{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":39.724000000000004,"endTime":40.624,"body":"Greetings to you."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":40.624,"endTime":42.094,"body":"You absolute beauty."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":42.424,"endTime":44.914,"body":"This is the Therapy"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":42.424,"endTime":44.914,"body":"Natters podcast series."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":45.153999999999996,"endTime":47.944,"body":"The podcast series where"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":45.153999999999996,"endTime":47.944,"body":"myself, Richard Nicholls and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":47.944,"endTime":51.694,"body":"fellow psychotherapist Fiona"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":47.944,"endTime":51.694,"body":"Biddle sit down and natter"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":51.694,"endTime":54.513999999999996,"body":"about something therapy"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":51.694,"endTime":54.513999999999996,"body":"related that hopefully you"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":54.513999999999996,"endTime":56.674,"body":"want to hear us natter about."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":57.304,"endTime":59.172,"body":"It's  coming up to New Year."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":59.492999999999995,"endTime":61.293,"body":"We are recording this just"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":59.492999999999995,"endTime":61.293,"body":"before Christmas, aren't we?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":61.323,"endTime":61.803,"body":"Obviously."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":62.163000000000004,"endTime":65.667,"body":"But this is gonna go out just"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":62.163000000000004,"endTime":65.667,"body":"after Christmas, in between"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":65.667,"endTime":67.887,"body":"that weird week where no one"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":65.667,"endTime":67.887,"body":"really knows what day it is."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":67.887,"endTime":71.072,"body":"Well, hey, it's Wednesday cuz"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":67.887,"endTime":71.072,"body":"that's when this comes out."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":71.697,"endTime":72.99199999999999,"body":"I hope you're doing"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":71.697,"endTime":72.99199999999999,"body":"well everybody."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":73.112,"endTime":75.78200000000001,"body":"How are you Fiona, at the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":73.112,"endTime":75.78200000000001,"body":"minute cuz it's not, you know,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":75.812,"endTime":77.462,"body":"you know we're in a time warp"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":75.812,"endTime":77.462,"body":"at the minute, aren't we?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":77.94200000000001,"endTime":79.712,"body":"It's a funny thing,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":77.94200000000001,"endTime":79.712,"body":"isn't it, that before"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":79.712,"endTime":82.382,"body":"Christmas it feels like"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":79.712,"endTime":82.382,"body":"Christmas is coming."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":82.382,"endTime":84.899,"body":"It's coming, and then, it's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":82.382,"endTime":84.899,"body":"taking ages to get here"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":84.899,"endTime":86.489,"body":"and it's such a big thing."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":86.489,"endTime":87.809,"body":"And then it's, oh, it's gone."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":88.07900000000001,"endTime":90.959,"body":"And yeah, then you've got,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":88.07900000000001,"endTime":90.959,"body":"oh, but then there's this"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":90.959,"endTime":93.569,"body":"new year thing coming up and"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":90.959,"endTime":93.569,"body":"we've got to deal with that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":93.57400000000001,"endTime":96.05699999999999,"body":"bit and then get back to life."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":96.05699999999999,"endTime":97.257,"body":"It's very strange, isn't it?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":97.257,"endTime":99.957,"body":"That how the, the thing"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":97.257,"endTime":99.957,"body":"works, that it's all"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":99.957,"endTime":105.406,"body":"together in one, one time"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":99.957,"endTime":105.406,"body":"for us in our culture."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":105.73599999999999,"endTime":108.79599999999999,"body":"Many people"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":105.73599999999999,"endTime":108.79599999999999,"body":"will say, on social media"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":108.79599999999999,"endTime":111.346,"body":"today, I don't even know"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":108.79599999999999,"endTime":111.346,"body":"what day it is today."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":111.42599999999999,"endTime":112.376,"body":"Have we gotta"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":111.42599999999999,"endTime":112.376,"body":"put the bins out."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":112.376,"endTime":113.42599999999999,"body":"I dunno what day it is."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":113.99199999999999,"endTime":116.572,"body":"And yeah, it's because our"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":113.99199999999999,"endTime":116.572,"body":"routine has changed and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":116.572,"endTime":119.732,"body":"when routines change, when"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":116.572,"endTime":119.732,"body":"something that's normally"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":120.232,"endTime":124.072,"body":"as it has been for as long"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":120.232,"endTime":124.072,"body":"as you can remember is now"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":124.072,"endTime":128.032,"body":"different, the brain gets"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":124.072,"endTime":128.032,"body":"thrown into a skip and sort"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":128.032,"endTime":130.042,"body":"of sits still and goes I"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":128.032,"endTime":130.042,"body":"don't know what's going on."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":130.222,"endTime":132.742,"body":"Everything feels wrong"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":133.509,"endTime":136.929,"body":"."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":133.509,"endTime":136.929,"body":"And I know Christmas isn't"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":137.379,"endTime":139.989,"body":"for some people, for a lot"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":137.379,"endTime":139.989,"body":"of people, to be honest."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":140.664,"endTime":143.289,"body":"It could be quite, quite"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":140.664,"endTime":143.289,"body":"triggering for a lot,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":143.559,"endTime":146.716,"body":"especially if as we're gonna"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":143.559,"endTime":146.716,"body":"talk about today, if somebody"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":146.956,"endTime":151.276,"body":"close to you has, has died"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":146.956,"endTime":151.276,"body":"in the year, this is the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":151.276,"endTime":156.756,"body":"first Christmas without them,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":151.276,"endTime":156.756,"body":"and I've had clients talk"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":156.756,"endTime":158.83599999999998,"body":"about that over the years."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":159.076,"endTime":161.326,"body":"This time of year, and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":159.076,"endTime":161.326,"body":"they know it's coming."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":161.656,"endTime":164.146,"body":"They're like, well, it's gonna"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":161.656,"endTime":164.146,"body":"be Christmas very, very soon."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":164.80599999999998,"endTime":166.486,"body":"And they'll say, you know,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":164.80599999999998,"endTime":166.486,"body":"this is the first Christmas"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":166.49099999999999,"endTime":171.326,"body":"without my husband, wife,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":166.49099999999999,"endTime":171.326,"body":"mum, dad, son, daughter."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":172.166,"endTime":176.635,"body":"And every routine that you've"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":172.166,"endTime":176.635,"body":"ever had has been upended."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":176.905,"endTime":179.44899999999998,"body":"And they need to do"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":176.905,"endTime":179.44899999999998,"body":"what's right for them."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":179.659,"endTime":182.179,"body":"And sometimes it is"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":179.659,"endTime":182.179,"body":"create a new routine."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":182.879,"endTime":186.41899999999998,"body":"The old routine is"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":182.879,"endTime":186.41899999999998,"body":"gonna constantly hurt."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":186.809,"endTime":190.469,"body":"Time for a new routine, time"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":186.809,"endTime":190.469,"body":"for some new traditions."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":190.91899999999998,"endTime":194.369,"body":"And maybe in the future we"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":190.91899999999998,"endTime":194.369,"body":"can bring back some of the old"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":194.549,"endTime":198.119,"body":"traditions and we can remember"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":194.549,"endTime":198.119,"body":"those people that have,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":198.48,"endTime":201.66,"body":"passed and it will still hurt."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":202.23,"endTime":204.98499999999999,"body":"But the love will"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":202.23,"endTime":204.98499999999999,"body":"be overshadowing it"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":205.555,"endTime":207.475,"body":"rather than the grief"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":205.555,"endTime":207.475,"body":"overshadowing the love."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":207.655,"endTime":210.535,"body":"But for that first Christmas,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":207.655,"endTime":210.535,"body":"you gotta remember, it's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":210.535,"endTime":211.945,"body":"that first Christmas."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":212.515,"endTime":215.125,"body":"But the good thing is you"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":212.515,"endTime":215.125,"body":"only get one of those."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":215.825,"endTime":217.295,"body":"Next time, it'll be"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":215.825,"endTime":217.295,"body":"the second Christmas"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":217.295,"endTime":218.015,"body":"and it'll be different."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":218.495,"endTime":220.641,"body":"And hopefully we'll have"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":218.495,"endTime":220.641,"body":"grown a bit since then."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":220.664,"endTime":222.164,"body":"There is that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":220.664,"endTime":222.164,"body":"phrase that people often"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":222.164,"endTime":225.01399999999998,"body":"use, not just Christmas,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":222.164,"endTime":225.01399999999998,"body":"but that's where we are."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":225.01399999999998,"endTime":229.394,"body":"So Christmas will never be"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":225.01399999999998,"endTime":229.394,"body":"the same again, and well,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":229.45399999999998,"endTime":234.79399999999998,"body":"that's the case, but it"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":229.45399999999998,"endTime":234.79399999999998,"body":"can change into something"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":234.88899999999998,"endTime":236.299,"body":"good again, but different."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":236.69899999999998,"endTime":239.789,"body":"When somebody, we"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":236.69899999999998,"endTime":239.789,"body":"love dies and they say Things"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":239.789,"endTime":240.749,"body":"will never be the same again."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":240.754,"endTime":241.499,"body":"No, they won't."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":242.249,"endTime":243.269,"body":"No, they won't be the same."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":243.989,"endTime":247.35899999999998,"body":"And that's not easy to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":243.989,"endTime":247.35899999999998,"body":"accept, but it's okay."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":248.059,"endTime":249.779,"body":"It's okay that things"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":248.059,"endTime":249.779,"body":"won't be the same again."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":250.444,"endTime":253.784,"body":"It's not something you'd"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":250.444,"endTime":253.784,"body":"wish for because when"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":253.784,"endTime":256.514,"body":"somebody says, oh, they're"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":253.784,"endTime":256.514,"body":"in a better place now."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":257.084,"endTime":260.294,"body":"And please, if you know"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":257.084,"endTime":260.294,"body":"somebody who's going through"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":260.294,"endTime":262.154,"body":"something, don't say that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":262.184,"endTime":262.934,"body":"Cuz you don't."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":263.024,"endTime":265.184,"body":"Yeah, there is a better place,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":263.024,"endTime":265.184,"body":"for them it's here alive."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":265.694,"endTime":266.654,"body":"That's the better place."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":267.354,"endTime":270.774,"body":"And it just means that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":267.354,"endTime":270.774,"body":"you're not getting it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":271.539,"endTime":274.194,"body":"When somebody says things"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":271.539,"endTime":274.194,"body":"like that, maybe they are,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":274.284,"endTime":278.244,"body":"but we've gotta remember that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":274.284,"endTime":278.244,"body":"not everybody's spiritual"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":278.244,"endTime":281.994,"body":"or religious at all or has"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":278.244,"endTime":281.994,"body":"any belief in an afterlife."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":281.994,"endTime":285.444,"body":"In fact, there was a, a study"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":281.994,"endTime":285.444,"body":"done a a year or so ago, and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":285.444,"endTime":287.134,"body":"it's only just been published"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":285.444,"endTime":287.134,"body":"actually cause they were"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":287.139,"endTime":291.024,"body":"sorting out the findings"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":287.139,"endTime":291.024,"body":"and it was I think 51%."