{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":39.480000000000004,"endTime":42.06,"body":"Hi there, everybody,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":39.480000000000004,"endTime":42.06,"body":"another week, another chance"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":42.06,"endTime":44.88,"body":"to natter about something"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":42.06,"endTime":44.88,"body":"with my supervisor, Fiona,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":45.09,"endTime":47.760000000000005,"body":"that we wouldn't normally make"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":45.09,"endTime":47.760000000000005,"body":"this time to natter about."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":47.760000000000005,"endTime":50.31,"body":"So thanks for listening"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":47.760000000000005,"endTime":50.31,"body":"everybody and giving me"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":50.31,"endTime":51.72,"body":"the chance to do 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and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":185.982,"endTime":188.53199999999998,"body":"possibly it's just gone"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":185.982,"endTime":188.53199999999998,"body":"to find a new home with"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":188.537,"endTime":189.672,"body":"its little rat friends."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":189.862,"endTime":193.388,"body":"Or, or maybe sadly, it has"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":189.862,"endTime":193.388,"body":"joined the choir invisible"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":193.838,"endTime":194.918,"body":"and no longer exists."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":195.44299999999998,"endTime":198.173,"body":"We just do"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":195.44299999999998,"endTime":198.173,"body":"not know, but yes."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":198.81799999999998,"endTime":199.238,"body":"no."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":199.68099999999998,"endTime":202.756,"body":"We're gonna follow 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an"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":430.609,"endTime":432.049,"body":"injunction, isn't it?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":432.079,"endTime":433.129,"body":"Don't be seen."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":433.609,"endTime":434.959,"body":"But yeah, that's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":433.609,"endTime":434.959,"body":"further down the list."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":434.964,"endTime":436.219,"body":"I will talk about that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":436.803,"endTime":439.173,"body":"I think it's more profound"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":436.803,"endTime":439.173,"body":"when it starts as a child,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":439.203,"endTime":443.373,"body":"cuz it becomes your identity"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":439.203,"endTime":443.373,"body":"of Don't Be, but even as an"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":443.373,"endTime":447.21299999999997,"body":"adult we can pick up on these"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":443.373,"endTime":447.21299999999997,"body":"things we're, we're humans."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":447.483,"endTime":450.155,"body":"Our personality isn't"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":447.483,"endTime":450.155,"body":"necessarily set in stone and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":450.17,"endTime":452.42,"body":"if it was we wouldn't have a"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":450.17,"endTime":452.42,"body":"job cause we help people to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":452.42,"endTime":454.84999999999997,"body":"try and change these things."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":455.12,"endTime":457.37,"body":"So I guess they can develop"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":455.12,"endTime":457.37,"body":"these as adults as well."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":457.37,"endTime":459.656,"body":"Even if the foundations as"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":457.37,"endTime":459.656,"body":"a child were pretty good."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":459.686,"endTime":462.176,"body":"I mean, we know from lots"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":459.686,"endTime":462.176,"body":"of twin studies, twin"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":462.176,"endTime":465.976,"body":"research that personality"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":462.176,"endTime":465.976,"body":"and our mental health"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":465.976,"endTime":467.626,"body":"traits, it's 50 50."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":467.626,"endTime":468.646,"body":"Nature and nurture."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":469.346,"endTime":470.426,"body":"Some of it is genetic."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":470.426,"endTime":473.64,"body":"It's just you have a"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":470.426,"endTime":473.64,"body":"predisposition to these"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":473.84999999999997,"endTime":478.763,"body":"certain feelings and  can have"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":473.84999999999997,"endTime":478.763,"body":"a decent childhood, but you've"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":478.763,"endTime":482.493,"body":"still got the predisposition"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":478.763,"endTime":482.493,"body":"to anxiety or depression, but"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":482.493,"endTime":484.233,"body":"it doesn't get switched on"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":482.493,"endTime":484.233,"body":"until you're an adult when"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":484.233,"endTime":486.573,"body":"you've had some difficult"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":484.233,"endTime":486.573,"body":"life experiences maybe."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":486.96,"endTime":489.59999999999997,"body":"As we've been talking,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":486.96,"endTime":489.59999999999997,"body":"I, I'm just aware that there"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":489.59999999999997,"endTime":493.87,"body":"could be people listening"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":489.59999999999997,"endTime":493.87,"body":"who are going Oh, crikey."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":493.965,"endTime":497.895,"body":"I've said that to my children"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":493.965,"endTime":497.895,"body":"probably on the sort of"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":497.895,"endTime":499.643,"body":"jokey side of you were an"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":499.748,"endTime":500.798,"body":"Or the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":499.748,"endTime":500.798,"body":"happy accident thing."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":500.858,"endTime":501.168,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":501.518,"endTime":502.928,"body":"more likely"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":501.518,"endTime":502.928,"body":"that, but it could be"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":503.298,"endTime":504.84499999999997,"body":"could be more than that."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":504.89,"endTime":508.21999999999997,"body":"If that is the case, I'd just"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":504.89,"endTime":508.21999999999997,"body":"like to encourage you to just"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":508.84999999999997,"endTime":513.461,"body":"talk to your child and explain"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":508.84999999999997,"endTime":513.461,"body":"and, and, and help them."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":513.811,"endTime":515.941,"body":"They, they might be still"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":513.811,"endTime":515.941,"body":"children, they might be"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":515.941,"endTime":519.28,"body":"adults, but just talk to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":515.941,"endTime":519.28,"body":"them and make it clear"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":519.384,"endTime":522.407,"body":"what you really do mean"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":519.384,"endTime":522.407,"body":"and help them to, process"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":522.407,"endTime":523.8770000000001,"body":"that so it's not lingering."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":524.291,"endTime":524.981,"body":"That can be done."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":525.403,"endTime":527.9730000000001,"body":"It's one thing to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":525.403,"endTime":527.9730000000001,"body":"say, I wish I hadn't had kids."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":527.9730000000001,"endTime":530.2230000000001,"body":"It was really"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":527.9730000000001,"endTime":530.2230000000001,"body":"difficult time for me."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":531.063,"endTime":534.003,"body":"And if you realize oh that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":531.063,"endTime":534.003,"body":"could be taken in a painful"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":534.008,"endTime":537.003,"body":"way, you can follow that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":534.008,"endTime":537.003,"body":"up later with, you know,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":537.303,"endTime":539.793,"body":"I said the other week that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":537.303,"endTime":539.793,"body":"I wish I'd never had kids"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":539.913,"endTime":543.663,"body":"and meant to add on to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":539.913,"endTime":543.663,"body":"the end then that, Hmm."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":543.7230000000001,"endTime":544.533,"body":"How would you say it,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":545.2330000000001,"endTime":545.3530000000001,"body":"you"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":545.5630000000001,"endTime":546.8230000000001,"body":"start with, I love you"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":547.768,"endTime":550.238,"body":"You Yes."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":550.768,"endTime":551.158,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":551.998,"endTime":554.018,"body":"And it is worth."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":554.9860000000001,"endTime":556.696,"body":"Or you are worth it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":556.726,"endTime":558.1360000000001,"body":"Yes, having children"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":556.726,"endTime":558.1360000000001,"body":"is difficult, but"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":558.1360000000001,"endTime":558.946,"body":"you are worth it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":559.6360000000001,"endTime":562.666,"body":"You're worth going through"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":559.6360000000001,"endTime":562.666,"body":"that difficulty for, because"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":562.666,"endTime":564.316,"body":"having children is difficult."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":564.5260000000001,"endTime":567.226,"body":"It is because there's all"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":564.5260000000001,"endTime":567.226,"body":"the extra pressure that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":567.226,"endTime":568.1560000000001,"body":"gets put on somebody."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":568.1560000000001,"endTime":572.416,"body":"And sadly, I wrote about this"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":568.1560000000001,"endTime":572.416,"body":"in my book, going through"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":572.446,"endTime":575.326,"body":"some studies, some research"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":572.446,"endTime":575.326,"body":"into the happiness levels,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":575.326,"endTime":578.3860000000001,"body":"the wellbeing levels of people"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":575.326,"endTime":578.3860000000001,"body":"with and without children."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":578.836,"endTime":582.5260000000001,"body":"And actually the, the ones"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":578.836,"endTime":582.5260000000001,"body":"without children are happier."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":583.226,"endTime":585.566,"body":"So if you're gonna follow"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":583.226,"endTime":585.566,"body":"the happiness research"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":585.956,"endTime":588.7760000000001,"body":"in the short term,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":585.956,"endTime":588.7760000000001,"body":"don't have children."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":589.476,"endTime":593.1160000000001,"body":"But in the long term you"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":589.476,"endTime":593.1160000000001,"body":"find that parents, it takes"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":593.1160000000001,"endTime":596.566,"body":"a few years, their wellbeing"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":593.1160000000001,"endTime":596.566,"body":"does return to what it was"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":596.566,"endTime":597.676,"body":"before they had children."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":597.893,"endTime":599.663,"body":"you can measure the wellbeing"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":597.893,"endTime":599.663,"body":"of somebody before they"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":599.663,"endTime":601.613,"body":"have children, and then"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":599.663,"endTime":601.613,"body":"immediately afterwards and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":601.613,"endTime":602.8430000000001,"body":"their wellbeing is slumped."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":602.873,"endTime":605.903,"body":"The happiness levels have"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":602.873,"endTime":605.903,"body":"dropped, takes about five"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":605.903,"endTime":608.4530000000001,"body":"to six years to get back"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":605.903,"endTime":608.4530000000001,"body":"to how you were, your"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":608.4530000000001,"endTime":611.2130000000001,"body":"happiness levels before"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":608.4530000000001,"endTime":611.2130000000001,"body":"you had kids, just because"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":611.2180000000001,"endTime":612.653,"body":"those five years are hard."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":612.6830000000001,"endTime":613.403,"body":"That's all."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":613.9530000000001,"endTime":616.541,"body":"And then it can pick up a"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":613.9530000000001,"endTime":616.541,"body":"little bit for some people,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":616.7810000000001,"endTime":618.8810000000001,"body":"but it, it's certainly"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":616.7810000000001,"endTime":618.8810000000001,"body":"not something on the list"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":618.8810000000001,"endTime":621.221,"body":"of if you want to improve"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":618.8810000000001,"endTime":621.221,"body":"your relationship or you"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":621.221,"endTime":623.921,"body":"want to be happy, you only"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":621.221,"endTime":623.921,"body":"have to have children and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":623.921,"endTime":624.731,"body":"you're gonna be happier."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":625.341,"endTime":627.1110000000001,"body":"That doesn't stand"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":625.341,"endTime":627.1110000000001,"body":"up to research."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":627.5160000000001,"endTime":629.556,"body":"I'd also say"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":627.5160000000001,"endTime":629.556,"body":"that looking back on"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":629.561,"endTime":633.4390000000001,"body":"those times, it really"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":629.561,"endTime":633.4390000000001,"body":"is so context dependent"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":633.4390000000001,"endTime":634.628,"body":"on how you're feeling."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":634.9780000000001,"endTime":638.125,"body":"So, different occasions"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":634.9780000000001,"endTime":638.125,"body":"spring to mind when if I"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":638.125,"endTime":641.335,"body":"was asked the question,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":638.125,"endTime":641.335,"body":"I'd have said, yeah, I'm"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":641.34,"endTime":642.2950000000001,"body":"really, really happy."