{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":39.603,"endTime":43.125,"body":"Hello podcast fans"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":39.603,"endTime":43.125,"body":"it's Therapy Natters time."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":43.755,"endTime":54.884,"body":"If you don't know Therapy Natters is the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":43.755,"endTime":54.884,"body":"weekly podcast series presented by myself,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":54.884,"endTime":62.114,"body":"going to answer all your questions or"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":54.884,"endTime":62.114,"body":"as many questions as we can squeeze"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":62.354,"endTime":65.144,"body":"Hey Fiona, how are you doing today?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":65.65899999999999,"endTime":66.26400000000001,"body":"Very good."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":66.294,"endTime":66.654,"body":"Thanks."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":66.654,"endTime":68.45400000000001,"body":"Yes, everything's lovely here."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":68.544,"endTime":71.61500000000001,"body":"Um,  But today we've got"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":68.544,"endTime":71.61500000000001,"body":"one very short question."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":72.37,"endTime":77.075,"body":"But it will expand into"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":72.37,"endTime":77.075,"body":"quite a lot of natter."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":77.792,"endTime":78.321,"body":"I think"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":78.73400000000001,"endTime":79.154,"body":"Absolutely."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":79.17099999999999,"endTime":81.60499999999999,"body":"There's a lot to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":79.17099999999999,"endTime":81.60499999999999,"body":"natter about with this"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":81.79599999999999,"endTime":87.275,"body":"one question from another, Anon it's,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":81.79599999999999,"endTime":87.275,"body":"a very common name in our country"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":87.275,"endTime":87.685,"body":"Oh, yes."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":88.405,"endTime":88.905,"body":"it is."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":89.155,"endTime":97.26499999999999,"body":"a lot of them about, but"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":89.155,"endTime":97.26499999999999,"body":"this person called Anon has said,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":98.28299999999999,"endTime":107.82300000000001,"body":"It's a small question for,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":98.28299999999999,"endTime":107.82300000000001,"body":"like you say a very big topic because"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":108.243,"endTime":110.75300000000001,"body":"How does somebody know that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":108.243,"endTime":110.75300000000001,"body":"their self-esteem is low."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":111.483,"endTime":111.923,"body":"To them."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":111.94300000000001,"endTime":115.06299999999999,"body":"What is self-esteem"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":111.94300000000001,"endTime":115.06299999999999,"body":"and what is their goal?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":115.06299999999999,"endTime":118.453,"body":"How would they know when"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":115.06299999999999,"endTime":118.453,"body":"they have higher self-esteem?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":118.75200000000001,"endTime":121.87200000000001,"body":"Well, shall we start then"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":118.75200000000001,"endTime":121.87200000000001,"body":"by looking at some definitions?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":122.507,"endTime":123.107,"body":"Yes, please."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":123.737,"endTime":124.727,"body":"I do like a definition."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":125.65199999999999,"endTime":127.03200000000001,"body":"Well, you're going to get a lot"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":127.947,"endTime":128.637,"body":"Good stuff."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":129.042,"endTime":135.582,"body":"Because in order to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":129.042,"endTime":135.582,"body":"define self esteem, We need"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":135.582,"endTime":143.559,"body":"Self-concept so how we see ourselves,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":135.582,"endTime":143.559,"body":"what we believe about ourselves."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":144.309,"endTime":151.937,"body":"So each person has an idea of"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":144.309,"endTime":151.937,"body":"who they are and some of that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":152.777,"endTime":159.96699999999998,"body":"So in my self-concept, I have got"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":152.777,"endTime":159.96699999999998,"body":"the fact, and it is a fact that I am"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":160.587,"endTime":162.272,"body":"That is part of my self-concept."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":162.572,"endTime":169.082,"body":"It would be a bit odd if my"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":162.572,"endTime":169.082,"body":"self-concept was saying that I"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":169.832,"endTime":175.765,"body":"But it goes beyond the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":169.832,"endTime":175.765,"body":"facts and into perceptions."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":176.19799999999998,"endTime":181.268,"body":"Many clients will distort elements"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":176.19799999999998,"endTime":181.268,"body":"of self-concept that aren't precise."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":181.778,"endTime":195.6,"body":"So elements like, Attractiveness or"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":181.778,"endTime":195.6,"body":"beauty or kindness or intelligence,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":196.5,"endTime":204.34,"body":"And  We will be getting  to discuss the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":196.5,"endTime":204.34,"body":"fact that all of these elements are very"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":204.844,"endTime":209.974,"body":"But we all start with an idea"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":204.844,"endTime":209.974,"body":"of who we are in this world."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":210.834,"endTime":215.26,"body":"And then we've got three"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":210.834,"endTime":215.26,"body":"different factors around."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":215.26,"endTime":226.995,"body":"So we've got self esteem, but"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":215.26,"endTime":226.995,"body":"we've also got self-confidence and"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":227.65699999999998,"endTime":230.59699999999998,"body":"But let's look at self efficacy first"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":227.65699999999998,"endTime":230.59699999999998,"body":"because that's probably the easiest."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":230.59699999999998,"endTime":238.12699999999998,"body":"That is about how you believe"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":230.59699999999998,"endTime":238.12699999999998,"body":"you are in terms of your"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":238.96699999999998,"endTime":245.68699999999998,"body":"So you might have high self-efficacy in a"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":238.96699999999998,"endTime":245.68699999999998,"body":"particular sport, but not in another one."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":246.557,"endTime":247.18699999999998,"body":"You might have."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":247.912,"endTime":255.753,"body":"Hi, self-efficacy, in doing"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":247.912,"endTime":255.753,"body":"maths, but not writing an essay"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":256.593,"endTime":265.773,"body":"So self-efficacy is about the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":256.593,"endTime":265.773,"body":"ability that you perceive that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":267.528,"endTime":268.63800000000003,"body":"Was it Bandura?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":268.948,"endTime":270.238,"body":"It was Bandura."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":270.728,"endTime":271.278,"body":"I knew it!"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":271.928,"endTime":273.528,"body":"I am qualified!"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":276.248,"endTime":276.492,"body":"Gold"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":276.492,"endTime":276.612,"body":"Gold"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":276.612,"endTime":276.962,"body":"star."