{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":39.606,"endTime":40.476,"body":"Hi there, everybody."},{"startTime":40.536,"endTime":43.116,"body":"Welcome to the Therapy"},{"startTime":40.536,"endTime":43.116,"body":"Natters podcast."},{"startTime":44.076,"endTime":46.986000000000004,"body":"Each week myself, Richard"},{"startTime":44.076,"endTime":46.986000000000004,"body":"Nicholls, and fellow"},{"startTime":46.986000000000004,"endTime":48.696,"body":"psychotherapist Fiona Biddle."},{"startTime":48.876000000000005,"endTime":51.906,"body":"We're gonna sit down"},{"startTime":48.876000000000005,"endTime":51.906,"body":"and natter away into a"},{"startTime":51.911,"endTime":54.906,"body":"microphone of one sort"},{"startTime":51.911,"endTime":54.906,"body":"or another and talk all"},{"startTime":54.906,"endTime":58.146,"body":"about why psychological"},{"startTime":54.906,"endTime":58.146,"body":"therapies are great."},{"startTime":58.446,"endTime":61.025999999999996,"body":"Hey, Fiona, what's"},{"startTime":58.446,"endTime":61.025999999999996,"body":"going on with you?"},{"startTime":61.086,"endTime":62.226,"body":"Are you tickety boo?"},{"startTime":62.976,"endTime":65.646,"body":"Oh, a fairly tickety boo,"},{"startTime":62.976,"endTime":65.646,"body":"but not quite sure my"},{"startTime":65.646,"endTime":69.43299999999999,"body":"computer is, and all things"},{"startTime":65.646,"endTime":69.43299999999999,"body":"tech playing up a bit."},{"startTime":69.43299999999999,"endTime":70.963,"body":"So I'm using,"},{"startTime":71.098,"endTime":72.19800000000001,"body":"proper microphone, have you?"},{"startTime":72.318,"endTime":74.803,"body":"I haven't got my, well, I've"},{"startTime":72.318,"endTime":74.803,"body":"got my proper microphone."},{"startTime":74.953,"endTime":76.063,"body":"Yes, it's here,"},{"startTime":76.43,"endTime":77.191,"body":"Well, that's a good start."},{"startTime":77.386,"endTime":79.946,"body":"plugging it in makes"},{"startTime":77.386,"endTime":79.946,"body":"absolutely no difference."},{"startTime":79.946,"endTime":81.74600000000001,"body":"So I'm on a strange computer"},{"startTime":81.74600000000001,"endTime":82.616,"body":"and no mic."},{"startTime":82.616,"endTime":85.586,"body":"So sorry for my sound quality."},{"startTime":85.941,"endTime":87.531,"body":"we love you anyway."},{"startTime":87.561,"endTime":88.461,"body":"I wouldn't worry."},{"startTime":88.566,"endTime":89.056,"body":"Richard."},{"startTime":89.584,"endTime":90.904,"body":"Am I tickety, boo?"},{"startTime":91.564,"endTime":92.25399999999999,"body":"Yeah, I am."},{"startTime":92.75399999999999,"endTime":93.324,"body":"I'm all right."},{"startTime":93.384,"endTime":94.28399999999999,"body":"I'm doing all right."},{"startTime":94.374,"endTime":96.41399999999999,"body":"I just had my therapy"},{"startTime":94.374,"endTime":96.41399999999999,"body":"session actually, which is"},{"startTime":96.41399999999999,"endTime":98.094,"body":"why we're doing this at a"},{"startTime":96.41399999999999,"endTime":98.094,"body":"slightly different time."},{"startTime":98.244,"endTime":99.714,"body":"A little bit of"},{"startTime":98.244,"endTime":99.714,"body":"self-disclosure"},{"startTime":99.714,"endTime":100.614,"body":"for you all there."},{"startTime":100.91399999999999,"endTime":103.66399999999999,"body":"Yeah, I've just had my therapy"},{"startTime":100.91399999999999,"endTime":103.66399999999999,"body":"session, so it was quite nice"},{"startTime":103.66399999999999,"endTime":105.154,"body":"to see if I was tickety boo."},{"startTime":105.78399999999999,"endTime":109.69399999999999,"body":"Yeah, I'm mostly tickety boo,"},{"startTime":105.78399999999999,"endTime":109.69399999999999,"body":"but then I just come from a"},{"startTime":109.69399999999999,"endTime":112.244,"body":"therapy session so I can't"},{"startTime":109.69399999999999,"endTime":112.244,"body":"be a hundred percent tickety"},{"startTime":112.244,"endTime":114.314,"body":"boo, but then is anybody."},{"startTime":114.35900000000001,"endTime":116.549,"body":"the seal of approval"},{"startTime":114.35900000000001,"endTime":116.549,"body":"from your therapist,"},{"startTime":116.63900000000001,"endTime":117.31899999999999,"body":"you, you have to go."},{"startTime":117.32900000000001,"endTime":118.529,"body":"And check that you are right."},{"startTime":118.529,"endTime":118.88900000000001,"body":"Do you?"},{"startTime":119.23400000000001,"endTime":120.04400000000001,"body":"I am good to go."},{"startTime":120.04400000000001,"endTime":121.75399999999999,"body":"Yeah, I can be."},{"startTime":121.844,"endTime":123.494,"body":"I can be released"},{"startTime":121.844,"endTime":123.494,"body":"onto the public."},{"startTime":124.124,"endTime":124.78399999999999,"body":"I'm safe."},{"startTime":125.429,"endTime":127.10900000000001,"body":"You're safe for now at least."},{"startTime":127.124,"endTime":128.534,"body":"Hey, we've got another"},{"startTime":127.124,"endTime":128.534,"body":"guest, haven't we?"},{"startTime":129.234,"endTime":131.424,"body":"Well, we have a visitor"},{"startTime":129.234,"endTime":131.424,"body":"again, don't we?"},{"startTime":132.124,"endTime":132.284,"body":"Hmm"},{"startTime":132.329,"endTime":134.579,"body":"As we've been doing a"},{"startTime":132.329,"endTime":134.579,"body":"few times since our 50th"},{"startTime":134.579,"endTime":138.399,"body":"episode, we have Lauren"},{"startTime":134.579,"endTime":138.399,"body":"Jacobs with us today."},{"startTime":138.944,"endTime":142.224,"body":"Lauren is a hypno"},{"startTime":138.944,"endTime":142.224,"body":"psychotherapist who works in"},{"startTime":142.224,"endTime":144.114,"body":"southwest London and online."},{"startTime":144.174,"endTime":147.144,"body":"So if what she has to say"},{"startTime":144.174,"endTime":147.144,"body":"interests you, you'll be"},{"startTime":147.149,"endTime":149.154,"body":"able to find her that way."},{"startTime":149.664,"endTime":153.384,"body":"And Lauren has a particular"},{"startTime":149.664,"endTime":153.384,"body":"interest in working with"},{"startTime":153.634,"endTime":155.124,"body":"clients for fertility."},{"startTime":155.784,"endTime":157.489,"body":"So that's what we are"},{"startTime":155.784,"endTime":157.489,"body":"going to have a little"},{"startTime":157.489,"endTime":158.569,"body":"natter about today."},{"startTime":159.144,"endTime":159.624,"body":"Hi Lauren."},{"startTime":160.262,"endTime":161.042,"body":"Hi, Fiona."},{"startTime":161.042,"endTime":161.822,"body":"Hi, Richard."},{"startTime":162.152,"endTime":164.162,"body":"Hello, how are you doing?"},{"startTime":164.402,"endTime":165.09199999999998,"body":"Yeah, I'm good."},{"startTime":165.09199999999998,"endTime":165.53199999999998,"body":"Thank you."},{"startTime":165.59199999999998,"endTime":166.09199999999998,"body":"How are you?"},{"startTime":166.697,"endTime":171.49699999999999,"body":"Super duper always good, or"},{"startTime":166.697,"endTime":171.49699999999999,"body":"is that, is that just denial?"},{"startTime":171.587,"endTime":172.727,"body":"Am I always good?"},{"startTime":173.027,"endTime":176.807,"body":"I think I'm a, I'm a,"},{"startTime":173.027,"endTime":176.807,"body":"I'm a curious character."},{"startTime":177.197,"endTime":177.947,"body":"I really am."},{"startTime":178.24699999999999,"endTime":180.917,"body":"I've been playing this happy"},{"startTime":178.24699999999999,"endTime":180.917,"body":"character for a long time"},{"startTime":180.917,"endTime":183.557,"body":"now, and I'm waiting to crash."},{"startTime":184.037,"endTime":186.737,"body":"I haven't yet, but I do"},{"startTime":184.037,"endTime":186.737,"body":"wonder if I'm just gonna"},{"startTime":186.737,"endTime":189.077,"body":"fall off the cliff with"},{"startTime":186.737,"endTime":189.077,"body":"it one day and go, no, the"},{"startTime":189.077,"endTime":191.74699999999999,"body":"real me's gonna come out"},{"startTime":189.077,"endTime":191.74699999999999,"body":"and be angry and grumpy and."},{"startTime":192.40699999999998,"endTime":193.307,"body":"And so on."},{"startTime":193.367,"endTime":195.257,"body":"But no, it hasn't"},{"startTime":193.367,"endTime":195.257,"body":"happened yet."},{"startTime":195.557,"endTime":198.017,"body":"And it's been, how long"},{"startTime":195.557,"endTime":198.017,"body":"have I known you Fiona?"},{"startTime":198.017,"endTime":200.59699999999998,"body":"Nearly 20, it'll be 20"},{"startTime":198.017,"endTime":200.59699999999998,"body":"years cuz it's 2023."},{"startTime":200.59699999999998,"endTime":203.477,"body":"It was 2000 and 2003 I 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you might turn into"},{"startTime":217.357,"endTime":220.029,"body":"grumpy old man, but one of the"},{"startTime":220.029,"endTime":222.129,"body":"ones who has fun being grumpy."},{"startTime":222.82899999999998,"endTime":223.189,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":223.22899999999998,"endTime":224.309,"body":"That makes a lot of sense."},{"startTime":224.659,"endTime":225.17,"body":"I can see that."},{"startTime":225.87,"endTime":227.73,"body":"Lauren, do you have"},{"startTime":225.87,"endTime":227.73,"body":"your grumpy moments?"},{"startTime":227.987,"endTime":229.547,"body":"Can you be grumpy"},{"startTime":227.987,"endTime":229.547,"body":"as well as bouncy?"},{"startTime":229.942,"endTime":231.172,"body":"Yeah, most definitely."},{"startTime":231.172,"endTime":234.232,"body":"I'm sure my family would say"},{"startTime":231.172,"endTime":234.232,"body":"that at times, but do have my"},{"startTime":234.232,"endTime":238.082,"body":"moments, but yeah, I, I 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good"},{"startTime":255.077,"endTime":259.472,"body":"for them, they say, in the"},{"startTime":259.472,"endTime":262.769,"body":"messages to us, to hear"},{"startTime":259.472,"endTime":262.769,"body":"the vulnerable side of"},{"startTime":262.769,"endTime":264.149,"body":"being a therapist as well."},{"startTime":264.329,"endTime":266.189,"body":"And to hear all the ins"},{"startTime":264.329,"endTime":266.189,"body":"and outs of what it's"},{"startTime":266.189,"endTime":268.04900000000004,"body":"gonna be like when they"},{"startTime":266.189,"endTime":268.04900000000004,"body":"fully qualify and the"},{"startTime":268.05400000000003,"endTime":269.969,"body":"different types of clients"},{"startTime":268.05400000000003,"endTime":269.969,"body":"that they're going to get."},{"startTime":270.17900000000003,"endTime":271.79900000000004,"body":"And it's been really nice"},{"startTime":270.17900000000003,"endTime":271.79900000000004,"body":"to hear from everybody."},{"startTime":271.79900000000004,"endTime":275.529,"body":"So listeners out there new"},{"startTime":271.79900000000004,"endTime":275.529,"body":"ones, old ones, therapists,"},{"startTime":275.529,"endTime":277.839,"body":"clients, and everybody in"},{"startTime":275.529,"endTime":277.839,"body":"between, feel free to let"},{"startTime":277.839,"endTime":279.789,"body":"us know your thoughts and"},{"startTime":277.839,"endTime":279.789,"body":"if you've got any topic"},{"startTime":279.789,"endTime":281.889,"body":"ideas, do let us know."},{"startTime":282.399,"endTime":285.106,"body":"Cuz it's a surprise the"},{"startTime":282.399,"endTime":285.106,"body":"different things that"},{"startTime":285.286,"endTime":286.986,"body":"get brought into the"},{"startTime":285.286,"endTime":286.986,"body":"therapy room, isn't it?"},{"startTime":286.986,"endTime":291.07599999999996,"body":"People don't just come in"},{"startTime":286.986,"endTime":291.07599999999996,"body":"and say, this is my issue."},{"startTime":291.07599999999996,"endTime":294.116,"body":"I have a fear of heights or"},{"startTime":291.07599999999996,"endTime":294.116,"body":"I have a fear of needles and"},{"startTime":294.12,"endTime":295.079,"body":"I need some help with it."},{"startTime":295.703,"endTime":297.505,"body":"Or they have depression"},{"startTime":295.703,"endTime":297.505,"body":"and they know I'm, my"},{"startTime":297.505,"endTime":298.825,"body":"mood is dreadfully low."},{"startTime":299.455,"endTime":302.155,"body":"There's those, and then"},{"startTime":299.455,"endTime":302.155,"body":"sometimes there's the"},{"startTime":302.935,"endTime":304.465,"body":"very, very random things."},{"startTime":305.185,"endTime":306.895,"body":"Somebody's got a fear"},{"startTime":305.185,"endTime":306.895,"body":"of buttons and they"},{"startTime":306.895,"endTime":307.705,"body":"want to talk about it."},{"startTime":307.97499999999997,"endTime":310.495,"body":"Somebody's got a sexual"},{"startTime":307.97499999999997,"endTime":310.495,"body":"fetish and they're wanting to"},{"startTime":310.495,"endTime":312.865,"body":"talk about it cause there's"},{"startTime":310.495,"endTime":312.865,"body":"nobody that they feel safe"},{"startTime":312.865,"endTime":314.065,"body":"enough to explore it with."