{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":39.806,"endTime":43.346000000000004,"body":"It's episode 50, Therapy"},{"startTime":39.806,"endTime":43.346000000000004,"body":"Natters is officially"},{"startTime":43.666,"endTime":44.976,"body":"quinquagenarian."},{"startTime":44.996,"endTime":48.296,"body":"Is that the word , which"},{"startTime":44.996,"endTime":48.296,"body":"means that the Therapy"},{"startTime":48.296,"endTime":49.706,"body":"Natters podcast is gonna be."},{"startTime":50.406,"endTime":51.786,"body":"It's, it's a year old now."},{"startTime":52.056,"endTime":54.066,"body":"Well, actually, the, the,"},{"startTime":52.056,"endTime":54.066,"body":"the pilot episode of this"},{"startTime":54.066,"endTime":57.336,"body":"went out to my patrons on"},{"startTime":54.066,"endTime":57.336,"body":"Valentine's Day last year."},{"startTime":57.336,"endTime":58.896,"body":"So it is officially"},{"startTime":57.336,"endTime":58.896,"body":"a year old."},{"startTime":58.896,"endTime":59.316,"body":"Really?"},{"startTime":59.316,"endTime":61.236000000000004,"body":"We just haven't done"},{"startTime":59.316,"endTime":61.236000000000004,"body":"52 episodes yet."},{"startTime":61.686,"endTime":62.736,"body":"How are you Fiona?"},{"startTime":62.796,"endTime":65.76599999999999,"body":"Are you feeling like a,"},{"startTime":62.796,"endTime":65.76599999999999,"body":"a, a quinquagenarian?"},{"startTime":66.138,"endTime":67.488,"body":"you just made that word up?"},{"startTime":68.208,"endTime":69.138,"body":"No, it's a real word."},{"startTime":69.768,"endTime":71.388,"body":"I did Google it cause"},{"startTime":69.768,"endTime":71.388,"body":"I thought it was"},{"startTime":71.678,"endTime":72.94800000000001,"body":"Quinta, but it's not."},{"startTime":72.94800000000001,"endTime":74.24799999999999,"body":"It's quinquagenarian."},{"startTime":74.268,"endTime":75.168,"body":"Just to be weird."},{"startTime":75.648,"endTime":78.25800000000001,"body":"I just, if well, I'll"},{"startTime":75.648,"endTime":78.25800000000001,"body":"just stick with 50"},{"startTime":78.25800000000001,"endTime":79.518,"body":"or half a century."},{"startTime":79.936,"endTime":82.096,"body":"That'll do, but no,"},{"startTime":79.936,"endTime":82.096,"body":"I cannot believe it."},{"startTime":82.156,"endTime":83.086,"body":"No, I really can't."},{"startTime":83.086,"endTime":85.696,"body":"It's gone so quickly"},{"startTime":83.086,"endTime":85.696,"body":"and we've still"},{"startTime":85.74600000000001,"endTime":87.331,"body":"we talked about"},{"startTime":85.74600000000001,"endTime":87.331,"body":"doing this forever."},{"startTime":87.406,"endTime":88.096,"body":"on our list."},{"startTime":88.275,"endTime":88.63499999999999,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":88.695,"endTime":90.225,"body":"We're never gonna stop"},{"startTime":88.695,"endTime":90.225,"body":"talking about this."},{"startTime":90.255,"endTime":90.495,"body":"Are we?"},{"startTime":91.195,"endTime":92.425,"body":"Plenty still to go."},{"startTime":92.741,"endTime":96.34,"body":"Yeah, I put a little post out"},{"startTime":92.741,"endTime":96.34,"body":"to my patrons on Patreon to"},{"startTime":96.34,"endTime":99.31,"body":"say whether it be in episode"},{"startTime":96.34,"endTime":99.31,"body":"50, we want to do things"},{"startTime":99.31,"endTime":104.83000000000001,"body":"about being 50 . Do you have"},{"startTime":99.31,"endTime":104.83000000000001,"body":"any comments or questions?"},{"startTime":105.25,"endTime":108.62,"body":"Because it was, it was Jack,"},{"startTime":105.25,"endTime":108.62,"body":"was it Jack or Greg that"},{"startTime":108.62,"endTime":111.02000000000001,"body":"said, Hey, you should do"},{"startTime":108.62,"endTime":111.02000000000001,"body":"something about, you should"},{"startTime":111.02000000000001,"endTime":112.16,"body":"have a party or something"},{"startTime":112.20500000000001,"endTime":112.565,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":112.565,"endTime":114.695,"body":"I can't remember which one"},{"startTime":112.565,"endTime":114.695,"body":"it was, but somebody did."},{"startTime":114.695,"endTime":115.14500000000001,"body":"Yes."},{"startTime":115.83500000000001,"endTime":116.195,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":116.555,"endTime":119.77000000000001,"body":"And that led us to"},{"startTime":116.555,"endTime":119.77000000000001,"body":"think about midlife."},{"startTime":120.02600000000001,"endTime":120.566,"body":"Yes."},{"startTime":120.89599999999999,"endTime":125.066,"body":"And that famous phrase"},{"startTime":120.89599999999999,"endTime":125.066,"body":"of a midlife crisis."},{"startTime":125.21600000000001,"endTime":129.449,"body":"No one talks about a,"},{"startTime":125.21600000000001,"endTime":129.449,"body":"a midlife existential"},{"startTime":130.549,"endTime":131.529,"body":"satisfaction."},{"startTime":132.179,"endTime":132.719,"body":"Do they?"},{"startTime":133.634,"endTime":134.264,"body":"Why not?"},{"startTime":134.594,"endTime":136.004,"body":"Shouldn't that be our focus?"},{"startTime":136.004,"endTime":140.864,"body":"That the, the middle of our"},{"startTime":136.004,"endTime":140.864,"body":"life goes, ah, this is nice."},{"startTime":141.614,"endTime":143.054,"body":"The kids have gone off to uni."},{"startTime":143.414,"endTime":144.524,"body":"I can do what I like."},{"startTime":144.614,"endTime":145.634,"body":"I've got more space."},{"startTime":145.634,"endTime":146.774,"body":"I can make more noise."},{"startTime":146.834,"endTime":147.404,"body":"Whoop whoop."},{"startTime":148.034,"endTime":148.544,"body":"Ooh."},{"startTime":148.724,"endTime":149.654,"body":"Is that what it is?"},{"startTime":149.834,"endTime":150.914,"body":"Is that what causes it?"},{"startTime":151.184,"endTime":152.804,"body":"Now that people have got"},{"startTime":151.184,"endTime":152.804,"body":"more time, they've got"},{"startTime":152.809,"endTime":156.614,"body":"more time to think, and"},{"startTime":152.809,"endTime":156.614,"body":"they go, oh, oh dear."},{"startTime":157.064,"endTime":158.414,"body":"And then they're"},{"startTime":157.064,"endTime":158.414,"body":"full of regret,"},{"startTime":160.54399999999998,"endTime":162.344,"body":"You are going off down"},{"startTime":160.54399999999998,"endTime":162.344,"body":"a path, aren't you?"},{"startTime":162.344,"endTime":166.094,"body":"And then you took a turn"},{"startTime":162.344,"endTime":166.094,"body":"because it, I think you"},{"startTime":166.094,"endTime":168.584,"body":"probably, you know, at"},{"startTime":166.094,"endTime":168.584,"body":"that point kids go to the"},{"startTime":168.584,"endTime":173.32399999999998,"body":"university and you've got more"},{"startTime":168.584,"endTime":173.32399999999998,"body":"time, you are at crossroads"},{"startTime":173.32399999999998,"endTime":174.404,"body":"or a fork in the road."},{"startTime":174.404,"endTime":178.57399999999998,"body":"That would be better and you"},{"startTime":174.404,"endTime":178.57399999999998,"body":"can choose which way you go."},{"startTime":179.29399999999998,"endTime":183.897,"body":"I would think I've certainly"},{"startTime":179.29399999999998,"endTime":183.897,"body":"personally mostly gone down"},{"startTime":183.897,"endTime":189.07999999999998,"body":"the positive route, although,"},{"startTime":183.897,"endTime":189.07999999999998,"body":"There are some puddles on"},{"startTime":189.07999999999998,"endTime":193.51999999999998,"body":"the road and some hills and"},{"startTime":189.07999999999998,"endTime":193.51999999999998,"body":"rocky bits and potholes."},{"startTime":193.51999999999998,"endTime":196.85899999999998,"body":"You know, it's not a smooth"},{"startTime":193.51999999999998,"endTime":196.85899999999998,"body":"road, but definitely positive"},{"startTime":196.85899999999998,"endTime":199.549,"body":"sometimes the, wind"},{"startTime":196.85899999999998,"endTime":199.549,"body":"blows you over."},{"startTime":199.939,"endTime":202.549,"body":"That's what I think of"},{"startTime":199.939,"endTime":202.549,"body":"sometimes that sometimes"},{"startTime":202.549,"endTime":204.739,"body":"you're leaning into the wind"},{"startTime":202.549,"endTime":204.739,"body":"and every step's a little bit"},{"startTime":204.739,"endTime":206.839,"body":"harder, and sometimes the wind"},{"startTime":204.739,"endTime":206.839,"body":"is pushing you forwards and"},{"startTime":206.839,"endTime":207.739,"body":"you're like, where am I going?"},{"startTime":207.739,"endTime":208.279,"body":"Where am I going?"},{"startTime":208.279,"endTime":210.16899999999998,"body":"It's just pushing me,"},{"startTime":208.279,"endTime":210.16899999999998,"body":"oh, where am I going?"},{"startTime":210.174,"endTime":210.94899999999998,"body":"I'm outta control."},{"startTime":211.774,"endTime":212.674,"body":"But yeah, you're right."},{"startTime":212.674,"endTime":215.554,"body":"There isn't a phrase or"},{"startTime":212.674,"endTime":215.554,"body":"not that I'm aware of  for"},{"startTime":215.593,"endTime":219.283,"body":"everything going really well"},{"startTime":215.593,"endTime":219.283,"body":"and exciting in midlife."},{"startTime":219.85299999999998,"endTime":220.183,"body":"We, we"},{"startTime":220.273,"endTime":221.263,"body":"should make one up."},{"startTime":221.37099999999998,"endTime":222.09099999999998,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":222.302,"endTime":224.759,"body":"We should all be celebrating"},{"startTime":222.302,"endTime":224.759,"body":"the midlife opportunities."},{"startTime":225.52599999999998,"endTime":229.382,"body":"If we go back to the term,"},{"startTime":225.52599999999998,"endTime":229.382,"body":"the midlife crisis, which"},{"startTime":229.382,"endTime":232.802,"body":"was coined in the sixties"},{"startTime":229.382,"endTime":232.802,"body":"by a Pschoanalyst called"},{"startTime":232.807,"endTime":237.167,"body":"Elliot Jakes, and He noted"},{"startTime":232.807,"endTime":237.167,"body":"that there were people in"},{"startTime":237.167,"endTime":239.957,"body":"their mid to late thirties"},{"startTime":237.167,"endTime":239.957,"body":"that seemed to go through"},{"startTime":239.957,"endTime":245.327,"body":"this sort of depressive"},{"startTime":239.957,"endTime":245.327,"body":"period and, oh, hang on."},{"startTime":245.332,"endTime":248.027,"body":"Didn't we always used to"},{"startTime":245.332,"endTime":248.027,"body":"say that life begins at 40?"},{"startTime":249.077,"endTime":249.677,"body":"Do you remember?"},{"startTime":250.367,"endTime":251.807,"body":"We don't say that"},{"startTime":250.367,"endTime":251.807,"body":"anymore, do we?"},{"startTime":252.527,"endTime":256.307,"body":"People tend to use it now"},{"startTime":252.527,"endTime":256.307,"body":"to say, oh, we used to say"},{"startTime":256.307,"endTime":259.307,"body":"life, but now it begins at"},{"startTime":256.307,"endTime":259.307,"body":"50, or now it begins at 60."},{"startTime":259.307,"endTime":259.817,"body":"Yes."},{"startTime":260.447,"endTime":262.607,"body":"But that was, I wonder"},{"startTime":260.447,"endTime":262.607,"body":"where that phrase came from."},{"startTime":263.087,"endTime":263.717,"body":"Who said that"},{"startTime":263.972,"endTime":266.342,"body":"Oh, life begins at 40."},{"startTime":266.882,"endTime":268.172,"body":"I dunno, that's an old one."},{"startTime":268.872,"endTime":271.392,"body":"I'll let you Google that"},{"startTime":268.872,"endTime":271.392,"body":"while I have a little natter"},{"startTime":271.392,"endTime":275.201,"body":"about it because I think"},{"startTime":271.392,"endTime":275.201,"body":"cause it obviously goes back"},{"startTime":275.206,"endTime":277.931,"body":"quite away, it would've been"},{"startTime":275.206,"endTime":277.931,"body":"a time when people took 20"},{"startTime":277.931,"endTime":281.021,"body":"year mortgages out when they"},{"startTime":277.931,"endTime":281.021,"body":"were 18 and by the time they"},{"startTime":281.021,"endTime":284.351,"body":"were 40, the mortgage was"},{"startTime":281.021,"endTime":284.351,"body":"paid off and the kids have"},{"startTime":284.351,"endTime":288.731,"body":"flown the nest and yeah,"},{"startTime":284.351,"endTime":288.731,"body":"life begins and they're"},{"startTime":288.731,"endTime":292.151,"body":"young enough and fit enough"},{"startTime":288.731,"endTime":292.151,"body":"to be able to do all the"},{"startTime":292.151,"endTime":293.501,"body":"things that they want to do."