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":276.962,"endTime":278.758,"body":"I I thank you!"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":279.279,"endTime":286.929,"body":"But yes, it is Albert Bandura"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":279.279,"endTime":286.929,"body":"who came up with all sorts of"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":287.799,"endTime":288.30899999999997,"body":"Mm."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":288.339,"endTime":291.799,"body":"What I'm interested there"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":288.339,"endTime":291.799,"body":"is, I mean you were probably"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":291.799,"endTime":293.389,"body":"So apologies if I'm interrupting you."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":293.689,"endTime":302.479,"body":"somebody might have these strengths"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":293.689,"endTime":302.479,"body":"in certain places, but if they've"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":302.479,"endTime":303.919,"body":"They don't realize their strengths."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":305.01099999999997,"endTime":306.031,"body":"That's certainly true."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":306.061,"endTime":309.391,"body":"And you can always interrupt me, and I"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":306.061,"endTime":309.391,"body":"don't know if I would have got to that."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":309.391,"endTime":310.111,"body":"Exactly."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":310.111,"endTime":314.861,"body":"So it's a very good point,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":310.111,"endTime":314.861,"body":"but it could also be wrong."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":314.861,"endTime":327.206,"body":"There could be somebody who"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":314.861,"endTime":327.206,"body":"thinks that they're rubbish at"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":328.07599999999996,"endTime":334.836,"body":"So it's always worth looking"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":328.07599999999996,"endTime":334.836,"body":"at these things and seeing"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":334.836,"endTime":335.006,"body":"And then."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":335.996,"endTime":342.746,"body":"Evaluating that, but yes, if you think"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":335.996,"endTime":342.746,"body":"you're really good at maths, but not at"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":342.746,"endTime":349.539,"body":"you only value English, that's going"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":342.746,"endTime":349.539,"body":"to be a problem, same with sports, same"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":350.439,"endTime":358.234,"body":"self-confidence is about how you feel"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":350.439,"endTime":358.234,"body":"about yourself in a  context, but it"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":358.938,"endTime":362.868,"body":"People do have a general level"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":358.938,"endTime":362.868,"body":"of self-confidence as well."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":362.95799999999997,"endTime":373.08299999999997,"body":"People will say I'm a confident"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":362.95799999999997,"endTime":373.08299999999997,"body":"person, or I'm not a confident"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":373.08299999999997,"endTime":380.233,"body":"So let's have a look at that in"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":373.08299999999997,"endTime":380.233,"body":"terms of, that, and self-efficacy, I"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":380.752,"endTime":386.202,"body":"I'm going to be cooking, a, Curry"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":380.752,"endTime":386.202,"body":"tonight with three different"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":386.202,"endTime":396.342,"body":"Cause I think a fourth is likely to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":386.202,"endTime":396.342,"body":"creep in and I am confident that that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":396.342,"endTime":397.632,"body":"I am confident in that."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":398.502,"endTime":404.382,"body":"However, my self efficacy on cooking"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":398.502,"endTime":404.382,"body":"would not be high enough to go"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":405.032,"endTime":405.712,"body":"Ah,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":406.562,"endTime":412.296,"body":"So you can be confident"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":406.562,"endTime":412.296,"body":"in something but not have"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":413.106,"endTime":420.388,"body":"And likewise, you could be lacking"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":413.106,"endTime":420.388,"body":"in confidence on something that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":420.598,"endTime":422.39799999999997,"body":"Oh, one thing I just"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":420.598,"endTime":422.39799999999997,"body":"want to throw in here."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":422.998,"endTime":423.83799999999997,"body":"Self-confidence."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":425.553,"endTime":429.663,"body":"It's not necessarily"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":425.553,"endTime":429.663,"body":"linked to being extrovert."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":430.603,"endTime":431.533,"body":"Mm."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":431.943,"endTime":443.363,"body":"which I think is it's a"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":431.943,"endTime":443.363,"body":"point that needs to be made because"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":443.363,"endTime":446.123,"body":"You could be a very,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":443.363,"endTime":446.123,"body":"very, confident introvert."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":446.433,"endTime":450.008,"body":"Oh I've met some"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":446.433,"endTime":450.008,"body":"wonderfully confident introverts."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":450.608,"endTime":456.118,"body":"So many people I think misuse"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":450.608,"endTime":456.118,"body":"or  they don't understand what"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":456.887,"endTime":463.472,"body":"An extrovert is somebody that gets their"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":456.887,"endTime":463.472,"body":"energy fed from external stimulation."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":463.652,"endTime":467.882,"body":"I'm an extrovert, a room"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":463.652,"endTime":467.882,"body":"full of people wakes me up."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":468.496,"endTime":472.69599999999997,"body":"I can go for days without sleep"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":468.496,"endTime":472.69599999999997,"body":"if there was enough people around"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":473.566,"endTime":476.579,"body":"My wife is a classic introvert."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":476.879,"endTime":480.979,"body":"Absolute classic introvert, a"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":476.879,"endTime":480.979,"body":"room more than three people in it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":481.519,"endTime":492.45099999999996,"body":"She'll tolerate it because she"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":481.519,"endTime":492.45099999999996,"body":"likes it because she likes people"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":492.584,"endTime":494.979,"body":"And she's still very confident."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":495.09499999999997,"endTime":499.585,"body":"."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":495.09499999999997,"endTime":499.585,"body":"To assume that somebody that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":499.615,"endTime":509.78499999999997,"body":"But if when you are an introvert and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":499.615,"endTime":509.78499999999997,"body":"people treat you as if you're shy,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":509.78499999999997,"endTime":512.065,"body":"You can internalize that story."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":512.065,"endTime":512.605,"body":"Can't you?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":513.21,"endTime":522.96,"body":"And I think I did to a degree"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":513.21,"endTime":522.96,"body":"because I was the little blonde"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":522.96,"endTime":526.38,"body":"And oh, you're shy because"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":522.96,"endTime":526.38,"body":"that's what I appear to be."