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":642.445,"endTime":644.7850000000001,"body":"And other times I'd have"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":642.445,"endTime":644.7850000000001,"body":"said absolutely not."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":645.7750000000001,"endTime":646.735,"body":"Yeah, I mean,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":645.7750000000001,"endTime":646.735,"body":"you had a bad night."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":646.735,"endTime":648.317,"body":"You've had a  few bad"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":646.735,"endTime":648.317,"body":"night sleeps cuz there's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":648.317,"endTime":649.307,"body":"been a rat running around"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":649.397,"endTime":649.8470000000001,"body":"yeah,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":650.0870000000001,"endTime":651.947,"body":"Imagine if every"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":650.0870000000001,"endTime":651.947,"body":"half an hour you're waking up"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":652.0070000000001,"endTime":656.1690000000001,"body":"that that, yeah,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":652.0070000000001,"endTime":656.1690000000001,"body":"that relentless time."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":656.4390000000001,"endTime":660.469,"body":"But if you were at a time when"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":656.4390000000001,"endTime":660.469,"body":"you just had a couple of hours"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":660.471,"endTime":665.466,"body":"of rest you weren't on your"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":660.471,"endTime":665.466,"body":"own with children and all's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":665.4860000000001,"endTime":669.302,"body":"right, with the world for some"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":665.4860000000001,"endTime":669.302,"body":"of it, if you're in the state"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":669.3080000000001,"endTime":673.388,"body":"where none of it's good, then"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":669.3080000000001,"endTime":673.388,"body":"that's problematic as well."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":674.298,"endTime":678.297,"body":"So we move onto the one on"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":674.298,"endTime":678.297,"body":"the list of these injunctions,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":678.302,"endTime":681.657,"body":"which sort of ties in"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":678.302,"endTime":681.657,"body":"with the previous one."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":681.657,"endTime":686.037,"body":"It's the sort of variant of"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":681.657,"endTime":686.037,"body":"it, which is Don't Be You."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":686.4250000000001,"endTime":691.855,"body":"And I would pretty much say"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":686.4250000000001,"endTime":691.855,"body":"that everybody has this to a"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":691.855,"endTime":697.495,"body":"certain extent because society"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":691.855,"endTime":697.495,"body":"does try to mold people"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":697.9150000000001,"endTime":700.6850000000001,"body":"into  well into conforming."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":701.0450000000001,"endTime":703.806,"body":"So a lot of people"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":701.0450000000001,"endTime":703.806,"body":"will have their little"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":703.806,"endTime":706.056,"body":"eccentricities judged."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":706.7660000000001,"endTime":710.201,"body":"But one  critical form"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":706.7660000000001,"endTime":710.201,"body":"of this would be parents"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":710.201,"endTime":713.1260000000001,"body":"again who have a child of"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":710.201,"endTime":713.1260000000001,"body":"a gender that's not the one"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":713.1260000000001,"endTime":713.9960000000001,"body":"that they wanted to have."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":714.5150000000001,"endTime":717.695,"body":"I know I have said this"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":714.5150000000001,"endTime":717.695,"body":"to my boys, but I'm able"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":717.7,"endTime":720.335,"body":"to say it in a way that's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":717.7,"endTime":720.335,"body":"very supportive of them"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":720.335,"endTime":723.0350000000001,"body":"because before I had"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":720.335,"endTime":723.0350000000001,"body":"children I wanted girls."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":723.815,"endTime":724.835,"body":"And I got boys."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":725.345,"endTime":727.955,"body":"My brother wanted"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":725.345,"endTime":727.955,"body":"boys and got girls."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":728.9000000000001,"endTime":734.1350000000001,"body":"But both of us are absolutely"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":728.9000000000001,"endTime":734.1350000000001,"body":"thrilled with what we got"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":734.835,"endTime":738.6450000000001,"body":"that, you know, so, but"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":734.835,"endTime":738.6450000000001,"body":"that's, that's the difference."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":739.6350000000001,"endTime":743.7750000000001,"body":"If I wasn't, if I'd spent all"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":739.6350000000001,"endTime":743.7750000000001,"body":"these years, there's a lot"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":743.7750000000001,"endTime":748.5350000000001,"body":"of them wishing  that they"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":743.7750000000001,"endTime":748.5350000000001,"body":"were girls, then that would"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":748.5400000000001,"endTime":753.7950000000001,"body":"be rubbing off on them as"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":748.5400000000001,"endTime":753.7950000000001,"body":"being Don't be what you are."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":754.695,"endTime":758.014,"body":"Of course, this also"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":754.695,"endTime":758.014,"body":"applies with or can not,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":758.014,"endTime":760.8340000000001,"body":"obviously always, but"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":758.014,"endTime":760.8340000000001,"body":"can apply to sexuality."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":761.494,"endTime":763.9240000000001,"body":"You remember ages ago we"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":761.494,"endTime":763.9240000000001,"body":"had that episode, didn't we?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":763.9540000000001,"endTime":766.114,"body":"Very early on about"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":763.9540000000001,"endTime":766.114,"body":"is it okay to be gay?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":766.2940000000001,"endTime":769.354,"body":"Cause the person who was"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":766.2940000000001,"endTime":769.354,"body":"asking the question was,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":769.4440000000001,"endTime":773.5980000000001,"body":"was being told he's not"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":769.4440000000001,"endTime":773.5980000000001,"body":"right as himself and he"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":773.748,"endTime":776.428,"body":"should be something else."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":777.388,"endTime":777.778,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":778.618,"endTime":781.35,"body":"And sometimes, they see"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":778.618,"endTime":781.35,"body":"their children as little"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":781.35,"endTime":784.5,"body":"extensions of themselves and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":781.35,"endTime":784.5,"body":"they want their children to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":784.5,"endTime":786.532,"body":"turn into them, and they."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":786.582,"endTime":787.2990000000001,"body":"not them."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":787.5390000000001,"endTime":789.6690000000001,"body":"Your children are"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":787.5390000000001,"endTime":789.6690000000001,"body":"somebody else completely."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":789.6690000000001,"endTime":792.639,"body":"They might be inspired by"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":789.6690000000001,"endTime":792.639,"body":"you, but they're figuring"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":792.639,"endTime":795.879,"body":"out who they are and to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":792.639,"endTime":795.879,"body":"think that they have to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":795.884,"endTime":797.259,"body":"follow in your footsteps."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":797.7320000000001,"endTime":800.3720000000001,"body":"if that's the message that's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":797.7320000000001,"endTime":800.3720000000001,"body":"being put out there day"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":800.3770000000001,"endTime":802.7420000000001,"body":"after day, week after week"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":800.3770000000001,"endTime":802.7420000000001,"body":"while they're growing up,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":802.892,"endTime":805.955,"body":"it is gonna give them that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":802.892,"endTime":805.955,"body":"feeling of being me is wrong."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":806.195,"endTime":807.9050000000001,"body":"I need to be like them."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":808.5490000000001,"endTime":809.2090000000001,"body":"Me."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":809.9090000000001,"endTime":813.695,"body":"There's something wrong"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":809.9090000000001,"endTime":813.695,"body":"with me and yeah, not a nice"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":813.695,"endTime":815.759,"body":"message to feel in your body."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":816.5790000000001,"endTime":819.389,"body":"And I think these days"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":816.5790000000001,"endTime":819.389,"body":"there's an awful lot more"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":819.389,"endTime":822.759,"body":"acceptance of being yourself."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":822.821,"endTime":825.551,"body":"It's sort of considered"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":822.821,"endTime":825.551,"body":"to be a good thing in"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":825.551,"endTime":827.591,"body":"most circumstances, but"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":825.551,"endTime":827.591,"body":"there would still be"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":827.591,"endTime":828.971,"body":"circumstances where it's not."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":828.971,"endTime":831.551,"body":"I mean, I don't know much"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":828.971,"endTime":831.551,"body":"about the military, but"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":831.551,"endTime":834.191,"body":"I would expect that still"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":831.551,"endTime":834.191,"body":"there is an element of"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":834.341,"endTime":838.0010000000001,"body":"not being yourself in the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":834.341,"endTime":838.0010000000001,"body":"military, because that's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":838.0010000000001,"endTime":838.9910000000001,"body":"sort of how it works."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":839.3420000000001,"endTime":842.3080000000001,"body":"But if you're working"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":839.3420000000001,"endTime":842.3080000000001,"body":"in a, let's say you're"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":842.3080000000001,"endTime":843.499,"body":"working in a call center."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":843.902,"endTime":846.0920000000001,"body":"And you're not allowed"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":843.902,"endTime":846.0920000000001,"body":"to be yourself."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":846.392,"endTime":849.692,"body":"That's, that's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":846.392,"endTime":849.692,"body":"not right, is it?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":849.9620000000001,"endTime":853.562,"body":"I mean, it's good to have"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":849.9620000000001,"endTime":853.562,"body":"some, some personality, but"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":853.562,"endTime":854.822,"body":"you still have to do the job."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":854.9720000000001,"endTime":857.0120000000001,"body":"So you still have to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":854.9720000000001,"endTime":857.0120000000001,"body":"conform to those degrees."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":857.0120000000001,"endTime":859.5920000000001,"body":"But that's, that is part"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":857.0120000000001,"endTime":859.5920000000001,"body":"of living in society that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":859.5920000000001,"endTime":861.392,"body":"we all have to conform"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":859.5920000000001,"endTime":861.392,"body":"to a certain degree."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":862.0920000000001,"endTime":865.5120000000001,"body":"We do even as"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":862.0920000000001,"endTime":865.5120000000001,"body":"therapists to a degree,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":866.172,"endTime":869.3820000000001,"body":"but therapists listening"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":866.172,"endTime":869.3820000000001,"body":"cuz I know therapists do."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":870.082,"endTime":873.022,"body":"What's important is"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":870.082,"endTime":873.022,"body":"that we are ourselves"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":873.7220000000001,"endTime":874.7120000000001,"body":"in the therapy room."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":875.042,"endTime":877.562,"body":"That we are congruent."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":878.072,"endTime":882.282,"body":"There's, there's nothing"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":878.072,"endTime":882.282,"body":"about us that is false"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":882.282,"endTime":885.432,"body":"or fake because clients"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":882.282,"endTime":885.432,"body":"will pick up on that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":886.1320000000001,"endTime":888.7420000000001,"body":"And that's why it's important"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":886.1320000000001,"endTime":888.7420000000001,"body":"for therapists to make"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":888.7420000000001,"endTime":892.042,"body":"sure that if they've got"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":888.7420000000001,"endTime":892.042,"body":"any of these injunctions"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":892.312,"endTime":895.042,"body":"kicking around or they've"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":892.312,"endTime":895.042,"body":"got anything that a client"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":895.042,"endTime":898.0120000000001,"body":"might bring in, if that, if"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":895.042,"endTime":898.0120000000001,"body":"we've got something similar,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":898.4620000000001,"endTime":899.7520000000001,"body":"we need to work on that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":900.5920000000001,"endTime":902.6020000000001,"body":"Cuz if a client comes in with"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":900.5920000000001,"endTime":902.6020000000001,"body":"the same issue that we've"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":902.6020000000001,"endTime":905.9620000000001,"body":"got, we need to know, yeah,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":902.6020000000001,"endTime":905.9620000000001,"body":"I can help them because I've"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":905.9620000000001,"endTime":909.839,"body":"worked on this issue myself"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":905.9620000000001,"endTime":909.839,"body":"and maybe even self-disclose."