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what"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":65.843,"endTime":68.453,"body":"I've been doing, but I know"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":68.453,"endTime":71.033,"body":"that last time we said, oh,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":68.453,"endTime":71.033,"body":"maybe Autumn's coming at, I"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":71.333,"endTime":72.60300000000001,"body":"think today it really hit."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":72.733,"endTime":76.063,"body":"It's  really chilly,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":72.733,"endTime":76.063,"body":"but that's nice"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":76.063,"endTime":76.333,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":76.333,"endTime":78.458,"body":"I didn't put the central"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":76.333,"endTime":78.458,"body":"heating on last night,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":78.458,"endTime":80.75800000000001,"body":"but the electric blanket"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":78.458,"endTime":80.75800000000001,"body":"was on 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those that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":119.814,"endTime":123.07400000000001,"body":"do it, they rave about it."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":123.614,"endTime":128.054,"body":"Yeah, but I got my I've"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":123.614,"endTime":128.054,"body":"mentioned my Ukrainian family."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":128.054,"endTime":131.054,"body":"I got them electric"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":128.054,"endTime":131.054,"body":"blankets and their, their"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":131.054,"endTime":132.704,"body":"comment on WhatsApp."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":132.884,"endTime":134.604,"body":"Cuz we communicate"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":132.884,"endTime":134.604,"body":"that way quite often."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":134.604,"endTime":136.242,"body":"Cuz the translation"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":134.604,"endTime":136.242,"body":"makes it easier."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":136.75,"endTime":139.493,"body":"They said we don't need"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":136.75,"endTime":139.493,"body":"to fear the winter now."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":139.873,"endTime":142.25300000000001,"body":"And I thought,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":139.873,"endTime":142.25300000000001,"body":"oh, that's nice."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":142.75300000000001,"endTime":143.103,"body":"Oh,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":143.363,"endTime":144.893,"body":"They're not"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":143.363,"endTime":144.893,"body":"fearing the winter."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":145.373,"endTime":148.403,"body":"Cause they've got"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":145.373,"endTime":148.403,"body":"electric blankets."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":148.703,"endTime":151.133,"body":"do we have that bad"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":148.703,"endTime":151.133,"body":"reputation here in the UK?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":151.403,"endTime":154.103,"body":"I think it's 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right."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":170.023,"endTime":170.893,"body":"What"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":170.023,"endTime":170.893,"body":"have I been doing?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":171.123,"endTime":174.613,"body":"I, I was, oh, I was"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":171.123,"endTime":174.613,"body":"presenting at the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":174.613,"endTime":176.513,"body":"BACP private practice"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":176.553,"endTime":178.77599999999998,"body":"oh, that's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":176.553,"endTime":178.77599999999998,"body":"happened has it."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":178.77599999999998,"endTime":179.36599999999999,"body":"How was it?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":179.606,"endTime":180.456,"body":"It was great."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":180.763,"endTime":182.44299999999998,"body":"It was really nice"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":180.763,"endTime":182.44299999999998,"body":"to see everybody."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":182.623,"endTime":186.646,"body":"I mean follow a few people"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":182.623,"endTime":186.646,"body":"from the BACP on Twitter and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":186.826,"endTime":189.946,"body":"to actually see them in person"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":186.826,"endTime":189.946,"body":"was really, really nice."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":190.196,"endTime":192.176,"body":"Went out for a little meal"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":190.196,"endTime":192.176,"body":"the night before, and then"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":192.176,"endTime":193.65699999999998,"body":"I did my presentation."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":193.897,"endTime":195.85299999999998,"body":"It was only an hour, but"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":193.897,"endTime":195.85299999999998,"body":"there was there was some,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":195.85299999999998,"endTime":197.011,"body":"questions asked 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brilliant."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":247.019,"endTime":249.989,"body":"I'm, I'm impressed and"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":247.019,"endTime":249.989,"body":"very happy that you did it."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":250.337,"endTime":253.397,"body":"We've talked about worthless"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":250.337,"endTime":253.397,"body":"worries before haven't we,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":253.397,"endTime":255.587,"body":"I cannot remember which"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":253.397,"endTime":255.587,"body":"episode, but we have talked"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":255.587,"endTime":256.487,"body":"about worthless worries."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":257.027,"endTime":259.607,"body":"That to me is preparation."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":260.50600000000003,"endTime":260.996,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":261.076,"endTime":263.956,"body":"And okay, maybe"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":261.076,"endTime":263.956,"body":"if you 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care"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":400.706,"endTime":405.596,"body":"what people think that's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":400.706,"endTime":405.596,"body":"somebody who's got a problem."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":405.971,"endTime":407.411,"body":"We talk about continua."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":407.411,"endTime":412.091,"body":"We know just using that on the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":407.411,"endTime":412.091,"body":"anxiety, saying six or seven,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":412.091,"endTime":416.029,"body":"that's on the continuum from 0"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":412.091,"endTime":416.029,"body":"to 10 or whatever end you want"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":416.029,"endTime":417.439,"body":"to use for your continuum."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":417.439,"endTime":421.485,"body":"But if you talk about"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":417.439,"endTime":421.485,"body":"somebody who's at 10 as to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":421.485,"endTime":425.205,"body":"caring what people think"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":421.485,"endTime":425.205,"body":"that could be a problem."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":425.618,"endTime":429.028,"body":"But 0 on a caring"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":425.618,"endTime":429.028,"body":"what people think."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":429.23,"endTime":430.69,"body":"That could be"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":429.23,"endTime":430.69,"body":"a defense mechanism."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":430.94,"endTime":432.84,"body":"People can often"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":430.94,"endTime":432.84,"body":"pretend to not care."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":433.3,"endTime":434.25,"body":"So they call it a zero."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":434.25,"endTime":435.957,"body":"That's . Well,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":434.25,"endTime":435.957,"body":"yes, you can pretend to,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":436.42,"endTime":439.15,"body":"it also depends on what,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":436.42,"endTime":439.15,"body":"what the context is."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":439.15,"endTime":442.33,"body":"So if I'm sitting"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":439.15,"endTime":442.33,"body":"in my little corner."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":442.65999999999997,"endTime":445.69,"body":"Which I spend most of my time"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":442.65999999999997,"endTime":445.69,"body":"sitting in my little corner"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":446.08,"endTime":449.92,"body":"and I'm doing an embroidery,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":446.08,"endTime":449.92,"body":"which again, I spent a lot"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":449.92,"endTime":452.17,"body":"of my time sitting in my"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":449.92,"endTime":452.17,"body":"corner doing an embroidery."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":453.04,"endTime":457.18,"body":"If I was on a scale of one"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":453.04,"endTime":457.18,"body":"to 10 of how people would"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":457.18,"endTime":460.789,"body":"think about that embroidery,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":457.18,"endTime":460.789,"body":"then the zero is absolutely"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":460.789,"endTime":464.526,"body":"fine because it really"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":460.789,"endTime":464.526,"body":"doesn't matter what anybody"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":464.526,"endTime":465.846,"body":"else thinks about it."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":466.512,"endTime":469.122,"body":"I'd still rather, they"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":466.512,"endTime":469.122,"body":"didn't criticize it, but"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":469.36199999999997,"endTime":470.262,"body":"they're not gonna see it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":470.667,"endTime":471.747,"body":"I'll be"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":470.667,"endTime":471.747,"body":"interested though."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":471.752,"endTime":473.622,"body":"When somebody"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":471.752,"endTime":473.622,"body":"talks to me about"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":473.692,"endTime":476.662,"body":"something they're creating"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":473.692,"endTime":476.662,"body":"for example, and they might"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":477.23199999999997,"endTime":481.022,"body":"have this voice in their head,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":477.23199999999997,"endTime":481.022,"body":"this self critic, this inner"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":481.022,"endTime":483.242,"body":"critic, that's criticizing"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":481.022,"endTime":483.242,"body":"the work that they're doing."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":483.242,"endTime":484.17199999999997,"body":"Maybe it's embroidery."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":484.382,"endTime":486.242,"body":"Maybe they're doing some"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":484.382,"endTime":486.242,"body":"embroidery and they've"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":486.242,"endTime":489.36199999999997,"body":"got this voice in the head"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":486.242,"endTime":489.36199999999997,"body":"that says, this is rubbish."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":489.36199999999997,"endTime":490.322,"body":"You dunno what you're doing."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":490.382,"endTime":491.282,"body":"This is awful."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":491.312,"endTime":492.302,"body":"This is awful."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":492.842,"endTime":495.332,"body":"I do wonder if"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":492.842,"endTime":495.332,"body":"it's an introject."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":495.752,"endTime":498.572,"body":"Whether it's not really"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":495.752,"endTime":498.572,"body":"their voice, actually it"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":498.577,"endTime":500.077,"body":"is still an external one."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":500.397,"endTime":501.097,"body":"Absolutely."