaker 1:I think that's awesome, um, I think that's awesome and I think that even while, like, in this current age, I'll say you, you hear you were hearing a lot about it more on social media people are talking about depression and anxiety. I love that there is such an awareness toward it, but I almost am, at the same time, a little bit like Leary, because I think in some cases, some people are kind of like making it a cool thing it's cool that I have anxiety, it's cool that I take depression meds, you know, it's cool that I have a therapist. And while there are obvious benefits for taking your medication, obviously, and going to therapists, I don't know if I like the fact that. If I don't know if I like where it's going, where I feel like, where it could possibly be. Making the younger generation think um long-term mental health issues are okay I think it's doing the opposite.
Speaker 2:I think it's letting them know like if you have these, it's okay, and making it less of a thing. Younger generations are quick to be like yeah, I got therapy at such and such time. Yeah, that's true you don't care, you got a therapy. Yeah, do you not?
Speaker 1:Right, right, why you don't got one? What's the?
Speaker 2:problem Becoming Right right, why you don't got one? What's the problem? Right, it's becoming so normalized. It's just another one of those things. It's no different than somebody now looking at just like oh well, I have insert physical ailment here and it's not a big deal it's like oh, you go to the doctor for that.
Speaker 1:Okay, cool yeah. No big deal yeah.
Speaker 2:I just think that's just the way that this newer generation is going about it. And also, if you've ever gone through anything, most people end up with some type of dark humor. Yeah, that's true, a lot of things. It's easier to just laugh at it like, yeah, that's true, that's true jokes about the things that they go through, because it's just like what else am I supposed to do with it?
Speaker 2:some of these things, unfortunately they are lifelong they're not where, and you, if you do have something that is in that category, it helps to know it's okay and other people are struggling with it too, dealing with it too. There are resources, and I'm not alone in trying.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, that's true. I guess I didn't think about it like that because, like you said, well, for me, the person that my personality type is like let's hurry and get through this, let's get rid of this problem, let's be over this, um and what. I guess, as I reflect now that I'm, now that I think about it, because I didn't know what the the timeframe was when the Lord really started dealing with me regarding my own trauma, I'm thinking like I'm going to tell my story. You know, this is going to be it. I'm going to help a couple of people and like I'm out of the woods. But then I started realizing like, wait a minute, I'm a little bit anxious, wait a minute, I'm you know, okay, this is post-traumatic stress, you know, um. And then I started to get these diagnoses and I'm like, oh, some of this stuff, like you said, can, you can live, it could be lifelong. And I read somewhere that, um, people who have experienced trauma can, can be affected 50 years post the event.
Speaker 2:And I'm like, oh, that's me because a lot of times, if it's unhealed or untreated, you find yourself in different situations and relationships that'll re-trigger those things or cause additional trauma, and now you have added more time onto that right oh my gosh, so now you've added more time.
Speaker 1:Wow, I didn't even realize that.
Speaker 2:But also I'm going to say this because I'm glad you said that there is no such thing as being there's no healing finish line, like there is not.
Speaker 1:So it's not linear.
Speaker 2:No, it's not linear and there's no finish line, because you will never reach perfection. And in order for you to reach perfection and also not ever be bothered by anything that you've ever gone through again, we would have to delete your memory. We don't have little men in black pen where we can zap it and you, you don't remember these things. What changes over time is how it shows up in your body or how you respond to it. Yeah, it impacts you, right? That's what takes over time, that's what healing looks like. But there's no.
Speaker 1:There's no that okay, I love that, so, so, okay. So healing is not necessarily the absence of pain, but maybe the absence of this the previous response you had to that pain yes, essentially it's how it shows up for you and you being able to cope and handle it in a healthy way.
Speaker 2:Right, somebody might trigger you, but if you've done your work, if you've done some healing work, it doesn't debilitate you the way it used to. It doesn't fire you up the way that it used to. It's just you look at it completely different and you're able to move on faster and it's to enjoy your life. So that's, that's essentially what the healing journey is. It's not like oh, I've arrived. No, you haven't, because you're not gonna reach perfection.
