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Spill The TEA
If you missed your initiation into womanhood, you’re not alone. Truth tellers spill the tea about the misguided trappings of what it means to be a woman. Listen in as they tackle the myths and realities of being a daughter, sister, mother, wife, and friend. Find a sense of community and inspiration with these podcast creatives. You are bound to recognize yourself in their collective experiences.
Spill The TEA
Self-Care Rising Rituals: From Morning Yoga to Garden Therapy
What does genuine self-care look like in an age of commercialized wellness and non-stop demands? Our conversation with rewilding retreat alumna Ave reveals it's far more than bubble baths and face masks—it's about creating sustainable rituals that honor your body's wisdom and protect your precious energy.
We dive deep into morning routines that set our days on the right track. From Brooke's transformative 15-minute yoga practice to Ave's cold water plunges and Kundalini stretches, these intentional start-ups don't need to be lengthy to be effective. The key isn't complexity but consistency—finding what grounds you and making it accessible enough to practice daily. As Ave shares, "Part of my morning routine and part of self-care is to be in a place where it's easy to feel my body's wisdom."
The conversation takes a fascinating turn as we explore how protecting our attention has become essential self-care. Digital boundaries, saying no to what doesn't deeply resonate, and Ave's refreshingly direct "no assholes" policy all reflect a deeper truth: self-care often looks like permission to honor your authentic needs. One powerful framework that emerged is "if it's not a hell yes, it's a hell no"—a simple but revolutionary approach to decision-making that honors your intuition.
We also unpack how nourishment affects our well-being, with practical insights on reducing sugar dependency, embracing plant-based options, and the therapeutic joy of gardening. From rainbow chard to hibiscus mocktails, participants share creative alternatives that make healthy choices feel like abundance rather than restriction. As Ave beautifully articulates, gardening isn't just about food—it's therapy that recalibrates your nervous system while connecting you to ancient human practices.
What's your non-negotiable self-care practice? Whether it's Tracy's dedicated hairstylist trips, Eryn's essential decompression time after work, or Brooke's sacred early mornings, we all need rituals that sustain us. Listen in and be inspired to craft your own sustainable self-care practice—one that truly rises to meet your authentic needs.
Join us this fall at the 2025 Women Rise Retreat. More information at www.growingwithtea.com.
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before we start Hi, ave, hi, I miss you.
Speaker 2:I think that's a great start, so I'm going to jump right in. So welcome back to Spill the Tea. We are still on the journey, talking about rising, which is going to be the theme of our next retreat, and this episode. We're talking about self-care routines mental, physical, emotional. Perhaps we might get into all of those. We might not. And we have a new friend here with us, our friend Ave, who was a guest at our rewilding retreat and who I think maybe taught us all a little something about self-care. So we're so happy to have you here with us. So welcome, ave.
Speaker 3:Thank you, hello. Yes, I have been rewilded by the tea sisters.
Speaker 4:I love that as a verb.
Speaker 2:So does anyone have like a really great self-care routine that they do daily, like I do this one thing every day for myself, regardless?
Speaker 1:So I actually do a self-care routine that I have implemented into my everyday life. That I do is yoga. With getting my new job it was really hard to fit it in my routine because with my new job I'm not waking up at 6 am before getting yoga in. I'm not waking up at 6 am before getting yoga in, so I just do a very quick 10 to 15 minute morning stretch to start my day. Now I'm waking up at about 545. But I have noticed a drastic change in my mood, in my work productivity throughout the day. It's a really good self-care thing, that I've implemented.
Speaker 4:Good for you. That is good, brooke. I started making my bed. I think I talked about that on the podcast a couple of probably six or eight months ago and I'm still making my bed. Mary, check, I'm very proud of you, thank you. I think my coffee in the morning is part of my self-care, because it is where I get ready for my day. So, though I don't think that other people might think coffee is, I've elevated my coffee, so it's really good coffee, and I don't use, like the sweetener creamer anymore. I just use half and half, which is a big thing for me use half and half which is a big thing for me.
Speaker 3:Yeah, if it's ritualized, I think that's for me the biggest part.