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":527.02,"endTime":529.9300000000001,"body":"But I'm not really, but yeah."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":529.96,"endTime":530.47,"body":"So"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":530.8000000000001,"endTime":540.85,"body":"it's also important that we think"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":530.8000000000001,"endTime":540.85,"body":"about the typical evaluation of"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":541.9580000000001,"endTime":544.298,"body":"That needs to be put to one side as well."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":544.298,"endTime":550.4680000000001,"body":"But of course there are arrogant"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":544.298,"endTime":550.4680000000001,"body":"people who are seemingly overconfident,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":551.3480000000001,"endTime":552.8480000000001,"body":"Yeah, absolutely."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":552.8480000000001,"endTime":562.9380000000001,"body":"I've met a couple of underconfident,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":552.8480000000001,"endTime":562.9380000000001,"body":"very loud, powerful, borderline"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":563.8380000000001,"endTime":571.038,"body":"No, they're not, they"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":563.8380000000001,"endTime":571.038,"body":"might hate themselves hate"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":571.038,"endTime":572.118,"body":"And that needs exploring."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":572.248,"endTime":584.403,"body":"Yeah, we'll get onto that a little"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":572.248,"endTime":584.403,"body":"bit more when we get onto the signs of low"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":585.2130000000001,"endTime":590.0730000000001,"body":"So you've got your self-concept"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":585.2130000000001,"endTime":590.0730000000001,"body":"and self-esteem is, am I okay?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":591.166,"endTime":597.916,"body":"Of course there are still"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":591.166,"endTime":597.916,"body":"contextual elements, but"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":597.946,"endTime":598.606,"body":"okay."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":599.326,"endTime":608.2,"body":"So from that I found,  a list online,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":599.326,"endTime":608.2,"body":"just because it's helpful in this context,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":608.2,"endTime":615.8900000000001,"body":"go through, a list of six points that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":608.2,"endTime":615.8900000000001,"body":"demonstrate somebody with low self-esteem"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":616.138,"endTime":617.988,"body":"Which one shall we look at first?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":618.3580000000001,"endTime":620.148,"body":"Let's look at"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":618.3580000000001,"endTime":620.148,"body":"high self-esteem first."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":620.238,"endTime":620.6080000000001,"body":"Okay."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":620.748,"endTime":632.623,"body":"So the six factors of high self-esteem"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":620.748,"endTime":632.623,"body":"the first is that someone with high"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":633.364,"endTime":641.734,"body":"The second is that people with high"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":633.364,"endTime":641.734,"body":"self-esteem tend to be committed to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":642.2850000000001,"endTime":644.7750000000001,"body":"In working towards such achievement."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":645.7890000000001,"endTime":650.0020000000001,"body":"The third  they are genuine are honest."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":650.572,"endTime":655.7620000000001,"body":"And the reason that they are genuine"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":650.572,"endTime":655.7620000000001,"body":"and honest is because it's safe to be."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":655.7620000000001,"endTime":657.6220000000001,"body":"So which links into"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":658.417,"endTime":659.767,"body":"can be themselves."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":659.767,"endTime":665.0120000000001,"body":"it links into the first"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":659.767,"endTime":665.0120000000001,"body":"one, that they are able to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":665.0120000000001,"endTime":677.1260000000001,"body":"So it's safe to be honest, the fourth is"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":665.0120000000001,"endTime":677.1260000000001,"body":"that they are forgiving and tolerant of"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":678.148,"endTime":683.488,"body":"The fifth, is that they have, or tend"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":678.148,"endTime":683.488,"body":"to have an internal locus of evaluation."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":685.1980000000001,"endTime":687.3280000000001,"body":"Would you like to explain"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":685.1980000000001,"endTime":687.3280000000001,"body":"what a locus of evaluation is?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":687.3280000000001,"endTime":687.658,"body":"Richard"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":688.6030000000001,"endTime":691.8130000000001,"body":"Locus is just posh"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":688.6030000000001,"endTime":691.8130000000001,"body":"word for a location of something"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":693.0930000000001,"endTime":694.4330000000001,"body":"It's a Latin-word for"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":695.4430000000001,"endTime":696.5830000000001,"body":"Posh Latin."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":698.053,"endTime":701.2330000000001,"body":"We never use the word"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":698.053,"endTime":701.2330000000001,"body":"locus for anything else."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":701.504,"endTime":703.3340000000001,"body":"Other than locus of control."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":703.9150000000001,"endTime":705.745,"body":"By locus of evaluation."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":706.446,"endTime":711.6080000000001,"body":"What that implies is correct"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":706.446,"endTime":711.6080000000001,"body":"me if I'm wrong here, because"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":712.3050000000001,"endTime":722.475,"body":"That you get your sense of self"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":712.3050000000001,"endTime":722.475,"body":"from certain positions, either"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":722.6850000000001,"endTime":723.315,"body":"Am I right?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":724.2170000000001,"endTime":730.2570000000001,"body":"Um, yes, I think"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":724.2170000000001,"endTime":730.2570000000001,"body":"there's a slight nuanced thing"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":730.287,"endTime":736.1070000000001,"body":"So it's, it's me looking for"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":730.287,"endTime":736.1070000000001,"body":"validation from external sources."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":737.0970000000001,"endTime":740.3380000000001,"body":"And so I'm going to a"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":737.0970000000001,"endTime":740.3380000000001,"body":"wedding next weekend."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":741.133,"endTime":752.743,"body":"If I had an external locus of evaluation"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":741.133,"endTime":752.743,"body":"oh and, a little aside, everybody"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":752.743,"endTime":755.293,"body":"what other people think"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":752.743,"endTime":755.293,"body":"at least to a degree."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":755.923,"endTime":765.553,"body":"If I had a very high one, I would be"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":755.923,"endTime":765.553,"body":"really bothered about who said, you"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":766.4830000000001,"endTime":767.4430000000001,"body":"Oh, your hair's nice."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":767.533,"endTime":769.993,"body":"Whatever it is, I would"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":767.533,"endTime":769.993,"body":"be really bothered."