Speaker 2:There's always something you could be working on, right and it may not always be a result of your trauma or your depression, but there's always self-work to do yeah, so anybody?
Speaker 1:well, she's speaking to me now because I have this problem with perfectionism. Anybody who's struggling with perfectionism or who's, you know, trying to reach perfection. You're not. You're not gonna get there, but what you will pick up is a set of skills, that healthy coping mechanisms, and a set of skills that will help you deal with what you are experiencing, or even that which life can bring on an everyday basis. Yeah, but you won't be perfect, all right. So I got to take a mental note of that, because I'm telling you sometimes I'm like oh no, I'm going to get this under control. Look, I ain't going to never go through this again. I ain't never feeling this again.
Speaker 2:I ain't gonna never go through this again. I ain't never feeling this again. I ain't never experiencing this again. Well, some of you might not, some of you might not. There are layers to it. It's layers to healing. It is a journey. There might be things that it doesn't matter to you anymore and it never will, but then, after you heal that, something else pops up in your life. I didn't know.
Speaker 1:I struggled with this let me figure out how to deal with this part now. Right, right, you know, I know because I feel like it's like you said, it is layers, because once you pull back one layer or something else, I'm like dang what I'm gonna deal with that, to where you discover different things about yourself.
Speaker 2:You also have to remember you change as you engage in different situations If you become a mom, if you get married, if you you know as you age, or if you become a caregiver, your job, whatever it's going to call different things to be pulled out of you which may highlight and shine some light on things of oh, I didn't know I had that struggle, I didn't know I had this issue. I need to work on that. I need to talk about that, right, yeah, you don't know you can't handle stress if you've never been in a stress right, because my problem is.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm gonna go a little deep. Okay, put me on the couch for a second let me know how much you care for this session.
Speaker 1:listen, this my problem is. So I deal with one issue, right, I'm like'm like, okay, I deal with that issue. I got to find some coping mechanisms. I can journal, I can deep breathe. Okay, good, I'm good in this issue. But then when another problem comes, I'm sometimes thinking like wait a minute, how come? When I dealt with the last issue, this wasn't like all included. How come? This wasn't like a mastery level thing. This wasn't like a mastery level thing. This wasn't, like you know, all inclusive. Now I got to do it. It's not all inclusive, baby, you got to pay. So I'm mad about that. I feel a way about that. I don't want to work on nothing else, lord, I want to be one and done.
Speaker 2:It can be frustrating, but it's necessary, right, in order to be the better version of you. There was only one perfect person on earth. That's true that is true so that's the other part, but you know what, bringing back Christianity into it, it's a reminder that you need a savior because you're not always going to need help with something always going to need help, if you always gonna need help with something always going to be, if you don't need help with anything. Where is where? Where does he stand?
Speaker 2:oh, that's true you're always gonna help with something because we're not perfect. Yeah, and you won't be, and I feel like uh yeah, and life's life reminds you of that it's, I think, not all of it, but there are some aspects of life that are designed to make sure we remain humble oh yeah you ain't as hot as you think you are and I feel like God keep his foot on my neck.
Speaker 1:Just in case you think you have arrived right, I'm going to show you where you haven't. But, um, I consider that a part of his grace, though. I consider that a part of his grace, though. I consider that a part of his mercy, for sure. Well, I have a few other questions, because we haven't had a time. We might have to come back for part two because, this is getting good.
