{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":39.845,"endTime":40.955,"body":"And hello to you."},{"startTime":40.985,"endTime":44.795,"body":"It's Therapy Natters time,"},{"startTime":40.985,"endTime":44.795,"body":"the podcast series all about"},{"startTime":44.795,"endTime":49.085,"body":"psychotherapy, counseling, and"},{"startTime":44.795,"endTime":49.085,"body":"all things psychoeducation."},{"startTime":49.295,"endTime":52.415,"body":"So, pull up a comfy chair,"},{"startTime":49.295,"endTime":52.415,"body":"let's get to know you better"},{"startTime":52.415,"endTime":55.385000000000005,"body":"and see if there's something"},{"startTime":52.415,"endTime":55.385000000000005,"body":"we can natter about that helps"},{"startTime":55.385000000000005,"endTime":58.685,"body":"you make sense of this crazy"},{"startTime":55.385000000000005,"endTime":58.685,"body":"world and the people on it."},{"startTime":59.135000000000005,"endTime":59.855000000000004,"body":"Hello, Fiona."},{"startTime":60.275,"endTime":62.615,"body":"What's new in your"},{"startTime":60.275,"endTime":62.615,"body":"world this week?"},{"startTime":62.848,"endTime":63.958,"body":"Oh, oh gosh."},{"startTime":63.958,"endTime":64.708,"body":"That's a question."},{"startTime":64.738,"endTime":66.838,"body":"Um, no, I don't think"},{"startTime":64.738,"endTime":66.838,"body":"there's anything new, but"},{"startTime":66.838,"endTime":67.858,"body":"everything's all fine."},{"startTime":67.97800000000001,"endTime":68.518,"body":"Yes."},{"startTime":68.908,"endTime":71.338,"body":"Looking forward to"},{"startTime":68.908,"endTime":71.338,"body":"spring, but there we go."},{"startTime":71.398,"endTime":72.50800000000001,"body":"We are always talking"},{"startTime":71.398,"endTime":72.50800000000001,"body":"about the weather"},{"startTime":72.80799999999999,"endTime":73.468,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":73.918,"endTime":74.458,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":74.69800000000001,"endTime":76.108,"body":"Well, it's March, isn't it?"},{"startTime":76.22800000000001,"endTime":78.358,"body":"And you expect it to"},{"startTime":76.22800000000001,"endTime":78.358,"body":"be better than it is."},{"startTime":78.418,"endTime":80.188,"body":"I'm gonna glance out the"},{"startTime":78.418,"endTime":80.188,"body":"window now, and it's, it's"},{"startTime":80.188,"endTime":81.838,"body":"the greatest of gray skies."},{"startTime":82.138,"endTime":85.49799999999999,"body":"I've never seen a gray sky"},{"startTime":82.138,"endTime":85.49799999999999,"body":"for March, and it's gonna be"},{"startTime":85.49799999999999,"endTime":87.148,"body":"literally freezing overnight."},{"startTime":87.148,"endTime":88.108,"body":"I'm like, what?"},{"startTime":88.468,"endTime":89.968,"body":"This isn't what"},{"startTime":88.468,"endTime":89.968,"body":"I signed up for."},{"startTime":90.268,"endTime":91.648,"body":"This is a temperate zone,"},{"startTime":91.648,"endTime":92.608,"body":"But it will get better."},{"startTime":92.608,"endTime":93.47800000000001,"body":"It will get better"},{"startTime":93.852,"endTime":94.762,"body":"It will it."},{"startTime":94.77699999999999,"endTime":95.227,"body":"course it will."},{"startTime":95.827,"endTime":98.197,"body":"Oh, yes, there's a voice"},{"startTime":95.827,"endTime":98.197,"body":"there that our listeners"},{"startTime":98.197,"endTime":99.33699999999999,"body":"wouldn't have heard before."},{"startTime":99.39699999999999,"endTime":101.827,"body":"Hey, Fiona, why don't"},{"startTime":99.39699999999999,"endTime":101.827,"body":"you introduce our friend?"},{"startTime":102.65,"endTime":104.24000000000001,"body":"as regular"},{"startTime":102.65,"endTime":104.24000000000001,"body":"listeners will know."},{"startTime":104.24000000000001,"endTime":108.05000000000001,"body":"Last time our episode was"},{"startTime":104.24000000000001,"endTime":108.05000000000001,"body":"number 50 and we thought,"},{"startTime":108.362,"endTime":111.977,"body":"Let's change things up a"},{"startTime":108.362,"endTime":111.977,"body":"bit for our future episodes"},{"startTime":111.977,"endTime":114.917,"body":"or some of them by having"},{"startTime":111.977,"endTime":114.917,"body":"guests to natter with."},{"startTime":115.24700000000001,"endTime":117.64699999999999,"body":"So this is our first"},{"startTime":115.24700000000001,"endTime":117.64699999999999,"body":"episode with a guest."},{"startTime":118.27699999999999,"endTime":119.02699999999999,"body":"And our guest."},{"startTime":119.31700000000001,"endTime":119.46199999999999,"body":"I'm."},{"startTime":119.92699999999999,"endTime":120.287,"body":"Yes."},{"startTime":120.287,"endTime":121.05699999999999,"body":"Yes, you are."},{"startTime":121.05699999999999,"endTime":122.14699999999999,"body":"You are the first Sharon."},{"startTime":122.327,"endTime":125.83699999999999,"body":"Our guest is Sharon Mustard,"},{"startTime":122.327,"endTime":125.83699999999999,"body":"who is a psychotherapist"},{"startTime":125.83699999999999,"endTime":127.007,"body":"based in Salsbury."},{"startTime":127.06700000000001,"endTime":130.487,"body":"I have known her for"},{"startTime":127.06700000000001,"endTime":130.487,"body":"over 20 years, I think"},{"startTime":130.487,"endTime":132.827,"body":"Richard, probably very"},{"startTime":130.487,"endTime":132.827,"body":"similar length of time."},{"startTime":133.342,"endTime":135.082,"body":"and uh, Sharon."},{"startTime":135.546,"endTime":139.326,"body":"specializes in several"},{"startTime":135.546,"endTime":139.326,"body":"connected subjects."},{"startTime":139.83,"endTime":143.785,"body":"easibirthing is her,"},{"startTime":139.83,"endTime":143.785,"body":"trademark brand of using"},{"startTime":143.785,"endTime":146.455,"body":"hypnosis to help with"},{"startTime":143.785,"endTime":146.455,"body":"the birthing process."},{"startTime":147.475,"endTime":151.148,"body":"She runs C P D courses,"},{"startTime":147.475,"endTime":151.148,"body":"in fertility, and also"},{"startTime":151.238,"endTime":152.588,"body":"early years parenting."},{"startTime":152.982,"endTime":155.802,"body":"So who better to have"},{"startTime":152.982,"endTime":155.802,"body":"a little natter with"},{"startTime":156.012,"endTime":157.212,"body":"about the latter topic?"},{"startTime":157.452,"endTime":159.912,"body":"Maybe sometime come back and"},{"startTime":157.452,"endTime":159.912,"body":"talk about the other topics."},{"startTime":161.667,"endTime":165.126,"body":"we were thinking a lot of"},{"startTime":161.667,"endTime":165.126,"body":"listeners will be parents,"},{"startTime":165.297,"endTime":168.267,"body":"at various stages of the"},{"startTime":165.297,"endTime":168.267,"body":"journey of parenthood."},{"startTime":168.471,"endTime":172.09,"body":"but even if you're not,"},{"startTime":168.471,"endTime":172.09,"body":"you still had parents"},{"startTime":172.18,"endTime":173.79999999999998,"body":"of one type or another."},{"startTime":174.22,"endTime":178.13,"body":"So it's got an interest, I"},{"startTime":174.22,"endTime":178.13,"body":"would think, for everybody."},{"startTime":178.13,"endTime":179.59,"body":"So, hello Sharon."},{"startTime":179.65,"endTime":181.37,"body":"Welcome to Therapy Natters."},{"startTime":181.73499999999999,"endTime":182.896,"body":"Thank you very much."},{"startTime":182.896,"endTime":184.186,"body":"No, happy to be here."},{"startTime":184.65099999999998,"endTime":186.421,"body":"Yeah, I'm interested"},{"startTime":184.65099999999998,"endTime":186.421,"body":"to see what comes up"},{"startTime":186.421,"endTime":187.891,"body":"today, to be honest."},{"startTime":187.929,"endTime":190.089,"body":"it's just great to be"},{"startTime":187.929,"endTime":190.089,"body":"here really and in such"},{"startTime":190.089,"endTime":191.529,"body":"a worthy subject as well."},{"startTime":191.57899999999998,"endTime":193.775,"body":"I tell you something,"},{"startTime":191.57899999999998,"endTime":193.775,"body":"Sharon, you, you, you've"},{"startTime":193.775,"endTime":194.765,"body":"missed out on one thing."},{"startTime":195.065,"endTime":197.825,"body":"As, as both me and Fiona reach"},{"startTime":195.065,"endTime":197.825,"body":"for our little mugs of tea."},{"startTime":198.33499999999998,"endTime":199.715,"body":"Where's your mug of tea?"},{"startTime":200.255,"endTime":201.45499999999998,"body":"I know."},{"startTime":201.515,"endTime":202.14499999999998,"body":"See, I."},{"startTime":202.445,"endTime":203.855,"body":"oh, you've got,"},{"startTime":202.445,"endTime":203.855,"body":"you've got some water."},{"startTime":203.945,"endTime":204.095,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":204.095,"endTime":204.575,"body":"We'll let you off"},{"startTime":206.005,"endTime":208.73499999999999,"body":"Oh, it could, but we dunno."},{"startTime":209.148,"endTime":210.528,"body":"it could be, yeah."},{"startTime":210.618,"endTime":213.708,"body":"I'm not telling, I'm telling"},{"startTime":210.618,"endTime":213.708,"body":"if if it was gin and tonic,"},{"startTime":213.708,"endTime":214.638,"body":"it would've ice in it."},{"startTime":216.28799999999998,"endTime":216.588,"body":"Fair."},{"startTime":217.397,"endTime":220.427,"body":"So I put a, a little"},{"startTime":217.397,"endTime":220.427,"body":"message out to my patrons"},{"startTime":220.427,"endTime":223.99699999999999,"body":"on patreon.com just to"},{"startTime":220.427,"endTime":223.99699999999999,"body":"say that this is what"},{"startTime":223.99699999999999,"endTime":224.71699999999998,"body":"we were gonna do today."},{"startTime":224.71699999999998,"endTime":227.207,"body":"We were gonna do a recording"},{"startTime":224.71699999999998,"endTime":227.207,"body":"about early years parenting"},{"startTime":227.237,"endTime":230.027,"body":"if anybody's got a, a question"},{"startTime":227.237,"endTime":230.027,"body":"or is in a, a position where"},{"startTime":230.027,"endTime":231.917,"body":"they'd like to ask for advice."},{"startTime":232.34699999999998,"endTime":233.487,"body":"Fire away."},{"startTime":233.87699999999998,"endTime":237.237,"body":"And we, we have had a, a"},{"startTime":233.87699999999998,"endTime":237.237,"body":"couple of questions, um,"},{"startTime":237.507,"endTime":239.24699999999999,"body":"some, some related, some not."},{"startTime":239.24699999999999,"endTime":240.417,"body":"We've had a couple of"},{"startTime":239.24699999999999,"endTime":240.417,"body":"other questions about"},{"startTime":240.422,"endTime":242.067,"body":"other stuff and we'll save"},{"startTime":240.422,"endTime":242.067,"body":"those for another day."},{"startTime":242.487,"endTime":246.055,"body":"But yeah, it would be nice to"},{"startTime":242.487,"endTime":246.055,"body":"talk a little bit about early"},{"startTime":246.06,"endTime":248.566,"body":"years parenting, particularly"},{"startTime":246.06,"endTime":248.566,"body":"because, you know, like you"},{"startTime":248.571,"endTime":254.215,"body":"say, Fiona, a lot of us have"},{"startTime":248.571,"endTime":254.215,"body":"either been parents or those"},{"startTime":254.215,"endTime":257.966,"body":"that haven't, they've had"},{"startTime":254.215,"endTime":257.966,"body":"them in some shape or form."},{"startTime":258.961,"endTime":261.211,"body":"It is nice to look at things"},{"startTime":258.961,"endTime":261.211,"body":"from another perspective"},{"startTime":261.211,"endTime":263.521,"body":"and go, oh, that's why"},{"startTime":261.211,"endTime":263.521,"body":"they did what they did."},{"startTime":263.551,"endTime":265.171,"body":"Oh, that's why they"},{"startTime":263.551,"endTime":265.171,"body":"said what they said."},{"startTime":265.591,"endTime":268.711,"body":"Rather than distort our"},{"startTime":265.591,"endTime":268.711,"body":"memories over 30 years and"},{"startTime":268.711,"endTime":272.071,"body":"go, wow, my parents blah,"},{"startTime":268.711,"endTime":272.071,"body":"blah, blah, blah, blah."},{"startTime":272.461,"endTime":276.571,"body":"Well, actually, there were"},{"startTime":272.461,"endTime":276.571,"body":"probably just overwhelmed."},{"startTime":276.81100000000004,"endTime":280.063,"body":"I know there are extremes and"},{"startTime":276.81100000000004,"endTime":280.063,"body":"not everybody's childhood was"},{"startTime":280.063,"endTime":281.593,"body":"as nurturing as they deserved."},{"startTime":281.95300000000003,"endTime":284.14300000000003,"body":"But if there's ever something"},{"startTime":281.95300000000003,"endTime":284.14300000000003,"body":"that you're not quite sure,"},{"startTime":284.14300000000003,"endTime":286.153,"body":"why did my mom do that?"},{"startTime":286.153,"endTime":287.983,"body":"Or why did my dad say that?"},{"startTime":288.553,"endTime":289.453,"body":"Fair chance."