Speaker 3:It doesn't necessarily matter so much what it is, and I've actually worked for many years on getting my morning practice to a place where it's doable in like 15 minutes because I have to be able to do it every day. Right, like low barrier, and it sets me in the right place for the day and so you know weather depending, it's like getting the sun on my face. So, like when I lived in an apartment in LA, I would literally just like open the door because I couldn't really go outside. But recently I'm doing there's a hill nearby and I walk up the hill so I get my incline and I do my little Kundalini stretches and breath and do a little meditation and prayer and just like set my intention for the day and same like just having that drastically improves my mood and reminds me of my purpose for the day. So I don't get so hung up on details. And, yeah, often I'll jump in a cold bottle of water as well if one is nearby or I can, and that's kind of like my coffee, it's me.
Speaker 2:Get you centered and ready for the day. Yeah, I was thinking one of the things I've been doing recently is, like a small step towards a better morning routine is I've been getting up at 5 am and really it's just so I can get myself together for the day, like get all the thoughts thought, get the list together. Like these are the things. Like get all the thoughts thought, get the list together. Like these are the things I want to get done, and not just I just hate being rushed in the morning, like getting up late before you know, rushing to get dressed, to get ready for work, all the things. And I've just been slowing down my morning so that it's more intentional and I can kind of roll into my day like like not in a whirlwind, like I'm here, I'm ready to work, you know all those things. So that's just something I was thinking I've been trying to do. I don't know if that's where that falls in, but it feels like a good start to something more perhaps.
Speaker 5:I get up 10 minutes before you. Then I get up at four, 50 and, just like Brooke, I do yoga and it's usually a 20 minute or half an hour and I get up the extra 10 minutes because I added doing the beamer for 10 minutes in the morning, and so that's how I made that fit in. I got up get up 10 minutes earlier.
Speaker 4:You got to stop because people are going to think that's a car. Explain what the beamer is.
Speaker 5:Oh the beamer is. It helps with your blood circulation. It is a pulsed electromagnetic field and I don't know what the science is behind it. It opens your blood vessels so that it increases your circulation. They actually use the technology on horses on performance horses to improve. It's also for athletes to recover quicker. Their muscles recover quicker when you increase circulation. So the product is called Beamer, so we call it doing the Beamer. So we lay on a mat and do that for eight minutes, but then I'm off to the races to get ready for work. So I've got it packed in, and so yours sounds so much more pleasant, Carrie. It sounds like you've got time to think, and otherwise I do not. As we discussed last time, I've already picked out my clothes the night before so that I have more time to get myself ready and walk the dog. And even though I have to walk the dog, I also get to walk the dog and I usually see the sunrise, I'm out in nature and all the weather, and so I really like that as part of my routine.
Speaker 6:I love that, mary. I was going to add my self-care routine that I picked up after grad school. I think I've talked about it on the podcast before. But reading for pleasure it wasn't something that I did during school because I didn't have time to, so now being able to read my you know books about whatever I'd like is amazing. Right now I'm reading John Green's Everything is Tuberculosis, which isn't exactly the romantic that I usually like, but I'm in a book club and you know I work in the healthcare field, so it's very pertinent to you know my career too. So definitely recommend that one, but have access to it, otherwise if it dings or it moves.
Speaker 4:I will pick it up and then it ruins my sleep and I'm kind of in that age where sleep is. I'm struggling a little bit.
Speaker 3:I like to talk about self-care as like protecting my attention and like what I make myself available for and who has access to me, and the phone is such a big part of that.
Speaker 3:And I love like digital detox try to do that, you know, every few months or so. But yeah, just having it on silent, putting it away, not looking at it before bed, not looking at it first thing, is huge because Because if I this is my like daily struggle because I'm curious, like so curious, and also if I look at it before I do my morning routine, it changes the entire like pace of my brain. So I'm always like trying to put it down and, yeah, just in general, like saying no and only saying yes to things that are like a full body. Yes, is it's another balance, Right, Because there are things we have to do, but what are? What are the things I want to do? What's aligned with my joy and my best and highest good and all that stuff? And, yeah, just thinking of self-care, I think in a larger resilient sustainability way for myself and my mental health has been really helpful.