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":770.7130000000001,"endTime":778.2170000000001,"body":"I'd probably be keeping score,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":770.7130000000001,"endTime":778.2170000000001,"body":"but if I have an internal locus of"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":778.2170000000001,"endTime":785.807,"body":"the mirror as I will, because I've"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":778.2170000000001,"endTime":785.807,"body":"tried on the dress and I can do it up,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":786.437,"endTime":791.567,"body":"So I will look at myself in the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":786.437,"endTime":791.567,"body":"mirror and I will go that's all right."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":791.807,"endTime":792.647,"body":"That's that's."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":792.707,"endTime":793.6070000000001,"body":"That's okay."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":794.2520000000001,"endTime":795.332,"body":"Probably a bit more than that."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":795.542,"endTime":800.075,"body":"Cause it's a nice dress, but"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":795.542,"endTime":800.075,"body":"that's me judging myself."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":800.105,"endTime":802.955,"body":"And if I get compliments"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":800.105,"endTime":802.955,"body":"from other people nice."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":803.6450000000001,"endTime":805.845,"body":"If they say nothing, I won't even notice."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":806.505,"endTime":808.125,"body":"So that's, that's a good example."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":808.125,"endTime":809.595,"body":"I think a good example."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":810.2800000000001,"endTime":819.25,"body":"A lot of people don't"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":810.2800000000001,"endTime":819.25,"body":"realize, that anything you do"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":819.965,"endTime":821.2850000000001,"body":"I want people to like me."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":821.825,"endTime":824.845,"body":"I want people to compliment"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":821.825,"endTime":824.845,"body":"me, I fear their judgment."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":825.379,"endTime":830.359,"body":"If we say those things enough"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":825.379,"endTime":830.359,"body":"times it becomes automatic and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":830.359,"endTime":831.529,"body":"It becomes feeling."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":832.0690000000001,"endTime":835.719,"body":"And it's just inside of us"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":832.0690000000001,"endTime":835.719,"body":"unconsciously creating emotions."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":836.999,"endTime":847.0980000000001,"body":"And we might not realize that we've"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":836.999,"endTime":847.0980000000001,"body":"got that locus of evaluation in"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":847.998,"endTime":860.5880000000001,"body":"We might have to dilute that down with"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":847.998,"endTime":860.5880000000001,"body":"some conscious stuff  to soak up and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":861.548,"endTime":868.0150000000001,"body":"That says I am good enough and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":861.548,"endTime":868.0150000000001,"body":"that's not easy for people."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":868.0150000000001,"endTime":870.94,"body":"To even think those words,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":871.95,"endTime":873.75,"body":"And the final one of the six."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":873.9300000000001,"endTime":879.7700000000001,"body":"Is that people with high"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":873.9300000000001,"endTime":879.7700000000001,"body":"self-esteem tend to be positive,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":881.0600000000001,"endTime":890.397,"body":"So I don't know about you lovely listener,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":881.0600000000001,"endTime":890.397,"body":"but as I read those through reading"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":891.0740000000001,"endTime":895.6790000000001,"body":"It feels good to have"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":891.0740000000001,"endTime":895.6790000000001,"body":"those Elements of oneself."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":895.6790000000001,"endTime":905.6110000000001,"body":"So let's look at the ones of low"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":895.6790000000001,"endTime":905.6110000000001,"body":"self-esteem, which probably will have"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":906.211,"endTime":916.383,"body":"The first trait of someone with"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":906.211,"endTime":916.383,"body":"low self-esteem is they tend to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":918.298,"endTime":919.168,"body":"That's not going to feel good."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":919.168,"endTime":919.393,"body":"Is it."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":919.7940000000001,"endTime":925.62,"body":"The second one is they tend to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":919.7940000000001,"endTime":925.62,"body":"be anxious, especially in social"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":926.3100000000001,"endTime":939.432,"body":"If the, if you're judging yourself"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":926.3100000000001,"endTime":939.432,"body":"as not good enough, then being"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":940.9620000000001,"endTime":949.812,"body":"The third point is that they tend"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":940.9620000000001,"endTime":949.812,"body":"to feel inferior, that they don't"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":950.9620000000001,"endTime":961.3190000000001,"body":"And on this point, people who come over as"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":950.9620000000001,"endTime":961.3190000000001,"body":"superior can be using that as a cover for"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":962.839,"endTime":970.519,"body":"But it is important to say that that's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":962.839,"endTime":970.519,"body":"not always the case because some people"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":971.389,"endTime":979.894,"body":"So if I was to play golf with Tiger"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":971.389,"endTime":979.894,"body":"Woods, then I would like to think"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":980.104,"endTime":983.7940000000001,"body":"And if he didn't, then"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":980.104,"endTime":983.7940000000001,"body":"that's not congruent."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":983.8240000000001,"endTime":984.7840000000001,"body":"That's not real."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":985.114,"endTime":990.3340000000001,"body":"So people can be superior in their fields."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":990.3340000000001,"endTime":993.961,"body":"I would hope not as a"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":990.3340000000001,"endTime":993.961,"body":"general personhood superior."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":994.966,"endTime":998.436,"body":"Over others, but still in some contexts."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":998.436,"endTime":1007.5160000000001,"body":"So the fourth is  people with low"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":998.436,"endTime":1007.5160000000001,"body":"self-esteem tend to be impatient"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1008.2460000000001,"endTime":1017.868,"body":"number five is they have an external locus"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1008.2460000000001,"endTime":1017.868,"body":"of evaluation and  the sixth point is they"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1017.868,"endTime":1025.308,"body":"only is it not doesn't feel nice, but it"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1017.868,"endTime":1025.308,"body":"reinforces that low self-esteem because"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1026.567,"endTime":1030.227,"body":"So let's have a look at what"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1026.567,"endTime":1030.227,"body":"we can do about these things"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1030.227,"endTime":1030.897,"body":"then shall we."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1031.397,"endTime":1036.269,"body":"Should we start with that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1031.397,"endTime":1036.269,"body":"locus of evaluation one,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1036.779,"endTime":1038.309,"body":"When we were looking at the positive,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1039.534,"endTime":1052.895,"body":"I'm going to ask a question, which"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1039.534,"endTime":1052.895,"body":"is sort of rhetorical, I guess there"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1053.443,"endTime":1072.6109999999999,"body":"So, if I'm thinking about going to this"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1053.443,"endTime":1072.6109999999999,"body":"wedding next weekend, there are people"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1073.338,"endTime":1075.798,"body":"So why would I give"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1073.338,"endTime":1075.798,"body":"them the power to do so?