},{"startTime":314.485,"endTime":316.915,"body":"There's so many different"},{"startTime":314.485,"endTime":316.915,"body":"things and people are gonna"},{"startTime":316.915,"endTime":321.092,"body":"come to us with varying"},{"startTime":316.915,"endTime":321.092,"body":"conditions and problems"},{"startTime":321.092,"endTime":325.158,"body":"and frustrations, and"},{"startTime":321.092,"endTime":325.158,"body":"one of them, as you've"},{"startTime":325.158,"endTime":327.858,"body":"discovered over the years,"},{"startTime":325.158,"endTime":327.858,"body":"is people are struggling"},{"startTime":327.981,"endTime":328.911,"body":"with their fertility."},{"startTime":328.911,"endTime":331.641,"body":"And that isn't something"},{"startTime":328.911,"endTime":331.641,"body":"that when somebody thinks,"},{"startTime":331.76099999999997,"endTime":334.215,"body":"oh, I'm struggling with,"},{"startTime":331.76099999999997,"endTime":334.215,"body":"I was gonna say starting"},{"startTime":334.335,"endTime":337.335,"body":"a family, but that feels"},{"startTime":334.335,"endTime":337.335,"body":"disrespectful to pets and also"},{"startTime":337.335,"endTime":340.215,"body":"disrespectful for somebody"},{"startTime":337.335,"endTime":340.215,"body":"that is in a family already."},{"startTime":340.21999999999997,"endTime":342.135,"body":"You don't have to have"},{"startTime":340.21999999999997,"endTime":342.135,"body":"children to have a family."},{"startTime":342.48,"endTime":343.71,"body":"Let's put that out there."},{"startTime":344.371,"endTime":347.524,"body":"But most people wouldn't"},{"startTime":344.371,"endTime":347.524,"body":"think, oh, I've got some"},{"startTime":347.524,"endTime":350.24399999999997,"body":"fertility issues and there's"},{"startTime":347.524,"endTime":350.24399999999997,"body":"things that are going on."},{"startTime":350.784,"endTime":352.49399999999997,"body":"I think I'll find"},{"startTime":350.784,"endTime":352.49399999999997,"body":"myself a counselor or"},{"startTime":352.49399999999997,"endTime":354.804,"body":"a psychotherapist or a"},{"startTime":352.49399999999997,"endTime":354.804,"body":"hypnotherapist to talk to."},{"startTime":355.044,"endTime":358.824,"body":"That isn't the first place"},{"startTime":355.044,"endTime":358.824,"body":"people go, but should it?"},{"startTime":359.245,"endTime":360.805,"body":"it's an interesting"},{"startTime":359.245,"endTime":360.805,"body":"one, isn't it?"},{"startTime":360.805,"endTime":364.265,"body":"Because very often, I suppose"},{"startTime":360.805,"endTime":364.265,"body":"the first thing people think"},{"startTime":364.265,"endTime":367.53499999999997,"body":"of, if they are starting"},{"startTime":364.265,"endTime":367.53499999999997,"body":"to realise that it's taking"},{"startTime":367.53499999999997,"endTime":370.78499999999997,"body":"a bit longer than they had"},{"startTime":367.53499999999997,"endTime":370.78499999999997,"body":"expected or had hoped they"},{"startTime":370.78499999999997,"endTime":372.585,"body":"sort of very much think"},{"startTime":370.78499999999997,"endTime":372.585,"body":"of the physical first."},{"startTime":372.59,"endTime":375.005,"body":"So, you know, may start to"},{"startTime":372.59,"endTime":375.005,"body":"clean up their diet, take"},{"startTime":375.155,"endTime":377.045,"body":"supplements um, look at their."},{"startTime":377.335,"endTime":379.045,"body":"Exercise regime, et cetera."},{"startTime":379.515,"endTime":382.295,"body":"But I think people do start"},{"startTime":379.515,"endTime":382.295,"body":"to notice when it takes a"},{"startTime":382.295,"endTime":384.905,"body":"while that it is becoming"},{"startTime":382.295,"endTime":384.905,"body":"a bit of a strain and, and"},{"startTime":384.905,"endTime":387.215,"body":"they're starting to feel a"},{"startTime":384.905,"endTime":387.215,"body":"bit more stressed, perhaps"},{"startTime":387.215,"endTime":388.745,"body":"anxiety's creeping up."},{"startTime":388.795,"endTime":390.985,"body":"And for some people"},{"startTime":388.795,"endTime":390.985,"body":"they can also start to"},{"startTime":390.985,"endTime":393.055,"body":"feel quite depressed as"},{"startTime":390.985,"endTime":393.055,"body":"time goes on as well."},{"startTime":393.06,"endTime":395.875,"body":"So quite often it's those"},{"startTime":393.06,"endTime":395.875,"body":"elements that might lead"},{"startTime":395.875,"endTime":398.965,"body":"them to start thinking"},{"startTime":395.875,"endTime":398.965,"body":"about, you know, perhaps it"},{"startTime":398.965,"endTime":401.515,"body":"would be helpful if I could"},{"startTime":398.965,"endTime":401.515,"body":"talk to someone about this."},{"startTime":402.215,"endTime":405.69,"body":"I guess one of the biggest"},{"startTime":402.215,"endTime":405.69,"body":"issues we find, with"},{"startTime":405.69,"endTime":410.404,"body":"fertility, is that it's"},{"startTime":405.69,"endTime":410.404,"body":"not like any other issue"},{"startTime":410.884,"endTime":413.464,"body":"because it is gonna get more"},{"startTime":410.884,"endTime":413.464,"body":"difficult as time goes on."},{"startTime":413.884,"endTime":415.804,"body":"And that is, that isn't,"},{"startTime":413.884,"endTime":415.804,"body":"that is undeniable."},{"startTime":415.80899999999997,"endTime":419.104,"body":"There's only so many"},{"startTime":415.80899999999997,"endTime":419.104,"body":"literal good eggs that"},{"startTime":419.104,"endTime":422.674,"body":"we've got and every month"},{"startTime":419.104,"endTime":422.674,"body":"we are gonna say we."},{"startTime":422.674,"endTime":423.154,"body":"It's not me."},{"startTime":423.154,"endTime":423.87399999999997,"body":"I've got no eggs."},{"startTime":424.574,"endTime":427.304,"body":"A woman who's gonna"},{"startTime":424.574,"endTime":427.304,"body":"lose an egg every month,"},{"startTime":427.454,"endTime":428.864,"body":"there's no denying it."},{"startTime":429.564,"endTime":432.444,"body":"It's no secret that, and"},{"startTime":429.564,"endTime":432.444,"body":"it used to be, there used"},{"startTime":432.449,"endTime":435.504,"body":"to be that cutoff point of"},{"startTime":432.449,"endTime":435.504,"body":"40, I think, wasn't there."},{"startTime":435.654,"endTime":439.43,"body":"The closer somebody got to"},{"startTime":435.654,"endTime":439.43,"body":"40, the more anxious 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to"},{"startTime":456.165,"endTime":458.425,"body":"those messages and that"},{"startTime":458.445,"endTime":461.355,"body":"stress and says, oh, is"},{"startTime":458.445,"endTime":461.355,"body":"there stress in the world?"},{"startTime":461.715,"endTime":463.935,"body":"Oh, we don't wanna be trying"},{"startTime":461.715,"endTime":463.935,"body":"to reproduce right now."},{"startTime":463.935,"endTime":465.675,"body":"We don't wanna be"},{"startTime":463.935,"endTime":465.675,"body":"making babies right now."},{"startTime":465.675,"endTime":467.895,"body":"There's clearly lions and"},{"startTime":465.675,"endTime":467.895,"body":"tigers out to get you."},{"startTime":467.895,"endTime":470.656,"body":"So how about we just"},{"startTime":467.895,"endTime":470.656,"body":"hang fire for a bit?"},{"startTime":470.661,"endTime":473.025,"body":"And you don't wanna hang"},{"startTime":470.661,"endTime":473.025,"body":"fire for a bit, you wanna"},{"startTime":473.025,"endTime":475.935,"body":"get on with it, but your body"},{"startTime":473.025,"endTime":475.935,"body":"won't let you and then you're"},{"startTime":475.935,"endTime":477.945,"body":"anxious about being anxious"},{"startTime":475.935,"endTime":477.945,"body":"and then you're anxious"},{"startTime":477.945,"endTime":479.515,"body":"about not being pregnant."},{"startTime":480.28499999999997,"endTime":481.925,"body":"And that stops you"},{"startTime":480.28499999999997,"endTime":481.925,"body":"being pregnant because"},{"startTime":481.925,"endTime":483.425,"body":"you're anxious and then"},{"startTime":481.925,"endTime":483.425,"body":"you blame yourself."},{"startTime":483.425,"endTime":485.015,"body":"And what a cycle."},{"startTime":485.015,"endTime":486.72499999999997,"body":"I mean, me just going"},{"startTime":485.015,"endTime":486.72499999999997,"body":"through it now is"},{"startTime":486.72499999999997,"endTime":487.565,"body":"giving me a headache."},{"startTime":487.78499999999997,"endTime":488.075,"body":"What?"},{"startTime":488.855,"endTime":490.355,"body":"How do we get"},{"startTime":488.855,"endTime":490.355,"body":"outta that spiral?"},{"startTime":490.79,"endTime":493.224,"body":"Yeah, I mean that you, you"},{"startTime":490.79,"endTime":493.224,"body":"raised a really, really"},{"startTime":493.224,"endTime":494.274,"body":"good point there, Richard."},{"startTime":494.274,"endTime":495.564,"body":"It is incredibly stressful."},{"startTime":495.824,"endTime":497.654,"body":"And there are many"},{"startTime":495.824,"endTime":497.654,"body":"sort of messages in the"},{"startTime":497.654,"endTime":498.944,"body":"media about this cutoff."},{"startTime":498.944,"endTime":501.734,"body":"So you mentioned 40, and"},{"startTime":498.944,"endTime":501.734,"body":"that's certainly a milestone"},{"startTime":501.734,"endTime":504.001,"body":"in a lot of people's minds"},{"startTime":501.734,"endTime":504.001,"body":"that you know, the idea is"},{"startTime":504.006,"endTime":507.282,"body":"that pre 40  you can probably"},{"startTime":504.006,"endTime":507.282,"body":"get pregnant, but afterwards"},{"startTime":507.304,"endTime":508.74399999999997,"body":"it's all gonna be different."},{"startTime":508.74399999999997,"endTime":511.714,"body":"And of course the reality"},{"startTime":508.74399999999997,"endTime":511.714,"body":"is that one particular day"},{"startTime":511.714,"endTime":512.734,"body":"doesn't make a difference."},{"startTime":512.734,"endTime":515.224,"body":"But fertility does"},{"startTime":512.734,"endTime":515.224,"body":"decline over time."},{"startTime":515.274,"endTime":518.124,"body":"And the other cliff edge"},{"startTime":515.274,"endTime":518.124,"body":"age, I suppose, that people"},{"startTime":518.124,"endTime":519.624,"body":"have heard about is 35."},{"startTime":520.044,"endTime":522.284,"body":"And there was a lot of"},{"startTime":520.044,"endTime":522.284,"body":"hoo-ha in the media a few"},{"startTime":522.284,"endTime":525.3140000000001,"body":"years back, about 35 being"},{"startTime":522.284,"endTime":525.3140000000001,"body":"the age at which women's"},{"startTime":525.3190000000001,"endTime":528.434,"body":"fertility falls off a"},{"startTime":525.3190000000001,"endTime":528.434,"body":"cliff, was the phrase used."},{"startTime":528.434,"endTime":530.264,"body":"So you can imagine"},{"startTime":528.434,"endTime":530.264,"body":"the feelings that that"},{"startTime":530.264,"endTime":531.464,"body":"engenders in people."},{"startTime":531.464,"endTime":533.754,"body":"And, and you're quite"},{"startTime":531.464,"endTime":533.754,"body":"right that, then creates"},{"startTime":533.754,"endTime":534.9540000000001,"body":"the stress of its own."},{"startTime":534.9590000000001,"endTime":537.423,"body":"And women often have a sense"},{"startTime":534.9590000000001,"endTime":537.423,"body":"that becoming pregnant is"},{"startTime":537.423,"endTime":538.653,"body":"gonna happen quite quickly."},{"startTime":538.653,"endTime":542.3530000000001,"body":"So, when reality is that"},{"startTime":538.653,"endTime":542.3530000000001,"body":"for perfectly healthy,"},{"startTime":542.3530000000001,"endTime":545.613,"body":"fertile women, it can take"},{"startTime":542.3530000000001,"endTime":545.613,"body":"some months even in your"},{"startTime":545.613,"endTime":547.413,"body":"twenties to become pregnant."},{"startTime":547.418,"endTime":549.7840000000001,"body":"But if it doesn't happen"},{"startTime":547.418,"endTime":549.7840000000001,"body":"after a few months, the,"},{"startTime":549.8430000000001,"endTime":552.628,"body":"the stress certainly starts"},{"startTime":549.8430000000001,"endTime":552.628,"body":"to rise becomes anxious."},{"startTime":552.628,"endTime":554.753,"body":"Then there's the"},{"startTime":552.628,"endTime":554.753,"body":"issues around age."},{"startTime":554.753,"endTime":557.9860000000001,"body":"And as time goes on, it can"},{"startTime":554.753,"endTime":557.9860000000001,"body":"become a bit of a vicious"},{"startTime":557.9860000000001,"endTime":560.5360000000001,"body":"circle as you mentioned,"},{"startTime":557.9860000000001,"endTime":560.5360000000001,"body":"that the more stress you are,"},{"startTime":560.926,"endTime":564.0160000000001,"body":"the less likely perhaps you,"},{"startTime":560.926,"endTime":564.0160000000001,"body":"you are to conceive, which"},{"startTime":564.0210000000001,"endTime":565.1260000000001,"body":"then creates more stress."