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":501.122,"endTime":503.162,"body":"And I think I've mentioned"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":501.122,"endTime":503.162,"body":"on here before about"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":503.548,"endTime":506.753,"body":"Needle work classes at"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":503.548,"endTime":506.753,"body":"school where we were so"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":506.813,"endTime":509.783,"body":"judged and you had"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":506.813,"endTime":509.783,"body":"to do it right."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":510.276,"endTime":513.365,"body":"It can be a problem, but it"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":510.276,"endTime":513.365,"body":"doesn't have to be a problem."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":513.4250000000001,"endTime":514.602,"body":"That's what I was getting at."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":514.6320000000001,"endTime":517.152,"body":"You can be a zero and"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":514.6320000000001,"endTime":517.152,"body":"that isn't a problem."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":517.392,"endTime":522.912,"body":"Whereas if you happen to be"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":517.392,"endTime":522.912,"body":"the new prime minister of a"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":523.0020000000001,"endTime":524.712,"body":"major country in the world."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":525.822,"endTime":533.447,"body":"And you say I do not care if"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":525.822,"endTime":533.447,"body":"my policies are unpopular."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":533.995,"endTime":535.885,"body":"Do you, do you not care?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":536.125,"endTime":536.965,"body":"Should you care?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":537.413,"endTime":538.043,"body":"I don't know."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":538.1030000000001,"endTime":539.453,"body":"It's a complicated one."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":539.8910000000001,"endTime":540.101,"body":"Cause"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":540.621,"endTime":541.601,"body":"It is isn't it?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":541.601,"endTime":543.221,"body":"Yeah, it's very specific."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":543.2810000000001,"endTime":543.941,"body":"to be."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":544.605,"endTime":547.755,"body":"In that sort of role, I"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":544.605,"endTime":547.755,"body":"can see you have to be"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":547.755,"endTime":551.625,"body":"prepared to do something that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":547.755,"endTime":551.625,"body":"people will not understand"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":552.225,"endTime":554.8950000000001,"body":"as being a good move."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":555.1,"endTime":560.11,"body":"But specifically to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":555.1,"endTime":560.11,"body":"do something unpopular"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":560.115,"endTime":561.97,"body":"and say it in that way."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":561.97,"endTime":565.1500000000001,"body":"Mm-hmm  makes me wonder."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":565.57,"endTime":566.4100000000001,"body":"Should"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":565.57,"endTime":566.4100000000001,"body":"I read out these"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":566.4100000000001,"endTime":569.0500000000001,"body":"comments so that people know"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":566.4100000000001,"endTime":569.0500000000001,"body":"what we're talking about."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":569.7950000000001,"endTime":570.1650000000001,"body":"Yes."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":570.1650000000001,"endTime":571.2950000000001,"body":"We've nattered too long."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":571.325,"endTime":571.3850000000001,"body":"Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":571.755,"endTime":576.705,"body":"so patron Joanne, who's a"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":571.755,"endTime":576.705,"body":"patron on my Patreon show."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":577.6350000000001,"endTime":579.4350000000001,"body":"And if you're interested,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":577.6350000000001,"endTime":579.4350000000001,"body":"if you would like to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":579.4350000000001,"endTime":581.2650000000001,"body":"hear some more from me."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":581.447,"endTime":583.3670000000001,"body":"If you'd like access to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":581.447,"endTime":583.3670000000001,"body":"some of my hypnotherapy"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":583.6070000000001,"endTime":586.547,"body":"recordings and you'd like"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":583.6070000000001,"endTime":586.547,"body":"to get access access, to me,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":586.7270000000001,"endTime":587.8370000000001,"body":"that sounds really weird."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":587.927,"endTime":589.6070000000001,"body":"But if you'd like to message"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":587.927,"endTime":589.6070000000001,"body":"me and keep in touch with"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":589.6070000000001,"endTime":592.307,"body":"me, or you'd like to support"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":589.6070000000001,"endTime":592.307,"body":"what I do, then yes, you"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":592.307,"endTime":593.3570000000001,"body":"can find me on Patreon."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":593.4770000000001,"endTime":594.557,"body":"Link is in the show notes."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":594.557,"endTime":595.4870000000001,"body":"I'll make sure it's in there."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":595.817,"endTime":596.839,"body":"What Joanne said."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":596.9290000000001,"endTime":598.0390000000001,"body":"A quick question."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":598.604,"endTime":601.6640000000001,"body":"Why do I get so motivated"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":598.604,"endTime":601.6640000000001,"body":"when someone admires"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":601.6640000000001,"endTime":603.5540000000001,"body":"my intellect or career?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":603.7040000000001,"endTime":605.624,"body":"Does it mean I have a big ego."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":606.764,"endTime":611.144,"body":"And on a, a different 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different."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":625.4290000000001,"endTime":625.7890000000001,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":625.9390000000001,"endTime":628.639,"body":"it's all part of the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":625.9390000000001,"endTime":628.639,"body":"same process isn't it?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":628.6690000000001,"endTime":635.1790000000001,"body":"Of external validation of"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":628.6690000000001,"endTime":635.1790000000001,"body":"getting your ideas and your"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":635.365,"endTime":640.4480000000001,"body":"your self-esteem fed to you"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":635.365,"endTime":640.4480000000001,"body":"from the outside, your opinion"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":640.4480000000001,"endTime":643.5980000000001,"body":"of self being fed from the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":640.4480000000001,"endTime":643.5980000000001,"body":"outside, rather than from"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":643.5980000000001,"endTime":646.118,"body":"your own internal place."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":646.178,"endTime":647.888,"body":"And that's not fair."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":648.149,"endTime":650.7890000000001,"body":"Well, it might not be"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":648.149,"endTime":650.7890000000001,"body":"fair, but it is very natural."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":650.7940000000001,"endTime":655.4090000000001,"body":"And I think if we look at"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":650.7940000000001,"endTime":655.4090000000001,"body":"a couple of theories for a"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":655.4090000000001,"endTime":658.349,"body":"minute, and then we get more"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":655.4090000000001,"endTime":658.349,"body":"to the specifics, the idea"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":658.349,"endTime":662.225,"body":"of and we did mention this,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":658.349,"endTime":662.225,"body":"I think it was in episode 13."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":662.783,"endTime":667.283,"body":"There is a term called"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":662.783,"endTime":667.283,"body":"locus of evaluation and it's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":667.4330000000001,"endTime":673.0730000000001,"body":"where do people take their"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":667.4330000000001,"endTime":673.0730000000001,"body":"judgements of themselves from?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":673.7330000000001,"endTime":677.9330000000001,"body":"So an internal locus of"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":673.7330000000001,"endTime":677.9330000000001,"body":"evaluation, the evaluation"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":677.9330000000001,"endTime":683.8280000000001,"body":"is happening within the self"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":677.9330000000001,"endTime":683.8280000000001,"body":"and external is obviously the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":683.8280000000001,"endTime":687.327,"body":"opposite from outside, and"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":683.8280000000001,"endTime":687.327,"body":"this is a Carl Rogers theory."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":687.3870000000001,"endTime":691.1020000000001,"body":"He started it, but many, many"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":687.3870000000001,"endTime":691.1020000000001,"body":"people use it in many spheres."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":691.147,"endTime":695.143,"body":"But a quote from Rogers in"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":691.147,"endTime":695.143,"body":"most statements which make"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":695.2330000000001,"endTime":699.1030000000001,"body":"or imply a value judgment,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":695.2330000000001,"endTime":699.1030000000001,"body":"the spatial locus of the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":699.1030000000001,"endTime":704.2330000000001,"body":"origin of the evaluation can"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":699.1030000000001,"endTime":704.2330000000001,"body":"be rather readily inferred."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":704.7710000000001,"endTime":709.6590000000001,"body":"So if we look at Joanne's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":704.7710000000001,"endTime":709.6590000000001,"body":"comment, why do I get so"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":709.6590000000001,"endTime":713.229,"body":"motivated when someone"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":709.6590000000001,"endTime":713.229,"body":"admires my intellect, career,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":713.8860000000001,"endTime":720.416,"body":"somebody external to her"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":713.8860000000001,"endTime":720.416,"body":"is, judging her positively"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":721.166,"endTime":724.196,"body":"and that does her good."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":724.976,"endTime":727.4860000000001,"body":"Now that's a good"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":724.976,"endTime":727.4860000000001,"body":"thing isn't it?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":727.731,"endTime":730.6210000000001,"body":"It is, yes."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":730.7410000000001,"endTime":733.8420000000001,"body":"I'd be concerned that it"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":730.7410000000001,"endTime":733.8420000000001,"body":"would also operate too"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":733.8420000000001,"endTime":735.3420000000001,"body":"much the other way as"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":733.8420000000001,"endTime":735.3420000000001,"body":"well, that if somebody"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":735.3420000000001,"endTime":738.322,"body":"external was to criticize,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":735.3420000000001,"endTime":738.322,"body":"then it would demotivate."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":738.322,"endTime":741.2220000000001,"body":"That is when"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":738.322,"endTime":741.2220000000001,"body":"it becomes an issue."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":741.6890000000001,"endTime":742.553,"body":"Explicit question."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":742.553,"endTime":744.2030000000001,"body":"Does it mean I have a big ego?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":744.2030000000001,"endTime":746.0630000000001,"body":"No, it doesn't mean"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":744.2030000000001,"endTime":746.0630000000001,"body":"you have a big ego."