Triumph Over Trauma!

Breaking Free From Limiting Beliefs

• Eve Mcnair

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What if the voice limiting your life isn’t truth—but a script you never chose? We open a candid, deeply practical conversation with Dr. Jay Nicole, a psychotherapist and faith-led clinician, on breaking the cycle of limiting beliefs and stepping into a grounded, purpose-led life. Together, we unpack where those beliefs come from—formative years, culture, comparison, and trauma—and why so many of us drift into a spiritual identity crisis that keeps us hustling for worth and starving for rest.

You’ll hear how thoughts become lenses, lenses become habits, and habits become identity if they go unchallenged. We explore cognitive distortions and core beliefs in plain language, then pair them with a faith-forward toolkit: renewing the mind with scripture, praying for wisdom like Solomon, and letting peace be your confirmation when noise crowds out clarity. Dr. Jay shows how therapy and spirituality can complement each other—setting treatment goals alongside spiritual goals, using prayer when requested, and building daily practices that realign mind, body, and spirit.

How to cope with Trauma
“Talk to a few trusted people, open up about your struggle, seek online support groups, read self-help books or practice small acts of self-care such as meditation, breath work, yoga and exercise can help you regain some feeling of control.”


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Triumph Over Trauma Scripture:  II Corinthians 2:14 Now thanks be unto to God , who always causes us to Triumph in Christ....

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2 Corinthians 2:14 Now thanks be unto God, who always causes us to Triumph!

SPEAKER_01:

Hey y'all, welcome to Triumph Over Trauma, the podcast. Listen, y'all, I created this podcast because, like so many other people, I've had a traumatic past. I didn't always realize how those things affected me negatively and how I even carried them into my adult life. And so I wanted to create a space where other people can come and we could have candid conversations how do you identify trauma? How do you navigate it and how you recover from traumatic experiences? If this resonates with you, then join me. I am your host and trauma survivor, Miss Eve McNair. Let's get into it. Okay, guys, welcome back to the show. Uh today we're gonna dive into something that affects so many of us. It's limiting beliefs. You know, those quiet, negative thoughts that tell us what we can't do, who we're not, where we can't go, and what we'll never become. But what if God is calling us to challenge those lies and walk in the fullness of who he created us to be? My guest today knows this journey firsthand, and we're going to unpack what it looks like to identify, confront, and replace those negative or limiting beliefs with truth.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

So I want to welcome to the show today, Dr. Jay Nicole. How are you today?

SPEAKER_02:

I'm fantastic. Thank you for having me. And this is such an important topic, so I can't wait for us to dig in.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, absolutely. I mean, I can identify myself battling limiting beliefs and having to overcome and in and in many cases still working on some of those. So um, again, I'm like you said, I'm excited about this conversation. Before we get started, I want to make sure that people put some respect on your name. So tell us a little bit about yourself and what you do and what you would like the audience to know about yourself.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes, I'm Dr. Jay Nicole Simpson. I'm the CEO, founder, and um primary psychotherapist at Evolve Therapy and Wellness, which also houses the Rise and Thrive of Dr. J. Nicole podcast. So um, with the practice evolve, my belief and my approach with clients in therapy as well as coaching is that it's a space where mind, body, and spirit align. Um, because anytime something is off in any one of those areas is going to show up in the other. So we need to be um balanced. We are spiritual regardless of what people believe or what they believe in. There is a component to us that just can't be explained that there is something bigger than self. Um so I meet people where they are in that journey and help them find purpose, uh, navigate healing. And then the uh podcast is where faith and wellness intersect. So I'm able to bring together faith as well as my mental health background to be able to have conversations with people who have real life lived experiences and they're able to share their testimonies about their own growth, their evolution, and how God has showed up in their life.

