{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":39.528,"endTime":40.464,"body":"Hi there, folks."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":40.734,"endTime":45.114000000000004,"body":"Welcome to another episode of"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":40.734,"endTime":45.114000000000004,"body":"the Therapy Natters podcast."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":45.414,"endTime":47.274,"body":"I'm psychotherapist"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":45.414,"endTime":47.274,"body":"Richard Nicholls."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":47.394000000000005,"endTime":50.844,"body":"And with me as always is"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":47.394000000000005,"endTime":50.844,"body":"another psychotherapist"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":51.054,"endTime":52.674,"body":"to help answer some"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":51.054,"endTime":52.674,"body":"of your questions."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":52.824,"endTime":55.914,"body":"It's everyone's favorite"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":52.824,"endTime":55.914,"body":"Fiona, apart from possibly"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":55.914,"endTime":58.194,"body":"that princess from"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":55.914,"endTime":58.194,"body":"Shrek, it's Fiona Biddle."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":58.314,"endTime":59.004000000000005,"body":"Hi Fiona."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":59.304,"endTime":60.324,"body":"Do you know any other Fionas?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":60.324,"endTime":60.524,"body":"Hi,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":60.928,"endTime":62.818,"body":"it's not"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":60.928,"endTime":62.818,"body":"that popular a name."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":62.818,"endTime":63.178,"body":"Is it really?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":64.10300000000001,"endTime":67.43299999999999,"body":"I was once in a room"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":64.10300000000001,"endTime":67.43299999999999,"body":"with four other Fiona and"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":67.43299999999999,"endTime":70.16300000000001,"body":"nobody else, or it might"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":67.43299999999999,"endTime":70.16300000000001,"body":"have been three other Fiona's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":70.16300000000001,"endTime":72.37299999999999,"body":"there might have been four"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":70.16300000000001,"endTime":72.37299999999999,"body":"of us, that was a bit weird."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":72.973,"endTime":75.493,"body":"But yeah, it's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":72.973,"endTime":75.493,"body":"not that common."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":75.673,"endTime":77.443,"body":"This Fiona Bruce,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":75.673,"endTime":77.443,"body":"the news reader."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":77.628,"endTime":79.118,"body":"Fiona"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":77.628,"endTime":79.118,"body":"Bruce from the BBC"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":79.30799999999999,"endTime":81.25800000000001,"body":"Well, my"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":79.30799999999999,"endTime":81.25800000000001,"body":"brother's name is Bruce."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":81.25800000000001,"endTime":81.828,"body":"So"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":82.527,"endTime":83.507,"body":"Fiona and Bruce fi."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":83.517,"endTime":85.797,"body":"Bruce, the, the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":83.517,"endTime":85.797,"body":"news reader came along and"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":85.797,"endTime":87.027,"body":"there's a politician as well."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":87.11699999999999,"endTime":89.447,"body":"An MP called Fiona"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":87.11699999999999,"endTime":89.447,"body":"Bruce strangely."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":89.666,"endTime":90.686,"body":"There's not"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":89.666,"endTime":90.686,"body":"that many Richards."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":90.686,"endTime":92.066,"body":"I mean, there is"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":90.686,"endTime":92.066,"body":"a lot of Richards."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":92.27600000000001,"endTime":94.076,"body":"That's a, that's a"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":92.27600000000001,"endTime":94.076,"body":"relatively common name."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":94.076,"endTime":95.156,"body":"There's a"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":94.076,"endTime":95.156,"body":"lot of Richards."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":95.161,"endTime":96.14599999999999,"body":"There's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":95.161,"endTime":96.14599999999999,"body":"a lot of Richards."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":96.26599999999999,"endTime":97.67599999999999,"body":"There's not that many"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":96.26599999999999,"endTime":97.67599999999999,"body":"Richard Nicholls."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":98.356,"endTime":101.46600000000001,"body":"There's a photographer who"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":98.356,"endTime":101.46600000000001,"body":"got the richardnicholls.co.uk"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":102.106,"endTime":102.826,"body":"domain name."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":102.876,"endTime":104.626,"body":"God damn you,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":102.876,"endTime":104.626,"body":"Richard Nicholls."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":107.231,"endTime":109.42099999999999,"body":"Did you hear that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":107.231,"endTime":109.42099999999999,"body":"the first, I think it was"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":109.42099999999999,"endTime":113.945,"body":"the first Ukrainian baby"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":109.42099999999999,"endTime":113.945,"body":"born of, refugees to the UK."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":113.975,"endTime":114.785,"body":"It was called Richard."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":116.525,"endTime":118.745,"body":"They, they called the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":116.525,"endTime":118.745,"body":"baby Richard and I"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":118.75,"endTime":120.245,"body":"thought, oh, that's nice."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":120.42500000000001,"endTime":121.525,"body":"Let's bring it back."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":122.04499999999999,"endTime":122.195,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":122.255,"endTime":124.445,"body":"Cuz Richard Osman has talked"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":122.255,"endTime":124.445,"body":"about the fact that there"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":124.445,"endTime":125.76499999999999,"body":"aren't any Richards anymore."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":126.1,"endTime":127.27000000000001,"body":"My son used"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":126.1,"endTime":127.27000000000001,"body":"to go to school with"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":127.27000000000001,"endTime":128.2,"body":"somebody called Brian."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":128.26,"endTime":129.58,"body":"And I think he was"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":128.26,"endTime":129.58,"body":"probably the youngest"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":129.58,"endTime":130.57,"body":"Brian in the country."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":130.897,"endTime":133.057,"body":"Hello to you if you are"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":130.897,"endTime":133.057,"body":"that Brian, or maybe"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":133.057,"endTime":134.077,"body":"you're a younger Brian."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":134.617,"endTime":137.587,"body":"Brian, what a great name,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":134.617,"endTime":137.587,"body":"imagine looking at a baby"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":137.587,"endTime":138.667,"body":"and going you're a Brian."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":139.025,"endTime":139.415,"body":"Brilliant."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":139.415,"endTime":139.865,"body":"It is."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":139.985,"endTime":143.915,"body":"Weird with names, some of the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":139.985,"endTime":143.915,"body":"names that we just completely"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":143.915,"endTime":147.575,"body":"associate with old people,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":143.915,"endTime":147.575,"body":"and you'd never think of"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":147.575,"endTime":150.185,"body":"calling a baby that, but"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":147.575,"endTime":150.185,"body":"then they go round in cycles."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":150.185,"endTime":153.572,"body":"So I know when my niece and"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":150.185,"endTime":153.572,"body":"nephew were born and they were"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":153.572,"endTime":156.362,"body":"given old fashioned names."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":156.396,"endTime":158.30599999999998,"body":"But now they're very common."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":158.446,"endTime":160.896,"body":"Because they go"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":158.446,"endTime":160.896,"body":"round in circles."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":161.52599999999998,"endTime":163.761,"body":"Because it's always"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":161.52599999999998,"endTime":163.761,"body":"the meaning behind it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":163.761,"endTime":164.15099999999998,"body":"Isn't it?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":164.24099999999999,"endTime":166.821,"body":"The meaning behind the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":164.24099999999999,"endTime":166.821,"body":"word or the name that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":166.826,"endTime":171.24099999999999,"body":"creates the response that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":166.826,"endTime":171.24099999999999,"body":"creates the reaction, which"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":171.24099999999999,"endTime":175.751,"body":"brings me quite nicely on"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":171.24099999999999,"endTime":175.751,"body":"today's topic of failure"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":176.201,"endTime":177.87099999999998,"body":"and what that means."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":178.631,"endTime":179.921,"body":"And I think it"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":178.631,"endTime":179.921,"body":"does mean something"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":179.921,"endTime":180.781,"body":"different to everybody."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":180.781,"endTime":181.751,"body":"Doesn't it?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":182.254,"endTime":183.83599999999998,"body":"It can mean something"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":182.254,"endTime":183.83599999999998,"body":"different to everybody,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":183.83599999999998,"endTime":186.11599999999999,"body":"but also different things"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":183.83599999999998,"endTime":186.11599999999999,"body":"to different people in"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":186.11599999999999,"endTime":189.317,"body":"different circumstances"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":186.11599999999999,"endTime":189.317,"body":"within their own life."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":189.897,"endTime":197.24699999999999,"body":"So if I was to play golf, I"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":189.897,"endTime":197.24699999999999,"body":"think I might have said this"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":197.24699999999999,"endTime":201.983,"body":"before I, and I failed, I"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":197.24699999999999,"endTime":201.983,"body":"wouldn't be the slightest bit"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":201.983,"endTime":204.813,"body":"bothered because I know that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":201.983,"endTime":204.813,"body":"I would, and, it would be"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":205.063,"endTime":207.63299999999998,"body":"expected and not a big deal."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":208.233,"endTime":211.35299999999998,"body":"If I was to fail playing"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":208.233,"endTime":211.35299999999998,"body":"trivial pursuit and made"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":211.35299999999998,"endTime":215.67,"body":"a complete mess of the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":211.35299999999998,"endTime":215.67,"body":"game, then I'd be bothered."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":216.58499999999998,"endTime":219.165,"body":"So it's context dependent"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":216.58499999999998,"endTime":219.165,"body":"apart from anything else,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":219.165,"endTime":221.805,"body":"but people do have general"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":219.165,"endTime":221.805,"body":"tendencies, of course."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":222.378,"endTime":227.797,"body":"Because if you've got good"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":222.378,"endTime":227.797,"body":"self-esteem, then failure's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":228.067,"endTime":230.947,"body":"gonna make less of an"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":228.067,"endTime":230.947,"body":"impact, but it also ties"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":230.947,"endTime":232.417,"body":"into that self-efficacy."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":232.987,"endTime":235.174,"body":"So Wimbledon's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":232.987,"endTime":235.174,"body":"happening right now."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":235.174,"endTime":239.284,"body":"So if Rafa Nadal was to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":235.174,"endTime":239.284,"body":"lose to somebody who was"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":239.289,"endTime":244.084,"body":"ranked 200 in the world,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":239.289,"endTime":244.084,"body":"that's going to bother him"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":244.774,"endTime":248.884,"body":"because his self-efficacy"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":244.774,"endTime":248.884,"body":"is such, but his self-esteem"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":248.944,"endTime":250.894,"body":"is also high I presume."