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":747.263,"endTime":749.303,"body":"I think we can"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":747.263,"endTime":749.303,"body":"be pretty direct."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":749.423,"endTime":751.523,"body":"Oh, you might have a big"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":749.423,"endTime":751.523,"body":"ego, but this doesn't"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":751.523,"endTime":752.393,"body":"mean that you do."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":752.8430000000001,"endTime":756.053,"body":"And what does a big"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":752.8430000000001,"endTime":756.053,"body":"ego mean, anyway?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":756.653,"endTime":757.553,"body":"Does it mean."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":758.2120000000001,"endTime":759.1120000000001,"body":"Confident."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":759.292,"endTime":760.8820000000001,"body":"I know who I am."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":761.0920000000001,"endTime":762.8620000000001,"body":"I feel okay"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":762.922,"endTime":766.1020000000001,"body":"in my own skin and"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":762.922,"endTime":766.1020000000001,"body":"standing my ground."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":766.4920000000001,"endTime":769.552,"body":"Well, those are good things."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":769.681,"endTime":775.0780000000001,"body":"I guess it is"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":769.681,"endTime":775.0780000000001,"body":"helpful to be inspired"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":775.0780000000001,"endTime":779.344,"body":"or motivated by praise"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":775.0780000000001,"endTime":779.344,"body":"as long as we believe it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":780.071,"endTime":782.7410000000001,"body":"Problems would occur if"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":780.071,"endTime":782.7410000000001,"body":"somebody does give us praise."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":783.844,"endTime":786.484,"body":"But it's followed up with our"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":783.844,"endTime":786.484,"body":"own inner critic of I fooled"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":786.484,"endTime":788.835,"body":"them blagged that didn't I,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":789.255,"endTime":790.2600000000001,"body":"Or they're"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":789.255,"endTime":790.2600000000001,"body":"just straight"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":790.2600000000001,"endTime":790.83,"body":"wrong."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":791.225,"endTime":792.475,"body":"Or they're just being nice."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":792.863,"endTime":793.3530000000001,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":793.644,"endTime":796.464,"body":"I mean, some people"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":793.644,"endTime":796.464,"body":"cannot take compliments."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":797.0310000000001,"endTime":797.1510000000001,"body":"Hmm."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":797.6990000000001,"endTime":799.2760000000001,"body":"That's a"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":797.6990000000001,"endTime":799.2760000000001,"body":"thing, isn't it?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":800.0110000000001,"endTime":801.451,"body":"Yeah, it is."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":801.691,"endTime":803.488,"body":"So that happened to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":801.691,"endTime":803.488,"body":"me at the weekend."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":803.6360000000001,"endTime":805.046,"body":"Somebody said, oh, you've"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":803.6360000000001,"endTime":805.046,"body":"got a, you've got a,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":805.106,"endTime":807.596,"body":"you've got the perfect"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":805.106,"endTime":807.596,"body":"voice for podcasting."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":808.556,"endTime":812.066,"body":"And I didn't know what"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":808.556,"endTime":812.066,"body":"to say hello to you"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":812.066,"endTime":812.666,"body":"if you're listening."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":813.326,"endTime":814.436,"body":"I didn't know what to say."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":814.7660000000001,"endTime":815.726,"body":"I had to acknowledge that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":815.726,"endTime":817.046,"body":"Cause we were all therapists."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":817.046,"endTime":818.456,"body":"I was able to go,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":817.046,"endTime":818.456,"body":"oh, that makes, yeah,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":818.456,"endTime":819.2660000000001,"body":"that's really strange."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":819.2660000000001,"endTime":820.976,"body":"That makes me feel really"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":819.2660000000001,"endTime":820.976,"body":"weird you saying that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":821.336,"endTime":824.066,"body":"Cause I feel that urge to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":821.336,"endTime":824.066,"body":"say, oh, this old thing, you"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":824.9060000000001,"endTime":827.231,"body":"At least didn't"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":824.9060000000001,"endTime":827.231,"body":"say you got the perfect"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":827.231,"endTime":828.5110000000001,"body":"face for podcasting."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":829.916,"endTime":832.106,"body":"you've got a great"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":829.916,"endTime":832.106,"body":"face for radio Richard."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":835.331,"endTime":838.0010000000001,"body":"I mean, we laugh at that,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":835.331,"endTime":838.0010000000001,"body":"but isn't that cruel?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":838.451,"endTime":841.1510000000001,"body":"It's, it's actually really"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":838.451,"endTime":841.1510000000001,"body":"quite judgemental and rude"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":841.1510000000001,"endTime":845.051,"body":"to, to have a comedian say,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":841.1510000000001,"endTime":845.051,"body":"oh my mother-in-law got"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":845.051,"endTime":846.6110000000001,"body":"a lovely face for radio."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":847.0310000000001,"endTime":847.851,"body":"Right, okay."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":848.3810000000001,"endTime":848.981,"body":"Move on."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":850.365,"endTime":852.975,"body":"But that was the culture"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":850.365,"endTime":852.975,"body":"we had for a long time."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":852.975,"endTime":854.865,"body":"And I think there is"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":852.975,"endTime":854.865,"body":"still a little bit of"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":854.865,"endTime":855.705,"body":"that culture around."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":855.705,"endTime":857.505,"body":"That it's okay to be"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":855.705,"endTime":857.505,"body":"rude about people and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":857.5100000000001,"endTime":859.845,"body":"criticize, cuz it's banter."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":860.475,"endTime":862.755,"body":"It's only a joke and"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":864.255,"endTime":864.745,"body":"Well,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":865.345,"endTime":866.4150000000001,"body":"not if it's malicious"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":866.4150000000001,"endTime":869.2950000000001,"body":"that's an interesting"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":866.4150000000001,"endTime":869.2950000000001,"body":"topic in of itself,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":869.3850000000001,"endTime":871.648,"body":"banter and teasing."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":872.128,"endTime":872.6980000000001,"body":"It has to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":872.6980000000001,"endTime":877.8050000000001,"body":"be, it's a two way"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":872.6980000000001,"endTime":877.8050000000001,"body":"process if banter"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":878.075,"endTime":881.4350000000001,"body":"or teasing is a"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":878.075,"endTime":881.4350000000001,"body":"one way process."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":882.095,"endTime":885.245,"body":"Well, I would just say"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":882.095,"endTime":885.245,"body":"that's, that's just wrong."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":885.995,"endTime":888.3050000000001,"body":"That gets into other labels."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":888.369,"endTime":892.476,"body":"But if, if two people"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":888.369,"endTime":892.476,"body":"are engaging in that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":892.476,"endTime":897.2460000000001,"body":"process together,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":892.476,"endTime":897.2460000000001,"body":"And both enjoying it."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":897.5680000000001,"endTime":899.671,"body":"Then that's absolutely fine."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":899.931,"endTime":902.1210000000001,"body":"About 20 years ago,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":899.931,"endTime":902.1210000000001,"body":"it must have been, cause it"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":902.1210000000001,"endTime":904.0260000000001,"body":"was before my son was born."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":904.6260000000001,"endTime":906.1890000000001,"body":"I was in the back of"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":904.6260000000001,"endTime":906.1890000000001,"body":"a car with some being"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":906.279,"endTime":906.9090000000001,"body":"going to the pub."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":907.2510000000001,"endTime":910.1310000000001,"body":"I was in the back with my then"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":907.2510000000001,"endTime":910.1310000000001,"body":"girlfriend, who's now my wife."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":910.2810000000001,"endTime":912.711,"body":"And we're being driven to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":910.2810000000001,"endTime":912.711,"body":"the pub by another couple."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":912.951,"endTime":915.351,"body":"And they were just at"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":912.951,"endTime":915.351,"body":"each other in the front."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":915.4060000000001,"endTime":917.1160000000001,"body":"He was driving, she was"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":915.4060000000001,"endTime":917.1160000000001,"body":"in the passenger seat."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":917.176,"endTime":918.75,"body":"They were just having a"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":917.176,"endTime":918.75,"body":"bit of a dig at each other."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":918.99,"endTime":920.9100000000001,"body":"Like they did, like"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":918.99,"endTime":920.9100000000001,"body":"they always did."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":920.9100000000001,"endTime":922.23,"body":"And it was fun."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":922.5600000000001,"endTime":923.58,"body":"It was banter."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":924.047,"endTime":925.817,"body":"It was just the relationship"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":924.047,"endTime":925.817,"body":"that they have and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":926.207,"endTime":927.3470000000001,"body":"probably still have now."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":928.047,"endTime":932.485,"body":"And all was fine for 20"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":928.047,"endTime":932.485,"body":"minutes of laughing and joking"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":932.485,"endTime":935.9350000000001,"body":"and banter until she went"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":932.485,"endTime":935.9350000000001,"body":"to play with his radio to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":935.9350000000001,"endTime":937.6750000000001,"body":"change a button or something."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":937.735,"endTime":939.7750000000001,"body":"And he said, get your"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":937.735,"endTime":939.7750000000001,"body":"fat fingers off that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":941.0150000000001,"endTime":941.985,"body":"Your face."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":942.445,"endTime":943.0450000000001,"body":"Yes."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":944.125,"endTime":945.2950000000001,"body":"I mean, it's just a phrase."