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":291.121,"endTime":293.101,"body":"No belief in an afterlife."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":293.101,"endTime":294.901,"body":"No belief in something"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":293.101,"endTime":294.901,"body":"supernatural."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":295.474,"endTime":297.459,"body":"And 49% did."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":297.969,"endTime":299.769,"body":"So there's a lot of people"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":297.969,"endTime":299.769,"body":"out there who, if you"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":299.769,"endTime":302.889,"body":"were to say, well, here's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":299.769,"endTime":302.889,"body":"my beliefs, have them,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":303.589,"endTime":304.639,"body":"it's not gonna help them."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":304.795,"endTime":306.397,"body":"that's what I"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":304.795,"endTime":306.397,"body":"was just about to say."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":306.54699999999997,"endTime":309.039,"body":"if you're going to say, well,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":306.54699999999997,"endTime":309.039,"body":"whatever you're gonna say"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":309.039,"endTime":312.582,"body":"really to somebody who's lost"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":309.039,"endTime":312.582,"body":"a loved one, it's work from"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":312.582,"endTime":315.44,"body":"within their belief system,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":312.582,"endTime":315.44,"body":"that's a better way to do it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":315.908,"endTime":316.178,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":316.988,"endTime":319.988,"body":"And this topic is prompted"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":316.988,"endTime":319.988,"body":"by a listener Kate, who"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":319.993,"endTime":323.656,"body":"wrote in and asked Have you"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":319.993,"endTime":323.656,"body":"done any podcasts on grief?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":323.686,"endTime":326.236,"body":"My dad had Parkinson's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":323.686,"endTime":326.236,"body":"and died early October."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":326.716,"endTime":328.936,"body":"I am having counseling,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":326.716,"endTime":328.936,"body":"but I don't feel like I'm"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":328.936,"endTime":332.32599999999996,"body":"able to do anything, enjoy"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":328.936,"endTime":332.32599999999996,"body":"anything or see a future."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":333.016,"endTime":335.506,"body":"Your Patreon podcast"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":333.016,"endTime":335.506,"body":"about anhedonia really"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":335.506,"endTime":336.496,"body":"resonated with me."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":336.501,"endTime":339.346,"body":"I've not been able to work and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":336.501,"endTime":339.346,"body":"I've felt guilty about this."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":339.406,"endTime":341.266,"body":"I just want time to pass."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":341.506,"endTime":343.69599999999997,"body":"Thank you for all your"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":341.506,"endTime":343.69599999999997,"body":"podcasts and hypnosis tracks."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":343.69599999999997,"endTime":345.016,"body":"I've been listening"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":343.69599999999997,"endTime":345.016,"body":"a few years now."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":345.13599999999997,"endTime":347.236,"body":"I'm loving Therapy"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":345.13599999999997,"endTime":347.236,"body":"Natters too."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":347.716,"endTime":350.319,"body":"Well, thank you Kate, and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":347.716,"endTime":350.319,"body":"I'm sorry that your Dad died"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":350.319,"endTime":351.849,"body":"in October and it's painful."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":352.549,"endTime":357.32,"body":"And I think with that pain"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":352.549,"endTime":357.32,"body":"you have to recognize it's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":357.32,"endTime":358.15999999999997,"body":"there because you loved him."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":358.86,"endTime":361.59,"body":"If there wasn't somebody in"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":358.86,"endTime":361.59,"body":"your life that you loved, you"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":361.59,"endTime":362.84999999999997,"body":"wouldn't be feeling the grief."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":363.81,"endTime":364.98,"body":"It's a normal thing to feel."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":365.76,"endTime":368.28,"body":"And like I always say"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":365.76,"endTime":368.28,"body":"nothing's a problem unless it"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":368.28,"endTime":371.84999999999997,"body":"causes problems, but sometimes"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":368.28,"endTime":371.84999999999997,"body":"it causes problems cuz we"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":371.84999999999997,"endTime":375.15,"body":"want to hold onto the love"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":371.84999999999997,"endTime":375.15,"body":"that we had for somebody."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":375.69,"endTime":377.73,"body":"And Kate, if you wanna"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":375.69,"endTime":377.73,"body":"hold onto the love that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":377.73,"endTime":378.59999999999997,"body":"you had for your dad."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":379.33,"endTime":379.93,"body":"Hold it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":380.3,"endTime":383.92,"body":"And yes, it's painful and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":380.3,"endTime":383.92,"body":"you're gonna feel it, but"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":383.92,"endTime":385.9,"body":"like I say, this is gonna"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":383.92,"endTime":385.9,"body":"be the first Christmas."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":386.59999999999997,"endTime":389.21,"body":"Next year it's gonna be a"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":386.59999999999997,"endTime":389.21,"body":"different Christmas, and I"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":389.21,"endTime":392.88,"body":"dunno how you're gonna feel"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":389.21,"endTime":392.88,"body":"then, but it's likely that the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":392.88,"endTime":395.90999999999997,"body":"reminders of your dad aren't"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":392.88,"endTime":395.90999999999997,"body":"gonna hurt quite so much, the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":395.90999999999997,"endTime":397.11,"body":"grief will still be the same."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":397.63599999999997,"endTime":400.276,"body":"people often talk about"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":397.63599999999997,"endTime":400.276,"body":"how grief diminishes"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":400.276,"endTime":403.39,"body":"over time, and I I don't"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":400.276,"endTime":403.39,"body":"find that to be the case."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":403.39,"endTime":406.84,"body":"It's not that the grief"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":403.39,"endTime":406.84,"body":"diminishes, it's us that sort"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":406.84,"endTime":408.31,"body":"of grow around the grief."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":408.315,"endTime":411.21999999999997,"body":"Sometimes it'll knock us"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":408.315,"endTime":411.21999999999997,"body":"on our backside, but over"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":411.21999999999997,"endTime":412.93,"body":"time it just gets easier"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":411.21999999999997,"endTime":412.93,"body":"to get back up again."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":413.3,"endTime":415.906,"body":"There's a sort of a"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":413.3,"endTime":415.906,"body":"linguistic difference here,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":415.906,"endTime":417.016,"body":"I think as well, isn't there?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":417.556,"endTime":422.266,"body":"You know, the, the experience"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":417.556,"endTime":422.266,"body":"of the grief will change."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":422.296,"endTime":425.866,"body":"The intensity is"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":422.296,"endTime":425.866,"body":"likely to change."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":425.95,"endTime":429.98199999999997,"body":"But there will still be"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":425.95,"endTime":429.98199999999997,"body":"the grief, that's a thing."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":429.98199999999997,"endTime":434.96,"body":"But it's how much of the time,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":429.98199999999997,"endTime":434.96,"body":"how strongly it's felt, those"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":434.96,"endTime":436.96999999999997,"body":"things will change over time."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":437.45,"endTime":440.33,"body":"And it seems like Kate's a"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":437.45,"endTime":440.33,"body":"aware of that in that she"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":440.33,"endTime":441.89,"body":"said, I want the time to pass."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":442.26,"endTime":446.662,"body":"Because she sort of knows"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":442.26,"endTime":446.662,"body":"that that's what's needed."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":446.767,"endTime":449.077,"body":"You know, the old phrase,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":446.767,"endTime":449.077,"body":"you know, time heals."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":449.12,"endTime":451.58,"body":"Well, it sort of does, but"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":449.12,"endTime":451.58,"body":"that's also a bit trite."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":452.39,"endTime":456.05,"body":"But I would like to say, Kate,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":452.39,"endTime":456.05,"body":"it's, this is not very long"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":456.75,"endTime":457.24,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":457.635,"endTime":458.565,"body":"of October."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":459.195,"endTime":460.485,"body":"That's not long."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":461.055,"endTime":463.905,"body":"So be kind to yourself please."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":464.685,"endTime":468.63,"body":"And yeah, recognize"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":464.685,"endTime":468.63,"body":"that's, that's not wrong."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":468.78,"endTime":470.94,"body":"If other people are"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":468.78,"endTime":470.94,"body":"not understanding that,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":471.0,"endTime":473.04,"body":"and that could be part"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":471.0,"endTime":473.04,"body":"of what you're saying."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":473.04,"endTime":473.58,"body":"I don't know."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":474.15,"endTime":477.0,"body":"You didn't say it, so I'm"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":474.15,"endTime":477.0,"body":"not sure, but I'm just"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":477.03,"endTime":480.7,"body":"imagining that it might be"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":477.03,"endTime":480.7,"body":"that either people are saying"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":480.705,"endTime":483.82,"body":"it or you think they might be"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":480.705,"endTime":483.82,"body":"thinking it, that, gosh, you"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":483.825,"endTime":485.08,"body":"should be all right by now,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":485.26,"endTime":487.83,"body":"Yeah, Christmas is"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":485.26,"endTime":487.83,"body":"supposed to be a happy time."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":487.83,"endTime":489.19,"body":"Will you put a"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":487.83,"endTime":489.19,"body":"smile on your face?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":489.96999999999997,"endTime":491.89,"body":"That better place idea."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":492.59,"endTime":497.15,"body":"Kate could quite well have"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":492.59,"endTime":497.15,"body":"heard that because he will"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":497.155,"endTime":498.38,"body":"have been suffering, won't he,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":499.08,"endTime":499.5,"body":"Hmm."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":500.2,"endTime":501.67,"body":"to die of Parkinson's."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":502.06,"endTime":504.28,"body":"He will have been, he"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":502.06,"endTime":504.28,"body":"will have been suffering."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":504.49,"endTime":505.59999999999997,"body":"How he coped with that?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":505.71999999999997,"endTime":508.99,"body":"We've no idea, but it's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":505.71999999999997,"endTime":508.99,"body":"quite likely people are"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":508.99,"endTime":513.76,"body":"saying that and maybe Kate"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":508.99,"endTime":513.76,"body":"is finding that unhelpful."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":514.13,"endTime":515.75,"body":"There's likely"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":514.13,"endTime":515.75,"body":"a mixed bag of emotions."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":515.75,"endTime":518.6,"body":"And obviously Kate, you"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":515.75,"endTime":518.6,"body":"know, you're not our client."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":518.9,"endTime":520.37,"body":"You know, we don't, we"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":518.9,"endTime":520.37,"body":"don't know exactly what"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":520.375,"endTime":522.59,"body":"you're going through cause"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":520.375,"endTime":522.59,"body":"this is something everybody"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":522.59,"endTime":523.49,"body":"needs to bear in mind."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":524.285,"endTime":527.195,"body":"Everybody experiences"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":524.285,"endTime":527.195,"body":"everything differently."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":527.405,"endTime":528.725,"body":"They experience"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":527.405,"endTime":528.725,"body":"grief differently."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":528.725,"endTime":530.285,"body":"They experience"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":528.725,"endTime":530.285,"body":"depression differently,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":530.285,"endTime":531.4250000000001,"body":"anxiety differently."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":531.455,"endTime":534.6650000000001,"body":"Everybody's got their own"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":531.455,"endTime":534.6650000000001,"body":"phenomenological view."