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":250.98399999999998,"endTime":255.6,"body":"And I hope that he'd be able"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":250.98399999999998,"endTime":255.6,"body":"to brush it off more quickly."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":256.29,"endTime":257.57,"body":"So it's quite complicated."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":258.296,"endTime":262.494,"body":"Well, I had a"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":258.296,"endTime":262.494,"body":"client once who was young"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":262.584,"endTime":266.147,"body":"and they were very good"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":262.584,"endTime":266.147,"body":"at tennis and they were"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":266.147,"endTime":268.209,"body":"the best in their school."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":268.519,"endTime":269.896,"body":"So they always won."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":270.556,"endTime":271.666,"body":"And they did"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":270.556,"endTime":271.666,"body":"really, really well."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":271.666,"endTime":273.226,"body":"So they joined a tennis"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":271.666,"endTime":273.226,"body":"club and they were the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":273.226,"endTime":277.096,"body":"best in their town and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":273.226,"endTime":277.096,"body":"they almost always won."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":277.096,"endTime":277.786,"body":"They did really well."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":277.786,"endTime":279.676,"body":"So they joined a bigger"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":277.786,"endTime":279.676,"body":"group, bigger club,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":279.766,"endTime":281.926,"body":"best in the county doing"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":279.766,"endTime":281.926,"body":"really, really well."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":283.00600000000003,"endTime":287.206,"body":"Then they went to a coaching"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":283.00600000000003,"endTime":287.206,"body":"school, a specific tennis"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":287.206,"endTime":290.056,"body":"school that did academic"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":287.206,"endTime":290.056,"body":"stuff, but 99% of the time"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":290.056,"endTime":293.476,"body":"you were playing tennis, which"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":290.056,"endTime":293.476,"body":"is the best of the country."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":293.506,"endTime":294.766,"body":"All put into one place."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":295.306,"endTime":298.711,"body":"Now they're not the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":295.306,"endTime":298.711,"body":"best, of the people"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":298.711,"endTime":299.251,"body":"that are around them."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":299.251,"endTime":301.231,"body":"And their game suffered"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":299.251,"endTime":301.231,"body":"and they went downhill."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":301.621,"endTime":302.851,"body":"It didn't motivate them."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":302.851,"endTime":304.111,"body":"It didn't inspire them."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":304.231,"endTime":306.631,"body":"It pulled them down"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":304.231,"endTime":306.631,"body":"because they were so"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":306.631,"endTime":310.021,"body":"used to riding the waves"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":306.631,"endTime":310.021,"body":"of I'm great at this."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":310.171,"endTime":312.211,"body":"I don't have to work"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":310.171,"endTime":312.211,"body":"too hard to, to beat"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":312.211,"endTime":315.341,"body":"anybody until you do."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":316.11899999999997,"endTime":317.349,"body":"They were"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":316.11899999999997,"endTime":317.349,"body":"talking about that."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":317.649,"endTime":320.049,"body":"Some of the commentators"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":317.649,"endTime":320.049,"body":"at Wimbledon about the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":320.049,"endTime":325.43,"body":"American college system and"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":320.049,"endTime":325.43,"body":"how the junior rankings mean"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":325.435,"endTime":328.55,"body":"virtually nothing because"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":325.435,"endTime":328.55,"body":"it's only when they get to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":328.55,"endTime":332.95799999999997,"body":"that level where they're"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":328.55,"endTime":332.95799999999997,"body":"all the same, that it sorts"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":332.95799999999997,"endTime":334.171,"body":"out the different things."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":334.171,"endTime":336.541,"body":"And then the mental game"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":334.171,"endTime":336.541,"body":"comes into it, of course."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":336.72499999999997,"endTime":338.255,"body":"Would you like me to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":336.72499999999997,"endTime":338.255,"body":"read the questions?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":338.645,"endTime":339.155,"body":"Go on then"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":339.536,"endTime":342.38599999999997,"body":"So we have"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":339.536,"endTime":342.38599999999997,"body":"two similar topics."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":342.67,"endTime":348.327,"body":"The first one is from Matthew"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":342.67,"endTime":348.327,"body":"who is in Hull and he says,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":348.327,"endTime":351.927,"body":"although my self-esteem has"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":348.327,"endTime":351.927,"body":"never been great, I've found"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":351.927,"endTime":354.537,"body":"that being made redundant"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":351.927,"endTime":354.537,"body":"has really knocked me."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":355.137,"endTime":356.877,"body":"It's felt like an"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":355.137,"endTime":356.877,"body":"absolute failure."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":358.557,"endTime":360.897,"body":"Not only in that I"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":358.557,"endTime":360.897,"body":"failed at holding down"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":360.897,"endTime":363.927,"body":"the job, but I failed at"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":360.897,"endTime":363.927,"body":"providing for my family."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":364.46999999999997,"endTime":367.92,"body":"It's turned, failing something"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":364.46999999999997,"endTime":367.92,"body":"into being a failure as"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":367.92,"endTime":371.04,"body":"a human, and I'm taking"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":367.92,"endTime":371.04,"body":"everything personally."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":371.594,"endTime":372.164,"body":"Okay."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":372.224,"endTime":378.074,"body":"The second one is from Celia"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":372.224,"endTime":378.074,"body":"in Ipswich and she says, how"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":378.074,"endTime":381.314,"body":"do you help someone with the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":378.074,"endTime":381.314,"body":"negative feelings they have?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":382.169,"endTime":385.55899999999997,"body":"After they failed an exam,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":382.169,"endTime":385.55899999999997,"body":"they expected to pass,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":385.965,"endTime":388.485,"body":"even though they're working"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":385.965,"endTime":388.485,"body":"on retaking the exam in"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":388.485,"endTime":389.955,"body":"spite of those feelings."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":390.5,"endTime":391.01,"body":"Mm."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":391.52,"endTime":394.52,"body":"So we've got slightly"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":391.52,"endTime":394.52,"body":"different scenarios there,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":394.52,"endTime":397.513,"body":"but both about how do"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":394.52,"endTime":397.513,"body":"you cope with failure?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":397.513,"endTime":399.913,"body":"And I think, firstly,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":397.513,"endTime":399.913,"body":"I'd like to say about."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":400.513,"endTime":406.363,"body":"Matthew from Hull being made"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":400.513,"endTime":406.363,"body":"redundant is very unlikely to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":406.363,"endTime":408.673,"body":"be actually about you Matthew,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":409.466,"endTime":410.006,"body":"Good point."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":410.919,"endTime":414.489,"body":"Because that's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":410.919,"endTime":414.489,"body":"not how redundancy works."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":415.22499999999997,"endTime":416.205,"body":"If you were sacked."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":417.105,"endTime":417.315,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":417.315,"endTime":419.295,"body":"If there was some gross"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":417.315,"endTime":419.295,"body":"misconduct and you had a"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":419.295,"endTime":422.505,"body":"verbal warning and then a"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":419.295,"endTime":422.505,"body":"written warning, and then"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":422.53499999999997,"endTime":427.005,"body":"look, sorry, mate, this is"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":422.53499999999997,"endTime":427.005,"body":"not on, you've got to go then."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":427.155,"endTime":427.425,"body":"Fine."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":427.425,"endTime":430.485,"body":"Take that personally, even"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":427.425,"endTime":430.485,"body":"though there's probably"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":430.485,"endTime":432.675,"body":"still stuff to work on"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":430.485,"endTime":432.675,"body":"with that, but redundancy."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":433.62,"endTime":433.98,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":433.98,"endTime":436.26,"body":"That's how somebody"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":433.98,"endTime":436.26,"body":"runs their business and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":436.26,"endTime":437.43,"body":"having to let people go."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":437.88,"endTime":439.14,"body":"That's not on you."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":439.578,"endTime":441.918,"body":"There's such"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":439.578,"endTime":441.918,"body":"strict rules on it."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":441.918,"endTime":444.798,"body":"That it really"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":441.918,"endTime":444.798,"body":"it's very unlikely."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":445.038,"endTime":447.498,"body":"I mean, there's, there's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":445.038,"endTime":447.498,"body":"the possibility that was you"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":447.498,"endTime":451.218,"body":"Matthew against, I dunno some"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":447.498,"endTime":451.218,"body":"other person and they had to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":451.218,"endTime":454.818,"body":"choose one with everything"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":451.218,"endTime":454.818,"body":"being equal between the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":454.823,"endTime":457.638,"body":"two and they chose you,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":454.823,"endTime":457.638,"body":"but that's pretty unlikely."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":458.498,"endTime":462.158,"body":"And even, so that might"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":458.498,"endTime":462.158,"body":"be on, you know, the color"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":462.158,"endTime":466.418,"body":"of your shirt rather than"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":462.158,"endTime":466.418,"body":"anything that's worth judging."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":467.318,"endTime":470.88,"body":"But having said that these"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":467.318,"endTime":470.88,"body":"are your feelings, this"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":470.885,"endTime":472.77,"body":"is how you, you feel."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":473.13,"endTime":475.436,"body":"And that's tough."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":476.13599999999997,"endTime":478.436,"body":"It's, it's really,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":476.13599999999997,"endTime":478.436,"body":"really tough to have"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":478.856,"endTime":480.346,"body":"taken this so hard."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":481.141,"endTime":483.181,"body":"Then I'm sort of feeling, I"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":481.141,"endTime":483.181,"body":"don't want to be saying you"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":483.181,"endTime":486.481,"body":"shouldn't have taken it hard"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":483.181,"endTime":486.481,"body":"cuz you did and that's valid."