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":910.5390000000001,"endTime":913.4240000000001,"body":"We always say with"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":910.5390000000001,"endTime":913.4240000000001,"body":"self-disclosure that as"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":913.4240000000001,"endTime":916.3340000000001,"body":"a therapist, you only do"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":913.4240000000001,"endTime":916.3340000000001,"body":"that if it's specifically"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":916.3340000000001,"endTime":918.224,"body":"going to help the client."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":918.404,"endTime":921.974,"body":"And it's the best way to help"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":918.404,"endTime":921.974,"body":"the client, but it can be."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":922.1840000000001,"endTime":923.6840000000001,"body":"So yeah."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":923.6840000000001,"endTime":927.706,"body":"An another form of this"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":923.6840000000001,"endTime":927.706,"body":"Don't Be You, is about the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":927.706,"endTime":930.993,"body":"physical body that with"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":927.706,"endTime":930.993,"body":"social media, particularly"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":931.143,"endTime":934.969,"body":"Instagram, I would say"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":931.143,"endTime":934.969,"body":"that is telling people."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":935.2900000000001,"endTime":937.8100000000001,"body":"What they should"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":935.2900000000001,"endTime":937.8100000000001,"body":"be physically."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":938.195,"endTime":943.052,"body":"And that gives that message"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":938.195,"endTime":943.052,"body":"of Don't Be whatever it is,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":943.7520000000001,"endTime":944.052,"body":"Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":944.7520000000001,"endTime":946.7320000000001,"body":"which can lead to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":944.7520000000001,"endTime":946.7320000000001,"body":"all sorts of problems,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":946.7370000000001,"endTime":949.312,"body":"including sort of addiction"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":946.7370000000001,"endTime":949.312,"body":"to cosmetic surgery and."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":950.0120000000001,"endTime":950.402,"body":"yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":950.402,"endTime":954.652,"body":"It's one thing to see cuz"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":950.402,"endTime":954.652,"body":"fashions will come and go and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":954.792,"endTime":958.772,"body":"all of us are gonna look back"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":954.792,"endTime":958.772,"body":"at our, our past as decades go"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":958.772,"endTime":962.7320000000001,"body":"on and see photos of ourselves"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":958.772,"endTime":962.7320000000001,"body":"and go, what was I wearing?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":963.392,"endTime":966.332,"body":"Look, I'm have, I"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":963.392,"endTime":966.332,"body":"got an earring in."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":967.022,"endTime":968.8820000000001,"body":"I used to wear an"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":967.022,"endTime":968.8820000000001,"body":"earring back in the day."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":969.8720000000001,"endTime":970.892,"body":"I wouldn't do it now."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":970.892,"endTime":975.0920000000001,"body":"It wouldn't suit me,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":970.892,"endTime":975.0920000000001,"body":"but fashions change."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":975.0920000000001,"endTime":977.897,"body":"I used to have a, oh yeah,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":975.0920000000001,"endTime":977.897,"body":"it had a cross on it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":979.052,"endTime":980.5540000000001,"body":", and I wore a gold bracelet."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":980.5540000000001,"endTime":983.974,"body":"It was not, yeah, it"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":980.5540000000001,"endTime":983.974,"body":"wouldn't suit me anymore."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":983.974,"endTime":985.0540000000001,"body":"I'd just look daft."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":985.754,"endTime":987.404,"body":"That's easily changed."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":987.9440000000001,"endTime":992.964,"body":"But if we've got this need"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":987.9440000000001,"endTime":992.964,"body":"to change our body, I mean,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":992.964,"endTime":994.524,"body":"I've got a couple of tattoos."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":994.8240000000001,"endTime":996.774,"body":"I don't necessarily"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":994.8240000000001,"endTime":996.774,"body":"regret them that one of"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":996.774,"endTime":998.6640000000001,"body":"them particularly hasn't"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":996.774,"endTime":998.6640000000001,"body":"stood the test of time."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":998.6640000000001,"endTime":1001.6640000000001,"body":"Cause it's very nineties and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":998.6640000000001,"endTime":1001.6640000000001,"body":"I do look at that and go, oh,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1001.6690000000001,"endTime":1002.5640000000001,"body":"that needs some color in it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1002.5640000000001,"endTime":1003.884,"body":"That's just black."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1003.884,"endTime":1007.1840000000001,"body":"That sort of 1990s,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1003.884,"endTime":1007.1840000000001,"body":"fashion of just these"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1007.1840000000001,"endTime":1008.8040000000001,"body":"black tribal tattoos."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1008.894,"endTime":1011.384,"body":"Yeah, I got one of those, like"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1008.894,"endTime":1011.384,"body":"a lot of blokes did in the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1011.384,"endTime":1014.9240000000001,"body":"nineties, and I'm accepting of"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1011.384,"endTime":1014.9240000000001,"body":"that and go it is what it is."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1014.9240000000001,"endTime":1017.364,"body":"It's, it's, but"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1014.9240000000001,"endTime":1017.364,"body":"that's only small."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1017.364,"endTime":1020.124,"body":"It takes up an arm, you"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1017.364,"endTime":1020.124,"body":"know, it's not a big deal."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1020.8240000000001,"endTime":1026.004,"body":"But to change your, your"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1020.8240000000001,"endTime":1026.004,"body":"entire face as cosmetic"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1026.004,"endTime":1029.094,"body":"surgery can do, and there's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1026.004,"endTime":1029.094,"body":"no going back from that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1029.934,"endTime":1030.084,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1030.084,"endTime":1034.164,"body":"That's not a fashion thing"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1030.084,"endTime":1034.164,"body":"that's, that can be painful,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1034.584,"endTime":1037.464,"body":"physically painful, as well"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1034.584,"endTime":1037.464,"body":"as emotionally painful when,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1037.674,"endTime":1039.984,"body":"oh, I still don't feel right."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1040.61,"endTime":1044.99,"body":"I still have that background"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1040.61,"endTime":1044.99,"body":"injunction that says, Don't"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1044.995,"endTime":1048.78,"body":"Be You cause you still"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1044.995,"endTime":1048.78,"body":"carry you cosmetic surgery"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1048.78,"endTime":1051.33,"body":"or tattoos or new hats."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1051.6299999999999,"endTime":1053.8799999999999,"body":"You're still gonna be"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1051.6299999999999,"endTime":1053.8799999999999,"body":"you, you still take you"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1053.8799999999999,"endTime":1055.4399999999998,"body":"with you wherever you go."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1055.5,"endTime":1055.83,"body":"And that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1056.04,"endTime":1056.6699999999998,"body":"wherever you go."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1056.76,"endTime":1057.4099999999999,"body":"be there."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1058.214,"endTime":1061.119,"body":"so the next one"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1058.214,"endTime":1061.119,"body":"is, Don't Be A Child."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1061.819,"endTime":1062.329,"body":"Have you met me?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1065.604,"endTime":1066.2939999999999,"body":"I wasn't"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1066.2939999999999,"endTime":1068.299,"body":"I wonder if if I"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1066.2939999999999,"endTime":1068.299,"body":"was encouraged to be a child."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1068.299,"endTime":1070.099,"body":"Cause I've not"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1068.299,"endTime":1070.099,"body":"really grown up."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1070.384,"endTime":1073.234,"body":"Well, there's a,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1070.384,"endTime":1073.234,"body":"there's a contrasting one,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1073.234,"endTime":1075.171,"body":"which is Don't Grow Up."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1075.521,"endTime":1079.7859999999998,"body":"And I, I saw somebody the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1075.521,"endTime":1079.7859999999998,"body":"other day on Facebook."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1079.7859999999998,"endTime":1083.106,"body":"I think this was with"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1079.7859999999998,"endTime":1083.106,"body":"a picture of their baby"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1083.106,"endTime":1084.546,"body":"saying exactly that."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1085.296,"endTime":1086.3049999999998,"body":"Stop growing up."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1086.655,"endTime":1090.36,"body":"Now, I'm sure that it"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1086.655,"endTime":1090.36,"body":"was just, Oh, you're so"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1090.36,"endTime":1094.08,"body":"gorgeous at this phase"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1090.36,"endTime":1094.08,"body":"and I love you so much."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1094.08,"endTime":1096.75,"body":"Now I don't want you"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1094.08,"endTime":1096.75,"body":"to change, which is"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1097.11,"endTime":1098.28,"body":"a very natural thing."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1098.55,"endTime":1101.61,"body":"And when it comes to puppies,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1098.55,"endTime":1101.61,"body":"I wish that could be the case."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1101.9399999999998,"endTime":1105.45,"body":"Cuz wouldn't it be nice if we"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1101.9399999999998,"endTime":1105.45,"body":"could keep a puppy forever?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1106.177,"endTime":1108.587,"body":"Probably, there's plenty"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1106.177,"endTime":1108.587,"body":"of people listening"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1108.827,"endTime":1109.927,"body":"to that going, what?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1109.9569999999999,"endTime":1111.817,"body":"No, they're much better"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1109.9569999999999,"endTime":1111.817,"body":"when they're dogs."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1111.817,"endTime":1113.347,"body":"But anyway, that's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1111.817,"endTime":1113.347,"body":"beside the point."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1113.743,"endTime":1117.703,"body":"But it would tend to be that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1113.743,"endTime":1117.703,"body":"the elder child is told not"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1117.703,"endTime":1120.0159999999998,"body":"to be a child cuz they're"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1117.703,"endTime":1120.0159999999998,"body":"wanting the elder child to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1120.0159999999998,"endTime":1123.586,"body":"have responsibility and for"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1120.0159999999998,"endTime":1123.586,"body":"the younger one to be kept"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1123.586,"endTime":1128.176,"body":"as the baby so that the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1123.586,"endTime":1128.176,"body":"parents still have their baby."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1128.876,"endTime":1132.638,"body":"But it's worth just looking"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1128.876,"endTime":1132.638,"body":"out for that and seeing either"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1132.6979999999999,"endTime":1135.4279999999999,"body":"whether you are putting that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1132.6979999999999,"endTime":1135.4279999999999,"body":"on your children or whether"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1135.4279999999999,"endTime":1136.4279999999999,"body":"it's being put on you."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1136.778,"endTime":1137.128,"body":"mm."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1137.528,"endTime":1137.918,"body":"Next one."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1137.918,"endTime":1138.1879999999999,"body":"All."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1138.193,"endTime":1138.878,"body":"I love this one."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1138.998,"endTime":1140.408,"body":"Don't succeed."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1140.588,"endTime":1141.578,"body":"Don't make it."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1142.278,"endTime":1147.6779999999999,"body":"That often fits with the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1142.278,"endTime":1147.6779999999999,"body":"try hard driver, so try"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1147.6779999999999,"endTime":1151.158,"body":"hard, but don't make it"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1147.6779999999999,"endTime":1151.158,"body":"as, as sort of a, a way"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1151.158,"endTime":1152.388,"body":"of being in the world."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1153.088,"endTime":1155.7279999999998,"body":"Any thoughts on"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1153.088,"endTime":1155.7279999999998,"body":"why that might be?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1156.4279999999999,"endTime":1159.4879999999998,"body":"Jealousy can"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1156.4279999999999,"endTime":1159.4879999999998,"body":"play a part in that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1160.1879999999999,"endTime":1163.628,"body":"That a parent can look at"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1160.1879999999999,"endTime":1163.628,"body":"the successes of their child"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1164.078,"endTime":1167.2749999999999,"body":"and, and maybe envious is"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1164.078,"endTime":1167.2749999999999,"body":"probably the right word, that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1168.115,"endTime":1170.995,"body":"How come they, they're having"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1168.115,"endTime":1170.995,"body":"more opportunities than I had."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1171.685,"endTime":1173.875,"body":"They should have the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1171.685,"endTime":1173.875,"body":"same life that I had."