SPEAKER_01:

I like specifically what you said, though, about how there is another component, you know, sometimes that is um unseen to the naked eye, and it does require you to put on a spiritual lens. And um, even when I think about my own healing journey and in my beginning stages, I remember, you know, vetting out therapists and the focus at that time seemed to just be on what we could do medically. Um, but I always knew deep down inside that there was something else that, you know, just couldn't be touched by those per those practices. And so I'm glad you brought that, you know, to the to the forefront because I think that's uh missing in a lot of our uh wholeness journeys is that spiritual component. Um, so we're talking about these limiting beliefs and again how they affect us and um how they sometimes trap us and keep us from walking in the destiny and even in our fulfillment of what God has designed for us. Um, what's some what are some of the patterns of limited beliefs that you believe most people struggle with?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, well, I'll start and say no one's exempt. We already engage in some form or pattern of uh negative thinking in the psychology, mental health world, we refer to those as cognitive distortions, right? So they're not absolutely true. But if I had to say from my observations of practice with clients as well as like friends, and even my own journey, I think a lot of people struggle with worthiness. There's a lot of things with fear that look like fear of failure, rejection, or abandonment. There's also that perfectionism and comparison that comes in and wreaks havoc. And I mean, I think something that is huge, and especially now given everything that's going on, is that scarcity thinking. That is there's not enough for them. Um, but what I found, and I've been able to put a label on through like the lenses that God has given me is that most of us are in a spiritual identity crisis, and that's how these negative thoughts are able to prevail.

SPEAKER_01:

First of all, you hit the nail on the head because so many of what you so much of what you said um explains a lot, and I feel like it's gonna help a lot of people. You said that many of us are in an identity crisis, a spiritual one, to be specific. Spiritual identity crisis, because it there is a difference, right? And because of that, first of all, we have to be able to know who we are, and I feel like we can't know who we are until we know who he is. Exactly. And then we're anchored in when we're anchored in knowing who he is, he affirms us, he validates us, he gives us who we are in him. Like the Bible says, it's in him that I move and breathe and have my very being. I remember feeling like I didn't have possession of my being, I didn't know who I was, where I was, and you know, even I could I felt like I I was away from home and couldn't get back to myself. And and I remember feeling so vulnerable, yeah. That crisis of not being able to be one with yourself, not being one with the Father, not being one with the Holy Spirit, which gives you that grounding is so important. Now, how do you think those limiting beliefs keep us stuck in like cycles of defeat and unpotential?

SPEAKER_02:

So that just those thoughts and alone stop people from even trying. If you think that you're not good enough, so they become a lens through which you see every interaction, every engagement. And so some of them they can go even further and they can become a core belief. And so if you have a core belief that you are unlovable, you will sabotage every good relationship that comes into your life. But then you're gonna run straight towards the toxic ones that's gonna reinforce your core belief because we cannot act against a core belief unless we first do some cognitive work to restructure what that thinking looks like, right? So then people are just like, well, why bother? Right? People are gonna leave all the time, or it's too late, I'm too old. These are things that we're telling ourselves. And so you hit it earlier in the introduction about how these things keep you out of purpose. And I'll go as far as to say that even this pattern of thinking, that's that's the enemy, right? Because he wants our mind, because through our mind, he gets us to act, through our heart, he gets us to act, and then that is us living and sin, right? And so it is spiritual warfare. And if you this is why you have to be in your Bible, this is why you have to put on the full armor of God, because if you have that on, these things won't prevail. If you know who you are and whose you are, you already know how to combat that with scripture. But we're not always taught that, it's not always modeled, and I know even for the longest for me, I knew the scripture, but I wasn't like, you know, it was blind and that how do I describe it? It's like I knew the Bible was real, and I just had never really surrendered, I guess is what I said. It wasn't until I really and truly surrendered to God where life like dragged me and had me at bedrock, knock rock bottom, for a bedrock moment because we can build up from bedrock, right? It's only bottom that you stay there. And uh a negative belief was going in my mind, and I had to stop and think. I said, Girl, that's not even your thought. And I knew exactly who it came from. And at first, like I asked God to just like remove that person from my thoughts. And then I said, No, no, no, no, no, Father, extract them from my entire being.

SPEAKER_01:

Right. Let's let's get rid of it.

SPEAKER_02:

There's no room for that because you know, you can spend time allowing these beliefs to surface, but like they can happen as early, like in our formative years, you know, right. Things that were said to us, said about us, things we observe that other people experience. They come from culture, they come from music, they come from family. And these things will lead us into self-sabotage, will procrastinate, we will people please, and that could even look like a little bit of idolatry and putting people before God. Um, it can be us isolating or even shrinking when we have the opportunity to be present and not operating in the authority that God gives to us. It takes a lot of energy. Yeah, it takes a lot of energy, and you know, those limiting beliefs mean that there's a ceiling. So, one, you have a mental ceiling, but also you're putting a ceiling on God and what he can do for you and what he will do for you, right? How he will completely transform your life, and we have to really and truly know our word. We really do.