},{"startTime":289.633,"endTime":291.433,"body":"They were overwhelmed"},{"startTime":289.633,"endTime":291.433,"body":"and didn't know what"},{"startTime":291.433,"endTime":292.813,"body":"else to do or say."},{"startTime":293.623,"endTime":296.533,"body":"And that kind of wraps up"},{"startTime":293.623,"endTime":296.533,"body":"the episode in four minutes."},{"startTime":296.613,"endTime":302.173,"body":"Who needs therapy?"},{"startTime":302.173,"endTime":305.83299999999997,"body":"We just go, oh, everybody"},{"startTime":302.173,"endTime":305.83299999999997,"body":"unsure what the heck to do"},{"startTime":305.83299999999997,"endTime":308.02299999999997,"body":"or say and just said the"},{"startTime":305.83299999999997,"endTime":308.02299999999997,"body":"first thing that came into"},{"startTime":308.02299999999997,"endTime":309.913,"body":"their head, everybody's hurt."},{"startTime":310.543,"endTime":314.976,"body":"Oh I'm, I'm reducing"},{"startTime":310.543,"endTime":314.976,"body":"everything down, but is"},{"startTime":314.976,"endTime":316.026,"body":"there some truth in that?"},{"startTime":316.026,"endTime":318.006,"body":"I know it's an"},{"startTime":316.026,"endTime":318.006,"body":"exaggeration, but am I"},{"startTime":318.01099999999997,"endTime":319.146,"body":"on the right lines there?"},{"startTime":320.09999999999997,"endTime":321.42,"body":"I would certainly say so."},{"startTime":321.674,"endTime":324.703,"body":"one of the things that, that,"},{"startTime":321.674,"endTime":324.703,"body":"we find if we're working"},{"startTime":324.703,"endTime":328.025,"body":"either with new parents,"},{"startTime":324.703,"endTime":328.025,"body":"or with, people who have"},{"startTime":328.025,"endTime":330.271,"body":"older children, people"},{"startTime":328.025,"endTime":330.271,"body":"who have children who have"},{"startTime":330.477,"endTime":331.977,"body":"grown up and flew the nest."},{"startTime":333.22499999999997,"endTime":337.049,"body":"is that becoming, a parent is"},{"startTime":333.22499999999997,"endTime":337.049,"body":"a process where you reflect"},{"startTime":337.049,"endTime":338.129,"body":"on your own parenting."},{"startTime":338.279,"endTime":340.26099999999997,"body":"So just picking up on what"},{"startTime":338.279,"endTime":340.26099999999997,"body":"you were saying there,"},{"startTime":340.26099999999997,"endTime":343.69599999999997,"body":"Richard, it helps put some"},{"startTime":340.26099999999997,"endTime":343.69599999999997,"body":"things in perspective, and"},{"startTime":343.69599999999997,"endTime":347.176,"body":"understanding that this"},{"startTime":343.69599999999997,"endTime":347.176,"body":"is a challenging job if we"},{"startTime":347.181,"endTime":348.88599999999997,"body":"wanna call parenting a job."},{"startTime":349.234,"endTime":351.964,"body":"you know, it is challenging,"},{"startTime":349.234,"endTime":351.964,"body":"it's challenging to know"},{"startTime":351.964,"endTime":355.174,"body":"what to do, and so it"},{"startTime":351.964,"endTime":355.174,"body":"does help us to reflect"},{"startTime":355.25,"endTime":356.3,"body":"on the other things."},{"startTime":356.71999999999997,"endTime":358.82,"body":"But the other thing that"},{"startTime":356.71999999999997,"endTime":358.82,"body":"I would bring up, up in"},{"startTime":358.82,"endTime":362.613,"body":"there is something called,"},{"startTime":358.82,"endTime":362.613,"body":"um, ghost in the nursery."},{"startTime":362.703,"endTime":365.283,"body":"I don't know if any of"},{"startTime":362.703,"endTime":365.283,"body":"your, your listeners have"},{"startTime":365.283,"endTime":367.743,"body":"come across that term"},{"startTime":365.283,"endTime":367.743,"body":"or whether both of you."},{"startTime":368.253,"endTime":369.563,"body":"I, I have not heard"},{"startTime":369.71299999999997,"endTime":371.093,"body":"Ghost in the nursery."},{"startTime":371.193,"endTime":371.373,"body":"No."},{"startTime":371.843,"endTime":373.08299999999997,"body":"Tell us all about it."},{"startTime":373.23,"endTime":376.56,"body":"it's from, um, a wonderful,"},{"startTime":373.23,"endTime":376.56,"body":"wonderful lady that's"},{"startTime":376.56,"endTime":379.128,"body":"written many, many books,"},{"startTime":376.56,"endTime":379.128,"body":"called Selma Fryberg."},{"startTime":379.218,"endTime":380.83799999999997,"body":"I even even love her name."},{"startTime":381.288,"endTime":384.918,"body":"and so what she was saying"},{"startTime":381.288,"endTime":384.918,"body":"about ghosts in the nursery"},{"startTime":384.923,"endTime":387.70799999999997,"body":"is that it's not just"},{"startTime":384.923,"endTime":387.70799999999997,"body":"your own parents that you"},{"startTime":387.70799999999997,"endTime":390.288,"body":"bring along, of course,"},{"startTime":387.70799999999997,"endTime":390.288,"body":"as, as influence and bring"},{"startTime":390.288,"endTime":392.298,"body":"along your own reactions."},{"startTime":392.448,"endTime":395.498,"body":"But the ghosts in the"},{"startTime":392.448,"endTime":395.498,"body":"nursery are everyone"},{"startTime":395.503,"endTime":396.198,"body":"that's come behind."},{"startTime":396.198,"endTime":396.678,"body":"So"},{"startTime":396.70799999999997,"endTime":397.908,"body":"All those ancestors."},{"startTime":398.178,"endTime":401.045,"body":"Who have been parents of"},{"startTime":398.178,"endTime":401.045,"body":"your parents, you 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here."},{"startTime":437.87399999999997,"endTime":438.864,"body":"This is our culture."},{"startTime":438.864,"endTime":440.604,"body":"This is how we"},{"startTime":438.864,"endTime":440.604,"body":"talk to each other."},{"startTime":441.204,"endTime":443.664,"body":"And I mean, I've, I've got"},{"startTime":441.204,"endTime":443.664,"body":"a phrase that I use a lot"},{"startTime":443.664,"endTime":446.424,"body":"that nothing's a problem"},{"startTime":443.664,"endTime":446.424,"body":"unless it causes problems."},{"startTime":446.99399999999997,"endTime":449.24399999999997,"body":"And if it's causing a"},{"startTime":446.99399999999997,"endTime":449.24399999999997,"body":"problem, if it becomes"},{"startTime":449.574,"endTime":452.87399999999997,"body":"trauma, if it is generational"},{"startTime":449.574,"endTime":452.87399999999997,"body":"trauma that's been handed."},{"startTime":453.509,"endTime":457.319,"body":"Parent after parent, every"},{"startTime":453.509,"endTime":457.319,"body":"25 to 30 years, there comes"},{"startTime":457.319,"endTime":461.429,"body":"a point where one of those"},{"startTime":457.319,"endTime":461.429,"body":"people on that family tree is"},{"startTime":461.429,"endTime":465.096,"body":"the one that has to shoulder"},{"startTime":461.429,"endTime":465.096,"body":"the burden of being the"},{"startTime":465.096,"endTime":469.13599999999997,"body":"one to stop it, to override"},{"startTime":465.096,"endTime":469.13599999999997,"body":"all of that, to go against"},{"startTime":469.141,"endTime":471.626,"body":"their instincts and go,"},{"startTime":469.141,"endTime":471.626,"body":"I've gotta feel all this"},{"startTime":471.626,"endTime":474.536,"body":"feeling, but not pass it on."},{"startTime":474.956,"endTime":475.82599999999996,"body":"That's heavy."},{"startTime":475.831,"endTime":478.579,"body":"I would imagine also"},{"startTime":475.831,"endTime":478.579,"body":"there can be, conflicts"},{"startTime":478.584,"endTime":479.609,"body":"between the ghosts."},{"startTime":479.909,"endTime":483.30899999999997,"body":"I've just got this image of"},{"startTime":479.909,"endTime":483.30899999999997,"body":"a, a nursery full of ghosts,"},{"startTime":483.819,"endTime":485.549,"body":". It's very, very busy room."},{"startTime":486.009,"endTime":488.942,"body":"But even if you just take"},{"startTime":486.009,"endTime":488.942,"body":"it back, one generation"},{"startTime":488.942,"endTime":494.157,"body":"to the parents of the"},{"startTime":488.942,"endTime":494.157,"body":"babies, Grandparents."},{"startTime":494.54699999999997,"endTime":497.637,"body":"So you've got eight"},{"startTime":494.54699999999997,"endTime":497.637,"body":"people there, haven't you?"},{"startTime":497.817,"endTime":498.29699999999997,"body":"Yes."},{"startTime":499.017,"endTime":500.54699999999997,"body":"Each person has"},{"startTime":499.017,"endTime":500.54699999999997,"body":"four grandparents."},{"startTime":500.54699999999997,"endTime":502.257,"body":"So you've got"},{"startTime":500.54699999999997,"endTime":502.257,"body":"eight grandparents."},{"startTime":502.593,"endTime":502.71299999999997,"body":"Hmm."},{"startTime":502.883,"endTime":504.195,"body":"not in the town I grew up in."},{"startTime":508.105,"endTime":508.715,"body":"Anyway."},{"startTime":509.175,"endTime":510.045,"body":"that's another topic."},{"startTime":510.61,"endTime":512.86,"body":"you could, you could have"},{"startTime":510.61,"endTime":512.86,"body":"some real conflicts going"},{"startTime":512.86,"endTime":516.52,"body":"on there in terms of those"},{"startTime":512.86,"endTime":516.52,"body":"rules and the cultures"},{"startTime":516.52,"endTime":517.63,"body":"and the, what you should."},{"startTime":518.375,"endTime":520.99,"body":"and if those, those ghosts"},{"startTime":518.375,"endTime":520.99,"body":"are fighting there in the"},{"startTime":520.99,"endTime":522.265,"body":"nursery, what makes it"},{"startTime":522.4250000000001,"endTime":523.035,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"startTime":523.115,"endTime":523.475,"body":". Mm-hmm."},{"startTime":523.625,"endTime":524.225,"body":"Hmm."},{"startTime":524.465,"endTime":528.152,"body":"To add to that metaphorically,"},{"startTime":524.465,"endTime":528.152,"body":"if we think of, I'm"},{"startTime":528.152,"endTime":531.998,"body":"sure, everyone has seen"},{"startTime":528.152,"endTime":531.998,"body":"sleeping beauty or knows"},{"startTime":531.998,"endTime":533.588,"body":"of the story or has read."},{"startTime":533.888,"endTime":534.638,"body":"Or whatever."},{"startTime":534.638,"endTime":537.308,"body":"And if you think of"},{"startTime":534.638,"endTime":537.308,"body":"the whole Maleficent,"},{"startTime":537.308,"endTime":538.088,"body":"another great name."},{"startTime":538.325,"endTime":541.2180000000001,"body":"and, you know, the good"},{"startTime":538.325,"endTime":541.2180000000001,"body":"fairies the bad fairy, the"},{"startTime":541.2180000000001,"endTime":542.388,"body":"kind of the evil influence."},{"startTime":542.388,"endTime":545.4480000000001,"body":"And, and it's about actually"},{"startTime":542.388,"endTime":545.4480000000001,"body":"understanding that whether"},{"startTime":545.4480000000001,"endTime":548.6880000000001,"body":"it's intentional or not"},{"startTime":545.4480000000001,"endTime":548.6880000000001,"body":"intentional, the, the ghosts"},{"startTime":548.6880000000001,"endTime":553.6850000000001,"body":"provide good and  not so good"},{"startTime":548.6880000000001,"endTime":553.6850000000001,"body":"or not so helpful, as you say,"},{"startTime":553.6850000000001,"endTime":555.065,"body":"that can become a problem."},{"startTime":555.4200000000001,"endTime":559.2320000000001,"body":"so it's about understanding"},{"startTime":555.4200000000001,"endTime":559.2320000000001,"body":"that that influence is right"},{"startTime":559.2370000000001,"endTime":563.7,"body":"along the diversity of being"},{"startTime":559.2370000000001,"endTime":563.7,"body":"helpful and unhelpful, and"},{"startTime":563.7,"endTime":566.61,"body":"it's helping sometimes to"},{"startTime":563.7,"endTime":566.61,"body":"pick out the helpful bits as"},{"startTime":566.6400000000001,"endTime":568.1700000000001,"body":"well and maybe tweak them."},{"startTime":568.98,"endTime":569.4000000000001,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":569.4300000000001,"endTime":572.25,"body":"That, that can help parents"},{"startTime":569.4300000000001,"endTime":572.25,"body":"be the parent that they need"},{"startTime":572.25,"endTime":574.9350000000001,"body":"to be to the child, that"},{"startTime":572.25,"endTime":574.9350000000001,"body":"they're being a parent to."},{"startTime":575.543,"endTime":578.543,"body":"There's a phrase that crops"},{"startTime":575.543,"endTime":578.543,"body":"up a lot in what we do, and"},{"startTime":578.543,"endTime":580.913,"body":"that's the phrase good enough."},{"startTime":581.326,"endTime":585.226,"body":"Being a good enough parent and"},{"startTime":581.326,"endTime":585.226,"body":"good enough is good enough."},{"startTime":586.5010000000001,"endTime":589.681,"body":"If we try too hard to"},{"startTime":586.5010000000001,"endTime":589.681,"body":"be the perfect parent."