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":534.6650000000001,"endTime":536.705,"body":"Everybody's got their"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":534.6650000000001,"endTime":536.705,"body":"own perspectives."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":536.705,"endTime":536.975,"body":"No."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":537.215,"endTime":539.345,"body":"So don't say, oh, I"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":537.215,"endTime":539.345,"body":"know how you feel."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":539.525,"endTime":540.005,"body":"No you don't."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":540.785,"endTime":543.125,"body":"You think you do and you've"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":540.785,"endTime":543.125,"body":"got a rough idea cuz you've"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":543.125,"endTime":545.7750000000001,"body":"been through something similar"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":543.125,"endTime":545.7750000000001,"body":"maybe, but you don't actually"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":545.7800000000001,"endTime":548.095,"body":"know how somebody feels ever."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":548.9340000000001,"endTime":551.806,"body":"It can be quite painful"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":548.9340000000001,"endTime":551.806,"body":"to hear it, but there"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":551.806,"endTime":553.9960000000001,"body":"will be a mixed bag of"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":551.806,"endTime":553.9960000000001,"body":"emotions, I'm quite sure."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":554.696,"endTime":555.8960000000001,"body":"No, I'm not quite sure."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":555.9010000000001,"endTime":556.4960000000001,"body":"I don't know."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":556.6160000000001,"endTime":558.326,"body":"I have to practice"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":556.6160000000001,"endTime":558.326,"body":"what I preach here."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":558.326,"endTime":560.1260000000001,"body":"I don't know what you're"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":558.326,"endTime":560.1260000000001,"body":"going through, Kate,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":560.1260000000001,"endTime":561.1460000000001,"body":"but for some people"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":561.1460000000001,"endTime":564.2810000000001,"body":"it is likely that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":561.1460000000001,"endTime":564.2810000000001,"body":"there are a mixed bag of"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":564.2810000000001,"endTime":568.7510000000001,"body":"emotions because most people"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":564.2810000000001,"endTime":568.7510000000001,"body":"in most circumstances have"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":568.7510000000001,"endTime":569.921,"body":"a mixed bag of emotions."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":569.9960000000001,"endTime":574.6460000000001,"body":"even, even relief"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":569.9960000000001,"endTime":574.6460000000001,"body":"sometimes, And then the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":574.6460000000001,"endTime":576.686,"body":"guilt that comes from that,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":574.6460000000001,"endTime":576.686,"body":"and then the sadness and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":576.686,"endTime":579.206,"body":"then the, I hate myself"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":576.686,"endTime":579.206,"body":"and I hate the world."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":579.5060000000001,"endTime":581.7560000000001,"body":"All these things that go"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":579.5060000000001,"endTime":581.7560000000001,"body":"round and round and round and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":581.7560000000001,"endTime":586.436,"body":"there's no, there's no order,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":581.7560000000001,"endTime":586.436,"body":"there's no formula of how you"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":586.436,"endTime":588.1460000000001,"body":"experience this sort of thing."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":588.206,"endTime":591.686,"body":"I know Elizabeth Kubler Ross,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":588.206,"endTime":591.686,"body":"who's famous for her change"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":591.686,"endTime":594.086,"body":"work, you know, helping"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":591.686,"endTime":594.086,"body":"people deal with change."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":594.2660000000001,"endTime":596.426,"body":"And she did some work"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":594.2660000000001,"endTime":596.426,"body":"this back in the sixties"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":596.606,"endTime":598.2660000000001,"body":"with end of life care."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":598.716,"endTime":600.576,"body":"So she'd be familiar"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":598.716,"endTime":600.576,"body":"with, with Parkinson's."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":600.576,"endTime":602.226,"body":"I, I'm not sure if"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":600.576,"endTime":602.226,"body":"she's still alive."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":602.226,"endTime":603.2460000000001,"body":"Elizabeth Kubler Ross."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":603.306,"endTime":605.946,"body":"She was, she wrote a lot of"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":603.306,"endTime":605.946,"body":"her books in the sixties, so"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":606.4860000000001,"endTime":609.466,"body":"was a while ago, but she was"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":606.4860000000001,"endTime":609.466,"body":"the one that came up with"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":609.552,"endTime":616.792,"body":"the DABDA process of denial,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":609.552,"endTime":616.792,"body":"anger, bargaining, depression,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":616.8820000000001,"endTime":618.1120000000001,"body":"and then acceptance."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":618.6220000000001,"endTime":621.832,"body":"But, what I found in all"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":618.6220000000001,"endTime":621.832,"body":"of the people I've ever"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":621.832,"endTime":624.7420000000001,"body":"met going through grief,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":621.832,"endTime":624.7420000000001,"body":"they're not in that order."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":625.672,"endTime":626.5120000000001,"body":"They're really not."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":626.5120000000001,"endTime":629.302,"body":"They might start with"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":626.5120000000001,"endTime":629.302,"body":"denial, but that will"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":629.302,"endTime":631.522,"body":"crop up again later on"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":629.302,"endTime":631.522,"body":"after anger sometimes."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":631.522,"endTime":635.2120000000001,"body":"So there's not DABDA it"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":631.522,"endTime":635.2120000000001,"body":"can be if we're honest."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":635.2420000000001,"endTime":636.2320000000001,"body":"It's all over the place."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":636.8420000000001,"endTime":637.082,"body":"Oo."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":637.782,"endTime":639.582,"body":"Oh, you could , you"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":637.782,"endTime":639.582,"body":"could come up with your"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":639.582,"endTime":640.9620000000001,"body":"own version with the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":641.172,"endTime":642.172,"body":"With a Yabadabadoo."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":642.192,"endTime":642.7620000000001,"body":"It's not"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":642.7620000000001,"endTime":643.1220000000001,"body":"Oh, yeah."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":643.1220000000001,"endTime":643.6020000000001,"body":"But yeah."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":643.8720000000001,"endTime":645.072,"body":"Possibly yelling"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":645.072,"endTime":646.302,"body":"instead of denial."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":646.392,"endTime":646.5120000000001,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":646.902,"endTime":648.792,"body":"yeah, I think I'll"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":646.902,"endTime":648.792,"body":"put a better spin on it."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":649.4920000000001,"endTime":652.619,"body":"I think she, she"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":649.4920000000001,"endTime":652.619,"body":"died in 2004, by the way."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":652.6790000000001,"endTime":653.729,"body":"I just checked."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":654.379,"endTime":655.999,"body":"Rest in Peace"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":654.379,"endTime":655.999,"body":"Elizabeth Kubler Ross"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":656.4010000000001,"endTime":658.1410000000001,"body":"I like a linear setup."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":658.8910000000001,"endTime":661.5310000000001,"body":"I feel comfortable"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":658.8910000000001,"endTime":661.5310000000001,"body":"with linear things."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":661.5310000000001,"endTime":664.801,"body":"I'm not somebody who does"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":661.5310000000001,"endTime":664.801,"body":"Mind Maps, for example."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":664.806,"endTime":669.931,"body":"I like lists, other people"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":664.806,"endTime":669.931,"body":"don't, but I do even"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":669.931,"endTime":674.7410000000001,"body":"still recognize that most"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":669.931,"endTime":674.7410000000001,"body":"processes aren't linear, and"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":674.8910000000001,"endTime":676.811,"body":"this one certainly isn't."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":677.5110000000001,"endTime":681.109,"body":"But it's a framework that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":677.5110000000001,"endTime":681.109,"body":"can lead to, I mean, the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":681.109,"endTime":682.519,"body":"final one being acceptance."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":682.519,"endTime":685.211,"body":"It can lead to an acceptance"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":682.519,"endTime":685.211,"body":"that I'm not at acceptance."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":685.249,"endTime":689.3290000000001,"body":"And that it's okay to have any"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":685.249,"endTime":689.3290000000001,"body":"of the others, and it doesn't"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":689.3340000000001,"endTime":692.749,"body":"matter if they aren't in the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":689.3340000000001,"endTime":692.749,"body":"right order or if you go back"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":692.749,"endTime":697.399,"body":"to one and it cycles, jumps"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":692.749,"endTime":697.399,"body":"around all over the place."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":697.769,"endTime":698.519,"body":"That's okay."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":698.524,"endTime":702.629,"body":"But I think to have some"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":698.524,"endTime":702.629,"body":"sort of framework to say,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":703.4490000000001,"endTime":707.759,"body":"actually this is okay to feel"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":703.4490000000001,"endTime":707.759,"body":"angry, and you might feel"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":707.759,"endTime":709.9190000000001,"body":"angry at all sorts of people."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":709.928,"endTime":712.0580000000001,"body":"You might feel angry at"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":709.928,"endTime":712.0580000000001,"body":"the person who's died."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":712.0580000000001,"endTime":716.6030000000001,"body":"You might feel angry at"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":712.0580000000001,"endTime":716.6030000000001,"body":"people who were caring for"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":716.6030000000001,"endTime":718.2230000000001,"body":"them and didn't save them."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":718.773,"endTime":721.3530000000001,"body":"There can be an awful"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":718.773,"endTime":721.3530000000001,"body":"lot of irrational anger,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":721.3530000000001,"endTime":724.6830000000001,"body":"but irrational anger's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":721.3530000000001,"endTime":724.6830000000001,"body":"okay as well, sometimes."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":725.523,"endTime":729.0630000000001,"body":"It's about recognizing"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":725.523,"endTime":729.0630000000001,"body":"and allowing it and again,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":729.0630000000001,"endTime":732.4960000000001,"body":"being kind to yourself about"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":729.0630000000001,"endTime":732.4960000000001,"body":"what you're experiencing."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":733.196,"endTime":735.086,"body":"Being kind"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":733.196,"endTime":735.086,"body":"to yourself, I think"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":735.086,"endTime":736.196,"body":"that's an important one."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":736.375,"endTime":736.628,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":736.94,"endTime":738.0500000000001,"body":"Through all of this."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":738.47,"endTime":741.24,"body":"And that might mean"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":738.47,"endTime":741.24,"body":"keeping your boundaries."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":741.99,"endTime":744.24,"body":"Actually saying to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":741.99,"endTime":744.24,"body":"other people, friends"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":744.3950000000001,"endTime":746.5200000000001,"body":"other family who are"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":744.3950000000001,"endTime":746.5200000000001,"body":"going through something"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":746.61,"endTime":747.63,"body":"similar but different."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":747.95,"endTime":749.57,"body":"Because of phenomenology."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":749.57,"endTime":751.1600000000001,"body":"Everybody's going through"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":749.57,"endTime":751.1600000000001,"body":"something different."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":752.0300000000001,"endTime":755.1800000000001,"body":"You might have to say, I"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":752.0300000000001,"endTime":755.1800000000001,"body":"don't want to talk right now"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":755.88,"endTime":758.226,"body":"and I don't want to go to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":755.88,"endTime":758.226,"body":"this event and I don't want"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":758.226,"endTime":760.296,"body":"to celebrate New Year's Eve."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":760.296,"endTime":761.8660000000001,"body":"I don't wanna sing"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":760.296,"endTime":761.8660000000001,"body":"Auld Lang Syne."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":762.216,"endTime":763.956,"body":"Oh, for old"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":762.216,"endTime":763.956,"body":"acquaintance be forgot."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":764.0160000000001,"endTime":764.706,"body":"F off."