},{"startTime":294.716,"endTime":298.256,"body":"Maybe it was about women going"},{"startTime":294.716,"endTime":298.256,"body":"back into the workplace once"},{"startTime":298.256,"endTime":302.036,"body":"the kids grew up because there"},{"startTime":298.256,"endTime":302.036,"body":"was a culture in up until"},{"startTime":302.516,"endTime":307.442,"body":"recently where once the mum"},{"startTime":302.516,"endTime":307.442,"body":"became a mum, She didn't work."},{"startTime":307.952,"endTime":309.962,"body":"Maybe she had a part-time"},{"startTime":307.952,"endTime":309.962,"body":"job in a cake shop or"},{"startTime":309.962,"endTime":311.072,"body":"something like that."},{"startTime":311.822,"endTime":314.552,"body":"And we, I mean, I smile at"},{"startTime":311.822,"endTime":314.552,"body":"that now, the idea that I"},{"startTime":314.552,"endTime":317.072,"body":"would say ever say to my wife,"},{"startTime":314.552,"endTime":317.072,"body":"wait, why don't you just get a"},{"startTime":317.072,"endTime":318.48199999999997,"body":"part-time job in a cake shop?"},{"startTime":318.48199999999997,"endTime":320.228,"body":"Cuz that's what"},{"startTime":318.48199999999997,"endTime":320.228,"body":"mums do, isn't it?"},{"startTime":320.64799999999997,"endTime":322.20799999999997,"body":"And I'm from a working"},{"startTime":320.64799999999997,"endTime":322.20799999999997,"body":"class background."},{"startTime":322.298,"endTime":325.79,"body":"Both my parents worked"},{"startTime":322.298,"endTime":325.79,"body":"and my mom particularly,"},{"startTime":325.92,"endTime":328.62,"body":"I think had two jobs"},{"startTime":325.92,"endTime":328.62,"body":"on the go quite often."},{"startTime":328.96999999999997,"endTime":331.502,"body":"But , for a lot of people"},{"startTime":328.96999999999997,"endTime":331.502,"body":"in other cultures, in other,"},{"startTime":331.822,"endTime":335.772,"body":"say the middle of class"},{"startTime":331.822,"endTime":335.772,"body":"women didn't work and they"},{"startTime":336.152,"endTime":338.262,"body":"probably did get into their"},{"startTime":336.152,"endTime":338.262,"body":"forties and that's when"},{"startTime":338.262,"endTime":341.052,"body":"the female equivalent of"},{"startTime":338.262,"endTime":341.052,"body":"a midlife crisis kicks in."},{"startTime":341.052,"endTime":344.772,"body":"And I say the female"},{"startTime":341.052,"endTime":344.772,"body":"equivalent because one of"},{"startTime":344.777,"endTime":348.402,"body":"my listeners wrote in to say"},{"startTime":344.777,"endTime":348.402,"body":"something along the lines"},{"startTime":348.462,"endTime":351.372,"body":"of, I'll read it out actually"},{"startTime":348.462,"endTime":351.372,"body":"cause I've got it just here."},{"startTime":351.972,"endTime":352.542,"body":"It was Peter."},{"startTime":352.617,"endTime":353.397,"body":"Hello Peter."},{"startTime":353.817,"endTime":357.23699999999997,"body":"He says, is the midlife"},{"startTime":353.817,"endTime":357.23699999999997,"body":"crisis mostly a male thing?"},{"startTime":357.387,"endTime":360.027,"body":"I don't hear the concept"},{"startTime":357.387,"endTime":360.027,"body":"talked about in relation to"},{"startTime":360.027,"endTime":361.617,"body":"women very often, if at all."},{"startTime":361.622,"endTime":362.757,"body":"If so, why?"},{"startTime":363.027,"endTime":364.947,"body":"Is it that women are"},{"startTime":363.027,"endTime":364.947,"body":"more resilient to it?"},{"startTime":365.407,"endTime":366.427,"body":"We can pick that apart."},{"startTime":366.427,"endTime":368.04699999999997,"body":"You can write a"},{"startTime":366.427,"endTime":368.04699999999997,"body":"dissertation on, on"},{"startTime":368.04699999999997,"endTime":369.247,"body":"that and the patriarchy."},{"startTime":370.277,"endTime":371.177,"body":"we certainly could."},{"startTime":371.267,"endTime":373.864,"body":"And just to go"},{"startTime":371.267,"endTime":373.864,"body":"back to the phrase,"},{"startTime":374.504,"endTime":377.894,"body":"it was a book written by"},{"startTime":378.36899999999997,"endTime":378.699,"body":"Probably a man"},{"startTime":378.884,"endTime":380.654,"body":"Walter B Pitkin."},{"startTime":381.204,"endTime":381.62399999999997,"body":"Yep."},{"startTime":381.709,"endTime":382.399,"body":"bloody knew it."},{"startTime":382.759,"endTime":387.319,"body":"Well, presumably called Walter"},{"startTime":382.759,"endTime":387.319,"body":"Walter B Pitkin in 1932."},{"startTime":387.799,"endTime":389.029,"body":"It's a self-help book,"},{"startTime":390.299,"endTime":390.716,"body":"Wow."},{"startTime":390.786,"endTime":393.546,"body":"And written during the"},{"startTime":390.786,"endTime":393.546,"body":"time of a rapid increase"},{"startTime":393.546,"endTime":395.286,"body":"in life expectancy."},{"startTime":395.986,"endTime":399.332,"body":"So at that time, it was around"},{"startTime":395.986,"endTime":399.332,"body":"about 60 life expectancy."},{"startTime":399.332,"endTime":401.762,"body":"It had been about"},{"startTime":399.332,"endTime":401.762,"body":"40, 50 years before."},{"startTime":402.914,"endTime":404.984,"body":"yeah, so that's"},{"startTime":402.914,"endTime":404.984,"body":"where it came from."},{"startTime":405.044,"endTime":407.984,"body":"Oh, it does say here, I'm only"},{"startTime":405.044,"endTime":407.984,"body":"on Wikipedia, but it does say"},{"startTime":407.984,"endTime":411.254,"body":"he did not necessarily coin"},{"startTime":407.984,"endTime":411.254,"body":"the phrase, life begins at 40,"},{"startTime":411.584,"endTime":414.34,"body":"but the book brought it into"},{"startTime":415.655,"endTime":416.375,"body":"popular culture."},{"startTime":417.485,"endTime":417.84499999999997,"body":"Hmm."},{"startTime":417.925,"endTime":421.075,"body":"There's also something about"},{"startTime":417.925,"endTime":421.075,"body":"a 1980 John Lennon song, which"},{"startTime":421.075,"endTime":422.875,"body":"is rather sad considering"},{"startTime":423.505,"endTime":426.355,"body":"that, that he died at 42."},{"startTime":427.3,"endTime":427.65999999999997,"body":"yeah."},{"startTime":427.71999999999997,"endTime":427.87,"body":"The"},{"startTime":427.915,"endTime":430.905,"body":"I'm not quite sure"},{"startTime":427.915,"endTime":430.905,"body":"about that, but yeah."},{"startTime":430.905,"endTime":435.758,"body":"As to women and men, I mean,"},{"startTime":430.905,"endTime":435.758,"body":"I, am from the, group where"},{"startTime":435.76099999999997,"endTime":437.342,"body":"women didn't tend to work."},{"startTime":437.342,"endTime":440.582,"body":"So my mother stopped work"},{"startTime":437.342,"endTime":440.582,"body":"when she got married."},{"startTime":440.582,"endTime":442.622,"body":"Not even when"},{"startTime":440.582,"endTime":442.622,"body":"she had children."},{"startTime":442.906,"endTime":444.556,"body":"She stopped work"},{"startTime":442.906,"endTime":444.556,"body":"when she got married."},{"startTime":444.608,"endTime":447.692,"body":"And she did go through"},{"startTime":444.608,"endTime":447.692,"body":"a crisis when my"},{"startTime":447.692,"endTime":449.853,"body":"brother and I left home."},{"startTime":450.553,"endTime":455.383,"body":"because that was half of"},{"startTime":450.553,"endTime":455.383,"body":"her role suddenly gone."},{"startTime":455.383,"endTime":456.52299999999997,"body":"Cause we left at"},{"startTime":455.383,"endTime":456.52299999999997,"body":"the same time."},{"startTime":456.52299999999997,"endTime":459.763,"body":"We went to university"},{"startTime":456.52299999999997,"endTime":459.763,"body":"the same time."},{"startTime":459.943,"endTime":462.133,"body":"So that wasn't very"},{"startTime":459.943,"endTime":462.133,"body":"considerate of us."},{"startTime":462.406,"endTime":465.106,"body":"But yeah, I think, you"},{"startTime":462.406,"endTime":465.106,"body":"know, these things,"},{"startTime":465.13599999999997,"endTime":466.336,"body":"these things do vary."},{"startTime":466.359,"endTime":469.29699999999997,"body":"But we also had the question"},{"startTime":466.359,"endTime":469.29699999999997,"body":"from Bernadette, which I"},{"startTime":469.29699999999997,"endTime":472.747,"body":"think we should bring in"},{"startTime":469.29699999999997,"endTime":472.747,"body":"cuz it's quite interesting."},{"startTime":473.015,"endTime":474.575,"body":"Why do we call it a crisis?"},{"startTime":474.875,"endTime":478.235,"body":"Does panic really set in"},{"startTime":474.875,"endTime":478.235,"body":"or is it a stage of life"},{"startTime":478.235,"endTime":480.485,"body":"when we wake up and commit"},{"startTime":478.235,"endTime":480.485,"body":"to do things we know we"},{"startTime":480.485,"endTime":483.365,"body":"won't be able to do in"},{"startTime":480.485,"endTime":483.365,"body":"the near future for fear"},{"startTime":483.365,"endTime":484.59499999999997,"body":"of physical limitation."},{"startTime":485.315,"endTime":488.435,"body":"We spend on fast cars because"},{"startTime":485.315,"endTime":488.435,"body":"we can, when we just don't"},{"startTime":488.435,"endTime":491.435,"body":"care about what people think"},{"startTime":488.435,"endTime":491.435,"body":"or take any more nonsense."},{"startTime":492.425,"endTime":495.455,"body":"that's going back to what"},{"startTime":492.425,"endTime":495.455,"body":"you started off with, the"},{"startTime":496.005,"endTime":499.085,"body":"positives, and I think"},{"startTime":496.005,"endTime":499.085,"body":"there's an element here of."},{"startTime":500.325,"endTime":503.48,"body":"if it's, if it's just a"},{"startTime":500.325,"endTime":503.48,"body":"behavior because you now"},{"startTime":503.51,"endTime":507.56,"body":"can, so you can afford"},{"startTime":503.51,"endTime":507.56,"body":"a fast car now that you"},{"startTime":507.56,"endTime":511.62399999999997,"body":"couldn't afford before,"},{"startTime":507.56,"endTime":511.62399999999997,"body":"then that's not a crisis."},{"startTime":511.954,"endTime":516.13,"body":"And I suppose it's a crisis"},{"startTime":511.954,"endTime":516.13,"body":"when there's some element"},{"startTime":516.14,"endTime":520.8100000000001,"body":"of psychological distress"},{"startTime":516.14,"endTime":520.8100000000001,"body":"associated with it or"},{"startTime":520.8100000000001,"endTime":523.41,"body":"trying to fix some level"},{"startTime":520.8100000000001,"endTime":523.41,"body":"of psychological distress."},{"startTime":524.075,"endTime":524.735,"body":"Hmm."},{"startTime":524.807,"endTime":528.827,"body":"Changes of behavior,"},{"startTime":524.807,"endTime":528.827,"body":"changes of life, that"},{"startTime":528.827,"endTime":529.667,"body":"sort of thing, isn't it?"},{"startTime":529.667,"endTime":531.087,"body":"That's what we're"},{"startTime":529.667,"endTime":531.087,"body":"really looking at."},{"startTime":531.215,"endTime":535.217,"body":"Cause if this, if the, the"},{"startTime":531.215,"endTime":535.217,"body":"fast car, the, the motorbike"},{"startTime":535.457,"endTime":539.297,"body":"or the, the new house or"},{"startTime":535.457,"endTime":539.297,"body":"the affair or whatever it"},{"startTime":539.297,"endTime":543.557,"body":"is, if that was food or"},{"startTime":539.297,"endTime":543.557,"body":"alcohol that somebody was"},{"startTime":543.557,"endTime":546.7370000000001,"body":"using as a distraction from"},{"startTime":543.557,"endTime":546.7370000000001,"body":"some sort of internal angst."