},{"startTime":590.431,"endTime":592.5310000000001,"body":"We are probably not gonna"},{"startTime":590.431,"endTime":592.5310000000001,"body":"be, we are not gonna"},{"startTime":592.5310000000001,"endTime":594.9010000000001,"body":"help, if anything that"},{"startTime":592.5310000000001,"endTime":594.9010000000001,"body":"could cause problems"},{"startTime":594.9010000000001,"endTime":597.721,"body":"for ourselves, problems"},{"startTime":594.9010000000001,"endTime":597.721,"body":"that we pass on to them."},{"startTime":597.811,"endTime":599.5210000000001,"body":"They're babies and"},{"startTime":597.811,"endTime":599.5210000000001,"body":"children, you know, they"},{"startTime":599.5210000000001,"endTime":603.061,"body":"pick up on our anxiety,"},{"startTime":599.5210000000001,"endTime":603.061,"body":"they can smell our fear."},{"startTime":603.2710000000001,"endTime":607.711,"body":"They're like bears, you"},{"startTime":603.2710000000001,"endTime":607.711,"body":"know, . And that's not a,"},{"startTime":607.8610000000001,"endTime":611.1640000000001,"body":"that's not a nice environment"},{"startTime":607.8610000000001,"endTime":611.1640000000001,"body":"for the baby or for a young"},{"startTime":611.1640000000001,"endTime":615.4290000000001,"body":"child to constantly feel"},{"startTime":611.1640000000001,"endTime":615.4290000000001,"body":"there's something wrong here."},{"startTime":615.7890000000001,"endTime":617.7090000000001,"body":"I dunno what it is, but"},{"startTime":615.7890000000001,"endTime":617.7090000000001,"body":"there's something not"},{"startTime":617.7090000000001,"endTime":618.969,"body":"quite right, is it me?"},{"startTime":618.969,"endTime":621.1590000000001,"body":"After all, children of the"},{"startTime":618.969,"endTime":621.1590000000001,"body":"center of their universe,"},{"startTime":621.1590000000001,"endTime":622.119,"body":"they are the world."},{"startTime":622.6590000000001,"endTime":624.5490000000001,"body":"And so there's something"},{"startTime":622.6590000000001,"endTime":624.5490000000001,"body":"wrong with the world."},{"startTime":624.609,"endTime":626.0490000000001,"body":"There's something wrong"},{"startTime":624.609,"endTime":626.0490000000001,"body":"with the universe."},{"startTime":626.0540000000001,"endTime":627.399,"body":"And then they grow up"},{"startTime":626.0540000000001,"endTime":627.399,"body":"and that becomes part"},{"startTime":627.399,"endTime":628.4190000000001,"body":"of their personality."},{"startTime":628.509,"endTime":630.6560000000001,"body":"And that's delving"},{"startTime":628.509,"endTime":630.6560000000001,"body":"into personality"},{"startTime":630.6610000000001,"endTime":631.7660000000001,"body":"disorders at that point."},{"startTime":631.7660000000001,"endTime":635.336,"body":"So how about we just"},{"startTime":631.7660000000001,"endTime":635.336,"body":"be good enough, please?"},{"startTime":636.096,"endTime":639.9250000000001,"body":"Yes, just on that, being"},{"startTime":636.096,"endTime":639.9250000000001,"body":"perfect would be really a"},{"startTime":639.9250000000001,"endTime":644.875,"body":"bad idea because a child"},{"startTime":639.9250000000001,"endTime":644.875,"body":"doesn't learn from perfection."},{"startTime":645.1450000000001,"endTime":647.945,"body":"They wouldn't have a way"},{"startTime":645.1450000000001,"endTime":647.945,"body":"to cope when they go to"},{"startTime":647.945,"endTime":651.777,"body":"school and are met with"},{"startTime":647.945,"endTime":651.777,"body":"imperfection, let alone"},{"startTime":651.782,"endTime":655.2570000000001,"body":"when they start working and"},{"startTime":651.782,"endTime":655.2570000000001,"body":"have bosses who do strange"},{"startTime":655.2570000000001,"endTime":657.498,"body":"things and, are inconsistent."},{"startTime":657.678,"endTime":660.918,"body":"So any parents out there,"},{"startTime":657.678,"endTime":660.918,"body":"if you notice you've been"},{"startTime":660.9780000000001,"endTime":663.738,"body":"inconsistent, just say, oops."},{"startTime":664.3380000000001,"endTime":667.591,"body":"But at least it's taught"},{"startTime":664.3380000000001,"endTime":667.591,"body":"my child that people can be"},{"startTime":667.591,"endTime":669.2410000000001,"body":"inconsistent and it's okay."},{"startTime":669.428,"endTime":672.4830000000001,"body":"The, the other thing is, that"},{"startTime":669.428,"endTime":672.4830000000001,"body":"with us being imperfect, and"},{"startTime":672.4830000000001,"endTime":675.6080000000001,"body":"of course we are cause we're"},{"startTime":672.4830000000001,"endTime":675.6080000000001,"body":"humans, being the imperfect"},{"startTime":675.6080000000001,"endTime":679.7270000000001,"body":"parent helps the child when"},{"startTime":675.6080000000001,"endTime":679.7270000000001,"body":"they, make mistakes because"},{"startTime":679.7320000000001,"endTime":681.8570000000001,"body":"inevitably they will,"},{"startTime":679.7320000000001,"endTime":681.8570000000001,"body":"because they're human too."},{"startTime":682.187,"endTime":685.2170000000001,"body":"And so they're not"},{"startTime":682.187,"endTime":685.2170000000001,"body":"going to, have that."},{"startTime":685.643,"endTime":690.6270000000001,"body":"Uh, feeling of really, being"},{"startTime":685.643,"endTime":690.6270000000001,"body":"inadequate or incapable or"},{"startTime":690.6270000000001,"endTime":693.7170000000001,"body":"a failure or all of those"},{"startTime":690.6270000000001,"endTime":693.7170000000001,"body":"things, if they actually"},{"startTime":693.897,"endTime":698.307,"body":"have witnessed their parent"},{"startTime":693.897,"endTime":698.307,"body":"being imperfect and a parent,"},{"startTime":698.307,"endTime":699.417,"body":"that's okay with that."},{"startTime":700.277,"endTime":703.777,"body":"And okay to own up to that,"},{"startTime":700.277,"endTime":703.777,"body":"to go, oh, sorry about that."},{"startTime":703.777,"endTime":705.397,"body":"I think I overreacted"},{"startTime":703.777,"endTime":705.397,"body":"there, didn't I Mate."},{"startTime":705.8470000000001,"endTime":706.927,"body":"I've had to do"},{"startTime":705.8470000000001,"endTime":706.927,"body":"that throughout."},{"startTime":707.6220000000001,"endTime":710.6320000000001,"body":"My son's 18 now, but I"},{"startTime":707.6220000000001,"endTime":710.6320000000001,"body":"remembered saying those things"},{"startTime":710.6320000000001,"endTime":711.7420000000001,"body":"to him when he was young."},{"startTime":711.952,"endTime":712.642,"body":"Oh, sorry."},{"startTime":712.642,"endTime":714.812,"body":"I was, I was a bit, I was"},{"startTime":712.642,"endTime":714.812,"body":"a bit loud then, wasn't I?"},{"startTime":714.812,"endTime":715.4620000000001,"body":"I didn't, I'm sorry."},{"startTime":715.4620000000001,"endTime":716.392,"body":"I shouted there, didn't I?"},{"startTime":716.6320000000001,"endTime":717.2320000000001,"body":"Yeah, you did."},{"startTime":717.562,"endTime":717.7120000000001,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":717.7420000000001,"endTime":718.4620000000001,"body":"Sorry about that."},{"startTime":718.942,"endTime":720.2620000000001,"body":"And we just move on."},{"startTime":720.5020000000001,"endTime":722.692,"body":"But how easy would it"},{"startTime":720.5020000000001,"endTime":722.692,"body":"be if we hadn't already"},{"startTime":722.692,"endTime":724.912,"body":"had, you know, 10 years"},{"startTime":722.692,"endTime":724.912,"body":"of therapy at that point?"},{"startTime":725.667,"endTime":727.777,"body":"To go, well, I'm not"},{"startTime":725.667,"endTime":727.777,"body":"gonna admit that I, uh,"},{"startTime":727.8370000000001,"endTime":728.827,"body":"made a mistake there."},{"startTime":728.8570000000001,"endTime":731.047,"body":"If anything, I'm gonna"},{"startTime":728.8570000000001,"endTime":731.047,"body":"double down on on that."},{"startTime":731.077,"endTime":732.9670000000001,"body":"I'm gonna shout even"},{"startTime":731.077,"endTime":732.9670000000001,"body":"more to prove that it was"},{"startTime":732.9670000000001,"endTime":734.047,"body":"right, that I shouted."},{"startTime":734.047,"endTime":736.3570000000001,"body":"So I'm gonna shout even"},{"startTime":734.047,"endTime":736.3570000000001,"body":"more, rather than just say,"},{"startTime":736.3570000000001,"endTime":738.517,"body":"oh, I shouldn't have done"},{"startTime":736.3570000000001,"endTime":738.517,"body":"that and, and own up to"},{"startTime":738.522,"endTime":739.8370000000001,"body":"it and, you know, own it."},{"startTime":741.667,"endTime":744.547,"body":", we, we don't, because"},{"startTime":741.667,"endTime":744.547,"body":"we're full of anxiety"},{"startTime":744.547,"endTime":746.2570000000001,"body":"about making mistakes."},{"startTime":746.3470000000001,"endTime":748.017,"body":"Make them, it's"},{"startTime":748.1320000000001,"endTime":750.802,"body":"Just that, that phrase,"},{"startTime":748.1320000000001,"endTime":750.802,"body":"because I said so popped"},{"startTime":750.802,"endTime":753.4720000000001,"body":"into my head, uh, because"},{"startTime":750.802,"endTime":753.4720000000001,"body":"I know one of the things"},{"startTime":753.4720000000001,"endTime":756.952,"body":"where I was inconsistent"},{"startTime":753.4720000000001,"endTime":756.952,"body":"was rules around eating."},{"startTime":757.0120000000001,"endTime":760.8820000000001,"body":"And so one day it would"},{"startTime":757.0120000000001,"endTime":760.8820000000001,"body":"be, no, you can't have"},{"startTime":760.942,"endTime":762.7420000000001,"body":"any sweets at this time."},{"startTime":763.1320000000001,"endTime":765.152,"body":"And the next day it would"},{"startTime":763.1320000000001,"endTime":765.152,"body":"be, do you want a Mars bar?"},{"startTime":765.7120000000001,"endTime":769.7620000000001,"body":"And you know, the kids"},{"startTime":765.7120000000001,"endTime":769.7620000000001,"body":"notice these things and"},{"startTime":769.942,"endTime":772.822,"body":"when it's the no day, they"},{"startTime":769.942,"endTime":772.822,"body":"don't question it on the"},{"startTime":772.822,"endTime":775.8520000000001,"body":"yesterday, but on the no day"},{"startTime":772.822,"endTime":775.8520000000001,"body":"they'd say, but yesterday you"},{"startTime":775.8520000000001,"endTime":777.082,"body":"said, and then it comes out."},{"startTime":777.8770000000001,"endTime":781.47,"body":"Because I said so and the"},{"startTime":777.8770000000001,"endTime":781.47,"body":"thing, the thing with that"},{"startTime":781.5,"endTime":783.99,"body":"is you can get to the point"},{"startTime":781.5,"endTime":783.99,"body":"where you can laugh about it."},{"startTime":784.6500000000001,"endTime":788.7370000000001,"body":"And again, it teaches children"},{"startTime":784.6500000000001,"endTime":788.7370000000001,"body":"that inconsistency is just"},{"startTime":788.7370000000001,"endTime":793.2470000000001,"body":"part of life and it's okay,"},{"startTime":788.7370000000001,"endTime":793.2470000000001,"body":"just ma maximize the yes days."},{"startTime":794.985,"endTime":796.815,"body":"Shall we have a look at"},{"startTime":794.985,"endTime":796.815,"body":"those questions that we had?"},{"startTime":797.13,"endTime":797.73,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":797.735,"endTime":798.2,"body":"Good."},{"startTime":798.495,"endTime":803.715,"body":"We, we had one from listener"},{"startTime":798.495,"endTime":803.715,"body":"Andy, who says he's got a"},{"startTime":803.72,"endTime":806.7750000000001,"body":"question about how to manage"},{"startTime":803.72,"endTime":806.7750000000001,"body":"anxiety when out alone with"},{"startTime":806.7750000000001,"endTime":808.0350000000001,"body":"your baby or young child."},{"startTime":808.335,"endTime":810.8050000000001,"body":"And he said, I've noticed"},{"startTime":808.335,"endTime":810.8050000000001,"body":"that my wife and other mums"},{"startTime":811.065,"endTime":814.4250000000001,"body":"have a real anxiety over"},{"startTime":811.065,"endTime":814.4250000000001,"body":"being out of the home alone"},{"startTime":814.4250000000001,"endTime":817.455,"body":"with their little one crying,"},{"startTime":814.4250000000001,"endTime":817.455,"body":"not settling, disrupting"},{"startTime":817.455,"endTime":818.445,"body":"routines, et cetera."},{"startTime":818.475,"endTime":820.485,"body":"And I'll be interested"},{"startTime":818.475,"endTime":820.485,"body":"in hearing some tips for"},{"startTime":820.485,"endTime":822.945,"body":"managing this and for"},{"startTime":820.485,"endTime":822.945,"body":"dads in helping mums."},{"startTime":823.1550000000001,"endTime":825.1350000000001,"body":"I've observed also"},{"startTime":823.1550000000001,"endTime":825.1350000000001,"body":"that dads don't seem"},{"startTime":825.1350000000001,"endTime":827.8050000000001,"body":"to have this anywhere"},{"startTime":825.1350000000001,"endTime":827.8050000000001,"body":"near to the same extent."