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":945.325,"endTime":946.105,"body":"Fat fingers."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":946.2850000000001,"endTime":952.0200000000001,"body":"Means nothing, but it did"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":946.2850000000001,"endTime":952.0200000000001,"body":"to her and the, the whole"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":952.0200000000001,"endTime":955.8000000000001,"body":"dynamic changed, that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":952.0200000000001,"endTime":955.8000000000001,"body":"stopped being banter to her."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":956.5500000000001,"endTime":958.35,"body":"That meant something to her."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":959.87,"endTime":962.4200000000001,"body":"He didn't know how to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":959.87,"endTime":962.4200000000001,"body":"handle that bless him cuz"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":962.4200000000001,"endTime":963.9200000000001,"body":"he was like, I thought"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":962.4200000000001,"endTime":963.9200000000001,"body":"we were just having fun."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":964.4000000000001,"endTime":965.99,"body":"I thought it was"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":964.4000000000001,"endTime":965.99,"body":"okay to have this."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":966.69,"endTime":969.48,"body":"Oh, I hope he"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":966.69,"endTime":969.48,"body":"learned from that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":969.6,"endTime":971.0400000000001,"body":"I mean they got married"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":969.6,"endTime":971.0400000000001,"body":"and had kids, so you"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":971.0400000000001,"endTime":973.5,"body":"know, all is well in the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":971.0400000000001,"endTime":973.5,"body":"world in the end, I hope."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":973.5600000000001,"endTime":977.1,"body":"But it was the meaning behind"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":973.5600000000001,"endTime":977.1,"body":"it and to her that, that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":977.1,"endTime":980.0550000000001,"body":"triggered something and and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":977.1,"endTime":980.0550000000001,"body":"like,  Joanne and Kenny,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":980.0730000000001,"endTime":983.283,"body":"well, Kenny, particularly his"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":980.0730000000001,"endTime":983.283,"body":"comment here feeling guilty"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":983.288,"endTime":986.673,"body":"is the worst feeling in the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":983.288,"endTime":986.673,"body":"world to me, because sometimes"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":986.793,"endTime":990.6030000000001,"body":"when something happens, it, we"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":986.793,"endTime":990.6030000000001,"body":"we're triggered into something"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":990.6030000000001,"endTime":996.033,"body":"that means something and, and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":990.6030000000001,"endTime":996.033,"body":"making a mistake or feeling"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":996.033,"endTime":997.2330000000001,"body":"responsible for something."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":998.5830000000001,"endTime":1000.893,"body":"Well, that's actually"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":998.5830000000001,"endTime":1000.893,"body":"part of, part of life."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1000.9530000000001,"endTime":1004.638,"body":"We can't get things"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1000.9530000000001,"endTime":1004.638,"body":"right all the time."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1004.7280000000001,"endTime":1006.678,"body":"We are going to feel"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1004.7280000000001,"endTime":1006.678,"body":"guilty for something."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1007.278,"endTime":1011.13,"body":"Otherwise we've not"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1007.278,"endTime":1011.13,"body":"taken any risks at all."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1011.6,"endTime":1013.73,"body":"And if you think"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1011.6,"endTime":1013.73,"body":"about, I mean, whatever,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1013.88,"endTime":1017.48,"body":"any listeners feelings"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1013.88,"endTime":1017.48,"body":"are about, whether there"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1018.1700000000001,"endTime":1023.692,"body":"is, or was a creator who"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1018.1700000000001,"endTime":1023.692,"body":"designed humanity What,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1023.7520000000001,"endTime":1029.61,"body":"whatever the view guilt is an"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1023.7520000000001,"endTime":1029.61,"body":"exceptionally clever emotion,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1030.31,"endTime":1033.73,"body":"because it really does do"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1030.31,"endTime":1033.73,"body":"what it says on the tin."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1033.73,"endTime":1035.17,"body":"If it has a tin."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1035.3799999999999,"endTime":1040.243,"body":"Guilt is there to stop you"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1035.3799999999999,"endTime":1040.243,"body":"doing things that society"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1040.243,"endTime":1041.393,"body":"doesn't want you to do."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1041.515,"endTime":1045.445,"body":"Or that individuals in society"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1041.515,"endTime":1045.445,"body":"don't want you to do as well."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1045.445,"endTime":1047.455,"body":"It can be one or"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1045.445,"endTime":1047.455,"body":"the other or both."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1048.024,"endTime":1050.204,"body":"It is a horrible emotion."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1050.234,"endTime":1054.194,"body":"I mean, I, I agree with Kenny,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1050.234,"endTime":1054.194,"body":"what feels worse than that?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1054.5839999999998,"endTime":1058.0939999999998,"body":"Without guilt,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1054.5839999999998,"endTime":1058.0939999999998,"body":"you'd be a psychopath."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1058.7939999999999,"endTime":1061.924,"body":"I remember when"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1058.7939999999999,"endTime":1061.924,"body":"I sort of stole sixpence"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1061.944,"endTime":1064.5539999999999,"body":"from my mother, I didn't"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1061.944,"endTime":1064.5539999999999,"body":"quite, but sort of."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1065.0339999999999,"endTime":1065.994,"body":"When I was six."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1066.694,"endTime":1072.454,"body":"And the guilt I felt was"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1066.694,"endTime":1072.454,"body":"just horrendous to the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1072.4589999999998,"endTime":1076.8339999999998,"body":"extent that I eventually,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1072.4589999999998,"endTime":1076.8339999999998,"body":"eventually it was probably"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1076.8339999999998,"endTime":1080.194,"body":"about 48 hours, but in my"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1076.8339999999998,"endTime":1080.194,"body":"mind it was weeks, but it"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1080.614,"endTime":1081.484,"body":"almost certainly wasn't."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1081.994,"endTime":1083.0439999999999,"body":"I confessed."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1083.674,"endTime":1086.779,"body":"And of course, my"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1083.674,"endTime":1086.779,"body":"Mother was it's okay."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1087.4389999999999,"endTime":1088.6689999999999,"body":"It's don't worry."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1090.739,"endTime":1094.649,"body":"I mean, sixpence was not,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1090.739,"endTime":1094.649,"body":"I mean, was, was an ice"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1094.6689999999999,"endTime":1100.735,"body":"lolly, you know, I, I can"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1094.6689999999999,"endTime":1100.735,"body":"still, I can get a feeling"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1100.735,"endTime":1103.5549999999998,"body":"of the feeling now, when"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1100.735,"endTime":1103.5549999999998,"body":"I think back to that."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1104.2549999999999,"endTime":1105.875,"body":"And it is controlling."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1105.913,"endTime":1109.954,"body":"But without it, as you"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1105.913,"endTime":1109.954,"body":"say, Richard, if we didn't"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1109.9589999999998,"endTime":1113.764,"body":"have the potential feeling"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1109.9589999999998,"endTime":1113.764,"body":"guilty for our actions,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1114.464,"endTime":1117.644,"body":"then, well, I don't quite"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1114.464,"endTime":1117.644,"body":"know where society would be."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1118.484,"endTime":1122.3239999999998,"body":"They, there are people and"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1118.484,"endTime":1122.3239999999998,"body":"not going to get into the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1122.444,"endTime":1124.8139999999999,"body":"religious aspect of this,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1122.444,"endTime":1124.8139999999999,"body":"but there are people who"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1124.8139999999999,"endTime":1128.742,"body":"say, well without the rules"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1124.8139999999999,"endTime":1128.742,"body":"that religion puts on."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1128.742,"endTime":1131.192,"body":"People would be immoral."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1131.192,"endTime":1133.8319999999999,"body":"Well, I, I think that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1131.192,"endTime":1133.8319999999999,"body":"the feelings put that on"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1134.2169999999999,"endTime":1135.177,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1135.7469999999998,"endTime":1140.9669999999999,"body":"If somebody's only"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1135.7469999999998,"endTime":1140.9669999999999,"body":"reason for being kind to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1141.377,"endTime":1144.087,"body":"somebody and not hurting"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1141.377,"endTime":1144.087,"body":"them is because they're"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1144.087,"endTime":1145.527,"body":"scared of going to hell."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1146.037,"endTime":1148.5249999999999,"body":"Then they probably need"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1146.037,"endTime":1148.5249999999999,"body":"to look at their value"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1148.53,"endTime":1149.575,"body":"systems a bit closer."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1150.145,"endTime":1152.84,"body":"The, the I'm not"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1150.145,"endTime":1152.84,"body":"going to do that because"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1152.84,"endTime":1155.3799999999999,"body":"I would feel absolutely"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1152.84,"endTime":1155.3799999999999,"body":"ghastly if I did that."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1156.34,"endTime":1159.61,"body":"Isn't such an awful thing,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1156.34,"endTime":1159.61,"body":"but I think what Kenny's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1159.61,"endTime":1162.1299999999999,"body":"probably getting at is the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1159.61,"endTime":1162.1299999999999,"body":"holding onto the guilt."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1162.83,"endTime":1163.31,"body":"Yes."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1164.01,"endTime":1164.4299999999998,"body":"Isn't it?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1164.49,"endTime":1169.072,"body":"It's not, it's not a"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1164.49,"endTime":1169.072,"body":"momentary feeling of, guilt."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1169.1019999999999,"endTime":1171.572,"body":"Oh, I said the wrong thing."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1171.662,"endTime":1174.6319999999998,"body":"I've said, sorry, the person"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1171.662,"endTime":1174.6319999999998,"body":"has said, oh, don't worry"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1174.6319999999998,"endTime":1175.952,"body":"about it is absolutely fine."