},{"startTime":547.067,"endTime":549.1070000000001,"body":"And we'd go, yeah,"},{"startTime":547.067,"endTime":549.1070000000001,"body":"this is a problem."},{"startTime":549.557,"endTime":550.7270000000001,"body":"You're doing something."},{"startTime":551.177,"endTime":553.7270000000001,"body":"In order to mask a feeling,"},{"startTime":551.177,"endTime":553.7270000000001,"body":"you need to look at the"},{"startTime":553.7270000000001,"endTime":557.807,"body":"feeling and find out what's"},{"startTime":553.7270000000001,"endTime":557.807,"body":"your unconscious mind trying"},{"startTime":557.812,"endTime":559.667,"body":"to tell you through your body."},{"startTime":559.9670000000001,"endTime":561.047,"body":"It's trying to"},{"startTime":559.9670000000001,"endTime":561.047,"body":"tell you something."},{"startTime":561.047,"endTime":561.7370000000001,"body":"Listen."},{"startTime":562.187,"endTime":564.077,"body":"But if we're not very good"},{"startTime":562.187,"endTime":564.077,"body":"at listening to our body,"},{"startTime":564.077,"endTime":568.2470000000001,"body":"listening to our emotions,"},{"startTime":564.077,"endTime":568.2470000000001,"body":"then we get scared."},{"startTime":568.947,"endTime":572.037,"body":"and that can lead to what"},{"startTime":568.947,"endTime":572.037,"body":"we now call a crisis."},{"startTime":572.1370000000001,"endTime":575.077,"body":"maybe like we say, an"},{"startTime":572.1370000000001,"endTime":575.077,"body":"existential crisis."},{"startTime":575.647,"endTime":577.2370000000001,"body":"Cuz now I'm getting"},{"startTime":575.647,"endTime":577.2370000000001,"body":"these signals from my"},{"startTime":577.2370000000001,"endTime":580.027,"body":"body that says, you full"},{"startTime":577.2370000000001,"endTime":580.027,"body":"of regret, aren't you?"},{"startTime":580.7170000000001,"endTime":583.207,"body":"We don't, we might not call"},{"startTime":580.7170000000001,"endTime":583.207,"body":"it regret, we just go, oh,"},{"startTime":583.2120000000001,"endTime":586.5970000000001,"body":"I feel anxious, or I feeling"},{"startTime":583.2120000000001,"endTime":586.5970000000001,"body":"impatient, or I'm fed up."},{"startTime":586.7470000000001,"endTime":587.947,"body":"I just want more."},{"startTime":588.249,"endTime":590.469,"body":"And if you look beneath it,"},{"startTime":588.249,"endTime":590.469,"body":"I mean it's easier with the"},{"startTime":590.469,"endTime":592.719,"body":"therapist, but you can look"},{"startTime":590.469,"endTime":592.719,"body":"beneath it yourself and go,"},{"startTime":592.719,"endTime":594.479,"body":"what is really going on?"},{"startTime":595.274,"endTime":596.114,"body":"Oh, it's regret."},{"startTime":596.144,"endTime":598.7840000000001,"body":"I'm feeling very"},{"startTime":596.144,"endTime":598.7840000000001,"body":"nostalgic for my youth."},{"startTime":599.354,"endTime":601.1840000000001,"body":"I wish I had hair again."},{"startTime":602.0540000000001,"endTime":605.354,"body":"I don't, I mean, I'm quite, I"},{"startTime":602.0540000000001,"endTime":605.354,"body":"quite embrace losing my hair"},{"startTime":605.354,"endTime":609.3140000000001,"body":"and I literally shaved my"},{"startTime":605.354,"endTime":609.3140000000001,"body":"head about five minutes ago"},{"startTime":609.494,"endTime":612.344,"body":"while I was waiting for, for"},{"startTime":609.494,"endTime":612.344,"body":"us to start recording this."},{"startTime":612.349,"endTime":614.494,"body":"Cause I've got a little head"},{"startTime":612.349,"endTime":614.494,"body":"shave, a little school shaver"},{"startTime":614.494,"endTime":615.5740000000001,"body":"thing, just roll around."},{"startTime":615.9440000000001,"endTime":618.134,"body":"So every couple of days"},{"startTime":615.9440000000001,"endTime":618.134,"body":"I'll give that a go because,"},{"startTime":618.134,"endTime":620.0540000000001,"body":"well, what's the point in"},{"startTime":618.134,"endTime":620.0540000000001,"body":"gonna, the hairdressers,"},{"startTime":620.0840000000001,"endTime":620.8040000000001,"body":"there's nothing to cut"},{"startTime":622.229,"endTime":623.399,"body":"back to Bernadette."},{"startTime":623.667,"endTime":623.937,"body":"Sorry,"},{"startTime":624.0870000000001,"endTime":626.9540000000001,"body":"She,  has linked a few"},{"startTime":624.0870000000001,"endTime":626.9540000000001,"body":"things here though that she"},{"startTime":626.9540000000001,"endTime":630.6880000000001,"body":"says doing things we know"},{"startTime":626.9540000000001,"endTime":630.6880000000001,"body":"we won't be able to do in"},{"startTime":630.6880000000001,"endTime":633.238,"body":"the near future for fear"},{"startTime":630.6880000000001,"endTime":633.238,"body":"of physical limitation."},{"startTime":634.258,"endTime":637.3480000000001,"body":"Well, that doesn't apply"},{"startTime":634.258,"endTime":637.3480000000001,"body":"to a fast car cuz Well,"},{"startTime":638.488,"endTime":640.8520000000001,"body":"there will be a time when"},{"startTime":638.488,"endTime":640.8520000000001,"body":"you can't drive a fast car."},{"startTime":640.892,"endTime":643.6220000000001,"body":"Most people at some point"},{"startTime":640.892,"endTime":643.6220000000001,"body":"have to stop driving"},{"startTime":643.6270000000001,"endTime":646.495,"body":"because of limitations and,"},{"startTime":646.6600000000001,"endTime":646.9300000000001,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":646.9330000000001,"endTime":647.191,"body":"That's."},{"startTime":648.211,"endTime":651.421,"body":"That's another form of"},{"startTime":648.211,"endTime":651.421,"body":"crisis in a way of accepting"},{"startTime":651.421,"endTime":655.081,"body":"that, which sometimes people"},{"startTime":651.421,"endTime":655.081,"body":"don't accept it soon enough."},{"startTime":655.197,"endTime":657.267,"body":"Which is . That's,"},{"startTime":657.272,"endTime":658.647,"body":"was an interesting"},{"startTime":657.272,"endTime":658.647,"body":"face you pulled then"},{"startTime":659.3670000000001,"endTime":659.7570000000001,"body":"well,"},{"startTime":660.5070000000001,"endTime":661.647,"body":"you talking about yourself?"},{"startTime":664.4970000000001,"endTime":668.832,"body":"no, I'm nowhere near that"},{"startTime":664.4970000000001,"endTime":668.832,"body":"cheek but I, there was a,"},{"startTime":669.041,"endTime":669.341,"body":"it's great."},{"startTime":669.4010000000001,"endTime":671.801,"body":"Hey, let me, I'll, I'll,"},{"startTime":669.4010000000001,"endTime":671.801,"body":"I'll challenge you on that"},{"startTime":671.8610000000001,"endTime":674.831,"body":"to a degree because most"},{"startTime":671.8610000000001,"endTime":674.831,"body":"people, when they get into"},{"startTime":674.831,"endTime":678.2810000000001,"body":"their fifties, and I, it's,"},{"startTime":674.831,"endTime":678.2810000000001,"body":"it's a long way off for"},{"startTime":678.2810000000001,"endTime":680.051,"body":"me, but I, I notice it now."},{"startTime":680.3610000000001,"endTime":682.5110000000001,"body":"Let alone, my friends"},{"startTime":680.3610000000001,"endTime":682.5110000000001,"body":"who are older than me."},{"startTime":683.231,"endTime":686.5010000000001,"body":"Driving at night, That starts"},{"startTime":683.231,"endTime":686.5010000000001,"body":"to become a limitation."},{"startTime":686.591,"endTime":688.1510000000001,"body":"I've got a friend,"},{"startTime":686.591,"endTime":688.1510000000001,"body":"actually he's 50."},{"startTime":688.3610000000001,"endTime":689.4110000000001,"body":"Oh, happy birthday Paul."},{"startTime":689.471,"endTime":690.941,"body":"When this comes out,"},{"startTime":689.471,"endTime":690.941,"body":"he'd just turned 50."},{"startTime":690.941,"endTime":691.3610000000001,"body":"Hey."},{"startTime":691.3610000000001,"endTime":691.601,"body":"Hi."},{"startTime":692.321,"endTime":695.4050000000001,"body":"And his partner is a"},{"startTime":692.321,"endTime":695.4050000000001,"body":"little older and she's been"},{"startTime":695.4050000000001,"endTime":696.575,"body":"saying for a few years."},{"startTime":696.9050000000001,"endTime":699.3950000000001,"body":"Paul, if we go out,"},{"startTime":696.9050000000001,"endTime":699.3950000000001,"body":"can I drive there."},{"startTime":699.3950000000001,"endTime":701.225,"body":"And you drive back and he's"},{"startTime":699.3950000000001,"endTime":701.225,"body":"like, but we're going out"},{"startTime":701.23,"endTime":702.125,"body":"with Richard for beers."},{"startTime":702.2610000000001,"endTime":704.311,"body":"I really don't wanna drive"},{"startTime":702.2610000000001,"endTime":704.311,"body":"when I'm on the way back."},{"startTime":704.561,"endTime":705.4010000000001,"body":"Oh, okay."},{"startTime":706.1160000000001,"endTime":708.096,"body":"a good excuse for her"},{"startTime":706.1160000000001,"endTime":708.096,"body":"then if she's saying"},{"startTime":708.096,"endTime":709.806,"body":"it's because she doesn't"},{"startTime":708.096,"endTime":709.806,"body":"like driving in the dark."},{"startTime":710.076,"endTime":712.109,"body":"And I might, I might"},{"startTime":710.076,"endTime":712.109,"body":"make that excuse."},{"startTime":712.2890000000001,"endTime":714.989,"body":"And I have had that, I"},{"startTime":712.2890000000001,"endTime":714.989,"body":"have had that feeling"},{"startTime":714.989,"endTime":716.374,"body":"of driving in the dark."},{"startTime":716.4340000000001,"endTime":719.974,"body":"But I think it's, at the"},{"startTime":716.4340000000001,"endTime":719.974,"body":"moment still for me, it's"},{"startTime":719.974,"endTime":721.2940000000001,"body":"more that I just don't do it."},{"startTime":721.45,"endTime":724.1740000000001,"body":"So it's different that I'm"},{"startTime":721.45,"endTime":724.1740000000001,"body":"outta the habit, whereas"},{"startTime":724.1740000000001,"endTime":727.269,"body":"I used to do it when I was"},{"startTime":724.1740000000001,"endTime":727.269,"body":"running the kids around"},{"startTime":727.5690000000001,"endTime":730.719,"body":"everywhere, it was, it"},{"startTime":727.5690000000001,"endTime":730.719,"body":"was a common thing to do."},{"startTime":730.9590000000001,"endTime":732.849,"body":"But yeah, I do think"},{"startTime":730.9590000000001,"endTime":732.849,"body":"that that does come in."},{"startTime":732.849,"endTime":736.0880000000001,"body":"But no, my the face I made"},{"startTime":732.849,"endTime":736.0880000000001,"body":"was um, somebody who is"},{"startTime":736.0880000000001,"endTime":739.4380000000001,"body":"no longer with us, so I"},{"startTime":736.0880000000001,"endTime":739.4380000000001,"body":"won't identify them, but"},{"startTime":739.5580000000001,"endTime":741.178,"body":"they are no longer here."},{"startTime":741.5970000000001,"endTime":745.85,"body":"Who did carry on driving"},{"startTime":741.5970000000001,"endTime":745.85,"body":"longer than should have"},{"startTime":746.0100000000001,"endTime":747.9000000000001,"body":"for everybody's safety."},{"startTime":748.75,"endTime":752.339,"body":"It was all right, but it"},{"startTime":748.75,"endTime":752.339,"body":"was not like your head."},{"startTime":752.339,"endTime":752.999,"body":"It was hairy."},{"startTime":753.6990000000001,"endTime":754.259,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":754.529,"endTime":755.019,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":755.4190000000001,"endTime":758.945,"body":"But anyway so that's another"},{"startTime":755.4190000000001,"endTime":758.945,"body":"tangent we've gone off down."},{"startTime":758.945,"endTime":762.1120000000001,"body":"But there are some things"},{"startTime":758.945,"endTime":762.1120000000001,"body":"that people do do as part of"},{"startTime":762.1120000000001,"endTime":767.152,"body":"a midlife plan or a retirement"},{"startTime":762.1120000000001,"endTime":767.152,"body":"plan of doing things."