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":487.553,"endTime":489.83299999999997,"body":"I remember people"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":487.553,"endTime":489.83299999999997,"body":"describing the good old"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":489.83299999999997,"endTime":491.813,"body":"days when there was lots"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":489.83299999999997,"endTime":491.813,"body":"of factories about, and if"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":491.813,"endTime":493.973,"body":"you didn't get on with your"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":491.813,"endTime":493.973,"body":"boss, you could just walk"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":493.973,"endTime":496.553,"body":"out of the door and walk into"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":493.973,"endTime":496.553,"body":"the factory next door and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":496.553,"endTime":497.843,"body":"going, I've left that place."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":497.843,"endTime":498.443,"body":"He's an idiot."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":498.443,"endTime":499.193,"body":"I'm looking for a job."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":499.313,"endTime":500.513,"body":"What do you want me to do?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":500.573,"endTime":501.893,"body":"And they go, oh, there's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":500.573,"endTime":501.893,"body":"a machine over there."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":502.163,"endTime":504.15,"body":"Just go and get yourself"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":502.163,"endTime":504.15,"body":"set up and I'll speak to HR."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":504.15,"endTime":504.93,"body":"We'll get you details."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":505.26,"endTime":507.24,"body":"And that was it just"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":505.26,"endTime":507.24,"body":"wandered from factory to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":507.24,"endTime":508.8,"body":"factory doing a day's work."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":509.545,"endTime":510.355,"body":"That wasn't that long ago."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":510.355,"endTime":513.4150000000001,"body":"That was maybe not quite in"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":510.355,"endTime":513.4150000000001,"body":"my lifetime, but you know, it"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":513.4150000000001,"endTime":514.735,"body":"was early seventies probably."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":515.125,"endTime":516.775,"body":"And that, that was"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":515.125,"endTime":516.775,"body":"a regular thing."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":516.865,"endTime":517.708,"body":"So I'm told."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":518.0,"endTime":519.2900000000001,"body":"That's not the case anymore."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":519.47,"endTime":520.46,"body":"It really isn't."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":520.58,"endTime":521.63,"body":"To try and find a job."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":521.635,"endTime":523.13,"body":"I know there's, there's,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":521.635,"endTime":523.13,"body":"there's lots about."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":524.0,"endTime":526.91,"body":"Trying to find one that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":524.0,"endTime":526.91,"body":"matches you is not so easy."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":527.4200000000001,"endTime":530.15,"body":"And we do have to apply, and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":527.4200000000001,"endTime":530.15,"body":"I'm hearing these stories"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":530.15,"endTime":532.82,"body":"quite a lot lately of, of"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":530.15,"endTime":532.82,"body":"people coming outta university"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":532.82,"endTime":533.57,"body":"and then going right."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":534.0790000000001,"endTime":537.769,"body":"I'm ready to get working now,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":534.0790000000001,"endTime":537.769,"body":"but the world seems to be on"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":537.769,"endTime":540.859,"body":"fire and energy prices are"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":537.769,"endTime":540.859,"body":"high and food prices are high."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":540.859,"endTime":545.6590000000001,"body":"And ah, this isn't so easy"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":540.859,"endTime":545.6590000000001,"body":"and having to apply for dozens"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":545.6590000000001,"endTime":548.0590000000001,"body":"and dozens and dozens and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":545.6590000000001,"endTime":548.0590000000001,"body":"dozens, you know, literally"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":548.0590000000001,"endTime":550.9090000000001,"body":"a hundred applications before"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":548.0590000000001,"endTime":550.9090000000001,"body":"they even get an interview."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":551.359,"endTime":553.0690000000001,"body":"And then they're having to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":551.359,"endTime":553.0690000000001,"body":"have lots and lots of issues"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":553.0690000000001,"endTime":554.1790000000001,"body":"before they get offered a job."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":555.9490000000001,"endTime":558.499,"body":"Is the way it is right now."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":558.9490000000001,"endTime":561.469,"body":"And maybe that's the way"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":558.9490000000001,"endTime":561.469,"body":"it's always gonna be."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":561.8290000000001,"endTime":562.999,"body":"And we need to accept that."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":563.6740000000001,"endTime":565.504,"body":"I think it probably"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":563.6740000000001,"endTime":565.504,"body":"before the seventies,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":565.5640000000001,"endTime":568.3340000000001,"body":"that it was like that  cuz"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":565.5640000000001,"endTime":568.3340000000001,"body":"remember early seventies"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":568.3340000000001,"endTime":571.094,"body":"was all the three day"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":568.3340000000001,"endTime":571.094,"body":"week and stuff like that."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":571.094,"endTime":575.1460000000001,"body":"So probably talking sixties,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":571.094,"endTime":575.1460000000001,"body":"but  I know when I, did"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":575.1460000000001,"endTime":579.249,"body":"an IT degree and then you"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":575.1460000000001,"endTime":579.249,"body":"could just walk into jobs."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":579.4290000000001,"endTime":582.609,"body":"It was like that then"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":579.4290000000001,"endTime":582.609,"body":"for those cuz there"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":582.609,"endTime":584.3190000000001,"body":"were plenty of them and"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":582.609,"endTime":584.3190000000001,"body":"people weren't qualified."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":584.6790000000001,"endTime":587.3530000000001,"body":"So that probably still"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":584.6790000000001,"endTime":587.3530000000001,"body":"is with some things like"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":587.3530000000001,"endTime":592.753,"body":"care homes, but it's about"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":587.3530000000001,"endTime":592.753,"body":"the interpretation of"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":592.9830000000001,"endTime":594.9820000000001,"body":"Feeling judged."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":595.4920000000001,"endTime":596.032,"body":"Isn't it."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":596.221,"endTime":597.0010000000001,"body":"that's the thing."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":597.35,"endTime":599.36,"body":"He feels, yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":599.36,"endTime":603.23,"body":"Matthew feels that he's,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":599.36,"endTime":603.23,"body":"that he's letting down"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":603.23,"endTime":606.7700000000001,"body":"his family that he's,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":603.23,"endTime":606.7700000000001,"body":"that, that he's a failure."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":606.7700000000001,"endTime":607.69,"body":"That he's a disappointment."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":608.45,"endTime":612.1700000000001,"body":"And of course that feeling"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":608.45,"endTime":612.1700000000001,"body":"isn't motivational."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":612.94,"endTime":615.94,"body":"That isn't the sort of feeling"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":612.94,"endTime":615.94,"body":"that leads you to go right."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":615.94,"endTime":616.75,"body":"Fantastic."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":616.84,"endTime":619.0300000000001,"body":"Every Monday morning and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":616.84,"endTime":619.0300000000001,"body":"go, come on, let's do"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":619.0300000000001,"endTime":620.5300000000001,"body":"this rock and roll lads."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":620.5300000000001,"endTime":621.19,"body":"Come on."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":622.0300000000001,"endTime":624.61,"body":"That's disappointment"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":622.0300000000001,"endTime":624.61,"body":"and sadness and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":624.61,"endTime":625.5400000000001,"body":"feeling like a failure."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":625.5450000000001,"endTime":627.13,"body":"Isn't gonna motivate us."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":627.527,"endTime":629.5070000000001,"body":"Emotions are there to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":627.527,"endTime":629.5070000000001,"body":"motivate us that there to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":629.5070000000001,"endTime":630.5870000000001,"body":"tell us something's wrong."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":630.5870000000001,"endTime":631.427,"body":"Take action."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":631.9970000000001,"endTime":634.397,"body":"But we need to look"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":631.9970000000001,"endTime":634.397,"body":"beneath everything."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":634.397,"endTime":637.0970000000001,"body":"Look at that emotion and go,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":634.397,"endTime":637.0970000000001,"body":"what is it trying to tell me?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":637.817,"endTime":640.0970000000001,"body":"And then we can challenge"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":637.817,"endTime":640.0970000000001,"body":"it if we have to."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":640.4530000000001,"endTime":643.8430000000001,"body":"Whereas in Celia's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":640.4530000000001,"endTime":643.8430000000001,"body":"example, it's different"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":643.8430000000001,"endTime":644.7130000000001,"body":"in that, that person."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":644.7130000000001,"endTime":647.893,"body":"I don't know if it's Celia"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":644.7130000000001,"endTime":647.893,"body":"herself or somebody she knows."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":648.0730000000001,"endTime":651.133,"body":"But whoever that is,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":648.0730000000001,"endTime":651.133,"body":"who's failed an exam."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":651.5790000000001,"endTime":653.1990000000001,"body":"And is looking to retake it."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":654.609,"endTime":658.582,"body":"That can be motivational"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":654.609,"endTime":658.582,"body":"because that can really,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":660.442,"endTime":665.8820000000001,"body":"you find out what you did"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":660.442,"endTime":665.8820000000001,"body":"wrong and if at all possible"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":666.772,"endTime":669.3820000000001,"body":"fix it, that's not always"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":666.772,"endTime":669.3820000000001,"body":"going to be possible."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":669.3820000000001,"endTime":672.2320000000001,"body":"I know when I failed my"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":669.3820000000001,"endTime":672.2320000000001,"body":"history O, level and using"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":672.2320000000001,"endTime":674.932,"body":"the term O level really dates"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":672.2320000000001,"endTime":674.932,"body":"me, but that's what it was."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":675.6120000000001,"endTime":680.5020000000001,"body":"I realized what I had done"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":675.6120000000001,"endTime":680.5020000000001,"body":"wrong, which basically was I"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":680.5020000000001,"endTime":682.9620000000001,"body":"had not revised adequately."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":683.5920000000001,"endTime":687.8820000000001,"body":"So I retook it and fixed"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":683.5920000000001,"endTime":687.8820000000001,"body":"that and got it and"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":688.542,"endTime":690.3720000000001,"body":"avoided that feeling."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":690.7320000000001,"endTime":693.0730000000001,"body":"Cause that was not a"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":690.7320000000001,"endTime":693.0730000000001,"body":"nice feeling, since, but"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":693.0730000000001,"endTime":697.8130000000001,"body":"that's something that I"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":693.0730000000001,"endTime":697.8130000000001,"body":"could do that it's not"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":697.8130000000001,"endTime":699.2230000000001,"body":"always gonna be the case."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":699.8960000000001,"endTime":702.956,"body":"I mean, I, I think there would"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":699.8960000000001,"endTime":702.956,"body":"be lots of exams that, however"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":702.956,"endTime":707.096,"body":"hard I tried, I was never"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":702.956,"endTime":707.096,"body":"gonna, well being a doctor."