},{"startTime":565.1260000000001,"endTime":566.596,"body":"And so it goes"},{"startTime":565.1260000000001,"endTime":566.596,"body":"on and on and on."},{"startTime":566.926,"endTime":569.456,"body":"And then if you need to have"},{"startTime":566.926,"endTime":569.456,"body":"fertility investigations"},{"startTime":569.836,"endTime":572.576,"body":"or even treatment that"},{"startTime":569.836,"endTime":572.576,"body":"brings a whole load of other"},{"startTime":572.9090000000001,"endTime":574.229,"body":"stressful moments as well."},{"startTime":574.2890000000001,"endTime":578.355,"body":"So, It's often the case  that"},{"startTime":574.2890000000001,"endTime":578.355,"body":"to actually handle that."},{"startTime":578.4250000000001,"endTime":580.735,"body":"You do need some"},{"startTime":578.4250000000001,"endTime":580.735,"body":"specific strategies."},{"startTime":580.9430000000001,"endTime":583.913,"body":"Even putting some time in"},{"startTime":580.9430000000001,"endTime":583.913,"body":"your day just to relax,"},{"startTime":583.913,"endTime":586.923,"body":"purposefully relax and"},{"startTime":583.913,"endTime":586.923,"body":"switch off from worrying."},{"startTime":586.923,"endTime":588.87,"body":"whether  I guess the three"},{"startTime":586.923,"endTime":588.87,"body":"of us would naturally"},{"startTime":588.87,"endTime":591.09,"body":"turn to hypnosis for that,"},{"startTime":588.87,"endTime":591.09,"body":"as, you know, a really"},{"startTime":591.09,"endTime":592.8000000000001,"body":"excellent way of relaxing."},{"startTime":593.12,"endTime":596.0600000000001,"body":"Some people find mindfulness"},{"startTime":593.12,"endTime":596.0600000000001,"body":"can be very helpful for that"},{"startTime":596.0600000000001,"endTime":599.5300000000001,"body":"as well, but just having"},{"startTime":596.0600000000001,"endTime":599.5300000000001,"body":"I suppose a dedicated time"},{"startTime":599.5300000000001,"endTime":601.7560000000001,"body":"in your day is often a"},{"startTime":599.5300000000001,"endTime":601.7560000000001,"body":"really good first step to"},{"startTime":601.7560000000001,"endTime":605.296,"body":"take, to start to actually"},{"startTime":601.7560000000001,"endTime":605.296,"body":"switch off from fight or"},{"startTime":605.296,"endTime":607.96,"body":"flight,   go into rest and"},{"startTime":605.296,"endTime":607.96,"body":"digest mode or feed and"},{"startTime":607.96,"endTime":610.73,"body":"breed mode as it sometimes"},{"startTime":607.96,"endTime":610.73,"body":"called for quite good reason,"},{"startTime":611.7700000000001,"endTime":616.303,"body":"You mentioned using hypnosis,"},{"startTime":611.7700000000001,"endTime":616.303,"body":"learning about meditation,"},{"startTime":616.556,"endTime":618.326,"body":"finding ways to de-stress."},{"startTime":619.226,"endTime":621.8960000000001,"body":"I think it's worth everybody"},{"startTime":619.226,"endTime":621.8960000000001,"body":"knowing what works for"},{"startTime":621.9010000000001,"endTime":626.455,"body":"them, what helps them to"},{"startTime":621.9010000000001,"endTime":626.455,"body":"relax, because if there"},{"startTime":626.6210000000001,"endTime":629.171,"body":"there is a rule, it's"},{"startTime":626.6210000000001,"endTime":629.171,"body":"that there are no rules."},{"startTime":629.471,"endTime":631.571,"body":"You've gotta work"},{"startTime":629.471,"endTime":631.571,"body":"out what relaxes you."},{"startTime":632.4110000000001,"endTime":635.606,"body":"For somebody guided"},{"startTime":632.4110000000001,"endTime":635.606,"body":"visualization, somebody"},{"startTime":635.606,"endTime":638.936,"body":"talking slowly and quietly"},{"startTime":635.606,"endTime":638.936,"body":"guiding them along, that"},{"startTime":638.936,"endTime":640.046,"body":"might really annoy them."},{"startTime":640.5260000000001,"endTime":643.5260000000001,"body":"And I've had, I've had"},{"startTime":640.5260000000001,"endTime":643.5260000000001,"body":"clients that say that about"},{"startTime":643.586,"endTime":646.196,"body":"me, that they don't see"},{"startTime":643.586,"endTime":646.196,"body":"me as a hypnotherapist."},{"startTime":646.196,"endTime":648.5360000000001,"body":"They see me as a"},{"startTime":646.196,"endTime":648.5360000000001,"body":"psychotherapist and I point"},{"startTime":648.5360000000001,"endTime":651.1160000000001,"body":"them towards my website and"},{"startTime":648.5360000000001,"endTime":651.1160000000001,"body":"say, Hey, go listen to some"},{"startTime":651.1160000000001,"endTime":652.047,"body":"of these relaxation things."},{"startTime":652.052,"endTime":654.596,"body":"It'll probably help you"},{"startTime":652.052,"endTime":654.596,"body":"with some of the stress"},{"startTime":654.596,"endTime":655.5260000000001,"body":"that's been going on."},{"startTime":655.586,"endTime":658.436,"body":"Train your brain how to focus"},{"startTime":655.586,"endTime":658.436,"body":"and relax, be quite good."},{"startTime":658.8860000000001,"endTime":661.6110000000001,"body":"And the next session they'll"},{"startTime":658.8860000000001,"endTime":661.6110000000001,"body":"say thanks, but no thanks."},{"startTime":661.6110000000001,"endTime":664.4910000000001,"body":"I tried that hypno thing"},{"startTime":661.6110000000001,"endTime":664.4910000000001,"body":"really wasn't for me"},{"startTime":665.091,"endTime":666.561,"body":"and I think, oh, no."},{"startTime":666.7410000000001,"endTime":667.581,"body":"Try again."},{"startTime":667.671,"endTime":670.731,"body":"Embrace it and yeah, do,"},{"startTime":667.671,"endTime":670.731,"body":"don't just rule something"},{"startTime":670.731,"endTime":672.831,"body":"out the first time you do"},{"startTime":670.731,"endTime":672.831,"body":"it because there are so many"},{"startTime":672.831,"endTime":675.1310000000001,"body":"different ways of relaxing."},{"startTime":675.831,"endTime":676.6410000000001,"body":"But that's the thing."},{"startTime":676.6410000000001,"endTime":679.221,"body":"You gotta work out what's,"},{"startTime":676.6410000000001,"endTime":679.221,"body":"what's relaxing to you."},{"startTime":679.9110000000001,"endTime":683.5110000000001,"body":"It might be that my, my hypno"},{"startTime":679.9110000000001,"endTime":683.5110000000001,"body":"voice wasn't relaxing enough."},{"startTime":683.5110000000001,"endTime":685.0110000000001,"body":"It was too weird and cheesy."},{"startTime":685.101,"endTime":686.9910000000001,"body":"And for others they'll"},{"startTime":685.101,"endTime":686.9910000000001,"body":"just go on to YouTube and"},{"startTime":686.9910000000001,"endTime":688.071,"body":"listen to somebody on there."},{"startTime":688.071,"endTime":690.291,"body":"And I, it's somebody"},{"startTime":688.071,"endTime":690.291,"body":"with a very strong accent"},{"startTime":690.291,"endTime":692.846,"body":"that irritates them,"},{"startTime":690.291,"endTime":692.846,"body":"that reminds them of a"},{"startTime":692.846,"endTime":694.106,"body":"friend that they dislike."},{"startTime":694.4830000000001,"endTime":696.163,"body":"Work out what works for you."},{"startTime":697.076,"endTime":699.686,"body":"I think you've made a really"},{"startTime":697.076,"endTime":699.686,"body":"important point there about"},{"startTime":699.7460000000001,"endTime":702.8760000000001,"body":"the fact that the hypno"},{"startTime":699.7460000000001,"endTime":702.8760000000001,"body":"voice that, so this is"},{"startTime":702.8760000000001,"endTime":705.576,"body":"particularly for any trainees"},{"startTime":702.8760000000001,"endTime":705.576,"body":"or hypnotherapist out there."},{"startTime":706.086,"endTime":708.916,"body":"It, it doesn't have to"},{"startTime":706.086,"endTime":708.916,"body":"be something different."},{"startTime":709.0060000000001,"endTime":711.5260000000001,"body":"It can be normal, but"},{"startTime":709.0060000000001,"endTime":711.5260000000001,"body":"I'm reminded of somebody"},{"startTime":711.5260000000001,"endTime":714.916,"body":"in the States who talks"},{"startTime":711.5260000000001,"endTime":714.916,"body":"really, really fast"},{"startTime":714.916,"endTime":716.476,"body":"when doing hypnosis."},{"startTime":716.716,"endTime":721.1360000000001,"body":"Now, for me, that, no"},{"startTime":716.716,"endTime":721.1360000000001,"body":"his name's escaped me"},{"startTime":721.196,"endTime":721.7760000000001,"body":"just for this moment."},{"startTime":722.436,"endTime":722.856,"body":"Oh, okay."},{"startTime":723.1560000000001,"endTime":727.682,"body":"but that would annoy me"},{"startTime":723.1560000000001,"endTime":727.682,"body":"because that would wind me up"},{"startTime":727.682,"endTime":730.142,"body":"a bit as in speeding me up."},{"startTime":730.7220000000001,"endTime":733.7520000000001,"body":"But gets, Don Mottin"},{"startTime":730.7220000000001,"endTime":733.7520000000001,"body":"that's it came back to me."},{"startTime":734.067,"endTime":736.527,"body":"Oh wow, Don Mottin"},{"startTime":734.067,"endTime":736.527,"body":"long time, no speak."},{"startTime":736.7220000000001,"endTime":737.2620000000001,"body":"Yes."},{"startTime":737.3620000000001,"endTime":738.5020000000001,"body":"But some people love that."},{"startTime":738.5070000000001,"endTime":740.8520000000001,"body":"And yes, accents and"},{"startTime":738.5070000000001,"endTime":740.8520000000001,"body":"things like that do"},{"startTime":740.8520000000001,"endTime":742.7940000000001,"body":"make a difference, but"},{"startTime":740.8520000000001,"endTime":742.7940000000001,"body":"it's not just about"},{"startTime":743.0540000000001,"endTime":744.474,"body":"relaxation is it, Lauren?"},{"startTime":744.489,"endTime":747.729,"body":"There's other things that"},{"startTime":744.489,"endTime":747.729,"body":"can be done using hypnosis to"},{"startTime":747.729,"endTime":749.769,"body":"help fertility potentially."},{"startTime":750.056,"endTime":751.046,"body":"that's right, Fiona."},{"startTime":751.046,"endTime":753.2360000000001,"body":"So, obviously we can"},{"startTime":751.046,"endTime":753.2360000000001,"body":"use hypnosis in lots and"},{"startTime":753.2360000000001,"endTime":754.3760000000001,"body":"lots of different ways."},{"startTime":754.436,"endTime":757.426,"body":"if we are working with you"},{"startTime":754.436,"endTime":757.426,"body":"know, thought processes people"},{"startTime":757.431,"endTime":759.706,"body":"can have quite recurring"},{"startTime":757.431,"endTime":759.706,"body":"intrusive thoughts that are"},{"startTime":759.706,"endTime":762.484,"body":"quite distressing about,"},{"startTime":759.706,"endTime":762.484,"body":"I'll never conceive, this"},{"startTime":762.484,"endTime":763.6840000000001,"body":"is never gonna work for me."},{"startTime":763.6840000000001,"endTime":765.0640000000001,"body":"I'll never become a mother."},{"startTime":765.6740000000001,"endTime":768.8280000000001,"body":"I'm, defective and, and it"},{"startTime":765.6740000000001,"endTime":768.8280000000001,"body":"can range, you know, so we can"},{"startTime":768.8280000000001,"endTime":771.4340000000001,"body":"work with that in hypnosis."},{"startTime":771.586,"endTime":774.745,"body":"We can also do some I guess"},{"startTime":771.586,"endTime":774.745,"body":"slightly deeper work around"},{"startTime":774.8050000000001,"endTime":778.205,"body":"to see if there are any"},{"startTime":774.8050000000001,"endTime":778.205,"body":"conflicts as to sometimes"},{"startTime":778.235,"endTime":781.4820000000001,"body":"with women particularly"},{"startTime":778.235,"endTime":781.4820000000001,"body":"who have a diagnosis of"},{"startTime":781.4820000000001,"endTime":785.682,"body":"unexplained infertility, where"},{"startTime":781.4820000000001,"endTime":785.682,"body":"the medical investigations"},{"startTime":785.682,"endTime":788.452,"body":"have revealed  no known"},{"startTime":785.682,"endTime":788.452,"body":"physical causes for their"},{"startTime":788.8820000000001,"endTime":790.442,"body":"problems with conceiving."},{"startTime":790.628,"endTime":792.9680000000001,"body":"We can do some work in"},{"startTime":790.628,"endTime":792.9680000000001,"body":"hypnosis to see if there"},{"startTime":792.9680000000001,"endTime":795.428,"body":"are any unconscious"},{"startTime":792.9680000000001,"endTime":795.428,"body":"factors at play that may"},{"startTime":795.428,"endTime":797.245,"body":"be hampering conception."},{"startTime":797.7950000000001,"endTime":801.1170000000001,"body":"Sometimes there are some"},{"startTime":797.7950000000001,"endTime":801.1170000000001,"body":"deep rooted fears that"},{"startTime":801.2270000000001,"endTime":804.817,"body":"perhaps clients are not"},{"startTime":801.2270000000001,"endTime":804.817,"body":"always completely aware"},{"startTime":804.817,"endTime":808.5970000000001,"body":"of that can in some ways"},{"startTime":804.817,"endTime":808.5970000000001,"body":"form a block to pregnancy."