SPEAKER_01:

Now that is key right there. I like what you said when you um you said that um there was a point in your life where you had to identify the source of the voice that you were hearing. There's a scripture in the Bible that talks about my sheep. They know my voice. When they hear me, they obey me. And sometimes we think we think of that in terms of just obedience, but that also means identifying those negative voices that come from, like you said, maybe things that happen in your formative years, some traumatic experiences, um, maybe past relationship. But identifying those voices that is of the enemy, because we know God speaks to us in love, he affirms and confirms his word over us all of the time. And so I think that it is key about identifying those voices.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm gonna tell you something else about the inner enemy is that he can get in your mind, and after a while, it's not even him anymore, it's you because he's planting the seed and you water it. So it's not even always him. It may have started with him, but we take it on. How do we water those seeds? Give us an example of how we do that. The way of watering that, so like you have a doubt about maybe your appearance. Then you're you start picking yourself apart. Yeah. Or you just you just allow, like when people say they go down the rabbit hole, you don't disrupt it. We water it when we allow it to prevail. When we add to it, we call other people, that's probably gonna make us feel bad. Like we when we wanna confirm something, good or bad, we know who to call. When you don't bring in what God said, so like when you don't challenge it, right? So instead of disproving it, we look for information to confirm it. Wow.

SPEAKER_01:

Instead of disproving it, yes, those negative beliefs, those lies that the enemy has told us over that, like you said, even sometimes we repeat to ourselves, instead of disproving it, we look for ways to confirm it. And you know what? Even on and to that, to your point, even on the opposite spectrum, there were times where I would be as loving and as gracious and as kind, as patient with someone else. But when it comes to turning that thing around and extending grace to myself and extending love and forgiveness and all of those things, sometimes those are the areas where we fall short and we don't realize we're not we're doing ourselves a disservice. It's a lack of self-faction. It's totally self-confession.

SPEAKER_02:

And I'll also say this now. This might ruffle a few feathers though, but I think too, just the way in which we interpret the Bible and Jesus' character, whereas Jesus, others, and then yourself, that we take that too far and we give ourselves the absolute last. We don't take care of ourselves. Scripture also says our bodies are a temple and we're supposed to take care of it, but that's mind, body, and spirit, right? Like we are the temple, it's mind, body, and spirit. We have to take care of all of it. But if we're pouring out to everyone else, we're running ourselves into the ground, we're engaged in people pleasing, all these things, and then we can't even show up as our best self. How do you think you're even supposed to like show up in purpose? You have nothing left, you have nothing, and so it's finding that healthy balance and giving the character, the love of God and Christ, and all of your interactions with people, including yourself, including yourself, because you know what?

SPEAKER_01:

I was talking about this with someone else, and we know the scripture that talks about loving others as you love yourself. But there's a part of the scripture that I feel like we automatically overlook. We see the first part, love others. But the Bible says, as you love yourself.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01:

So I can't love you beyond the love that I have for myself. Everyone says, if there's a possibility where I'm giving you more than I'm giving myself, then perhaps what I am really looking for is for you to validate that I'm worthy of that that I'm giving to you, right?

SPEAKER_02:

I had to go through the face where I had to recognize I said, God, you are my authenticator and validator.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, yeah. It's about going back to the source. And in the very beginning stages of my healing journey, my focus and my kind of dependency was more on CBT, DBT skills, you know, and there's nothing wrong with them.

SPEAKER_02:

A lot of those you can tie biblically. He broke that wall down for me between mental health and his word.

SPEAKER_01:

How have you been able to integrate the word of God, your spiritual practices, with those that one would consider holistic or practical?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I think they all go together and it's all based on what the client needs, right? And so it's clear in that I, you know, I am a faith-led clinician. And so depending on the client, how long if they introduce scripture, they will. Some of them they say, I specifically came to you because I saw that you are faith-based, that you incorporate this in. So we get real. Some of my clients, they have the same way they got treatment goals, they got spiritual goals that go along with them that align with it. And that could look like sometimes praying if it comes to that in therapy, if that's needed, if they ask, or I'll ask them, would would it be okay if, you know, and even scripture.

unknown:

Right.