Speaker 1:Now we kind of touched on this. You know how mental health shaped your own personal experience, or how your personal experience shaped your mental health and your passion for mental health. Why do you think it's important to normalize you know, talking about therapy any emotional struggles but then also giving that early attention to it, you know catching it early.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the earlier, the earlier the better. Think of it like anything that any diagnosis that you get yeah, earlier the better. That you know because you may be able to prevent it from going into the severe realm. You may and, mental health speaking, you can prevent the severity. You can also prevent the destruction that is caused on the way to that. Okay, um, another aspect that I want to mention. A lot of people think well, I don't have nothing to heal from. Ain't nothing happened to me? Therapy's not just for that, it's also life skills. I teach people how to communicate, how to handle conflict. A lot of people don't know how to do that and think about it this way if we had learned how to communicate in kindergarten, the same way we learned how to share right, we would be 10 times of a better person growing on here as we formed actual relationships right so the earlier you catch something or realize you need to work on something, the better you off are with it and you have more time to sharpen that skill and just be better at it.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:Or save yourself from some pain. What's that? Or I said or save yourself from some pain.
Speaker 1:Yeah, certainly. In addition to talk therapy, in addition to our spiritual practices, there's also a medicinal avenue that we can take right, and sometimes people shy away from that for all types of reasons, whether their belief is that if they take medicine, they could possibly become addicted to it, or the medicine could possibly make them worse than they are, or, in terms of faith communities, this means that they're not trusting God, or something like that. Can you just speak to the importance and the benefits of possibly not only being prescribed you know medicine but taking it and accepting the fact that it's okay to take it?
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm. So my approach with medication. It's not my first go-to, because a lot of things can be solved with coping skills, lifestyle changes, including diet and exercise. People leave that part out. Okay, sometimes, what you're consuming, food-wise, especially in America, there are so many additives in our food that are causing the spike in some of our hormone disruption, which causes mood dysregulation and all these other things. Right, wow? So I always start my clients. I call it just my basics. We work, okay, how well you're sleeping. We work on your physical activity, what you're eating, how much water you're taking in those things. We do that first, along with the therapeutic talking and skills of that nature and a lot of people want.
Speaker 2:After a few months of that, they're like I feel better, I'm good, like. I had one class she changed her diet. She took it seriously, changed her diet. Within the first week she was just like. I feel like my energy is just like yeah, you were eating garbage, girl, right, we can't be doing it a lot of times.
Speaker 2:That's why you feel so fatigued or things like that so I go that route first and if we are still exploring and going through things and I'm realizing it truly truly is like a severe chemical imbalance that can't necessarily be corrected with just okay. I highly encourage it. Medication for most things is not something that you necessarily have to take for the rest of your life. Okay, are there risks with it? Yes, right, because it's a non-natural supplement that you're putting in your body as a matter of. I've been doing more research on my own to have suggestions of things my clients can try herbally and naturally. First, okay, because a lot of people are anti-medication. Okay, and, to be honest, a lot of them long-term over surgery and that's any medication actually is not meant for you to be taking it for the rest of your life.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:What they rely on. I'm gonna tell you a secret about big pharma. Hopefully don't come get me, but okay, you take this for x amount of time now. It's caused more problems, so now you need another medication for this problem, that is created, and you just keep showing up needing medication, right? Wow, and that's physical and mental it happens.
Speaker 2:So, while it's not ideal for most people, sometimes it's absolutely necessary because right now, at this stage of medicine we're in, that is the only way to help regulate some brain chemical aspects of things. Right, okay, um, medication for anxiety and depression that's less likely to have to take for long term what I'm saying long term I mean like maybe if you have schizophrenia, okay, I have bipolar disorder. Those chemical imbalances need some assistance to be stabilized over time.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, because you know, I thought, obviously, when I began to go to therapy and I was diagnosed with, like I said, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder, the very first time I spoke to someone they prescribed me medicine and I was like I don't take no medicine, I'm not taking that, I don't know what's in it, I don't want to. You know, you had these ideas of how it would affect you and my biggest thing was I felt like, I guess because I understood that a lot of the issues that I had was, was, were because of the trauma I went through I felt like I needed to more, to rely on more undoing those, you know, those coping mechanisms. I needed to rely because I felt, I felt like the trauma didn't necessarily give me a chemical imbalance, more of a distorted way of thinking, for sure, and that was what made me anxious. And, you know, sometimes it was my beliefs, my internal belief system, and I felt like, personally, there's no medication for that. You know, you have to change.