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":764.7660000000001,"endTime":766.356,"body":"I don't want to do that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":766.416,"endTime":768.066,"body":"And if you don't wanna"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":766.416,"endTime":768.066,"body":"do that, don't do that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":768.2460000000001,"endTime":770.306,"body":"Keep your shape, be you."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":771.0060000000001,"endTime":773.466,"body":"There are exceptions,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":771.0060000000001,"endTime":773.466,"body":"but only you know that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":773.5260000000001,"endTime":776.046,"body":"You might deep down know"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":773.5260000000001,"endTime":776.046,"body":"well, actually being around"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":776.046,"endTime":778.2660000000001,"body":"people, is gonna help me,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":776.046,"endTime":778.2660000000001,"body":"it's gonna support me."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":778.296,"endTime":780.216,"body":"Well, only if you're around"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":778.296,"endTime":780.216,"body":"helpful and supporting"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":780.216,"endTime":781.8960000000001,"body":"people, do bear that in mind."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":782.596,"endTime":784.4860000000001,"body":"But you might wanna"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":782.596,"endTime":784.4860000000001,"body":"sit and cry and keep"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":784.4910000000001,"endTime":785.356,"body":"yourself to yourself."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":785.416,"endTime":786.466,"body":"Do that if you want."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":787.166,"endTime":789.7460000000001,"body":"And don't let somebody say,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":787.166,"endTime":789.7460000000001,"body":"Oh no, but you need to come."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":789.926,"endTime":790.7460000000001,"body":"It'll be good for you."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":790.7460000000001,"endTime":792.619,"body":"You don't know that and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":790.7460000000001,"endTime":792.619,"body":"they don't know that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":792.619,"endTime":793.969,"body":"Do what's right for you."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":794.4190000000001,"endTime":796.879,"body":"And like we say,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":794.4190000000001,"endTime":796.879,"body":"this is very new."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":797.5790000000001,"endTime":800.4290000000001,"body":"This is really quite raw"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":797.5790000000001,"endTime":800.4290000000001,"body":"and you're talking to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":800.589,"endTime":802.379,"body":"a counselor about this."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":802.739,"endTime":806.0690000000001,"body":"Hopefully a bereavement"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":802.739,"endTime":806.0690000000001,"body":"counselor or a counselor"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":806.0690000000001,"endTime":808.0790000000001,"body":"you've already seen that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":806.0690000000001,"endTime":808.0790000000001,"body":"knows you well and you've"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":808.0790000000001,"endTime":809.279,"body":"got a good relationship with."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":809.3090000000001,"endTime":810.9000000000001,"body":"Who can work with,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":809.3090000000001,"endTime":810.9000000000001,"body":"bereavement, because"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":811.061,"endTime":813.0110000000001,"body":"bereavement counseling"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":811.061,"endTime":813.0110000000001,"body":"is slightly different to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":813.4010000000001,"endTime":817.6410000000001,"body":"person-centered counseling and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":813.4010000000001,"endTime":817.6410000000001,"body":"certainly than psychoanalysis"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":818.041,"endTime":821.856,"body":"unless it's stuck a year or"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":818.041,"endTime":821.856,"body":"two, or five or 20 down the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":821.856,"endTime":824.826,"body":"line, then yeah, there's other"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":821.856,"endTime":824.826,"body":"work that probably needs to be"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":824.826,"endTime":826.596,"body":"done, but when it's this raw"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":826.806,"endTime":830.4060000000001,"body":"This, this early and"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":826.806,"endTime":830.4060000000001,"body":"Yeah, I mean, I, I, I was just"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":830.4060000000001,"endTime":832.8660000000001,"body":"thinking then, I, I hope that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":830.4060000000001,"endTime":832.8660000000001,"body":"your counselor isn't trying to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":832.8660000000001,"endTime":836.653,"body":"fix it because this is okay."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":836.658,"endTime":837.4380000000001,"body":"You're not stuck."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":837.8580000000001,"endTime":840.1980000000001,"body":"I mean, you could be"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":837.8580000000001,"endTime":840.1980000000001,"body":"theoretically if you were"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":840.1980000000001,"endTime":841.9680000000001,"body":"still, cuz go back to that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":842.2080000000001,"endTime":843.498,"body":"in denial"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":842.2080000000001,"endTime":843.498,"body":"potentially."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":843.5580000000001,"endTime":843.738,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":843.8580000000001,"endTime":845.0580000000001,"body":"that denial phase."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":845.2810000000001,"endTime":849.0010000000001,"body":"Most people will have if even"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":845.2810000000001,"endTime":849.0010000000001,"body":"if they hadn't had it on a"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":849.3610000000001,"endTime":852.541,"body":"grief situation or they'll"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":849.3610000000001,"endTime":852.541,"body":"have had some sort of shock or"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":852.541,"endTime":856.1410000000001,"body":"situation where they wake up"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":852.541,"endTime":856.1410000000001,"body":"in the morning and go, oh God,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":856.1410000000001,"endTime":857.4910000000001,"body":"yes, that happened, didn't it?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":858.191,"endTime":860.471,"body":"And that split second"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":858.191,"endTime":860.471,"body":"in the morning sort"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":860.471,"endTime":861.6110000000001,"body":"of forgotten about it."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":862.311,"endTime":865.571,"body":"You know, that that can take"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":862.311,"endTime":865.571,"body":"some time to get through"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":865.571,"endTime":867.816,"body":"so that it's well, again,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":865.571,"endTime":867.816,"body":"it's an accepted that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":867.8760000000001,"endTime":870.306,"body":"you're not going back to,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":867.8760000000001,"endTime":870.306,"body":"oh my God, that happened."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":870.384,"endTime":874.374,"body":"That phase, if you get stuck"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":870.384,"endTime":874.374,"body":"in that would be a problem."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":874.494,"endTime":877.1640000000001,"body":"And any of them, if you"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":874.494,"endTime":877.1640000000001,"body":"get stuck in, and  a way"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":877.1640000000001,"endTime":879.5100000000001,"body":"that the framework, I"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":877.1640000000001,"endTime":879.5100000000001,"body":"think is quite useful of"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":879.5100000000001,"endTime":881.1,"body":"a recognizing a stuckness."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":881.59,"endTime":882.2,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":882.735,"endTime":886.005,"body":"If you are five"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":882.735,"endTime":886.005,"body":"years down the line and"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":886.005,"endTime":890.7850000000001,"body":"still really depressed about"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":886.005,"endTime":890.7850000000001,"body":"a loss, then that might"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":890.7850000000001,"endTime":894.149,"body":"suggest that some work needs"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":890.7850000000001,"endTime":894.149,"body":"to be done to unstick you."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":894.849,"endTime":897.552,"body":"Because it might"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":894.849,"endTime":897.552,"body":"be more than just this"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":897.557,"endTime":900.152,"body":"one bereavement that is"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":897.557,"endTime":900.152,"body":"causing it to be stuck."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":900.152,"endTime":902.879,"body":"It could be a whole life"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":900.152,"endTime":902.879,"body":"of attachment stuff."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":903.1550000000001,"endTime":905.195,"body":"Bereavements"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":903.1550000000001,"endTime":905.195,"body":"vary in their intensity."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":905.195,"endTime":909.2620000000001,"body":"I mean, I lost somebody who I"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":905.195,"endTime":909.2620000000001,"body":"was close to just last week,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":909.772,"endTime":914.691,"body":"but the intensity is not there"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":909.772,"endTime":914.691,"body":"because she was very old."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":914.7570000000001,"endTime":918.787,"body":"She hadn't been with it for"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":914.7570000000001,"endTime":918.787,"body":"some time and, really I'd"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":918.807,"endTime":919.7370000000001,"body":"already done the grieving."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":920.243,"endTime":923.479,"body":"So that's not going to be"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":920.243,"endTime":923.479,"body":"something that sticks around"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":923.479,"endTime":925.609,"body":"because I'd already done it."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":926.0360000000001,"endTime":929.3960000000001,"body":"To say that that bereavement"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":926.0360000000001,"endTime":929.3960000000001,"body":"is the same as, I don't even"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":929.3960000000001,"endTime":932.696,"body":"really want to go there to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":929.3960000000001,"endTime":932.696,"body":"name it, but let's just say"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":933.1560000000001,"endTime":936.869,"body":"somebody losing a child,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":933.1560000000001,"endTime":936.869,"body":"let's just go maybe that far."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":937.469,"endTime":940.1990000000001,"body":"That's completely different."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":941.0840000000001,"endTime":944.3240000000001,"body":"It's the same word,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":941.0840000000001,"endTime":944.3240000000001,"body":"but it's completely"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":944.3240000000001,"endTime":945.6740000000001,"body":"different experience"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":946.374,"endTime":946.6740000000001,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":946.6790000000001,"endTime":949.734,"body":"You're also grieving for"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":946.6790000000001,"endTime":949.734,"body":"what could have been, should"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":949.739,"endTime":952.854,"body":"have been in in a multiverse"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":949.739,"endTime":952.854,"body":"if they really do exist."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":952.859,"endTime":954.104,"body":"The one where they're"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":952.859,"endTime":954.104,"body":"still alive, you're"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":954.104,"endTime":955.104,"body":"grieving for that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":955.8040000000001,"endTime":958.474,"body":"Grieving for their 18th"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":955.8040000000001,"endTime":958.474,"body":"birthday, 21st birthday,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":958.474,"endTime":960.904,"body":"you're grieving for"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":958.474,"endTime":960.904,"body":"all of that potential."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":961.604,"endTime":966.1610000000001,"body":"It's the potential and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":961.604,"endTime":966.1610000000001,"body":"there's no fix for that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":966.461,"endTime":967.3910000000001,"body":"There really isn't."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":967.976,"endTime":970.3760000000001,"body":"But still, you know,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":967.976,"endTime":970.3760000000001,"body":"five years down the line"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":970.3760000000001,"endTime":973.856,"body":"to be depressed about it,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":970.3760000000001,"endTime":973.856,"body":"you would still be feeling"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":973.856,"endTime":978.542,"body":"an awful lot about it, but"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":973.856,"endTime":978.542,"body":"maybe it would've, been able"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":978.542,"endTime":980.3720000000001,"body":"to move out of that stage."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":980.4250000000001,"endTime":981.676,"body":"that's sort of what"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":980.4250000000001,"endTime":981.676,"body":"I'm getting at."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":981.899,"endTime":985.106,"body":"I think it's important to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":981.899,"endTime":985.106,"body":"recognize that they do vary."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":985.106,"endTime":988.046,"body":"The circumstances"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":985.106,"endTime":988.046,"body":"vary as well."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":988.6360000000001,"endTime":992.5360000000001,"body":"You know, if it's a peaceful"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":988.6360000000001,"endTime":992.5360000000001,"body":"death as opposed to a violent"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":992.5360000000001,"endTime":997.4090000000001,"body":"one, whether you said goodbye,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":992.5360000000001,"endTime":997.4090000000001,"body":"whether you were in a state"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":997.4090000000001,"endTime":998.849,"body":"of conflict with the person."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":999.5690000000001,"endTime":1004.0390000000001,"body":"So, so many things"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":999.5690000000001,"endTime":1004.0390000000001,"body":"affect the grief process."