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1176.652,"endTime":1179.412,"body":"And moving on, it's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1176.652,"endTime":1179.412,"body":"the keeping it there."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1179.8619999999999,"endTime":1183.792,"body":"And he said about making"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1179.8619999999999,"endTime":1183.792,"body":"sure no one thinks I've"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1183.792,"endTime":1185.292,"body":"done something wrong."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1185.732,"endTime":1189.022,"body":"It's it's the, there's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1185.732,"endTime":1189.022,"body":"a longevity to that."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1189.022,"endTime":1189.982,"body":"It feels to me."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1190.7069999999999,"endTime":1190.827,"body":"I'd."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1190.8319999999999,"endTime":1194.067,"body":"Encourage him to explore that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1195.1019999999999,"endTime":1196.512,"body":"To see where that comes from."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1196.902,"endTime":1198.702,"body":"See what's familiar"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1196.902,"endTime":1198.702,"body":"about that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1198.732,"endTime":1200.442,"body":"Whether that goes back"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1198.732,"endTime":1200.442,"body":"to something as simple"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1200.442,"endTime":1201.702,"body":"as a sixpence when he was"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1201.8619999999999,"endTime":1202.792,"body":"my sixpence"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1202.8519999999999,"endTime":1203.022,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1203.932,"endTime":1206.3919999999998,"body":"We often find that we"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1203.932,"endTime":1206.3919999999998,"body":"hold onto things for a lot"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1206.397,"endTime":1207.802,"body":"longer than other people do."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1208.252,"endTime":1210.772,"body":"We're a lot more critical"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1208.252,"endTime":1210.772,"body":"and judgemental of ourselves"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1210.8319999999999,"endTime":1212.032,"body":"than other people are."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1212.732,"endTime":1220.1799999999998,"body":"I remember again, 20 years"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1212.732,"endTime":1220.1799999999998,"body":"ago easily,  I got drunk"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1220.1799999999998,"endTime":1221.6499999999999,"body":"at a Christmas work party."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1221.6799999999998,"endTime":1224.2,"body":"This was before I was"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1221.6799999999998,"endTime":1224.2,"body":"a therapist or had a no"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1224.2,"endTime":1225.01,"body":"I'd done my training."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1225.04,"endTime":1227.2,"body":"Had I qualified, I might"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1225.04,"endTime":1227.2,"body":"have been in the middle of"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1227.2,"endTime":1231.1299999999999,"body":"training and I got drunk"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1227.2,"endTime":1231.1299999999999,"body":"at a Christmas party."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1231.1799999999998,"endTime":1233.1899999999998,"body":"I was working for a civil"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1231.1799999999998,"endTime":1233.1899999999998,"body":"engineering firm that dug up"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1233.1899999999998,"endTime":1234.4199999999998,"body":"the road to the national grid."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1235.1399999999999,"endTime":1237.99,"body":"And I got, there was"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1235.1399999999999,"endTime":1237.99,"body":"free wine on the table"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1238.02,"endTime":1238.86,"body":"that nobody was drinking."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1238.86,"endTime":1240.6899999999998,"body":"So I was drinking it and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1238.86,"endTime":1240.6899999999998,"body":"got into a right state."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1241.02,"endTime":1243.6599999999999,"body":"And I was wagging my finger"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1241.02,"endTime":1243.6599999999999,"body":"at all sorts of people."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1243.81,"endTime":1246.72,"body":"And you I'll tell"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1243.81,"endTime":1246.72,"body":"you about you."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1247.4199999999998,"endTime":1248.08,"body":"It was terrible."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1248.08,"endTime":1249.1299999999999,"body":"It wasn't me at all."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1249.1299999999999,"endTime":1250.81,"body":"I dunno where it came from."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1251.2,"endTime":1254.3799999999999,"body":"And Dawn just took me to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1251.2,"endTime":1254.3799999999999,"body":"bed and went, come on."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1254.47,"endTime":1255.52,"body":"This is getting silly now."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1255.5249999999999,"endTime":1255.955,"body":"And off we went."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1256.61,"endTime":1259.04,"body":"the, this was to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1256.61,"endTime":1259.04,"body":"close friends, this,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1259.04,"endTime":1260.33,"body":"this abuse really."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1260.99,"endTime":1266.9299999999998,"body":"And fast forward about for 15"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1260.99,"endTime":1266.9299999999998,"body":"years, probably 10, 15 years."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1267.4099999999999,"endTime":1269.96,"body":"I go around somebody's house"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1267.4099999999999,"endTime":1269.96,"body":"for a dinner party, those same"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1269.96,"endTime":1272.4199999999998,"body":"groups of people that I'd see"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1269.96,"endTime":1272.4199999999998,"body":"regularly, you know, we'd see"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1272.425,"endTime":1273.5,"body":"them every couple of months."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1273.95,"endTime":1275.99,"body":"And somebody had a bit"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1273.95,"endTime":1275.99,"body":"of a dinner party around"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1275.99,"endTime":1278.72,"body":"the house and I went"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1275.99,"endTime":1278.72,"body":"around and I was driving."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1279.655,"endTime":1281.185,"body":"But somebody said, oh,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1279.655,"endTime":1281.185,"body":"drink glass of wine."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1281.5449999999998,"endTime":1283.495,"body":"And I went, oh, you know,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1281.5449999999998,"endTime":1283.495,"body":"me and wine best not,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1283.495,"endTime":1284.5449999999998,"body":"but anyway, I'm driving."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1285.245,"endTime":1287.915,"body":"And they said, oh no, what do"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1285.245,"endTime":1287.915,"body":"you mean about you and wine?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1287.945,"endTime":1289.475,"body":"What's the problem"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1287.945,"endTime":1289.475,"body":"with you and wine you"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1289.475,"endTime":1290.405,"body":"allergic or something?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1290.465,"endTime":1291.695,"body":"I went, I'm just joking."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1291.695,"endTime":1293.2849999999999,"body":"You know, remember that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1291.695,"endTime":1293.2849999999999,"body":"time that Christmas."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1294.125,"endTime":1295.325,"body":"And everybody was"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1294.125,"endTime":1295.325,"body":"scratching their heads"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1295.325,"endTime":1296.855,"body":"going, when, when was that?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1297.155,"endTime":1299.375,"body":"I went, oh, surely"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1297.155,"endTime":1299.375,"body":"you remember that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1299.905,"endTime":1302.885,"body":"I, I was really drunk and was"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1299.905,"endTime":1302.885,"body":"really angry at everybody."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1303.945,"endTime":1304.425,"body":"No mate."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1304.4299999999998,"endTime":1305.205,"body":"Don't remember that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1305.595,"endTime":1307.095,"body":"And they started talking"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1305.595,"endTime":1307.095,"body":"about different Christmas"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1307.095,"endTime":1308.115,"body":"parties we'd had."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1308.115,"endTime":1309.345,"body":"And was it that one?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1309.585,"endTime":1310.5149999999999,"body":"No, not that one."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1310.5149999999999,"endTime":1312.195,"body":"It was, that was the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1310.5149999999999,"endTime":1312.195,"body":"year before the year,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1312.225,"endTime":1313.185,"body":"the year after that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1313.277,"endTime":1315.357,"body":"I don't really"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1313.277,"endTime":1315.357,"body":"remember rich what?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1316.2169999999999,"endTime":1316.7569999999998,"body":"That's not fair."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1317.417,"endTime":1319.427,"body":"I've been holding this for"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1317.417,"endTime":1319.427,"body":"15 years, feeling embarrassed"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1319.427,"endTime":1322.337,"body":"every time I've seen you"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1319.427,"endTime":1322.337,"body":"every month for 15 years"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1322.4869999999999,"endTime":1324.692,"body":"and you didn't even have"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1322.4869999999999,"endTime":1324.692,"body":"the courtesy to remember it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1324.692,"endTime":1326.072,"body":"God damn you."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1326.982,"endTime":1330.947,"body":"And I'd held onto that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1326.982,"endTime":1330.947,"body":"totally unnecessarily."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1331.647,"endTime":1337.077,"body":"But in exploring it, just in"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1331.647,"endTime":1337.077,"body":"that moment, it had gone the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1337.077,"endTime":1339.177,"body":"the weight immediately gone."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1339.837,"endTime":1341.367,"body":"Never had to think"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1339.837,"endTime":1341.367,"body":"about it again."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1342.297,"endTime":1344.2469999999998,"body":"Just because I put it back"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1342.297,"endTime":1344.2469999999998,"body":"out there and everybody"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1344.2469999999998,"endTime":1346.697,"body":"went doesn't matter we"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1344.2469999999998,"endTime":1346.697,"body":"were young and stupid."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1346.702,"endTime":1347.777,"body":"We probably all did"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1346.702,"endTime":1347.777,"body":"things like that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1347.777,"endTime":1348.2569999999998,"body":"I didn't we?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1348.827,"endTime":1349.697,"body":"I went, oh actually,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1349.697,"endTime":1350.297,"body":"yeah probably."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1350.7469999999998,"endTime":1352.907,"body":"Yeah, because we all"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1350.7469999999998,"endTime":1352.907,"body":"do things like that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1353.607,"endTime":1355.197,"body":"No matter what somebody"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1353.607,"endTime":1355.197,"body":"feels guilty of."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1355.197,"endTime":1356.5169999999998,"body":"I think we can fair."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1356.522,"endTime":1357.567,"body":"It's fair to say."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1358.107,"endTime":1359.067,"body":"We've all been there."