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1174.655,"endTime":1176.3049999999998,"body":"And I know that probably"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1174.655,"endTime":1176.3049999999998,"body":"fits in with a couple of the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1176.3049999999998,"endTime":1177.475,"body":"other injunctions as well."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1178.135,"endTime":1182.595,"body":"But there is this, I think"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1178.135,"endTime":1182.595,"body":"sometimes an envy of the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1182.595,"endTime":1185.325,"body":"opportunities that the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1182.595,"endTime":1185.325,"body":"next generation gets."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1186.0249999999999,"endTime":1187.345,"body":"And some parents don't"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1186.0249999999999,"endTime":1187.345,"body":"want their children"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1187.345,"endTime":1188.095,"body":"to surpass them."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1188.7949999999998,"endTime":1190.7749999999999,"body":"It also fits with"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1188.7949999999998,"endTime":1190.7749999999999,"body":"what you were saying about"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1191.0169999999998,"endTime":1192.62,"body":"Don't Be Visible doesn't it."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1192.8899999999999,"endTime":1194.96,"body":"Which isn't actually on"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1192.8899999999999,"endTime":1194.96,"body":"the list that I've got."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1194.96,"endTime":1199.07,"body":"So it does tie in here"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1194.96,"endTime":1199.07,"body":"that it's, it's a keep"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1199.07,"endTime":1201.11,"body":"yourself down, stay down."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1201.81,"endTime":1204.45,"body":"Don't make a noise,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1201.81,"endTime":1204.45,"body":"don't make a fuss."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1205.35,"endTime":1206.49,"body":"Don't show off."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1206.866,"endTime":1207.807,"body":"just, be quiet."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1208.5069999999998,"endTime":1208.857,"body":"mm"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1209.273,"endTime":1210.713,"body":"don't make too"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1209.273,"endTime":1210.713,"body":"much of an impact."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1211.3129999999999,"endTime":1212.8319999999999,"body":"Don't put your head"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1211.3129999999999,"endTime":1212.8319999999999,"body":"above the parapet."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1212.8319999999999,"endTime":1213.522,"body":"Stay down."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1214.222,"endTime":1214.492,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1214.6119999999999,"endTime":1216.292,"body":"And that that comes"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1214.6119999999999,"endTime":1216.292,"body":"from place of pain."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1216.292,"endTime":1218.152,"body":"If a parent is teaching"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1216.292,"endTime":1218.152,"body":"that, they're teaching that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1218.152,"endTime":1220.402,"body":"for a reason, cuz they've"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1218.152,"endTime":1220.402,"body":"been hurt by having their"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1220.402,"endTime":1221.492,"body":"head above the parapet."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1222.172,"endTime":1224.788,"body":"Well, I'm definitely one"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1222.172,"endTime":1224.788,"body":"for sticking my head above"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1224.788,"endTime":1227.278,"body":"the parapet and I've been"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1224.788,"endTime":1227.278,"body":"shot at so many times."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1227.953,"endTime":1229.003,"body":"just, just the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1229.018,"endTime":1230.248,"body":"I mean,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1229.018,"endTime":1230.248,"body":"and it does hurt."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1230.653,"endTime":1233.051,"body":"Just, just the other"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1230.653,"endTime":1233.051,"body":"day, somebody this is just"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1233.051,"endTime":1234.551,"body":"in a, a WhatsApp group."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1234.637,"endTime":1237.4879999999998,"body":"Somebody said something"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1234.637,"endTime":1237.4879999999998,"body":"that I found unacceptable."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1237.9779999999998,"endTime":1240.398,"body":"Somebody else called it out"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1237.9779999999998,"endTime":1240.398,"body":"and I backed him up and he"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1240.398,"endTime":1242.993,"body":"then said, Thank you for"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1240.398,"endTime":1242.993,"body":"putting your head above the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1242.993,"endTime":1245.243,"body":"parapet, and I just said"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1242.993,"endTime":1245.243,"body":"I'm very used to having"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1245.243,"endTime":1246.503,"body":"my head above the parapet."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1247.03,"endTime":1248.86,"body":"It, it, it happens a lot."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1248.9199999999998,"endTime":1249.61,"body":"Used to it."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1250.12,"endTime":1251.05,"body":"Got a tin hat."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1251.47,"endTime":1252.1399999999999,"body":"It's okay."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1252.288,"endTime":1255.249,"body":"it's not nice, but it's,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1252.288,"endTime":1255.249,"body":"to me it's better that way."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1255.819,"endTime":1258.019,"body":"But that doesn't mean that."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1258.369,"endTime":1260.559,"body":"I mean, if everybody put their"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1258.369,"endTime":1260.559,"body":"heads above the parapets,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1260.559,"endTime":1261.6,"body":"we wouldn't need a parapet."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1264.4089999999999,"endTime":1264.529,"body":"Hmm."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1264.5339999999999,"endTime":1264.789,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1265.489,"endTime":1266.389,"body":"What's the next one?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1266.539,"endTime":1267.259,"body":"our next one."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1267.9589999999998,"endTime":1270.4189999999999,"body":"Well, it also fits"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1267.9589999999998,"endTime":1270.4189999999999,"body":"in with that as well."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1270.4489999999998,"endTime":1271.559,"body":"Don't be important."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1271.9589999999998,"endTime":1275.859,"body":"So that leads to people"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1271.9589999999998,"endTime":1275.859,"body":"having low self-esteem, cuz"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1275.859,"endTime":1278.994,"body":"of course don't be important"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1275.859,"endTime":1278.994,"body":"it contains the message of"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1279.0839999999998,"endTime":1282.354,"body":"you are not important and,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1279.0839999999998,"endTime":1282.354,"body":"but you need to stay there."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1282.6009999999999,"endTime":1283.1509999999998,"body":"Stay there."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1283.1509999999998,"endTime":1285.336,"body":"In this list it says"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1283.1509999999998,"endTime":1285.336,"body":"more often female."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1285.723,"endTime":1287.836,"body":"I can see that I was"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1285.723,"endTime":1287.836,"body":"thinking sort of the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1287.896,"endTime":1292.541,"body":"office jobs where it's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1287.896,"endTime":1292.541,"body":"the imposed glass ceiling."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1292.933,"endTime":1294.796,"body":"you know, don't bother"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1292.933,"endTime":1294.796,"body":"to apply for that."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1295.346,"endTime":1297.654,"body":"And that's, it's still there."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1297.654,"endTime":1299.904,"body":"I mean, obviously nowhere"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1297.654,"endTime":1299.904,"body":"near as much as it was."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1300.011,"endTime":1301.571,"body":"Well, yeah, there's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1300.011,"endTime":1301.571,"body":"still a long way to go."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1301.801,"endTime":1305.1609999999998,"body":"Women are still seen as bossy"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1301.801,"endTime":1305.1609999999998,"body":"when they're assertive and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1305.1609999999998,"endTime":1306.271,"body":"men are seen as confident,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1306.539,"endTime":1306.989,"body":"Yep."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1307.124,"endTime":1309.164,"body":"that is still"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1307.124,"endTime":1309.164,"body":"there in our culture"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1309.164,"endTime":1310.3039999999999,"body":"all these years later."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1310.644,"endTime":1313.194,"body":"The more we talk about it,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1310.644,"endTime":1313.194,"body":"the more it dilutes down, but"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1313.194,"endTime":1315.3239999999998,"body":"we've still got so far to go."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1316.024,"endTime":1317.854,"body":"I saw something on Twitter"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1316.024,"endTime":1317.854,"body":"a couple of days ago where"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1318.274,"endTime":1320.024,"body":"somebody was they were"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1318.274,"endTime":1320.024,"body":"just at work having a"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1320.024,"endTime":1322.364,"body":"conversation with, with a man."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1322.781,"endTime":1326.191,"body":"And a stranger into the office"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1322.781,"endTime":1326.191,"body":"walked over to the two of"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1326.191,"endTime":1330.3819999999998,"body":"them and interrupted turned"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1326.191,"endTime":1330.3819999999998,"body":"to the woman and said, are you"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1330.3819999999998,"endTime":1332.3619999999999,"body":"the one you need to speak to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1330.3819999999998,"endTime":1332.3619999999999,"body":"about getting a flip chart?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1333.062,"endTime":1333.692,"body":"And she went, No."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1333.692,"endTime":1334.3519999999999,"body":"What makes you think that?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1335.052,"endTime":1337.452,"body":"And the guy didn't know what"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1335.052,"endTime":1337.452,"body":"to say, , because he didn't"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1337.452,"endTime":1340.182,"body":"say, who would I need to speak"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1337.452,"endTime":1340.182,"body":"to to organize a flip chart?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1340.182,"endTime":1340.6319999999998,"body":"Do you know?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1340.637,"endTime":1343.3919999999998,"body":"It was, are you the one that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1340.637,"endTime":1343.3919999999998,"body":"would get me a flip chart?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1343.572,"endTime":1346.3319999999999,"body":"It's not what, because,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1343.572,"endTime":1346.3319999999999,"body":"because I don't have a penis."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1346.992,"endTime":1347.8919999999998,"body":"I doubt she said that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1347.8919999999998,"endTime":1350.3819999999998,"body":"Although actually following"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1347.8919999999998,"endTime":1350.3819999999998,"body":"her stuff on Twitter, she"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1350.3819999999998,"endTime":1352.932,"body":"seems to be the type that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1350.3819999999998,"endTime":1352.932,"body":"would, and I wouldn't"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1352.932,"endTime":1353.8319999999999,"body":"blame her if she did"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1355.242,"endTime":1358.133,"body":"I had an example last"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1355.242,"endTime":1358.133,"body":"week when I was flying home"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1358.223,"endTime":1360.653,"body":"from holiday, there was a"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1358.223,"endTime":1360.653,"body":"medical emergency on the plane"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1360.743,"endTime":1363.5529999999999,"body":"and they did the , the call."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1363.899,"endTime":1365.609,"body":"It was quite an interesting"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1363.899,"endTime":1365.609,"body":"phrase, I thought."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1365.789,"endTime":1368.579,"body":"Is there anybody who"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1365.789,"endTime":1368.579,"body":"is a trained doctor or"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1368.5839999999998,"endTime":1369.916,"body":"nurse  on the plane?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1370.096,"endTime":1371.056,"body":"I thought trained."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1371.386,"endTime":1373.156,"body":"Do you mean you don't"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1371.386,"endTime":1373.156,"body":"want somebody who plays"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1373.156,"endTime":1374.056,"body":"one on television?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1374.5059999999999,"endTime":1374.806,"body":"But"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1375.0159999999998,"endTime":1376.0359999999998,"body":"Well, no, I"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1375.0159999999998,"endTime":1376.0359999999998,"body":"don't want somebody who's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1376.0359999999998,"endTime":1377.686,"body":"got a PhD in economics,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1378.346,"endTime":1379.096,"body":"it was trained."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1379.096,"endTime":1381.45,"body":"But anyway, apart from"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1379.096,"endTime":1381.45,"body":"that, Two people got"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1381.45,"endTime":1383.1599999999999,"body":"up, they were together."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1383.22,"endTime":1386.01,"body":"I, well, they either they"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1383.22,"endTime":1386.01,"body":"were together or it was"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1386.01,"endTime":1387.6299999999999,"body":"a coincidence that they"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1386.01,"endTime":1387.6299999999999,"body":"were in the same row."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1388.406,"endTime":1392.461,"body":"One man, one woman, and"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1388.406,"endTime":1392.461,"body":"I heard somebody person"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1392.466,"endTime":1395.8149999999998,"body":"sitting next to me referred"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1392.466,"endTime":1395.8149999999998,"body":"to the man as the doctor"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1396.0249999999999,"endTime":1397.375,"body":"and the woman as the nurse."