},{"startTime":808.5970000000001,"endTime":811.6070000000001,"body":"So, thinking back to some"},{"startTime":808.5970000000001,"endTime":811.6070000000001,"body":"of the work I've done with"},{"startTime":811.6070000000001,"endTime":815.0970000000001,"body":"clients it can be things"},{"startTime":811.6070000000001,"endTime":815.0970000000001,"body":"around fear of childbirth"},{"startTime":815.6370000000001,"endTime":817.947,"body":"or fear of having twins"},{"startTime":815.6370000000001,"endTime":817.947,"body":"where there's a lot of"},{"startTime":817.947,"endTime":818.697,"body":"twins in the family."},{"startTime":818.797,"endTime":821.3770000000001,"body":"And then and somebody's"},{"startTime":818.797,"endTime":821.3770000000001,"body":"parents have found that"},{"startTime":821.3770000000001,"endTime":823.6270000000001,"body":"difficult to cope with and"},{"startTime":821.3770000000001,"endTime":823.6270000000001,"body":"they've kind of received a"},{"startTime":823.6270000000001,"endTime":826.267,"body":"message that it would be a"},{"startTime":823.6270000000001,"endTime":826.267,"body":"disaster if they had twins."},{"startTime":826.267,"endTime":827.647,"body":"And that's quite"},{"startTime":826.267,"endTime":827.647,"body":"likely for them."},{"startTime":828.3770000000001,"endTime":831.3180000000001,"body":"Could be issues around body"},{"startTime":828.3770000000001,"endTime":831.3180000000001,"body":"image and, the way the, body"},{"startTime":831.3180000000001,"endTime":834.1080000000001,"body":"changes during pregnancy,"},{"startTime":831.3180000000001,"endTime":834.1080000000001,"body":"which can be quite a challenge"},{"startTime":834.1080000000001,"endTime":837.6990000000001,"body":"for some women who struggle"},{"startTime":834.1080000000001,"endTime":837.6990000000001,"body":"with body image and can"},{"startTime":837.7040000000001,"endTime":840.1590000000001,"body":"be all sorts of factors"},{"startTime":837.7040000000001,"endTime":840.1590000000001,"body":"at play that are perhaps"},{"startTime":840.1640000000001,"endTime":843.649,"body":"not consciously known or"},{"startTime":840.1640000000001,"endTime":843.649,"body":"acknowledged but that we can"},{"startTime":843.649,"endTime":847.979,"body":"address in hypnosis and,  come"},{"startTime":843.649,"endTime":847.979,"body":"to a kind of accommodation"},{"startTime":847.979,"endTime":850.769,"body":"where all parts of the"},{"startTime":847.979,"endTime":850.769,"body":"client are in alignment."},{"startTime":850.9920000000001,"endTime":852.647,"body":"And move things forward there."},{"startTime":852.8570000000001,"endTime":856.255,"body":"We can also use it  with kind"},{"startTime":852.8570000000001,"endTime":856.255,"body":"of, visualization techniques"},{"startTime":856.259,"endTime":860.0210000000001,"body":"to enhance the body's response"},{"startTime":856.259,"endTime":860.0210000000001,"body":"to things like medication"},{"startTime":860.0210000000001,"endTime":863.3950000000001,"body":"or treatment or indeed, if"},{"startTime":860.0210000000001,"endTime":863.3950000000001,"body":"we rehearse a conception"},{"startTime":863.4200000000001,"endTime":866.856,"body":"and pregnancy going well in"},{"startTime":863.4200000000001,"endTime":866.856,"body":"hypnosis, that's  probably"},{"startTime":866.8760000000001,"endTime":869.676,"body":"going to be a lot better"},{"startTime":866.8760000000001,"endTime":869.676,"body":"for the client than to be"},{"startTime":869.676,"endTime":872.306,"body":"continually rehearsing in"},{"startTime":869.676,"endTime":872.306,"body":"their imagination that they're"},{"startTime":872.306,"endTime":873.566,"body":"not gonna get pregnant."},{"startTime":873.596,"endTime":876.0260000000001,"body":"That, that it's gonna, you"},{"startTime":873.596,"endTime":876.0260000000001,"body":"know, fail again this month."},{"startTime":876.0260000000001,"endTime":877.316,"body":"That treatment will fail."},{"startTime":877.71,"endTime":880.2030000000001,"body":"I think probably one of the"},{"startTime":877.71,"endTime":880.2030000000001,"body":"first things we learn you"},{"startTime":880.2030000000001,"endTime":883.8380000000001,"body":"know, as, as hypnotherapist"},{"startTime":880.2030000000001,"endTime":883.8380000000001,"body":"is  how the uh, body reacts"},{"startTime":883.8380000000001,"endTime":885.581,"body":"to what the mind imagines."},{"startTime":885.731,"endTime":887.803,"body":"If you think about the"},{"startTime":885.731,"endTime":887.803,"body":"experiment with the lemon,"},{"startTime":887.803,"endTime":890.4730000000001,"body":"and you know how if you"},{"startTime":887.803,"endTime":890.4730000000001,"body":"sniff a lemon and imagine"},{"startTime":890.4730000000001,"endTime":893.173,"body":"cutting it and tasting it,"},{"startTime":890.4730000000001,"endTime":893.173,"body":"how you know if you are"},{"startTime":893.173,"endTime":895.753,"body":"really focusing on that,"},{"startTime":893.173,"endTime":895.753,"body":"your mouth's gonna water."},{"startTime":895.753,"endTime":898.311,"body":"In fact, you have a"},{"startTime":895.753,"endTime":898.311,"body":"physiological response"},{"startTime":898.4910000000001,"endTime":900.321,"body":"to something that's"},{"startTime":898.4910000000001,"endTime":900.321,"body":"purely in the mind."},{"startTime":900.6510000000001,"endTime":903.561,"body":"So, you know, how does that"},{"startTime":900.6510000000001,"endTime":903.561,"body":"play out if month on month"},{"startTime":903.566,"endTime":906.591,"body":"you are continually expecting"},{"startTime":903.566,"endTime":906.591,"body":"to get your period instead"},{"startTime":906.591,"endTime":909.995,"body":"of seeing the two lines on"},{"startTime":906.591,"endTime":909.995,"body":"the pregnancy test, and how"},{"startTime":909.995,"endTime":913.235,"body":"much different can it be if"},{"startTime":909.995,"endTime":913.235,"body":"instead you are visualizing"},{"startTime":913.648,"endTime":914.998,"body":"things working well for you."},{"startTime":915.993,"endTime":919.023,"body":"And also there's the, the"},{"startTime":915.993,"endTime":919.023,"body":"genuine fears of simply"},{"startTime":919.023,"endTime":921.993,"body":"being a parent, whether it's"},{"startTime":919.023,"endTime":921.993,"body":"the fears of being a bad"},{"startTime":921.993,"endTime":925.783,"body":"parent or just the fears of"},{"startTime":921.993,"endTime":925.783,"body":"being a struggling parent."},{"startTime":926.5830000000001,"endTime":929.575,"body":"To listen to that story"},{"startTime":926.5830000000001,"endTime":929.575,"body":"that somebody might have"},{"startTime":929.575,"endTime":930.505,"body":"been telling themselves."},{"startTime":930.505,"endTime":932.365,"body":"If somebody created an"},{"startTime":930.505,"endTime":932.365,"body":"expectation when they were"},{"startTime":932.365,"endTime":937.825,"body":"very young, that parenting"},{"startTime":932.365,"endTime":937.825,"body":"is hard and parents are"},{"startTime":938.365,"endTime":941.83,"body":"damaging in some way,"},{"startTime":938.365,"endTime":941.83,"body":"because they might have"},{"startTime":941.83,"endTime":944.74,"body":"had that experience,"},{"startTime":941.83,"endTime":944.74,"body":"that needs exploring."},{"startTime":944.7700000000001,"endTime":950.3430000000001,"body":"We need our unconscious that"},{"startTime":944.7700000000001,"endTime":950.3430000000001,"body":"drives all those instincts"},{"startTime":950.3430000000001,"endTime":952.594,"body":"and autonomic  processes."},{"startTime":952.594,"endTime":955.384,"body":"We need that part of us"},{"startTime":952.594,"endTime":955.384,"body":"to be in the present."},{"startTime":955.9240000000001,"endTime":959.464,"body":"Not in the past when it"},{"startTime":955.9240000000001,"endTime":959.464,"body":"made the decision that Man"},{"startTime":959.464,"endTime":961.0540000000001,"body":"hands on misery to man."},{"startTime":961.0540000000001,"endTime":963.274,"body":"It deepens like"},{"startTime":961.0540000000001,"endTime":963.274,"body":"a coastal shelf."},{"startTime":964.384,"endTime":968.1640000000001,"body":"Get out early while you can"},{"startTime":964.384,"endTime":968.1640000000001,"body":"and don't have kids yourself."},{"startTime":968.2840000000001,"endTime":970.894,"body":"Don't have kids yourself"},{"startTime":968.2840000000001,"endTime":970.894,"body":"was how the poem ended."},{"startTime":970.984,"endTime":972.8140000000001,"body":"I mean, he, he did bless him."},{"startTime":972.8140000000001,"endTime":974.614,"body":"He did have kids that poet"},{"startTime":972.8140000000001,"endTime":974.614,"body":"in the end, he was from"},{"startTime":974.614,"endTime":977.124,"body":"Coventry random around,"},{"startTime":974.614,"endTime":977.124,"body":"lived around the corner"},{"startTime":977.124,"endTime":977.874,"body":"from where I grew up."},{"startTime":977.874,"endTime":980.2840000000001,"body":"Rather strangely, if"},{"startTime":977.874,"endTime":980.2840000000001,"body":"somebody's had that"},{"startTime":980.2840000000001,"endTime":983.354,"body":"message from a very"},{"startTime":980.2840000000001,"endTime":983.354,"body":"young age, that parents"},{"startTime":984.2710000000001,"endTime":985.951,"body":"always make things worse."},{"startTime":986.6510000000001,"endTime":989.6210000000001,"body":"That needs addressing so"},{"startTime":986.6510000000001,"endTime":989.6210000000001,"body":"that you can trust yourself"},{"startTime":989.6210000000001,"endTime":993.1460000000001,"body":"to be the best you can be."},{"startTime":993.6560000000001,"endTime":994.796,"body":"To coin a phrase."},{"startTime":995.4960000000001,"endTime":998.2860000000001,"body":"And not have to think that"},{"startTime":995.4960000000001,"endTime":998.2860000000001,"body":"you're gonna be perfect."},{"startTime":998.3760000000001,"endTime":999.936,"body":"If somebody's got a"},{"startTime":998.3760000000001,"endTime":999.936,"body":"fear of parenting."},{"startTime":1000.446,"endTime":1003.505,"body":"Because as we know"},{"startTime":1000.446,"endTime":1003.505,"body":"as therapists, good"},{"startTime":1003.5100000000001,"endTime":1005.6650000000001,"body":"enough is good enough."},{"startTime":1006.1750000000001,"endTime":1007.335,"body":"Just be good enough."},{"startTime":1007.955,"endTime":1010.255,"body":"And that applies everywhere,"},{"startTime":1007.955,"endTime":1010.255,"body":"not just for parenting."},{"startTime":1010.5250000000001,"endTime":1014.5450000000001,"body":"And actually being too good"},{"startTime":1010.5250000000001,"endTime":1014.5450000000001,"body":"as a parent would be a bad"},{"startTime":1014.5450000000001,"endTime":1018.6850000000001,"body":"thing because children have"},{"startTime":1014.5450000000001,"endTime":1018.6850000000001,"body":"to learn, and I'm sure I've"},{"startTime":1018.69,"endTime":1021.085,"body":"said this on another episode"},{"startTime":1018.69,"endTime":1021.085,"body":"somewhere, but I think it"},{"startTime":1021.085,"endTime":1022.1650000000001,"body":"probably bears repeating."},{"startTime":1023.245,"endTime":1026.125,"body":"If you're too good, then"},{"startTime":1023.245,"endTime":1026.125,"body":"children don't learn that"},{"startTime":1026.155,"endTime":1028.105,"body":"people can be inconsistent."},{"startTime":1028.865,"endTime":1031.52,"body":"And then there's what's gonna"},{"startTime":1028.865,"endTime":1031.52,"body":"happen when they go to school."},{"startTime":1031.52,"endTime":1034.25,"body":"What's gonna happen when"},{"startTime":1031.52,"endTime":1034.25,"body":"they go into the workplace."},{"startTime":1035.0,"endTime":1038.81,"body":"But I was also just thinking"},{"startTime":1035.0,"endTime":1038.81,"body":"about the fact in terms of the"},{"startTime":1038.81,"endTime":1042.26,"body":"fear of, of being a parent,"},{"startTime":1038.81,"endTime":1042.26,"body":"the fear of childbirth."},{"startTime":1042.35,"endTime":1045.44,"body":"Well, we all get childbirth"},{"startTime":1042.35,"endTime":1045.44,"body":"lessons, don't we?"},{"startTime":1045.44,"endTime":1046.24,"body":"You know, whether it's."},{"startTime":1046.54,"endTime":1050.95,"body":"Through your local NHS"},{"startTime":1046.54,"endTime":1050.95,"body":"practice or whether you go to"},{"startTime":1050.95,"endTime":1054.9399999999998,"body":"N C T classes, whatever, it's"},{"startTime":1050.95,"endTime":1054.9399999999998,"body":"an expectation that you will"},{"startTime":1054.9399999999998,"endTime":1058.6,"body":"have classes and learn about"},{"startTime":1054.9399999999998,"endTime":1058.6,"body":"the process of giving birth."},{"startTime":1058.789,"endTime":1059.079,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1059.779,"endTime":1061.879,"body":"There's no classes"},{"startTime":1059.779,"endTime":1061.879,"body":"about being a parent."},{"startTime":1062.359,"endTime":1062.9589999999998,"body":"That's it."