},{"startTime":767.182,"endTime":770.8810000000001,"body":"We'll do it now because"},{"startTime":767.182,"endTime":770.8810000000001,"body":"we can, and we might"},{"startTime":770.8810000000001,"endTime":773.6110000000001,"body":"not be able earlier, but"},{"startTime":770.8810000000001,"endTime":773.6110000000001,"body":"that doesn't necessarily"},{"startTime":773.6110000000001,"endTime":774.451,"body":"mean it's a crisis."},{"startTime":774.451,"endTime":778.1410000000001,"body":"I mean, I'm vaguely"},{"startTime":774.451,"endTime":778.1410000000001,"body":"contemplating the idea"},{"startTime":778.3810000000001,"endTime":781.201,"body":"of going around the"},{"startTime":778.3810000000001,"endTime":781.201,"body":"world without flying."},{"startTime":781.719,"endTime":783.279,"body":"OSH around the"},{"startTime":781.719,"endTime":783.279,"body":"world in 80 days."},{"startTime":783.5490000000001,"endTime":785.6320000000001,"body":"well that's, I mean,"},{"startTime":783.5490000000001,"endTime":785.6320000000001,"body":"you can do that."},{"startTime":785.6370000000001,"endTime":786.7420000000001,"body":"There's a cruise now."},{"startTime":786.9820000000001,"endTime":789.562,"body":"You can do a around the"},{"startTime":786.9820000000001,"endTime":789.562,"body":"world in 80 days cruise."},{"startTime":789.629,"endTime":791.238,"body":"But that's not really"},{"startTime":789.629,"endTime":791.238,"body":"what I'm thinking."},{"startTime":791.238,"endTime":793.908,"body":"I'm thinking of doing it a"},{"startTime":791.238,"endTime":793.908,"body":"little bit more independently."},{"startTime":794.6080000000001,"endTime":797.9680000000001,"body":"But my life circumstances"},{"startTime":794.6080000000001,"endTime":797.9680000000001,"body":"don't allow it now."},{"startTime":798.148,"endTime":799.8580000000001,"body":"But I'm thinking ahead."},{"startTime":799.918,"endTime":801.8380000000001,"body":"Yeah, maybe I'd like to"},{"startTime":799.918,"endTime":801.8380000000001,"body":"do that cuz I've never"},{"startTime":801.8380000000001,"endTime":802.7080000000001,"body":"been able to do it."},{"startTime":803.158,"endTime":804.988,"body":"Circumstances have"},{"startTime":803.158,"endTime":804.988,"body":"never allowed it."},{"startTime":805.082,"endTime":807.7220000000001,"body":"But that's not,"},{"startTime":805.082,"endTime":807.7220000000001,"body":"that's not a crisis."},{"startTime":807.7270000000001,"endTime":809.552,"body":"That's just a, that would"},{"startTime":807.7270000000001,"endTime":809.552,"body":"be fun, wouldn't it?"},{"startTime":810.2520000000001,"endTime":812.652,"body":"There's a lot of extra"},{"startTime":810.2520000000001,"endTime":812.652,"body":"responsibilities that come."},{"startTime":813.6270000000001,"endTime":814.287,"body":"As well."},{"startTime":814.647,"endTime":819.327,"body":"It's not just about, oh,"},{"startTime":814.647,"endTime":819.327,"body":"now I've got more time"},{"startTime":819.327,"endTime":820.5870000000001,"body":"cuz my children are older."},{"startTime":821.157,"endTime":824.3670000000001,"body":"At the same time as that,"},{"startTime":821.157,"endTime":824.3670000000001,"body":"maybe you start to feel a"},{"startTime":824.3670000000001,"endTime":830.177,"body":"little bit of freedom, but"},{"startTime":824.3670000000001,"endTime":830.177,"body":"maybe that's when we have"},{"startTime":830.177,"endTime":833.397,"body":"to start looking after aging"},{"startTime":830.177,"endTime":833.397,"body":"parents, cuz that comes up"},{"startTime":833.397,"endTime":834.9870000000001,"body":"in therapy a lot for people."},{"startTime":835.647,"endTime":839.8000000000001,"body":"They were expecting to be able"},{"startTime":835.647,"endTime":839.8000000000001,"body":"to relax in their fifties."},{"startTime":840.9100000000001,"endTime":843.19,"body":"and now they're having to work"},{"startTime":840.9100000000001,"endTime":843.19,"body":"harder, especially if they're"},{"startTime":843.19,"endTime":846.479,"body":"an only child or they're"},{"startTime":843.19,"endTime":846.479,"body":"closer to their parents"},{"startTime":846.479,"endTime":847.589,"body":"than their siblings are."},{"startTime":848.5490000000001,"endTime":850.4390000000001,"body":"Yeah, I hear that"},{"startTime":848.5490000000001,"endTime":850.4390000000001,"body":"story quite a lot."},{"startTime":851.1590000000001,"endTime":852.4190000000001,"body":"I know that that's therapy."},{"startTime":852.4240000000001,"endTime":854.8190000000001,"body":"People bring the things into"},{"startTime":852.4240000000001,"endTime":854.8190000000001,"body":"therapy that are difficult."},{"startTime":855.884,"endTime":860.114,"body":"But that comes up a lot"},{"startTime":855.884,"endTime":860.114,"body":"because modern medicine,"},{"startTime":860.1740000000001,"endTime":862.094,"body":"we're all living that"},{"startTime":860.1740000000001,"endTime":862.094,"body":"little bit longer."},{"startTime":862.244,"endTime":866.9240000000001,"body":"We are picking up conditions"},{"startTime":862.244,"endTime":866.9240000000001,"body":"earlier and there's lots of"},{"startTime":866.9290000000001,"endTime":870.014,"body":"medication to, to help prevent"},{"startTime":866.9290000000001,"endTime":870.014,"body":"those things getting worse."},{"startTime":870.014,"endTime":874.1310000000001,"body":"But we still get older we"},{"startTime":870.014,"endTime":874.1310000000001,"body":"almost revert, don't we?"},{"startTime":874.831,"endTime":876.9010000000001,"body":"We looked after our kids"},{"startTime":874.831,"endTime":876.9010000000001,"body":"and then they're gonna"},{"startTime":876.9010000000001,"endTime":878.191,"body":"have to look after us."},{"startTime":878.5210000000001,"endTime":879.0310000000001,"body":"That does."},{"startTime":880.3910000000001,"endTime":882.7610000000001,"body":"When I went to school reunion,"},{"startTime":880.3910000000001,"endTime":882.7610000000001,"body":"which I think I mentioned"},{"startTime":882.7610000000001,"endTime":885.936,"body":"on here at the time, just"},{"startTime":882.7610000000001,"endTime":885.936,"body":"a few months ago it was so"},{"startTime":885.936,"endTime":887.976,"body":"common just talking to people."},{"startTime":888.3710000000001,"endTime":890.1110000000001,"body":"It was one of the first"},{"startTime":888.3710000000001,"endTime":890.1110000000001,"body":"things that people were"},{"startTime":890.1110000000001,"endTime":892.1600000000001,"body":"saying, what's happening"},{"startTime":890.1110000000001,"endTime":892.1600000000001,"body":"with your parents?"},{"startTime":892.19,"endTime":896.714,"body":"And so many of us were in"},{"startTime":892.19,"endTime":896.714,"body":"that position of having"},{"startTime":896.714,"endTime":898.297,"body":"to care for parents."},{"startTime":898.567,"endTime":898.897,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":899.047,"endTime":900.6070000000001,"body":"Very, very common."},{"startTime":900.671,"endTime":904.4330000000001,"body":"But then there's the extra"},{"startTime":900.671,"endTime":904.4330000000001,"body":"stage of when parents"},{"startTime":904.673,"endTime":908.9190000000001,"body":"depart and you become,"},{"startTime":904.673,"endTime":908.9190000000001,"body":"which I haven't got to."},{"startTime":909.879,"endTime":911.739,"body":"Because one of mine's"},{"startTime":909.879,"endTime":911.739,"body":"gone and one's still here."},{"startTime":912.3090000000001,"endTime":913.219,"body":"Still got my father."},{"startTime":913.676,"endTime":916.7460000000001,"body":"and I've seen this, you get"},{"startTime":913.676,"endTime":916.7460000000001,"body":"to the point where, oh, crikey"},{"startTime":916.796,"endTime":918.6560000000001,"body":"I'm the, I'm the older one."},{"startTime":919.302,"endTime":921.1320000000001,"body":"I'm the one who sits at"},{"startTime":919.302,"endTime":921.1320000000001,"body":"the head of the table."},{"startTime":921.3420000000001,"endTime":924.812,"body":"I'm the head of the family"},{"startTime":921.3420000000001,"endTime":924.812,"body":"I'm the next generation"},{"startTime":924.812,"endTime":930.33,"body":"to go, which leads to"},{"startTime":924.812,"endTime":930.33,"body":"existential angst of, can't"},{"startTime":930.33,"endTime":932.1,"body":"avoid the idea of death."},{"startTime":932.9490000000001,"endTime":933.5790000000001,"body":"Because it's me"},{"startTime":933.5790000000001,"endTime":934.1790000000001,"body":"next"},{"startTime":934.1790000000001,"endTime":937.326,"body":"people will think about the"},{"startTime":934.1790000000001,"endTime":937.326,"body":"typical idea of somebody"},{"startTime":937.326,"endTime":940.456,"body":"having a midlife crisis is"},{"startTime":937.326,"endTime":940.456,"body":"a man getting a new fast"},{"startTime":940.456,"endTime":944.186,"body":"car and acting younger"},{"startTime":940.456,"endTime":944.186,"body":"than he is, and I think."},{"startTime":945.201,"endTime":947.211,"body":"Whether it's true or not,"},{"startTime":945.201,"endTime":947.211,"body":"it gives the impression"},{"startTime":947.211,"endTime":951.3810000000001,"body":"that you're trying to run"},{"startTime":947.211,"endTime":951.3810000000001,"body":"away from the aging process"},{"startTime":951.571,"endTime":953.0110000000001,"body":"rather than embracing it."},{"startTime":953.711,"endTime":955.721,"body":"Cuz not everybody wants"},{"startTime":953.711,"endTime":955.721,"body":"to embrace the idea"},{"startTime":955.726,"endTime":956.758,"body":"of, getting older."},{"startTime":956.918,"endTime":960.408,"body":"ask me again in 20 years"},{"startTime":956.918,"endTime":960.408,"body":"time, but the minute, age 47."},{"startTime":961.628,"endTime":963.548,"body":"I've got no problems"},{"startTime":961.628,"endTime":963.548,"body":"with it at all."},{"startTime":964.028,"endTime":966.0980000000001,"body":"The idea of being 57."},{"startTime":966.0980000000001,"endTime":969.9680000000001,"body":"67, okay, I expect I'm gonna"},{"startTime":966.0980000000001,"endTime":969.9680000000001,"body":"be walking a little bit slower"},{"startTime":969.9680000000001,"endTime":972.6980000000001,"body":"and I'm not gonna have quite"},{"startTime":969.9680000000001,"endTime":972.6980000000001,"body":"the core strength that I've"},{"startTime":972.6980000000001,"endTime":976.248,"body":"got right now, but I'm the"},{"startTime":972.6980000000001,"endTime":976.248,"body":"optimistic realist who says,"},{"startTime":976.964,"endTime":978.2840000000001,"body":"but everything will be okay."},{"startTime":979.124,"endTime":981.0740000000001,"body":"and if it's not okay,"},{"startTime":979.124,"endTime":981.0740000000001,"body":"I'll do my best."},{"startTime":981.0740000000001,"endTime":983.3240000000001,"body":"And I can't do any"},{"startTime":981.0740000000001,"endTime":983.3240000000001,"body":"more than that now."},{"startTime":983.384,"endTime":986.264,"body":"Like I say, ask me again"},{"startTime":983.384,"endTime":986.264,"body":"in 10 years time when"},{"startTime":986.264,"endTime":989.0540000000001,"body":"I'm, when I'm 57, and I"},{"startTime":986.264,"endTime":989.0540000000001,"body":"might well be thinking,"},{"startTime":989.2940000000001,"endTime":993.104,"body":"oh no, but what's next?"},{"startTime":993.8040000000001,"endTime":996.2610000000001,"body":"Rather than thinking,"},{"startTime":993.8040000000001,"endTime":996.2610000000001,"body":"oh, great, look"},{"startTime":996.2610000000001,"endTime":997.971,"body":"what I've achieved."},{"startTime":998.091,"endTime":999.5310000000001,"body":"Look at all the things"},{"startTime":998.091,"endTime":999.5310000000001,"body":"that have happened to me."},{"startTime":999.5310000000001,"endTime":1001.841,"body":"Look at all these friends"},{"startTime":999.5310000000001,"endTime":1001.841,"body":"I've made over the years."},{"startTime":1001.841,"endTime":1004.3910000000001,"body":"Look at all this fun"},{"startTime":1001.841,"endTime":1004.3910000000001,"body":"that I've had, and maybe."},{"startTime":1005.471,"endTime":1006.941,"body":"bit of privilege"},{"startTime":1005.471,"endTime":1006.941,"body":"that I've got there."