SPEAKER_02:

And so giving them things to reflect on, or depending on what it is that they're going through, have you talked to God about it? Have you prayed about this? Wow. And helping them to develop that language to bring God in, invite God into their healing, invite God into their goals. You know, the Bible tells us to commit our plans to the Lord and He will establish them. But helping them to see the connections between where they're struggling and what their word looks like. I've had two clients in this last year, they got baptized. Like the support that I provided them helped them. And then I've had others like recommit, find church homes. So he took me through that journey personally, myself first.

SPEAKER_01:

Right. I was gonna say, you know, we have to bring to him our own personal experiences for before we can even help somebody else, right? I feel like knowing and understanding the source of your strength, of your help, knowing and understanding that the power to be able to even walk out and apply these things comes from God. Um, you spoke to one of the tools being in some of your practices, prayer. And just for a moment, I want to speak to that because as someone who has experienced so many types of trauma, so many types of abuse, and just so much over in my formative years, it did affect me mentally. And one of the areas in which I was was of deeply affected is I struggle with dissociation. And I remember the first time that I began to come to the Lord in prayer about them and began to give that part of my mental health struggle to God in prayer. I felt myself come back to myself. I felt myself reconnect with myself. And I was like, oh God, I feel for the first time in a long time like I'm home. And it was so sobering, but it also created an awareness of this is where I need to be when life tries to deregulate me. This is what I need to do when they, as they say, when I feel like I'm about to crash out. This is what I need to do when I'm triggered. Even if I don't understand what the trigger is in that moment, I have a place, right? That I can go. I have a place where I belong, where I can kind of re-up, if you will. Like, you know, get my strength, get my focus, get my clarity back. And what I love about God is it doesn't run out. It's something that is readily available to you all the time, anytime, day or night. And I just want to emphasize that for somebody else who may struggle with um periods of dissociation or just deregulation.

SPEAKER_02:

Prayer works, it works, and it is the Bible tells us to abide in him, right? And so we never have to leave his presence. We never have to leave his presence.

SPEAKER_01:

But it was learning that dependency on God because that was one of my vulnerabilities too. Like I didn't want to need nobody, you know what I mean? Because growing up, I didn't have anybody. So you kind of become self-reliant, right? But in the kingdom of God, when you're learning that he wants to replace those negative coping mechanisms, you have to realize, like, this is a whole nother way to do things here. You know what I mean? It's a whole nother way for me to get my needs met here.

SPEAKER_02:

And you're absolutely right. So there's have you heard of attachment theory before? I have. So what happens with attachment, we project our earthly attachments onto God. So if we have any of the three insecure attachments, so there's, you know, secure attachment, anxious, avoidant, and then we have the disorganized attachment, right? All of us experience some level of anxiety and avoidance in our relationship. Okay. And so the more anxiety you have, the more avoidance you have, that determines which of those categories you're in. So if you're looking at that on the table, so if you're down here in this area, you got secure attachment, but you still experience avoidance and anxiety. But if you have higher avoidance and lower anxiety, that puts you in avoidance. If you got higher anxiety and lower avoidance that puts you in the anxious or like even pre anxious preoccupied. But if you got high anxiety and high avoidance that puts you in disorganized said, you didn't have anyone to rely on, which would likely tell me you're either falling in the avoidant or the disorganized. But, you know, like we don't have a choice about that. Um, just because life is life. Our parents had what they had and what they didn't, and we adapt. Whatever that looks like with our caregivers. So this is why I say that the only codependent relationship you ever want to be in is that with God. That's the only codependent relationship we want in our life. Like, I don't make moves without God. God will be eating it down. What you want me to put on? What am I putting on? What you want me to do? And it's it's actually like really freeing, even though if you imagine, can you imagine doing that with another human being asking them all of these things and how that could easily be violated and turned into control and manipulation? Right. And this is what happens literally to people in abusive relationships. However, it's not like that at all with God. When I tell you I'm a daddy's girl that I don't even be worrying, no, that's right. I don't even scramble. I'll be like, Daddy, I don't know where the money's gonna come from. You got it.

SPEAKER_01:

Come on. But I know you're gonna make some sort of way.

SPEAKER_02:

Right. And when I tell you random stuff starts happening, it's a beautiful thing. So when I say I live a soft life now, I'll have the thoughts and I'll just give them to him.

SPEAKER_01:

You said a lot. I like how you explained that avoiding attachment. Sometimes we want to mask it in independence. I'm an independent woman, you know. I'm always gonna do what I'm doing. And all the meanwhile, you're burning out and you're getting further and further away from true peace, from you know, true rest. Um, my focus this year has literally been mastering rest. Because one of the limiting beliefs that I have struggled with, I'm telling all my business today.