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":707.096,"endTime":711.416,"body":"I was talking to a doctor"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":707.096,"endTime":711.416,"body":"yesterday about training"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":712.166,"endTime":715.196,"body":"and I thought, no, I"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":712.166,"endTime":715.196,"body":"could never have done"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":715.196,"endTime":718.3760000000001,"body":"that too, too, too much."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":718.4960000000001,"endTime":719.336,"body":"No, I couldn't."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":719.606,"endTime":721.4960000000001,"body":"Couldn't couldn't"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":719.606,"endTime":721.4960000000001,"body":"have done that."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":721.7840000000001,"endTime":726.614,"body":"but if it's something that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":721.7840000000001,"endTime":726.614,"body":"is doable and I suppose that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":726.614,"endTime":727.724,"body":"then goes back to Matthew."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":728.5880000000001,"endTime":732.5550000000001,"body":"We don't know what the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":728.5880000000001,"endTime":732.5550000000001,"body":"job was  but bearing in"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":732.5550000000001,"endTime":736.0350000000001,"body":"mind that almost certainly"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":732.5550000000001,"endTime":736.0350000000001,"body":"wasn't about you, Matthew."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":736.4340000000001,"endTime":741.484,"body":"There is, I can't see any"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":736.4340000000001,"endTime":741.484,"body":"reason as in a logical"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":742.1640000000001,"endTime":745.9440000000001,"body":"reason for not being able"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":742.1640000000001,"endTime":745.9440000000001,"body":"to get back on the horse"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":746.34,"endTime":747.4200000000001,"body":"or maybe a different horse."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":748.475,"endTime":751.3330000000001,"body":"But  we can't always"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":748.475,"endTime":751.3330000000001,"body":"wait until things feel right."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":751.6030000000001,"endTime":754.8850000000001,"body":"A lot of people their actions"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":751.6030000000001,"endTime":754.8850000000001,"body":"are based on their feelings."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":754.8850000000001,"endTime":755.9050000000001,"body":"I feel ready."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":756.32,"endTime":759.38,"body":"And then they take action"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":756.32,"endTime":759.38,"body":"for, for a lot of things."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":759.38,"endTime":762.2,"body":"The action has to come first"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":759.38,"endTime":762.2,"body":"and the feelings will follow."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":763.1020000000001,"endTime":766.912,"body":"And I know that's not easy,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":763.1020000000001,"endTime":766.912,"body":"cuz it means if we've been"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":766.912,"endTime":771.202,"body":"knocked by a rejection, cause"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":766.912,"endTime":771.202,"body":"it is a rejection being made"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":771.202,"endTime":774.4110000000001,"body":"redundant is being told"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":771.202,"endTime":774.4110000000001,"body":"in some particular way,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":775.1310000000001,"endTime":777.711,"body":"we don't need you here or"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":775.1310000000001,"endTime":777.711,"body":"we don't want you here."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":777.921,"endTime":779.3910000000001,"body":"And that's not a nice thing."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":779.451,"endTime":781.9110000000001,"body":"The way the brain lights"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":779.451,"endTime":781.9110000000001,"body":"up when we rejected."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":782.2560000000001,"endTime":786.0260000000001,"body":"Is exactly the same areas"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":782.2560000000001,"endTime":786.0260000000001,"body":"as it is when we are,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":786.394,"endTime":788.644,"body":"given electric shocks"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":786.394,"endTime":788.644,"body":"or we've got just one."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":789.5590000000001,"endTime":790.219,"body":"a second."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":791.089,"endTime":795.9490000000001,"body":"It feels like we are being"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":791.089,"endTime":795.9490000000001,"body":"told that we are not wanted."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":796.729,"endTime":801.349,"body":"It could be that, that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":796.729,"endTime":801.349,"body":"boss really, really, really"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":801.349,"endTime":804.619,"body":"wants Matthew and needs"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":801.349,"endTime":804.619,"body":"him, but can't have him."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":805.134,"endTime":805.464,"body":"So just."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":806.484,"endTime":808.3140000000001,"body":"Interject"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":806.484,"endTime":808.3140000000001,"body":"on that, that, yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":808.3140000000001,"endTime":808.5540000000001,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":808.5840000000001,"endTime":809.004,"body":"We dunno."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":809.094,"endTime":809.874,"body":"No, you're quite right."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":810.1740000000001,"endTime":813.504,"body":"Or it's again, it's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":810.1740000000001,"endTime":813.504,"body":"the meaning behind it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":813.504,"endTime":816.451,"body":"And if the meaning"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":813.504,"endTime":816.451,"body":"isn't painful, then we"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":816.451,"endTime":817.561,"body":"shouldn't have pain."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":817.8610000000001,"endTime":820.2510000000001,"body":"And that's a way of"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":817.8610000000001,"endTime":820.2510000000001,"body":"our emotions telling"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":820.2510000000001,"endTime":822.051,"body":"our unconscious it's."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":822.056,"endTime":822.081,"body":"Okay."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":823.041,"endTime":824.961,"body":"The meaning behind"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":823.041,"endTime":824.961,"body":"this can change."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":824.961,"endTime":828.667,"body":"You are still wanted, liked"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":824.961,"endTime":828.667,"body":"whatever it is, whatever the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":828.667,"endTime":833.3470000000001,"body":"rejection is, we're still"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":828.667,"endTime":833.3470000000001,"body":"lovable, desirable, whatever,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":834.187,"endTime":838.0870000000001,"body":"just because somebody rejected"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":834.187,"endTime":838.0870000000001,"body":"us in some way, shape or form."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":838.4490000000001,"endTime":840.369,"body":"think there's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":838.4490000000001,"endTime":840.369,"body":"also a cultural element."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":840.4290000000001,"endTime":844.029,"body":"I think that, that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":840.4290000000001,"endTime":844.029,"body":"there's something about"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":844.0340000000001,"endTime":845.7990000000001,"body":"that word redundancy."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":845.7990000000001,"endTime":850.936,"body":"That's got a meaning"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":845.7990000000001,"endTime":850.936,"body":"in British culture of"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":851.1160000000001,"endTime":852.3760000000001,"body":"not wanted, not needed."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":853.2650000000001,"endTime":854.075,"body":"whereas."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":854.465,"endTime":855.455,"body":"That's not necessarily."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":855.455,"endTime":857.4350000000001,"body":"I mean, I don't know"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":855.455,"endTime":857.4350000000001,"body":"about that specific word,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":857.4350000000001,"endTime":861.1700000000001,"body":"but I'm thinking about"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":857.4350000000001,"endTime":861.1700000000001,"body":"in America failure, is"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":861.4670000000001,"endTime":862.817,"body":"seen quite differently."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":863.5970000000001,"endTime":867.287,"body":"So I've heard things said"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":863.5970000000001,"endTime":867.287,"body":"about, you know, American"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":867.797,"endTime":870.4200000000001,"body":"business people, if you"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":867.797,"endTime":870.4200000000001,"body":"haven't been bankrupt"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":870.74,"endTime":871.97,"body":"a couple of times."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":872.75,"endTime":875.63,"body":"Then you're no good because"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":872.75,"endTime":875.63,"body":"you've got to go through that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":875.63,"endTime":878.9300000000001,"body":"experience of having failed"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":875.63,"endTime":878.9300000000001,"body":"at a business in order to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":878.9300000000001,"endTime":880.2800000000001,"body":"be successful in a business."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":880.58,"endTime":883.88,"body":"Now that doesn't apply here,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":880.58,"endTime":883.88,"body":"we wouldn't think that I"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":883.88,"endTime":888.2600000000001,"body":"mean happens, but it doesn't"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":883.88,"endTime":888.2600000000001,"body":"have, it's not a prerequisite"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":888.2600000000001,"endTime":890.12,"body":"for success to fail."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":890.975,"endTime":895.085,"body":"Oh, I think some"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":890.975,"endTime":895.085,"body":"elements of, of failure is a"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":895.1020000000001,"endTime":897.5440000000001,"body":"prerequisite to living though."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":897.6940000000001,"endTime":897.754,"body":"It."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":898.21,"endTime":898.9000000000001,"body":"Oh, I agree."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":898.9000000000001,"endTime":901.48,"body":"It is, but I don't think"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":898.9000000000001,"endTime":901.48,"body":"it's part of our culture."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":901.72,"endTime":905.23,"body":"It's not part of, it's not"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":901.72,"endTime":905.23,"body":"part of our culture to, to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":905.23,"endTime":909.4300000000001,"body":"say failure is actually good,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":905.23,"endTime":909.4300000000001,"body":"but from the NLP thing, of"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":909.4300000000001,"endTime":912.384,"body":"course, which says that there"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":909.4300000000001,"endTime":912.384,"body":"is no such thing as failure."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":913.2840000000001,"endTime":914.514,"body":"Oh only"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":913.2840000000001,"endTime":914.514,"body":"opportunities."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":914.724,"endTime":915.114,"body":"Yes."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":915.3240000000001,"endTime":916.734,"body":"It's a little toxic"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":915.3240000000001,"endTime":916.734,"body":"though, isn't it?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":917.2840000000001,"endTime":917.5740000000001,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":917.6640000000001,"endTime":917.874,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":917.874,"endTime":919.7940000000001,"body":"I don't, I don't,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":917.874,"endTime":919.7940000000001,"body":"I don't like it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":919.894,"endTime":920.4140000000001,"body":"I don't like it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":920.4140000000001,"endTime":923.3040000000001,"body":"It, it really pushes aside"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":920.4140000000001,"endTime":923.3040000000001,"body":"how people feel this isn't"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":923.3090000000001,"endTime":925.524,"body":"a, this is, this is just"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":923.3090000000001,"endTime":925.524,"body":"an opportunity to learn."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":926.244,"endTime":927.474,"body":"I still feel crap."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":927.9540000000001,"endTime":928.5840000000001,"body":"This still hurts."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":929.339,"endTime":932.399,"body":"I fail my driving test"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":929.339,"endTime":932.399,"body":"three times before I passed,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":932.4590000000001,"endTime":936.5390000000001,"body":"because I was too young or"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":932.4590000000001,"endTime":936.5390000000001,"body":"too impulsive or whatever it"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":936.5390000000001,"endTime":940.101,"body":"was, but drove too quickly"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":936.5390000000001,"endTime":940.101,"body":"argued with the examiner."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":940.4540000000001,"endTime":944.946,"body":"It was only because I left"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":940.4540000000001,"endTime":944.946,"body":"it so long between the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":944.946,"endTime":945.846,"body":"third and fourth attempt."