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1397.8809999999999,"endTime":1401.301,"body":"And there was, there was"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1397.8809999999999,"endTime":1401.301,"body":"no evidence one way or"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1401.481,"endTime":1403.671,"body":"other as to, they could"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1401.481,"endTime":1403.671,"body":"have both been nurses."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1403.671,"endTime":1405.321,"body":"They could have both been"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1403.671,"endTime":1405.321,"body":"doctors, could have been"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1405.321,"endTime":1405.951,"body":"the other way around."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1406.806,"endTime":1409.7459999999999,"body":"But it was that, it was,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1406.806,"endTime":1409.7459999999999,"body":"that presumption was there."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1410.241,"endTime":1410.421,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1410.9759999999999,"endTime":1412.5059999999999,"body":"It's gonna be generations"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1412.819,"endTime":1414.8909999999998,"body":"the person next to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1412.819,"endTime":1414.8909999999998,"body":"me was a woman, about 20"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1415.591,"endTime":1416.081,"body":"What"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1416.3609999999999,"endTime":1416.721,"body":"mm."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1417.4109999999998,"endTime":1417.821,"body":"ugh!"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1418.541,"endTime":1418.991,"body":"So"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1419.321,"endTime":1419.6209999999999,"body":"yeah,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1419.721,"endTime":1420.761,"body":"definitely"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1419.721,"endTime":1420.761,"body":"worth calling out"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1421.1209999999999,"endTime":1423.3909999999998,"body":"I didn't, I was"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1421.1209999999999,"endTime":1423.3909999999998,"body":"gonna be sitting next"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1423.3909999999998,"endTime":1424.291,"body":"to her four hours."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1424.291,"endTime":1427.471,"body":"I thought, no, I'm not gonna,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1424.291,"endTime":1427.471,"body":"I'm not gonna question this."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1428.171,"endTime":1429.9289999999999,"body":"And how often"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1428.171,"endTime":1429.9289999999999,"body":"are girls brought up"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1429.9289999999999,"endTime":1432.6979999999999,"body":"with that message that,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1429.9289999999999,"endTime":1432.6979999999999,"body":"don't make a noise."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1432.703,"endTime":1433.838,"body":"Don't be important."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1434.138,"endTime":1435.4879999999998,"body":"It's one thing to say"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1434.138,"endTime":1435.4879999999998,"body":"that children should"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1435.493,"endTime":1436.4479999999999,"body":"be seen and not heard."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1436.508,"endTime":1439.388,"body":"I mean, that's bad enough,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1436.508,"endTime":1439.388,"body":"but, oh, it's okay if half"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1439.388,"endTime":1442.838,"body":"of the population can be seen"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1439.388,"endTime":1442.838,"body":"and heard, but you can't."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1443.538,"endTime":1445.788,"body":"That's the message that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1443.538,"endTime":1445.788,"body":"girls are often given."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1446.558,"endTime":1448.5339999999999,"body":"Yeah, and I mean,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1446.558,"endTime":1448.5339999999999,"body":"It will have changed now,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1448.5339999999999,"endTime":1450.724,"body":"but when I was at school,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1448.5339999999999,"endTime":1450.724,"body":"I mean, I'm 61 now, but"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1450.724,"endTime":1454.2859999999998,"body":"when I was at school I went"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1450.724,"endTime":1454.2859999999998,"body":"to an all girls school."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1454.293,"endTime":1456.598,"body":"My brother went to the all"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1454.293,"endTime":1456.598,"body":"boys school over the road,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1457.588,"endTime":1461.079,"body":"and if you did some research"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1457.588,"endTime":1461.079,"body":"on the technical achievement"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1461.079,"endTime":1465.2749999999999,"body":"levels of our comparative"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1461.079,"endTime":1465.2749999999999,"body":"classes, there'd be a big"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1465.2749999999999,"endTime":1469.424,"body":"difference because theirs"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1465.2749999999999,"endTime":1469.424,"body":"was all about success Success"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1469.424,"endTime":1471.8139999999999,"body":"and achievement academically."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1471.819,"endTime":1472.934,"body":"And then in careers."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1473.8039999999999,"endTime":1477.974,"body":"Ours was, you're expected"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1473.8039999999999,"endTime":1477.974,"body":"to go to university and then"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1478.0339999999999,"endTime":1481.154,"body":"get a, a good job until you"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1478.0339999999999,"endTime":1481.154,"body":"have children and then you'd"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1481.154,"endTime":1485.864,"body":"go part-time and that's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1481.154,"endTime":1485.864,"body":"really, it would dwindle off."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1486.674,"endTime":1488.8039999999999,"body":"And the jobs that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1486.674,"endTime":1488.8039999999999,"body":"were expected were"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1488.864,"endTime":1490.656,"body":"much more the typical."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1490.706,"endTime":1493.8619999999999,"body":"Not as in nurses rather"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1490.706,"endTime":1493.8619999999999,"body":"than doctors, but more"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1493.8619999999999,"endTime":1495.062,"body":"things like teachers."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1495.412,"endTime":1497.052,"body":"Those were the sort of"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1495.412,"endTime":1497.052,"body":"things that you were"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1497.8519999999999,"endTime":1498.562,"body":"encouraged to go into."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1499.2669999999998,"endTime":1501.7569999999998,"body":"But anyway, let's go"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1499.2669999999998,"endTime":1501.7569999999998,"body":"into the next one."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1501.7569999999998,"endTime":1503.647,"body":"We could spend a whole episode"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1501.7569999999998,"endTime":1503.647,"body":"talking about that, couldn't"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1503.657,"endTime":1504.157,"body":"we could."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1504.2469999999998,"endTime":1505.447,"body":"And have you seen the time?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1505.656,"endTime":1507.426,"body":"Might have to do an"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1505.656,"endTime":1507.426,"body":"extra long episode today."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1507.808,"endTime":1512.365,"body":"Okay, so the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1507.808,"endTime":1512.365,"body":"next one is don't enjoy."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1513.0649999999998,"endTime":1516.855,"body":"So that's the sort of"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1513.0649999999998,"endTime":1516.855,"body":"message that life is serious."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1517.3049999999998,"endTime":1521.6499999999999,"body":"You you shouldn't enjoy"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1517.3049999999998,"endTime":1521.6499999999999,"body":"yourself, can lead to people"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1521.6499999999999,"endTime":1526.03,"body":"being workaholics because all"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1521.6499999999999,"endTime":1526.03,"body":"they know how to do is work."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1527.281,"endTime":1530.491,"body":"Anything that they do"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1527.281,"endTime":1530.491,"body":"that's for fun has sort"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1530.491,"endTime":1533.568,"body":"of negative connotation"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1530.491,"endTime":1533.568,"body":"and it can lead to says"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1533.568,"endTime":1535.088,"body":"here sexual dysfunction."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1536.018,"endTime":1538.628,"body":"Cause if they're not supposed"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1536.018,"endTime":1538.628,"body":"to enjoy that part of"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1538.628,"endTime":1540.414,"body":"life, that's a problem too."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1540.973,"endTime":1541.123,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1541.123,"endTime":1542.953,"body":"We don't want that running in"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1541.123,"endTime":1542.953,"body":"the background of our mind."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1543.193,"endTime":1543.733,"body":"That's,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1544.318,"endTime":1547.348,"body":"And we probably all"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1544.318,"endTime":1547.348,"body":"know people who we wouldn't"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1547.348,"endTime":1548.4279999999999,"body":"know that about people."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1548.518,"endTime":1551.9679999999998,"body":"Generally speaking, therapists"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1548.518,"endTime":1551.9679999999998,"body":"do, but generally most normal"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1551.973,"endTime":1554.4579999999999,"body":"people dunno what's going on"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1551.973,"endTime":1554.4579999999999,"body":"in other people's sex lives."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1554.463,"endTime":1558.568,"body":"But we know people"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1554.463,"endTime":1558.568,"body":"who struggle unless"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1558.568,"endTime":1559.258,"body":"they're working."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1559.9579999999999,"endTime":1562.306,"body":"So that, that one we can see."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1563.0059999999999,"endTime":1564.626,"body":"The next one is,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1563.0059999999999,"endTime":1564.626,"body":"Don't be close."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1565.326,"endTime":1566.196,"body":"Ah,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1566.2559999999999,"endTime":1568.511,"body":"keep your"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1566.2559999999999,"endTime":1568.511,"body":"distance don't commit."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1568.649,"endTime":1569.489,"body":"Don't be intimate."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1569.906,"endTime":1570.566,"body":"Keep away."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1571.2659999999998,"endTime":1573.186,"body":"I think a lot of"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1571.2659999999998,"endTime":1573.186,"body":"people with trust issues"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1573.696,"endTime":1575.5359999999998,"body":"have got that running in the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1573.696,"endTime":1575.5359999999998,"body":"background of their mind."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1576.2359999999999,"endTime":1580.136,"body":"because I think that would"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1576.2359999999999,"endTime":1580.136,"body":"fall into Don't trust as well."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1580.4959999999999,"endTime":1581.606,"body":"Don't be close."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1581.876,"endTime":1583.046,"body":"So don't let anyone in."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1583.556,"endTime":1583.566,"body":"Why?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1584.336,"endTime":1585.206,"body":"Well, they might hurt you."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1585.2359999999999,"endTime":1586.0159999999998,"body":"They might let you down."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1586.0159999999998,"endTime":1586.946,"body":"They might disappoint you."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1587.646,"endTime":1591.5159999999998,"body":"And seeing the world in such"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1587.646,"endTime":1591.5159999999998,"body":"a black and white, good or"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1591.5159999999998,"endTime":1594.696,"body":"bad, and that's splitting,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1591.5159999999998,"endTime":1594.696,"body":"that's that dichotomous"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1594.701,"endTime":1597.636,"body":"thinking of people are"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1594.701,"endTime":1597.636,"body":"either all good or all bad."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1598.336,"endTime":1601.696,"body":"And I guess there are some"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1598.336,"endTime":1601.696,"body":"introverts who really enjoy."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1602.396,"endTime":1604.7359999999999,"body":"Close knit relationships"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1602.396,"endTime":1604.7359999999999,"body":"and friendships."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1604.796,"endTime":1605.306,"body":"Sure."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1605.366,"endTime":1606.116,"body":"Thrive on that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1606.116,"endTime":1607.076,"body":"Enjoy that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1607.548,"endTime":1609.888,"body":"Doesn't mean that you"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1607.548,"endTime":1609.888,"body":"can't trust people, though."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1610.4279999999999,"endTime":1615.348,"body":"It just means that you"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1610.4279999999999,"endTime":1615.348,"body":"enjoy deeper, closer things."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1615.626,"endTime":1617.7859999999998,"body":"if you're an introvert who"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1615.626,"endTime":1617.7859999999998,"body":"wants that deeper, closer"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1617.7859999999998,"endTime":1620.816,"body":"connection, and you've"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1617.7859999999998,"endTime":1620.816,"body":"got this, Don't Be Close"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1621.446,"endTime":1625.316,"body":"mantra, unconsciously"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1621.446,"endTime":1625.316,"body":"running through who you are."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1625.873,"endTime":1627.763,"body":"That's gonna create a"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1625.873,"endTime":1627.763,"body":"lot of anxiety cuz your"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1627.763,"endTime":1629.8029999999999,"body":"desires aren't gonna"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1627.763,"endTime":1629.8029999999999,"body":"match with your reality."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1630.503,"endTime":1632.723,"body":"But you could easily"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1630.503,"endTime":1632.723,"body":"be an extrovert and have a,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1632.723,"endTime":1636.983,"body":"Don't Be Close as well because"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1632.723,"endTime":1636.983,"body":"the extroversion could be a"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1636.983,"endTime":1639.633,"body":"defense against being close."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1640.3329999999999,"endTime":1640.513,"body":"yeah."