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1004.739,"endTime":1009.1890000000001,"body":"And each of us needs to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1004.739,"endTime":1009.1890000000001,"body":"be able to recognize the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1009.1890000000001,"endTime":1010.899,"body":"impact of all the factors."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1011.599,"endTime":1012.369,"body":"And be kind."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1012.856,"endTime":1017.086,"body":"I'm not sure there"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1012.856,"endTime":1017.086,"body":"were any tools as such for"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1017.446,"endTime":1018.316,"body":"somebody in this stage."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1018.316,"endTime":1021.2660000000001,"body":"Maybe, maybe things like"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1018.316,"endTime":1021.2660000000001,"body":"writing letters that can be"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1021.2660000000001,"endTime":1023.696,"body":"quite useful, keeping them,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1021.2660000000001,"endTime":1023.696,"body":"you know, talking about them."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1024.446,"endTime":1027.139,"body":"And with it being New"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1024.446,"endTime":1027.139,"body":"Year's Eve soon, that's,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1027.139,"endTime":1030.472,"body":"that's doable, if you've"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1027.139,"endTime":1030.472,"body":"got an outdoor fire pit,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1031.192,"endTime":1032.122,"body":"go and sit around that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1032.692,"endTime":1036.092,"body":"Write a letter"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1032.692,"endTime":1036.092,"body":"and then burn it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1036.692,"endTime":1039.092,"body":"Let the smoke"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1036.692,"endTime":1039.092,"body":"disappear off and away."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1039.092,"endTime":1039.902,"body":"Send messages."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1040.022,"endTime":1041.162,"body":"You do what's right for you."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1041.192,"endTime":1042.122,"body":"You might wanna"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1041.192,"endTime":1042.122,"body":"keep the letter."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1042.522,"endTime":1043.962,"body":"Might wanna send it"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1042.522,"endTime":1043.962,"body":"to your therapist."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1044.022,"endTime":1046.422,"body":"You might wanna burn it,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1044.022,"endTime":1046.422,"body":"shred it, eat it, you"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1046.422,"endTime":1047.382,"body":"know, do what you like."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1047.892,"endTime":1050.422,"body":"But I think it would be"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1047.892,"endTime":1050.422,"body":"good, you can even send an"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1050.422,"endTime":1054.5919999999999,"body":"email, send a text message to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1050.422,"endTime":1054.5919999999999,"body":"their phone if they had one."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1055.292,"endTime":1057.002,"body":"People do that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1055.292,"endTime":1057.002,"body":"and it's helpful."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1057.062,"endTime":1059.552,"body":"They know they're not gonna"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1057.062,"endTime":1059.552,"body":"get a message back, but"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1059.552,"endTime":1062.222,"body":"it's quite nice to send"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1059.552,"endTime":1062.222,"body":"it and see it go Blooom."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1062.5919999999999,"endTime":1062.982,"body":"There."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1063.402,"endTime":1064.512,"body":"I'm telling them how I feel."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1064.512,"endTime":1067.422,"body":"I'm telling them that I"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1064.512,"endTime":1067.422,"body":"miss them and that's sad."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1068.1219999999998,"endTime":1069.712,"body":"But it's healing as well."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1070.522,"endTime":1073.492,"body":"Because we don't want"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1070.522,"endTime":1073.492,"body":"to lose who they were."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1074.202,"endTime":1076.932,"body":"Overcoming grief doesn't"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1074.202,"endTime":1076.932,"body":"mean letting go of the love"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1076.932,"endTime":1077.922,"body":"that you had for somebody."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1078.282,"endTime":1079.936,"body":"And want everybody"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1078.282,"endTime":1079.936,"body":"to recognize that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1079.941,"endTime":1083.4859999999999,"body":"You can still love somebody,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1079.941,"endTime":1083.4859999999999,"body":"and you can grieve for that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1083.4859999999999,"endTime":1089.2559999999999,"body":"missing love that you don't"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1083.4859999999999,"endTime":1089.2559999999999,"body":"easily feel cuz it's one way."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1089.2859999999998,"endTime":1090.456,"body":"You don't get it back."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1091.156,"endTime":1093.856,"body":"But you can still love them,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1091.156,"endTime":1093.856,"body":"still have them dear to you."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1094.0359999999998,"endTime":1095.806,"body":"You can still talk to a"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1094.0359999999998,"endTime":1095.806,"body":"picture on the mantle piece"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1095.806,"endTime":1097.066,"body":"or whatever needs to be done."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1097.066,"endTime":1099.376,"body":"You can still send 'em text"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1097.066,"endTime":1099.376,"body":"messages or write them letters"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1100.096,"endTime":1103.336,"body":"and you can talk about them"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1100.096,"endTime":1103.336,"body":"even if you talk over the same"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1103.336,"endTime":1104.5359999999998,"body":"things over and over again."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1104.5359999999998,"endTime":1107.416,"body":"Often, especially at"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1104.5359999999998,"endTime":1107.416,"body":"this stage for, for Kate"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1107.421,"endTime":1108.9759999999999,"body":"or anybody that's lost"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1107.421,"endTime":1108.9759999999999,"body":"somebody quite recently,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1109.5059999999999,"endTime":1114.076,"body":"they might wanna talk about"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1109.5059999999999,"endTime":1114.076,"body":"how they died over and over"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1114.076,"endTime":1115.2759999999998,"body":"and over and over again."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1115.6419999999998,"endTime":1118.282,"body":"What people don't realize"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1115.6419999999998,"endTime":1118.282,"body":"is that that can be healing"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1118.672,"endTime":1122.782,"body":"because their brain is,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1118.672,"endTime":1122.782,"body":"is not re-experiencing"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1122.782,"endTime":1124.972,"body":"it, it, or reliving it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1124.972,"endTime":1126.412,"body":"I mean, can be, and,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1124.972,"endTime":1126.412,"body":"and that's something"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1126.417,"endTime":1127.5819999999999,"body":"to, to investigate."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1127.6119999999999,"endTime":1132.692,"body":"But often it's learning that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1127.6119999999999,"endTime":1132.692,"body":"it's the past and every time"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1132.692,"endTime":1137.762,"body":"somebody talks about it, it"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1132.692,"endTime":1137.762,"body":"goes down 0.000 1% of pain."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1138.3919999999998,"endTime":1139.922,"body":"And that's not"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1138.3919999999998,"endTime":1139.922,"body":"much, obviously."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1140.1019999999999,"endTime":1142.172,"body":"So they keep talking, keep"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1140.1019999999999,"endTime":1142.172,"body":"talking, keep talking until"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1142.172,"endTime":1143.137,"body":"the brain goes, oh, okay."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1143.137,"endTime":1143.4869999999999,"body":"I get it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1144.0819999999999,"endTime":1144.232,"body":"it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1144.232,"endTime":1146.692,"body":"It is the past and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1144.232,"endTime":1146.692,"body":"it happened, and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1146.692,"endTime":1148.492,"body":"I can accept that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1149.192,"endTime":1150.3319999999999,"body":"But they might"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1149.192,"endTime":1150.3319999999999,"body":"wanna talk about."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1150.9769999999999,"endTime":1154.9969999999998,"body":"And everything that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1150.9769999999999,"endTime":1154.9969999999998,"body":"reminds you of them."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1155.367,"endTime":1156.777,"body":"It can be"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1155.367,"endTime":1156.777,"body":"very comforting and"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1156.777,"endTime":1158.067,"body":"very nice to do."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1158.067,"endTime":1160.947,"body":"What would so and so have"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1158.067,"endTime":1160.947,"body":"said in this situation?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1161.2469999999998,"endTime":1163.2569999999998,"body":"Oh, wouldn't they"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1161.2469999999998,"endTime":1163.2569999999998,"body":"have laughed at this?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1163.264,"endTime":1165.5439999999999,"body":"And, oh, do you remember when?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1165.5439999999999,"endTime":1168.524,"body":"And, oh, this football"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1165.5439999999999,"endTime":1168.524,"body":"team, they, they really"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1168.524,"endTime":1169.7839999999999,"body":"liked this player."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1169.7839999999999,"endTime":1173.244,"body":"You know, those sorts"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1169.7839999999999,"endTime":1173.244,"body":"of things can be really"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1173.244,"endTime":1174.264,"body":"nice and comforting."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1174.498,"endTime":1176.8609999999999,"body":"And this time of"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1174.498,"endTime":1176.8609999999999,"body":"year, I know it's the first"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1176.8609999999999,"endTime":1180.991,"body":"time for Kate that christmas"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1176.8609999999999,"endTime":1180.991,"body":"and New Year have come"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1180.991,"endTime":1182.791,"body":"around feeling this way."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1183.491,"endTime":1185.441,"body":"But you can still"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1183.491,"endTime":1185.441,"body":"talk about him now."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1185.501,"endTime":1187.211,"body":"You can talk about him"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1185.501,"endTime":1187.211,"body":"and say, well, this is"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1187.211,"endTime":1187.931,"body":"what he liked to do."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1187.931,"endTime":1188.6509999999998,"body":"Do you remember when?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1188.6509999999998,"endTime":1191.581,"body":"When I was, when I"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1188.6509999999998,"endTime":1191.581,"body":"was 15 or whatever?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1191.581,"endTime":1193.3909999999998,"body":"You know, you can do that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1193.841,"endTime":1197.741,"body":"It isn't gonna make you feel"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1193.841,"endTime":1197.741,"body":"more grief in doing that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1198.281,"endTime":1200.741,"body":"It's not gonna make"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1198.281,"endTime":1200.741,"body":"you wallow in self-pity"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1200.741,"endTime":1201.8809999999999,"body":"by talking about them."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1202.691,"endTime":1204.591,"body":"Talk about them, of course,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1202.691,"endTime":1204.591,"body":"if you don't want to."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1205.1309999999999,"endTime":1207.386,"body":"Don't, if it is too painful,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1205.1309999999999,"endTime":1207.386,"body":"because actually this isn't"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1207.386,"endTime":1210.056,"body":"healing, I don't want to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1207.386,"endTime":1210.056,"body":"talk about them, then don't."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1210.116,"endTime":1211.0159999999998,"body":"Keep your boundaries."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1211.0159999999998,"endTime":1212.936,"body":"Even if somebody says,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1211.0159999999998,"endTime":1212.936,"body":"Oh, let it out, you"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1212.936,"endTime":1213.7459999999999,"body":"can't bottle it up."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1213.7459999999999,"endTime":1215.456,"body":"It'll, it'll make"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1213.7459999999999,"endTime":1215.456,"body":"things worse."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1215.461,"endTime":1217.176,"body":"You do it your way."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1217.676,"endTime":1218.186,"body":"Exactly."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1218.186,"endTime":1221.2759999999998,"body":"Each person's different"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1218.186,"endTime":1221.2759999999998,"body":"on that front and it so"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1221.2759999999998,"endTime":1224.7359999999999,"body":"many people fear talking"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1221.2759999999998,"endTime":1224.7359999999999,"body":"to somebody who's been"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1224.7359999999999,"endTime":1228.576,"body":"bereaved cause I don't"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1224.7359999999999,"endTime":1228.576,"body":"know what to say scenario."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1228.576,"endTime":1230.196,"body":"And I know I've been"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1228.576,"endTime":1230.196,"body":"there with people."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1230.196,"endTime":1231.306,"body":"I don't know what to say."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1231.936,"endTime":1234.906,"body":"So I usually say, I"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1231.936,"endTime":1234.906,"body":"don't know what to say."