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1359.877,"endTime":1361.4669999999999,"body":"It's nothing to worry about."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1362.0069999999998,"endTime":1363.177,"body":"I think that's fair to say."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1363.877,"endTime":1364.147,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1364.147,"endTime":1366.667,"body":"I mean, as long as we're"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1364.147,"endTime":1366.667,"body":"not talking about extremes"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1366.667,"endTime":1370.2269999999999,"body":"again, but it it's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1366.667,"endTime":1370.2269999999999,"body":"it's that the, the word"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1370.2269999999999,"endTime":1373.137,"body":"responsibility was in there"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1370.2269999999999,"endTime":1373.137,"body":"wasn't it in Kenny's thing?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1373.368,"endTime":1374.107,"body":"I know what it was."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1374.138,"endTime":1376.936,"body":"it was something I was looking"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1374.138,"endTime":1376.936,"body":"at earlier, a student piece"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1376.936,"endTime":1380.33,"body":"of work which was discussing"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1376.936,"endTime":1380.33,"body":"taking responsibility almost"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1380.335,"endTime":1383.6899999999998,"body":"as though that was the wrong"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1380.335,"endTime":1383.6899999999998,"body":"thing to do because the,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1383.72,"endTime":1386.1799999999998,"body":"the person in question was"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1383.72,"endTime":1386.1799999999998,"body":"taking responsibility for"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1386.1799999999998,"endTime":1389.627,"body":"things that they didn't need"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1386.1799999999998,"endTime":1389.627,"body":"to take responsibility for."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1389.927,"endTime":1391.427,"body":"But again, it's a balance."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1391.838,"endTime":1394.028,"body":"We do need to take"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1391.838,"endTime":1394.028,"body":"responsibility for things"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1394.028,"endTime":1399.908,"body":"that we've done and said,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1394.028,"endTime":1399.908,"body":"or not done, or not said."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1400.608,"endTime":1403.081,"body":"And say, sorry,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1400.608,"endTime":1403.081,"body":"where appropriate."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1403.201,"endTime":1406.061,"body":"That's a good"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1403.201,"endTime":1406.061,"body":"thing, I would say."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1406.168,"endTime":1411.318,"body":"But not taking responsibility"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1406.168,"endTime":1411.318,"body":"for things that are not"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1411.408,"endTime":1414.971,"body":"within our own control,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1411.408,"endTime":1414.971,"body":"which brings me to the other"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1414.971,"endTime":1416.741,"body":"thing, the other locus of."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1417.441,"endTime":1419.3609999999999,"body":"Cuz we've got locus of"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1417.441,"endTime":1419.3609999999999,"body":"evaluation, which we"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1419.3609999999999,"endTime":1421.8809999999999,"body":"mentioned, but there's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1419.3609999999999,"endTime":1421.8809999999999,"body":"also locus of control"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1422.581,"endTime":1423.001,"body":"mm"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1423.181,"endTime":1425.521,"body":"Which is a theory"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1423.181,"endTime":1425.521,"body":"from Julian Rotter."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1425.521,"endTime":1426.721,"body":"I love that surname."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1426.721,"endTime":1428.671,"body":"I mean, who wouldn't want"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1426.721,"endTime":1428.671,"body":"to be called a Rotter?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1428.761,"endTime":1429.691,"body":"I mean, it's great."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1429.691,"endTime":1429.971,"body":"Isn't it?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1430.021,"endTime":1432.751,"body":"And this is about where"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1430.021,"endTime":1432.751,"body":"you perceive the control"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1432.7559999999999,"endTime":1433.8909999999998,"body":"of behavior to be."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1434.3709999999999,"endTime":1439.935,"body":"And the two do overlap"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1434.3709999999999,"endTime":1439.935,"body":"somewhat because, well,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1440.5049999999999,"endTime":1443.745,"body":"if you are evaluating"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1440.5049999999999,"endTime":1443.745,"body":"where you evaluate things,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1443.745,"endTime":1445.8149999999998,"body":"both are very helpful."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1446.436,"endTime":1449.316,"body":"People with a high internal"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1446.436,"endTime":1449.316,"body":"locus of control perceive"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1449.316,"endTime":1452.076,"body":"themselves as having a great"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1449.316,"endTime":1452.076,"body":"deal of personal control"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1452.076,"endTime":1454.5359999999998,"body":"over their behavior and"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1452.076,"endTime":1454.5359999999998,"body":"are therefore more likely"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1454.5359999999998,"endTime":1457.0359999999998,"body":"to take responsibility"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1454.5359999999998,"endTime":1457.0359999999998,"body":"for the way they behave."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1457.5259999999998,"endTime":1459.956,"body":"For example, I did well"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1457.5259999999998,"endTime":1459.956,"body":"on the exams because I"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1459.956,"endTime":1461.7259999999999,"body":"revised extremely hard."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1462.5059999999999,"endTime":1466.046,"body":"In contrast a person with a"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1462.5059999999999,"endTime":1466.046,"body":"high external locus of control"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1466.406,"endTime":1469.076,"body":"perceived their behaviors"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1466.406,"endTime":1469.076,"body":"as being as a result of"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1469.136,"endTime":1471.4759999999999,"body":"external influences or luck."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1472.046,"endTime":1474.5359999999998,"body":"I did well on the test"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1472.046,"endTime":1474.5359999999998,"body":"because it was easy."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1475.2359999999999,"endTime":1479.8809999999999,"body":"And this does tie in"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1475.2359999999999,"endTime":1479.8809999999999,"body":"with, with what Joanne"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1479.8809999999999,"endTime":1482.581,"body":"and Kenny are saying."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1482.701,"endTime":1487.433,"body":"In that, I'd like to be asking"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1482.701,"endTime":1487.433,"body":"Joanne specifically what she,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1487.943,"endTime":1492.623,"body":"what she feels about her own"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1487.943,"endTime":1492.623,"body":"intellect and career, and"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1492.623,"endTime":1496.297,"body":"also to Kenny about  where"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1492.623,"endTime":1496.297,"body":"the responsibility is for the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1496.327,"endTime":1497.4669999999999,"body":"things that he's done wrong."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1497.4669999999999,"endTime":1499.912,"body":"Cause you know, if it's in"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1497.4669999999999,"endTime":1499.912,"body":"a work context, people are"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1499.912,"endTime":1501.022,"body":"always gonna do things wrong."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1501.027,"endTime":1503.293,"body":"It's it's, it's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1501.027,"endTime":1503.293,"body":"inevitable, isn't it?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1503.31,"endTime":1506.37,"body":"But it's about that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1503.31,"endTime":1506.37,"body":"taking responsibility."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1506.72,"endTime":1509.422,"body":"It's generally"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1506.72,"endTime":1509.422,"body":"accepted that having an"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1509.422,"endTime":1514.252,"body":"external locus of control"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1509.422,"endTime":1514.252,"body":"is not a good idea, feeling"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1514.252,"endTime":1518.2759999999998,"body":"that other people control"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1514.252,"endTime":1518.2759999999998,"body":"you or that you have little"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1518.281,"endTime":1522.5939999999998,"body":"influence over your life"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1518.281,"endTime":1522.5939999999998,"body":"because, well, there's no"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1522.754,"endTime":1526.647,"body":"point in voting for change,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1522.754,"endTime":1526.647,"body":"my vote won't count, you"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1526.647,"endTime":1527.7569999999998,"body":"know, those sorts of things."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1527.937,"endTime":1531.157,"body":"That's not good, especially"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1527.937,"endTime":1531.157,"body":"at the minute, but it holds"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1531.162,"endTime":1534.2759999999998,"body":"us back, like you say, from"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1531.162,"endTime":1534.2759999999998,"body":"recognizing our skills, our"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1534.2759999999998,"endTime":1537.936,"body":"abilities, if we do well,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1534.2759999999998,"endTime":1537.936,"body":"because we think, well, the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1537.936,"endTime":1540.456,"body":"test must have been easier"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1537.936,"endTime":1540.456,"body":"or it was just lucky or I"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1540.456,"endTime":1542.706,"body":"must have just guessed on"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1540.456,"endTime":1542.706,"body":"that multiple choice thing."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1543.216,"endTime":1544.206,"body":"That was, that was luck."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1544.4759999999999,"endTime":1547.2359999999999,"body":"We're less likely to take"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1544.4759999999999,"endTime":1547.2359999999999,"body":"another one and progress."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1547.416,"endTime":1549.936,"body":"We're less likely to apply"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1547.416,"endTime":1549.936,"body":"for a job that we want because"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1549.941,"endTime":1551.856,"body":"well, they probably already"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1549.941,"endTime":1551.856,"body":"made the decision who's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1551.856,"endTime":1552.9959999999999,"body":"gonna get the job, anyway."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1553.806,"endTime":1558.796,"body":"It wouldn't be me cuz other"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1553.806,"endTime":1558.796,"body":"people make those decisions."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1559.57,"endTime":1562.1799999999998,"body":"But with a slightly more"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1559.57,"endTime":1562.1799999999998,"body":"internal locus of control,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1562.483,"endTime":1566.0629999999999,"body":"we can see that it is worth"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1562.483,"endTime":1566.0629999999999,"body":"applying for that job,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1566.3629999999998,"endTime":1567.413,"body":"going for that interview."