Speaker 2:I love what you said. I had a friend tell me this in a way that I don't know why it made a difference for me, but they said if it's not a hell yes, it's a hell no. And so anytime I was I've been on the fence. I'm like this isn't a hell yes, it's a hell no. And so anytime I was I've been on the fence, I'm like this isn't a hell yes. This is because I'm not. Oh, yes, you know I'm questioning it, and so that has been really helpful and like really feeling that in your body, because if your body is like questioning the yes, then it's probably not a hell yes, it's a hell no.
Speaker 3:That was a huge thing from our retreat was like the innate ancient wisdom of our bodies and trusting that. And I think like part of my morning routine and part of self-care is to be in a place where it's easy to feel my body's wisdom. I'm not distracted, you know, I'm not eating a bunch of sugar. I am like oh, hell yeah, or hell no, or fuck yeah, let's do it.
Speaker 4:I think that you hit on something with what you just said, too, that I've noticed when I am overloading on sugar, just how rough my day is and how my body feels like I feel achy. Not that I want to talk about like nourishment because it's all energy right.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, whether we like how we start our day, how we like have the slow burn metabolism. So I actually have my little bag I made my own trail mix and my own muesli and like bottle the seeds and nuts and fruits and stuff so that there's not stuff that my body doesn't want, and I have my little like infusions of honey, bush and different teas, so like I'll have some caffeine, you know, but only as much as I need, and then I'll have some sugar, but just what I'm needing, because otherwise I get I feel cracked out and I'm all shaky and yeah. So the the like nutrients and like having a little snack every few hours, if I can be proactive about nourishing, so I'm not like at an energy deficit at three o'clock and I have to have a cupcake, like that always happens to me with working a lot. So, yeah, I've been been trying to do all that good stuff.
Speaker 2:I was sick over Christmas and when I don't feel good, food is like my go to and I I just let myself go down this road that, I know, doesn't make me feel good, and all of a sudden I was like, oh my God, you have totally like abandoned your nutrition and feeling your body goals like completely, your body goals, like completely. And so I'm in a place right now where I'm just trying to get back on track with that, Like I know what my body needs and what it responds to and you know how I feel when I'm doing the things I should be doing, particularly around sugar. I'm trying to get back on track.
Speaker 3:Right there with you, I got really sick. It's yeah, it's just hard and I think everybody deals with this especially if you're trying to feed other people or if you're just feeding yourself alone. It's like it's challenging.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I see that a lot like with friends who are also like you know. It's usually like they're feeding other people and trying to get them on the same mindset as they are. That's so hard.
Speaker 7:Erin and Brooke, I'm really curious Are you guys understanding this, what they're saying and how like sugar is, I don't know. When I was 20, something I ate, whatever the hell I wanted to eat. I did whatever the hell I wanted to do, and now that I'm in my 50s, I am totally feeling everything that you guys are saying. And, brooke and Erin, I'm just wondering if you guys have come to that realization. Have we done better at teaching our kids this? Or are you guys like? You guys are so freaking old you can't process sugar. What is wrong with you?
Speaker 1:That's really it.
Speaker 1:I think I think honestly, at the age of 27 and within the country that we live in, we don't filter out a lot of the harmful things that are within our foods.
Speaker 1:So you go to other countries they don't deal with, like gluten allergies everybody can eat pastas and breads and not get bloated after they eat. You come to the United States, we have so many wrong things within our ingredients and I think that is attributing to me noticing things at the age of 27. And, like Ave said earlier, like one of the biggest self-care practices that I've noticed is to practice your attention to things, your self-awareness to everything, and that really comes to play with food. For me right now, after having a kid, I 100% have noticed like my metabolism slowing down and certain things that I'm eating is forcing my body to look and feel certain ways, and at the age of 27, I 100% noticed this. So right now I'm honestly on a calorie deficit diet, while I am reducing my carb intake to get my body to feel and look the way that it will help my mental health and just make me feel better overall.