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1235.606,"endTime":1235.966,"body":"Yep."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1236.596,"endTime":1240.971,"body":"let the person guide"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1236.596,"endTime":1240.971,"body":"you if they sort of clam up."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1241.406,"endTime":1243.2359999999999,"body":"And start talking"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1241.406,"endTime":1243.2359999999999,"body":"about the weather."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1243.866,"endTime":1246.522,"body":"Then let that be the guide."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1246.912,"endTime":1250.312,"body":"If they say, oh, I just"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1246.912,"endTime":1250.312,"body":"really like to talk about"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1250.312,"endTime":1252.1119999999999,"body":"him but I just don't"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1250.312,"endTime":1252.1119999999999,"body":"really get the chance."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1252.562,"endTime":1254.402,"body":"Then go with it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1254.79,"endTime":1254.97,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1255.02,"endTime":1256.86,"body":"Be in their frame"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1255.02,"endTime":1256.86,"body":"of reference."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1257.1899999999998,"endTime":1257.55,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1257.85,"endTime":1259.74,"body":"And say you dunno what"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1257.85,"endTime":1259.74,"body":"their frame of reference is."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1259.95,"endTime":1262.5,"body":"It's often a useful"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1259.95,"endTime":1262.5,"body":"tactic in conversation,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1262.682,"endTime":1264.696,"body":"Yeah cuz it"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1262.682,"endTime":1264.696,"body":"passes it back to them and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1264.696,"endTime":1266.0159999999998,"body":"then they can direct it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1266.2659999999998,"endTime":1269.326,"body":"Even if, like you say,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1266.2659999999998,"endTime":1269.326,"body":"they don't want to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1269.326,"endTime":1272.5359999999998,"body":"talk and you don't know"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1269.326,"endTime":1272.5359999999998,"body":"what to say to them."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1273.4959999999999,"endTime":1274.696,"body":"Then you say that, of course."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1274.696,"endTime":1276.5259999999998,"body":"You say, I dunno what to say."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1277.156,"endTime":1278.116,"body":"I wish I could help."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1278.7759999999998,"endTime":1280.0359999999998,"body":"Do you want to talk about it?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1280.366,"endTime":1285.866,"body":"And if they say, No, not"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1280.366,"endTime":1285.866,"body":"right now, cuz we're in Boots"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1285.926,"endTime":1287.696,"body":"returning this gift, you know."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1288.2359999999999,"endTime":1290.136,"body":"Oh yeah, that's fair"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1288.2359999999999,"endTime":1290.136,"body":"I'll see you next week."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1290.836,"endTime":1292.186,"body":"There's a time and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1290.836,"endTime":1292.186,"body":"a place for it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1292.906,"endTime":1297.2359999999999,"body":"And if they say Not right now,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1292.906,"endTime":1297.2359999999999,"body":"but if you're free on Friday"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1297.936,"endTime":1298.9859999999999,"body":"It'd be nice to pop round."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1299.7659999999998,"endTime":1301.793,"body":"I'll bring some Hobnobs,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1299.7659999999998,"endTime":1301.793,"body":"Let's sit down pot of"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1301.793,"endTime":1302.903,"body":"tea, packet of hobnobs."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1303.5629999999999,"endTime":1306.8629999999998,"body":"Nothing better if you ask me."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1307.543,"endTime":1308.8229999999999,"body":"Unless of course"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1307.543,"endTime":1308.8229999999999,"body":"your pre-diabetic."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1308.828,"endTime":1310.143,"body":"In which case, lay"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1308.828,"endTime":1310.143,"body":"off the hobnobs for"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1310.143,"endTime":1310.873,"body":"goodness sake, will you?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1311.5729999999999,"endTime":1313.133,"body":"And that's my"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1311.5729999999999,"endTime":1313.133,"body":"defense mechanism."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1313.163,"endTime":1316.163,"body":"How do I make light of"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1313.163,"endTime":1316.163,"body":"such a difficult situation?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1316.283,"endTime":1318.533,"body":"Even therapists will"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1316.283,"endTime":1318.533,"body":"go, I dunno what to say."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1318.533,"endTime":1320.483,"body":"How can I release"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1318.533,"endTime":1320.483,"body":"the tension here?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1321.183,"endTime":1322.743,"body":"So goodness knows what"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1321.183,"endTime":1322.743,"body":"the person you meet in"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1322.743,"endTime":1323.523,"body":"Boots is gonna be like."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1324.223,"endTime":1325.933,"body":"that's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1324.223,"endTime":1325.933,"body":"what humor is for,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1326.633,"endTime":1327.983,"body":"Yeah, it's a"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1326.633,"endTime":1327.983,"body":"good defense mechanism."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1328.043,"endTime":1328.753,"body":"One of my favourites."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1328.753,"endTime":1330.293,"body":"It's a defence"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1328.753,"endTime":1330.293,"body":"mechanism, it's to"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1330.293,"endTime":1331.223,"body":"release tension."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1331.493,"endTime":1334.089,"body":"It's what we do when"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1331.493,"endTime":1334.089,"body":"we feel under threat."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1334.213,"endTime":1338.983,"body":"laughter is a threat"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1334.213,"endTime":1338.983,"body":"response, so it's no surprise."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1339.177,"endTime":1341.697,"body":"We've talked about that in"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1339.177,"endTime":1341.697,"body":"the past about black humor"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1341.819,"endTime":1343.4089999999999,"body":"in one of our episodes."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1343.627,"endTime":1346.3129999999999,"body":"So it is no surprise"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1343.627,"endTime":1346.3129999999999,"body":"that humor tends to go"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1346.3129999999999,"endTime":1347.273,"body":"along with these things."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1347.3629999999998,"endTime":1352.283,"body":"People can laugh at"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1347.3629999999998,"endTime":1352.283,"body":"funerals,  people will tell"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1352.673,"endTime":1356.153,"body":"funny little stories at"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1352.673,"endTime":1356.153,"body":"funerals, and it's okay."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1356.9189999999999,"endTime":1357.4589999999998,"body":"Well, again."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1357.55,"endTime":1358.383,"body":"That's my viewpoint."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1358.443,"endTime":1360.663,"body":"There will be other people"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1358.443,"endTime":1360.663,"body":"who might be offended by it,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1360.7379999999998,"endTime":1361.068,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1361.158,"endTime":1361.638,"body":"Yeah, there might."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1361.643,"endTime":1361.8229999999999,"body":"be."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1362.3329999999999,"endTime":1364.763,"body":"But you can laugh one"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1362.3329999999999,"endTime":1364.763,"body":"minute and cry the next."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1364.8529999999998,"endTime":1366.5929999999998,"body":"And like we say, that's okay."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1366.983,"endTime":1370.643,"body":"You can laugh at something"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1366.983,"endTime":1370.643,"body":"that happened that they"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1370.643,"endTime":1374.873,"body":"did when they were alive,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1370.643,"endTime":1374.873,"body":"and then you can remember"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1374.873,"endTime":1376.828,"body":"that nothing like that is"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1374.873,"endTime":1376.828,"body":"ever gonna happen again."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1376.888,"endTime":1377.878,"body":"Not quite like that."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1377.9379999999999,"endTime":1379.078,"body":"Not with them anyway."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1379.528,"endTime":1382.028,"body":"And it'll make you"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1379.528,"endTime":1382.028,"body":"sad then you cry."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1382.508,"endTime":1385.557,"body":"At my, aunt in-law's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1382.508,"endTime":1385.557,"body":"funeral, her favorite"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1385.557,"endTime":1389.397,"body":"joke was the Chinese"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1385.557,"endTime":1389.397,"body":"dentist appointment at"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1389.4869999999999,"endTime":1390.2069999999999,"body":"Two 30."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1390.59,"endTime":1393.1699999999998,"body":"and her funeral was at two 30."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1393.261,"endTime":1396.6609999999998,"body":"And so we had, we had a nice"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1393.261,"endTime":1396.6609999999998,"body":"little giggle about that, so"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1396.666,"endTime":1399.223,"body":"we didn't choose the time, we"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1396.666,"endTime":1399.223,"body":"were just allocated the time."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1399.262,"endTime":1402.78,"body":"But we, we had a, a"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1399.262,"endTime":1402.78,"body":"little chuckle about that."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1402.9299999999998,"endTime":1403.6,"body":"It was nice."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1403.9299999999998,"endTime":1406.9299999999998,"body":"Her Chinese dentist"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1403.9299999999998,"endTime":1406.9299999999998,"body":"did not find it funny."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1407.6299999999999,"endTime":1408.29,"body":"This is true."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1408.37,"endTime":1410.99,"body":"It's a, it is a joke"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1408.37,"endTime":1410.99,"body":"from a long time ago,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1410.99,"endTime":1413.54,"body":"but it probably is still"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1410.99,"endTime":1413.54,"body":"in crackers, somewhere"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1414.3049999999998,"endTime":1415.145,"body":"Oh, I hope not."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1415.205,"endTime":1416.915,"body":"Oh my God, no."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1417.155,"endTime":1420.096,"body":"Oh, there's lots of"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1417.155,"endTime":1420.096,"body":"reasons why that should"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1420.096,"endTime":1422.0159999999998,"body":"not be in a cracker"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1422.873,"endTime":1424.5549999999998,"body":"But that's not my"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1422.873,"endTime":1424.5549999999998,"body":"decision to make."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1425.2549999999999,"endTime":1427.8229999999999,"body":"It's not up to me whether"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1425.2549999999999,"endTime":1427.8229999999999,"body":"that's inappropriate or not."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1428.3029999999999,"endTime":1432.433,"body":"As with everything, it's up"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1428.3029999999999,"endTime":1432.433,"body":"to the, the person it's about."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1433.163,"endTime":1437.6889999999999,"body":"And if it's inappropriate for"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1433.163,"endTime":1437.6889999999999,"body":"you to talk about the person"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1437.6889999999999,"endTime":1441.989,"body":"that died to laugh about"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1437.6889999999999,"endTime":1441.989,"body":"what they did, then don't."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1442.6889999999999,"endTime":1445.239,"body":"But if it feels"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1442.6889999999999,"endTime":1445.239,"body":"right, then do it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1445.749,"endTime":1446.7089999999998,"body":"It's fine."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1446.9189999999999,"endTime":1447.9689999999998,"body":"It really is."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1448.6589999999999,"endTime":1452.049,"body":"There are no rules when"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1448.6589999999999,"endTime":1452.049,"body":"it comes to grieving"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1452.139,"endTime":1453.2189999999998,"body":"other than one."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1453.879,"endTime":1456.109,"body":"Which is there are no rules."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1456.4089999999999,"endTime":1457.639,"body":"That's the only rule."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1457.995,"endTime":1461.095,"body":"Do it your way and yeah,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1457.995,"endTime":1461.095,"body":"if five years down the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1461.1,"endTime":1465.0049999999999,"body":"line things don't feel any"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1461.1,"endTime":1465.0049999999999,"body":"different at all, it might"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1465.0049999999999,"endTime":1469.1,"body":"well be worth exploring how"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1465.0049999999999,"endTime":1469.1,"body":"that got so stuck and the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1469.1,"endTime":1472.5919999999999,"body":"meaning behind his passing"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1469.1,"endTime":1472.5919999999999,"body":"to you, unconsciously."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1472.5919999999999,"endTime":1474.648,"body":"My, dad died 10 years ago."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1474.781,"endTime":1475.5169999999998,"body":"and six weeks."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1475.576,"endTime":1476.606,"body":"Cause it was November."