},{"startTime":1006.941,"endTime":1009.1610000000001,"body":"I know not everybody"},{"startTime":1006.941,"endTime":1009.1610000000001,"body":"will have had great"},{"startTime":1009.1610000000001,"endTime":1011.291,"body":"experiences in their life."},{"startTime":1011.4110000000001,"endTime":1013.061,"body":"Maybe they won't have done"},{"startTime":1011.4110000000001,"endTime":1013.061,"body":"because their partners had"},{"startTime":1013.061,"endTime":1017.3810000000001,"body":"a midlife crisis and  spent"},{"startTime":1013.061,"endTime":1017.3810000000001,"body":"all their money on cars."},{"startTime":1017.508,"endTime":1020.5680000000001,"body":"It does come down well,"},{"startTime":1017.508,"endTime":1020.5680000000001,"body":"partly comes down to therefore"},{"startTime":1020.5980000000001,"endTime":1021.8280000000001,"body":"choice again, doesn't it?"},{"startTime":1021.888,"endTime":1024.6779999999999,"body":"That you can choose to see"},{"startTime":1021.888,"endTime":1024.6779999999999,"body":"things in different ways and"},{"startTime":1024.6779999999999,"endTime":1025.848,"body":"focus on different things."},{"startTime":1025.853,"endTime":1028.059,"body":"Cuz you mentioned"},{"startTime":1025.853,"endTime":1028.059,"body":"about regrets earlier."},{"startTime":1028.127,"endTime":1032.95,"body":"It could be that somebody"},{"startTime":1028.127,"endTime":1032.95,"body":"who is ripe for a mid life"},{"startTime":1032.95,"endTime":1037.03,"body":"crisis has not done the"},{"startTime":1032.95,"endTime":1037.03,"body":"things that they wish they"},{"startTime":1037.03,"endTime":1038.92,"body":"had done for whatever reason."},{"startTime":1039.277,"endTime":1039.697,"body":"And."},{"startTime":1040.257,"endTime":1044.902,"body":"if they then in that stage"},{"startTime":1040.257,"endTime":1044.902,"body":"of regret, it could escalate"},{"startTime":1044.932,"endTime":1048.392,"body":"into that panic that"},{"startTime":1044.932,"endTime":1048.392,"body":"Bernadette used the word panic"},{"startTime":1048.722,"endTime":1051.032,"body":"of, oh my God, I've"},{"startTime":1048.722,"endTime":1051.032,"body":"got to do something"},{"startTime":1051.032,"endTime":1052.502,"body":"now, or it's too late."},{"startTime":1053.202,"endTime":1056.482,"body":"as opposed to looking"},{"startTime":1053.202,"endTime":1056.482,"body":"at that feeling of"},{"startTime":1056.482,"endTime":1060.562,"body":"regret and recognizing"},{"startTime":1056.482,"endTime":1060.562,"body":"it and accepting it."},{"startTime":1060.5919999999999,"endTime":1062.032,"body":"That, yeah, I wish"},{"startTime":1060.5919999999999,"endTime":1062.032,"body":"I'd done that."},{"startTime":1062.722,"endTime":1065.8519999999999,"body":", but nevermind, eh, there are"},{"startTime":1062.722,"endTime":1065.8519999999999,"body":"lots of things we can regret"},{"startTime":1065.8519999999999,"endTime":1067.922,"body":"if that's where our focus"},{"startTime":1065.8519999999999,"endTime":1067.922,"body":"is, and like I say, we are"},{"startTime":1067.922,"endTime":1070.442,"body":"back to choice, it might not"},{"startTime":1067.922,"endTime":1070.442,"body":"feel that we've got a choice,"},{"startTime":1070.442,"endTime":1073.442,"body":"cuz we've got a feeling in"},{"startTime":1070.442,"endTime":1073.442,"body":"our body that says you are"},{"startTime":1073.442,"endTime":1076.1119999999999,"body":"frustrated and it's about"},{"startTime":1073.442,"endTime":1076.1119999999999,"body":"regret because you always"},{"startTime":1076.1119999999999,"endTime":1080.522,"body":"wished you'd done that or gone"},{"startTime":1076.1119999999999,"endTime":1080.522,"body":"there or had that experience."},{"startTime":1081.222,"endTime":1081.552,"body":"Oh."},{"startTime":1081.972,"endTime":1085.3619999999999,"body":"The only reason we know that"},{"startTime":1081.972,"endTime":1085.3619999999999,"body":"those things exist is because"},{"startTime":1085.3619999999999,"endTime":1087.912,"body":"of exposure to the idea."},{"startTime":1088.6319999999998,"endTime":1091.1219999999998,"body":"Well, if you'd never had"},{"startTime":1088.6319999999998,"endTime":1091.1219999999998,"body":"exposure to the idea of going"},{"startTime":1091.1219999999998,"endTime":1095.195,"body":"around the world and having"},{"startTime":1091.1219999999998,"endTime":1095.195,"body":"those sorts of experiences or"},{"startTime":1095.645,"endTime":1098.855,"body":"that those fast cars exist,"},{"startTime":1095.645,"endTime":1098.855,"body":"you wouldn't want them."},{"startTime":1099.405,"endTime":1103.75,"body":"So I think as, we look back"},{"startTime":1099.405,"endTime":1103.75,"body":"on life, then it's, you know,"},{"startTime":1103.83,"endTime":1107.6799999999998,"body":"I, I just said a few minutes"},{"startTime":1103.83,"endTime":1107.6799999999998,"body":"ago, I said that my life"},{"startTime":1107.685,"endTime":1110.4399999999998,"body":"circumstances didn't allow"},{"startTime":1107.685,"endTime":1110.4399999999998,"body":"me to travel around the world"},{"startTime":1110.47,"endTime":1113.062,"body":"before I have done lots of"},{"startTime":1110.47,"endTime":1113.062,"body":"travel, but I'd never been"},{"startTime":1113.062,"endTime":1115.8819999999998,"body":"able to take the amount of"},{"startTime":1113.062,"endTime":1115.8819999999998,"body":"time that this would take."},{"startTime":1116.302,"endTime":1118.492,"body":"And also I wouldn't have"},{"startTime":1116.302,"endTime":1118.492,"body":"been able to afford it,"},{"startTime":1119.152,"endTime":1124.202,"body":"but I could have, if I'd"},{"startTime":1119.152,"endTime":1124.202,"body":"prioritized differently."},{"startTime":1125.027,"endTime":1127.8319999999999,"body":"if I'd decided, as you know,"},{"startTime":1125.027,"endTime":1127.8319999999999,"body":"quite a lot of people do"},{"startTime":1127.8319999999999,"endTime":1130.572,"body":"now, but it wasn't such a"},{"startTime":1127.8319999999999,"endTime":1130.572,"body":"thing when I was at that age."},{"startTime":1130.572,"endTime":1133.595,"body":"But they take their gap year"},{"startTime":1130.572,"endTime":1133.595,"body":"and, and travel and save"},{"startTime":1133.6,"endTime":1136.649,"body":"up and go and take months"},{"startTime":1133.6,"endTime":1136.649,"body":"traveling around the world."},{"startTime":1136.662,"endTime":1138.042,"body":"But I didn't prioritize that."},{"startTime":1138.042,"endTime":1141.8819999999998,"body":"So life circumstances I could"},{"startTime":1138.042,"endTime":1141.8819999999998,"body":"have, but I chose not to."},{"startTime":1142.482,"endTime":1146.442,"body":"But that still doesn't make it"},{"startTime":1142.482,"endTime":1146.442,"body":"a crisis in this circumstance."},{"startTime":1146.442,"endTime":1148.732,"body":"But it could if you took"},{"startTime":1146.442,"endTime":1148.732,"body":"the choice, made the"},{"startTime":1148.732,"endTime":1152.7079999999999,"body":"choice of thinking I should"},{"startTime":1148.732,"endTime":1152.7079999999999,"body":"have done such and such."},{"startTime":1153.548,"endTime":1155.408,"body":"The other one that we've"},{"startTime":1153.548,"endTime":1155.408,"body":"sort of skirted over a"},{"startTime":1155.408,"endTime":1157.508,"body":"bit, but I don't think we"},{"startTime":1155.408,"endTime":1157.508,"body":"really should skirt over"},{"startTime":1157.508,"endTime":1158.828,"body":"it, is the affair thing."},{"startTime":1159.212,"endTime":1162.942,"body":"that sort of midlife"},{"startTime":1159.212,"endTime":1162.942,"body":"crisis when perhaps the"},{"startTime":1162.942,"endTime":1165.972,"body":"relationship has gone a"},{"startTime":1162.942,"endTime":1165.972,"body":"bit stale just because."},{"startTime":1166.571,"endTime":1169.5149999999999,"body":"Old and maybe there's been"},{"startTime":1166.571,"endTime":1169.5149999999999,"body":"a bit of taking things"},{"startTime":1169.5149999999999,"endTime":1174.3149999999998,"body":"for granted, too busy,"},{"startTime":1169.5149999999999,"endTime":1174.3149999999998,"body":"occupied with the children"},{"startTime":1174.3149999999998,"endTime":1175.8149999999998,"body":"and jobs and so on."},{"startTime":1175.8149999999998,"endTime":1179.2649999999999,"body":"And then maybe this"},{"startTime":1175.8149999999998,"endTime":1179.2649999999999,"body":"stereotypically, but the"},{"startTime":1179.2649999999999,"endTime":1182.605,"body":"children leave home and"},{"startTime":1179.2649999999999,"endTime":1182.605,"body":"then it's a, oh, what"},{"startTime":1182.605,"endTime":1187.7649999999999,"body":"Now we are just going to"},{"startTime":1182.605,"endTime":1187.7649999999999,"body":"sit here watching TV and"},{"startTime":1187.7649999999999,"endTime":1191.2749999999999,"body":"asking what's for dinner"},{"startTime":1187.7649999999999,"endTime":1191.2749999999999,"body":"for the rest of our lives."},{"startTime":1191.307,"endTime":1191.962,"body":"And."},{"startTime":1192.322,"endTime":1196.308,"body":"Then there can certainly be a"},{"startTime":1192.322,"endTime":1196.308,"body":"feeling of missing out or I've"},{"startTime":1196.308,"endTime":1200.6499999999999,"body":"missed out on the excitement"},{"startTime":1196.308,"endTime":1200.6499999999999,"body":"of relationships and thinking"},{"startTime":1200.6499999999999,"endTime":1203.62,"body":"back, I mean, I've heard this"},{"startTime":1200.6499999999999,"endTime":1203.62,"body":"so many times in the therapy"},{"startTime":1203.625,"endTime":1207.61,"body":"room of, you know, I remember"},{"startTime":1203.625,"endTime":1207.61,"body":"that feeling of excitement of"},{"startTime":1207.615,"endTime":1210.25,"body":"a new relationship, but I'm"},{"startTime":1207.615,"endTime":1210.25,"body":"never gonna have that again."},{"startTime":1210.9099999999999,"endTime":1212.8999999999999,"body":"And so that can be a problem"},{"startTime":1213.143,"endTime":1216.2069999999999,"body":"and of course, what people"},{"startTime":1213.143,"endTime":1216.2069999999999,"body":"want is to feel excited"},{"startTime":1216.907,"endTime":1220.7169999999999,"body":"and at the same time, cuz"},{"startTime":1216.907,"endTime":1220.7169999999999,"body":"we're humans, we crave"},{"startTime":1220.7169999999999,"endTime":1224.944,"body":"intimacy and we need to"},{"startTime":1220.7169999999999,"endTime":1224.944,"body":"look at that feeling."},{"startTime":1225.394,"endTime":1227.0439999999999,"body":"Your emotions are"},{"startTime":1225.394,"endTime":1227.0439999999999,"body":"telling you something."},{"startTime":1227.374,"endTime":1230.374,"body":"Look at it, examine that,"},{"startTime":1227.374,"endTime":1230.374,"body":"and then think about"},{"startTime":1230.374,"endTime":1231.364,"body":"it and talk about it."},{"startTime":1231.964,"endTime":1234.004,"body":"You can take it to therapy,"},{"startTime":1231.964,"endTime":1234.004,"body":"but it's probably best to talk"},{"startTime":1234.004,"endTime":1235.264,"body":"about it with your partner."},{"startTime":1235.954,"endTime":1238.774,"body":"What's probably not a good"},{"startTime":1235.954,"endTime":1238.774,"body":"idea is to say, Hey, I'm"},{"startTime":1238.779,"endTime":1239.974,"body":"thinking of having an affair."},{"startTime":1240.484,"endTime":1241.944,"body":"I need some"},{"startTime":1240.484,"endTime":1241.944,"body":"excitement in my life."},{"startTime":1242.614,"endTime":1244.759,"body":"That's not a great way"},{"startTime":1242.614,"endTime":1244.759,"body":"to start a conversation."},{"startTime":1244.879,"endTime":1247.6989999999998,"body":"I'd leave that bit"},{"startTime":1244.879,"endTime":1247.6989999999998,"body":"out if I were you uh,"},{"startTime":1248.759,"endTime":1250.4589999999998,"body":"monsters lead that way."},{"startTime":1251.869,"endTime":1255.629,"body":"But, and, and maybe"},{"startTime":1251.869,"endTime":1255.629,"body":"that's when it's okay"},{"startTime":1255.634,"endTime":1257.639,"body":"to lie by omission."},{"startTime":1258.309,"endTime":1263.259,"body":"But you tell the truth in"},{"startTime":1258.309,"endTime":1263.259,"body":"that I'm feeling frustrated."