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":947.096,"endTime":948.716,"body":"That I had time to get"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":947.096,"endTime":948.716,"body":"my head around it, that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":948.716,"endTime":949.8860000000001,"body":"I grew up a little bit."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":950.096,"endTime":953.666,"body":"And I do wonder if I had"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":950.096,"endTime":953.666,"body":"a bit of a chip on my"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":953.666,"endTime":955.3760000000001,"body":"shoulder when I was 17, 18."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":956.186,"endTime":958.466,"body":"And I think that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":956.186,"endTime":958.466,"body":"influenced it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":958.6460000000001,"endTime":959.726,"body":"The meaning behind."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":960.596,"endTime":962.966,"body":"You're no good at this and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":960.596,"endTime":962.966,"body":"that, isn't what they said."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":962.966,"endTime":965.3960000000001,"body":"They said, no, you didn't,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":962.966,"endTime":965.3960000000001,"body":"you didn't hit the mark."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":965.586,"endTime":966.576,"body":"We've marked you down."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":966.9060000000001,"endTime":969.3960000000001,"body":"The meaning behind that was"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":966.9060000000001,"endTime":969.3960000000001,"body":"far more painful for me when"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":969.3960000000001,"endTime":972.9960000000001,"body":"I was 18 than it was when"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":969.3960000000001,"endTime":972.9960000000001,"body":"I learned again, when I was"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":974.0160000000001,"endTime":976.5360000000001,"body":"22, 23, something like that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":976.566,"endTime":979.356,"body":"After I'd got a motorbike for"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":976.566,"endTime":979.356,"body":"a few years and eventually"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":979.356,"endTime":981.666,"body":"then my girlfriend who's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":979.356,"endTime":981.666,"body":"now my wife said, I'm fed"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":981.666,"endTime":982.686,"body":"for driving you around."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":984.816,"endTime":985.8660000000001,"body":"learn to drive."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":986.341,"endTime":987.7510000000001,"body":"And the motivation came back."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":988.6560000000001,"endTime":991.1160000000001,"body":"I failed my driving"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":988.6560000000001,"endTime":991.1160000000001,"body":"test the first time."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":991.7460000000001,"endTime":995.8860000000001,"body":"Because I had to come out of"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":991.7460000000001,"endTime":995.8860000000001,"body":"a T junction and a car came"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":995.976,"endTime":1001.4960000000001,"body":"speeding around the corner"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":995.976,"endTime":1001.4960000000001,"body":"and my examiner slammed on the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1001.946,"endTime":1004.5260000000001,"body":"brake in the dual control car."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1005.336,"endTime":1007.4960000000001,"body":"So I didn't have a ch I"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1005.336,"endTime":1007.4960000000001,"body":"didn't have an opportunity,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1008.0060000000001,"endTime":1009.8660000000001,"body":"but it was, it was one"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1008.0060000000001,"endTime":1009.8660000000001,"body":"of those things where"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1010.2860000000001,"endTime":1013.076,"body":"if that car hadn't come"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1010.2860000000001,"endTime":1013.076,"body":"round, but I was, I was"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1013.076,"endTime":1015.206,"body":"devastated at failing mainly."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1015.206,"endTime":1016.856,"body":"I think I was devastated"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1015.206,"endTime":1016.856,"body":"cuz my brother had"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1016.856,"endTime":1017.606,"body":"passed first time."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1018.0010000000001,"endTime":1021.3910000000001,"body":"So I felt a failure"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1018.0010000000001,"endTime":1021.3910000000001,"body":"in comparison to him."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1022.028,"endTime":1025.478,"body":"One thing about failure is"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1022.028,"endTime":1025.478,"body":"that it is, as we've been"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1026.048,"endTime":1030.878,"body":"saying quite explicitly,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1026.048,"endTime":1030.878,"body":"that it's part of life isn't,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1030.878,"endTime":1033.128,"body":"it is, is part of what we."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1033.563,"endTime":1036.443,"body":"All experience and it's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1033.563,"endTime":1036.443,"body":"what you do with it."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1036.503,"endTime":1039.705,"body":"And that was making me"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1036.503,"endTime":1039.705,"body":"think of, probably the main"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1039.705,"endTime":1043.907,"body":"theory, in one sense, from"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1039.705,"endTime":1043.907,"body":"Carl Rogers one of the early,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1044.091,"endTime":1047.587,"body":"exponents of counseling,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1044.091,"endTime":1047.587,"body":"started the person-centered"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1047.587,"endTime":1051.877,"body":"or client-centered movement,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1047.587,"endTime":1051.877,"body":"and he had this idea of the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1051.877,"endTime":1053.437,"body":"fully functioning person."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1054.577,"endTime":1059.107,"body":"And the thought might be a, an"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1054.577,"endTime":1059.107,"body":"idea to look at that in terms"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1059.107,"endTime":1062.317,"body":"of this concept of failure."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1062.617,"endTime":1064.297,"body":"Does that make some"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1062.617,"endTime":1064.297,"body":"sense to you, Richard?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1065.917,"endTime":1066.2169999999999,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1066.637,"endTime":1070.807,"body":"So Rogers had defined,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1066.637,"endTime":1070.807,"body":"or at least this is"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1070.807,"endTime":1071.7369999999999,"body":"where it's got to now."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1071.7369999999999,"endTime":1074.2269999999999,"body":"So it might not have been"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1071.7369999999999,"endTime":1074.2269999999999,"body":"his explicitly to start with,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1074.232,"endTime":1077.956,"body":"but seven characteristics of"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1074.232,"endTime":1077.956,"body":"a fully functioning person."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1078.8799999999999,"endTime":1080.4099999999999,"body":"So let's go through"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1078.8799999999999,"endTime":1080.4099999999999,"body":"the seven, shall we?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1080.59,"endTime":1080.95,"body":"Oh, yeah, absolutely."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1081.1299999999999,"endTime":1084.61,"body":"So the first"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1081.1299999999999,"endTime":1084.61,"body":"is having a growing"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1084.76,"endTime":1086.6399999999999,"body":"openness to experience."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1088.0,"endTime":1090.425,"body":"Now, I think that's really"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1088.0,"endTime":1090.425,"body":"quite interesting in that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1090.4299999999998,"endTime":1093.605,"body":"it's a growing openness,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1090.4299999999998,"endTime":1093.605,"body":"but we're talking about a"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1093.605,"endTime":1094.985,"body":"fully functioning person."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1094.985,"endTime":1098.195,"body":"So it's about a process it's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1094.985,"endTime":1098.195,"body":"not about, it's not about"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1098.585,"endTime":1101.0149999999999,"body":"the finished product as"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1101.225,"endTime":1103.995,"body":"this is not just"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1101.225,"endTime":1103.995,"body":"positive experiences."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1103.995,"endTime":1107.2949999999998,"body":"This isn't just open to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1103.995,"endTime":1107.2949999999998,"body":"experiencing all the,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1107.5049999999999,"endTime":1109.725,"body":"all the fair ground"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1107.5049999999999,"endTime":1109.725,"body":"rides of the world."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1109.725,"endTime":1111.735,"body":"It's it's all experiences."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1112.335,"endTime":1112.665,"body":"Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1112.7549999999999,"endTime":1113.7749999999999,"body":"Including failure."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1114.5249999999999,"endTime":1114.915,"body":"yes."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1114.915,"endTime":1117.635,"body":"Including failure and"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1114.915,"endTime":1117.635,"body":"being able to cope."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1117.635,"endTime":1120.0149999999999,"body":"Isn't that, something"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1117.635,"endTime":1120.0149999999999,"body":"about that that poem,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1120.2849999999999,"endTime":1122.965,"body":"if about, is it, if the,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1123.2749999999999,"endTime":1124.465,"body":"Rudyard Kipling."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1124.925,"endTime":1128.625,"body":"yes, he, you can face"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1124.925,"endTime":1128.625,"body":"triumph and disaster and"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1128.685,"endTime":1133.637,"body":"treat them both the same,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1128.685,"endTime":1133.637,"body":"that, that sort of idea, In"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1133.637,"endTime":1135.167,"body":"this example I've got here."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1135.167,"endTime":1138.2369999999999,"body":"It talks about it being,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1135.167,"endTime":1138.2369999999999,"body":"not being too defensive."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1138.2369999999999,"endTime":1142.462,"body":"So not  going into a situation"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1138.2369999999999,"endTime":1142.462,"body":"and presuming that you"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1142.462,"endTime":1145.792,"body":"need your defenses up or"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1142.462,"endTime":1145.792,"body":"that it's going to be bad."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1145.792,"endTime":1151.042,"body":"So being open to whatever's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1145.792,"endTime":1151.042,"body":"going on around you,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1151.866,"endTime":1153.879,"body":"the second one is to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1151.866,"endTime":1153.879,"body":"have an increasingly"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1153.879,"endTime":1155.4689999999998,"body":"existential lifestyle."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1157.119,"endTime":1159.879,"body":"We tend to filter our"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1157.119,"endTime":1159.879,"body":"experiences through the lens"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1160.089,"endTime":1162.399,"body":"of what we already believe"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1160.089,"endTime":1162.399,"body":"about ourselves and about"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1162.399,"endTime":1165.849,"body":"the world, usually in a way"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1162.399,"endTime":1165.849,"body":"that confirms these beliefs."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1166.4779999999998,"endTime":1170.85,"body":"If we adopt what Roger's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1166.4779999999998,"endTime":1170.85,"body":"calls an increasingly"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1170.85,"endTime":1173.76,"body":"existential lifestyle,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1170.85,"endTime":1173.76,"body":"we can flip it around."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1175.11,"endTime":1178.71,"body":"And allow our own personality"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1175.11,"endTime":1178.71,"body":"and self concept to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1178.71,"endTime":1181.2,"body":"develop based on what we"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1178.71,"endTime":1181.2,"body":"are experiencing rather"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1181.2,"endTime":1182.01,"body":"than the other way around."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1182.9399999999998,"endTime":1187.53,"body":"So we allow the outside world,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1182.9399999999998,"endTime":1187.53,"body":"other people to influence"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1187.74,"endTime":1191.46,"body":"us, change us rather than"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1187.74,"endTime":1191.46,"body":"us presuming what's going"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1191.46,"endTime":1193.4959999999999,"body":"on in the outside world."