Speaker 6:I'm in a similar position. I've followed a vegetarian diet for, you know, ethical and environmental reasons for the last five years, so I'm very cautious with what I put in my body. But that doesn't necessarily mean I won't eat a cupcake at 3 pm if somebody at work has them, you know, I don't want to make them feel badly.
Speaker 6:But I definitely have noticed that after cutting out not all animal products I'm vegetarian, so I eat eggs, I eat cheese I felt better. I don't know, it's just eating plant-based has given me so much more energy that I didn't have before.
Speaker 5:Hey, Erin, did you come up with the idea or did Nick?
Speaker 6:So actually my husband is an environmental scientist and he went vegetarian first, but I've always been kind of vegetarian, but not in a good way. I'm allergic to pork and I grew up on a dairy farm, so I haven't eaten beef in probably 10 plus years, just because of the emotional connections that you make with animals when you're a farmer. All I truly ate in the five to 10 year period before I went vegetarian was chicken. That was the only meat product.
Speaker 4:That was chicken that was already removed from the bone.
Speaker 6:Yeah, I wouldn't eat chicken wings, I would eat chicken breasts, so I had a. Very honestly, I feel like I had a more restricted diet then than I do now. But yes, it was my husband's idea at first and I was like, let's do it. So we both eat plant-based and Mary is a veteran in eating plant-based, so she's been a really great resource for me.
Speaker 5:Yeah, it was Carl and I were just talking yesterday about. Well specifically, it was about how supportive he is with dieting what I cook, because he eats meat, he hunts meat, he kills his own and all of that fun stuff. He still participates in the meatless diet that I have and sometimes will just cook some meat on the side, but it would make it really difficult if he just like, Carrie, what you were saying when you're cooking for other people, it's hard to stick to what works for you. And we found something that works for us and he just has to, you know, put meat in the crock pot and then he'll be fine to add it to what we're eating, but most of the time he's not eating meat. In fact, he tells my family that he's slowly becoming a vegetarian.
Speaker 6:So you know, 15 years later, Well, that brings me back to the slightly controversial thing that I did for my wedding, slightly controversial being that my husband and I are both plant-based, so we had a plant-based wedding. You know, our caterer did all vegetarian foods, for, I would say, out of the 120 people there, I think Mary was one of the only other vegetarians, but people all really enjoyed themselves and they really enjoyed the food. So it just goes to show that sometimes we just need our mind opened to other things.
Speaker 2:I thought your food at your wedding was delicious.
Speaker 4:Oh, my goodness.
Speaker 7:That cheese lasagna recipe.
Speaker 2:That was good.
Speaker 3:I love that, I feel like, as long as you're like bringing awareness and you're cooking and you're putting Michael Pollan says, eat less food, mostly plants Like it's pretty basic and I think we've overcomplicated it so much in this country, especially with health isms and coming off being sick, and I was really depressed too. So I planted a spring garden. I know I'm a little ahead of you guys, it was still snowing in Colorado or something, so but it's all coming up now and just like cooking with the stuff I'm pulling out of the garden. It's just making me so happy and I know the nutrient density is there too, because it's not traveling and all that stuff. And you know, not everybody has the privilege of planting a garden, but it's bringing me so much joy and it's making me feel so much better and so I think just the combination of the serotonin from just the dirt and like how good the vegetables are, just found myself eating a lot less crap and supplemental calories because I'm getting it from the plants.
Speaker 4:Are there social beautiful food that you post, like the vegetables? I think maybe it was the day before yesterday or, I don't know, a couple of days ago, but the really colorful it looked like colorful celery. I don't even know what it was.
Speaker 3:My rainbow chard. Yeah, what is that? The leaves are huge. So Swiss chard is a wonderful vegetable super leafy, greens, super tender, and you can eat it raw, but most people like saute it. But it comes in all these different colors and I love anything that's. You know, eat the rainbow Right In particular that one. Yeah, I make, you know, frittata. I do it with a little bit of garlic as a side for all kinds of dinners and I think you know people can struggle with collard, greens or sometimes kale, but chard is just really delicious. So if you're not, if you're not already eating a lot of chard, definitely check it out.