},{"startTime":1063.0649999999998,"endTime":1065.715,"body":"You're sent home with this"},{"startTime":1063.0649999999998,"endTime":1065.715,"body":"tiny little thing that makes"},{"startTime":1065.715,"endTime":1068.7749999999999,"body":"strange noises and does Yeah."},{"startTime":1069.0449999999998,"endTime":1071.5049999999999,"body":"Then you dunno what it's"},{"startTime":1069.0449999999998,"endTime":1071.5049999999999,"body":"asking for to start with"},{"startTime":1071.995,"endTime":1075.105,"body":"and, and, okay, you might get"},{"startTime":1071.995,"endTime":1075.105,"body":"visits from a health visitor"},{"startTime":1075.465,"endTime":1079.365,"body":"and go occasionally to the"},{"startTime":1075.465,"endTime":1079.365,"body":"gp, but you are left alone."},{"startTime":1079.875,"endTime":1082.455,"body":"And so it's no wonder"},{"startTime":1079.875,"endTime":1082.455,"body":"that it's scary for"},{"startTime":1082.455,"endTime":1083.145,"body":"a lot of people."},{"startTime":1083.7469999999998,"endTime":1086.327,"body":"Probably should be for"},{"startTime":1083.7469999999998,"endTime":1086.327,"body":"everybody really, unless"},{"startTime":1086.327,"endTime":1089.597,"body":"they've been around a lot"},{"startTime":1086.327,"endTime":1089.597,"body":"of kids for a lot of time."},{"startTime":1089.85,"endTime":1093.9679999999998,"body":"Yeah, I think a lot of people"},{"startTime":1089.85,"endTime":1093.9679999999998,"body":"have apprehensions about it"},{"startTime":1093.9679999999998,"endTime":1096.706,"body":"too, but it, and it's natural"},{"startTime":1093.9679999999998,"endTime":1096.706,"body":"to have some, as you say."},{"startTime":1097.042,"endTime":1098.926,"body":"I guess it depends on"},{"startTime":1097.042,"endTime":1098.926,"body":"the scale of that and"},{"startTime":1098.936,"endTime":1100.495,"body":"Richard you're quite right."},{"startTime":1100.495,"endTime":1102.715,"body":"You know, a lot of people"},{"startTime":1100.495,"endTime":1102.715,"body":"have concerns about am I"},{"startTime":1102.715,"endTime":1104.845,"body":"gonna be a good enough parent?"},{"startTime":1104.845,"endTime":1107.395,"body":"I think particularly if their"},{"startTime":1104.845,"endTime":1107.395,"body":"own experience of parenting"},{"startTime":1107.395,"endTime":1110.5919999999999,"body":"when they themselves were"},{"startTime":1107.395,"endTime":1110.5919999999999,"body":"children was less than ideal."},{"startTime":1110.607,"endTime":1112.732,"body":"And of course it's Fiona,"},{"startTime":1110.607,"endTime":1112.732,"body":"you say Nobody has an ideal"},{"startTime":1112.732,"endTime":1115.252,"body":"experience and it wouldn't"},{"startTime":1112.732,"endTime":1115.252,"body":"be good for us I if we did."},{"startTime":1115.6419999999998,"endTime":1119.307,"body":"And sometimes, you know,"},{"startTime":1115.6419999999998,"endTime":1119.307,"body":"helping clients to, I suppose,"},{"startTime":1119.307,"endTime":1122.995,"body":"come to that acceptance, that"},{"startTime":1119.307,"endTime":1122.995,"body":"good enough is good enough,"},{"startTime":1122.995,"endTime":1125.0649999999998,"body":"can be, can be very key here."},{"startTime":1125.0649999999998,"endTime":1127.835,"body":"And also that, you kind"},{"startTime":1125.0649999999998,"endTime":1127.835,"body":"of learn it a bit as a"},{"startTime":1127.835,"endTime":1129.0649999999998,"body":"parent, as you go along."},{"startTime":1129.0649999999998,"endTime":1131.84,"body":"That, that, the child"},{"startTime":1129.0649999999998,"endTime":1131.84,"body":"grows up over time and"},{"startTime":1131.845,"endTime":1132.8,"body":"you grow with them."},{"startTime":1132.8049999999998,"endTime":1135.59,"body":"So you don't need to know"},{"startTime":1132.8049999999998,"endTime":1135.59,"body":"perhaps how best a parent a"},{"startTime":1135.59,"endTime":1137.403,"body":"teenager when the baby's born."},{"startTime":1137.643,"endTime":1140.138,"body":"At that point, you only need"},{"startTime":1137.643,"endTime":1140.138,"body":"to learn how to, care for"},{"startTime":1140.138,"endTime":1143.588,"body":"the baby and, and your skills"},{"startTime":1140.138,"endTime":1143.588,"body":"kind of grow along with them."},{"startTime":1144.008,"endTime":1145.4199999999998,"body":"And that, you know,"},{"startTime":1144.008,"endTime":1145.4199999999998,"body":"it's an iterative"},{"startTime":1145.4199999999998,"endTime":1146.95,"body":"process in that sense."},{"startTime":1147.028,"endTime":1149.4579999999999,"body":"I am also quite"},{"startTime":1147.028,"endTime":1149.4579999999999,"body":"interested in people's"},{"startTime":1149.741,"endTime":1153.671,"body":"beliefs growing up about"},{"startTime":1149.741,"endTime":1153.671,"body":"childbirth itself because."},{"startTime":1154.234,"endTime":1158.0439999999999,"body":"Probably just to frighten"},{"startTime":1154.234,"endTime":1158.0439999999999,"body":"teenage girls into not"},{"startTime":1158.0439999999999,"endTime":1160.504,"body":"having sex, into not"},{"startTime":1158.0439999999999,"endTime":1160.504,"body":"getting pregnant young."},{"startTime":1161.204,"endTime":1163.004,"body":"People do create"},{"startTime":1161.204,"endTime":1163.004,"body":"these stories."},{"startTime":1163.004,"endTime":1166.774,"body":"Deliberately exaggerating"},{"startTime":1163.004,"endTime":1166.774,"body":"the difficulties that can"},{"startTime":1166.774,"endTime":1169.264,"body":"come with pregnancy and"},{"startTime":1166.774,"endTime":1169.264,"body":"childbirth to put the fear"},{"startTime":1169.264,"endTime":1173.674,"body":"of it into them, the, the"},{"startTime":1169.264,"endTime":1173.674,"body":"messages well-intentioned."},{"startTime":1174.364,"endTime":1174.994,"body":"Were they though?"},{"startTime":1175.464,"endTime":1176.5739999999998,"body":"Well, maybe, of"},{"startTime":1175.464,"endTime":1176.5739999999998,"body":"course they are."},{"startTime":1176.5739999999998,"endTime":1178.434,"body":"Nobody goes out their"},{"startTime":1176.5739999999998,"endTime":1178.434,"body":"way to deliberately make"},{"startTime":1178.434,"endTime":1180.354,"body":"somebody unwell and unhappy."},{"startTime":1180.354,"endTime":1182.899,"body":"But people do exaggerate."},{"startTime":1183.319,"endTime":1186.319,"body":"Oh, you, you, you were"},{"startTime":1183.319,"endTime":1186.319,"body":"in labor for eight hours."},{"startTime":1186.319,"endTime":1189.139,"body":"Well, let me tell you, I"},{"startTime":1186.319,"endTime":1189.139,"body":"was in labor for 12 and you"},{"startTime":1189.144,"endTime":1191.2089999999998,"body":"should see the scar on my."},{"startTime":1192.139,"endTime":1192.619,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":1193.309,"endTime":1195.559,"body":"But that's, that's"},{"startTime":1193.309,"endTime":1195.559,"body":"partly a culture thing."},{"startTime":1195.826,"endTime":1196.046,"body":"Hmm."},{"startTime":1196.2859999999998,"endTime":1199.013,"body":"We have a culture that"},{"startTime":1196.2859999999998,"endTime":1199.013,"body":"says the worse your"},{"startTime":1199.018,"endTime":1200.7359999999999,"body":"birth  the better you are."},{"startTime":1201.366,"endTime":1203.966,"body":"And so, toddler groups"},{"startTime":1201.366,"endTime":1203.966,"body":"and things like that."},{"startTime":1204.206,"endTime":1207.866,"body":"Mums will brag how"},{"startTime":1204.206,"endTime":1207.866,"body":"awful their birth was."},{"startTime":1208.2259999999999,"endTime":1211.9859999999999,"body":"And if you had a nice, easy"},{"startTime":1208.2259999999999,"endTime":1211.9859999999999,"body":"one, you're sort of looked"},{"startTime":1212.0059999999999,"endTime":1214.216,"body":"down upon as inferior."},{"startTime":1214.846,"endTime":1217.876,"body":"Which is a very, very strange"},{"startTime":1214.846,"endTime":1217.876,"body":"culture, but it's something"},{"startTime":1217.876,"endTime":1220.906,"body":"that I certainly raise"},{"startTime":1217.876,"endTime":1220.906,"body":"in hypnobirthing when I'm"},{"startTime":1220.906,"endTime":1224.2659999999998,"body":"working with somebody for"},{"startTime":1220.906,"endTime":1224.2659999999998,"body":"using hypnosis to give birth."},{"startTime":1224.386,"endTime":1227.136,"body":"Talk about that because"},{"startTime":1224.386,"endTime":1227.136,"body":"hopefully a hypnobirth"},{"startTime":1227.166,"endTime":1232.716,"body":"will be a really pleasant,"},{"startTime":1227.166,"endTime":1232.716,"body":"peaceful process with the"},{"startTime":1232.716,"endTime":1235.326,"body":"result of having a peaceful"},{"startTime":1232.716,"endTime":1235.326,"body":"baby at the end of it."},{"startTime":1236.0159999999998,"endTime":1237.636,"body":"And then they've got nothing"},{"startTime":1236.0159999999998,"endTime":1237.636,"body":"to moan about when they"},{"startTime":1237.636,"endTime":1238.956,"body":"go to the toddler group."},{"startTime":1239.5059999999999,"endTime":1240.886,"body":"So they need to be"},{"startTime":1239.5059999999999,"endTime":1240.886,"body":"prepared for that,"},{"startTime":1241.1779999999999,"endTime":1241.508,"body":"Because"},{"startTime":1241.514,"endTime":1241.6889999999999,"body":"if"},{"startTime":1241.722,"endTime":1243.414,"body":"you've got a six year old"},{"startTime":1241.722,"endTime":1243.414,"body":"daughter that's listening"},{"startTime":1243.5629999999999,"endTime":1247.248,"body":"to you talk about how"},{"startTime":1243.5629999999999,"endTime":1247.248,"body":"awful childbirth was, not"},{"startTime":1247.248,"endTime":1249.4379999999999,"body":"only does that make them"},{"startTime":1247.248,"endTime":1249.4379999999999,"body":"feel a bit rubbish because"},{"startTime":1249.5939999999998,"endTime":1252.0539999999999,"body":"once they're old enough to"},{"startTime":1249.5939999999998,"endTime":1252.0539999999999,"body":"understand, that's my fault."},{"startTime":1252.124,"endTime":1253.224,"body":"I did that."},{"startTime":1253.524,"endTime":1255.144,"body":"It was me that did"},{"startTime":1253.524,"endTime":1255.144,"body":"that to my mum."},{"startTime":1255.204,"endTime":1255.684,"body":"Oh no."},{"startTime":1255.684,"endTime":1258.0339999999999,"body":"How horrible am I"},{"startTime":1255.684,"endTime":1258.0339999999999,"body":"that needs adressing."},{"startTime":1258.414,"endTime":1262.704,"body":"But also they're internalizing"},{"startTime":1258.414,"endTime":1262.704,"body":"that idea of their future."},{"startTime":1263.154,"endTime":1265.494,"body":"If at a young age you're"},{"startTime":1263.154,"endTime":1265.494,"body":"telling yourself, oh,"},{"startTime":1265.524,"endTime":1267.8039999999999,"body":"childbirth is one of the"},{"startTime":1265.524,"endTime":1267.8039999999999,"body":"most painful things in the"},{"startTime":1267.8039999999999,"endTime":1269.991,"body":"world and it's horrible"},{"startTime":1267.8039999999999,"endTime":1269.991,"body":"and it shouldn't be done."},{"startTime":1270.586,"endTime":1271.686,"body":"Well, that's a"},{"startTime":1270.586,"endTime":1271.686,"body":"strange species."},{"startTime":1272.206,"endTime":1275.0259999999998,"body":"How did we evolve and, and"},{"startTime":1272.206,"endTime":1275.0259999999998,"body":"I know we've got bigger"},{"startTime":1275.0259999999998,"endTime":1276.466,"body":"heads now than we used to."},{"startTime":1276.7659999999998,"endTime":1276.946,"body":"Oh yeah."},{"startTime":1276.946,"endTime":1278.326,"body":"We do have bigger"},{"startTime":1276.946,"endTime":1278.326,"body":"heads than we used to."},{"startTime":1278.326,"endTime":1279.466,"body":"Cause our brains"},{"startTime":1278.326,"endTime":1279.466,"body":"have got bigger."},{"startTime":1279.466,"endTime":1281.656,"body":"But what that means is"},{"startTime":1279.466,"endTime":1281.656,"body":"the gestation period"},{"startTime":1281.656,"endTime":1282.406,"body":"has got smaller."},{"startTime":1282.4109999999998,"endTime":1286.2759999999998,"body":"So babies are more vulnerable"},{"startTime":1282.4109999999998,"endTime":1286.2759999999998,"body":"than they were 12 million"},{"startTime":1286.2759999999998,"endTime":1287.416,"body":"years ago or whatever."},{"startTime":1287.546,"endTime":1288.556,"body":"That's all."},{"startTime":1288.966,"endTime":1290.386,"body":"And I know it's"},{"startTime":1288.966,"endTime":1290.386,"body":"not shelling peas."},{"startTime":1290.416,"endTime":1293.806,"body":"And it is easy for me as a,"},{"startTime":1290.416,"endTime":1293.806,"body":"as a man to say, Childbirth?"},{"startTime":1293.806,"endTime":1295.0359999999998,"body":"Piece of cake."},{"startTime":1295.0359999999998,"endTime":1296.296,"body":"Don't worry about it."},{"startTime":1296.716,"endTime":1299.1609999999998,"body":"Because of course it's scary."},{"startTime":1299.251,"endTime":1300.811,"body":"How could that not be scary?"