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1077.3319999999999,"endTime":1084.5839999999998,"body":"We see a lot of things on"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1077.3319999999999,"endTime":1084.5839999999998,"body":"social media, because it's so easy to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1084.884,"endTime":1087.884,"body":"And because there's a dis-inhibition"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1084.884,"endTime":1087.884,"body":"effect that comes with technology."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1087.884,"endTime":1091.184,"body":"That means it's really easy"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1087.884,"endTime":1091.184,"body":"to say what's on your mind."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1091.9289999999999,"endTime":1095.859,"body":"Via technology, because there's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1091.9289999999999,"endTime":1095.859,"body":"a barrier, there's a distance"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1095.859,"endTime":1104.359,"body":"So  it's easier, which is good in"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1095.859,"endTime":1104.359,"body":"one way, because it means that people"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1104.839,"endTime":1105.7089999999998,"body":"But it also means."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1106.549,"endTime":1109.099,"body":"It's easier to bully, easier to criticize."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1109.279,"endTime":1114.079,"body":"And anybody that uses Twitter will see"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1109.279,"endTime":1114.079,"body":"the poisonous rat's nest that it can be."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1114.079,"endTime":1123.8919999999998,"body":"You know, I do try to use Twitter to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1114.079,"endTime":1123.8919999999998,"body":"dilute the world, dilute everything"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1124.927,"endTime":1125.377,"body":"You're fat."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1125.377,"endTime":1125.827,"body":"You're ugly."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1125.827,"endTime":1126.847,"body":"All those sorts of things."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1127.297,"endTime":1130.567,"body":"It happens regularly."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1130.7669999999998,"endTime":1133.077,"body":"The more that somebody is in"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1130.7669999999998,"endTime":1133.077,"body":"the public eye, for example."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1133.077,"endTime":1140.847,"body":"If they've been on the radio or"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1133.077,"endTime":1140.847,"body":"they've got a podcast, or they've"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1140.95,"endTime":1144.34,"body":"Almost like it gives people"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1140.95,"endTime":1144.34,"body":"permission to be cruel."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1144.9399999999998,"endTime":1151.144,"body":"And it's really hard to have your"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1144.9399999999998,"endTime":1151.144,"body":"locus of evaluation strongly internal."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1151.864,"endTime":1164.2839999999999,"body":"If the external world is so easy to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1151.864,"endTime":1164.2839999999999,"body":"bullying and be cruel and to criticize"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1164.3139999999999,"endTime":1167.914,"body":"And if it's toxic to you, step"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1164.3139999999999,"endTime":1167.914,"body":"away, you deserve better than that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1169.174,"endTime":1172.264,"body":"The answer is that we're not cruel"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1169.174,"endTime":1172.264,"body":"to each other, but that's a big ask,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1172.971,"endTime":1181.096,"body":"It is a big ask, but I think"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1172.971,"endTime":1181.096,"body":"it is worth remembering that the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1181.9759999999999,"endTime":1183.616,"body":"Are not Trolls."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1183.616,"endTime":1184.836,"body":"Are not cruel."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1184.926,"endTime":1185.876,"body":"are not bullies."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1186.4759999999999,"endTime":1193.086,"body":"It's just when you get the numbers"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1186.4759999999999,"endTime":1193.086,"body":"that there are on Twitter, et cetera."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1193.086,"endTime":1195.636,"body":"I mean, I know you've got"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1193.086,"endTime":1195.636,"body":"an awful lot of followers."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1196.206,"endTime":1200.796,"body":"I'd probably have about three"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1196.206,"endTime":1200.796,"body":"because I don't use it apart"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1201.546,"endTime":1201.9959999999999,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1202.0259999999998,"endTime":1204.316,"body":"I've, I've got 28, 29,000."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1204.336,"endTime":1207.336,"body":"Something like that, which it sounds"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1204.336,"endTime":1207.336,"body":"like, which is a big number, I guess,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1207.7259999999999,"endTime":1210.4959999999999,"body":"When I said three,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1207.7259999999999,"endTime":1210.4959999999999,"body":"I meant three, not 3000."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1210.4959999999999,"endTime":1211.216,"body":"I meant three."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1211.606,"endTime":1212.716,"body":"One of them is me"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1212.716,"endTime":1213.2559999999999,"body":"Yes."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1213.827,"endTime":1224.546,"body":"So in terms of developing better,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1213.827,"endTime":1224.546,"body":"self-esteem probably, I would say"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1225.431,"endTime":1225.8509999999999,"body":"Yes."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1225.876,"endTime":1232.716,"body":"And you can get help for that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1225.876,"endTime":1232.716,"body":"sounds a little contrary, cause you"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1232.716,"endTime":1242.744,"body":"you move it internal, but ask people"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1232.716,"endTime":1242.744,"body":"that you know, and love and trust to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1243.8239999999998,"endTime":1254.3439999999998,"body":"Now, the first one being unhappy, low"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1243.8239999999998,"endTime":1254.3439999999998,"body":"sense of contentment dissatisfaction with"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1254.3439999999998,"endTime":1259.0839999999998,"body":"Now, those, those things"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1254.3439999999998,"endTime":1259.0839999999998,"body":"come from the other stuff."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1259.643,"endTime":1264.423,"body":"I think one of the things with"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1259.643,"endTime":1264.423,"body":"inferiority, this is a little theory bit."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1265.463,"endTime":1267.503,"body":"Adler was he Alfred Adler?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1267.992,"endTime":1268.2379999999998,"body":"Yeah"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1268.558,"endTime":1276.384,"body":"Who was one of the main psycho"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1268.558,"endTime":1276.384,"body":"therapists of the mid 20th century sort"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1277.201,"endTime":1286.029,"body":"He had a concept called the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1277.201,"endTime":1286.029,"body":"inferiority complex and his belief"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1286.029,"endTime":1288.069,"body":"And it does make sense because as a child."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1288.6989999999998,"endTime":1291.489,"body":"Well, you are inferior"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1288.6989999999998,"endTime":1291.489,"body":"to the adults around you."