},{"startTime":1263.769,"endTime":1266.369,"body":"I'm feeling that I'm"},{"startTime":1263.769,"endTime":1266.369,"body":"missing out on stuff I"},{"startTime":1266.369,"endTime":1267.4489999999998,"body":"want some excitement."},{"startTime":1268.079,"endTime":1269.489,"body":"It's a conversation to have,"},{"startTime":1269.839,"endTime":1270.1689999999999,"body":"yeah,"},{"startTime":1270.1989999999998,"endTime":1274.319,"body":"I mean, have that conversation"},{"startTime":1270.1989999999998,"endTime":1274.319,"body":"of, okay, let's take this"},{"startTime":1274.619,"endTime":1277.529,"body":"stereotypical example of"},{"startTime":1274.619,"endTime":1277.529,"body":"we've just been using of"},{"startTime":1277.6789999999999,"endTime":1278.6989999999998,"body":"the kids of left home."},{"startTime":1279.329,"endTime":1281.4589999999998,"body":"You sat there watching the tv."},{"startTime":1282.3709999999999,"endTime":1285.731,"body":"discuss the fact, okay, we've"},{"startTime":1282.3709999999999,"endTime":1285.731,"body":"got all this time now where"},{"startTime":1286.091,"endTime":1289.571,"body":"we are not fighting the kids"},{"startTime":1286.091,"endTime":1289.571,"body":"for the remote control and"},{"startTime":1290.081,"endTime":1293.561,"body":"we are not having to yell"},{"startTime":1290.081,"endTime":1293.561,"body":"at them to come down for"},{"startTime":1293.561,"endTime":1296.171,"body":"dinner and sort out what"},{"startTime":1293.561,"endTime":1296.171,"body":"they're doing at school"},{"startTime":1296.171,"endTime":1297.9109999999998,"body":"and taking them everywhere."},{"startTime":1298.991,"endTime":1300.731,"body":"Oh, we've got all this time."},{"startTime":1301.331,"endTime":1304.8709999999999,"body":"What can we do together"},{"startTime":1301.331,"endTime":1304.8709999999999,"body":"now that we couldn't"},{"startTime":1304.8709999999999,"endTime":1306.281,"body":"do together before?"},{"startTime":1306.581,"endTime":1309.701,"body":"How can we be together"},{"startTime":1306.581,"endTime":1309.701,"body":"now in a different way?"},{"startTime":1309.8509999999999,"endTime":1311.201,"body":"It's just a different phase."},{"startTime":1311.6029999999998,"endTime":1314.04,"body":"again, stereotypically, you"},{"startTime":1311.6029999999998,"endTime":1314.04,"body":"know, the the couple would've"},{"startTime":1314.04,"endTime":1318.09,"body":"got together and had their"},{"startTime":1314.04,"endTime":1318.09,"body":"time on their own, gradually"},{"startTime":1318.09,"endTime":1321.406,"body":"getting to know each other,"},{"startTime":1318.09,"endTime":1321.406,"body":"getting more and more serious,"},{"startTime":1321.4109999999998,"endTime":1325.1499999999999,"body":"and then, finally settling"},{"startTime":1321.4109999999998,"endTime":1325.1499999999999,"body":"down and living together"},{"startTime":1325.1499999999999,"endTime":1326.56,"body":"and then having children."},{"startTime":1327.07,"endTime":1328.09,"body":"Different phases."},{"startTime":1328.3899999999999,"endTime":1331.061,"body":"It's just a different"},{"startTime":1328.3899999999999,"endTime":1331.061,"body":"phase, but it needs to"},{"startTime":1331.066,"endTime":1335.933,"body":"be discussed, needs to be"},{"startTime":1331.066,"endTime":1335.933,"body":"acted upon and not ignored."},{"startTime":1336.158,"endTime":1336.768,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"startTime":1337.318,"endTime":1340.6779999999999,"body":"I wonder why people do find it"},{"startTime":1337.318,"endTime":1340.6779999999999,"body":"so difficult to talk about the"},{"startTime":1340.6779999999999,"endTime":1343.215,"body":"way that they feel like this."},{"startTime":1343.605,"endTime":1346.7649999999999,"body":"What's going on in our culture"},{"startTime":1343.605,"endTime":1346.7649999999999,"body":"that stops us having these"},{"startTime":1346.77,"endTime":1349.825,"body":"conversations with our partner"},{"startTime":1346.77,"endTime":1349.825,"body":"that says, this is how I feel."},{"startTime":1350.5249999999999,"endTime":1353.5249999999999,"body":"Very odd but then if,"},{"startTime":1350.5249999999999,"endTime":1353.5249999999999,"body":"if people were great at"},{"startTime":1353.5249999999999,"endTime":1355.196,"body":"that, they wouldn't need a"},{"startTime":1353.5249999999999,"endTime":1355.196,"body":"therapist and we'd be out"},{"startTime":1355.196,"endTime":1356.7359999999999,"body":"of a job, which is fine."},{"startTime":1356.7359999999999,"endTime":1360.2459999999999,"body":"I'll just do something"},{"startTime":1356.7359999999999,"endTime":1360.2459999999999,"body":"else long for a world where"},{"startTime":1360.2459999999999,"endTime":1361.5059999999999,"body":"people don't need therapy."},{"startTime":1361.5059999999999,"endTime":1362.916,"body":"It's not happening"},{"startTime":1361.5059999999999,"endTime":1362.916,"body":"anytime soon."},{"startTime":1362.916,"endTime":1363.556,"body":"Unfortunately."},{"startTime":1364.407,"endTime":1366.357,"body":"I think, you know, you"},{"startTime":1364.407,"endTime":1366.357,"body":"asked a question why?"},{"startTime":1366.417,"endTime":1370.047,"body":"Well, partly, hopefully"},{"startTime":1366.417,"endTime":1370.047,"body":"it's because they don't want"},{"startTime":1370.052,"endTime":1372.597,"body":"to hurt the other partner,"},{"startTime":1370.052,"endTime":1372.597,"body":"and if you are still in a"},{"startTime":1372.597,"endTime":1375.7169999999999,"body":"relationship where you really"},{"startTime":1372.597,"endTime":1375.7169999999999,"body":"care and don't want to hurt"},{"startTime":1376.347,"endTime":1380.4769999999999,"body":"the other person, so you're"},{"startTime":1376.347,"endTime":1380.4769999999999,"body":"not gonna say, oh, I, I'm"},{"startTime":1380.4769999999999,"endTime":1381.447,"body":"thinking of having an affair."},{"startTime":1382.0169999999998,"endTime":1385.492,"body":"because that would hurt the"},{"startTime":1382.0169999999998,"endTime":1385.492,"body":"other person then it's quite"},{"startTime":1385.492,"endTime":1390.098,"body":"tricky in most people, I'd say"},{"startTime":1385.492,"endTime":1390.098,"body":"aren't that good at expressing"},{"startTime":1390.098,"endTime":1393.328,"body":"themselves in a way that's"},{"startTime":1390.098,"endTime":1393.328,"body":"I mean, I'm exaggerating"},{"startTime":1393.328,"endTime":1397.248,"body":"probably, but the way that's"},{"startTime":1393.328,"endTime":1397.248,"body":"clear and that they are"},{"startTime":1397.248,"endTime":1398.808,"body":"sure is not going to upset."},{"startTime":1399.4379999999999,"endTime":1402.768,"body":"But then is that ever"},{"startTime":1399.4379999999999,"endTime":1402.768,"body":"going to not upset if"},{"startTime":1402.768,"endTime":1404.058,"body":"it was exactly that?"},{"startTime":1404.148,"endTime":1404.4479999999999,"body":"I don."},{"startTime":1405.148,"endTime":1405.508,"body":"Hmm."},{"startTime":1406.2079999999999,"endTime":1409.778,"body":"So what advice would"},{"startTime":1406.2079999999999,"endTime":1409.778,"body":"we give somebody who is"},{"startTime":1410.348,"endTime":1414.4579999999999,"body":"starting to feel that"},{"startTime":1410.348,"endTime":1414.4579999999999,"body":"frustration or that sense"},{"startTime":1414.4579999999999,"endTime":1415.868,"body":"that time is running out?"},{"startTime":1416.2379999999998,"endTime":1418.9379999999999,"body":"Maybe some sense of"},{"startTime":1416.2379999999998,"endTime":1418.9379999999999,"body":"regret or some nostalgia"},{"startTime":1418.9379999999999,"endTime":1419.298,"body":"for their youth."},{"startTime":1419.893,"endTime":1421.3029999999999,"body":"Well, we're not"},{"startTime":1419.893,"endTime":1421.3029999999999,"body":"supposed to give advice."},{"startTime":1421.3029999999999,"endTime":1421.633,"body":"Richard"},{"startTime":1423.013,"endTime":1424.393,"body":"Well, we're not"},{"startTime":1423.013,"endTime":1424.393,"body":"to our clients, no"},{"startTime":1426.3429999999998,"endTime":1426.703,"body":"Um,"},{"startTime":1426.783,"endTime":1427.3029999999999,"body":"Although we do,"},{"startTime":1427.423,"endTime":1428.893,"body":"so cop out, great"},{"startTime":1429.013,"endTime":1430.8129999999999,"body":"it, yeah, it, it"},{"startTime":1429.013,"endTime":1430.8129999999999,"body":"absolutely is."},{"startTime":1430.818,"endTime":1433.393,"body":"There's a myth that we"},{"startTime":1430.818,"endTime":1433.393,"body":"don't give our clients"},{"startTime":1433.543,"endTime":1434.653,"body":"advice in therapy."},{"startTime":1435.043,"endTime":1435.8229999999999,"body":"We do."},{"startTime":1435.8229999999999,"endTime":1438.483,"body":"It just depends what"},{"startTime":1435.8229999999999,"endTime":1438.483,"body":"they bring into therapy."},{"startTime":1438.6029999999998,"endTime":1441.8229999999999,"body":"We're not gonna say,  a as"},{"startTime":1438.6029999999998,"endTime":1441.8229999999999,"body":"often happens, people will"},{"startTime":1441.8229999999999,"endTime":1443.8029999999999,"body":"talk about the problems"},{"startTime":1441.8229999999999,"endTime":1443.8029999999999,"body":"in their relationship."},{"startTime":1444.0729999999999,"endTime":1446.413,"body":"It's not for us to go, oh"},{"startTime":1444.0729999999999,"endTime":1446.413,"body":"yeah, you need to leave her."},{"startTime":1446.8329999999999,"endTime":1447.703,"body":"Well, it's dreadful."},{"startTime":1447.8229999999999,"endTime":1448.8429999999998,"body":"Yeah, you're"},{"startTime":1447.8229999999999,"endTime":1448.8429999999998,"body":"better off without."},{"startTime":1449.598,"endTime":1451.368,"body":"What, no, we don't do that."},{"startTime":1451.878,"endTime":1454.578,"body":"But if somebody comes to"},{"startTime":1451.878,"endTime":1454.578,"body":"us and says, these are"},{"startTime":1454.5829999999999,"endTime":1456.1979999999999,"body":"the, these are the things"},{"startTime":1454.5829999999999,"endTime":1456.1979999999999,"body":"that are going on in my"},{"startTime":1456.1979999999999,"endTime":1457.8629999999998,"body":"life we do give advice."},{"startTime":1457.8629999999998,"endTime":1459.873,"body":"We would say, have"},{"startTime":1457.8629999999998,"endTime":1459.873,"body":"you tried this?"},{"startTime":1459.873,"endTime":1461.253,"body":"It might be a good"},{"startTime":1459.873,"endTime":1461.253,"body":"idea to do that."},{"startTime":1461.523,"endTime":1463.233,"body":"If somebody's not sleeping"},{"startTime":1461.523,"endTime":1463.233,"body":"very well, but they live on"},{"startTime":1463.233,"endTime":1465.8429999999998,"body":"espresso, switch to decaf,"},{"startTime":1463.233,"endTime":1465.8429999999998,"body":"you might find you have"},{"startTime":1465.848,"endTime":1466.8029999999999,"body":"a better night's sleep."},{"startTime":1467.014,"endTime":1467.434,"body":"Uh, Yeah."},{"startTime":1467.434,"endTime":1468.0939999999998,"body":"I suppose we could."},{"startTime":1468.424,"endTime":1471.5439999999999,"body":"Yeah, we do give advice,"},{"startTime":1468.424,"endTime":1471.5439999999999,"body":"but we just don't tell"},{"startTime":1471.5439999999999,"endTime":1472.384,"body":"people what to do."},{"startTime":1473.464,"endTime":1474.8139999999999,"body":"That's not what we"},{"startTime":1473.464,"endTime":1474.8139999999999,"body":"are there to do."},{"startTime":1475.514,"endTime":1478.404,"body":"Yeah, I mean, the purest"},{"startTime":1475.514,"endTime":1478.404,"body":"person-centered therapist"},{"startTime":1478.404,"endTime":1480.0439999999999,"body":"wouldn't even go there, but."},{"startTime":1480.9489999999998,"endTime":1483.764,"body":"we still do anyway, even"},{"startTime":1480.9489999999998,"endTime":1483.764,"body":"the purest sort of does"},{"startTime":1483.764,"endTime":1486.974,"body":"because they will be"},{"startTime":1483.764,"endTime":1486.974,"body":"reflecting back certain"},{"startTime":1487.154,"endTime":1490.364,"body":"portions of what is said"},{"startTime":1487.154,"endTime":1490.364,"body":"rather than other portions."