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1476.993,"endTime":1478.5829999999999,"body":"I know I made a podcast"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1476.993,"endTime":1478.5829999999999,"body":"episode at the time."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1478.5829999999999,"endTime":1481.8629999999998,"body":"So long-term listeners"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1478.5829999999999,"endTime":1481.8629999999998,"body":"may well remember"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1481.923,"endTime":1483.1109999999999,"body":"that my dad died."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1483.201,"endTime":1485.421,"body":"Cause I did make a podcast"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1483.201,"endTime":1485.421,"body":"episode on the day."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1485.951,"endTime":1487.311,"body":"How I held it"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1485.951,"endTime":1487.311,"body":"together, I don't know."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1487.586,"endTime":1488.636,"body":"Yeah, it's been 10 years."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1488.876,"endTime":1491.306,"body":"My brain sometimes"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1488.876,"endTime":1491.306,"body":"forgets that he died."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1491.876,"endTime":1493.5259999999998,"body":"I think I maybe cuz"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1491.876,"endTime":1493.5259999999998,"body":"I knew I was gonna be"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1493.5259999999998,"endTime":1496.636,"body":"talking about this today."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1496.636,"endTime":1500.716,"body":"Actually, I dreamt about my"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1496.636,"endTime":1500.716,"body":"dad last night and his dog."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1501.346,"endTime":1506.549,"body":"That died back in"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1501.346,"endTime":1506.549,"body":"1993, something like"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1506.549,"endTime":1508.499,"body":"that, his favorite dog."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1509.009,"endTime":1512.9389999999999,"body":"One of the few times I saw"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1509.009,"endTime":1512.9389999999999,"body":"my dad cry, which is good"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1513.4489999999998,"endTime":1516.299,"body":"that he could, but sad"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1513.4489999999998,"endTime":1516.299,"body":"that that's probably one of"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1516.299,"endTime":1519.4189999999999,"body":"the only times that I did,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1516.299,"endTime":1519.4189999999999,"body":"because that's odd but hey."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1519.599,"endTime":1519.839,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1520.6989999999998,"endTime":1524.579,"body":"And yeah, I dreamt about those"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1520.6989999999998,"endTime":1524.579,"body":"two last night because my"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1524.579,"endTime":1529.9189999999999,"body":"brain was playing over that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1524.579,"endTime":1529.9189999999999,"body":"that person exists and I knew"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1529.9189999999999,"endTime":1532.7089999999998,"body":"today, this morning I was"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1529.9189999999999,"endTime":1532.7089999999998,"body":"gonna be talking about this."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1532.799,"endTime":1534.149,"body":"So made me dream about it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1534.2089999999998,"endTime":1538.139,"body":"That's what the brain does"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1534.2089999999998,"endTime":1538.139,"body":"and Kate and everybody"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1538.139,"endTime":1540.779,"body":"going through something"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1538.139,"endTime":1540.779,"body":"similar, you're going to."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1541.6789999999999,"endTime":1543.599,"body":"You absolutely will,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1541.6789999999999,"endTime":1543.599,"body":"cuz there's gonna be a"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1543.599,"endTime":1547.196,"body":"part of your brain that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1543.599,"endTime":1547.196,"body":"doesn't know that they're"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1547.196,"endTime":1548.2459999999999,"body":"not around anymore."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1548.2459999999999,"endTime":1549.893,"body":"Because they're still"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1548.2459999999999,"endTime":1549.893,"body":"there in your brain."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1549.893,"endTime":1551.273,"body":"They're still there"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1549.893,"endTime":1551.273,"body":"in your heart."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1551.873,"endTime":1552.753,"body":"And it'll come out."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1552.753,"endTime":1553.808,"body":"Still part of you."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1553.9879999999998,"endTime":1554.378,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1555.008,"endTime":1557.498,"body":"I know that whenever I"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1555.008,"endTime":1557.498,"body":"dream about my mother,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1557.498,"endTime":1558.663,"body":"she died three years ago."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1559.533,"endTime":1562.203,"body":"Whenever I dream of my"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1559.533,"endTime":1562.203,"body":"mother, she has dark hair"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1562.8029999999999,"endTime":1564.3329999999999,"body":"cuz she was very dark."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1564.338,"endTime":1565.203,"body":"I mean, I'm blonde."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1565.263,"endTime":1566.253,"body":"She was very dark."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1566.3129999999999,"endTime":1567.933,"body":"Nobody ever thought"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1566.3129999999999,"endTime":1567.933,"body":"that we looked alike"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1567.933,"endTime":1568.8029999999999,"body":"because of her hair."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1569.433,"endTime":1572.433,"body":"Although she then she"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1569.433,"endTime":1572.433,"body":"didn't want to go gray, so"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1572.433,"endTime":1573.753,"body":"she went blonde instead."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1574.453,"endTime":1577.123,"body":"Soon as she went blonde,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1574.453,"endTime":1577.123,"body":"people started noticing"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1577.123,"endTime":1577.903,"body":"we looked alike."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1578.099,"endTime":1580.1779999999999,"body":"And I sometimes look in"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1578.099,"endTime":1580.1779999999999,"body":"the mirror and see her,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1580.183,"endTime":1581.288,"body":"which is very strange."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1581.408,"endTime":1584.018,"body":"But no, when I dream"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1581.408,"endTime":1584.018,"body":"about her, she's back"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1584.018,"endTime":1585.998,"body":"in the dark haired days."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1586.028,"endTime":1589.4279999999999,"body":"I never see her in"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1586.028,"endTime":1589.4279999999999,"body":"her blonde days, which"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1589.4279999999999,"endTime":1592.248,"body":"would've been about the"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1589.4279999999999,"endTime":1592.248,"body":"last 20 years of her life."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1592.4579999999999,"endTime":1592.618,"body":"Hmm."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1593.148,"endTime":1594.9779999999998,"body":"So I do find that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1593.148,"endTime":1594.9779999999998,"body":"quite interesting that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1595.261,"endTime":1598.091,"body":"those deeper levels of my"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1595.261,"endTime":1598.091,"body":"mind have the mother that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1598.091,"endTime":1599.021,"body":"I had when I was young."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1599.3709999999999,"endTime":1601.8999999999999,"body":"sometimes something"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1599.3709999999999,"endTime":1601.8999999999999,"body":"will pop into my head and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1601.8999999999999,"endTime":1604.6399999999999,"body":"I'll think I'll tell my"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1601.8999999999999,"endTime":1604.6399999999999,"body":"dad that, no you won't."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1604.8799999999999,"endTime":1607.7,"body":"Or I can do, but not"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1604.8799999999999,"endTime":1607.7,"body":"in the traditional way."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1608.03,"endTime":1611.09,"body":"Maybe I write a letter and set"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1608.03,"endTime":1611.09,"body":"fire to it on New Year's Eve."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1611.975,"endTime":1613.77,"body":"difficult topic."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1614.165,"endTime":1618.165,"body":"the intent for me of"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1614.165,"endTime":1618.165,"body":"this episode is what Richard's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1618.185,"endTime":1622.245,"body":"just said there of do it"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1618.185,"endTime":1622.245,"body":"your way and that it's okay."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1622.945,"endTime":1626.876,"body":"That's really what I want"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1622.945,"endTime":1626.876,"body":"to help people just to go."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1627.806,"endTime":1628.2259999999999,"body":"Oh yeah."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1628.926,"endTime":1631.991,"body":"And that really is pretty"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1628.926,"endTime":1631.991,"body":"much all that we can do."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1632.3809999999999,"endTime":1635.808,"body":"Think it is probably worth"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1632.3809999999999,"endTime":1635.808,"body":"just saying that it's not just"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1636.168,"endTime":1637.608,"body":"about people that we lose."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1637.668,"endTime":1642.108,"body":"It can be animals and people"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1637.668,"endTime":1642.108,"body":"don't have to die in order"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1642.1129999999998,"endTime":1645.27,"body":"to, yeah, people don't have"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1642.1129999999998,"endTime":1645.27,"body":"to die in order to lose them."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1645.27,"endTime":1648.649,"body":"You can have relationship"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1645.27,"endTime":1648.649,"body":"breakups, friends that you"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1648.649,"endTime":1651.692,"body":"fall out with people could"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1648.649,"endTime":1651.692,"body":"just go and live somewhere"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1651.782,"endTime":1655.172,"body":"else that you have all the,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1651.782,"endTime":1655.172,"body":"oh, we'll keep in touch"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1655.172,"endTime":1656.162,"body":"and then it doesn't happen."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1656.162,"endTime":1657.572,"body":"And, you know, those"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1656.162,"endTime":1657.572,"body":"sorts of things."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1657.888,"endTime":1663.6589999999999,"body":"You can have grief over lost"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1657.888,"endTime":1663.6589999999999,"body":"objects, lost experiences."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1664.009,"endTime":1667.399,"body":"Ways of being all sorts of"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1664.009,"endTime":1667.399,"body":"losses that you can have."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1667.4859999999999,"endTime":1670.4859999999999,"body":"So the process"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1667.4859999999999,"endTime":1670.4859999999999,"body":"is much the same."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1671.32,"endTime":1673.683,"body":"it's especially"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1671.32,"endTime":1673.683,"body":"difficult if it is somebody"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1673.6879999999999,"endTime":1676.3029999999999,"body":"that's still alive that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1673.6879999999999,"endTime":1676.3029999999999,"body":"you've lost because they're"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1676.3029999999999,"endTime":1678.243,"body":"there on your social"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1676.3029999999999,"endTime":1678.243,"body":"media feeds sometimes."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1679.463,"endTime":1683.156,"body":"Block those people so that"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1679.463,"endTime":1683.156,"body":"you don't see their updates,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1683.3629999999998,"endTime":1687.233,"body":"there's a time and a place to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1683.3629999999998,"endTime":1687.233,"body":"know that they're still there,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1687.503,"endTime":1690.5629999999999,"body":"because then there's the extra"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1687.503,"endTime":1690.5629999999999,"body":"grief of what could have been."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1691.52,"endTime":1695.96,"body":"Not so easy to get to the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1691.52,"endTime":1695.96,"body":"acceptance stage for want"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1695.96,"endTime":1699.47,"body":"of a better phrase, and"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1695.96,"endTime":1699.47,"body":"get stuck in the denial."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1699.95,"endTime":1703.73,"body":"Really, especially at the very"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1699.95,"endTime":1703.73,"body":"beginning of a relationship"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1704.1499999999999,"endTime":1706.34,"body":"breakup or a, a divorce."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1706.5359999999998,"endTime":1708.606,"body":"Denial is where people"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1706.5359999999998,"endTime":1708.606,"body":"tend to get stuck."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1708.606,"endTime":1710.346,"body":"No, this, this"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1708.606,"endTime":1710.346,"body":"isn't happening."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1710.346,"endTime":1711.0059999999999,"body":"This isn't happening."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1711.0059999999999,"endTime":1711.846,"body":"We're not splitting up."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1711.966,"endTime":1713.836,"body":"No, no, no, no, no,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1711.966,"endTime":1713.836,"body":"no, no, no, no, no, no."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1715.2259999999999,"endTime":1719.396,"body":"They can get stuck there"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1715.2259999999999,"endTime":1719.396,"body":"for months and it's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1719.396,"endTime":1722.2459999999999,"body":"gotta be a two-way street"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1719.396,"endTime":1722.2459999999999,"body":"and that's so painful."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1723.086,"endTime":1724.556,"body":"So painful to go through."