},{"startTime":828.585,"endTime":828.825,"body":"Hmm."},{"startTime":829.1830000000001,"endTime":830.3080000000001,"body":"actually, he's written"},{"startTime":829.1830000000001,"endTime":830.3080000000001,"body":"something else, but"},{"startTime":830.3080000000001,"endTime":831.778,"body":"we'll, we'll talk"},{"startTime":830.3080000000001,"endTime":831.778,"body":"about that in a moment."},{"startTime":831.778,"endTime":834.8380000000001,"body":"So, yeah, a question"},{"startTime":831.778,"endTime":834.8380000000001,"body":"there about maybe moms"},{"startTime":834.8380000000001,"endTime":837.148,"body":"being more anxious about"},{"startTime":834.8380000000001,"endTime":837.148,"body":"being a parent and getting"},{"startTime":837.148,"endTime":839.1880000000001,"body":"things right than dads."},{"startTime":839.668,"endTime":842.878,"body":"Is that something anecdotally"},{"startTime":839.668,"endTime":842.878,"body":"that you've seen in, in"},{"startTime":842.878,"endTime":844.648,"body":"your experience, Sharon?"},{"startTime":845.4430000000001,"endTime":848.9330000000001,"body":"So I think, first of all,"},{"startTime":845.4430000000001,"endTime":848.9330000000001,"body":"the point is raising there"},{"startTime":848.9330000000001,"endTime":852.113,"body":"about dads and don't seem"},{"startTime":848.9330000000001,"endTime":852.113,"body":"to get quite so anxious."},{"startTime":852.413,"endTime":854.6930000000001,"body":"That is not always the case."},{"startTime":854.6980000000001,"endTime":858.2170000000001,"body":"But I think what happens is,"},{"startTime":854.6980000000001,"endTime":858.2170000000001,"body":"society doesn't make it quite"},{"startTime":858.2170000000001,"endTime":861.8470000000001,"body":"as easy for dads to say,"},{"startTime":858.2170000000001,"endTime":861.8470000000001,"body":"actually, I'm struggling here."},{"startTime":862.2700000000001,"endTime":866.1400000000001,"body":"and plus, we're still in"},{"startTime":862.2700000000001,"endTime":866.1400000000001,"body":"a society where it is more"},{"startTime":866.1400000000001,"endTime":869.2,"body":"likely we're generalizing"},{"startTime":866.1400000000001,"endTime":869.2,"body":"here, that, that the mom"},{"startTime":869.23,"endTime":872.46,"body":"is spending more time with"},{"startTime":869.23,"endTime":872.46,"body":"the baby and, and almost."},{"startTime":872.6400000000001,"endTime":876.913,"body":"Society suggests that,"},{"startTime":872.6400000000001,"endTime":876.913,"body":"the mom, should hold that"},{"startTime":876.913,"endTime":879.3130000000001,"body":"kind of responsibility"},{"startTime":876.913,"endTime":879.3130000000001,"body":"for, for what's happening."},{"startTime":879.8530000000001,"endTime":883.373,"body":"We have a really, really,"},{"startTime":879.8530000000001,"endTime":883.373,"body":"really simple, simple, tip"},{"startTime":883.373,"endTime":887.149,"body":"of technique that we teach"},{"startTime":883.373,"endTime":887.149,"body":"moms and dad, whether they're"},{"startTime":887.4190000000001,"endTime":889.6690000000001,"body":"with their baby, whether"},{"startTime":887.4190000000001,"endTime":889.6690000000001,"body":"they're in with their baby."},{"startTime":889.926,"endTime":893.2230000000001,"body":"And it's to help them kind"},{"startTime":889.926,"endTime":893.2230000000001,"body":"of, stay in the here and now."},{"startTime":893.3130000000001,"endTime":897.1990000000001,"body":"But it's about, imagining,"},{"startTime":893.3130000000001,"endTime":897.1990000000001,"body":"a rectangular object."},{"startTime":897.1990000000001,"endTime":898.609,"body":"You can do this"},{"startTime":897.1990000000001,"endTime":898.609,"body":"with your eyes open."},{"startTime":898.6990000000001,"endTime":900.589,"body":"We're not suggesting that"},{"startTime":898.6990000000001,"endTime":900.589,"body":"you walk along the road"},{"startTime":900.594,"endTime":901.399,"body":"with your eyes closed."},{"startTime":901.399,"endTime":902.4490000000001,"body":"Please, please don't."},{"startTime":903.1830000000001,"endTime":905.8530000000001,"body":"So to imagine a"},{"startTime":903.1830000000001,"endTime":905.8530000000001,"body":"rectangular object."},{"startTime":906.033,"endTime":906.513,"body":"Okay?"},{"startTime":906.513,"endTime":909.5870000000001,"body":"It might be a mirror, it might"},{"startTime":906.513,"endTime":909.5870000000001,"body":"be a door, it might be, a"},{"startTime":909.5870000000001,"endTime":910.8770000000001,"body":"picture, a window, whatever."},{"startTime":911.417,"endTime":913.667,"body":"Obviously, if you're right"},{"startTime":911.417,"endTime":913.667,"body":"in nature, it doesn't te"},{"startTime":913.697,"endTime":916.427,"body":"there don't tend to be many"},{"startTime":913.697,"endTime":916.427,"body":"rectangular objects around."},{"startTime":916.73,"endTime":918.9440000000001,"body":"so you will have to"},{"startTime":916.73,"endTime":918.9440000000001,"body":"use your imagination."},{"startTime":919.0640000000001,"endTime":919.3040000000001,"body":"But,"},{"startTime":919.7710000000001,"endTime":922.5010000000001,"body":"either imagine or, or see,"},{"startTime":919.7710000000001,"endTime":922.5010000000001,"body":"you know, it may be that"},{"startTime":922.5010000000001,"endTime":925.466,"body":"you're walking through"},{"startTime":922.5010000000001,"endTime":925.466,"body":"a, a housing estate or"},{"startTime":925.466,"endTime":926.7560000000001,"body":"past doors or whatever."},{"startTime":926.936,"endTime":931.346,"body":"So wherever your rectangular"},{"startTime":926.936,"endTime":931.346,"body":"object is, what you wanna"},{"startTime":931.346,"endTime":935.0200000000001,"body":"do is very simply, time"},{"startTime":931.346,"endTime":935.0200000000001,"body":"your breath so that they"},{"startTime":935.0500000000001,"endTime":938.426,"body":"are, breathing in along the"},{"startTime":935.0500000000001,"endTime":938.426,"body":"short side and breathing"},{"startTime":938.556,"endTime":939.9060000000001,"body":"out along the long side."},{"startTime":940.152,"endTime":943.0020000000001,"body":"What it does is it helps"},{"startTime":940.152,"endTime":943.0020000000001,"body":"you be with you, helps"},{"startTime":943.0020000000001,"endTime":945.9720000000001,"body":"you be with your body"},{"startTime":943.0020000000001,"endTime":945.9720000000001,"body":"rather than all of those"},{"startTime":945.9720000000001,"endTime":949.902,"body":"thoughts taking you along"},{"startTime":945.9720000000001,"endTime":949.902,"body":"the anxiety fueling routes."},{"startTime":950.085,"endTime":953.745,"body":"what you can do is kind of add"},{"startTime":950.085,"endTime":953.745,"body":"in, um, very simply breathing"},{"startTime":953.745,"endTime":958.3950000000001,"body":"in the color of calm and out"},{"startTime":953.745,"endTime":958.3950000000001,"body":"the color of tension, again in"},{"startTime":958.3950000000001,"endTime":961.567,"body":"the color of calm along that"},{"startTime":958.3950000000001,"endTime":961.567,"body":"short side, out the color of"},{"startTime":961.567,"endTime":963.547,"body":"tension along that longside."},{"startTime":963.577,"endTime":966.4060000000001,"body":"So if you wanna add in a"},{"startTime":963.577,"endTime":966.4060000000001,"body":"color, that can actually"},{"startTime":966.4060000000001,"endTime":967.666,"body":"be a useful thing as well."},{"startTime":967.9060000000001,"endTime":970.9060000000001,"body":"And all the time it is"},{"startTime":967.9060000000001,"endTime":970.9060000000001,"body":"telling our nervous system."},{"startTime":971.7460000000001,"endTime":972.4860000000001,"body":"It's okay."},{"startTime":972.576,"endTime":975.426,"body":"We're safe,"},{"startTime":972.576,"endTime":975.426,"body":"everything is fine."},{"startTime":975.426,"endTime":977.436,"body":"Our baby's fine,"},{"startTime":975.426,"endTime":977.436,"body":"we're fine, whatever."},{"startTime":977.706,"endTime":978.1560000000001,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":978.729,"endTime":982.359,"body":"it's telling us to return that"},{"startTime":978.729,"endTime":982.359,"body":"nervous system to equilibrium"},{"startTime":982.599,"endTime":986.154,"body":"and so the breaths out alone,"},{"startTime":982.599,"endTime":986.154,"body":"help to send those right"},{"startTime":986.154,"endTime":987.864,"body":"messages back to your body."},{"startTime":988.2840000000001,"endTime":989.274,"body":"So that would be my tip."},{"startTime":989.623,"endTime":990.1030000000001,"body":"absolutely."},{"startTime":990.1030000000001,"endTime":993.154,"body":"Not only is that for the"},{"startTime":990.1030000000001,"endTime":993.154,"body":"nervous system, but also"},{"startTime":993.154,"endTime":995.6740000000001,"body":"psychologically that's, that's"},{"startTime":993.154,"endTime":995.6740000000001,"body":"sort of a distraction cuz"},{"startTime":995.6740000000001,"endTime":998.494,"body":"you're not thinking about"},{"startTime":995.6740000000001,"endTime":998.494,"body":"all the problems that could"},{"startTime":998.494,"endTime":1001.344,"body":"the, you know, the what ifs"},{"startTime":998.494,"endTime":1001.344,"body":"Most new parents go through"},{"startTime":1001.344,"endTime":1004.618,"body":"what ifs  and of course we,"},{"startTime":1001.344,"endTime":1004.618,"body":"we, we focus on the things"},{"startTime":1004.618,"endTime":1005.8480000000001,"body":"we fear, that's evolution."},{"startTime":1005.8480000000001,"endTime":1007.798,"body":"If we don't focus on the"},{"startTime":1005.8480000000001,"endTime":1007.798,"body":"things we fear, we wander"},{"startTime":1007.798,"endTime":1010.798,"body":"into literally the Bears Cave."},{"startTime":1011.3080000000001,"endTime":1014.908,"body":"So, If you can do anything"},{"startTime":1011.3080000000001,"endTime":1014.908,"body":"that can help your brain"},{"startTime":1015.2080000000001,"endTime":1017.3080000000001,"body":"become more focused on"},{"startTime":1015.2080000000001,"endTime":1017.3080000000001,"body":"something more optimistic,"},{"startTime":1017.3080000000001,"endTime":1019.618,"body":"more positive, more"},{"startTime":1017.3080000000001,"endTime":1019.618,"body":"calming, like you say,"},{"startTime":1019.618,"endTime":1023.008,"body":"breathing in something that"},{"startTime":1019.618,"endTime":1023.008,"body":"represents calm to you."},{"startTime":1023.0980000000001,"endTime":1025.607,"body":"and The idea of rectangles"},{"startTime":1023.0980000000001,"endTime":1025.607,"body":"think is quite good."},{"startTime":1025.637,"endTime":1027.437,"body":"Cuz although people talk"},{"startTime":1025.637,"endTime":1027.437,"body":"about square breathing"},{"startTime":1027.437,"endTime":1028.397,"body":"and you use all the sides."},{"startTime":1029.222,"endTime":1032.882,"body":"You can see with a rectangle"},{"startTime":1029.222,"endTime":1032.882,"body":"that I must make sure that"},{"startTime":1032.882,"endTime":1037.022,"body":"when I breathe out it's"},{"startTime":1032.882,"endTime":1037.022,"body":"slower than when I breathe in."},{"startTime":1037.502,"endTime":1040.022,"body":"Cuz that's gonna help a"},{"startTime":1037.502,"endTime":1040.022,"body":"sympathetic system that's"},{"startTime":1040.022,"endTime":1043.142,"body":"gonna help your nervous"},{"startTime":1040.022,"endTime":1043.142,"body":"system to go, okay,"},{"startTime":1043.442,"endTime":1045.602,"body":"now when I tell myself"},{"startTime":1043.442,"endTime":1045.602,"body":"everything's gonna be okay,"},{"startTime":1045.607,"endTime":1048.212,"body":"my unconscious, my emotions."},{"startTime":1048.7069999999999,"endTime":1049.577,"body":"Believe it."},{"startTime":1049.637,"endTime":1052.4569999999999,"body":"I'm not bashing against"},{"startTime":1049.637,"endTime":1052.4569999999999,"body":"a brick wall saying, oh"},{"startTime":1052.4569999999999,"endTime":1053.507,"body":"no, everything's fine."},{"startTime":1053.507,"endTime":1054.375,"body":"Everything's fine."},{"startTime":1054.375,"endTime":1056.0549999999998,"body":"When they're full"},{"startTime":1054.375,"endTime":1056.0549999999998,"body":"of adrenaline."},{"startTime":1056.655,"endTime":1059.445,"body":"No, you can calm down"},{"startTime":1056.655,"endTime":1059.445,"body":"and then remind yourself,"},{"startTime":1059.445,"endTime":1060.3149999999998,"body":"look, everything's fine."},{"startTime":1060.915,"endTime":1061.695,"body":"Everything's fine."},{"startTime":1061.695,"endTime":1062.985,"body":"I'm good enough."},{"startTime":1063.0449999999998,"endTime":1064.125,"body":"This is safe."},{"startTime":1064.5449999999998,"endTime":1065.175,"body":"Yeah, I like that."},{"startTime":1065.205,"endTime":1065.475,"body":"Of course."},{"startTime":1065.475,"endTime":1066.135,"body":"That's really, really useful."