SPEAKER_02:

One of the bonus all the time on my heart.

SPEAKER_01:

One of the limiting beliefs that I had struggled with was that rest was earned, not a birthright. Okay. Can I take you to the scriptures real quick?

SPEAKER_02:

Yes, it's probably the same one I got in mind. Go ahead. In the beginning, God modeled this for us in Genesis. On the seventh day, he rested, God modeled rest.

SPEAKER_01:

But that struggle, that that mindset or that thought was that again, I had to earn rest because when I was growing up, I never really saw my caregivers resting. They waited until they were like dog tired, they were like exhausted and just, you know, crashed, you know. And so I had developed this mindset that if I crossed everything off my to-do list, met all my deliverables, did all my goals, then I was worthy of rest. Then I had deserved it. Yeah. And the trouble with that mindset is that you don't necessarily have to work for, work for deserving something that has already been given, allotted to you.

SPEAKER_02:

Like been modeled. So as you're saying that, I was like, this all goes back to attachment. It goes back to those formative years early on in experiencing emotional safety. Are your caregivers expressing delight in you? Do you feel safe with them? Like there are so many different things. And if you don't have that, it puts you in this state of having to earn everything. But we've been given language like, you know, nothing worth having comes easy. So we think everything gotta be crazy and chaos, and we won't take the keys in when sometimes God opened the door that no man can shut, and we're choosing not to go through it.

SPEAKER_01:

Right. And because we it wasn't hard enough.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, because it wasn't hard enough. Absolutely. And the same thing with relationships. So there are these things that I think were meant for good that our caregivers were trying to teach us to uh a healthy work ethic, but it was unbalanced because they too worked too hard. And if there is one thing people hate to be labeled as is lazy, right? Right. Especially in black and brown communities, and then basically in the black community in the diaspora, right, which was all impacted by enslavement and some kind of capacity, that was one of those beliefs that they put in our mind about rest having to be earned, about rest then being lazy. And so then what happens is that we burn out. And if you're burned out, you cannot, you're not operating on purpose. That means you are out of alignment. And if you are out of alignment, you have to come back in. That means you need to adjust and recalibrate some things. That means we're not doing it the way God intended you to do. And I get that we're doing what we've seen, but at what point do we stop and allow ourselves to examine it? Right. Right, is there a better way to do this versus doing it because this is what's been happening for generation upon generation? Exactly. But you see, you feel, you know, right the havoc is wreaking on you. And your body, your mind, and your mind, and your spirit. And I think because so many of our beliefs are so closely tied to people that we care about, we love, and we respect, that we feel like if I change this belief, it's somehow saying something about them. Or also it could lead to isolation from the only community that I know. Not acknowledging that this community is yes, it's community, but it's not pouring into you. It doesn't align with God, with what God has for you, what He's calling you to do. So if you want to belong to belong and sacrifice your purpose, your calling, you're not gonna have peace with that ever. Um, share this quote. I'm gonna see if I can get it right. From uh Dr. Tony Roach Jr. Let me see if I get it. What you see is what you say. What you say is what you sow. What you sow is what you Nope, that ain't it. What you see is what you say, what you say is what you do, what you do is what you are, what you are is what you sow, what you sow is what you reap, and what you reap is what you deserve. In that, right, it to me, I hear culture. Yeah. I hear culture. What you see is what you say, right? So what's around us, that's what you start to say, that's your belief. And it gets to our authority as well as speaking, and why we have to protect our gates, right? Yeah, and thinking about what God modeled for us. Notice that quote says, What you see is what you say. But God said it, then he saw it. You see how you see how the world will confuse us, will have us flipping it around and thinking you gotta see it to believe it. No, we speak it, and then it is, and then we see it. That's it, and that's what God has modeled. And so the world, the logic that people use that's safe, and we need both, obviously. Yeah, but it's like it goes away from the foundation. It's like we say it, then we see it. I don't have to see it, believe it. I know that I speak it, I will see it. And if God allowed me to see it, and it's an alignment with his will, then it's going to be.

SPEAKER_01:

Because we walk by faith and not by sight.

SPEAKER_02:

And then there's that.