},{"startTime":1490.634,"endTime":1493.874,"body":"So it's, it's still,"},{"startTime":1490.634,"endTime":1493.874,"body":"it's, it's impossible"},{"startTime":1493.879,"endTime":1495.104,"body":"unless you said nothing."},{"startTime":1495.321,"endTime":1498.673,"body":"Well, basically then even if"},{"startTime":1495.321,"endTime":1498.673,"body":"they're looking at you, they'd"},{"startTime":1498.6779999999999,"endTime":1500.023,"body":"still get some response."},{"startTime":1500.5929999999998,"endTime":1504.283,"body":"So basically, unless"},{"startTime":1500.5929999999998,"endTime":1504.283,"body":"weren't there unless they"},{"startTime":1504.283,"endTime":1505.543,"body":"were talking to nobody."},{"startTime":1506.033,"endTime":1508.483,"body":"we, we are all giving"},{"startTime":1506.033,"endTime":1508.483,"body":"some sort of feedback"},{"startTime":1508.56,"endTime":1509.49,"body":"to the clients."},{"startTime":1509.585,"endTime":1511.0549999999998,"body":"Otherwise, all we'll we"},{"startTime":1509.585,"endTime":1511.0549999999998,"body":"doing is just shuffling"},{"startTime":1511.0549999999998,"endTime":1514.7749999999999,"body":"a tarot deck and pulling"},{"startTime":1511.0549999999998,"endTime":1514.7749999999999,"body":"something out and going, ah."},{"startTime":1515.085,"endTime":1516.735,"body":"Then they look at it and"},{"startTime":1515.085,"endTime":1516.735,"body":"go, oh, I think I know"},{"startTime":1516.735,"endTime":1517.3049999999998,"body":"what that means to me."},{"startTime":1517.95,"endTime":1519.0,"body":"Okay, shuffle it again."},{"startTime":1519.0,"endTime":1519.57,"body":"Pull out another one."},{"startTime":1520.1699999999998,"endTime":1523.23,"body":"And those things are useful,"},{"startTime":1520.1699999999998,"endTime":1523.23,"body":"whether it's because of"},{"startTime":1523.3429999999998,"endTime":1525.623,"body":"the universe making the"},{"startTime":1523.3429999999998,"endTime":1525.623,"body":"right card appear, or"},{"startTime":1525.893,"endTime":1527.423,"body":"it's just interpretation."},{"startTime":1528.123,"endTime":1530.913,"body":"If you need something to"},{"startTime":1528.123,"endTime":1530.913,"body":"help point you in the right"},{"startTime":1530.918,"endTime":1533.703,"body":"direction, even though"},{"startTime":1530.918,"endTime":1533.703,"body":"it's you, yourself, that is"},{"startTime":1533.763,"endTime":1538.463,"body":"giving you the instructions"},{"startTime":1533.763,"endTime":1538.463,"body":"because there's a sign."},{"startTime":1539.3429999999998,"endTime":1542.523,"body":"That tells you something, but"},{"startTime":1539.3429999999998,"endTime":1542.523,"body":"listen to what that means."},{"startTime":1542.643,"endTime":1543.633,"body":"And I saw a feather."},{"startTime":1544.023,"endTime":1546.663,"body":"I saw a feather float down,"},{"startTime":1544.023,"endTime":1546.663,"body":"and it reminded me of this."},{"startTime":1546.663,"endTime":1548.013,"body":"It was a sign to do that."},{"startTime":1548.163,"endTime":1550.5629999999999,"body":"While that sign came"},{"startTime":1548.163,"endTime":1550.5629999999999,"body":"from you, from your"},{"startTime":1550.5629999999999,"endTime":1552.753,"body":"desires, your inner needs."},{"startTime":1552.783,"endTime":1553.773,"body":"Examine that."},{"startTime":1554.3429999999998,"endTime":1556.023,"body":"Make sure that you,"},{"startTime":1554.3429999999998,"endTime":1556.023,"body":"you're doing things"},{"startTime":1556.023,"endTime":1557.3129999999999,"body":"for the right reasons."},{"startTime":1558.013,"endTime":1560.623,"body":"Because our body can't"},{"startTime":1558.013,"endTime":1560.623,"body":"always be trusted to give"},{"startTime":1560.623,"endTime":1561.943,"body":"us the right information."},{"startTime":1562.903,"endTime":1564.793,"body":"I, I've said this a few"},{"startTime":1562.903,"endTime":1564.793,"body":"times, so I apologies if"},{"startTime":1564.798,"endTime":1566.713,"body":"I'm repeating myself cause"},{"startTime":1564.798,"endTime":1566.713,"body":"I forget all the different"},{"startTime":1566.713,"endTime":1568.993,"body":"places where I publish the,"},{"startTime":1566.713,"endTime":1568.993,"body":"the different things that"},{"startTime":1568.993,"endTime":1570.133,"body":"I say and where I say them."},{"startTime":1570.133,"endTime":1573.328,"body":"But a lot of people can't"},{"startTime":1570.133,"endTime":1573.328,"body":"trust their gut instinct."},{"startTime":1574.213,"endTime":1576.0729999999999,"body":"They've got this feeling"},{"startTime":1574.213,"endTime":1576.0729999999999,"body":"and it, it's urging"},{"startTime":1576.0729999999999,"endTime":1577.0629999999999,"body":"them to do something."},{"startTime":1577.123,"endTime":1579.5629999999999,"body":"They might not be able"},{"startTime":1577.123,"endTime":1579.5629999999999,"body":"to trust it, cuz that gut"},{"startTime":1579.5829999999999,"endTime":1581.8329999999999,"body":"instinct might be broken."},{"startTime":1582.3129999999999,"endTime":1585.8029999999999,"body":"It might come from, I don't"},{"startTime":1582.3129999999999,"endTime":1585.8029999999999,"body":"know, a common one that we,"},{"startTime":1585.8029999999999,"endTime":1588.3529999999998,"body":"we find as therapists is that"},{"startTime":1585.8029999999999,"endTime":1588.3529999999998,"body":"somebody's got a feeling that"},{"startTime":1588.3529999999998,"endTime":1591.3229999999999,"body":"other people can't be trusted"},{"startTime":1588.3529999999998,"endTime":1591.3229999999999,"body":"so that they need to pull away"},{"startTime":1591.3229999999999,"endTime":1592.763,"body":"from everybody and be alone."},{"startTime":1593.463,"endTime":1594.483,"body":"Examine that."},{"startTime":1594.783,"endTime":1596.223,"body":"That feeling"},{"startTime":1594.783,"endTime":1596.223,"body":"might not be true."},{"startTime":1596.223,"endTime":1599.883,"body":"That could be a feeling that"},{"startTime":1596.223,"endTime":1599.883,"body":"belongs 40 years in the past"},{"startTime":1599.883,"endTime":1605.076,"body":"with some traumas that you are"},{"startTime":1599.883,"endTime":1605.076,"body":"still in the shadow of that."},{"startTime":1605.076,"endTime":1607.416,"body":"Every time you've, you've"},{"startTime":1605.076,"endTime":1607.416,"body":"been mistreated or been"},{"startTime":1607.421,"endTime":1610.146,"body":"rejected, this, the monolith"},{"startTime":1607.421,"endTime":1610.146,"body":"in your life just gets"},{"startTime":1610.146,"endTime":1611.446,"body":"bigger and bigger and bigger."},{"startTime":1611.446,"endTime":1615.096,"body":"And the shadow it casts"},{"startTime":1611.446,"endTime":1615.096,"body":"gets wider and longer,"},{"startTime":1615.576,"endTime":1617.316,"body":"and it's hard to step"},{"startTime":1615.576,"endTime":1617.316,"body":"out of that shadow."},{"startTime":1618.2459999999999,"endTime":1619.806,"body":"Well until you see what's"},{"startTime":1618.2459999999999,"endTime":1619.806,"body":"causing the shadow."},{"startTime":1620.5059999999999,"endTime":1623.206,"body":"you dunno which direction to"},{"startTime":1620.5059999999999,"endTime":1623.206,"body":"actually look to step out of"},{"startTime":1623.206,"endTime":1626.9859999999999,"body":"it, to then stand in the sun"},{"startTime":1623.206,"endTime":1626.9859999999999,"body":"and go, okay, I can see and"},{"startTime":1626.9859999999999,"endTime":1628.2759999999998,"body":"feel and think more clearly."},{"startTime":1628.2759999999998,"endTime":1630.616,"body":"Now there's a nice"},{"startTime":1628.2759999999998,"endTime":1630.616,"body":"metaphor for you."},{"startTime":1630.616,"endTime":1631.546,"body":"You can have that"},{"startTime":1630.616,"endTime":1631.546,"body":"one for free."},{"startTime":1631.9579999999999,"endTime":1635.258,"body":"But going back to the"},{"startTime":1631.9579999999999,"endTime":1635.258,"body":"advice Question, which"},{"startTime":1635.258,"endTime":1636.639,"body":"I don't want to shirk."},{"startTime":1637.435,"endTime":1640.502,"body":"I think the first thing is"},{"startTime":1637.435,"endTime":1640.502,"body":"to allow yourself to feel"},{"startTime":1640.5069999999998,"endTime":1645.072,"body":"it, which we have said"},{"startTime":1640.5069999999998,"endTime":1645.072,"body":"before, and recognize that"},{"startTime":1645.072,"endTime":1649.942,"body":"it's okay and it's normal"},{"startTime":1645.072,"endTime":1649.942,"body":"and that life has phases"},{"startTime":1650.002,"endTime":1654.5819999999999,"body":"and transitioning from one"},{"startTime":1650.002,"endTime":1654.5819999999999,"body":"phase to another is sometimes"},{"startTime":1654.5819999999999,"endTime":1659.9669999999999,"body":"going to be tricky or"},{"startTime":1654.5819999999999,"endTime":1659.9669999999999,"body":"thought provoking or emotion"},{"startTime":1660.397,"endTime":1664.537,"body":"provoking, which is okay cuz"},{"startTime":1660.397,"endTime":1664.537,"body":"that's just what happens."},{"startTime":1665.557,"endTime":1669.7269999999999,"body":"And then be open to thinking"},{"startTime":1665.557,"endTime":1669.7269999999999,"body":"about it and talking about it"},{"startTime":1669.732,"endTime":1673.066,"body":"to whoever is most appropriate"},{"startTime":1669.732,"endTime":1673.066,"body":"to talk about it with."},{"startTime":1673.143,"endTime":1673.604,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"startTime":1674.154,"endTime":1676.254,"body":"And then you can work through."},{"startTime":1676.692,"endTime":1677.5919999999999,"body":"Sounds easier, doesn't it?"},{"startTime":1678.605,"endTime":1679.895,"body":"It's easier said than done."},{"startTime":1680.375,"endTime":1682.085,"body":"It's quicker to say it."},{"startTime":1682.495,"endTime":1685.319,"body":"Actually doing it might"},{"startTime":1682.495,"endTime":1685.319,"body":"lead to some sleepless"},{"startTime":1685.319,"endTime":1690.509,"body":"nights or some wakeful"},{"startTime":1685.319,"endTime":1690.509,"body":"times in the early hours."},{"startTime":1690.6589999999999,"endTime":1694.859,"body":"And if you've gotta think"},{"startTime":1690.6589999999999,"endTime":1694.859,"body":"about it, think about it like"},{"startTime":1694.859,"endTime":1698.579,"body":"we say about sleep before,"},{"startTime":1694.859,"endTime":1698.579,"body":"it's okay to be awake, but"},{"startTime":1698.579,"endTime":1700.7089999999998,"body":"don't be frustrated about"},{"startTime":1698.579,"endTime":1700.7089999999998,"body":"being awake because the"},{"startTime":1700.7089999999998,"endTime":1704.6789999999999,"body":"frustration leads to more"},{"startTime":1700.7089999999998,"endTime":1704.6789999999999,"body":"sleeplessness, more anxiety."},{"startTime":1705.2549999999999,"endTime":1706.935,"body":"to a degree, be okay"},{"startTime":1705.2549999999999,"endTime":1706.935,"body":"with being awake."},{"startTime":1706.935,"endTime":1707.595,"body":"Think about it."},{"startTime":1708.435,"endTime":1711.145,"body":"Think about what's really"},{"startTime":1708.435,"endTime":1711.145,"body":"going on, because then"},{"startTime":1711.145,"endTime":1713.725,"body":"you might be able to make"},{"startTime":1711.145,"endTime":1713.725,"body":"some changes, but it might"},{"startTime":1713.725,"endTime":1717.5649999999998,"body":"be that you make healthy"},{"startTime":1713.725,"endTime":1717.5649999999998,"body":"changes because it might"},{"startTime":1717.5649999999998,"endTime":1721.925,"body":"be that you do move house"},{"startTime":1717.5649999999998,"endTime":1721.925,"body":"because you wants somewhere"},{"startTime":1721.925,"endTime":1725.2549999999999,"body":"smaller or even somewhere"},{"startTime":1721.925,"endTime":1725.2549999999999,"body":"bigger because your aging"},{"startTime":1725.2549999999999,"endTime":1727.235,"body":"parents in five years time"},{"startTime":1725.2549999999999,"endTime":1727.235,"body":"might be moving in with you."