Speaker 1:Well, for me, me, this is what my idea was. Yeah, for me, I was, I was blessed enough to have been introduced to jesus christ and to understand that his word is what can change the way that you think you know what I mean, um, but I do understand that there are people who who may or may not be believers in Jesus Christ, but who also rely on medicine. But I think my thought is that we have to begin to introduce another way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it also depends on the doctor and their training, right? If you're going to a psychiatrist that's what they went to school for to prescribe medication. They're not there to talk to you about your problems. Yeah, that's true, you want some medication, I'm gonna. There are some, uh, psychiatrists that are also therapists. So, yeah, uh, a less aggressive approach with that. At first they're like, let's try these things first, then go. But believe me, sometimes it's just necessary, like if I've noticed that my clients are too anxious to grasp coping skills or they're too anxious to grasp the life changes that they need to come out of the depression. I will suggest they go get medication and sometimes they take it for like a couple months and they're still learning and they're applying their coping skills, and then they get with their doctors on a proper way to taper off and we're good.
Speaker 2:Okay, off and we're good okay, just needed a boost because you were so severe in the pits of whatever you were dealing with couldn't even see clearly enough to say like, okay, I should practice. Insert coke. Yeah right, it happens sometimes. It doesn't have to be for people. Yeah well, I don't agree with you. Just met me and now you're giving medication, right? I really see like, oh no, it's really really bad yeah, well, you, you mentioned something.
Speaker 1:You said that there are specific doctors. Yeah, obviously that their their specialty is you know that's that's basically part of their job is to prescribe you medicine. So maybe you can give us some information regarding the difference. We know there's a primary doctor, then we know that there's a psychologist, then there's a psychiatrist right, and then there then there's licensed, licensed professional counselors. So can you give us like just a little breakdown for somebody who might be listening and be like well, which one am I supposed to go to, you know?
Speaker 2:yes, just to be honest, even when I was coming into the field I'm like well which one. Am I supposed to do? Like? What's the difference, right? So psychiatrists are? They go to school to prescribe psychiatric medicine? They are. They are medical doctors, but their focus is in mental health medication and the research that goes into that, developing practices and all those things. Right, psychologists? They are your doctoral level therapists in most cases, but not all psychologists are therapists, right psychologists?
Speaker 2:and not have gone for your licensure for therapy okay two different things right, which is why you can also be a therapist and not a psychologist right, so a lot of. It is an indicator of what level of education you're at psychologists they have doctorate degrees of some sort okay, psychologists and psychiatrists they have doctors, um, and there are different breakdowns for psychologists of what types they can have. You might see a sci-d or a phd for a psychologist right psychiatrists.
Speaker 2:They are, they have their phd in psychiatry and then, underneath that umbrella, you have a plethora of different titles you can have in terms of just mental health counseling and licensed professionals. Um, you can license social workers, can be um therapists and counselors. So you might see lcsw, you you might see what I have, a lpc. Licensed professional counselor, counselor and therapist are words that could be used interchangeably. There's no real difference with that. Okay, okay, in this field particularly. So I know it can get confusing. Um, if ever you are, if you just kind of ask, but if you're going for therapy, make sure you ask, like, what are your therapy credentials? And they should be able to tell their license in therapies, because some psychologists they only do research, they don't do therapy I was gonna say yeah yeah, so it's different aspects that you could pick up.
Speaker 1:Um, yeah, it just depends on what that person wanted to do what would you say to somebody who's saying okay, I want to go speak to somebody, I don't know where to start. How do you find a therapist? How do you you know, look for one. I was always told to flip the back of your insurance card and start there. But do you have any tips or resources for?
Speaker 2:what I would say is do not google.