Speaker 4:Can we grow it here, brooke, do you know? Can we grow that here? Is that a California? We can grow it here. Yes, we can. All right, it's so pretty, I'm going to put it in, and if I don't like it, I'm just going to put it in a smoothie.
Speaker 3:I think you'll like it.
Speaker 4:Okay, it is so pretty, thank you.
Speaker 2:Ave. Is it kind of bland, though in actuality Like does it take on the flavor of other food?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think.
Speaker 2:I mean, or does it, does it have like a sharp flavor? I feel like I've had it before, but I can't remember bitterness.
Speaker 3:I think that's why I like it so much. It's kind of like like dino kale or something you know, where it just tastes vegetal but it doesn't have bitterness like yeah, or spiciness. It's really yeah, it's really kind of bland in a vegetal way yeah, okay it's an easy.
Speaker 3:It's an easy one and we do, yeah, we like fold it into pasta sauce and you know, just stick it in wherever you can. And baby chard you can definitely eat raw. It's in a lot of those like power green mixes. Now It'll be like chard and kale and different mustards and stuff like that. So, yeah, so cool.
Speaker 7:I have a question, and this isn't about self-care, but it is about the veggies that we're talking about. I don't have a lot of information on GMOs, but I see people get really, really upset one way or the other regarding GMOs. So for our people who do grow vegetable gardens and things, what do you think of GMOs? Are they healthy, are they not?
Speaker 3:healthy. I can send you some great information. So, in a nutshell, the way you genetically modify an organism is by putting code into a bacteria, into the organism, and so inherently, they're problematic. The reason they were developed it's a post-World War using of chemicals to act as pesticides and insecticides right, and these things were used as weapons, and so it really was a market for post-industrialization in agriculture, which it's inappropriate, right. It's not really the best way to control insects. So GMOs are kind of the way these companies continue to patent and come up with things that they could sell.
Speaker 3:So I would say hard no on GMOs and like pay attention. When you're at the nursery you can get organic starts or you can get sort of conventional starts and they're just not labeled. So look for organic, find your local farmer who's growing chard and those vegetables that grow near you, because they're just going to be more delicious and better quality, and then you're not going to have sort of the resistances to different things In biodiversity. Plants adapt to the climate and the micro region themselves anyway, so we really don't need them. And yeah, I would just say keep it local, keep it organic, and it's always more delicious that way too.
Speaker 7:Awesome. Thank you very much for that.
Speaker 3:Are you a fan of heirloom, then yeah big time and I have my seed catalog, seed Savers Exchange. You can start a seed library. So you guys know I'm a food systems person so I can give you like a TED talk right now. But, uh, yeah, definitely heirloom varieties. They're just more delicious and you get a lot of like purple things and, uh, like I just had purple asparagus from my farmer, um, and the flavor is just there because it's not hybrid and it's, you know, developed year after year, with humans as stewards and like as like rewilding being a human self-care, like what does that mean? To me? It's like being part of my ecosystem, being part of my environment, right, and like we co-evolved with plants. So what does that look like? Like beautiful, delicious things that we've been doing and we don't need, you know, chemical companies helping us do that.
Speaker 2:Nice, I feel, inspired to have a garden.
Speaker 4:We just started our garden and I have to say there was this big discussion at our place about to wear gloves or not to wear gloves. And I grew up on a farm and I don't wear gloves. And the reason I don't wear gloves is because you get, is because I'm getting nutrients from the soil. I'm like maybe I made that up, but I feel better and I like to touch the dirt.
Speaker 1:There's also negative ions that are released from the dirt that help ground you and stabilize your homeostasis. So by getting your hands and feet, into the dirt.
Speaker 2:You are recalibrating your nervous system, everything in your body so we probably that's why I like it so I just had a thought maybe we should build uh or talk about at the retreat, like how to start your own garden. I would love to do a workshop like even how to, like, make a raised bed or something.