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1640.588,"endTime":1643.4779999999998,"body":"next one is somewhat"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1640.588,"endTime":1643.4779999999998,"body":"linked as its don't belong."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1644.1779999999999,"endTime":1644.7379999999998,"body":"Right."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1645.4379999999999,"endTime":1645.788,"body":"Ah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1646.4879999999998,"endTime":1648.293,"body":"clients have brought that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1646.4879999999998,"endTime":1648.293,"body":"in if they've been an"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1648.293,"endTime":1652.5929999999998,"body":"army kid, if they've moved"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1648.293,"endTime":1652.5929999999998,"body":"around a lot, they've gone"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1652.5929999999998,"endTime":1656.883,"body":"from barrack to barrack"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1652.5929999999998,"endTime":1656.883,"body":"and they don't have that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1657.0629999999999,"endTime":1658.923,"body":"You ask them, you know what,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1657.0629999999999,"endTime":1658.923,"body":"you know, where did you grow?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1658.923,"endTime":1660.0629999999999,"body":"Where do you"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1658.923,"endTime":1660.0629999999999,"body":"think of his home?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1660.0629999999999,"endTime":1661.203,"body":"Well, I grew up in Germany."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1661.903,"endTime":1663.1029999999998,"body":"Those six years."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1663.1029999999998,"endTime":1665.623,"body":"And then I was doing that for"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1663.1029999999998,"endTime":1665.623,"body":"six years and then we lived up"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1665.623,"endTime":1667.693,"body":"in Scotland for six years and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1665.623,"endTime":1667.693,"body":"then there was this barrack"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1667.693,"endTime":1669.973,"body":"that Barrack, and this is"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1667.693,"endTime":1669.973,"body":"where I am right now when I've"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1670.213,"endTime":1672.373,"body":"got a job and met somebody."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1672.373,"endTime":1673.543,"body":"So this is home now?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1674.473,"endTime":1676.0929999999998,"body":"No, I don't feel like"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1674.473,"endTime":1676.0929999999998,"body":"I belong here either."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1676.483,"endTime":1676.873,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1676.873,"endTime":1677.8629999999998,"body":"Don't belong."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1678.5629999999999,"endTime":1682.403,"body":"That's, that's a nasty side"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1678.5629999999999,"endTime":1682.403,"body":"effect, unfortunately, of"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1682.5529999999999,"endTime":1685.3129999999999,"body":"just having that traveling,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1682.5529999999999,"endTime":1685.3129999999999,"body":"moving around lifestyle"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1685.793,"endTime":1686.8129999999999,"body":"amongst other things."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1687.233,"endTime":1688.443,"body":"What else could cause that?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1688.933,"endTime":1692.2669999999998,"body":"I suppose it could be a"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1688.933,"endTime":1692.2669999999998,"body":"result of some of the others."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1692.2669999999998,"endTime":1696.7849999999999,"body":"So if, if parents were"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1692.2669999999998,"endTime":1696.7849999999999,"body":"very cold and saying,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1696.995,"endTime":1700.2949999999998,"body":"Don't Be Close and Don't"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1696.995,"endTime":1700.2949999999998,"body":"exist, or any of the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1700.2949999999998,"endTime":1701.495,"body":"others, then they could."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1702.365,"endTime":1704.9299999999998,"body":"Child will get a"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1702.365,"endTime":1704.9299999999998,"body":"feeling of don't belong."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1705.47,"endTime":1707.48,"body":"But it's also, it's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1705.47,"endTime":1707.48,"body":"a not safe to belong."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1707.837,"endTime":1709.667,"body":"And that ties in with"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1707.837,"endTime":1709.667,"body":"the trust, doesn't it?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1709.697,"endTime":1712.397,"body":"If you've belonged to a"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1709.697,"endTime":1712.397,"body":"group and been let down"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1712.397,"endTime":1716.087,"body":"or thrown out of a group,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1712.397,"endTime":1716.087,"body":"then having a Don't Belong"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1716.687,"endTime":1719.2369999999999,"body":"injunction would be safer."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1720.137,"endTime":1720.557,"body":"Hmm."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1720.9569999999999,"endTime":1722.367,"body":"Then we got"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1720.9569999999999,"endTime":1722.367,"body":"a contrasting one."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1722.417,"endTime":1723.369,"body":"Don't be separate."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1723.7859999999998,"endTime":1724.086,"body":"Ah."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1724.8509999999999,"endTime":1729.6009999999999,"body":"So, yeah, if, if"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1724.8509999999999,"endTime":1729.6009999999999,"body":"the message is you cannot"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1729.6309999999999,"endTime":1735.4109999999998,"body":"exist on your own, you need"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1729.6309999999999,"endTime":1735.4109999999998,"body":"me stroke us, stroke your"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1735.4109999999998,"endTime":1740.481,"body":"family, society, whatever,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1735.4109999999998,"endTime":1740.481,"body":"you cannot be on your own."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1741.181,"endTime":1741.691,"body":"Mm hmm."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1742.051,"endTime":1747.096,"body":"That reminds me of people I"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1742.051,"endTime":1747.096,"body":"know well from when I was a"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1747.096,"endTime":1752.096,"body":"child, distant, very distant"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1747.096,"endTime":1752.096,"body":"family, people who, when their"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1752.2759999999998,"endTime":1756.596,"body":"child went to university,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1752.2759999999998,"endTime":1756.596,"body":"they insisted that he went to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1757.436,"endTime":1763.146,"body":"university in the hometown so"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1757.436,"endTime":1763.146,"body":"that he stayed at home didn't,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1763.4859999999999,"endTime":1766.406,"body":"go and live independently."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1766.966,"endTime":1771.039,"body":"Whereas in my family,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1766.966,"endTime":1771.039,"body":"it wasn't sort of get"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1771.039,"endTime":1772.149,"body":"as far away as you can."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1772.509,"endTime":1778.4489999999998,"body":"It was that part of going to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1772.509,"endTime":1778.4489999999998,"body":"university was to separate"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1778.509,"endTime":1781.899,"body":"and to get your own life"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1778.509,"endTime":1781.899,"body":"and to live independently."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1781.9289999999999,"endTime":1785.619,"body":"Because my parents knew"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1781.9289999999999,"endTime":1785.619,"body":"that's going to be good."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1786.274,"endTime":1787.384,"body":"It's all good."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1787.414,"endTime":1790.0539999999999,"body":"You can still, I mean then,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1787.414,"endTime":1790.0539999999999,"body":"then it was go and use a"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1790.0539999999999,"endTime":1791.494,"body":"call box to phone home."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1792.288,"endTime":1792.7079999999999,"body":"And"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1792.8229999999999,"endTime":1795.398,"body":"no mobile phones,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1792.8229999999999,"endTime":1795.398,"body":"but we were still connected."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1795.398,"endTime":1795.4679999999998,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1796.0,"endTime":1800.1399999999999,"body":"As a parent, it is"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1796.0,"endTime":1800.1399999999999,"body":"scary to think of your"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1800.1399999999999,"endTime":1801.1,"body":"children growing up."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1801.105,"endTime":1803.2,"body":"I mean, my son's just"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1801.105,"endTime":1803.2,"body":"turned 18 and he's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1803.2,"endTime":1805.57,"body":"had a few university"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1803.2,"endTime":1805.57,"body":"offers now actually."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1805.57,"endTime":1807.1599999999999,"body":"Cause he's, he'll"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1805.57,"endTime":1807.1599999999999,"body":"be going to Uni next"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1807.1599999999999,"endTime":1808.12,"body":"year if he's gonna go."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1808.6299999999999,"endTime":1811.3,"body":"And he's had, he's had"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1808.6299999999999,"endTime":1811.3,"body":"all these offers and some"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1811.3,"endTime":1814.73,"body":"of them are local-ish and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1811.3,"endTime":1814.73,"body":"some are literally the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1814.73,"endTime":1815.57,"body":"other side of the country."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1815.57,"endTime":1817.01,"body":"They're as far away"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1815.57,"endTime":1817.01,"body":"as you can get."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1817.955,"endTime":1820.0249999999999,"body":"And I know that both me and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1817.955,"endTime":1820.0249999999999,"body":"my wife are gonna struggle."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1820.2949999999998,"endTime":1820.955,"body":"Of course we are."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1821.3149999999998,"endTime":1823.355,"body":"He's been with"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1821.3149999999998,"endTime":1823.355,"body":"us for 18 years."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1823.415,"endTime":1827.595,"body":"You know, it, it's close"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1823.415,"endTime":1827.595,"body":"to half of our life almost."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1828.615,"endTime":1831.7649999999999,"body":"It's gonna be horrible and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1828.615,"endTime":1831.7649999999999,"body":"we've gotta deal with that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1831.825,"endTime":1836.145,"body":"And because we are close"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1831.825,"endTime":1836.145,"body":"to Coventry and, and he"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1836.145,"endTime":1838.0649999999998,"body":"did have a look around"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1836.145,"endTime":1838.0649999999998,"body":"Coventry University and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1838.07,"endTime":1840.075,"body":"went, it's a bit close"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1838.07,"endTime":1840.075,"body":"to home though, isn't."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1841.0649999999998,"endTime":1843.415,"body":"and I thought, yeah, exactly."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1843.415,"endTime":1845.695,"body":"It's a bit close to, oh, okay,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1843.415,"endTime":1845.695,"body":"it's a bit close to home."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1845.695,"endTime":1846.7749999999999,"body":"You probably don't"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1845.695,"endTime":1846.7749999999999,"body":"want to go here."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1846.8049999999998,"endTime":1847.7649999999999,"body":"Okay, fine."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1848.335,"endTime":1849.5649999999998,"body":"And I know he is"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1848.335,"endTime":1849.5649999999998,"body":"not gonna go there."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1849.5649999999998,"endTime":1852.475,"body":"I know for a fact cuz he"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1849.5649999999998,"endTime":1852.475,"body":"specifically said, oh, I"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1852.48,"endTime":1854.245,"body":"want the, he's actually"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1852.48,"endTime":1854.245,"body":"used those phrase, that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1854.245,"endTime":1856.495,"body":"phrase, I want the university"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1854.245,"endTime":1856.495,"body":"experience, you know, I"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1856.495,"endTime":1857.455,"body":"want to go and do stuff."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1857.46,"endTime":1859.585,"body":"Even if I've gotta do a"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1857.46,"endTime":1859.585,"body":"foundation year and spend"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1859.585,"endTime":1861.325,"body":"more money and spend"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1859.585,"endTime":1861.325,"body":"more time, don't care."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1861.325,"endTime":1862.225,"body":"I wanna get away."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1862.2849999999999,"endTime":1865.465,"body":"It's like, oh my"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1862.2849999999999,"endTime":1865.465,"body":"boy , he wants to go."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1866.165,"endTime":1868.723,"body":"And For most parents, that's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1866.165,"endTime":1868.723,"body":"a hard thing, but for some"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1868.723,"endTime":1870.463,"body":"it's almost impossible."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1871.163,"endTime":1873.623,"body":"And that when it's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1871.163,"endTime":1873.623,"body":"put onto the child, it's,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1873.683,"endTime":1875.643,"body":"that's when it's, that's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1873.683,"endTime":1875.643,"body":"when it's the problem."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1876.4879999999998,"endTime":1878.8909999999998,"body":"I remember Jack when"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1876.4879999999998,"endTime":1878.8909999999998,"body":"he was in the sixth"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1878.8909999999998,"endTime":1882.191,"body":"form, he was considering"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1878.8909999999998,"endTime":1882.191,"body":"trying to get a golf"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1882.191,"endTime":1883.751,"body":"scholarship to the states."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1884.231,"endTime":1887.171,"body":"It didn't ever get even"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1884.231,"endTime":1887.171,"body":"close to coming off,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1887.171,"endTime":1889.301,"body":"but he did a gap year"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1887.171,"endTime":1889.301,"body":"and went to Australia."