},{"startTime":1301.081,"endTime":1304.4109999999998,"body":"But it's what you do with"},{"startTime":1301.081,"endTime":1304.4109999999998,"body":"that fear and what you do with"},{"startTime":1304.4109999999998,"endTime":1306.421,"body":"your emotion that drives us."},{"startTime":1306.771,"endTime":1309.6109999999999,"body":"We certainly shouldn't be"},{"startTime":1306.771,"endTime":1309.6109999999999,"body":"shaming ourselves in any"},{"startTime":1309.6109999999999,"endTime":1312.1309999999999,"body":"way, shape or form for"},{"startTime":1309.6109999999999,"endTime":1312.1309999999999,"body":"what we're going through."},{"startTime":1312.4009999999998,"endTime":1315.071,"body":"And I think it's important"},{"startTime":1312.4009999999998,"endTime":1315.071,"body":"that if somebody is struggling"},{"startTime":1315.157,"endTime":1317.924,"body":"and hears us talking about"},{"startTime":1315.157,"endTime":1317.924,"body":"how stress has an impact"},{"startTime":1317.924,"endTime":1321.464,"body":"on fertility, it's not your"},{"startTime":1317.924,"endTime":1321.464,"body":"fault that you are stressed."},{"startTime":1322.164,"endTime":1326.2939999999999,"body":"I remember it was William"},{"startTime":1322.164,"endTime":1326.2939999999999,"body":"Davies who came on here last"},{"startTime":1326.2939999999999,"endTime":1329.71,"body":"month, and he asks his clients"},{"startTime":1326.2939999999999,"endTime":1329.71,"body":"a particular question and I've"},{"startTime":1329.71,"endTime":1331.96,"body":"started doing it as well now"},{"startTime":1329.71,"endTime":1331.96,"body":"cause I think it's wonderful."},{"startTime":1332.3039999999999,"endTime":1335.464,"body":"He says, did you"},{"startTime":1332.3039999999999,"endTime":1335.464,"body":"design your brain?"},{"startTime":1336.164,"endTime":1336.854,"body":"No."},{"startTime":1336.884,"endTime":1337.394,"body":"No I didn't."},{"startTime":1337.394,"endTime":1338.774,"body":"I then, it's not your fault."},{"startTime":1338.924,"endTime":1341.504,"body":"Your brain is just"},{"startTime":1338.924,"endTime":1341.504,"body":"doing what brains do."},{"startTime":1342.192,"endTime":1343.512,"body":"Did you choose your brain?"},{"startTime":1343.512,"endTime":1345.5819999999999,"body":"Did you choose your"},{"startTime":1343.512,"endTime":1345.5819999999999,"body":"experiences growing up?"},{"startTime":1345.5819999999999,"endTime":1346.962,"body":"Did you choose any of this?"},{"startTime":1346.962,"endTime":1349.422,"body":"Cuz anybody that went through"},{"startTime":1346.962,"endTime":1349.422,"body":"exactly what you've gone"},{"startTime":1349.422,"endTime":1353.1119999999999,"body":"through would be having"},{"startTime":1349.422,"endTime":1353.1119999999999,"body":"exactly the same experience."},{"startTime":1353.1419999999998,"endTime":1355.242,"body":"None of this is your fault."},{"startTime":1355.6019999999999,"endTime":1357.3719999999998,"body":"If you're stressed,"},{"startTime":1355.6019999999999,"endTime":1357.3719999999998,"body":"it's not your fault."},{"startTime":1357.3719999999998,"endTime":1358.3619999999999,"body":"If you can't get pregnant."},{"startTime":1358.422,"endTime":1359.762,"body":"It's not your fault."},{"startTime":1361.572,"endTime":1364.452,"body":"But it's not easy to"},{"startTime":1361.572,"endTime":1364.452,"body":"believe that is it."},{"startTime":1365.022,"endTime":1366.3719999999998,"body":"And we've gotta"},{"startTime":1365.022,"endTime":1366.3719999999998,"body":"challenge those thoughts."},{"startTime":1366.942,"endTime":1369.003,"body":"No, it isn't easy"},{"startTime":1366.942,"endTime":1369.003,"body":"to believe that."},{"startTime":1369.233,"endTime":1372.223,"body":"There's often a sense of"},{"startTime":1369.233,"endTime":1372.223,"body":"self blame or shame and"},{"startTime":1372.223,"endTime":1374.8329999999999,"body":"that can sometimes take"},{"startTime":1372.223,"endTime":1374.8329999999999,"body":"the form of things like"},{"startTime":1374.8329999999999,"endTime":1377.683,"body":"regrets of, you know, why"},{"startTime":1374.8329999999999,"endTime":1377.683,"body":"didn't we try it before?"},{"startTime":1377.807,"endTime":1379.2269999999999,"body":"why did I think it"},{"startTime":1377.807,"endTime":1379.2269999999999,"body":"was gonna be easy?"},{"startTime":1380.2759999999998,"endTime":1382.8609999999999,"body":"it can become very, very,"},{"startTime":1380.2759999999998,"endTime":1382.8609999999999,"body":"very, very stressful."},{"startTime":1382.961,"endTime":1383.801,"body":"But you're quite right."},{"startTime":1383.801,"endTime":1386.201,"body":"It's not, anybody's fault"},{"startTime":1383.801,"endTime":1386.201,"body":"that they can't get pregnant."},{"startTime":1386.201,"endTime":1388.091,"body":"It's not anybody's fault"},{"startTime":1386.201,"endTime":1388.091,"body":"they find it stressful."},{"startTime":1388.091,"endTime":1391.431,"body":"And it's incredibly common"},{"startTime":1388.091,"endTime":1391.431,"body":"to find it stressful if you"},{"startTime":1391.436,"endTime":1393.1109999999999,"body":"are struggling to conceive."},{"startTime":1393.1109999999999,"endTime":1394.937,"body":"And the research"},{"startTime":1393.1109999999999,"endTime":1394.937,"body":"bears that out."},{"startTime":1395.175,"endTime":1396.2549999999999,"body":"Certainly for women who"},{"startTime":1396.74,"endTime":1398.47,"body":"undergo  treatment"},{"startTime":1396.74,"endTime":1398.47,"body":"for infertility."},{"startTime":1398.47,"endTime":1402.1599999999999,"body":"So IVF and related treatments"},{"startTime":1398.47,"endTime":1402.1599999999999,"body":"and stress and anxiety"},{"startTime":1402.1599999999999,"endTime":1404.4099999999999,"body":"and depression levels are"},{"startTime":1402.1599999999999,"endTime":1404.4099999999999,"body":"comparable to people who"},{"startTime":1404.415,"endTime":1408.07,"body":"are suffering from cancer,"},{"startTime":1404.415,"endTime":1408.07,"body":"H I V and heart disease."},{"startTime":1408.1699999999998,"endTime":1411.48,"body":"And the biggest reason for"},{"startTime":1408.1699999999998,"endTime":1411.48,"body":"stopping treatment before"},{"startTime":1411.48,"endTime":1415.4109999999998,"body":"being able to conceive  is"},{"startTime":1411.48,"endTime":1415.4109999999998,"body":"not to do with the  discomfort"},{"startTime":1415.4109999999998,"endTime":1418.725,"body":"of any medical procedures"},{"startTime":1415.4109999999998,"endTime":1418.725,"body":"or the money factor because"},{"startTime":1418.73,"endTime":1420.915,"body":"if you go privately, it"},{"startTime":1418.73,"endTime":1420.915,"body":"can be very expensive."},{"startTime":1421.231,"endTime":1423.211,"body":"The biggest reason why"},{"startTime":1421.231,"endTime":1423.211,"body":"treatment has stopped is"},{"startTime":1423.211,"endTime":1425.431,"body":"because of the stress,"},{"startTime":1423.211,"endTime":1425.431,"body":"because of the psychological"},{"startTime":1425.436,"endTime":1428.271,"body":"and emotional impact of"},{"startTime":1425.436,"endTime":1428.271,"body":"going through that process."},{"startTime":1428.9859999999999,"endTime":1430.966,"body":"And struggling to"},{"startTime":1428.9859999999999,"endTime":1430.966,"body":"conceive and, and"},{"startTime":1430.966,"endTime":1432.0159999999998,"body":"needing the treatment."},{"startTime":1432.5929999999998,"endTime":1435.0349999999999,"body":"so  my message to"},{"startTime":1432.5929999999998,"endTime":1435.0349999999999,"body":"anybody who's struggling"},{"startTime":1435.0349999999999,"endTime":1436.825,"body":"is, you are not alone."},{"startTime":1437.115,"endTime":1440.5049999999999,"body":"And it's not your fault"},{"startTime":1437.115,"endTime":1440.5049999999999,"body":"and it's really completely"},{"startTime":1440.5049999999999,"endTime":1442.895,"body":"understandable given the"},{"startTime":1440.5049999999999,"endTime":1442.895,"body":"situation you are in."},{"startTime":1443.6799999999998,"endTime":1443.8,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"startTime":1444.5,"endTime":1446.21,"body":"I don't think it's that"},{"startTime":1444.5,"endTime":1446.21,"body":"easy to be as compassionate"},{"startTime":1446.21,"endTime":1446.84,"body":"with ourselves."},{"startTime":1446.84,"endTime":1447.29,"body":"Is it though?"},{"startTime":1447.645,"endTime":1448.145,"body":"No, no."},{"startTime":1448.5149999999999,"endTime":1451.455,"body":"I was, as you said, that"},{"startTime":1448.5149999999999,"endTime":1451.455,"body":"I was just about to come"},{"startTime":1451.46,"endTime":1453.825,"body":"in and say about the"},{"startTime":1451.46,"endTime":1453.825,"body":"self-compassion that William"},{"startTime":1453.83,"endTime":1455.0549999999998,"body":"was talking about as well."},{"startTime":1455.425,"endTime":1458.825,"body":"And one particular form of"},{"startTime":1455.425,"endTime":1458.825,"body":"regret is is women who've"},{"startTime":1458.825,"endTime":1460.2949999999998,"body":"had a previous abortion."},{"startTime":1460.7549999999999,"endTime":1466.095,"body":"And that can often trigger"},{"startTime":1460.7549999999999,"endTime":1466.095,"body":"guilt that they might not"},{"startTime":1466.095,"endTime":1471.2549999999999,"body":"feel that it was wrong to"},{"startTime":1466.095,"endTime":1471.2549999999999,"body":"have done that, but they"},{"startTime":1471.2549999999999,"endTime":1475.2749999999999,"body":"then might think, but if I"},{"startTime":1471.2549999999999,"endTime":1475.2749999999999,"body":"hadn't, I wouldn't be here."},{"startTime":1475.725,"endTime":1477.165,"body":"So that's, that's"},{"startTime":1475.725,"endTime":1477.165,"body":"a particular one."},{"startTime":1477.445,"endTime":1479.887,"body":"You were then talking"},{"startTime":1477.445,"endTime":1479.887,"body":"Lauren about preparation"},{"startTime":1480.027,"endTime":1481.667,"body":"for infertility."},{"startTime":1482.1029999999998,"endTime":1485.763,"body":"what about going through I"},{"startTime":1482.1029999999998,"endTime":1485.763,"body":"V F, for example, how can"},{"startTime":1486.013,"endTime":1490.0829999999999,"body":"therapy and hypnotherapy"},{"startTime":1486.013,"endTime":1490.0829999999999,"body":"help with that journey?"},{"startTime":1490.7279999999998,"endTime":1493.7279999999998,"body":"Yeah, I mean, it is, it"},{"startTime":1490.7279999999998,"endTime":1493.7279999999998,"body":"can be a stressful one."},{"startTime":1493.972,"endTime":1496.042,"body":"it's a journey that's"},{"startTime":1493.972,"endTime":1496.042,"body":"characterized by kind of"},{"startTime":1496.042,"endTime":1498.5069999999998,"body":"multiple kind of milestones."},{"startTime":1498.557,"endTime":1500.537,"body":"and lots of waiting"},{"startTime":1498.557,"endTime":1500.537,"body":"periods, whether that's"},{"startTime":1500.537,"endTime":1502.2169999999999,"body":"waiting to begin treatment."},{"startTime":1502.5169999999998,"endTime":1505.127,"body":"Waiting to have a scan,"},{"startTime":1502.5169999999998,"endTime":1505.127,"body":"waiting on results of"},{"startTime":1505.127,"endTime":1507.347,"body":"that, waiting for a date"},{"startTime":1505.127,"endTime":1507.347,"body":"when you're gonna trigger"},{"startTime":1507.347,"endTime":1510.424,"body":"your shot waiting for egg"},{"startTime":1507.347,"endTime":1510.424,"body":"collection, waiting to get"},{"startTime":1510.424,"endTime":1513.4289999999999,"body":"updates on how many eggs are"},{"startTime":1510.424,"endTime":1513.4289999999999,"body":"fertilized and how embryos"},{"startTime":1513.4289999999999,"endTime":1515.7749999999999,"body":"are, progressing, waiting"},{"startTime":1513.4289999999999,"endTime":1515.7749999999999,"body":"to know about your transfer."},{"startTime":1515.7749999999999,"endTime":1517.875,"body":"Then there's the, what's"},{"startTime":1515.7749999999999,"endTime":1517.875,"body":"called the two week wait,"},{"startTime":1517.875,"endTime":1520.329,"body":"which is the period  where"},{"startTime":1517.875,"endTime":1520.329,"body":"you are waiting to, test"},{"startTime":1520.329,"endTime":1522.549,"body":"for pregnancy, which is"},{"startTime":1520.329,"endTime":1522.549,"body":"incredibly stressful."},{"startTime":1522.879,"endTime":1524.731,"body":"So it is a lot to go through."},{"startTime":1525.031,"endTime":1527.581,"body":"And of course the key part"},{"startTime":1525.031,"endTime":1527.581,"body":"of sort of therapeutic"},{"startTime":1527.581,"endTime":1530.961,"body":"relationship is to help"},{"startTime":1527.581,"endTime":1530.961,"body":"clients go through that to"},{"startTime":1531.201,"endTime":1534.551,"body":"support them to give them"},{"startTime":1531.201,"endTime":1534.551,"body":"a safe space for talking"},{"startTime":1534.551,"endTime":1537.6509999999998,"body":"about how they're feeling to"},{"startTime":1534.551,"endTime":1537.6509999999998,"body":"help them with strategies,"},{"startTime":1537.6509999999998,"endTime":1539.841,"body":"to sort of managing that"},{"startTime":1537.6509999999998,"endTime":1539.841,"body":"way, to managing the"},{"startTime":1539.8809999999999,"endTime":1544.051,"body":"anxiety of that and to"},{"startTime":1539.8809999999999,"endTime":1544.051,"body":"help them, you know, live."