SPEAKER_01:

I love what you said. You said a few times that God has modeled things for us. And sometimes we get so hung up on what was not modeled or what we did not have and what we do lack, right? That scarcity mindset that you spoke about in the very beginning. Sometimes we get caught up in that and we forget that it has been modeled. It is here for our understanding, for our reception, and even for our own growth, which means we're gonna have to depend on the Holy Spirit to give us that enlightenment, to give us that revelation. Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_02:

And I also would encourage people to be like King Solomon and ask God for wisdom, ask him for clarity because you can feel in your spirit when it's uneasy. And then if you are feeling rushed, if you're feeling tense, any of those things is not peace, then you know what that is. God is not the author of confusion, God brings us peace. So when you feel that that's an indicator to go pray and talk to God.

SPEAKER_01:

Look, I always tell God, I'm one of your remedial kids, and I don't care. Um, tell me step by step.

SPEAKER_02:

That is the best, but that here's the thing. God, you we gotta be able to come to God like a child. We do.

SPEAKER_01:

Like a child, like a child. One of my favorite scriptures is the story of Gideon and how pretty much he was looking for confirmation in the book of Judges, 636, for somebody who wants to follow this. Yeah, he wanted to confirm that God would save Israel. So he asked God um if there would be dew on the ground, I mean on the fleece only and not on the ground that would prove that God was with him, right?

SPEAKER_00:

Another exact idea.

SPEAKER_01:

But I love the way God handled him in that story because he asked him twice and God accommodated him. It shows me that he knows the areas in which we need to be strengthened, he knows the areas in which our faith needs to be, you know, brought to another level, and so that we now going forward can come to the place where you did it before. You will lead me step by step to this next place, even in transition. Gideon was in transition, right? And sometimes we get lost in those areas of transitioning, transitioning from brokenness to wholeness when we get lost. And sometimes we're like Gideon, where we're like, okay, well, if you really here, if you really told me to do this podcast, if you really told me to share my drama, like, you know, give me confirmation. And I I just love that particular story where God he handled him, you know, in a way in which it affirmed him and it gave him security. You know what I mean? I loved it.

SPEAKER_02:

I don't think there's anything wrong with asking for confirmation because God, He knows each of us, He knows our hearts, right? Like He knows what's in there, He also knows what we've lived through and what we've been through. And that's another thing. Um, you were asking how like incorporating prayer with my clients. Yeah, I'm like, ask God to put it to you in a way that you can understand it and it's unmistakable that it's Him.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. People always say, I'm gonna hear God talk to me. What does it sound like for God to speak to me? So many times it wasn't audibly, it was annoying, it was a peace. And so I've come to realize, like you said, when there's an absence of peace, when there's an absence of clarity, when there's an absence of that security, am I operating in my own will, desires, flesh, or am I needing to wait until, even perhaps like Gideon did, God confirms for me what I need in order to move on? Um, even in terms of countering those negative beliefs.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm grabbing my Bible over here. Like, you could just thump through this thing and stop on a random page. Like, if you're really seeking something. Like, I've done this before. I'm just like, I'm gonna just open the Bible and see where it goes. And if God didn't lead me somewhere, so he put me over here, my eyes first landed in Proverbs 5. I don't know. Okay. My son, attend unto my wisdom and how thine ear to my understanding. This is what we're talking about. And that's literally you starting to do it. This is what he's doing, y'all. This is what he does. But you gotta tap in. That's really and truly what it is. You have to tap in.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And ask God to help you with your unbelief.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And that's gonna help you restructure those negative beliefs, those negative thoughts, because those represent unbelief. Because if you really believe that God is who he says he is, then there's no way that those things that you're saying and those thoughts you're allowing to prevail can exist if you say he is who he says.

SPEAKER_01:

Right. I thought it was interesting that you were led to the book of Proverbs because Proverbs speaks so much about wisdom, um, so much about the practicality of life and the and the and the the difference between someone who operates a wisdom and and you know, someone who lives in folly. And sometimes we be out here living in folly and don't even realize it. But it's written right there for you. We got an open book test with all the answers.

SPEAKER_02:

Girl, that's the one. But what I also love is like this is literally our first time talking. I had no idea that you knew Proverbs 5 like that. You see how you broke that down? Like, this is how God works. He led me to that, and you're like, oh, it talks about all of these things. This is how God works, y'all. There are no coincidences, there are only divine appointments.