},{"startTime":1066.55,"endTime":1069.387,"body":"I think there's also"},{"startTime":1066.55,"endTime":1069.387,"body":"something about what is the"},{"startTime":1069.627,"endTime":1074.5359999999998,"body":"fear that mother of Andy's"},{"startTime":1069.627,"endTime":1074.5359999999998,"body":"child is anxious about?"},{"startTime":1075.166,"endTime":1078.326,"body":"And there was something there"},{"startTime":1075.166,"endTime":1078.326,"body":"that made me think she's"},{"startTime":1078.676,"endTime":1084.4299999999998,"body":"anxious that she will be"},{"startTime":1078.676,"endTime":1084.4299999999998,"body":"judged if the baby, and I'm"},{"startTime":1084.4299999999998,"endTime":1089.014,"body":"doing the, the symbol for in"},{"startTime":1084.4299999999998,"endTime":1089.014,"body":"quotes, misbehaves because"},{"startTime":1089.104,"endTime":1090.994,"body":"babies do not misbehave."},{"startTime":1091.5639999999999,"endTime":1095.0739999999998,"body":"That's an impossibility"},{"startTime":1091.5639999999999,"endTime":1095.0739999999998,"body":"because to misbehave you"},{"startTime":1095.0739999999998,"endTime":1097.894,"body":"have to know what behavior"},{"startTime":1095.0739999999998,"endTime":1097.894,"body":"is, and everything that a"},{"startTime":1097.894,"endTime":1099.934,"body":"baby does is for a purpose."},{"startTime":1099.934,"endTime":1101.7939999999999,"body":"I remember that with"},{"startTime":1099.934,"endTime":1101.7939999999999,"body":"my grand puppies."},{"startTime":1101.7939999999999,"endTime":1104.194,"body":"I don't have grandchildren"},{"startTime":1101.7939999999999,"endTime":1104.194,"body":"yet, but my grand puppies."},{"startTime":1104.994,"endTime":1105.154,"body":"Hmm."},{"startTime":1105.3039999999999,"endTime":1106.954,"body":"People saying, oh,"},{"startTime":1105.3039999999999,"endTime":1106.954,"body":"that dog's being, that"},{"startTime":1106.954,"endTime":1107.974,"body":"puppy's being naughty."},{"startTime":1108.214,"endTime":1109.384,"body":"No, it's not being naughty."},{"startTime":1109.654,"endTime":1111.604,"body":"Babies cannot be,"},{"startTime":1109.654,"endTime":1111.604,"body":"he's being a puppy."},{"startTime":1111.8139999999999,"endTime":1113.649,"body":"Babies likewise,"},{"startTime":1111.8139999999999,"endTime":1113.649,"body":"cannot be naughty."},{"startTime":1113.9189999999999,"endTime":1118.629,"body":"But the thing is that if"},{"startTime":1113.9189999999999,"endTime":1118.629,"body":"a a new mom is concerned"},{"startTime":1118.739,"endTime":1122.213,"body":"that she'll be out there"},{"startTime":1118.739,"endTime":1122.213,"body":"somewhere in the middle of"},{"startTime":1122.273,"endTime":1126.0529999999999,"body":"Marks and Spencer's when your"},{"startTime":1122.273,"endTime":1126.0529999999999,"body":"two year old has a tantrum,"},{"startTime":1126.277,"endTime":1128.647,"body":"and lies on the floor and"},{"startTime":1126.277,"endTime":1128.647,"body":"screams, which is what Greg"},{"startTime":1128.647,"endTime":1130.027,"body":"did on his second birthday."},{"startTime":1130.447,"endTime":1131.857,"body":"Marks and Spencer's in Exeter."},{"startTime":1131.917,"endTime":1133.3429999999998,"body":"There's probably"},{"startTime":1131.917,"endTime":1133.3429999999998,"body":"a plaque, to say."},{"startTime":1133.3429999999998,"endTime":1137.8339999999998,"body":"So, you know, if, if the"},{"startTime":1133.3429999999998,"endTime":1137.8339999999998,"body":"mother or father fears that"},{"startTime":1137.839,"endTime":1142.264,"body":"they would be judged or"},{"startTime":1137.839,"endTime":1142.264,"body":"that they can't do anything"},{"startTime":1142.269,"endTime":1143.5939999999998,"body":"and it will never end."},{"startTime":1143.684,"endTime":1146.744,"body":"It's the same sort of thing as"},{"startTime":1143.684,"endTime":1146.744,"body":"a panic episode where you sort"},{"startTime":1146.744,"endTime":1149.234,"body":"of feel that it's never going"},{"startTime":1146.744,"endTime":1149.234,"body":"to end, but of course it does,"},{"startTime":1150.3139999999999,"endTime":1155.2939999999999,"body":"and any mother, any father"},{"startTime":1150.3139999999999,"endTime":1155.2939999999999,"body":"can manage that situation,"},{"startTime":1155.654,"endTime":1159.816,"body":"even if it's pick the baby"},{"startTime":1155.654,"endTime":1159.816,"body":"up, steer the buggy with"},{"startTime":1159.816,"endTime":1163.869,"body":"one hand and get somewhere"},{"startTime":1159.816,"endTime":1163.869,"body":"else they can manage."},{"startTime":1164.399,"endTime":1164.819,"body":"Hmm."},{"startTime":1164.9489999999998,"endTime":1167.1689999999999,"body":"So they can't control"},{"startTime":1164.9489999999998,"endTime":1167.1689999999999,"body":"everything, but they"},{"startTime":1167.1689999999999,"endTime":1170.649,"body":"can manage anything to"},{"startTime":1167.1689999999999,"endTime":1170.649,"body":"get back to that lovely"},{"startTime":1171.2189999999998,"endTime":1173.019,"body":"phrase we've used before."},{"startTime":1173.589,"endTime":1177.48,"body":"So I think it's important to"},{"startTime":1173.589,"endTime":1177.48,"body":"look at what the anxieties are"},{"startTime":1177.856,"endTime":1178.126,"body":"Hmm."},{"startTime":1178.261,"endTime":1180.751,"body":"Yeah, because we do live"},{"startTime":1178.261,"endTime":1180.751,"body":"in a, in a judgmental"},{"startTime":1180.811,"endTime":1185.761,"body":"society, uh, uh, it's"},{"startTime":1180.811,"endTime":1185.761,"body":"almost part of being human"},{"startTime":1185.7659999999998,"endTime":1187.1409999999998,"body":"that we need to accept it."},{"startTime":1187.681,"endTime":1190.921,"body":"And by accept it, I don't"},{"startTime":1187.681,"endTime":1190.921,"body":"mean we say that it's okay."},{"startTime":1190.921,"endTime":1192.991,"body":"I mean, we have to accept"},{"startTime":1190.921,"endTime":1192.991,"body":"that humans are full of"},{"startTime":1193.231,"endTime":1197.8809999999999,"body":"cognitive biases and we, we"},{"startTime":1193.231,"endTime":1197.8809999999999,"body":"want to feel superior and."},{"startTime":1198.616,"endTime":1203.656,"body":"Any way of, of feeling that"},{"startTime":1198.616,"endTime":1203.656,"body":"superiority by pointing"},{"startTime":1203.656,"endTime":1205.216,"body":"a finger at somebody else"},{"startTime":1203.656,"endTime":1205.216,"body":"and saying, well, I must"},{"startTime":1205.216,"endTime":1207.586,"body":"be a good parent because"},{"startTime":1205.216,"endTime":1207.586,"body":"look at that bad one."},{"startTime":1207.798,"endTime":1210.288,"body":"my child is obviously"},{"startTime":1207.798,"endTime":1210.288,"body":"wonderful because look"},{"startTime":1210.288,"endTime":1211.398,"body":"at that awful one."},{"startTime":1211.403,"endTime":1213.648,"body":"Oh, my son's gonna"},{"startTime":1211.403,"endTime":1213.648,"body":"be okay, because that"},{"startTime":1213.653,"endTime":1214.4279999999999,"body":"one's a nightmare."},{"startTime":1215.2859999999998,"endTime":1219.2459999999999,"body":"I think that is part of"},{"startTime":1215.2859999999998,"endTime":1219.2459999999999,"body":"being human, unfortunately."},{"startTime":1219.2459999999999,"endTime":1222.7559999999999,"body":"It's what we do with it that,"},{"startTime":1219.2459999999999,"endTime":1222.7559999999999,"body":"that causes any problems."},{"startTime":1222.7559999999999,"endTime":1225.156,"body":"If, yeah, if we then"},{"startTime":1222.7559999999999,"endTime":1225.156,"body":"voice those judgments,"},{"startTime":1226.146,"endTime":1228.336,"body":"uh, then that's just"},{"startTime":1226.146,"endTime":1228.336,"body":"being deliberately rude."},{"startTime":1228.425,"endTime":1232.5049999999999,"body":"the realism of this is that"},{"startTime":1228.425,"endTime":1232.5049999999999,"body":"in any situation like that,"},{"startTime":1232.5349999999999,"endTime":1235.655,"body":"I was thinking of, uh, a baby"},{"startTime":1232.5349999999999,"endTime":1235.655,"body":"screaming on a plane, which is"},{"startTime":1235.865,"endTime":1238.415,"body":"also one that I've had myself."},{"startTime":1239.147,"endTime":1241.982,"body":"and witnessed plenty"},{"startTime":1239.147,"endTime":1241.982,"body":"of others having it."},{"startTime":1242.6119999999999,"endTime":1247.052,"body":"Most people will understand"},{"startTime":1242.6119999999999,"endTime":1247.052,"body":"because they've been there."},{"startTime":1247.982,"endTime":1251.1019999999999,"body":"Some people will offer"},{"startTime":1247.982,"endTime":1251.1019999999999,"body":"to help, which really can"},{"startTime":1251.107,"endTime":1254.432,"body":"help at times somebody"},{"startTime":1251.107,"endTime":1254.432,"body":"can take the baby."},{"startTime":1255.062,"endTime":1259.252,"body":"Remember one time when Jack"},{"startTime":1255.062,"endTime":1259.252,"body":"was sick on a train somebody"},{"startTime":1259.2569999999998,"endTime":1263.042,"body":"took Greg, who was only about"},{"startTime":1259.2569999999998,"endTime":1263.042,"body":"six months old, just held"},{"startTime":1263.042,"endTime":1265.682,"body":"Greg whilst I sorted out Jack."},{"startTime":1265.8919999999998,"endTime":1267.3319999999999,"body":"We are getting"},{"startTime":1265.8919999999998,"endTime":1267.3319999999999,"body":"off the next stop."},{"startTime":1267.482,"endTime":1267.992,"body":"Oops."},{"startTime":1268.442,"endTime":1269.522,"body":"It was very embarrassing."},{"startTime":1269.762,"endTime":1272.252,"body":"Um, but , but things happen."},{"startTime":1273.032,"endTime":1276.902,"body":"But, but no, everybody,"},{"startTime":1273.032,"endTime":1276.902,"body":"well, nobody expressed"},{"startTime":1276.907,"endTime":1281.452,"body":"anything other than,"},{"startTime":1276.907,"endTime":1281.452,"body":"kindness, sympathy, and help."},{"startTime":1281.962,"endTime":1285.532,"body":"But you know, that's the thing"},{"startTime":1281.962,"endTime":1285.532,"body":"is also is, is to, is to not"},{"startTime":1285.532,"endTime":1287.8819999999998,"body":"presume all the negatives."},{"startTime":1287.887,"endTime":1290.702,"body":"And then as you say, Richard,"},{"startTime":1287.887,"endTime":1290.702,"body":"if, if people are being"},{"startTime":1290.702,"endTime":1292.652,"body":"negative, they're doing"},{"startTime":1290.702,"endTime":1292.652,"body":"so for their own reasons."},{"startTime":1293.205,"endTime":1293.5929999999998,"body":"Hmm."},{"startTime":1293.5929999999998,"endTime":1296.203,"body":"And thinking back to, to"},{"startTime":1293.5929999999998,"endTime":1296.203,"body":"Andy's question is one of"},{"startTime":1296.203,"endTime":1300.147,"body":"the big anxiety fuelers,"},{"startTime":1296.203,"endTime":1300.147,"body":"that, that we find is"},{"startTime":1300.152,"endTime":1302.577,"body":"actually the internal judge."},{"startTime":1302.694,"endTime":1303.654,"body":"so people."},{"startTime":1304.435,"endTime":1307.645,"body":"actually comparing themselves"},{"startTime":1304.435,"endTime":1307.645,"body":"to if, if they're out whether"},{"startTime":1307.645,"endTime":1309.985,"body":"it's at a toddler group or"},{"startTime":1307.645,"endTime":1309.985,"body":"whether they're walking along,"},{"startTime":1310.225,"endTime":1312.655,"body":"they'll compare to other"},{"startTime":1310.225,"endTime":1312.655,"body":"parents, other children."},{"startTime":1312.946,"endTime":1316.916,"body":"And of course, very often they"},{"startTime":1312.946,"endTime":1316.916,"body":"then confirm that that's it."},{"startTime":1317.126,"endTime":1321.521,"body":"I am awful, or my child"},{"startTime":1317.126,"endTime":1321.521,"body":"is, challenging or"},{"startTime":1321.781,"endTime":1324.835,"body":"they're not, reaching"},{"startTime":1321.781,"endTime":1324.835,"body":"their developmentally,"},{"startTime":1324.835,"endTime":1325.615,"body":"you know, that."},{"startTime":1325.715,"endTime":1326.0649999999998,"body":"Oh,"},{"startTime":1326.58,"endTime":1327.45,"body":"Communicating."},{"startTime":1327.45,"endTime":1329.1599999999999,"body":"My child's just"},{"startTime":1327.45,"endTime":1329.1599999999999,"body":"screaming, you know?"},{"startTime":1329.3999999999999,"endTime":1332.97,"body":"So this constant comparison,"},{"startTime":1329.3999999999999,"endTime":1332.97,"body":"and we, we've got this"},{"startTime":1332.97,"endTime":1335.9399999999998,"body":"lovely, um, another metaphor,"},{"startTime":1332.97,"endTime":1335.9399999999998,"body":"but we've got this lovely"},{"startTime":1335.945,"endTime":1338.4299999999998,"body":"picture of two very,"},{"startTime":1335.945,"endTime":1338.4299999999998,"body":"very different flowers."