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1193.706,"endTime":1197.306,"body":"It's a little bit different,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1193.706,"endTime":1197.306,"body":"maybe quite a lot different"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1197.306,"endTime":1201.0259999999998,"body":"from existentialism"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1197.306,"endTime":1201.0259999999998,"body":"as a whole theory."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1201.711,"endTime":1205.701,"body":"Number three, increasing"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1201.711,"endTime":1205.701,"body":"organismic trust."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1207.081,"endTime":1210.201,"body":"And that's about"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1207.081,"endTime":1210.201,"body":"trusting ourselves."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1211.491,"endTime":1214.761,"body":"Our colleague and friend,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1211.491,"endTime":1214.761,"body":"Shaun Brookhouse often"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1214.761,"endTime":1218.3519999999999,"body":"talks about trusting"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1214.761,"endTime":1218.3519999999999,"body":"yourself, to trust yourself."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1219.8719999999998,"endTime":1220.992,"body":"That's what this is about."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1221.432,"endTime":1225.492,"body":"So recognizing that yeah,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1221.432,"endTime":1225.492,"body":"you know, instinctively,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1225.492,"endTime":1227.952,"body":"you can trust yourself."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1228.917,"endTime":1230.317,"body":"So using your own values,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1230.7169999999999,"endTime":1231.167,"body":"Mm."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1231.606,"endTime":1235.817,"body":"not necessarily"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1231.606,"endTime":1235.817,"body":"other people's."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1235.887,"endTime":1237.317,"body":"Number four,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1235.887,"endTime":1237.317,"body":"freedom of choice."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1237.712,"endTime":1241.202,"body":"Choice Is one of my"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1237.712,"endTime":1241.202,"body":"favorite words in therapy."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1242.107,"endTime":1245.896,"body":"The number of times, people"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1242.107,"endTime":1245.896,"body":"are not recognizing the things"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1245.896,"endTime":1247.846,"body":"that they can choose to do."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1248.933,"endTime":1253.793,"body":"and you, you can take"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1248.933,"endTime":1253.793,"body":"that to extremes of that."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1254.183,"endTime":1257.758,"body":"All sorts of things are"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1254.183,"endTime":1257.758,"body":"choices in life and maybe"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1257.758,"endTime":1261.088,"body":"some sort of compromise"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1257.758,"endTime":1261.088,"body":"makes some sense, but most"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1261.088,"endTime":1263.608,"body":"people have more choice"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1261.088,"endTime":1263.608,"body":"than they realize that they"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1263.608,"endTime":1267.229,"body":"have in what they can do."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1267.752,"endTime":1269.6419999999998,"body":"Number five creativity."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1270.322,"endTime":1274.974,"body":"A lot of people get their"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1270.322,"endTime":1274.974,"body":"creative juices, squidged when"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1274.974,"endTime":1279.779,"body":"they're younger, uh, children"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1274.974,"endTime":1279.779,"body":"are by nature, very creative."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1280.7549999999999,"endTime":1283.845,"body":"so allowing that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1280.7549999999999,"endTime":1283.845,"body":"creative part of the self"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1283.855,"endTime":1283.915,"body":"Hmm."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1284.945,"endTime":1285.165,"body":"to."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1286.29,"endTime":1290.01,"body":"Come to the fore, not"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1286.29,"endTime":1290.01,"body":"necessarily in terms of"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1290.76,"endTime":1293.82,"body":"the typical creative,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1290.76,"endTime":1293.82,"body":"it's not about art"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1293.985,"endTime":1296.385,"body":"Yeah, this isn't"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1293.985,"endTime":1296.385,"body":"about making papier mache."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1297.2849999999999,"endTime":1298.185,"body":"Yeah, exactly."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1298.185,"endTime":1300.455,"body":"It's it's about risk taking"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1301.245,"endTime":1301.475,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1301.8049999999998,"endTime":1303.55,"body":"And thinking things"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1301.8049999999998,"endTime":1303.55,"body":"differently and"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1303.5549999999998,"endTime":1304.51,"body":"trying things out."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1305.29,"endTime":1308.187,"body":"And well, maybe, if I"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1305.29,"endTime":1308.187,"body":"do this or I do that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1308.187,"endTime":1310.482,"body":"in terms of a colleague"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1308.187,"endTime":1310.482,"body":"at work or something."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1310.692,"endTime":1313.319,"body":"Maybe if I approach"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1310.692,"endTime":1313.319,"body":"this situation."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1313.349,"endTime":1313.649,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1314.115,"endTime":1315.7949999999998,"body":"being able to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1314.115,"endTime":1315.7949999999998,"body":"change perspectives on"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1315.7949999999998,"endTime":1316.7849999999999,"body":"things like failure."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1317.754,"endTime":1321.0539999999999,"body":"Number six, reliability"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1317.754,"endTime":1321.0539999999999,"body":"and constructiveness"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1321.932,"endTime":1327.604,"body":"balancing inner and outer"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1321.932,"endTime":1327.604,"body":"worlds being open to our"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1327.604,"endTime":1331.924,"body":"needs and being able to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1327.604,"endTime":1331.924,"body":"maintain that balance between."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1332.4189999999999,"endTime":1332.509,"body":"Hmm."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1332.749,"endTime":1336.822,"body":"So having a congruent"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1332.749,"endTime":1336.822,"body":"view of yourself, I E one"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1336.822,"endTime":1340.482,"body":"in which their self-worth"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1336.822,"endTime":1340.482,"body":"self-image and ideal self"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1340.4869999999999,"endTime":1343.212,"body":"overlap rather than exist"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1340.4869999999999,"endTime":1343.212,"body":"as separate entities, which"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1343.212,"endTime":1345.492,"body":"is very, like we discussed"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1343.212,"endTime":1345.492,"body":"with the persona shadow"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1345.492,"endTime":1349.165,"body":"and real self and even"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1345.492,"endTime":1349.165,"body":"aggressive needs, which can"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1349.165,"endTime":1351.865,"body":"be matched by the intrinsic"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1349.165,"endTime":1351.865,"body":"goodness within the person."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1354.595,"endTime":1358.0149999999999,"body":"Number seven, a"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1354.595,"endTime":1358.0149999999999,"body":"rich full life."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1359.635,"endTime":1362.455,"body":"Roger's suggesting that the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1359.635,"endTime":1362.455,"body":"fully functioning individual"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1362.455,"endTime":1365.875,"body":"experiences, joy and pain,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1362.455,"endTime":1365.875,"body":"love and heartbreak, fear"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1365.875,"endTime":1367.675,"body":"and courage, more intensely."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1368.835,"endTime":1372.645,"body":"So going back to the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1368.835,"endTime":1372.645,"body":"subject of failure, it"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1372.6499999999999,"endTime":1377.0829999999999,"body":"is about that is about"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1372.6499999999999,"endTime":1377.0829999999999,"body":"being able to take it."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1378.414,"endTime":1379.5539999999999,"body":"Do you remember weebles?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1380.139,"endTime":1381.549,"body":"They wobbled,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1380.139,"endTime":1381.549,"body":"but they don't fall down."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1382.2089999999998,"endTime":1382.569,"body":"Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1382.749,"endTime":1383.229,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1384.1889999999999,"endTime":1385.059,"body":"to be a weeble"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1385.539,"endTime":1386.1689999999999,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1386.529,"endTime":1387.4289999999999,"body":"Be more weeble"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1389.943,"endTime":1392.433,"body":"dunno if they still"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1389.943,"endTime":1392.433,"body":"do them, they might have"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1392.433,"endTime":1394.8329999999999,"body":"been filled with lead at"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1392.433,"endTime":1394.8329999999999,"body":"the bottom or something."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1394.838,"endTime":1396.0929999999998,"body":"Maybe they don't"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1394.838,"endTime":1396.0929999999998,"body":"do them anymore."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1396.098,"endTime":1396.633,"body":"I dunno."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1396.633,"endTime":1399.273,"body":"Um, it's a long time"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1396.633,"endTime":1399.273,"body":"since I've actually looked"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1399.273,"endTime":1403.5929999999998,"body":"to see if weeble still"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1399.273,"endTime":1403.5929999999998,"body":"exist, but for any younger"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1403.623,"endTime":1406.3129999999999,"body":"listeners, if they Don."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1407.568,"endTime":1411.222,"body":"There's a, it was a little"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1407.568,"endTime":1411.222,"body":"toy, which was heavily"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1411.222,"endTime":1413.472,"body":"based at the bottom and you"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1411.222,"endTime":1413.472,"body":"could knock it over and it"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1413.472,"endTime":1414.732,"body":"would bounce back up again."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1415.8719999999998,"endTime":1418.242,"body":"And the catchphrase"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1415.8719999999998,"endTime":1418.242,"body":"was weebles wobble,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1418.242,"endTime":1419.322,"body":"but we don't fall down."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1419.472,"endTime":1421.3619999999999,"body":"Yeah, I remember."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1421.877,"endTime":1425.077,"body":"So at the moment"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1421.877,"endTime":1425.077,"body":"Matthew's fallen down,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1425.687,"endTime":1426.047,"body":"Yes."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1426.047,"endTime":1426.557,"body":"It doesn't feel."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1426.557,"endTime":1426.617,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1426.947,"endTime":1428.027,"body":"himself back up again."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1429.272,"endTime":1429.6019999999999,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1430.1509999999998,"endTime":1431.561,"body":"And how do we do that?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1431.925,"endTime":1436.167,"body":"I think it comes from"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1431.925,"endTime":1436.167,"body":"accepting our reality."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1436.317,"endTime":1437.4569999999999,"body":"This is what has happened."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1437.667,"endTime":1438.9569999999999,"body":"This is how I feel."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1439.6,"endTime":1442.75,"body":"I'm going to act"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1439.6,"endTime":1442.75,"body":"accordingly rather than"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1442.75,"endTime":1446.2,"body":"allow the feelings,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1442.75,"endTime":1446.2,"body":"which are disappointment."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1446.23,"endTime":1447.9099999999999,"body":"That feeling of failure"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1446.23,"endTime":1447.9099999999999,"body":"is disappointment."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1448.4199999999998,"endTime":1450.37,"body":"I'd much rather I'm"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1448.4199999999998,"endTime":1450.37,"body":"disappointed that I'm"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1450.37,"endTime":1454.09,"body":"not working right now"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1450.37,"endTime":1454.09,"body":"than I feel useless."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1454.12,"endTime":1455.71,"body":"Therefore, I am useless."