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1567.983,"endTime":1570.683,"body":"Even if there is a possibility"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1567.983,"endTime":1570.683,"body":"of nepotism and that they"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1570.683,"endTime":1572.6029999999998,"body":"have already decided that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1570.683,"endTime":1572.6029999999998,"body":"their nephew is gonna get"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1572.6029999999998,"endTime":1576.5729999999999,"body":"the job, you still have some"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1572.6029999999998,"endTime":1576.5729999999999,"body":"influence over your life."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1576.783,"endTime":1581.309,"body":"And it is worth putting the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1576.783,"endTime":1581.309,"body":"effort into doing something."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1581.749,"endTime":1583.983,"body":"In terms of the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1581.749,"endTime":1583.983,"body":"job interviews one yes,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1583.983,"endTime":1586.443,"body":"it could be the nepotism"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1583.983,"endTime":1586.443,"body":"thing, but it could just"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1586.443,"endTime":1590.433,"body":"be that they want somebody"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1586.443,"endTime":1590.433,"body":"who's got more of this"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1590.4379999999999,"endTime":1592.953,"body":"bit of the experience than"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1590.4379999999999,"endTime":1592.953,"body":"that bit of the experience"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1592.953,"endTime":1594.003,"body":"they could be wrong."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1594.196,"endTime":1597.926,"body":"They could have made an"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1594.196,"endTime":1597.926,"body":"invalid decision that they"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1597.926,"endTime":1600.086,"body":"would actually be better"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1597.926,"endTime":1600.086,"body":"off to have your skills,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1600.566,"endTime":1602.336,"body":"but you can't influence,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1603.086,"endTime":1607.52,"body":"very much, what's going"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1603.086,"endTime":1607.52,"body":"on I've I do find that cuz"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1607.52,"endTime":1612.232,"body":"I've worked with many people"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1607.52,"endTime":1612.232,"body":"with interview issues."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1612.288,"endTime":1613.6299999999999,"body":"And it's fascinating."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1613.6299999999999,"endTime":1618.82,"body":"You have to go into any job"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1613.6299999999999,"endTime":1618.82,"body":"interview knowing that you are"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1618.825,"endTime":1620.53,"body":"only in control of part of it"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1621.03,"endTime":1623.1699999999998,"body":"Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1621.03,"endTime":1623.1699999999998,"body":"and that's okay."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1623.8899999999999,"endTime":1626.29,"body":"But you are in control"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1623.8899999999999,"endTime":1626.29,"body":"of, of part of it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1627.34,"endTime":1629.74,"body":"To think that you don't"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1627.34,"endTime":1629.74,"body":"have any control at all"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1630.4399999999998,"endTime":1632.32,"body":"is not gonna help you."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1632.6499999999999,"endTime":1635.32,"body":"And similarly, if you,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1632.6499999999999,"endTime":1635.32,"body":"if your locus of control"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1635.32,"endTime":1639.34,"body":"is too internal, that's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1635.32,"endTime":1639.34,"body":"when everything's your"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1639.34,"endTime":1641.83,"body":"fault, when something"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1639.34,"endTime":1641.83,"body":"goes wrong somewhere."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1641.83,"endTime":1643.0,"body":"Oh, what have I done now?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1643.24,"endTime":1644.4099999999999,"body":"And this wasn't about you."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1644.71,"endTime":1647.8,"body":"This was just about the, you"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1644.71,"endTime":1647.8,"body":"know, the word document froze."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1648.31,"endTime":1651.55,"body":"And when you clicked save it"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1648.31,"endTime":1651.55,"body":"overrode the original document"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1651.5549999999998,"endTime":1653.86,"body":"with a garbled version"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1651.5549999999998,"endTime":1653.86,"body":"and the whole lot's gone."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1654.25,"endTime":1655.78,"body":"Oh, that's my fault"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1654.25,"endTime":1655.78,"body":"for clicking save."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1656.48,"endTime":1659.3899999999999,"body":"No, it just, it is what it is."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1659.6599999999999,"endTime":1660.11,"body":"Oh, that's it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1660.11,"endTime":1661.45,"body":"But yeah, but I"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1660.11,"endTime":1661.45,"body":"wouldn't have done that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1662.1399999999999,"endTime":1665.6299999999999,"body":"That no, that's not"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1662.1399999999999,"endTime":1665.6299999999999,"body":"how it works, but we've"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1665.6299999999999,"endTime":1668.24,"body":"all met people who, who"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1665.6299999999999,"endTime":1668.24,"body":"feel that responsible."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1668.46,"endTime":1671.54,"body":"And going back to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1668.46,"endTime":1671.54,"body":"the interview scenario."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1671.54,"endTime":1674.24,"body":"I, I heard of somebody who"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1671.54,"endTime":1674.24,"body":"had a job interview a couple"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1674.24,"endTime":1677.653,"body":"of weeks ago and was very"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1674.24,"endTime":1677.653,"body":"prepared, but got completely"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1677.653,"endTime":1680.5629999999999,"body":"thrown off track by the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1677.653,"endTime":1680.5629999999999,"body":"first question, which was"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1680.5629999999999,"endTime":1683.8129999999999,"body":"something that I cannot"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1680.5629999999999,"endTime":1683.8129999999999,"body":"remember exactly what it was."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1683.818,"endTime":1685.443,"body":"And I probably shouldn't"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1683.818,"endTime":1685.443,"body":"say it even if I could."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1685.471,"endTime":1688.3319999999999,"body":"But it was completely out"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1685.471,"endTime":1688.3319999999999,"body":"of left field and they, they"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1688.337,"endTime":1689.652,"body":"would not have expected it."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1689.8919999999998,"endTime":1691.812,"body":"So they had to go into"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1689.8919999999998,"endTime":1691.812,"body":"a different part of"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1691.812,"endTime":1693.792,"body":"their mind to answer it."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1694.512,"endTime":1698.319,"body":"So all the preparation was"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1694.512,"endTime":1698.319,"body":"outta the window right then."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1698.989,"endTime":1699.369,"body":"Hmm."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1699.369,"endTime":1703.494,"body":"But in the end, I, I"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1699.369,"endTime":1703.494,"body":"sort of say, well done you"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1703.494,"endTime":1708.653,"body":"interviewer because they got"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1703.494,"endTime":1708.653,"body":"through the preparation, the,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1708.8629999999998,"endTime":1712.3129999999999,"body":"the persona that we've talked"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1708.8629999999998,"endTime":1712.3129999999999,"body":"about before and got through"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1712.3129999999999,"endTime":1714.893,"body":"to the real person, cuz it's a"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1712.3129999999999,"endTime":1714.893,"body":"real person who had to answer."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1715.5929999999998,"endTime":1717.403,"body":"I was quite"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1715.5929999999998,"endTime":1717.403,"body":"pleased with myself once"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1718.1029999999998,"endTime":1718.913,"body":"She got the job, by"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1718.953,"endTime":1719.443,"body":"when."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1720.293,"endTime":1722.3629999999998,"body":"Oh, woo . That's wonderful."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1723.793,"endTime":1727.874,"body":"I was quite pleased with"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1723.793,"endTime":1727.874,"body":"myself once when I got an"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1727.874,"endTime":1730.244,"body":"email from a radio station"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1727.874,"endTime":1730.244,"body":"to say, would I like to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1730.311,"endTime":1732.6409999999998,"body":"have this conversation"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1730.311,"endTime":1732.6409999999998,"body":"about uh, spider phobia?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1732.6409999999998,"endTime":1734.541,"body":"I said, oh yeah, I'll come on."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1734.571,"endTime":1737.1109999999999,"body":"It was probably around this"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1734.571,"endTime":1737.1109999999999,"body":"time of year, 10 years ago."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1737.1109999999999,"endTime":1737.711,"body":"Something like that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1737.721,"endTime":1739.548,"body":"would I come on and talk"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1737.721,"endTime":1739.548,"body":"about arachnophobia?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1739.798,"endTime":1740.068,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1740.0729999999999,"endTime":1740.1979999999999,"body":"Okay."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1740.858,"endTime":1743.4879999999998,"body":"And I went on there and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1740.858,"endTime":1743.4879999999998,"body":"I'm sitting on I'm on hold"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1743.4879999999998,"endTime":1745.9969999999998,"body":"while the presenter is"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1743.4879999999998,"endTime":1745.9969999999998,"body":"just come outta the news or"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1745.9969999999998,"endTime":1747.107,"body":"whatever it was and said."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1747.587,"endTime":1750.203,"body":"So in a few moments"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1747.587,"endTime":1750.203,"body":"time, we've got Richard"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1750.203,"endTime":1751.793,"body":"Nicholls joining us."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1751.793,"endTime":1753.893,"body":"He's a spider expert."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1754.133,"endTime":1756.293,"body":"He's come to tell us"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1754.133,"endTime":1756.293,"body":"all about spiders."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1756.3229999999999,"endTime":1758.543,"body":"He'll be with you in just"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1756.3229999999999,"endTime":1758.543,"body":"two minutes after this break."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1759.243,"endTime":1760.143,"body":"And I'm like, what?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1760.8429999999998,"endTime":1762.643,"body":"I'm not, I'm not"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1760.8429999999998,"endTime":1762.643,"body":"a spider expert."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1762.643,"endTime":1764.5929999999998,"body":"I'm, I'm not really an"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1762.643,"endTime":1764.5929999999998,"body":"expert on anything, but"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1764.5929999999998,"endTime":1767.8629999999998,"body":"I mean, if anything, I'm"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1764.5929999999998,"endTime":1767.8629999999998,"body":"closer to a person expert"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1767.8629999999998,"endTime":1769.213,"body":"people expert than a spider."