Speaker 2:Do not google. Don't go to webmd. No, like that's it. They can help. Don't get me wrong. It's not like you're not going to find anything, but it's a lot trickier to navigate those pages to figure out, like, what you're actually looking for. But there are different types of directories that were created. That house just lists of therapists and their credentials and their practices, right, and you can even filter them out to the type of insurance you have gender, cultural preferences, sexual identity preferences, all sorts of things to narrow down and see who could be a good fit for you. That is far easier than combing through google. So the most popular one is psychology today. A lot of people have psychology today profiles. I am on psychology today, but I'm also on therapy for black girls. That's my favorite platform, um for black therapists dr joy harden, bradford, bradford. She created it. Yes, I love her Girl. So she created that one for an easy database for people to find black therapists. It's not just for women, because I know the name. Some guys are just like black girls.
Speaker 1:I guess I can't know what about the black boys Wait.
Speaker 2:You can look on there as well, because it's just a directory. They do also have therapy for black men as a directory. Um, awesome, there are so many different kinds. Look for the directories and that will help you navigate, like finding a therapist. Okay, better than like google or webmd, not to say that therapists aren't on there because they psychology. Today, at least, I'm with headway.
Speaker 1:Sometimes they'll make us a webmd profile so okay, you might be on there, but in terms of navigating it gets a little more tricky thank you, I'm glad you said that, um, because you know, so many people are looking for these researchers and don't know where to start. I I actually remember telling different people you know, oh, you know, try this therapist, and then sometimes I get a little bit selfish, like I don't want them to have my same therapist, like you know. You know, like this she's just my therapist, not yours, but, um, I think that that is a good. I'm going to actually try to put that in the show notes as well. It's just start with the directory so that, because, like, we obviously might not be in the same state you know what I mean or you might not be this, um, same type of therapist. Like, again, I have a trauma-informed therapist, so I like that with the directories you can find your perfect fit.
Speaker 1:I've actually had I think I've had about four therapists before I found my fit and I didn't realize, right, you know, like you said, you interview them, you start to talk to them, see the qualifications and things that I didn't realize. Like, my first therapist was a male therapist. He was great but he wasn't perfect for me. You know, I still had some things I had to work on regarding what I had gone through and I realized that I could not do this with a male therapist. And so, um, and now today the therapist I have is a female, a black female, black Christian female.
Speaker 1:Um, but that's what works for me, because, at the end of the day, I know that, no matter what we just I just fell in the or disclosed in our meetings she's going to put me back to the word of God, like okay, I know you want to crash out and I know you want to, but what does the word of God say about this? So that's kind of my anchor, you know what I mean. Whereas, though, if I maybe go to another type of therapist, they may just be able to give me certain, like you said, coping mechanism, resources, skills and tips and things. But I ultimately like to compare whatever information I'm getting to the word of God, like let's see if what you said, if I can back this up with scripture then you know okay yeah.
Speaker 2:For sure for sure then you know okay, yeah, for sure, for sure. Most of the time.
Speaker 1:I don't know if non-believing therapists know this, but a lot of principles we teach.
Speaker 2:They're biblical. I said a lot of the principles and things we teach there's.
Speaker 1:There's bible for, oh yeah I remember going to group therapy as well, as I had individual therapists and I had a group therapist and they would do like affirmations for the day and different things, and I'm like that's in the bible, you got that from the king james version, like I know where you got that from. And I want to say this that, although I am a believer, the premise of the podcast and the purpose of me, um, you know, even having guests on the show even talk about it, is not to push christ on you. You know, um, the holy spirit is a perfect gentleman. He does not force himself on anyone. The invitation stands, obviously, if you would like to accept the lord into your life as your savior, um, but the purpose of me doing this is I'm not throwing bible scriptures around to be a basher or to condemn anyone. It just so happens to be what, what works for me and what anchors me.