},{"startTime":1338.61,"endTime":1341.3999999999999,"body":"you know, one tall and"},{"startTime":1338.61,"endTime":1341.3999999999999,"body":"kind of pink and the"},{"startTime":1341.405,"endTime":1344.2649999999999,"body":"other kind of quite short"},{"startTime":1341.405,"endTime":1344.2649999999999,"body":"with lots of leaves in"},{"startTime":1344.2649999999999,"endTime":1345.2849999999999,"body":"other words, different."},{"startTime":1345.681,"endTime":1349.0629999999999,"body":"and one flower is saying to"},{"startTime":1345.681,"endTime":1349.0629999999999,"body":"the other, oh, you know, I'm"},{"startTime":1349.0629999999999,"endTime":1350.5929999999998,"body":"not growing as fast as you."},{"startTime":1351.513,"endTime":1354.068,"body":"and the second flower"},{"startTime":1351.513,"endTime":1354.068,"body":"says, well, we're different"},{"startTime":1354.0729999999999,"endTime":1358.58,"body":"plants, silly and I always"},{"startTime":1354.0729999999999,"endTime":1358.58,"body":"say that to, to parents,"},{"startTime":1358.58,"endTime":1362.33,"body":"it's that comparison of how"},{"startTime":1358.58,"endTime":1362.33,"body":"exactly can you even compare"},{"startTime":1362.48,"endTime":1365.81,"body":"either your parenting, your"},{"startTime":1362.48,"endTime":1365.81,"body":"parenting of your child, how"},{"startTime":1365.8149999999998,"endTime":1367.1599999999999,"body":"can you compare children?"},{"startTime":1367.25,"endTime":1369.6499999999999,"body":"We are all so,"},{"startTime":1367.25,"endTime":1369.6499999999999,"body":"so, so different."},{"startTime":1369.807,"endTime":1373.116,"body":"so that's another way of"},{"startTime":1369.807,"endTime":1373.116,"body":"kind of reducing anxiety,"},{"startTime":1373.2359999999999,"endTime":1377.181,"body":"obviously, I'm assuming that"},{"startTime":1373.2359999999999,"endTime":1377.181,"body":"that, might be of use to"},{"startTime":1377.181,"endTime":1378.1409999999998,"body":"your listeners out there."},{"startTime":1378.404,"endTime":1379.604,"body":"Fiona is absolutely right."},{"startTime":1379.604,"endTime":1382.513,"body":"It depends what that anxiety"},{"startTime":1379.604,"endTime":1382.513,"body":"is, kind of how we would,"},{"startTime":1382.836,"endTime":1384.126,"body":"we would work on those tips."},{"startTime":1384.46,"endTime":1384.6399999999999,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1384.6399999999999,"endTime":1387.04,"body":"Andy had a second,"},{"startTime":1384.6399999999999,"endTime":1387.04,"body":"uh, second question."},{"startTime":1387.04,"endTime":1387.37,"body":"He said."},{"startTime":1387.55,"endTime":1389.8,"body":"If I can throw in a"},{"startTime":1387.55,"endTime":1389.8,"body":"second question, not"},{"startTime":1389.8,"endTime":1392.23,"body":"specifically related to"},{"startTime":1389.8,"endTime":1392.23,"body":"early years, it would be."},{"startTime":1393.29,"endTime":1396.56,"body":"What age is the right age"},{"startTime":1393.29,"endTime":1396.56,"body":"to start talking about"},{"startTime":1396.56,"endTime":1399.26,"body":"a parent's mental health"},{"startTime":1396.56,"endTime":1399.26,"body":"challenge and how to go"},{"startTime":1399.26,"endTime":1401.27,"body":"about this, particularly"},{"startTime":1399.26,"endTime":1401.27,"body":"when a child may actually"},{"startTime":1401.2749999999999,"endTime":1403.9099999999999,"body":"spot signs from an early age."},{"startTime":1404.36,"endTime":1407.271,"body":"That's quite an interesting"},{"startTime":1404.36,"endTime":1407.271,"body":"one that, um, that has popped"},{"startTime":1407.271,"endTime":1408.4109999999998,"body":"up in the therapy room before."},{"startTime":1408.4109999999998,"endTime":1411.287,"body":"I've had parents say,"},{"startTime":1408.4109999999998,"endTime":1411.287,"body":"my child needs to know."},{"startTime":1413.437,"endTime":1416.077,"body":"I don't wanna ruin their"},{"startTime":1413.437,"endTime":1416.077,"body":"childhood by saying, Hey,"},{"startTime":1417.0069999999998,"endTime":1418.387,"body":"sometimes I go off on one."},{"startTime":1418.387,"endTime":1419.377,"body":"And this is why."},{"startTime":1420.1409999999998,"endTime":1421.341,"body":"It's tricky, isn't it?"},{"startTime":1421.6109999999999,"endTime":1422.451,"body":"It really is."},{"startTime":1422.59,"endTime":1425.059,"body":"and again, you, you"},{"startTime":1422.59,"endTime":1425.059,"body":"hinted at it earlier,"},{"startTime":1425.119,"endTime":1427.4289999999999,"body":"there isn't a particular"},{"startTime":1425.119,"endTime":1427.4289999999999,"body":"right age for everybody."},{"startTime":1427.4289999999999,"endTime":1429.109,"body":"Cause not everybody"},{"startTime":1427.4289999999999,"endTime":1429.109,"body":"goes in the same box."},{"startTime":1429.109,"endTime":1430.309,"body":"We're all different plants."},{"startTime":1430.999,"endTime":1434.0439999999999,"body":"it's whatever is the"},{"startTime":1430.999,"endTime":1434.0439999999999,"body":"right time for the system,"},{"startTime":1434.164,"endTime":1437.434,"body":"for the family, for"},{"startTime":1434.164,"endTime":1437.434,"body":"the child, and for you."},{"startTime":1438.3039999999999,"endTime":1441.762,"body":"But unless there is some"},{"startTime":1438.3039999999999,"endTime":1441.762,"body":"formula, which I don't"},{"startTime":1441.7669999999998,"endTime":1444.1699999999998,"body":"think there is, anybody"},{"startTime":1441.7669999999998,"endTime":1444.1699999999998,"body":"know of a formula?"},{"startTime":1445.4479999999999,"endTime":1448.367,"body":"there isn't a formula, again,"},{"startTime":1445.4479999999999,"endTime":1448.367,"body":"because of, being different."},{"startTime":1448.3719999999998,"endTime":1451.277,"body":"I think it's testing"},{"startTime":1448.3719999999998,"endTime":1451.277,"body":"out all the time."},{"startTime":1451.277,"endTime":1453.711,"body":"Whether it's talking"},{"startTime":1451.277,"endTime":1453.711,"body":"about a parent's mental"},{"startTime":1453.716,"endTime":1454.701,"body":"health issues or whatever."},{"startTime":1454.8809999999999,"endTime":1457.731,"body":"It's testing out what the"},{"startTime":1454.8809999999999,"endTime":1457.731,"body":"child seems to understand."},{"startTime":1457.818,"endTime":1460.137,"body":"And part of that, if"},{"startTime":1457.818,"endTime":1460.137,"body":"they're verbal, obviously."},{"startTime":1460.98,"endTime":1462.96,"body":"You wouldn't start to have a"},{"startTime":1460.98,"endTime":1462.96,"body":"conversation about something"},{"startTime":1462.96,"endTime":1464.01,"body":"like this if they weren't."},{"startTime":1464.3619999999999,"endTime":1467.182,"body":"then just checking out"},{"startTime":1464.3619999999999,"endTime":1467.182,"body":"the child's understanding."},{"startTime":1467.482,"endTime":1470.992,"body":"But I wouldn't say, oh, by the"},{"startTime":1467.482,"endTime":1470.992,"body":"way, you know, this is what's"},{"startTime":1470.9969999999998,"endTime":1472.1019999999999,"body":"going on for your parent."},{"startTime":1472.312,"endTime":1475.042,"body":"I think a child's only"},{"startTime":1472.312,"endTime":1475.042,"body":"capable, certainly primary"},{"startTime":1475.042,"endTime":1477.682,"body":"school and preschool as"},{"startTime":1475.042,"endTime":1477.682,"body":"we're talking about here,"},{"startTime":1477.682,"endTime":1481.533,"body":"children, aren't really gonna"},{"startTime":1477.682,"endTime":1481.533,"body":"understand anything other"},{"startTime":1481.533,"endTime":1484.706,"body":"than the impact for them or"},{"startTime":1481.533,"endTime":1484.706,"body":"on the family so maybe talk in"},{"startTime":1484.706,"endTime":1488.394,"body":"terms of behavior, you know,"},{"startTime":1484.706,"endTime":1488.394,"body":"whether it's mommy sometimes"},{"startTime":1488.399,"endTime":1489.2939999999999,"body":"needs a bit of space."},{"startTime":1489.2939999999999,"endTime":1492.144,"body":"Or sometimes mommy can"},{"startTime":1489.2939999999999,"endTime":1492.144,"body":"be angry or sometimes"},{"startTime":1492.442,"endTime":1494.915,"body":"daddy can be upset or"},{"startTime":1492.442,"endTime":1494.915,"body":"whatever it might be."},{"startTime":1495.176,"endTime":1498.416,"body":"so to talk in terms of what"},{"startTime":1495.176,"endTime":1498.416,"body":"the child is experiencing"},{"startTime":1498.716,"endTime":1502.733,"body":"and then maybe to, talk"},{"startTime":1498.716,"endTime":1502.733,"body":"about, the impact on, them."},{"startTime":1502.917,"endTime":1504.867,"body":"that would be my call."},{"startTime":1505.2269999999999,"endTime":1507.867,"body":"But I think children need"},{"startTime":1505.2269999999999,"endTime":1507.867,"body":"to know what they are"},{"startTime":1507.867,"endTime":1509.367,"body":"capable of understanding."},{"startTime":1509.7469999999998,"endTime":1512.597,"body":"so as early as they are"},{"startTime":1509.7469999999998,"endTime":1512.597,"body":"capable of understanding"},{"startTime":1512.6019999999999,"endTime":1513.527,"body":"it, if that makes sense."},{"startTime":1513.532,"endTime":1513.8319999999999,"body":"I think"},{"startTime":1514.012,"endTime":1518.465,"body":"there's also something"},{"startTime":1514.012,"endTime":1518.465,"body":"about the awareness in a"},{"startTime":1518.465,"endTime":1521.2279999999998,"body":"parent that there's a need."},{"startTime":1521.418,"endTime":1525.828,"body":"To discuss, to be open and"},{"startTime":1521.418,"endTime":1525.828,"body":"for a child to understand"},{"startTime":1526.578,"endTime":1531.415,"body":"is so much better than"},{"startTime":1526.578,"endTime":1531.415,"body":"the default position of I"},{"startTime":1531.415,"endTime":1532.5549999999998,"body":"need to keep it to myself."},{"startTime":1533.345,"endTime":1535.415,"body":"So the fact that they've"},{"startTime":1533.345,"endTime":1535.415,"body":"got the awareness that"},{"startTime":1535.415,"endTime":1539.2279999999998,"body":"this has an impact and"},{"startTime":1535.415,"endTime":1539.2279999999998,"body":"that there is a potential"},{"startTime":1539.348,"endTime":1541.518,"body":"to do something with that."},{"startTime":1541.9279999999999,"endTime":1544.9679999999998,"body":"Is a really great first"},{"startTime":1541.9279999999999,"endTime":1544.9679999999998,"body":"step, and then it's, it's"},{"startTime":1544.9679999999998,"endTime":1548.9879999999998,"body":"a sort of muddle together"},{"startTime":1544.9679999999998,"endTime":1548.9879999999998,"body":"of, of how you do it."},{"startTime":1549.138,"endTime":1550.998,"body":"You just sort of muddle along."},{"startTime":1551.328,"endTime":1554.415,"body":"But being open, if you say"},{"startTime":1551.328,"endTime":1554.415,"body":"something to a child that"},{"startTime":1554.415,"endTime":1556.935,"body":"they don't understand, well,"},{"startTime":1554.415,"endTime":1556.935,"body":"they don't understand it."},{"startTime":1556.965,"endTime":1557.625,"body":"It doesn't matter."},{"startTime":1558.115,"endTime":1559.3049999999998,"body":"it's not the end of the world."},{"startTime":1559.599,"endTime":1564.379,"body":"You say mommy's taking"},{"startTime":1559.599,"endTime":1564.379,"body":"and then some long fangled"},{"startTime":1564.819,"endTime":1566.349,"body":"name of some medication."},{"startTime":1567.684,"endTime":1568.194,"body":"That's okay."},{"startTime":1568.194,"endTime":1572.779,"body":"It you don't have to spend"},{"startTime":1568.194,"endTime":1572.779,"body":"too much effort in getting"},{"startTime":1572.779,"endTime":1576.589,"body":"it right, because they"},{"startTime":1572.779,"endTime":1576.589,"body":"will understand what they"},{"startTime":1576.589,"endTime":1579.889,"body":"understand and then you can"},{"startTime":1576.589,"endTime":1579.889,"body":"learn what they understand"},{"startTime":1579.889,"endTime":1581.119,"body":"by their responses."},{"startTime":1581.273,"endTime":1584.836,"body":"I think a lot of good can"},{"startTime":1581.273,"endTime":1584.836,"body":"come right at the foundations"},{"startTime":1584.836,"endTime":1587.846,"body":"before we're able to have"},{"startTime":1584.836,"endTime":1587.846,"body":"any conversation like that."},{"startTime":1588.5359999999998,"endTime":1591.596,"body":"Is right at the start of"},{"startTime":1588.5359999999998,"endTime":1591.596,"body":"of a child's development"},{"startTime":1591.596,"endTime":1594.2359999999999,"body":"is learning about their"},{"startTime":1591.596,"endTime":1594.2359999999999,"body":"emotions quite simply"},{"startTime":1594.6129999999998,"endTime":1597.943,"body":"that the child can learn"},{"startTime":1594.6129999999998,"endTime":1597.943,"body":"that there isn't just this"},{"startTime":1597.943,"endTime":1600.013,"body":"dichotomous, happy or sad."},{"startTime":1600.0729999999999,"endTime":1602.503,"body":"There isn't just this"},{"startTime":1600.0729999999999,"endTime":1602.503,"body":"polarized, good or bad."