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1291.489,"endTime":1295.839,"body":"You can't do the things they can"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1291.489,"endTime":1295.839,"body":"do and bigger siblings as well."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1295.839,"endTime":1304.569,"body":"You know, if you've got a big brother"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1295.839,"endTime":1304.569,"body":"or big sister and they can do things you"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1305.269,"endTime":1309.989,"body":"But if there's enough experiences"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1305.269,"endTime":1309.989,"body":"to dilute down through the upbringing,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1310.274,"endTime":1318.4689999999998,"body":"He says that everybody starts with"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1310.274,"endTime":1318.4689999999998,"body":"it, but it's then what you do with it, not"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1318.4689999999998,"endTime":1331.879,"body":"And that has a tendency to lead to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1318.4689999999998,"endTime":1331.879,"body":"lower self-esteem and the imposter"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1332.839,"endTime":1333.7089999999998,"body":"I remember one time."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1334.579,"endTime":1341.289,"body":"it's a long time ago now, but,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1334.579,"endTime":1341.289,"body":"Steve Wright in the afternoon was"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1341.864,"endTime":1342.734,"body":"Yes."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1342.819,"endTime":1352.1789999999999,"body":"I think that they forgot,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1342.819,"endTime":1352.1789999999999,"body":"but they were talking on air because"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1353.119,"endTime":1357.489,"body":"And I was just listening to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1353.119,"endTime":1357.489,"body":"this thinking, well, if they do,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1359.149,"endTime":1359.6589999999999,"body":"I think,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1359.6789999999999,"endTime":1361.239,"body":"just sort of blows"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1359.6789999999999,"endTime":1361.239,"body":"it out of the water."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1361.6989999999998,"endTime":1363.619,"body":"Steve Wright says something"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1361.6989999999998,"endTime":1363.619,"body":"along the lines of Hello, Steve."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1363.619,"endTime":1366.509,"body":"If you're listening, he might"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1363.619,"endTime":1366.509,"body":"well, listen, I think he said"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1366.509,"endTime":1367.829,"body":"Hello Janet if you are too."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1367.899,"endTime":1368.4089999999999,"body":"Oh, hello Janet."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1368.4089999999999,"endTime":1368.7189999999998,"body":"Yes."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1368.7189999999998,"endTime":1369.349,"body":"May well be listening."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1370.1589999999999,"endTime":1376.61,"body":"I think he said something like,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1370.1589999999999,"endTime":1376.61,"body":"are you like me just wondering"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1377.37,"endTime":1377.7,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1377.955,"endTime":1383.385,"body":"And when I heard that story,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1377.955,"endTime":1383.385,"body":"the first cause it would have been"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1383.97,"endTime":1384.4099999999999,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1386.715,"endTime":1391.455,"body":"evidence that people can be"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1386.715,"endTime":1391.455,"body":"successful and still have that experience."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1391.56,"endTime":1394.99,"body":"I've heard it a lot"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1391.56,"endTime":1394.99,"body":"from successful clients a lot"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1395.965,"endTime":1396.185,"body":"story."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1396.215,"endTime":1403.225,"body":"Yeah, it's one of the things"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1396.215,"endTime":1403.225,"body":"that people don't tend to say in"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1403.945,"endTime":1404.425,"body":"I hope so."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1404.455,"endTime":1410.905,"body":"but it's the sort of thing"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1404.455,"endTime":1410.905,"body":"that successful people will tell"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1411.906,"endTime":1417.4859999999999,"body":"One thing that jumped out at me"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1411.906,"endTime":1417.4859999999999,"body":"was, and I'll look it up here because."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1419.961,"endTime":1423.591,"body":"The UN declaration of human rights is"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1419.961,"endTime":1423.591,"body":"what I'm thinking of and how it starts."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1423.591,"endTime":1425.6009999999999,"body":"Article one, here it is."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1427.191,"endTime":1432.261,"body":"All human beings are born free"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1427.191,"endTime":1432.261,"body":"and equal in dignity and rights."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1432.471,"endTime":1436.581,"body":"That's how the UN declaration"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1432.471,"endTime":1436.581,"body":"of human rights starts."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1436.761,"endTime":1441.501,"body":"All human beings are born free"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1436.761,"endTime":1441.501,"body":"and equal in dignity and rights."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1442.461,"endTime":1444.081,"body":"There aren't any exceptions to that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1444.8609999999999,"endTime":1445.551,"body":"No matter where you are."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1446.406,"endTime":1452.166,"body":"No matter what you've done, you"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1446.406,"endTime":1452.166,"body":"are equal to everybody else."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1452.166,"endTime":1457.686,"body":"And just as deserving of dignity and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1452.166,"endTime":1457.686,"body":"rights, doesn't matter what you've done."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1457.966,"endTime":1463.926,"body":"Doesn't matter what you're spilt or"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1457.966,"endTime":1463.926,"body":"dropped or smashed or whatever went"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1465.098,"endTime":1471.158,"body":"You deserve forgiveness for anything and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1465.098,"endTime":1471.158,"body":"everything, no matter how big or small."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1472.108,"endTime":1482.788,"body":"There's a phrase that I"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1472.108,"endTime":1482.788,"body":"often use with clients who have"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1484.913,"endTime":1495.883,"body":"The phrase is \"You are just as important"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1484.913,"endTime":1495.883,"body":"and just as special as anyone else\""},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1495.883,"endTime":1496.223,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1497.3429999999998,"endTime":1507.5649999999998,"body":"The reason it's better in"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1497.3429999999998,"endTime":1507.5649999999998,"body":"hypnosis, you know, this Richard, but"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1508.994,"endTime":1511.5439999999999,"body":"And not put up a defense"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1508.994,"endTime":1511.5439999999999,"body":"and not say, oh yeah."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1511.604,"endTime":1517.124,"body":"Oh, well, of course that's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1511.604,"endTime":1517.124,"body":"obvious and defend against it."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1517.964,"endTime":1522.734,"body":"In hypnosis it can get through"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1517.964,"endTime":1522.734,"body":"and not be defended against."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1523.1589999999999,"endTime":1523.549,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1523.934,"endTime":1524.8239999999998,"body":"But it's true."