},{"startTime":1544.636,"endTime":1547.636,"body":"Live during that phase in"},{"startTime":1544.636,"endTime":1547.636,"body":"the way that's gonna best"},{"startTime":1547.686,"endTime":1550.2359999999999,"body":"support them emotionally"},{"startTime":1547.686,"endTime":1550.2359999999999,"body":"and psychologically,"},{"startTime":1550.5059999999999,"endTime":1553.359,"body":"which can vary very much"},{"startTime":1550.5059999999999,"endTime":1553.359,"body":"from person to person."},{"startTime":1553.619,"endTime":1557.4399999999998,"body":"But  people sometimes find"},{"startTime":1553.619,"endTime":1557.4399999999998,"body":"that they lose, contact a"},{"startTime":1557.445,"endTime":1560.62,"body":"bit with friends or, you"},{"startTime":1557.445,"endTime":1560.62,"body":"know, their normal routine."},{"startTime":1560.72,"endTime":1562.195,"body":"For one reason or, or another."},{"startTime":1562.245,"endTime":1564.395,"body":"But actually helping clients"},{"startTime":1562.245,"endTime":1564.395,"body":"to make sure that,  I"},{"startTime":1564.395,"endTime":1566.944,"body":"suppose set up their daily"},{"startTime":1564.395,"endTime":1566.944,"body":"and weekly routines in a"},{"startTime":1566.944,"endTime":1568.5939999999998,"body":"way that supports them,"},{"startTime":1566.944,"endTime":1568.5939999999998,"body":"that they're not, you"},{"startTime":1568.5939999999998,"endTime":1570.8439999999998,"body":"know, they're going to have"},{"startTime":1568.5939999999998,"endTime":1570.8439999999998,"body":"things in the week that will"},{"startTime":1571.4489999999998,"endTime":1572.889,"body":"support their wellbeing."},{"startTime":1573.269,"endTime":1575.9689999999998,"body":"And just sort of tips"},{"startTime":1573.269,"endTime":1575.9689999999998,"body":"and tricks to get through"},{"startTime":1575.9689999999998,"endTime":1578.549,"body":"it as, as you know,"},{"startTime":1575.9689999999998,"endTime":1578.549,"body":"as much as possible."},{"startTime":1579.0,"endTime":1579.6899999999998,"body":"There's that sense."},{"startTime":1579.6899999999998,"endTime":1582.532,"body":"I think sometimes one way"},{"startTime":1579.6899999999998,"endTime":1582.532,"body":"of feeling stressed or bit"},{"startTime":1582.532,"endTime":1584.8419999999999,"body":"anxious or low in mood,"},{"startTime":1582.532,"endTime":1584.8419999999999,"body":"that, that we kind of, kind"},{"startTime":1584.8419999999999,"endTime":1586.952,"body":"of naturally seek things"},{"startTime":1584.8419999999999,"endTime":1586.952,"body":"out that kind of chime"},{"startTime":1587.272,"endTime":1588.322,"body":"with the mood we're in."},{"startTime":1588.322,"endTime":1591.022,"body":"Like, so sometimes if"},{"startTime":1588.322,"endTime":1591.022,"body":"we feel sad, we might"},{"startTime":1591.022,"endTime":1591.8619999999999,"body":"think to put some sad."},{"startTime":1591.8619999999999,"endTime":1592.6419999999998,"body":"Music on."},{"startTime":1592.6419999999998,"endTime":1594.972,"body":"And whereas actually you"},{"startTime":1592.6419999999998,"endTime":1594.972,"body":"know, thinking about that"},{"startTime":1594.972,"endTime":1597.6419999999998,"body":"and thinking, well, you know,"},{"startTime":1594.972,"endTime":1597.6419999999998,"body":"how am I gonna feel better?"},{"startTime":1597.822,"endTime":1598.8419999999999,"body":"What can I do?"},{"startTime":1598.8919999999998,"endTime":1602.864,"body":"What kind of activities help"},{"startTime":1598.8919999999998,"endTime":1602.864,"body":"me to feel nourished and, and"},{"startTime":1602.864,"endTime":1605.864,"body":"better in myself and sort of"},{"startTime":1602.864,"endTime":1605.864,"body":"actively planning that out."},{"startTime":1606.3039999999999,"endTime":1609.417,"body":"We can also with hypnosis"},{"startTime":1606.3039999999999,"endTime":1609.417,"body":"work with the sort of various"},{"startTime":1609.417,"endTime":1613.287,"body":"stages of the treatment in a"},{"startTime":1609.417,"endTime":1613.287,"body":"sort of mind body way to help"},{"startTime":1613.347,"endTime":1616.479,"body":"um, you know, body and mind to"},{"startTime":1613.347,"endTime":1616.479,"body":"respond to the treatment and"},{"startTime":1616.479,"endTime":1620.7169999999999,"body":"just strategies for staying"},{"startTime":1616.479,"endTime":1620.7169999999999,"body":"calm and, relaxed and as,"},{"startTime":1620.807,"endTime":1622.697,"body":"as confident as we can feel."},{"startTime":1622.9569999999999,"endTime":1625.867,"body":"And also I suppose dealing"},{"startTime":1622.9569999999999,"endTime":1625.867,"body":"with the, the sort of various"},{"startTime":1625.867,"endTime":1630.243,"body":"worries around the sort of"},{"startTime":1625.867,"endTime":1630.243,"body":"time ticking away perhaps."},{"startTime":1630.293,"endTime":1632.985,"body":"So there's, there's"},{"startTime":1630.293,"endTime":1632.985,"body":"lots we can, do to help."},{"startTime":1633.855,"endTime":1636.855,"body":"I guess also, eventually"},{"startTime":1633.855,"endTime":1636.855,"body":"there comes to a point where,"},{"startTime":1637.5549999999998,"endTime":1640.495,"body":"As therapists, we need to"},{"startTime":1637.5549999999998,"endTime":1640.495,"body":"support people who wanted"},{"startTime":1640.5549999999998,"endTime":1643.075,"body":"children and, and can't."},{"startTime":1643.2549999999999,"endTime":1644.3049999999998,"body":"It's just not happening."},{"startTime":1645.0049999999999,"endTime":1648.799,"body":"It's, it's so hard as"},{"startTime":1645.0049999999999,"endTime":1648.799,"body":"the therapist to be the"},{"startTime":1648.799,"endTime":1652.099,"body":"optimistic realist because"},{"startTime":1648.799,"endTime":1652.099,"body":"on one hand there's a part"},{"startTime":1652.099,"endTime":1656.329,"body":"of me that says Never give up"},{"startTime":1652.099,"endTime":1656.329,"body":"on, on, on the possibility."},{"startTime":1657.029,"endTime":1659.849,"body":"But there's also the realist"},{"startTime":1657.029,"endTime":1659.849,"body":"part of me that says, at"},{"startTime":1659.849,"endTime":1663.509,"body":"some point you have to accept"},{"startTime":1659.849,"endTime":1663.509,"body":"that this isn't gonna happen."},{"startTime":1663.9289999999999,"endTime":1666.359,"body":"But the, the negative"},{"startTime":1663.9289999999999,"endTime":1666.359,"body":"connotations of that"},{"startTime":1666.359,"endTime":1669.6789999999999,"body":"acceptance feels"},{"startTime":1666.359,"endTime":1669.6789999999999,"body":"almost unethical to, to"},{"startTime":1669.6789999999999,"endTime":1670.9689999999998,"body":"suggest that to people."},{"startTime":1670.999,"endTime":1674.3519999999999,"body":"But I guess that's, that's"},{"startTime":1670.999,"endTime":1674.3519999999999,"body":"the clients choice to make."},{"startTime":1674.3609999999999,"endTime":1676.1309999999999,"body":"If they want to come into"},{"startTime":1674.3609999999999,"endTime":1676.1309999999999,"body":"therapy and say, I need to"},{"startTime":1676.136,"endTime":1678.831,"body":"learn how to accept that"},{"startTime":1676.136,"endTime":1678.831,"body":"this isn't gonna happen."},{"startTime":1679.3709999999999,"endTime":1680.8709999999999,"body":"At what point in their"},{"startTime":1679.3709999999999,"endTime":1680.8709999999999,"body":"treatment, if they're"},{"startTime":1680.8709999999999,"endTime":1682.731,"body":"seeing us every two or"},{"startTime":1680.8709999999999,"endTime":1682.731,"body":"three weeks for a couple"},{"startTime":1682.7359999999999,"endTime":1685.581,"body":"of years, maybe, as they're"},{"startTime":1682.7359999999999,"endTime":1685.581,"body":"really, really trying."},{"startTime":1686.6609999999998,"endTime":1691.761,"body":"At what point do we then maybe"},{"startTime":1686.6609999999998,"endTime":1691.761,"body":"start, do we suggest maybe we"},{"startTime":1692.001,"endTime":1693.471,"body":"need to learn to accept this?"},{"startTime":1693.771,"endTime":1695.241,"body":"I don't think we do that."},{"startTime":1695.905,"endTime":1696.205,"body":"I wouldn't."},{"startTime":1696.925,"endTime":1698.125,"body":"That's gotta come"},{"startTime":1696.925,"endTime":1698.125,"body":"from the client."},{"startTime":1698.1299999999999,"endTime":1699.355,"body":"Everything needs"},{"startTime":1698.1299999999999,"endTime":1699.355,"body":"to be client led."},{"startTime":1699.655,"endTime":1700.735,"body":"Yeah, absolutely."},{"startTime":1700.735,"endTime":1702.475,"body":"And, and I would"},{"startTime":1700.735,"endTime":1702.475,"body":"never suggest that."},{"startTime":1702.5049999999999,"endTime":1705.386,"body":"And I think people you know,"},{"startTime":1702.5049999999999,"endTime":1705.386,"body":"come to that conclusion a a"},{"startTime":1705.3909999999998,"endTime":1708.116,"body":"slightly different points, and"},{"startTime":1705.3909999999998,"endTime":1708.116,"body":"it should always be, you know,"},{"startTime":1708.116,"endTime":1709.826,"body":"a decision that they come to."},{"startTime":1710.156,"endTime":1713.692,"body":"And I, think really that's"},{"startTime":1710.156,"endTime":1713.692,"body":"always at the back of clients'"},{"startTime":1713.692,"endTime":1717.042,"body":"minds that at some point it"},{"startTime":1713.692,"endTime":1717.042,"body":"might come to that and, and"},{"startTime":1717.042,"endTime":1719.442,"body":"obviously they're hoping"},{"startTime":1717.042,"endTime":1719.442,"body":"very much that it doesn't."},{"startTime":1719.8719999999998,"endTime":1722.46,"body":"But I think that's, for each"},{"startTime":1719.8719999999998,"endTime":1722.46,"body":"individual, I guess, to work"},{"startTime":1722.46,"endTime":1725.0069999999998,"body":"out and, and with their other"},{"startTime":1722.46,"endTime":1725.0069999999998,"body":"half if they have a partner"},{"startTime":1725.0069999999998,"endTime":1727.158,"body":"they're going through this"},{"startTime":1725.0069999999998,"endTime":1727.158,"body":"with, to come to that perhaps"},{"startTime":1727.158,"endTime":1728.568,"body":"together as a couple as well."},{"startTime":1728.918,"endTime":1732.3339999999998,"body":"Frustrating though, because"},{"startTime":1728.918,"endTime":1732.3339999999998,"body":"we hear so many stories."},{"startTime":1732.3339999999998,"endTime":1735.274,"body":"It's, I mean, it's anecdotal"},{"startTime":1732.3339999999998,"endTime":1735.274,"body":"more than anything, but how"},{"startTime":1735.274,"endTime":1738.124,"body":"many times do we hear somebody"},{"startTime":1735.274,"endTime":1738.124,"body":"say, I only got pregnant"},{"startTime":1738.124,"endTime":1738.934,"body":"when I stopped trying."},{"startTime":1739.0539999999999,"endTime":1739.274,"body":"Mm."},{"startTime":1739.974,"endTime":1742.354,"body":"You keep saying exactly"},{"startTime":1739.974,"endTime":1742.354,"body":"what I was about to say just"},{"startTime":1742.359,"endTime":1743.854,"body":"before I say it Richard today."},{"startTime":1744.184,"endTime":1744.424,"body":"I was."},{"startTime":1744.694,"endTime":1747.604,"body":"I was going to say that and"},{"startTime":1744.694,"endTime":1747.604,"body":"if think back to when I was"},{"startTime":1747.604,"endTime":1750.484,"body":"young and number of people"},{"startTime":1747.604,"endTime":1750.484,"body":"I knew who were adopted and"},{"startTime":1750.484,"endTime":1754.174,"body":"then have natural brothers and"},{"startTime":1750.484,"endTime":1754.174,"body":"sisters because it's exactly"},{"startTime":1754.174,"endTime":1755.524,"body":"that when they stopped."},{"startTime":1755.529,"endTime":1760.8039999999999,"body":"But that, that evidence as"},{"startTime":1755.529,"endTime":1760.8039999999999,"body":"it were, sort of shows the"},{"startTime":1760.809,"endTime":1765.484,"body":"value of the processes that"},{"startTime":1760.809,"endTime":1765.484,"body":"Lauren's been describing to"},{"startTime":1765.484,"endTime":1770.0439999999999,"body":"get to that relaxed point"},{"startTime":1765.484,"endTime":1770.0439999999999,"body":"to allow it to happen."},{"startTime":1770.222,"endTime":1770.5819999999999,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1770.5819999999999,"endTime":1771.3319999999999,"body":"And that's the thing."},{"startTime":1771.3319999999999,"endTime":1774.6019999999999,"body":"It's very much, I think,"},{"startTime":1771.3319999999999,"endTime":1774.6019999999999,"body":"a state of allowing for"},{"startTime":1774.6019999999999,"endTime":1777.542,"body":"the body to do its job and"},{"startTime":1774.6019999999999,"endTime":1777.542,"body":"for pregnancy to happen."