SPEAKER_01:

God's not all it is, and that's why these type of conversations are needed. Um, we know obviously we're meeting the uh um this platform, you know, for our podcast and to be able to spread awareness, but also to be able to reach people who may not ever be able to have this conversation with someone else. So people are, I am a firm believer that there is people who are looking for help, for community, for um to be able to say, I can identify with this. And if you were able to come out, if God was able to bring you out, if God was able to heal you, to help you, then perhaps he really isn't that respective of persons. He can do it for me.

SPEAKER_02:

Also, I heard you say something about uh earlier, and you were like, God, you want me to do the podcast? You want me to share my trauma? Like, and you're talking about obedience. That's exactly how I am sitting here with you today. The content that you see is that he did a very similar thing with me. The way he started my channel, I had to give my testimony first. Wow. Or obedience is somebody is attached to someone else's breakthrough. So when we don't do those things that God has said, we are slowing somebody else down in the process.

SPEAKER_01:

Come on. Wow. It's just like God to come alongside of us to confirm, yeah, you you in the right path. You're doing what I told you to do, right? Um honestly, I wasn't looking for you. You weren't looking for me. You know, like one of the first um things you said in your first correspondence with me was, I'm glad I landed on your first, your um for you page. But one of my prayers is God, align me with people who will confirm what you're doing in my life, in their life. Dr. J. Nicole, first of all, you done turned me every way but loose with this conversation, okay? But I love, I love and appreciate the gift that you are to the body of Christ, the gift that you are to the mental health world and how you integrate them both. We need it's so very much needed, especially in this day and age.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm thankful that God has chosen me as a vessel and that I got into alignment because if I didn't, this conversation would have never happened. You wouldn't have gotten the conversation to that. It really, well, you would have used someone else. And what you don't know is that one of my prayers has been for spiritually aligned connection. Yes. And so for you to say, you know what I mean? You were asking God for spiritual alignment and confirmation, like this is this is what he does. And I love it.

SPEAKER_01:

What would your final thoughts that you would like to leave with someone who say, you know what? I want to change the way I think, I want to change the way I feel, I want to change the way I even see and perceive myself. Where would someone who wanted to make that change start?

SPEAKER_02:

Uh, one, it would definitely start with awareness. And I want you to think about things and challenge it, like who told me this? Where did I learn this? You know what I mean? Because we have to hold and take every thought captive and explore that, and that will help us to be able to challenge that and replace those negative beliefs with positive things, and those then become the evidence. And people are looking for proof, like you will find the proof because God is in there. And so, and you have to believe that is true, and so a lot of times it is our own thoughts and what we don't check that allow this to prevail, and it turns into personality, and then it turns into identity and is built on lies. And I would encourage people to, if they don't know where to start in that, is to spend their time with God, Lord, show me the lies that I believe about myself and replace them with your truths. Show me who you created me to be. He will do it. And I know because I've prayed these prayers, I've had these conversations with God, right? He will do it. One more thing courage to receive what it is you reveal to me.

SPEAKER_01:

Wow. So awareness, revelation, and courage is needed to begin transforming your thoughts, which will trans ultimately transform your life. Dr. J. Nicole, if someone is listening to this and they're like, listen, I got to get a hold of her, I need some more of her content. I need to know if she's licensed in my state. I need a therapist, I need a coach, a mentor, I just need community. Tell us where they can reach you.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes. So if you are in Maryland, uh, you can schedule some therapy. So you can go to www.evolve or drjnicole.com. Um, I also offer coaching. So if you are not in the state of Maryland, I can help with coaching. I also do purpose coaching and helping people to figure out uh what their purpose is and using my I am method to help you with that. Um, yeah, see where you are so that you can grow closer and deeper in that relationship with God and um be operating a purpose. You can catch me on TikTok and um Instagram with evolve at evolva drjnicole. The podcast page is rising tharber Dr. J Nicole on Instagram, and finally you can catch my podcast that's on YouTube, all the major streaming platforms, but YouTube is where you can actually see the video. Um, but yeah, just you can check me out in those ways.

SPEAKER_01:

Awesome. Again, thank you so much for your contribution, for your wisdom, for your insight, uh, for your knowledge, and for your authenticity, you know, being real, applying your own life experiences in order to be able to help other people.

SPEAKER_00:

All right, guys, thanks so much for tuning in to today's episode. Remember, now thanks be unto God who always causes us to triumph. I'll see you next time. Bye.