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1525.884,"endTime":1529.964,"body":"You, whoever that is"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1525.884,"endTime":1529.964,"body":"are, just as important."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1529.964,"endTime":1535.165,"body":"And just as special as anyone else,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1529.964,"endTime":1535.165,"body":"whatever anybody has ever said to you."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1536.365,"endTime":1536.7649999999999,"body":"You are."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1536.7649999999999,"endTime":1540.9099999999999,"body":"And I wonder how many"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1536.7649999999999,"endTime":1540.9099999999999,"body":"people who are listening and because"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1540.9099999999999,"endTime":1548.1699999999998,"body":"up they're, not in hypnosis, they're"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1540.9099999999999,"endTime":1548.1699999999998,"body":"being really conscious when they hear"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1548.2,"endTime":1554.51,"body":"There's a voice in the head that says no,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1548.2,"endTime":1554.51,"body":"I'm not everybody else's but I'm not no."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1554.6899999999998,"endTime":1556.25,"body":"Cause cause I'm rubbish."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1557.84,"endTime":1559.01,"body":"And that needs to be challenged."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1559.01,"endTime":1560.21,"body":"That needs to be diluted down."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1560.22,"endTime":1566.24,"body":"But it starts with accepting that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1560.22,"endTime":1566.24,"body":"that's the way a part of you thinks"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1566.6899999999998,"endTime":1571.1299999999999,"body":"I get it, but I'm ready"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1566.6899999999998,"endTime":1571.1299999999999,"body":"to move on from that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1571.22,"endTime":1572.06,"body":"ideology now."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1573.235,"endTime":1576.745,"body":"And part of that is"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1573.235,"endTime":1576.745,"body":"accepting that you're not perfect."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1577.729,"endTime":1578.509,"body":"Whoever you are."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1578.6889999999999,"endTime":1587.119,"body":"You're not perfect if you were"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1578.6889999999999,"endTime":1587.119,"body":"perfect, you wouldn't be perfect"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1587.119,"endTime":1587.9589999999998,"body":"You don't want that?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1588.412,"endTime":1589.402,"body":"Quite intimidating isn't it"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1589.402,"endTime":1589.532,"body":"It is."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1589.532,"endTime":1590.262,"body":"But it would be."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1590.3419999999999,"endTime":1591.962,"body":"Yeah,  no."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1592.282,"endTime":1593.252,"body":"So being perfect."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1593.252,"endTime":1593.972,"body":"Isn't perfect."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1593.972,"endTime":1598.172,"body":"So perhaps you're just imperfectly"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1593.972,"endTime":1598.172,"body":"perfect or perfectly imperfect."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1600.4859999999999,"endTime":1602.586,"body":"Even Mary Poppins"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1600.4859999999999,"endTime":1602.586,"body":"was only practically perfect."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1607.0259999999998,"endTime":1608.2259999999999,"body":"Ooh, gonna like that one."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1608.2259999999999,"endTime":1608.946,"body":"I'm going to keep that one."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1608.9759999999999,"endTime":1610.296,"body":"You can have that one for free folks."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1615.696,"endTime":1617.556,"body":"So how do we dilute this down?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1617.646,"endTime":1620.706,"body":"How do people raise their self-esteem?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1621.666,"endTime":1622.326,"body":"What can they do?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1622.326,"endTime":1623.136,"body":"What can they say?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1624.0939999999998,"endTime":1628.004,"body":"I would actually"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1624.0939999999998,"endTime":1628.004,"body":"suggest, well, obviously we"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1628.0739999999998,"endTime":1628.999,"body":"See therapist, yeah."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1629.454,"endTime":1641.8919999999998,"body":"But apart from that, as I"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1629.454,"endTime":1641.8919999999998,"body":"said, talk to your friends and family,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1641.8919999999998,"endTime":1643.512,"body":"I'm going to decide for myself."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1644.6419999999998,"endTime":1648.4189999999999,"body":"At some point we need to do, an"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1644.6419999999998,"endTime":1648.4189999999999,"body":"episode on forgiveness of self."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1649.182,"endTime":1652.617,"body":"As well as forgiveness of"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1649.182,"endTime":1652.617,"body":"others that will come into it."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1653.254,"endTime":1667.866,"body":"But also I would suggest writing"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1653.254,"endTime":1667.866,"body":"things down, just get yourself a nice"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1667.866,"endTime":1670.239,"body":"And then you can look"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1667.866,"endTime":1670.239,"body":"at the words that come."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1670.879,"endTime":1681.249,"body":"And if there's far too many comparatively"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1670.879,"endTime":1681.249,"body":"negative words to positive words,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1682.089,"endTime":1688.589,"body":"And maybe I'm not the negative"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1682.089,"endTime":1688.589,"body":"ones, but also see most concepts"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1689.109,"endTime":1691.9589999999998,"body":"So good to bad, just as a simple one."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1691.9589999999998,"endTime":1696.841,"body":"And there's loads of others on all"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1691.9589999999998,"endTime":1696.841,"body":"sorts of criteria for judging oneself."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1697.051,"endTime":1699.923,"body":"I.e building self-esteem move along it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1700.873,"endTime":1701.283,"body":"Hmm."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1701.913,"endTime":1702.443,"body":"Just move."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1702.493,"endTime":1703.243,"body":"We can do that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1703.243,"endTime":1711.213,"body":"Like you say, when somebody is doing that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1703.243,"endTime":1711.213,"body":"writing, whether it's to an email, to a"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1711.213,"endTime":1722.633,"body":"So it's completely private and you"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1711.213,"endTime":1722.633,"body":"say, I am, and then you start writing"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1722.663,"endTime":1726.443,"body":"I I've got to accept that that's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1722.663,"endTime":1726.443,"body":"the opinion I have about myself."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1728.233,"endTime":1730.423,"body":"We need to counterbalance"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1728.233,"endTime":1730.423,"body":"that with something else."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1731.927,"endTime":1738.627,"body":"And there are three little statements"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1731.927,"endTime":1738.627,"body":"that could work on the, not that little"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1738.837,"endTime":1748.687,"body":"And I first stumbled across them"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1738.837,"endTime":1748.687,"body":"through it was, um, a woman who have"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1749.047,"endTime":1750.397,"body":"She's probably she's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1749.047,"endTime":1750.397,"body":"quite well known actually."