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1455.77,"endTime":1456.59,"body":"No, you're disappointed."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1457.46,"endTime":1459.116,"body":"Therefore, what?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1460.196,"endTime":1461.475,"body":"Cause that's very different."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1462.2849999999999,"endTime":1463.695,"body":"With I am useless."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1464.8049999999998,"endTime":1466.9379999999999,"body":"The action is well there's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1464.8049999999998,"endTime":1466.9379999999999,"body":"no, point in trying to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1466.9379999999999,"endTime":1467.778,"body":"apply for more work."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1467.778,"endTime":1471.078,"body":"No, one's gonna want me,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1467.778,"endTime":1471.078,"body":"whereas recognizing this"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1471.078,"endTime":1472.186,"body":"feeling is disappointment."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1472.347,"endTime":1474.7169999999999,"body":"My expectations haven't been"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1472.347,"endTime":1474.7169999999999,"body":"met and I'm sad about that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1475.3709999999999,"endTime":1476.091,"body":"That's true."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1477.1409999999998,"endTime":1478.971,"body":"We do need to think"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1477.1409999999998,"endTime":1478.971,"body":"more creatively."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1479.571,"endTime":1481.191,"body":"In order to reframe things."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1481.6109999999999,"endTime":1486.531,"body":"And that then does give us"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1481.6109999999999,"endTime":1486.531,"body":"urges to seek out new work"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1486.6209999999999,"endTime":1489.461,"body":"or to, to at least hold"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1486.6209999999999,"endTime":1489.461,"body":"our head high and be okay"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1489.461,"endTime":1491.341,"body":"with I was made redundant."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1491.931,"endTime":1493.311,"body":"Oh, that's it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1493.546,"endTime":1499.393,"body":"I remember  when I was made"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1493.546,"endTime":1499.393,"body":"redundant back in 2003, it"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1499.423,"endTime":1501.3629999999998,"body":"was a great time for me."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1502.378,"endTime":1503.668,"body":"I was just about"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1502.378,"endTime":1503.668,"body":"to get married."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1504.2379999999998,"endTime":1507.328,"body":"And so it was a little"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1504.2379999999998,"endTime":1507.328,"body":"bit scary to think, how am"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1507.328,"endTime":1508.168,"body":"I gonna pay my mortgage?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1508.168,"endTime":1509.668,"body":"I'm supposed to get married"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1508.168,"endTime":1509.668,"body":"next year was thinking"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1509.668,"endTime":1510.838,"body":"about starting a family."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1511.318,"endTime":1511.4679999999998,"body":"Yikes."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1511.4679999999998,"endTime":1515.998,"body":"Now I've got no job, but I've"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1511.4679999999998,"endTime":1515.998,"body":"been waiting for that push to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1516.003,"endTime":1519.087,"body":"become a full-time therapist,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1516.003,"endTime":1519.087,"body":"not just somebody who did"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1519.087,"endTime":1522.087,"body":"it on a Thursday afternoon"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1519.087,"endTime":1522.087,"body":"and a weekend, and being"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1522.087,"endTime":1523.847,"body":"redundant did that for me."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1524.147,"endTime":1526.041,"body":"You are not alone"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1524.147,"endTime":1526.041,"body":"in that there's, a few"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1526.041,"endTime":1529.51,"body":"of you who did it on"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1526.041,"endTime":1529.51,"body":"the basis of redundancy"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1529.72,"endTime":1533.2,"body":"and it's, it can, it can"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1529.72,"endTime":1533.2,"body":"certainly be a good thing."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1533.389,"endTime":1535.6689999999999,"body":"obviously I have no idea"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1533.389,"endTime":1535.6689999999999,"body":"if Matthew got some sort"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1535.6689999999999,"endTime":1538.519,"body":"of package, I have no idea"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1535.6689999999999,"endTime":1538.519,"body":"what Matthew wants to do"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1538.519,"endTime":1541.6689999999999,"body":"with his life, but that's,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1538.519,"endTime":1541.6689999999999,"body":"perhaps this is a good"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1541.674,"endTime":1546.634,"body":"time to really sit down"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1541.674,"endTime":1546.634,"body":"and think, what do I want?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1546.634,"endTime":1548.0739999999998,"body":"I dunno, even how old he is."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1548.589,"endTime":1553.4869999999999,"body":"but let's just say he's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1548.589,"endTime":1553.4869999999999,"body":"40 dunno, just picking a"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1553.4869999999999,"endTime":1557.447,"body":"number out of thin air,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1553.4869999999999,"endTime":1557.447,"body":"let's, let's say he's 40,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1558.2569999999998,"endTime":1561.7669999999998,"body":"he's got another 30 years"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1558.2569999999998,"endTime":1561.7669999999998,"body":"of working cuz by the time"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1561.857,"endTime":1563.187,"body":"he gets there, it'll be 70."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1563.2069999999999,"endTime":1564.347,"body":"He'll be the retirement age."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1565.397,"endTime":1568.9569999999999,"body":"So he's got another 30"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1565.397,"endTime":1568.9569999999999,"body":"years of working at least."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1569.147,"endTime":1569.437,"body":"Well."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1570.2269999999999,"endTime":1573.7069999999999,"body":"What, what does he, what"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1570.2269999999999,"endTime":1573.7069999999999,"body":"does Matthew want those years"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1573.7069999999999,"endTime":1578.597,"body":"to be like, maybe use this"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1573.7069999999999,"endTime":1578.597,"body":"time as a springboard, into"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1579.107,"endTime":1581.657,"body":"finding what he really was."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1581.837,"endTime":1584.7169999999999,"body":"Of course it could be that the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1581.837,"endTime":1584.7169999999999,"body":"job he had was his dream job."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1584.7469999999998,"endTime":1586.4869999999999,"body":"I mean, that's,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1584.7469999999998,"endTime":1586.4869999999999,"body":"it's not impossible."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1587.2549999999999,"endTime":1590.585,"body":"but in which case it'll be"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1587.2549999999999,"endTime":1590.585,"body":"able to get back into it"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1590.585,"endTime":1592.115,"body":"somehow, almost certainly."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1592.819,"endTime":1596.2089999999998,"body":"because the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1592.819,"endTime":1596.2089999999998,"body":"only ones that do are"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1596.2089999999998,"endTime":1598.646,"body":"the ones that attempt to."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1598.7359999999999,"endTime":1602.366,"body":"The ones that take the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1598.7359999999999,"endTime":1602.366,"body":"opportunities, the ones"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1602.366,"endTime":1607.376,"body":"that never do the ones that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1602.366,"endTime":1607.376,"body":"take the redundancy and go,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1607.376,"endTime":1608.576,"body":"wow, this is who I am now."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1608.7259999999999,"endTime":1609.656,"body":"Now I'm 40."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1609.926,"endTime":1611.306,"body":"No, one's gonna want"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1609.926,"endTime":1611.306,"body":"me, I'm too old."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1611.366,"endTime":1614.07,"body":"I'll just take universal"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1611.366,"endTime":1614.07,"body":"credit and just feel"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1614.07,"endTime":1614.97,"body":"sorry for myself."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1616.08,"endTime":1619.484,"body":"They're not the ones"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1616.08,"endTime":1619.484,"body":"that are going to see"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1619.484,"endTime":1620.5339999999999,"body":"the opportunities."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1620.894,"endTime":1621.884,"body":"And so we need to challenge."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1621.884,"endTime":1623.8039999999999,"body":"We do need that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1621.884,"endTime":1623.8039999999999,"body":"creative thinking to go."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1625.214,"endTime":1628.454,"body":"if I had more self-esteem for"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1625.214,"endTime":1628.454,"body":"example, if that gets in the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1628.454,"endTime":1631.154,"body":"way, then what would I do?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1631.394,"endTime":1634.4689999999998,"body":"I need to act like somebody"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1631.394,"endTime":1634.4689999999998,"body":"who behaves that way and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1634.474,"endTime":1636.599,"body":"feels that way and see if"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1634.474,"endTime":1636.599,"body":"I can create those feelings"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1636.599,"endTime":1639.809,"body":"for myself, rather than"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1636.599,"endTime":1639.809,"body":"let my existing feelings"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1639.809,"endTime":1642.869,"body":"hold me back, feel the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1639.809,"endTime":1642.869,"body":"fear and do it anyway."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1642.869,"endTime":1644.1589999999999,"body":"I suppose, as the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1642.869,"endTime":1644.1589999999999,"body":"old phrase goes,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1644.394,"endTime":1647.061,"body":"Yeah,  I think"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1644.394,"endTime":1647.061,"body":"it's worth recognizing"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1647.061,"endTime":1650.511,"body":"though that not everybody"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1647.061,"endTime":1650.511,"body":"can get their dream job."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1651.2549999999999,"endTime":1652.845,"body":"The world doesn't"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1651.2549999999999,"endTime":1652.845,"body":"work like that."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1652.886,"endTime":1655.9389999999999,"body":"it's all very well saying,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1652.886,"endTime":1655.9389999999999,"body":"oh, you know, you can"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1655.9389999999999,"endTime":1656.9289999999999,"body":"fulfill your dreams."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1656.9289999999999,"endTime":1660.019,"body":"Well, if your dream is to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1656.9289999999999,"endTime":1660.019,"body":"win Wimbledon, well only"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1660.019,"endTime":1663.049,"body":"one person does that in each"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1660.019,"endTime":1663.049,"body":"tournament, each side of"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1663.049,"endTime":1666.742,"body":"the thing anyway, but once"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1663.049,"endTime":1666.742,"body":"each year, not everybody can"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1666.742,"endTime":1668.212,"body":"play football for England."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1668.302,"endTime":1670.792,"body":"Not everybody can"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1668.302,"endTime":1670.792,"body":"be an astronaut."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1671.484,"endTime":1675.024,"body":"It's not possible to always"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1671.484,"endTime":1675.024,"body":"fulfill your dreams, but"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1675.444,"endTime":1679.033,"body":"if it is something that's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1675.444,"endTime":1679.033,"body":"really, really, like that,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1679.033,"endTime":1681.6129999999998,"body":"that's, that's a narrow field."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1681.6129999999998,"endTime":1684.3429999999998,"body":"I mean, us talking to somebody"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1681.6129999999998,"endTime":1684.3429999999998,"body":"earlier today about wanting"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1684.348,"endTime":1688.9589999999998,"body":"to be, a dancer, wanting"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1684.348,"endTime":1688.9589999999998,"body":"to be a ballet dancer, the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1688.9589999999998,"endTime":1692.829,"body":"vast majority of people who"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1688.9589999999998,"endTime":1692.829,"body":"try to be a ballet dancer"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1692.829,"endTime":1693.999,"body":"are not going to succeed."