},{"startTime":1602.768,"endTime":1606.128,"body":"There are lots, there's a"},{"startTime":1602.768,"endTime":1606.128,"body":"huge spectrum of emotions and"},{"startTime":1606.128,"endTime":1610.193,"body":"so you talk about emotions"},{"startTime":1606.128,"endTime":1610.193,"body":"and when a, child that could"},{"startTime":1610.193,"endTime":1614.453,"body":"only be nine months old at"},{"startTime":1610.193,"endTime":1614.453,"body":"this point or, or eight or"},{"startTime":1614.453,"endTime":1616.433,"body":"seven or 10 or 18, whatever."},{"startTime":1617.251,"endTime":1618.6609999999998,"body":"You feed it back."},{"startTime":1618.691,"endTime":1621.1209999999999,"body":"You feed back how, how"},{"startTime":1618.691,"endTime":1621.1209999999999,"body":"they're feeling to them."},{"startTime":1621.331,"endTime":1622.5549999999998,"body":"Oh, you seem disappointed."},{"startTime":1623.0349999999999,"endTime":1625.3149999999998,"body":"And the, the child"},{"startTime":1623.0349999999999,"endTime":1625.3149999999998,"body":"learns, oh, this feeling"},{"startTime":1625.3149999999998,"endTime":1626.365,"body":"is disappointment."},{"startTime":1626.425,"endTime":1627.7749999999999,"body":"It's not angry."},{"startTime":1627.985,"endTime":1628.975,"body":"They're acting angry."},{"startTime":1628.975,"endTime":1630.895,"body":"But as a parent, you can"},{"startTime":1628.975,"endTime":1630.895,"body":"see why they're angry."},{"startTime":1631.0649999999998,"endTime":1631.645,"body":"They're disappointed."},{"startTime":1632.4299999999998,"endTime":1634.8899999999999,"body":"The advert on the television"},{"startTime":1632.4299999999998,"endTime":1634.8899999999999,"body":"was just an advert."},{"startTime":1634.8899999999999,"endTime":1636.9299999999998,"body":"It wasn't that their"},{"startTime":1634.8899999999999,"endTime":1636.9299999999998,"body":"show was about to start."},{"startTime":1637.299,"endTime":1641.049,"body":"if you can feed to a child"},{"startTime":1637.299,"endTime":1641.049,"body":"the information about how"},{"startTime":1641.0539999999999,"endTime":1644.289,"body":"they're feeling, then when"},{"startTime":1641.0539999999999,"endTime":1644.289,"body":"they're a little bit older and"},{"startTime":1644.2939999999999,"endTime":1649.479,"body":"you have to say, oh, you know"},{"startTime":1644.2939999999999,"endTime":1649.479,"body":"the big feelings that we get?"},{"startTime":1649.479,"endTime":1651.309,"body":"And the child goes,"},{"startTime":1649.479,"endTime":1651.309,"body":"yeah, I get big feelings."},{"startTime":1651.309,"endTime":1653.559,"body":"Get little feelings, and"},{"startTime":1651.309,"endTime":1653.559,"body":"I'll get those big ones that"},{"startTime":1653.559,"endTime":1656.649,"body":"make me startled or angry."},{"startTime":1657.369,"endTime":1660.099,"body":"Tense and I'm gonna"},{"startTime":1657.369,"endTime":1660.099,"body":"smash something."},{"startTime":1661.4189999999999,"endTime":1663.6689999999999,"body":"Well, daddy gets like that"},{"startTime":1661.4189999999999,"endTime":1663.6689999999999,"body":"sometimes, and this is how I"},{"startTime":1663.6689999999999,"endTime":1667.269,"body":"deal with it, and this is what"},{"startTime":1663.6689999999999,"endTime":1667.269,"body":"I do, and I go through this"},{"startTime":1667.269,"endTime":1670.389,"body":"rectangular breathing thing,"},{"startTime":1667.269,"endTime":1670.389,"body":"or I have to leave the room,"},{"startTime":1670.389,"endTime":1673.539,"body":"or I start to cry because I'm"},{"startTime":1670.389,"endTime":1673.539,"body":"a little bit sad because of my"},{"startTime":1673.5439999999999,"endTime":1676.749,"body":"big feelings and this is just"},{"startTime":1673.5439999999999,"endTime":1676.749,"body":"what I do and that's okay."},{"startTime":1677.019,"endTime":1679.779,"body":"Or I need some time to"},{"startTime":1677.019,"endTime":1679.779,"body":"myself, whatever it is."},{"startTime":1680.364,"endTime":1682.5539999999999,"body":"If they've got that"},{"startTime":1680.364,"endTime":1682.5539999999999,"body":"understanding underneath"},{"startTime":1682.5539999999999,"endTime":1685.224,"body":"that, there's lots of"},{"startTime":1682.5539999999999,"endTime":1685.224,"body":"feelings that humans have."},{"startTime":1685.854,"endTime":1689.664,"body":"You've got a great"},{"startTime":1685.854,"endTime":1689.664,"body":"foundation for their future."},{"startTime":1689.874,"endTime":1693.249,"body":"You've really provided"},{"startTime":1689.874,"endTime":1693.249,"body":"something solid for them"},{"startTime":1693.249,"endTime":1694.329,"body":"when they're older to go."},{"startTime":1694.329,"endTime":1695.4689999999998,"body":"What's going on for me?"},{"startTime":1695.8149999999998,"endTime":1697.675,"body":"They don't have to have"},{"startTime":1695.8149999999998,"endTime":1697.675,"body":"another five years of therapy"},{"startTime":1697.675,"endTime":1699.0549999999998,"body":"to figure it out first."},{"startTime":1699.205,"endTime":1702.895,"body":"you know, if we can prevent"},{"startTime":1699.205,"endTime":1702.895,"body":"that in our children."},{"startTime":1703.225,"endTime":1705.985,"body":"Not that you can, I think"},{"startTime":1703.225,"endTime":1705.985,"body":"everybody should have therapy."},{"startTime":1705.99,"endTime":1707.0049999999999,"body":"I mean, I'm a therapist."},{"startTime":1707.395,"endTime":1710.0349999999999,"body":"If I didn't think it was great"},{"startTime":1707.395,"endTime":1710.0349999999999,"body":"or I, I wouldn't do this."},{"startTime":1710.735,"endTime":1714.655,"body":"But if everybody could dip"},{"startTime":1710.735,"endTime":1714.655,"body":"in and outta therapy every"},{"startTime":1714.655,"endTime":1717.475,"body":"couple of, you know, few"},{"startTime":1714.655,"endTime":1717.475,"body":"weeks of the year, maybe,"},{"startTime":1717.475,"endTime":1719.455,"body":"maybe even just for six"},{"startTime":1717.475,"endTime":1719.455,"body":"months, every 10 years."},{"startTime":1719.455,"endTime":1720.0249999999999,"body":"Great."},{"startTime":1721.2949999999998,"endTime":1723.8149999999998,"body":"There's gonna be some that"},{"startTime":1721.2949999999998,"endTime":1723.8149999999998,"body":"need therapy every month for"},{"startTime":1723.8149999999998,"endTime":1727.2949999999998,"body":"the rest of their life, or"},{"startTime":1723.8149999999998,"endTime":1727.2949999999998,"body":"every two weeks for 20 years."},{"startTime":1727.865,"endTime":1731.585,"body":"If we can prevent that by"},{"startTime":1727.865,"endTime":1731.585,"body":"very early on teaching a child"},{"startTime":1731.59,"endTime":1735.665,"body":"the difference between guilt"},{"startTime":1731.59,"endTime":1735.665,"body":"and disappointment, then they"},{"startTime":1735.665,"endTime":1739.745,"body":"don't just have anger all the"},{"startTime":1735.665,"endTime":1739.745,"body":"time, which then turns inward"},{"startTime":1739.75,"endTime":1741.935,"body":"when, well, it's my fault,"},{"startTime":1739.75,"endTime":1741.935,"body":"I'm feeling angry, and then"},{"startTime":1741.935,"endTime":1744.345,"body":"they hate themselves and it"},{"startTime":1741.935,"endTime":1744.345,"body":"lowers their self-esteem."},{"startTime":1744.635,"endTime":1747.0349999999999,"body":"There's so much that can"},{"startTime":1744.635,"endTime":1747.0349999999999,"body":"be done in those first"},{"startTime":1747.0349999999999,"endTime":1749.165,"body":"five years of life."},{"startTime":1750.183,"endTime":1752.793,"body":"as I, as I'm saying all"},{"startTime":1750.183,"endTime":1752.793,"body":"of this, I'm reminded of a"},{"startTime":1752.793,"endTime":1758.204,"body":"conversation I heard somebody"},{"startTime":1752.793,"endTime":1758.204,"body":"say about maybe I had an"},{"startTime":1758.2089999999998,"endTime":1761.5739999999998,"body":"element of this wanting my son"},{"startTime":1758.2089999999998,"endTime":1761.5739999999998,"body":"to be a little version of me."},{"startTime":1762.9389999999999,"endTime":1766.539,"body":"Because he's a boy, so,"},{"startTime":1762.9389999999999,"endTime":1766.539,"body":"well, I'm, I'm a man, so he's"},{"startTime":1766.539,"endTime":1767.6789999999999,"body":"gonna be a little mini me."},{"startTime":1768.069,"endTime":1772.539,"body":"And in many ways my son"},{"startTime":1768.069,"endTime":1772.539,"body":"is, uh, very much like"},{"startTime":1772.539,"endTime":1775.9289999999999,"body":"me, but he's also so much"},{"startTime":1772.539,"endTime":1775.9289999999999,"body":"like his mom, of course,"},{"startTime":1775.9289999999999,"endTime":1778.809,"body":"because he's become himself."},{"startTime":1779.4689999999998,"endTime":1781.029,"body":"He's not just me."},{"startTime":1781.269,"endTime":1783.999,"body":"But I think when you"},{"startTime":1781.269,"endTime":1783.999,"body":"become a parent, there is"},{"startTime":1783.999,"endTime":1784.989,"body":"that thing in your mind."},{"startTime":1786.009,"endTime":1789.729,"body":"I'm gonna shape them, shape"},{"startTime":1786.009,"endTime":1789.729,"body":"them into, into being just"},{"startTime":1789.729,"endTime":1791.589,"body":"the better version of me."},{"startTime":1791.889,"endTime":1795.529,"body":"No . Let them just be"},{"startTime":1791.889,"endTime":1795.529,"body":"the best version of them."},{"startTime":1795.789,"endTime":1798.129,"body":"I remember saying I was"},{"startTime":1795.789,"endTime":1798.129,"body":"going to, going to teach"},{"startTime":1798.129,"endTime":1802.059,"body":"Jack as he was my first one,"},{"startTime":1798.129,"endTime":1802.059,"body":"that I was going to teach"},{"startTime":1802.059,"endTime":1803.499,"body":"him to be really romantic."},{"startTime":1803.499,"endTime":1805.479,"body":"I thought this was"},{"startTime":1803.499,"endTime":1805.479,"body":"a , a really good thing."},{"startTime":1805.999,"endTime":1806.649,"body":"Um, yeah."},{"startTime":1806.7089999999998,"endTime":1806.979,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1806.979,"endTime":1808.4189999999999,"body":"I, I, I failed."},{"startTime":1808.899,"endTime":1809.619,"body":"I, I failed."},{"startTime":1809.769,"endTime":1812.049,"body":"No, not completely."},{"startTime":1812.4389999999999,"endTime":1815.711,"body":"But Ellie, if she ever does"},{"startTime":1812.4389999999999,"endTime":1815.711,"body":"listen to this episode, would"},{"startTime":1815.951,"endTime":1818.321,"body":"snort if she was listening"},{"startTime":1815.951,"endTime":1818.321,"body":"to that on the train."},{"startTime":1819.472,"endTime":1821.962,"body":"but it's, it's still,"},{"startTime":1819.472,"endTime":1821.962,"body":"it's not the opposite."},{"startTime":1822.0819999999999,"endTime":1825.307,"body":"So he just doesn't do that"},{"startTime":1822.0819999999999,"endTime":1825.307,"body":"sort of thing that well."},{"startTime":1825.367,"endTime":1827.6409999999998,"body":"But yeah, that, that"},{"startTime":1825.367,"endTime":1827.6409999999998,"body":"was a thing that I had."},{"startTime":1828.028,"endTime":1829.213,"body":"Sharon, what do you"},{"startTime":1828.028,"endTime":1829.213,"body":"think about the,"},{"startTime":1829.666,"endTime":1833.326,"body":"the idea of parents"},{"startTime":1829.666,"endTime":1833.326,"body":"wanting to shape their"},{"startTime":1833.326,"endTime":1834.916,"body":"children into mini mes"},{"startTime":1835.2,"endTime":1836.55,"body":"Uh, good luck."},{"startTime":1837.5839999999998,"endTime":1841.646,"body":"I think , I think as"},{"startTime":1837.5839999999998,"endTime":1841.646,"body":"Richard, definitely said they"},{"startTime":1841.646,"endTime":1843.446,"body":"are, uh, they are unique."},{"startTime":1843.4759999999999,"endTime":1844.586,"body":"They're their own person."},{"startTime":1844.586,"endTime":1848.158,"body":"And, you know, we often,"},{"startTime":1844.586,"endTime":1848.158,"body":"hear, um, parents kind of"},{"startTime":1848.158,"endTime":1850.618,"body":"said, well, you know, we"},{"startTime":1848.158,"endTime":1850.618,"body":"want them to be interested"},{"startTime":1850.618,"endTime":1853.683,"body":"in this, or we want them to"},{"startTime":1850.618,"endTime":1853.683,"body":"do that, or, we want them"},{"startTime":1853.683,"endTime":1857.6219999999998,"body":"to, excel at school because"},{"startTime":1853.683,"endTime":1857.6219999999998,"body":"I did, and whatever, so, so"},{"startTime":1857.6219999999998,"endTime":1860.712,"body":"all sorts of ways that they'll"},{"startTime":1857.6219999999998,"endTime":1860.712,"body":"go, no, I don't shape them."},{"startTime":1860.712,"endTime":1862.0919999999999,"body":"I let them be who they are."},{"startTime":1862.2069999999999,"endTime":1864.637,"body":"And then you find all"},{"startTime":1862.2069999999999,"endTime":1864.637,"body":"these little nuances"},{"startTime":1864.637,"endTime":1866.347,"body":"where you go, oh, okay."