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1750.397,"endTime":1751.367,"body":"So you might not have"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1751.5169999999998,"endTime":1753.0169999999998,"body":"fact she's only got one L."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1753.157,"endTime":1753.7369999999999,"body":"She's lovely."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1754.347,"endTime":1756.697,"body":"Yes, despite the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1754.347,"endTime":1756.697,"body":"fact She's still lovely."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1757.597,"endTime":1765.879,"body":"And when she was going through"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1757.597,"endTime":1765.879,"body":"some of her self esteem boosting"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1765.879,"endTime":1770.379,"body":"I think I even put it in my book, 15"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1765.879,"endTime":1770.379,"body":"Minutes to Happiness available in all"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1771.263,"endTime":1774.059,"body":"She had to talk to herself"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1771.263,"endTime":1774.059,"body":"to improve that self-talk."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1775.09,"endTime":1787.1599999999999,"body":"And it started by saying I'm"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1775.09,"endTime":1787.1599999999999,"body":"proud that you and then fill in"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1787.1599999999999,"endTime":1794.26,"body":"No matter how small, I'm proud"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1787.1599999999999,"endTime":1794.26,"body":"that you managed to get out of bed"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1794.271,"endTime":1798.771,"body":"Try and start there and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1794.271,"endTime":1798.771,"body":"then I forgive you for."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1800.816,"endTime":1802.076,"body":"I forgive you for."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1802.106,"endTime":1811.7659999999998,"body":"You might have to say your name, Richard,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1802.106,"endTime":1811.7659999999998,"body":"I forgive you for whatever, letting your"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1811.886,"endTime":1813.206,"body":"I forgive you for."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1813.2359999999999,"endTime":1816.296,"body":"And you talk about it to yourself"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1813.2359999999999,"endTime":1816.296,"body":"and you can write this down."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1817.166,"endTime":1822.146,"body":"And then I think the important"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1817.166,"endTime":1822.146,"body":"one is then I commit to you that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1822.9859999999999,"endTime":1825.356,"body":"And then you write the things that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1822.9859999999999,"endTime":1825.356,"body":"you're going to commit to yourself."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1825.356,"endTime":1827.9959999999999,"body":"I commit to you that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1828.686,"endTime":1833.186,"body":"And you write about or talk about"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1828.686,"endTime":1833.186,"body":"in the mirror, all the things"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1834.491,"endTime":1842.8609999999999,"body":"Commitment to change commitment to do that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1834.491,"endTime":1842.8609999999999,"body":"one thing or those two things or whatever"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1844.421,"endTime":1854.5919999999999,"body":"when you do that on a regular basis,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1844.421,"endTime":1854.5919999999999,"body":"it will dilute down all those times"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1854.6219999999998,"endTime":1862.9279999999999,"body":"inferior, whatever it is, but it does"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1854.6219999999998,"endTime":1862.9279999999999,"body":"take repetition and it does take a lot of"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1862.9279999999999,"endTime":1863.798,"body":"It might be quite tearful."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1863.798,"endTime":1866.168,"body":"It might be quite emotional"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1863.798,"endTime":1866.168,"body":"to explore all those things."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1866.1979999999999,"endTime":1872.378,"body":"It's better with a therapist really,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1866.1979999999999,"endTime":1872.378,"body":"really is to explore all those things,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1872.4679999999998,"endTime":1874.058,"body":"We can be our own therapist."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1874.088,"endTime":1876.008,"body":"Certainly we can be our own friend."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1876.338,"endTime":1877.778,"body":"Maybe it starts there."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1877.9879999999998,"endTime":1881.408,"body":"Treat yourself in the same way"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1877.9879999999998,"endTime":1881.408,"body":"that you would treat others."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1882.248,"endTime":1888.666,"body":"What Jesus said supposedly on the,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1882.248,"endTime":1888.666,"body":"with his sermon on the mount to do"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1889.751,"endTime":1891.721,"body":"What we need to do with the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1889.751,"endTime":1891.721,"body":"way around don't we as well."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1892.231,"endTime":1903.3709999999999,"body":"Do unto ourselves as we would do unto"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1892.231,"endTime":1903.3709999999999,"body":"others have that same level of respect and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1903.3709999999999,"endTime":1905.951,"body":"Here, that's my soap box."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1909.955,"endTime":1911.845,"body":"We're going to have to come back"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1909.955,"endTime":1911.845,"body":"to this topic at some point."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1911.845,"endTime":1912.595,"body":"Cause it's huge."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1913.825,"endTime":1918.9479999999999,"body":"And I expect there's going to be other"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1913.825,"endTime":1918.9479999999999,"body":"questions that are of a similar ilk and"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1919.158,"endTime":1920.398,"body":"And it does underlie"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1920.818,"endTime":1921.388,"body":"so much"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1921.388,"endTime":1922.148,"body":"Everything."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1922.433,"endTime":1923.633,"body":"Yeah, it really does."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1923.633,"endTime":1932.0629999999999,"body":"I think a lot of people's issues"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1923.633,"endTime":1932.0629999999999,"body":"do start with boosting their"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1932.0929999999998,"endTime":1933.1129999999998,"body":"It really, really does."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1934.787,"endTime":1940.907,"body":"Well, I think that's a good note to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1934.787,"endTime":1940.907,"body":"bring things to a close for today"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1941.143,"endTime":1953.8519999999999,"body":"in the previous two endings, I think"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1941.143,"endTime":1953.8519999999999,"body":"it was two of the episodes that we did,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1954.302,"endTime":1956.5819999999999,"body":"We also need to be"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1954.302,"endTime":1956.5819999999999,"body":"excellent to ourselves too."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1956.8819999999998,"endTime":1962.6119999999999,"body":"So that's again, your homework go"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1956.8819999999998,"endTime":1962.6119999999999,"body":"and be excellent to each other,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1964.807,"endTime":1965.317,"body":"Lovely."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1965.317,"endTime":1965.937,"body":"Have a nice week."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1965.937,"endTime":1966.537,"body":"folks"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1967.473,"endTime":1968.424,"body":"See you next time."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1968.943,"endTime":1969.883,"body":"Bye bye"}]}