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1889.301,"endTime":1891.821,"body":"And he, he said at one"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1889.301,"endTime":1891.821,"body":"point it was just, I want"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1891.821,"endTime":1892.9109999999998,"body":"to be anywhere but here."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1893.261,"endTime":1895.3509999999999,"body":"And that was fine."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1895.771,"endTime":1895.8909999999998,"body":"I"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1896.1309999999999,"endTime":1896.4009999999998,"body":"remember that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1896.4009999999998,"endTime":1897.481,"body":"Did he stop with Alan"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1898.021,"endTime":1898.4109999999998,"body":"he did."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1898.4109999999998,"endTime":1899.521,"body":"He he stayed with Alan."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1899.551,"endTime":1899.821,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1899.981,"endTime":1902.893,"body":"He was, it, it wasn't"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1899.981,"endTime":1902.893,"body":"said in any way that was."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1903.243,"endTime":1904.783,"body":"In, in anyway negative."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1904.8429999999998,"endTime":1906.0729999999999,"body":"I understood it completely."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1906.3899999999999,"endTime":1908.85,"body":"So he went to Australia"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1906.3899999999999,"endTime":1908.85,"body":"and it didn't really"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1908.85,"endTime":1911.193,"body":"work out very well for"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1908.85,"endTime":1911.193,"body":"various reasons, which"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1911.193,"endTime":1912.123,"body":"you don't need to go into."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1912.128,"endTime":1914.4959999999999,"body":"But again, it sort of was"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1912.128,"endTime":1914.4959999999999,"body":"just didn't work out, but"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1914.4959999999999,"endTime":1915.666,"body":"nothing particularly negative."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1916.116,"endTime":1917.466,"body":"And he just wanted"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1916.116,"endTime":1917.466,"body":"to come home"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1917.866,"endTime":1917.9859999999999,"body":"Hmm."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1918.011,"endTime":1921.3909999999998,"body":"and he came"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1918.011,"endTime":1921.3909999999998,"body":"home early and he was"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1921.3909999999998,"endTime":1922.741,"body":"so happy to be home."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1923.282,"endTime":1925.412,"body":"A month of coming home,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1923.282,"endTime":1925.412,"body":"he met Ellie, who he's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1925.5919999999999,"endTime":1926.792,"body":"going to marry next year."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1926.9489999999998,"endTime":1929.398,"body":"and he went off to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1926.9489999999998,"endTime":1929.398,"body":"university a distance away"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1929.908,"endTime":1931.348,"body":"and everything was alright."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1931.348,"endTime":1934.6779999999999,"body":"But he needed that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1931.348,"endTime":1934.6779999999999,"body":"getaway to learn he wanted"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1935.128,"endTime":1936.868,"body":"to stay, to be close."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1937.138,"endTime":1937.8429999999998,"body":"Anyway,  right."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1937.8429999999998,"endTime":1938.5929999999998,"body":"What's the next one?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1939.01,"endTime":1940.27,"body":"Don't be well"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1940.97,"endTime":1941.1499999999999,"body":"Oh,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1941.8999999999999,"endTime":1942.59,"body":"or sane."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1943.1129999999998,"endTime":1946.541,"body":"so this will be parents"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1943.1129999999998,"endTime":1946.541,"body":"who like to look after"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1946.662,"endTime":1950.2279999999998,"body":"their child or children"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1946.662,"endTime":1950.2279999999998,"body":"and keep them under"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1950.2279999999998,"endTime":1951.158,"body":"control, I would guess."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1952.078,"endTime":1953.308,"body":"yes."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1953.518,"endTime":1956.998,"body":"They would've been rewarded"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1953.518,"endTime":1956.998,"body":"if they were unwell."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1957.6979999999999,"endTime":1960.248,"body":"And the brain learns."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1960.4579999999999,"endTime":1961.088,"body":"That feels good."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1961.088,"endTime":1961.6879999999999,"body":"Do it again."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1961.9279999999999,"endTime":1962.648,"body":"That feels good."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1962.648,"endTime":1963.308,"body":"Do it again."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1963.998,"endTime":1968.018,"body":"And we know that go and listen"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1963.998,"endTime":1968.018,"body":"to our placebo effect episode"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1968.018,"endTime":1968.9779999999998,"body":"that we did the other week."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1968.9779999999998,"endTime":1971.798,"body":"If you want to, the brain"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1968.9779999999998,"endTime":1971.798,"body":"makes things happen."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1972.548,"endTime":1975.518,"body":"Psychosomatic illnesses"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1972.548,"endTime":1975.518,"body":"are just as real as"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1975.518,"endTime":1977.288,"body":"somatic illnesses."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1978.128,"endTime":1982.508,"body":"The brain can bring you"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1978.128,"endTime":1982.508,"body":"out in hives it can make"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1982.508,"endTime":1984.158,"body":"your legs stop working."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1984.158,"endTime":1985.6879999999999,"body":"It can make you"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1985.8129999999999,"endTime":1985.8139999999999,"body":"you"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1985.973,"endTime":1986.213,"body":"blind."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1986.2279999999998,"endTime":1986.9479999999999,"body":"out of bed."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1987.338,"endTime":1988.4779999999998,"body":"It can make you blind."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1988.808,"endTime":1991.088,"body":"Yes, absolutely can."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1991.788,"endTime":1991.908,"body":"And"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1991.908,"endTime":1993.378,"body":"if you've got that message,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1993.598,"endTime":1995.668,"body":"that, that life"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1993.598,"endTime":1995.668,"body":"is better if you're not."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1996.521,"endTime":1999.5339999999999,"body":"Then we've got two that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1996.521,"endTime":1999.5339999999999,"body":"are related which there"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1999.539,"endTime":2001.214,"body":"is the last one, but we've"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1999.539,"endTime":2001.214,"body":"actually really covered,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2001.2189999999998,"endTime":2002.444,"body":"which is don't trust."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2002.556,"endTime":2003.7859999999998,"body":"So we've covered that."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2003.966,"endTime":2006.936,"body":"So the last two, are Don't"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2003.966,"endTime":2006.936,"body":"Think, and Don't Feel."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2007.35,"endTime":2008.37,"body":"Ah,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2008.937,"endTime":2010.317,"body":"So don't think."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2011.0169999999998,"endTime":2013.297,"body":"That again is a sort of"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2011.0169999999998,"endTime":2013.297,"body":"putting down, isn't it?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2013.297,"endTime":2017.057,"body":"It's a it, well, is"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2013.297,"endTime":2017.057,"body":"it, is it a safety one?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2017.5169999999998,"endTime":2020.7279999999998,"body":"It's better not to think or"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2017.5169999999998,"endTime":2020.7279999999998,"body":"is it that it's better if"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2020.733,"endTime":2021.9379999999999,"body":"you let me do the thinking."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2022.288,"endTime":2023.9679999999998,"body":"The thing is,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2022.288,"endTime":2023.9679999999998,"body":"children will question"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2023.9679999999998,"endTime":2026.638,"body":"everything if there's,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2023.9679999999998,"endTime":2026.638,"body":"apart from yes and no."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2027.403,"endTime":2028.243,"body":"Mama, dada."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2029.173,"endTime":2031.0729999999999,"body":"One of the first things"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2029.173,"endTime":2031.0729999999999,"body":"that a child will"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2031.0729999999999,"endTime":2032.243,"body":"say the most is why?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2032.633,"endTime":2033.023,"body":"Why?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2033.383,"endTime":2033.773,"body":"Why?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2034.923,"endTime":2036.633,"body":"And of course that's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2034.923,"endTime":2036.633,"body":"gonna get tiring."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2036.693,"endTime":2038.763,"body":"Eventually you just"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2036.693,"endTime":2038.763,"body":"go because it just is."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2038.763,"endTime":2039.783,"body":"That's why."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2040.0829999999999,"endTime":2041.163,"body":"Oh, because I say so"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2042.003,"endTime":2043.3229999999999,"body":"because I say so"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2044.193,"endTime":2045.393,"body":"we've all be, we've all"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2045.483,"endTime":2045.6029999999998,"body":"a"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2045.783,"endTime":2047.546,"body":"had to, we've"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2045.783,"endTime":2047.546,"body":"all had to resort to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2047.546,"endTime":2048.8360000000002,"body":"that at some point."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2049.016,"endTime":2049.496,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2050.0660000000003,"endTime":2050.606,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2051.02,"endTime":2053.9,"body":"But if more often than not,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2051.02,"endTime":2053.9,"body":"we can say, and this is"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2053.9,"endTime":2058.67,"body":"why, then the child doesn't"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2053.9,"endTime":2058.67,"body":"learn that they shouldn't"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2059.09,"endTime":2061.07,"body":"be questioning stuff."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2061.12,"endTime":2062.92,"body":"The more we question,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2061.12,"endTime":2062.92,"body":"the more we learn."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2062.92,"endTime":2064.69,"body":"If we don't question"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2062.92,"endTime":2064.69,"body":"things, we don't learn"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2064.69,"endTime":2067.69,"body":"to think critically and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2064.69,"endTime":2067.69,"body":"think outside of the box"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2067.69,"endTime":2069.1,"body":"and do different things."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2069.1,"endTime":2071.23,"body":"Otherwise, we'd still"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2069.1,"endTime":2071.23,"body":"be in the stone age."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2071.4700000000003,"endTime":2073.12,"body":"Well, this is what we've"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2071.4700000000003,"endTime":2073.12,"body":"always done around here."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2073.945,"endTime":2077.245,"body":"And if we just react to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2073.945,"endTime":2077.245,"body":"things rather than think and"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2077.245,"endTime":2083.545,"body":"plan and wonder and consider,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2077.245,"endTime":2083.545,"body":"then well, it's limiting."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2084.445,"endTime":2087.5150000000003,"body":"And then of course the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2084.445,"endTime":2087.5150000000003,"body":"don't feel on the list."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2087.5150000000003,"endTime":2089.7050000000004,"body":"It says that's a group"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2087.5150000000003,"endTime":2089.7050000000004,"body":"of injunctions really."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2089.71,"endTime":2093.1730000000002,"body":"But it's the it's the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2089.71,"endTime":2093.1730000000002,"body":"confusion that there is in"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2093.1730000000002,"endTime":2098.3030000000003,"body":"society about feeling and"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2093.1730000000002,"endTime":2098.3030000000003,"body":"expressing feelings when"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2098.3030000000003,"endTime":2101.4030000000002,"body":"it says big boys don't"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2098.3030000000003,"endTime":2101.4030000000002,"body":"cry, which applies to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2101.4080000000004,"endTime":2102.5130000000004,"body":"girls as well, of course,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2103.623,"endTime":2103.953,"body":"Oh yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2104.463,"endTime":2105.603,"body":"Good girls don't get angry."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2106.3230000000003,"endTime":2109.8830000000003,"body":"a little child who's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2106.3230000000003,"endTime":2109.8830000000003,"body":"told, let's say they're"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2110.273,"endTime":2113.333,"body":"screaming in a restaurant"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2110.273,"endTime":2113.333,"body":"cuz they haven't got"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2113.333,"endTime":2114.773,"body":"their chicken nuggets."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2115.2630000000004,"endTime":2116.146,"body":"And they're told."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2116.28,"endTime":2121.3500000000004,"body":"To stop it, then that child is"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2116.28,"endTime":2121.3500000000004,"body":"not gonna have the wherewithal"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2121.3500000000004,"endTime":2123.1200000000003,"body":"to go, oh, I understand."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2123.3900000000003,"endTime":2126.51,"body":"It's okay to be disappointed"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2123.3900000000003,"endTime":2126.51,"body":"that I haven't got my"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2126.51,"endTime":2129.9900000000002,"body":"chicken nuggets, but it's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2126.51,"endTime":2129.9900000000002,"body":"not okay to scream about"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2129.9900000000002,"endTime":2131.5800000000004,"body":"it in the restaurant."