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1694.779,"endTime":1697.6889999999999,"body":"For all sorts of reasons, not"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1694.779,"endTime":1697.6889999999999,"body":"least, because there's not"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1697.6889999999999,"endTime":1701.049,"body":"that many ballet companies"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1697.6889999999999,"endTime":1701.049,"body":"that you can join and the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1701.049,"endTime":1704.4689999999998,"body":"numbers are just not gonna"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1701.049,"endTime":1704.4689999999998,"body":"work out for most people,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1704.739,"endTime":1709.76,"body":"but whatever it is, you"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1704.739,"endTime":1709.76,"body":"can look at what it is that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1710.06,"endTime":1714.86,"body":"appeals to you about that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1710.06,"endTime":1714.86,"body":"dream job and see how you"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1714.86,"endTime":1718.041,"body":"can get that in another way."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1718.6109999999999,"endTime":1720.341,"body":"Whether it's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1718.6109999999999,"endTime":1720.341,"body":"in another job, doing"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1720.341,"endTime":1722.8909999999998,"body":"something that still"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1720.341,"endTime":1722.8909999999998,"body":"creates those feelings."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1723.1509999999998,"endTime":1724.971,"body":"Or elsewhere within your"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1723.1509999999998,"endTime":1724.971,"body":"life, you know as a kid."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1724.971,"endTime":1726.4109999999998,"body":"I always wanted"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1724.971,"endTime":1726.4109999999998,"body":"to be an actor."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1726.531,"endTime":1727.671,"body":"Thought, that'd be great."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1727.971,"endTime":1728.781,"body":"Am I a failure?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1728.781,"endTime":1730.071,"body":"Because I'm not an actor."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1730.671,"endTime":1733.6109999999999,"body":"No, but I quite like"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1730.671,"endTime":1733.6109999999999,"body":"doing that sort of stuff."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1733.6409999999998,"endTime":1736.671,"body":"So I work with an amateur"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1733.6409999999998,"endTime":1736.671,"body":"dramatics organization."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1737.031,"endTime":1738.531,"body":"I get my needs met that way."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1739.024,"endTime":1740.783,"body":"When my confidence wasn't"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1739.024,"endTime":1740.783,"body":"good enough to think, you"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1740.783,"endTime":1741.683,"body":"know, I'll be an actor."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1742.0149999999999,"endTime":1743.3,"body":"I pushed it to one side"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1742.0149999999999,"endTime":1743.3,"body":"and said, okay, I'll"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1743.3,"endTime":1745.01,"body":"be a radio DJ instead."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1745.387,"endTime":1746.947,"body":"Am I a failure cuz"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1745.387,"endTime":1746.947,"body":"I don't do that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1747.697,"endTime":1751.297,"body":"No, I was interested in that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1747.697,"endTime":1751.297,"body":"and I'm still interested"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1751.297,"endTime":1753.397,"body":"in that and that's why"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1751.297,"endTime":1753.397,"body":"I've got these podcasts."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1753.397,"endTime":1756.2169999999999,"body":"Because I'm still interested"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1753.397,"endTime":1756.2169999999999,"body":"in how audio works and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1756.2169999999999,"endTime":1759.187,"body":"microphone technique and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1756.2169999999999,"endTime":1759.187,"body":"communication and how we"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1759.187,"endTime":1760.657,"body":"use words to help people."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1760.807,"endTime":1762.5169999999998,"body":"And that's what inspired"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1760.807,"endTime":1762.5169999999998,"body":"me to become a therapist"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1762.5169999999998,"endTime":1763.537,"body":"in the first place."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1763.9569999999999,"endTime":1766.927,"body":"And then I've got all my"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1763.9569999999999,"endTime":1766.927,"body":"needs met, but it's only"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1766.927,"endTime":1770.7369999999999,"body":"because I got to really"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1766.927,"endTime":1770.7369999999999,"body":"know what I wanted first"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1770.7369999999999,"endTime":1774.057,"body":"and that does take thinking."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1774.2669999999998,"endTime":1776.5169999999998,"body":"We need to really get"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1774.2669999999998,"endTime":1776.5169999999998,"body":"to know ourselves and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1776.5169999999998,"endTime":1777.7169999999999,"body":"work out our values."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1777.9869999999999,"endTime":1778.887,"body":"Absolutely."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1779.187,"endTime":1780.177,"body":"We really, really do."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1780.8999999999999,"endTime":1782.72,"body":"I think that's everybody's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1780.8999999999999,"endTime":1782.72,"body":"homework this week Fiona"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1782.8819999999998,"endTime":1783.212,"body":"yeah."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1783.369,"endTime":1787.9769999999999,"body":"So specifically I'd suggest"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1783.369,"endTime":1787.9769999999999,"body":"people really, really"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1787.9769999999999,"endTime":1789.5069999999998,"body":"let themselves think big."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1790.657,"endTime":1794.4399999999998,"body":"Imagine a few years, hence"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1790.657,"endTime":1794.4399999999998,"body":"quite a few years, hence"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1794.4399999999998,"endTime":1798.2079999999999,"body":"depending on your age,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1794.4399999999998,"endTime":1798.2079999999999,"body":"and take away any fear,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1798.268,"endTime":1801.298,"body":"no such thing as fear,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1798.268,"endTime":1801.298,"body":"no limits whatsoever."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1802.358,"endTime":1806.308,"body":"Anything is possible and"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1802.358,"endTime":1806.308,"body":"see what you want to do."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1807.058,"endTime":1810.777,"body":"And then take that back to,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1807.058,"endTime":1810.777,"body":"well, how do I get that?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1810.837,"endTime":1814.4089999999999,"body":"I remember doing this,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1810.837,"endTime":1814.4089999999999,"body":"exercise with somebody who"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1814.4089999999999,"endTime":1818.9199999999998,"body":"was a lady was probably"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1814.4089999999999,"endTime":1818.9199999999998,"body":"about 70 at the time and"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1818.9199999999998,"endTime":1822.58,"body":"tiny, tiny, tiny lady I'm"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1818.9199999999998,"endTime":1822.58,"body":"tiny, but she was tiny."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1824.078,"endTime":1827.798,"body":"And she said that she wanted"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1824.078,"endTime":1827.798,"body":"to be a Sumo wrestler."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1828.9299999999998,"endTime":1830.8799999999999,"body":"It was, it was quite"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1828.9299999999998,"endTime":1830.8799999999999,"body":"difficult not to laugh."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1830.8799999999999,"endTime":1832.1399999999999,"body":"In fact, I did laugh."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1832.264,"endTime":1833.734,"body":"But so did she,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1832.264,"endTime":1833.734,"body":"so that was okay."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1834.244,"endTime":1837.973,"body":"but what it was was she"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1834.244,"endTime":1837.973,"body":"wanted to be significant."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1838.665,"endTime":1842.445,"body":"She wanted to have some"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1838.665,"endTime":1842.445,"body":"level of power and to be seen"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1842.79,"endTime":1843.3,"body":"Wow."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1843.855,"endTime":1845.955,"body":"well, that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1843.855,"endTime":1845.955,"body":"tells you so much."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1846.0,"endTime":1846.45,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1847.665,"endTime":1848.7749999999999,"body":"So it's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1847.665,"endTime":1848.7749999999999,"body":"how to get that."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1850.155,"endTime":1851.925,"body":"There probably better"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1850.155,"endTime":1851.925,"body":"ways to do it than being"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1851.925,"endTime":1854.595,"body":"a Sumo wrestler for a 70"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1851.925,"endTime":1854.595,"body":"year old little tiny lady."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1855.36,"endTime":1855.4199999999998,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1855.4199999999998,"endTime":1856.1699999999998,"body":"A hundred percent."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1856.62,"endTime":1857.1,"body":"Yes."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1857.7749999999999,"endTime":1861.972,"body":"But those sorts"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1857.7749999999999,"endTime":1861.972,"body":"of, exercises can really"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1861.972,"endTime":1864.615,"body":"help you to find out what"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1861.972,"endTime":1864.615,"body":"it is that you can do."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1864.975,"endTime":1865.0649999999998,"body":"And"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1865.08,"endTime":1868.437,"body":"Do it, everybody"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1865.08,"endTime":1868.437,"body":"do it, have a look at"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1868.437,"endTime":1871.4969999999998,"body":"your values and your needs"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1868.437,"endTime":1871.4969999999998,"body":"and your desires and see"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1871.4969999999998,"endTime":1873.2069999999999,"body":"if you're getting those"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1871.4969999999998,"endTime":1873.2069999999999,"body":"needs met in your life."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1873.777,"endTime":1875.807,"body":"And if you aren't, let's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1873.777,"endTime":1875.807,"body":"figure out a way that you"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1875.807,"endTime":1877.047,"body":"can be really, really good."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1878.262,"endTime":1878.472,"body":"tell"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1879.327,"endTime":1880.347,"body":"Yes, please."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1880.347,"endTime":1880.947,"body":"Yes."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1881.0069999999998,"endTime":1884.907,"body":"You can submit any question"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1881.0069999999998,"endTime":1884.907,"body":"to us or even an answer to us."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1884.907,"endTime":1886.527,"body":"If we've asked you a"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1884.907,"endTime":1886.527,"body":"question, there's a"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1886.527,"endTime":1888.417,"body":"submission form on my website."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1888.447,"endTime":1890.187,"body":"Link is in the show notes."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1890.427,"endTime":1893.097,"body":"Well, we better love them"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1890.427,"endTime":1893.097,"body":"and leave them for another"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1893.097,"endTime":1897.2069999999999,"body":"week, Fiona, because, um,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1893.097,"endTime":1897.2069999999999,"body":"tick tock, you seen the time?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1898.566,"endTime":1900.0939999999998,"body":"Need to get"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1898.566,"endTime":1900.0939999999998,"body":"back to watching tennis"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1902.316,"endTime":1903.936,"body":"My turn to make"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1902.316,"endTime":1903.936,"body":"the evening meal tonight."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1904.426,"endTime":1905.806,"body":"So I'm off to go and do that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1906.855,"endTime":1909.7169999999999,"body":"I'll let you catch up"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1906.855,"endTime":1909.7169999999999,"body":"on the tennis and if you"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1909.7169999999999,"endTime":1912.177,"body":"need anything, you know"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1909.7169999999999,"endTime":1912.177,"body":"where to find us, have a"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1912.177,"endTime":1913.647,"body":"lovely week, everybody."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1914.1119999999999,"endTime":1914.947,"body":"Bye everybody."}]}