},{"startTime":1866.677,"endTime":1868.927,"body":"Um, are you really"},{"startTime":1866.677,"endTime":1868.927,"body":"allowing them, them"},{"startTime":1868.962,"endTime":1870.042,"body":"just to be themselves?"},{"startTime":1870.451,"endTime":1873.014,"body":"I always remember,"},{"startTime":1870.451,"endTime":1873.014,"body":"my youngest, Bethan."},{"startTime":1873.579,"endTime":1876.546,"body":"She would, she would do"},{"startTime":1873.579,"endTime":1876.546,"body":"this, this party trick"},{"startTime":1876.546,"endTime":1879.277,"body":"where she was helping"},{"startTime":1876.546,"endTime":1879.277,"body":"people, to find their way."},{"startTime":1879.3609999999999,"endTime":1881.081,"body":"In other words, if you"},{"startTime":1879.3609999999999,"endTime":1881.081,"body":"were driving along in a"},{"startTime":1881.086,"endTime":1884.021,"body":"car and she'd been there"},{"startTime":1881.086,"endTime":1884.021,"body":"before, she would from"},{"startTime":1884.021,"endTime":1886.541,"body":"the age of three actually"},{"startTime":1884.021,"endTime":1886.541,"body":"tell you where to turn."},{"startTime":1886.6309999999999,"endTime":1888.521,"body":"She didn't even know"},{"startTime":1886.6309999999999,"endTime":1888.521,"body":"what was right and left."},{"startTime":1888.521,"endTime":1889.211,"body":"She would just."},{"startTime":1889.4109999999998,"endTime":1891.6609999999998,"body":"You know, say done this"},{"startTime":1889.4109999999998,"endTime":1891.6609999999998,"body":"way, done this way."},{"startTime":1891.721,"endTime":1894.211,"body":"Some quite complicated"},{"startTime":1891.721,"endTime":1894.211,"body":"journeys, and it used"},{"startTime":1894.211,"endTime":1896.461,"body":"to be like her, her"},{"startTime":1894.211,"endTime":1896.461,"body":"kind of party trick."},{"startTime":1896.673,"endTime":1899.133,"body":"now my spatial awareness"},{"startTime":1896.673,"endTime":1899.133,"body":"of how to get from"},{"startTime":1899.133,"endTime":1901.1129999999998,"body":"A to B is so awful."},{"startTime":1901.4669999999999,"endTime":1903.2859999999998,"body":"that, that I certainly"},{"startTime":1901.4669999999999,"endTime":1903.2859999999998,"body":"wouldn't want it to be"},{"startTime":1903.2859999999998,"endTime":1904.936,"body":"a, to be me in that case."},{"startTime":1905.146,"endTime":1908.696,"body":"But it's about, I suppose,"},{"startTime":1905.146,"endTime":1908.696,"body":"encouraging that the"},{"startTime":1908.701,"endTime":1909.646,"body":"bits that are them, the."},{"startTime":1910.431,"endTime":1911.721,"body":"That are, that are them."},{"startTime":1912.021,"endTime":1915.5629999999999,"body":"Um, and certainly not trying"},{"startTime":1912.021,"endTime":1915.5629999999999,"body":"to shape them to be you."},{"startTime":1915.8229999999999,"endTime":1919.143,"body":"And that's also in like,"},{"startTime":1915.8229999999999,"endTime":1919.143,"body":"like, you know, food interests"},{"startTime":1919.148,"endTime":1920.464,"body":"and, that sort of stuff."},{"startTime":1920.464,"endTime":1923.0739999999998,"body":"Of course, we've gotta give"},{"startTime":1920.464,"endTime":1923.0739999999998,"body":"guidance and advice otherwise"},{"startTime":1923.079,"endTime":1926.4489999999998,"body":"that all eat, a certain"},{"startTime":1923.079,"endTime":1926.4489999999998,"body":"burger and chips all the time."},{"startTime":1926.868,"endTime":1930.191,"body":"that I won't mention, maybe"},{"startTime":1926.868,"endTime":1930.191,"body":"we're like the, the BBC that"},{"startTime":1930.191,"endTime":1932.501,"body":"we're not allowed to, to"},{"startTime":1930.191,"endTime":1932.501,"body":"kind of mention, um, brand"},{"startTime":1932.596,"endTime":1934.816,"body":"you wanna slag off McDonald's,"},{"startTime":1932.596,"endTime":1934.816,"body":"you're very welcome to."},{"startTime":1934.821,"endTime":1935.5059999999999,"body":"It's fine."},{"startTime":1935.596,"endTime":1937.186,"body":"You know it's not good food."},{"startTime":1937.191,"endTime":1938.446,"body":"We know it deep down"},{"startTime":1939.821,"endTime":1940.261,"body":"Occasionally."},{"startTime":1941.128,"endTime":1943.858,"body":"So, so of course we've,"},{"startTime":1941.128,"endTime":1943.858,"body":"we've gotta not say,"},{"startTime":1943.858,"endTime":1944.578,"body":"right, that's it."},{"startTime":1944.578,"endTime":1947.158,"body":"You're, you're kind of,"},{"startTime":1944.578,"endTime":1947.158,"body":"you, you be who you are."},{"startTime":1947.308,"endTime":1950.158,"body":"We've gotta give guidance and"},{"startTime":1947.308,"endTime":1950.158,"body":"advice because they don't have"},{"startTime":1950.158,"endTime":1954.5339999999999,"body":"that maturity yet, to be able"},{"startTime":1950.158,"endTime":1954.5339999999999,"body":"to, to make those, choices."},{"startTime":1954.855,"endTime":1957.345,"body":"But we can help them"},{"startTime":1954.855,"endTime":1957.345,"body":"whilst all the times"},{"startTime":1957.375,"endTime":1960.2179999999998,"body":"kind of understanding how"},{"startTime":1957.375,"endTime":1960.2179999999998,"body":"their personality, like"},{"startTime":1960.2179999999998,"endTime":1962.7079999999999,"body":"Bethan and our spatial"},{"startTime":1960.2179999999998,"endTime":1962.7079999999999,"body":"awareness, how that's,"},{"startTime":1962.9779999999998,"endTime":1964.058,"body":"that's actually develop."},{"startTime":1964.3609999999999,"endTime":1966.796,"body":"and um, what's really"},{"startTime":1964.3609999999999,"endTime":1966.796,"body":"interesting is that the"},{"startTime":1966.796,"endTime":1969.826,"body":"bridge between the two"},{"startTime":1966.796,"endTime":1969.826,"body":"hemispheres in our brain,"},{"startTime":1970.321,"endTime":1971.221,"body":"The corpus callosum."},{"startTime":1971.9859999999999,"endTime":1973.2559999999999,"body":"Corpus callosum."},{"startTime":1973.306,"endTime":1974.656,"body":"Well done get"},{"startTime":1974.701,"endTime":1977.011,"body":"Hey, I did pay"},{"startTime":1974.701,"endTime":1977.011,"body":"attention in that class,"},{"startTime":1977.191,"endTime":1978.421,"body":"yeah, you did indeed."},{"startTime":1978.481,"endTime":1982.072,"body":"Um, that, that bridge we"},{"startTime":1978.481,"endTime":1982.072,"body":"now know doesn't, properly"},{"startTime":1982.077,"endTime":1983.412,"body":"develop until we're 12."},{"startTime":1983.742,"endTime":1985.932,"body":"And so the two parts"},{"startTime":1983.742,"endTime":1985.932,"body":"of the brain aren't,"},{"startTime":1985.963,"endTime":1987.066,"body":"talking to each other."},{"startTime":1987.396,"endTime":1991.258,"body":"And so when we're seeing like"},{"startTime":1987.396,"endTime":1991.258,"body":"massive, shows of emotion and"},{"startTime":1991.258,"endTime":1994.528,"body":"stuff, sometimes all you can"},{"startTime":1991.258,"endTime":1994.528,"body":"do is, is try and kind of."},{"startTime":1995.023,"endTime":1997.8129999999999,"body":"Be with a child or hold them"},{"startTime":1995.023,"endTime":1997.8129999999999,"body":"if they'll let you anywhere"},{"startTime":1997.818,"endTime":2000.8129999999999,"body":"near, um, you know, and"},{"startTime":1997.818,"endTime":2000.8129999999999,"body":"actually just kind of let"},{"startTime":2000.8129999999999,"endTime":2002.3429999999998,"body":"that fire go out a little bit."},{"startTime":2002.585,"endTime":2006.455,"body":"so it's another way of kind of"},{"startTime":2002.585,"endTime":2006.455,"body":"not expecting your child to be"},{"startTime":2006.665,"endTime":2010.5349999999999,"body":"quite like you because maybe"},{"startTime":2006.665,"endTime":2010.5349999999999,"body":"they can't, not, not yet."},{"startTime":2010.745,"endTime":2012.965,"body":"Maybe they can't understand"},{"startTime":2010.745,"endTime":2012.965,"body":"those same things."},{"startTime":2013.115,"endTime":2015.995,"body":"Maybe they can't regulate"},{"startTime":2013.115,"endTime":2015.995,"body":"their emotions in the same way"},{"startTime":2016.145,"endTime":2017.7649999999999,"body":"because actually they can't."},{"startTime":2018.245,"endTime":2018.725,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2018.7849999999999,"endTime":2019.0549999999998,"body":"Not."},{"startTime":2019.175,"endTime":2019.46,"body":"Wow."},{"startTime":2020.615,"endTime":2022.73,"body":"So kind of went a little"},{"startTime":2020.615,"endTime":2022.73,"body":"bit off topic there"},{"startTime":2022.77,"endTime":2024.0919999999999,"body":"with the shaping, but"},{"startTime":2024.1879999999999,"endTime":2024.578,"body":"No, that's"},{"startTime":2024.578,"endTime":2024.848,"body":"really,"},{"startTime":2024.8529999999998,"endTime":2025.2079999999999,"body":"yeah,"},{"startTime":2025.4479999999999,"endTime":2026.408,"body":"No, that's really,"},{"startTime":2025.4479999999999,"endTime":2026.408,"body":"interesting."},{"startTime":2026.408,"endTime":2027.118,"body":"Thank you, Sharon."},{"startTime":2027.648,"endTime":2028.818,"body":"Well, I'll tell you"},{"startTime":2027.648,"endTime":2028.818,"body":"what, it's been lovely"},{"startTime":2028.818,"endTime":2029.568,"body":"having you on here."},{"startTime":2029.568,"endTime":2030.588,"body":"Thank you very much, Sharon."},{"startTime":2030.9479999999999,"endTime":2032.598,"body":"And at some point in the"},{"startTime":2030.9479999999999,"endTime":2032.598,"body":"future it would be nice"},{"startTime":2032.598,"endTime":2035.118,"body":"to have you back on chat"},{"startTime":2032.598,"endTime":2035.118,"body":"about something else."},{"startTime":2035.1779999999999,"endTime":2037.098,"body":"I think our audience"},{"startTime":2035.1779999999999,"endTime":2037.098,"body":"would, uh, would really"},{"startTime":2037.098,"endTime":2038.7179999999998,"body":"like to hear all from you."},{"startTime":2038.808,"endTime":2039.618,"body":"I really, really would."},{"startTime":2039.971,"endTime":2041.261,"body":"I can chat about most things."},{"startTime":2042.8039999999999,"endTime":2043.216,"body":"Well,"},{"startTime":2043.216,"endTime":2043.6309999999999,"body":"That's"},{"startTime":2044.191,"endTime":2044.311,"body":"we"},{"startTime":2044.7459999999999,"endTime":2045.076,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2045.181,"endTime":2045.811,"body":"into this."},{"startTime":2045.841,"endTime":2046.261,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2046.306,"endTime":2047.5359999999998,"body":"Yes, we can natter."},{"startTime":2047.5359999999998,"endTime":2049.621,"body":"We, we can definitely"},{"startTime":2047.5359999999998,"endTime":2049.621,"body":"turn the mic live and just"},{"startTime":2049.621,"endTime":2050.701,"body":"have a good old natter."},{"startTime":2051.121,"endTime":2053.341,"body":"But we still need to"},{"startTime":2051.121,"endTime":2053.341,"body":"bring it to a close."},{"startTime":2053.341,"endTime":2054.931,"body":"We can't keep nattering for"},{"startTime":2053.341,"endTime":2054.931,"body":"the rest of the day cause"},{"startTime":2054.931,"endTime":2058.231,"body":"we've got, we've got clients"},{"startTime":2054.931,"endTime":2058.231,"body":"to see and work to do, so we"},{"startTime":2058.231,"endTime":2059.881,"body":"better crack on with that."},{"startTime":2060.391,"endTime":2063.931,"body":"As always, there's a link"},{"startTime":2060.391,"endTime":2063.931,"body":"in the show notes to a page"},{"startTime":2063.931,"endTime":2065.911,"body":"on a website where you can"},{"startTime":2063.931,"endTime":2065.911,"body":"fill in a form, send us a"},{"startTime":2065.911,"endTime":2068.4610000000002,"body":"question if you've got a topic"},{"startTime":2065.911,"endTime":2068.4610000000002,"body":"idea or there's something"},{"startTime":2068.4610000000002,"endTime":2069.451,"body":"you'd like to hear about."},{"startTime":2069.631,"endTime":2073.4410000000003,"body":"Let us know and we'll be"},{"startTime":2069.631,"endTime":2073.4410000000003,"body":"back next week to natter"},{"startTime":2073.4410000000003,"endTime":2074.881,"body":"about something else."},{"startTime":2075.031,"endTime":2076.561,"body":"Have a super duper"},{"startTime":2075.031,"endTime":2076.561,"body":"week everybody."},{"startTime":2076.741,"endTime":2079.291,"body":"See you next time and"},{"startTime":2076.741,"endTime":2079.291,"body":"thank you so much, Sharon,"},{"startTime":2079.4410000000003,"endTime":2080.431,"body":"for coming on board"},{"startTime":2080.431,"endTime":2080.8810000000003,"body":"today."},{"startTime":2081.5260000000003,"endTime":2082.246,"body":"Bye everybody."},{"startTime":2082.471,"endTime":2083.757,"body":"you, take care everybody."},{"startTime":2084.047,"endTime":2084.9770000000003,"body":"Bye-bye."}]}