Speaker 1:I have tried all sorts of things that really focused on me, relying on me, like me, getting me out of this jam me, you know, harnessing some sort of power, but nothing has been beneficial or substantial than the power of God and the power of the Holy Spirit. So for me, I have to speak to that I would dishonor him, I think, by not saying, like child, I wasn't able to do nothing, but for the grace of God. You know what I mean. Because, the truth be told, like we spoke about earlier, this whole healing journey, it is very much a process and for me there are some days that I'm like I quit this job, I ain't working this, I ain't doing this, no more, lord. And those days where I feel off or where I feel disconnected, it is the Lord, it is prayer, it is reading the word that brings me back. You know, you talk about somebody with dissociation, you talk about somebody who would check out in a minute, but it's nothing but God that brings me back back. I don't have the keys to heaven and hell. Only jesus does.
Speaker 1:But what I can do, what I can say, is that this is what has worked for me and this has been what has been most beneficial for me. You know, this is what has been proving to me. You know, you hear you used to hear the old saints say, like try jesus. And I'm like you know how you try him. Like what does that even work? You know what I'm saying. Like where do I show up for the try? Yeah, like, is there a tryout? I mean, you know what? Like is he at the building on market street, like where do you do this at? You know?
Speaker 1:But I'm finding out more and more that, um, not only is he a way maker, not only does he provide, not only does he save your soul and give, promise you eternal life, but he helps you with mind regulation, like he helps you heal from past traumas. He's helped, helps you accept and love yourself. Like, oh, this is all that, this is possible, but you are, I'm sticking with you. Just, I'm sick beside you, so I just wanted to throw that nugget in there. Britney, it has been an absolute yes, it has been an absolute pleasure I we have to have, we have to come back, like we have to.
Speaker 1:This was wonderful, oh my god I so thoroughly enjoyed you, your expertise, first of all, your whole spirit is just like I was just like.
Speaker 2:Yeah, tell me more.
Speaker 1:Like what else do you want to say? I am enraptured, so I just thank God for who you are. There is such a presence over you and I think, although I don't know you in a form of relationship as as a therapist, I can only imagine that your clients are just so well informed or just so delighted to experience you and to to be with you. So I'm just saying kudos to you. Um, keep doing what you're doing I appreciate that wholeheartedly, yeah yeah, now we know that you are a licensed professional counselor.
Speaker 1:You have experience. You have some wisdom. Not only that, you have some life lessons that you have experienced that you can also incorporate into your teachings. Tell us where we can find you. If somebody's like you know what, I want Bridget to be my therapist.
Speaker 2:Tell us how we can go about that Right now. I'm currently still accepting clients through Headway. I'm all school y'all.
Speaker 1:So get them on it. If you listen, you get up on it like I hope you don't call me I saw the show and I'm like I'm not accepting clients anymore, but I'm almost full.
Speaker 2:you can find me on headway's platform, um, I believe the link is going to be posted. And, in terms of social media, on tikt, on Instagram, I'm thecozy underscore place. So at thecozy underscore place, on both.
Speaker 1:Awesome, awesome.
Speaker 2:Any last words. Thank you for having me, guys. I hope that this conversation helped in any way. If you have questions, I'm always available. Feel free to dm me. Awesome people ask me questions all the time, so, no, I'm not gonna charge you for it. Right, right, 25 is the question right? No, I'm not doing that. So, yeah, feel free to reach out if you have concerns or even need help finding a therapist.
Speaker 2:I hope so. Do that too, because I think it's so important. Um, I even tell clients who come to me I'm like, if I'm not your fit, that's okay, I'll help you find your fit, like that's how important you don't have to come to me, but I need you to go somewhere. Right, right what you need, right see, and yeah, those are.
Speaker 1:Those are the type of committed therapists that we need, who's not just who's committed to your overall well-being, not just like whether or not you're going to be my client, but, like you said, yeah people just getting help.
Speaker 2:As a therapist, this is our deposit into the world. If people come out healthier and they're better people, we have a better society exactly, and that is the goal.