},{"startTime":1727.235,"endTime":1727.8049999999998,"body":"Who knows?"},{"startTime":1728.645,"endTime":1729.5449999999998,"body":"Make some changes if."},{"startTime":1730.55,"endTime":1733.35,"body":"Want to, but it needs"},{"startTime":1730.55,"endTime":1733.35,"body":"to be thought about and"},{"startTime":1733.35,"endTime":1737.1599999999999,"body":"talked about and given"},{"startTime":1733.35,"endTime":1737.1599999999999,"body":"some consideration rather"},{"startTime":1737.1599999999999,"endTime":1739.289,"body":"than reactive knee jerk."},{"startTime":1739.319,"endTime":1741.299,"body":"I feel bad, so I need"},{"startTime":1739.319,"endTime":1741.299,"body":"to make a change."},{"startTime":1741.359,"endTime":1741.599,"body":"Now."},{"startTime":1741.599,"endTime":1743.489,"body":"Quickly, quickly, quickly,"},{"startTime":1741.599,"endTime":1743.489,"body":"quickly, quickly, quickly,"},{"startTime":1744.1889999999999,"endTime":1745.269,"body":"less haste, more speed."},{"startTime":1745.9689999999998,"endTime":1749.639,"body":"Things can happen, but"},{"startTime":1745.9689999999998,"endTime":1749.639,"body":"they've gotta be done in"},{"startTime":1749.639,"endTime":1750.4089999999999,"body":"the right way for you."},{"startTime":1751.139,"endTime":1752.099,"body":"whatever that means to you."},{"startTime":1753.62,"endTime":1754.23,"body":"That's"},{"startTime":1754.37,"endTime":1756.135,"body":"favorite Latin phrases."},{"startTime":1756.485,"endTime":1756.975,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1757.53,"endTime":1758.46,"body":"Hurry up slowly,"},{"startTime":1759.1599999999999,"endTime":1759.6499999999999,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1759.6499999999999,"endTime":1760.6899999999998,"body":"Hurry up slowly."},{"startTime":1760.8509999999999,"endTime":1763.5729999999999,"body":"because then you've"},{"startTime":1760.8509999999999,"endTime":1763.5729999999999,"body":"got time to think."},{"startTime":1764.273,"endTime":1768.0529999999999,"body":"Rather than just reacting to"},{"startTime":1764.273,"endTime":1768.0529999999999,"body":"everything, just cuz you can"},{"startTime":1768.0529999999999,"endTime":1771.503,"body":"buy a Harley Davidson cuz your"},{"startTime":1768.0529999999999,"endTime":1771.503,"body":"credit rating's decent now."},{"startTime":1771.503,"endTime":1774.1129999999998,"body":"For, for the first time"},{"startTime":1771.503,"endTime":1774.1129999999998,"body":"ever, mainly doesn't mean"},{"startTime":1774.1129999999998,"endTime":1777.633,"body":"you have to go out and"},{"startTime":1774.1129999999998,"endTime":1777.633,"body":"buy one, but maybe it's"},{"startTime":1777.638,"endTime":1778.473,"body":"the right thing to do."},{"startTime":1779.673,"endTime":1780.183,"body":"Maybe"},{"startTime":1780.883,"endTime":1783.5929999999998,"body":"Or maybe, maybe you"},{"startTime":1780.883,"endTime":1783.5929999999998,"body":"could, maybe you could."},{"startTime":1784.043,"endTime":1786.877,"body":"Go and drive over"},{"startTime":1784.043,"endTime":1786.877,"body":"Harley Davidson across"},{"startTime":1786.877,"endTime":1789.127,"body":"Route 66 instead."},{"startTime":1789.224,"endTime":1789.524,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1790.484,"endTime":1791.744,"body":"Depends why you want it."},{"startTime":1792.2089999999998,"endTime":1793.519,"body":"Depends why you want it."},{"startTime":1794.474,"endTime":1798.404,"body":"Just thinking of my, my"},{"startTime":1794.474,"endTime":1798.404,"body":"brother-in-law, he, he bought"},{"startTime":1798.404,"endTime":1801.7259999999999,"body":"a Harley and I think at the"},{"startTime":1798.404,"endTime":1801.7259999999999,"body":"time a lot of the family"},{"startTime":1801.7259999999999,"endTime":1804.666,"body":"did look at him and go,"},{"startTime":1801.7259999999999,"endTime":1804.666,"body":"is this a midlife crisis?"},{"startTime":1804.666,"endTime":1806.406,"body":"What's going on here, mate?"},{"startTime":1807.463,"endTime":1811.6029999999998,"body":"and in doing so, he met a lot"},{"startTime":1807.463,"endTime":1811.6029999999998,"body":"of people through a fan club,"},{"startTime":1812.473,"endTime":1813.3129999999999,"body":"made a lot of new friends."},{"startTime":1814.498,"endTime":1820.078,"body":"And now runs a a Harley"},{"startTime":1814.498,"endTime":1820.078,"body":"Sportster  Fan Club group,"},{"startTime":1820.138,"endTime":1823.808,"body":"which is nationally renowned,"},{"startTime":1820.138,"endTime":1823.808,"body":"and he's probably the best"},{"startTime":1823.8129999999999,"endTime":1826.408,"body":"thing that's ever happened"},{"startTime":1823.8129999999999,"endTime":1826.408,"body":"to both him and the sportster"},{"startTime":1827.408,"endTime":1829.9879999999998,"body":"community, bringing all"},{"startTime":1827.408,"endTime":1829.9879999999998,"body":"these people together to"},{"startTime":1829.9879999999998,"endTime":1833.138,"body":"go upon meets hundreds of"},{"startTime":1829.9879999999998,"endTime":1833.138,"body":"riders, thousands of people"},{"startTime":1833.138,"endTime":1835.028,"body":"talking to each other, all"},{"startTime":1833.138,"endTime":1835.028,"body":"talking about their mental"},{"startTime":1835.028,"endTime":1837.518,"body":"health and talking about"},{"startTime":1835.028,"endTime":1837.518,"body":"supporting each other and all"},{"startTime":1837.523,"endTime":1840.848,"body":"the different things that go"},{"startTime":1837.523,"endTime":1840.848,"body":"with it and fair play to him."},{"startTime":1841.028,"endTime":1842.888,"body":"You know, he's, he's"},{"startTime":1841.028,"endTime":1842.888,"body":"done really well to"},{"startTime":1843.248,"endTime":1845.058,"body":"manage all of that, and"},{"startTime":1843.248,"endTime":1845.058,"body":"it's become his life."},{"startTime":1845.758,"endTime":1847.408,"body":"If you ask him how"},{"startTime":1845.758,"endTime":1847.408,"body":"he is, how are you?"},{"startTime":1847.528,"endTime":1848.158,"body":"Oh, the bike."},{"startTime":1848.1879999999999,"endTime":1848.818,"body":"Oh, it's fine."},{"startTime":1849.028,"endTime":1852.1779999999999,"body":"I didn't ask him about the"},{"startTime":1849.028,"endTime":1852.1779999999999,"body":"bike, but it's always on his"},{"startTime":1852.1779999999999,"endTime":1855.493,"body":"mind and it could easily have"},{"startTime":1852.1779999999999,"endTime":1855.493,"body":"been thought of at the time"},{"startTime":1855.493,"endTime":1857.8629999999998,"body":"as a midlife crisis that,"},{"startTime":1855.493,"endTime":1857.8629999999998,"body":"oh, this is just ridiculous."},{"startTime":1857.868,"endTime":1858.6129999999998,"body":"What are you doing that for?"},{"startTime":1858.6129999999998,"endTime":1861.193,"body":"buying a Harley,"},{"startTime":1858.6129999999998,"endTime":1861.193,"body":"what are you doing?"},{"startTime":1861.943,"endTime":1863.5929999999998,"body":"He did the best thing that"},{"startTime":1861.943,"endTime":1863.5929999999998,"body":"ever happened to him, I think."},{"startTime":1864.118,"endTime":1867.289,"body":"I suppose that does uh, add"},{"startTime":1864.118,"endTime":1867.289,"body":"an extra dimension to this is"},{"startTime":1867.4089999999999,"endTime":1870.559,"body":"it's up to you to determine"},{"startTime":1867.4089999999999,"endTime":1870.559,"body":"whether it's a crisis or not."},{"startTime":1870.668,"endTime":1874.931,"body":"And so don't let others make"},{"startTime":1870.668,"endTime":1874.931,"body":"that determination for you."},{"startTime":1875.168,"endTime":1875.618,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1876.318,"endTime":1878.868,"body":"Always look at what's"},{"startTime":1876.318,"endTime":1878.868,"body":"going on underneath and"},{"startTime":1878.868,"endTime":1881.991,"body":"make sure you are doing"},{"startTime":1878.868,"endTime":1881.991,"body":"the right thing for you."},{"startTime":1882.021,"endTime":1884.961,"body":"What is it that that"},{"startTime":1882.021,"endTime":1884.961,"body":"all of you wants?"},{"startTime":1885.321,"endTime":1887.8709999999999,"body":"Like last week we were"},{"startTime":1885.321,"endTime":1887.8709999999999,"body":"talking about the parts of us."},{"startTime":1887.931,"endTime":1890.001,"body":"That's a part of us that"},{"startTime":1887.931,"endTime":1890.001,"body":"wants to, wants to be a"},{"startTime":1890.0059999999999,"endTime":1892.761,"body":"child, and there's a part"},{"startTime":1890.0059999999999,"endTime":1892.761,"body":"of us that wants to be adult"},{"startTime":1892.761,"endTime":1894.261,"body":"and smart and responsible."},{"startTime":1894.501,"endTime":1896.751,"body":"There's a part that wants"},{"startTime":1894.501,"endTime":1896.751,"body":"to play and there's a part"},{"startTime":1896.751,"endTime":1898.821,"body":"that wants to be academic."},{"startTime":1899.031,"endTime":1901.831,"body":"For example, thinking to"},{"startTime":1899.031,"endTime":1901.831,"body":"myself there, I mean the"},{"startTime":1901.836,"endTime":1906.1109999999999,"body":"play part of me takes over"},{"startTime":1901.836,"endTime":1906.1109999999999,"body":"dominates, but we're all"},{"startTime":1906.1109999999999,"endTime":1907.6409999999998,"body":"made up of all these parts."},{"startTime":1908.241,"endTime":1910.341,"body":"We wanna make sure that"},{"startTime":1908.241,"endTime":1910.341,"body":"all those parts are"},{"startTime":1910.341,"endTime":1914.1209999999999,"body":"getting their needs met,"},{"startTime":1910.341,"endTime":1914.1209999999999,"body":"not just one part of you."},{"startTime":1914.181,"endTime":1917.9009999999998,"body":"All parts of you are getting"},{"startTime":1914.181,"endTime":1917.9009999999998,"body":"as much of your needs as"},{"startTime":1917.906,"endTime":1921.021,"body":"possible met, and you're not"},{"startTime":1917.906,"endTime":1921.021,"body":"just letting one dominate."},{"startTime":1921.721,"endTime":1922.281,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":1922.981,"endTime":1925.47,"body":"Well, happy 50th"},{"startTime":1922.981,"endTime":1925.47,"body":"Therapy Natters."},{"startTime":1925.511,"endTime":1926.011,"body":"It is happy"},{"startTime":1926.3809999999999,"endTime":1926.8339999999998,"body":"birthday to us"},{"startTime":1926.8339999999998,"endTime":1929.993,"body":"Yes, Well, we better go"},{"startTime":1926.8339999999998,"endTime":1929.993,"body":"cuz we can't keep doing"},{"startTime":1929.993,"endTime":1931.1029999999998,"body":"this for hours on end."},{"startTime":1931.3129999999999,"endTime":1934.0729999999999,"body":"So we'll be back next week"},{"startTime":1931.3129999999999,"endTime":1934.0729999999999,"body":"with another topic which we"},{"startTime":1934.0729999999999,"endTime":1934.8529999999998,"body":"haven't thought about yet."},{"startTime":1934.858,"endTime":1936.533,"body":"We'll have to have a look"},{"startTime":1934.858,"endTime":1936.533,"body":"through the questions, but"},{"startTime":1936.533,"endTime":1939.533,"body":"do keep on sending them"},{"startTime":1936.533,"endTime":1939.533,"body":"in even if you want to"},{"startTime":1939.533,"endTime":1940.883,"body":"follow up on this episode."},{"startTime":1941.273,"endTime":1943.763,"body":"If you've got any topic"},{"startTime":1941.273,"endTime":1943.763,"body":"ideas or questions,"},{"startTime":1943.873,"endTime":1945.3429999999998,"body":"fire them away at us."},{"startTime":1945.373,"endTime":1948.193,"body":"The link to send us a"},{"startTime":1945.373,"endTime":1948.193,"body":"message is in the show"},{"startTime":1948.193,"endTime":1949.5729999999999,"body":"note description below."},{"startTime":1949.633,"endTime":1951.5529999999999,"body":"As always, right."},{"startTime":1952.0929999999998,"endTime":1953.653,"body":"Love you and leave you folks."},{"startTime":1953.713,"endTime":1955.3329999999999,"body":"Have a super week."},{"startTime":1955.693,"endTime":1956.1129999999998,"body":"Bye."},{"startTime":1956.903,"endTime":1957.953,"body":"See you next time."}]}