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1725.1779999999999,"endTime":1727.953,"body":"To end up accepting"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1725.1779999999999,"endTime":1727.953,"body":"Yeah, this is how it is."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1729.2459999999999,"endTime":1731.97,"body":"And, that's something for"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1729.2459999999999,"endTime":1731.97,"body":"you to experience your way."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1732.3899999999999,"endTime":1735.36,"body":"Well definitely urge"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1732.3899999999999,"endTime":1735.36,"body":"people to talk about it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1735.3899999999999,"endTime":1737.01,"body":"And the meaning behind it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1737.35,"endTime":1739.4199999999998,"body":"what's the meaning"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1737.35,"endTime":1739.4199999999998,"body":"behind that loss?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1740.3799999999999,"endTime":1743.85,"body":"Do you ever the repair"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1740.3799999999999,"endTime":1743.85,"body":"shop on BBC Fiona?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1744.273,"endTime":1746.733,"body":"Do you know The Repair"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1744.273,"endTime":1746.733,"body":"Shop started recording on my"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1746.733,"endTime":1748.773,"body":"sky box on its own this week?"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1748.828,"endTime":1749.608,"body":"That's creepy."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1749.72,"endTime":1750.74,"body":"Yeah, I didn't"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1751.0549999999998,"endTime":1751.655,"body":"It's a sweet show."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1752.195,"endTime":1752.675,"body":"I like it."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1752.753,"endTime":1753.5629999999999,"body":"Yes, yes."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1753.5629999999999,"endTime":1756.0529999999999,"body":"It's one of those ones"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1753.5629999999999,"endTime":1756.0529999999999,"body":"that I sort of watch little"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1756.0529999999999,"endTime":1757.0729999999999,"body":"bits of occasionally."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1757.373,"endTime":1759.263,"body":"I'd love them to do"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1757.373,"endTime":1759.263,"body":"the toy box that my"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1759.263,"endTime":1760.403,"body":"grandfather made for me."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1760.408,"endTime":1761.5729999999999,"body":"That's sitting in my shed,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1762.8329999999999,"endTime":1764.0929999999998,"body":"but it's just a box,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1765.058,"endTime":1766.4479999999999,"body":"there's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1765.058,"endTime":1766.4479999999999,"body":"not much to repair."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1766.4479999999999,"endTime":1767.138,"body":"Just a box."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1767.414,"endTime":1772.2949999999998,"body":"When somebody brings in a"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1767.414,"endTime":1772.2949999999998,"body":"box and it's just a box means"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1772.2949999999998,"endTime":1776.705,"body":"nothing, and then they tidy"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1772.2949999999998,"endTime":1776.705,"body":"it up, replace any leather"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1776.705,"endTime":1780.3049999999998,"body":"on the cushion or whatever it"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1776.705,"endTime":1780.3049999999998,"body":"it is, and it looks amazing."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1781.635,"endTime":1784.557,"body":"however long later, lift"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1781.635,"endTime":1784.557,"body":"the cloth up, display"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1784.557,"endTime":1785.7269999999999,"body":"it, and go, TA-da."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1785.7569999999998,"endTime":1787.797,"body":"And the person burst"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1785.7569999999998,"endTime":1787.797,"body":"into tears because"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1787.797,"endTime":1789.357,"body":"it means something."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1790.002,"endTime":1790.422,"body":"Hmm."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1790.577,"endTime":1791.427,"body":"It's just a box."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1791.716,"endTime":1793.156,"body":"It's nothing to most people."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1793.396,"endTime":1794.5359999999998,"body":"It's nothing to"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1793.396,"endTime":1794.5359999999998,"body":"everybody else."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1794.5359999999998,"endTime":1797.206,"body":"It's nothing to nearly 8"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1794.5359999999998,"endTime":1797.206,"body":"billion people, but for"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1797.206,"endTime":1799.876,"body":"you, it means something."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1800.056,"endTime":1801.543,"body":"And that's worth exploring."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1801.6599999999999,"endTime":1803.75,"body":"the repair shop"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1801.6599999999999,"endTime":1803.75,"body":"fascinating in the way that"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1803.7549999999999,"endTime":1806.248,"body":"it shows how much objects"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1803.7549999999999,"endTime":1806.248,"body":"can mean to people and"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1806.248,"endTime":1808.558,"body":"the connections to others."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1808.7379999999998,"endTime":1810.808,"body":"I've got a few of my"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1808.7379999999998,"endTime":1810.808,"body":"grandfathers, but it's"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1810.808,"endTime":1813.148,"body":"a little table I have"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1810.808,"endTime":1813.148,"body":"sitting next to me here."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1813.57,"endTime":1817.74,"body":"Was his smoking table and"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1813.57,"endTime":1817.74,"body":"I've painted it and put"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1817.9299999999998,"endTime":1823.23,"body":"glittery little stones along"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1817.9299999999998,"endTime":1823.23,"body":"the top, so it's lovely"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1823.4099999999999,"endTime":1824.993,"body":"and I put my things on it."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1824.998,"endTime":1826.3429999999998,"body":"My tea or wine"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1827.268,"endTime":1828.4879999999998,"body":"It's all"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1827.268,"endTime":1828.4879999999998,"body":"coming out now."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1828.4879999999998,"endTime":1829.2379999999998,"body":"Happy New Year,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1830.808,"endTime":1832.7279999999998,"body":"Well, I haven't"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1830.808,"endTime":1832.7279999999998,"body":"got wine right now, but"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1832.788,"endTime":1834.168,"body":"when I do, it'll be on"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1834.213,"endTime":1835.383,"body":"Well, it's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1834.213,"endTime":1835.383,"body":"nearly 11 o'clock."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1835.383,"endTime":1837.393,"body":"We record this on a"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1835.383,"endTime":1837.393,"body":"Friday morning, so yeah,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1837.393,"endTime":1838.3529999999998,"body":"it's almost 11 o'clock."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1838.3529999999998,"endTime":1839.883,"body":"Fiona, you'll be able"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1838.3529999999998,"endTime":1839.883,"body":"to crack open the wine."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1840.123,"endTime":1841.143,"body":"Oh, you got a"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1840.123,"endTime":1841.143,"body":"meeting, haven't you?"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1842.713,"endTime":1844.8129999999999,"body":"I've got all"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1842.713,"endTime":1844.8129999999999,"body":"sorts of meetings today."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1844.8529999999998,"endTime":1847.773,"body":"Yes, this is not, this"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1844.8529999999998,"endTime":1847.773,"body":"is not the time for wine,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1848.433,"endTime":1849.0929999999998,"body":"but later."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1849.403,"endTime":1850.3029999999999,"body":"yes, of course."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1850.433,"endTime":1851.8429999999998,"body":"I guess we'd better love"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1850.433,"endTime":1851.8429999999998,"body":"them and leave them."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1852.263,"endTime":1856.523,"body":"Fiona, there's a lot of"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1852.263,"endTime":1856.523,"body":"podcast series out there,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1856.523,"endTime":1858.503,"body":"specifically about grief."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1859.463,"endTime":1863.0629999999999,"body":"Certainly put a little search"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1859.463,"endTime":1863.0629999999999,"body":"into the search function of"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1863.0629999999999,"endTime":1866.3029999999999,"body":"your podcast app and you'll"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1863.0629999999999,"endTime":1866.3029999999999,"body":"see so many different, whether"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1866.3029999999999,"endTime":1869.3329999999999,"body":"they're therapists or it's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1866.3029999999999,"endTime":1869.3329999999999,"body":"people going through their"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1869.3329999999999,"endTime":1872.873,"body":"own stories or somebody that's"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1869.3329999999999,"endTime":1872.873,"body":"got a story to tell and then"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1872.878,"endTime":1874.793,"body":"they're interviewing other"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1872.878,"endTime":1874.793,"body":"people about their stories."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1875.0629999999999,"endTime":1877.733,"body":"Cariad Lloyd, she does a"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1875.0629999999999,"endTime":1877.733,"body":"podcast called Grief Cast"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1877.733,"endTime":1878.903,"body":"on that won an award."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1878.903,"endTime":1881.873,"body":"I think it's won a couple"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1878.903,"endTime":1881.873,"body":"of awards, I think possibly."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1882.4769999999999,"endTime":1883.2269999999999,"body":"That's really nice."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1883.2569999999998,"endTime":1883.947,"body":"It's really sweet."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1884.0069999999998,"endTime":1885.867,"body":"It, it's, it's good to get"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1884.0069999999998,"endTime":1885.867,"body":"your head around the fact"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1885.867,"endTime":1888.867,"body":"that, okay, I'm not alone in"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1885.867,"endTime":1888.867,"body":"feeling these sorts of things."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1888.867,"endTime":1890.5169999999998,"body":"It's okay to feel this."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1890.693,"endTime":1891.773,"body":"It's normal."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1891.8629999999998,"endTime":1892.883,"body":"It's okay."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1893.453,"endTime":1894.533,"body":"That can be quite useful."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1895.043,"endTime":1895.973,"body":"It really, really can."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1896.3229999999999,"endTime":1897.1029999999998,"body":"it's okay."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1897.163,"endTime":1898.003,"body":"It's yours."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1898.0629999999999,"endTime":1901.243,"body":"Your way of doing it,"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1898.0629999999999,"endTime":1901.243,"body":"and be kind to yourself."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1901.633,"endTime":1902.373,"body":"That's what I'd say."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1902.743,"endTime":1905.432,"body":"Now, I'm a cheery"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1902.743,"endTime":1905.432,"body":"guy, so I do try to put a"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1905.8519999999999,"endTime":1906.662,"body":"positive spin on everything."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1906.662,"endTime":1910.802,"body":"And yes, like, like a lot"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1906.662,"endTime":1910.802,"body":"of times therapy and talking"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1910.802,"endTime":1913.0819999999999,"body":"about the things that get"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1910.802,"endTime":1913.0819999999999,"body":"brought up in therapy can"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1913.0819999999999,"endTime":1917.792,"body":"be a little sad, and I hope"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1913.0819999999999,"endTime":1917.792,"body":"we can, we can do this in"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1917.797,"endTime":1921.792,"body":"a respectful way that finds"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1917.797,"endTime":1921.792,"body":"a, a balance between too"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1921.812,"endTime":1923.712,"body":"cheery but not cheery enough."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1923.927,"endTime":1925.847,"body":"I think I, I try to sit"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1923.927,"endTime":1925.847,"body":"there even though I've"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1925.847,"endTime":1928.907,"body":"been labeled as annoyingly"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1925.847,"endTime":1928.907,"body":"cheerful multiple times."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1930.288,"endTime":1930.7379999999998,"body":"Right."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1931.11,"endTime":1931.95,"body":"Let's leave them to it."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1931.95,"endTime":1932.413,"body":"Fiona"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1932.983,"endTime":1934.8429999999998,"body":"Have a super new year."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1934.993,"endTime":1935.203,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1935.203,"endTime":1935.653,"body":"Happy New"},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1935.653,"endTime":1935.923,"body":"Year"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1935.983,"endTime":1936.8529999999998,"body":"happy New Year."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1937.3329999999999,"endTime":1939.3429999999998,"body":"We'll be back next week"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1937.3329999999999,"endTime":1939.3429999999998,"body":"and if you've got any"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1939.433,"endTime":1942.3429999999998,"body":"questions or topic ideas,"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1939.433,"endTime":1942.3429999999998,"body":"you know where to find us."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1942.3429999999998,"endTime":1944.923,"body":"There's a link in the"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1942.3429999999998,"endTime":1944.923,"body":"show notes, so we will"},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1944.923,"endTime":1946.423,"body":"speak to you next week."},{"speaker":"Richard","startTime":1946.633,"endTime":1947.5929999999998,"body":"Take care folks."},{"speaker":"Fiona","startTime":1948.733,"endTime":1948.973,"body":"Bye."}]}