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1769.3329999999999,"endTime":1770.233,"body":"I'm starting to Google."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1770.683,"endTime":1772.3629999999998,"body":"I'm Googling spider facts."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1772.633,"endTime":1772.963,"body":"Okay."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1773.0839999999998,"endTime":1774.194,"body":"Spider, spider spiders."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1774.404,"endTime":1774.5539999999999,"body":"Oh."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1774.5539999999999,"endTime":1776.204,"body":"They come inside"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1774.5539999999999,"endTime":1776.204,"body":"to mate that'll do."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1776.2939999999999,"endTime":1777.224,"body":"That's all I needed to know."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1777.5839999999998,"endTime":1779.614,"body":"That's my one little bit"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1777.5839999999998,"endTime":1779.614,"body":"of spider fact, they come"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1779.614,"endTime":1782.339,"body":"into the house when it's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1779.614,"endTime":1782.339,"body":"cold, outside and wet so"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1782.339,"endTime":1783.989,"body":"they can mate, they're"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1782.339,"endTime":1783.989,"body":"just looking for love."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1784.019,"endTime":1784.6789999999999,"body":"Okay, that's fine."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1785.369,"endTime":1787.1989999999998,"body":"And then I can weave it"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1785.369,"endTime":1787.1989999999998,"body":"into arachnophobia and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1787.1989999999998,"endTime":1790.806,"body":"get back on topic, but"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1787.1989999999998,"endTime":1790.806,"body":"how easy would it be when"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1790.806,"endTime":1791.796,"body":"the mic went live to go."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1792.0359999999998,"endTime":1793.206,"body":"Can I just stop you?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1794.076,"endTime":1796.116,"body":"I think you're expecting"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1794.076,"endTime":1796.116,"body":"something that I can't do."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1796.816,"endTime":1800.2359999999999,"body":"And then put the blame onto"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1796.816,"endTime":1800.2359999999999,"body":"them for making the mistake."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1800.2359999999999,"endTime":1802.86,"body":"And if anything goes wrong in"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1800.2359999999999,"endTime":1802.86,"body":"this interview, then that's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1802.86,"endTime":1804.6899999999998,"body":"your own fault because,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1802.86,"endTime":1804.6899999999998,"body":"you know, you've, you've,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1804.6899999999998,"endTime":1805.8,"body":"you've made a mistake here."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1806.5,"endTime":1810.6399999999999,"body":"And I, I felt the need to do"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1806.5,"endTime":1810.6399999999999,"body":"that, to try and defend myself"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1810.6699999999998,"endTime":1812.26,"body":"in case things went wrong."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1812.32,"endTime":1813.1,"body":"So it's not my fault."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1813.61,"endTime":1814.33,"body":"It's not my fault."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1814.54,"endTime":1816.55,"body":"And I've been to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1814.54,"endTime":1816.55,"body":"conferences over the last"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1816.55,"endTime":1819.3999999999999,"body":"20 years where that sort"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1816.55,"endTime":1819.3999999999999,"body":"of thing has happened."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1820.24,"endTime":1825.07,"body":"Somebody's got an excuse"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1820.24,"endTime":1825.07,"body":"already before they have even"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1825.07,"endTime":1827.56,"body":"started their presentation"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1825.07,"endTime":1827.56,"body":"about why it might go wrong"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1827.71,"endTime":1828.76,"body":"in a few minutes time."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1828.9099999999999,"endTime":1830.56,"body":"I haven't had much sleep"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1828.9099999999999,"endTime":1830.56,"body":"last night, by the way."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1830.56,"endTime":1832.8999999999999,"body":"So I apologies if this, this"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1830.56,"endTime":1832.8999999999999,"body":"doesn't come out right now,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1832.8999999999999,"endTime":1837.385,"body":"those sorts of phrases, I'm"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1832.8999999999999,"endTime":1837.385,"body":"like, no, It's okay if it"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1837.655,"endTime":1840.625,"body":"doesn't go right, it's fine."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1840.865,"endTime":1844.885,"body":"You don't need to try and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1840.865,"endTime":1844.885,"body":"blame the road  works outside"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1844.885,"endTime":1848.455,"body":"for your lack of sleep, to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1844.885,"endTime":1848.455,"body":"explain why you are nervous,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1848.46,"endTime":1849.955,"body":"just be nervous and feel it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1849.96,"endTime":1851.2749999999999,"body":"Feel what you feel."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1851.5149999999999,"endTime":1852.5649999999998,"body":"You're human."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1852.57,"endTime":1854.095,"body":"It's fine."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1854.725,"endTime":1858.0249999999999,"body":"But we don't do we, we so"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1854.725,"endTime":1858.0249999999999,"body":"desperately try to defend"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1858.0249999999999,"endTime":1859.475,"body":"ourselves and pass the buck."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1860.62,"endTime":1862.48,"body":"The first ever"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1860.62,"endTime":1862.48,"body":"conference presentation."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1862.48,"endTime":1862.9299999999998,"body":"I did."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1862.96,"endTime":1864.82,"body":"Somebody came up to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1862.96,"endTime":1864.82,"body":"me afterwards and said"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1864.82,"endTime":1866.62,"body":"that I ought to have"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1864.82,"endTime":1866.62,"body":"some hypnotherapy to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1866.62,"endTime":1867.73,"body":"deal with my nerves."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1868.45,"endTime":1870.4399999999998,"body":"And I said no, sorry"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1868.45,"endTime":1870.4399999999998,"body":"that was my first"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1870.4399999999998,"endTime":1871.61,"body":"conference presentation."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1871.9099999999999,"endTime":1875.6299999999999,"body":"And I think it was the right"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1871.9099999999999,"endTime":1875.6299999999999,"body":"thing to be, to be nervous."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1875.78,"endTime":1876.26,"body":"Thank you."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1878.085,"endTime":1878.985,"body":"Now get out."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1880.455,"endTime":1881.925,"body":"All right, is that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1880.455,"endTime":1881.925,"body":"somebody I know."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1882.1299999999999,"endTime":1882.85,"body":"Probably not, no."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1883.243,"endTime":1883.723,"body":"Okay."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1883.8029999999999,"endTime":1885.5729999999999,"body":"Well, I suppose if it"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1883.8029999999999,"endTime":1885.5729999999999,"body":"was your first conference"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1885.5729999999999,"endTime":1887.283,"body":"presentation, that would've"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1885.5729999999999,"endTime":1887.283,"body":"been a while ago, wouldn't it?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1887.283,"endTime":1887.5529999999999,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1888.3629999999998,"endTime":1888.8129999999999,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1889.513,"endTime":1891.0729999999999,"body":"Well, we've had a"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1889.513,"endTime":1891.0729999999999,"body":"lovely natter today."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1891.0729999999999,"endTime":1893.503,"body":"Fiona that's that's really"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1891.0729999999999,"endTime":1893.503,"body":"put the world to right"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1893.523,"endTime":1894.533,"body":"well, I hope so."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1895.233,"endTime":1897.8429999999998,"body":"Mm, and I hope"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1895.233,"endTime":1897.8429999999998,"body":"everybody can take a little"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1897.8429999999998,"endTime":1901.183,"body":"bit of something away from"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1897.8429999999998,"endTime":1901.183,"body":"this episode and the, and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1901.1879999999999,"endTime":1903.753,"body":"this series, you know,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1901.1879999999999,"endTime":1903.753,"body":"there's always a little bit"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1903.753,"endTime":1906.0929999999998,"body":"of something inside each"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1903.753,"endTime":1906.0929999999998,"body":"episode I think for everybody,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1906.0929999999998,"endTime":1907.203,"body":"if we matter enough."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1908.298,"endTime":1911.6879999999999,"body":"So we'll be back next week and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1908.298,"endTime":1911.6879999999999,"body":"we'll do it all over again."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1911.808,"endTime":1914.118,"body":"And if you have a topic"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1911.808,"endTime":1914.118,"body":"that you'd like us to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1914.118,"endTime":1917.268,"body":"talk about, link is in the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1914.118,"endTime":1917.268,"body":"show notes to a form on"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1917.268,"endTime":1920.4479999999999,"body":"my website where you can"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1917.268,"endTime":1920.4479999999999,"body":"submit whatever information"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1920.4479999999999,"endTime":1921.408,"body":"you've got in your head."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1921.413,"endTime":1922.3429999999998,"body":"Send it to us."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1922.433,"endTime":1924.5829999999999,"body":"And we'll talk about it"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1922.433,"endTime":1924.5829999999999,"body":"to a degree, you know."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1924.973,"endTime":1927.043,"body":"We're not gonna talk about"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1924.973,"endTime":1927.043,"body":"religion or politics, not"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1927.043,"endTime":1929.773,"body":"too much anyway, cuz that,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1927.043,"endTime":1929.773,"body":"that's not really our"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1929.773,"endTime":1929.9669999999999,"body":"bag."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1929.9779999999998,"endTime":1931.298,"body":"Just go to the edge,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1931.567,"endTime":1931.9569999999999,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1932.827,"endTime":1935.647,"body":"We we'll just live on the edge"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1932.827,"endTime":1935.647,"body":"of that cuz that's part of"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1935.647,"endTime":1939.9969999999998,"body":"culture, but yeah, if you need"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1935.647,"endTime":1939.9969999999998,"body":"us, you know where to find us,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1940.027,"endTime":1941.2269999999999,"body":"have a nice week, everybody."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1942.167,"endTime":1942.587,"body":"Bye."}]}