},{"startTime":1777.6019999999999,"endTime":1779.1319999999998,"body":"It's not something"},{"startTime":1777.6019999999999,"endTime":1779.1319999999998,"body":"you can force."},{"startTime":1779.6509999999998,"endTime":1780.6409999999998,"body":"Similar in some ways."},{"startTime":1780.6409999999998,"endTime":1782.561,"body":"I think they're not perhaps"},{"startTime":1780.6409999999998,"endTime":1782.561,"body":"exactly the same as when"},{"startTime":1782.561,"endTime":1784.691,"body":"we're trying to sleep"},{"startTime":1782.561,"endTime":1784.691,"body":"and if we can't sleep."},{"startTime":1784.691,"endTime":1787.3909999999998,"body":"And, and, you know, I, I"},{"startTime":1784.691,"endTime":1787.3909999999998,"body":"think most people have had"},{"startTime":1787.3909999999998,"endTime":1789.4009999999998,"body":"that experience at some"},{"startTime":1787.3909999999998,"endTime":1789.4009999999998,"body":"point in their lives of"},{"startTime":1789.6979999999999,"endTime":1792.008,"body":"having trouble sleeping and"},{"startTime":1789.6979999999999,"endTime":1792.008,"body":"really trying hard to sleep."},{"startTime":1792.008,"endTime":1794.078,"body":"And the more you try it"},{"startTime":1792.008,"endTime":1794.078,"body":"harder and harder, the"},{"startTime":1794.078,"endTime":1796.778,"body":"further sleep goes away"},{"startTime":1794.078,"endTime":1796.778,"body":"from you because actually"},{"startTime":1796.778,"endTime":1799.268,"body":"who can sleep when they're"},{"startTime":1796.778,"endTime":1799.268,"body":"really stressed and tense?"},{"startTime":1799.628,"endTime":1802.788,"body":"There is a famous story from"},{"startTime":1799.628,"endTime":1802.788,"body":"probably the most famous"},{"startTime":1802.788,"endTime":1804.051,"body":"hypnotherapist, Milton"},{"startTime":1804.308,"endTime":1805.2379999999998,"body":"You naughty lady."},{"startTime":1805.388,"endTime":1806.648,"body":"I know what you're"},{"startTime":1805.388,"endTime":1806.648,"body":"going to say."},{"startTime":1806.7179999999998,"endTime":1807.7379999999998,"body":"But I'm not going to say it."},{"startTime":1807.7379999999998,"endTime":1809.808,"body":"I'm going describe the story."},{"startTime":1809.888,"endTime":1810.608,"body":"bleep it out."},{"startTime":1811.0649999999998,"endTime":1813.905,"body":"No, I'm not going to say"},{"startTime":1811.0649999999998,"endTime":1813.905,"body":"it, but, cause I don't"},{"startTime":1813.905,"endTime":1816.125,"body":"need to say it, but his."},{"startTime":1816.82,"endTime":1818.29,"body":"Milton Erickson,"},{"startTime":1816.82,"endTime":1818.29,"body":"did I say his name?"},{"startTime":1818.53,"endTime":1819.3999999999999,"body":"Milton Erickson."},{"startTime":1819.7,"endTime":1822.1,"body":"He had a couple who were"},{"startTime":1819.7,"endTime":1822.1,"body":"coming to him because they"},{"startTime":1822.1,"endTime":1825.1299999999999,"body":"were not able to conceive,"},{"startTime":1822.1,"endTime":1825.1299999999999,"body":"and basically he, he did"},{"startTime":1825.1299999999999,"endTime":1827.05,"body":"exactly what we've just"},{"startTime":1825.1299999999999,"endTime":1827.05,"body":"been saying and sort of"},{"startTime":1827.47,"endTime":1832.23,"body":"go back to enjoying the"},{"startTime":1827.47,"endTime":1832.23,"body":"activity that leads to the"},{"startTime":1832.23,"endTime":1834.97,"body":"production of a baby and"},{"startTime":1832.23,"endTime":1834.97,"body":"not feel it as a chore."},{"startTime":1835.6299999999999,"endTime":1838.84,"body":"But he did use a particular"},{"startTime":1835.6299999999999,"endTime":1838.84,"body":"word that I'm not gonna say."},{"startTime":1839.665,"endTime":1843.415,"body":"Yeah, a little unethical if"},{"startTime":1839.665,"endTime":1843.415,"body":"you ask me what he did at"},{"startTime":1843.415,"endTime":1846.595,"body":"the time, and I know this"},{"startTime":1843.415,"endTime":1846.595,"body":"was the fifties, sixties, so"},{"startTime":1846.7,"endTime":1848.9199999999998,"body":"And do we actually"},{"startTime":1846.7,"endTime":1848.9199999999998,"body":"know that he did do it?"},{"startTime":1848.9199999999998,"endTime":1852.4299999999998,"body":"It might just be a story"},{"startTime":1848.9199999999998,"endTime":1852.4299999999998,"body":"because, but the, but"},{"startTime":1852.4299999999998,"endTime":1857.56,"body":"the premise of just"},{"startTime":1852.4299999999998,"endTime":1857.56,"body":"doing that for fun, to"},{"startTime":1857.56,"endTime":1858.99,"body":"take that pressure away."},{"startTime":1859.6899999999998,"endTime":1860.1399999999999,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1860.58,"endTime":1862.47,"body":"Yeah, I think that's"},{"startTime":1860.58,"endTime":1862.47,"body":"exactly right."},{"startTime":1862.52,"endTime":1865.965,"body":"And I did see some stats at"},{"startTime":1862.52,"endTime":1865.965,"body":"some point that seem to show"},{"startTime":1865.965,"endTime":1869.325,"body":"pregnancy is more likely the"},{"startTime":1865.965,"endTime":1869.325,"body":"new partner than familiar one."},{"startTime":1869.735,"endTime":1871.317,"body":"And, and you know, so"},{"startTime":1871.317,"endTime":1871.887,"body":"that could be"},{"startTime":1871.887,"endTime":1872.2169999999999,"body":"something."},{"startTime":1872.232,"endTime":1873.3719999999998,"body":"the spice of life."},{"startTime":1873.402,"endTime":1875.712,"body":"Yes, perhaps a"},{"startTime":1873.402,"endTime":1875.712,"body":"bit more exciting."},{"startTime":1875.712,"endTime":1879.282,"body":"There's some variety and of"},{"startTime":1875.712,"endTime":1879.282,"body":"course when you are trying to"},{"startTime":1879.282,"endTime":1882.312,"body":"conceive and, and it's taking"},{"startTime":1879.282,"endTime":1882.312,"body":"a while, it's the, you know,"},{"startTime":1882.317,"endTime":1884.982,"body":"a lot of pressure builds up"},{"startTime":1882.317,"endTime":1884.982,"body":"around that time of the month"},{"startTime":1884.982,"endTime":1887.712,"body":"and which is why, I guess"},{"startTime":1884.982,"endTime":1887.712,"body":"the official recommendation"},{"startTime":1887.742,"endTime":1888.542,"body":"you know, usually is."},{"startTime":1888.822,"endTime":1892.3319999999999,"body":"To is to not to time sex"},{"startTime":1888.822,"endTime":1892.3319999999999,"body":"during the, the cycle,"},{"startTime":1892.3319999999999,"endTime":1895.317,"body":"but, you know, we've got"},{"startTime":1892.3319999999999,"endTime":1895.317,"body":"busy lives and you know,"},{"startTime":1895.317,"endTime":1896.367,"body":"it's not always possible."},{"startTime":1896.397,"endTime":1899.4569999999999,"body":"So there can be a lot riding"},{"startTime":1896.397,"endTime":1899.4569999999999,"body":"on that fertile window, which"},{"startTime":1899.4569999999999,"endTime":1902.607,"body":"does rather take the enjoyment"},{"startTime":1899.4569999999999,"endTime":1902.607,"body":"out of it and the, and the fun"},{"startTime":1902.6119999999999,"endTime":1906.087,"body":"and the spontaneity, and then,"},{"startTime":1902.6119999999999,"endTime":1906.087,"body":"there there can be problems,"},{"startTime":1906.087,"endTime":1908.2079999999999,"body":"you know, with erectile"},{"startTime":1906.087,"endTime":1908.2079999999999,"body":"dysfunction at that, point."},{"startTime":1908.213,"endTime":1909.768,"body":"It's just so much pressure."},{"startTime":1910.348,"endTime":1913.498,"body":"And people have lost that"},{"startTime":1910.348,"endTime":1913.498,"body":"sense of fun and connection"},{"startTime":1913.498,"endTime":1916.918,"body":"and just intimacy and,"},{"startTime":1913.498,"endTime":1916.918,"body":"you know, it being part of"},{"startTime":1916.918,"endTime":1918.778,"body":"the relationship between"},{"startTime":1916.918,"endTime":1918.778,"body":"the two of you, it just"},{"startTime":1918.783,"endTime":1921.378,"body":"becomes very functional"},{"startTime":1918.783,"endTime":1921.378,"body":"for, for baby making."},{"startTime":1921.638,"endTime":1921.858,"body":"So,"},{"startTime":1922.558,"endTime":1923.038,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1923.068,"endTime":1923.4279999999999,"body":"yeah."},{"startTime":1924.4479999999999,"endTime":1926.818,"body":"Well thank you very"},{"startTime":1924.4479999999999,"endTime":1926.818,"body":"much, Lauren for joining"},{"startTime":1926.818,"endTime":1929.307,"body":"us today here on the"},{"startTime":1926.818,"endTime":1929.307,"body":"Therapy Natters podcast."},{"startTime":1930.107,"endTime":1933.4969999999998,"body":"Is there anything you wanted"},{"startTime":1930.107,"endTime":1933.4969999999998,"body":"to add on before we sign"},{"startTime":1933.4969999999998,"endTime":1934.367,"body":"off and wave everybody?"},{"startTime":1934.367,"endTime":1934.637,"body":"Goodbye."},{"startTime":1935.037,"endTime":1937.197,"body":"I, I don't think so, other"},{"startTime":1935.037,"endTime":1937.197,"body":"than to say thank you very"},{"startTime":1937.197,"endTime":1940.137,"body":"much to both of you for"},{"startTime":1937.197,"endTime":1940.137,"body":"inviting me on and, and just"},{"startTime":1940.137,"endTime":1942.807,"body":"ask, I guess, well, perhaps"},{"startTime":1940.137,"endTime":1942.807,"body":"one thing to say is to anyone"},{"startTime":1942.807,"endTime":1945.9669999999999,"body":"who is struggling you know,"},{"startTime":1942.807,"endTime":1945.9669999999999,"body":"with, with the sort of process"},{"startTime":1945.9669999999999,"endTime":1948.7169999999999,"body":"of conceiving just to say,"},{"startTime":1945.9669999999999,"endTime":1948.7169999999999,"body":"you know, there is support out"},{"startTime":1948.7169999999999,"endTime":1951.2569999999998,"body":"there for you psychologically"},{"startTime":1948.7169999999999,"endTime":1951.2569999999998,"body":"and emotionally."},{"startTime":1951.5069999999998,"endTime":1953.697,"body":"There are, you know,"},{"startTime":1951.5069999999998,"endTime":1953.697,"body":"therapists who specialize in"},{"startTime":1953.702,"endTime":1957.6209999999999,"body":"this area who,  are used to"},{"startTime":1953.702,"endTime":1957.6209999999999,"body":"working with women and men"},{"startTime":1957.6209999999999,"endTime":1958.8509999999999,"body":"and couples going through it."},{"startTime":1958.8509999999999,"endTime":1961.8609999999999,"body":"So, It's always worth, I think"},{"startTime":1958.8509999999999,"endTime":1961.8609999999999,"body":"if you feel you'd benefit"},{"startTime":1961.8609999999999,"endTime":1965.099,"body":"from professional support"},{"startTime":1961.8609999999999,"endTime":1965.099,"body":"from making some inquiries and"},{"startTime":1965.099,"endTime":1968.039,"body":"seeking that out, and it can"},{"startTime":1965.099,"endTime":1968.039,"body":"really make a difference to"},{"startTime":1968.039,"endTime":1969.749,"body":"how you get through that time."},{"startTime":1970.704,"endTime":1971.244,"body":"Wonderful."},{"startTime":1971.454,"endTime":1972.5639999999999,"body":"Thank you so much."},{"startTime":1972.854,"endTime":1974.444,"body":"Thank you for"},{"startTime":1972.854,"endTime":1974.444,"body":"nattering with us."},{"startTime":1974.656,"endTime":1975.646,"body":"It's been a pleasure."},{"startTime":1975.6509999999998,"endTime":1976.606,"body":"Thank you so much."},{"startTime":1976.606,"endTime":1977.2369999999999,"body":"Really enjoyed it."},{"startTime":1978.031,"endTime":1979.4109999999998,"body":"Thank you for"},{"startTime":1978.031,"endTime":1979.4109999999998,"body":"coming on, right."},{"startTime":1979.471,"endTime":1981.571,"body":"We'll love you and leave"},{"startTime":1979.471,"endTime":1981.571,"body":"you all for another week."},{"startTime":1981.6609999999998,"endTime":1984.571,"body":"As always, there's a link"},{"startTime":1981.6609999999998,"endTime":1984.571,"body":"in the episode description"},{"startTime":1984.6609999999998,"endTime":1987.091,"body":"where you can go to a"},{"startTime":1984.6609999999998,"endTime":1987.091,"body":"website, fill in a form,"},{"startTime":1987.091,"endTime":1988.291,"body":"give us a topic idea."},{"startTime":1988.321,"endTime":1990.6309999999999,"body":"If there's a question"},{"startTime":1988.321,"endTime":1990.6309999999999,"body":"you've got, fire away."},{"startTime":1990.781,"endTime":1992.341,"body":"We'd love to hear from you."},{"startTime":1992.6109999999999,"endTime":1993.781,"body":"Have a super-duper week."},{"startTime":1993.841,"endTime":1995.731,"body":"If you need anything,"},{"startTime":1993.841,"endTime":1995.731,"body":"you know where we are."},{"startTime":1996.3909999999998,"endTime":1997.231,"body":"See ya."},{"startTime":1997.841,"endTime":1998.281,"body":"Bye"},{"startTime":1998.856,"endTime":1999.076,"body":"Bye."}]}