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2132.06,"endTime":2134.1000000000004,"body":"They're not gonna be able to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2132.06,"endTime":2134.1000000000004,"body":"differentiate that they're"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2134.105,"endTime":2135.15,"body":"gonna hear the message."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2135.8700000000003,"endTime":2138.6000000000004,"body":"I shouldn't feel disappointed."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2138.75,"endTime":2140.34,"body":"That's unacceptable."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2140.4300000000003,"endTime":2144.108,"body":"So, I'm not allowed to do"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2140.4300000000003,"endTime":2144.108,"body":"that, so I won't feel it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2144.378,"endTime":2145.6980000000003,"body":"I'll"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2144.378,"endTime":2145.6980000000003,"body":"squash that down."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2146.088,"endTime":2146.478,"body":"Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2146.9280000000003,"endTime":2147.348,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2148.0480000000002,"endTime":2149.7940000000003,"body":"And that's, that's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2148.0480000000002,"endTime":2149.7940000000003,"body":"not healthy."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2150.589,"endTime":2151.639,"body":"It's getting better."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2151.699,"endTime":2154.909,"body":"You know, people are in our"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2151.699,"endTime":2154.909,"body":"generation, they are sharing"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2154.909,"endTime":2158.2690000000002,"body":"more information about, it's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2154.909,"endTime":2158.2690000000002,"body":"good to talk, it's good to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2158.2740000000003,"endTime":2160.339,"body":"express things, get it out."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2160.739,"endTime":2162.089,"body":"let's feel all of this."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2162.089,"endTime":2166.319,"body":"But there is still a pushback"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2162.089,"endTime":2166.319,"body":"for everyone that does that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2166.319,"endTime":2168.239,"body":"There's another person"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2166.319,"endTime":2168.239,"body":"who says, but that means"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2168.244,"endTime":2170.549,"body":"me changing who I am."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2170.759,"endTime":2172.409,"body":"No one's gonna make"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2170.759,"endTime":2172.409,"body":"me change who I am."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2172.719,"endTime":2174.929,"body":"And then they dig down"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2172.719,"endTime":2174.929,"body":"into who they were."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2175.906,"endTime":2177.951,"body":"Like, I so often say"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2175.906,"endTime":2177.951,"body":"nothing's a problem"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2177.951,"endTime":2179.181,"body":"unless it causes problems."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2179.541,"endTime":2181.8810000000003,"body":"And for that other person"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2179.541,"endTime":2181.8810000000003,"body":"might not be causing them a"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2181.8810000000003,"endTime":2184.701,"body":"problem, except they're always"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2181.8810000000003,"endTime":2184.701,"body":"angry because the world seems"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2184.706,"endTime":2185.751,"body":"to be changing around them."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2186.501,"endTime":2189.681,"body":"And they'll do things to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2186.501,"endTime":2189.681,"body":"try and conserve everything."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2189.681,"endTime":2190.971,"body":"Cuz change is scary."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2191.451,"endTime":2192.9210000000003,"body":"Well, no change is safe."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2193.621,"endTime":2195.6310000000003,"body":"But yeah, I suppose it is"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2193.621,"endTime":2195.6310000000003,"body":"scary, but it's still safe."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2195.6310000000003,"endTime":2197.8810000000003,"body":"Doesn't mean it just,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2195.6310000000003,"endTime":2197.8810000000003,"body":"cuz it's scary doesn't"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2197.8810000000003,"endTime":2198.851,"body":"mean it's not safe."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2199.0080000000003,"endTime":2201.308,"body":"I often think it's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2199.0080000000003,"endTime":2201.308,"body":"useful to consider that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2202.0080000000003,"endTime":2204.318,"body":"we could name a hundred"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2202.0080000000003,"endTime":2204.318,"body":"different emotions."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2204.929,"endTime":2208.002,"body":"Probably narrow that down into"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2204.929,"endTime":2208.002,"body":"couple of dozen categories."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2208.3520000000003,"endTime":2213.695,"body":"And we are all feeling all of"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2208.3520000000003,"endTime":2213.695,"body":"them on a, let's say a scale"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2213.695,"endTime":2216.0350000000003,"body":"of one to 10 all the time."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2216.545,"endTime":2221.6150000000002,"body":"So right now my anger is that,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2216.545,"endTime":2221.6150000000002,"body":"well, let's say zero to 10,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2221.9750000000004,"endTime":2224.465,"body":"but it's still, you know, it's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2221.9750000000004,"endTime":2224.465,"body":"probably, I could think of"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2224.465,"endTime":2227.375,"body":"something if I wanted to that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2224.465,"endTime":2227.375,"body":"would get it to about a one."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2228.0750000000003,"endTime":2230.7450000000003,"body":"Like the damage that's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2228.0750000000003,"endTime":2230.7450000000003,"body":"been done to my cupboard."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2231.1200000000003,"endTime":2234.683,"body":"So we are always somewhere"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2231.1200000000003,"endTime":2234.683,"body":"on a scale for all of those"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2234.683,"endTime":2236.3030000000003,"body":"emotions all the time."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2237.2630000000004,"endTime":2240.5930000000003,"body":"It's when they come to the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2237.2630000000004,"endTime":2240.5930000000003,"body":"higher levels that being"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2240.5930000000003,"endTime":2245.473,"body":"aware of them is really useful"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2240.5930000000003,"endTime":2245.473,"body":"because that's informative."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2245.873,"endTime":2249.753,"body":"But then we have a separate"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2245.873,"endTime":2249.753,"body":"scale of expression of them."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2250.203,"endTime":2252.0330000000004,"body":"Which don't have"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2250.203,"endTime":2252.0330000000004,"body":"to tally at all."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2252.3030000000003,"endTime":2256.833,"body":"You could be 10 on an"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2252.3030000000003,"endTime":2256.833,"body":"anger scale and zero"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2256.838,"endTime":2258.693,"body":"on expression of it."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2259.3230000000003,"endTime":2263.643,"body":"If that is what you feel is"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2259.3230000000003,"endTime":2263.643,"body":"appropriate at that time."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2264.3030000000003,"endTime":2267.1530000000002,"body":"You could also have a, a"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2264.3030000000003,"endTime":2267.1530000000002,"body":"sort of one or two on an"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2267.1530000000002,"endTime":2270.333,"body":"anger scale and express"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2267.1530000000002,"endTime":2270.333,"body":"it at a 10 if that's what"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2270.333,"endTime":2271.563,"body":"you felt was appropriate."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2272.418,"endTime":2273.828,"body":"and we've all"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2272.418,"endTime":2273.828,"body":"met people like that."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2273.993,"endTime":2276.309,"body":"Yeah, and it"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2273.993,"endTime":2276.309,"body":"might be appropriate at,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2276.3140000000003,"endTime":2279.166,"body":"at particular times it"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2276.3140000000003,"endTime":2279.166,"body":"might have more impact."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2279.2110000000002,"endTime":2283.5910000000003,"body":"So any of these things, so"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2279.2110000000002,"endTime":2283.5910000000003,"body":"if we're doing that with,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2283.7110000000002,"endTime":2287.641,"body":"let's say, 20 different"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2283.7110000000002,"endTime":2287.641,"body":"emotions all the time, we're"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2288.061,"endTime":2292.498,"body":"weighing up A, how we are"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2288.061,"endTime":2292.498,"body":"feeling, where we are on those"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2293.2180000000003,"endTime":2296.918,"body":"continua for each one and"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2293.2180000000003,"endTime":2296.918,"body":"what we are choosing to do in"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2296.918,"endTime":2298.328,"body":"terms of expression of them."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2298.328,"endTime":2299.8880000000004,"body":"It's a jolly,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2298.328,"endTime":2299.8880000000004,"body":"complicated thing."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2300.108,"endTime":2300.498,"body":"Mm."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2300.7380000000003,"endTime":2301.098,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2301.6980000000003,"endTime":2304.878,"body":"this would be an episode, I"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2301.6980000000003,"endTime":2304.878,"body":"think to re-listen to from"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2304.878,"endTime":2307.1710000000003,"body":"time to time because there's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2304.878,"endTime":2307.1710000000003,"body":"a lot in here to take in."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2308.1310000000003,"endTime":2309.081,"body":"There really is."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2309.9010000000003,"endTime":2311.4010000000003,"body":"And people do"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2309.9010000000003,"endTime":2311.4010000000003,"body":"re-listen to podcasts."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2311.4010000000003,"endTime":2312.782,"body":"They, say that to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2311.4010000000003,"endTime":2312.782,"body":"me all the time."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2312.782,"endTime":2315.742,"body":"You know, somebody said to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2312.782,"endTime":2315.742,"body":"me last week, I mean, an"},{"speaker":"episode came out at 6","startTime":2315.742,"endTime":2317.902,"body":"00"},{"speaker":"episode came out at 6","startTime":2315.742,"endTime":2317.902,"body":"AM I got a message at eight"},{"speaker":"episode came out at 6","startTime":2317.902,"endTime":2319.732,"body":"o'clock that said, I've"},{"speaker":"episode came out at 6","startTime":2317.902,"endTime":2319.732,"body":"listened to this twice today."},{"speaker":"episode came out at 6","startTime":2320.0460000000003,"endTime":2322.326,"body":"Already . Wow."},{"speaker":"episode came out at 6","startTime":2322.656,"endTime":2324.456,"body":"Because, oh, that, that"},{"speaker":"episode came out at 6","startTime":2322.656,"endTime":2324.456,"body":"meant something to me."},{"speaker":"episode came out at 6","startTime":2324.456,"endTime":2326.376,"body":"I'm gonna go back and listen"},{"speaker":"episode came out at 6","startTime":2324.456,"endTime":2326.376,"body":"to that and I think this"},{"speaker":"episode came out at 6","startTime":2326.376,"endTime":2328.4280000000003,"body":"is gonna be one of those"},{"speaker":"episode came out at 6","startTime":2326.376,"endTime":2328.4280000000003,"body":"episodes cuz there's a lot"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2328.502,"endTime":2329.222,"body":"there's a lot here."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2329.781,"endTime":2331.589,"body":"it'd be really"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2329.781,"endTime":2331.589,"body":"useful to get your head around"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2331.589,"endTime":2332.569,"body":"it really, really would."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2333.039,"endTime":2336.549,"body":"Well, an extra long"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2333.039,"endTime":2336.549,"body":"episode today, Fiona."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2336.6090000000004,"endTime":2338.739,"body":"I think we need you to do"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2336.6090000000004,"endTime":2338.739,"body":"that today and that's okay"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2339.069,"endTime":2339.9990000000003,"body":"from time to time."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2340.059,"endTime":2340.869,"body":"absolutely is"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2341.1690000000003,"endTime":2343.1090000000004,"body":"Do continue to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2341.1690000000003,"endTime":2343.1090000000004,"body":"send us in some questions."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2343.539,"endTime":2346.059,"body":"Give us some prompts of things"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2343.539,"endTime":2346.059,"body":"to talk about, not, by the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2346.059,"endTime":2349.42,"body":"sound of things, we need much"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2346.059,"endTime":2349.42,"body":"prompting, but it is always"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2349.42,"endTime":2351.61,"body":"nice to hear from you and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2349.42,"endTime":2351.61,"body":"we do like to tailor make"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2351.61,"endTime":2352.84,"body":"these episodes where we can."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2352.84,"endTime":2355.81,"body":"So link is in the show notes"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2352.84,"endTime":2355.81,"body":"to a form on our website"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2355.84,"endTime":2358.09,"body":"where you can let us know what"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2355.84,"endTime":2358.09,"body":"you're thinking and feeling"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2358.849,"endTime":2361.039,"body":"and some feedback from many"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2358.849,"endTime":2361.039,"body":"of these episodes as well."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2361.039,"endTime":2361.9990000000003,"body":"Happy to hear it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2362.0040000000004,"endTime":2365.4410000000003,"body":"Right, gonna love you and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2362.0040000000004,"endTime":2365.4410000000003,"body":"leave you have super duper"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2365.4410000000003,"endTime":2368.1110000000003,"body":"week if you need anything,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2365.4410000000003,"endTime":2368.1110000000003,"body":"you know where we are."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2368.471,"endTime":2369.491,"body":"See you again soon."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":2369.5510000000004,"endTime":2370.3210000000004,"body":"Bye for now."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":2371.021,"endTime":2371.4410000000003,"body":"Bye."}]}