Speaker 3:Yeah, gorilla gardening yeah, that's good and, like brooke said, so, there are studies that show that being in contact with dirt releases serotonin, like proven um earthing right, the way that you ground, so like if you're out barefoot in the garden, like we do um garden as therapy, it's like art therapy, right. You people absolutely feel better just being out there and there's tons of data to support that I'm gonna, I'm gonna do something definitely wash your hands and feet.
Speaker 1:I mean hookworms and things like that. 100% are a thing.
Speaker 6:I know I'm over here like yeah.
Speaker 4:I wash my hands and feet and I'm up to date on my shots the dog.
Speaker 3:You need any resources. Carry for your, for your class, just reach out.
Speaker 2:I will.
Speaker 4:I think, oh, they need an instructor, ave, we don't need resources. How to build a?
Speaker 3:raised bed you make lasagna. Actually it's really cute.
Speaker 2:I'm going to send you some photos. I've got an idea, Ave. I've got something started out there that I think I could turn into a small vegetable garden.
Speaker 5:Yes, awesome, is it your hot tub?
Speaker 2:No, but that's not a bad idea. That's what I'm thinking.
Speaker 6:That irrigation system would go crazy.
Speaker 2:Not like a set of things that look like stairs, except it's supposed to be a flower bed or something. But I think I could turn it into a little vegetable garden. I'll send you photos, we'll talk. Do you have a non-negotiable when it comes to your own self-care? Yes, there is one that I have.
Speaker 4:I drive an hour and a half to get my hair done by a specific person because it is part of my self-care and I could find somebody in this area to do my hair. But there is the going down to where she is, the person that she is, how much care and time she puts into making sure I feel better when I leave, like mentally, physically, all the things that it is worth every time I go down. So that is a non-negotiable for me. I'll be going down when I'm 70.
Speaker 7:I don't know if it's a self-care thing, but I do drink Zipfizz every morning. Okay, what is ZipFizz? It comes in a little tube and you pour it into a bottle of water and shake it up and drink it. My brother turned me on to it. He's a hockey player and it would give him the energy he needed before a game and I used to be really dead tired in the middle of the day. I would just want to lay down and take a nap, no matter where I was, but I find if I take ZipFizz then I get through the day. It's got tons of vitamin B12.
Speaker 2:And does it have caffeine?
Speaker 7:in it. Is it like an electrolyte packet? It's. It's. I don't know if it's like. If it's like electrolyte I don't know what that one is, but it's. It does have, I think, a little bit of caffeine, but not a lot. It doesn't have any sugar. I just I feel better when I take it and it's got like a bunch of stuff to help you keep from getting sick and I love it, like I love Celsius, which is also full of B vitamins, but it's also full of a lot of caffeine.
Speaker 7:Oh really, this one I don't think has a lot. In fact, I didn't think it had any caffeine and I think I was mistakenly telling people for a while that it didn't, but it has a small amount.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, caffeine is one of those things. Like I, I like caffeine, but I I'm always telling myself, like you have too much caffeine, but I still haven't found a way to cut it out. Like I, it's a vice.
Speaker 7:I understand. I like that stuff so much I bought there's like 20 tubes in a pack. I bought a pack to give away to clients because, like inevitably at least once a day I hear, I'm always so tired in the middle of the day. Here, try one of these. But when we had that break in, they stole all my zip fizz. They left the box there but they took all the tubes. Somebody broke into your office and took your zip fizz yes, they took my pants.
Speaker 7:I didn't tell you guys about this no, like all the protein shakes, they took all the chocolate out of my candy dish.
Speaker 4:That's mean I'm like it's me, don break in, but then take somebody's candy.
Speaker 7:I'm sure they were hungry. They found evidence of people squatting in another part of the building, so I'm sure that they were hungry. Okay, I left them a note in case they broke in again, letting them know where, like the homeless, shelter was and the food pantries.
Speaker 4:Oh, Judy, you're so sweet.
Speaker 6:This episode is sponsored by ZipFizz.
Speaker 4:It's a non-GMO.
Speaker 7:And the food pantry of Oleon, New York and Seed Savers Exchange, oh goodness.
Speaker 2:So I do want to share something with you guys, because I said I hadn't figured out the caffeine thing, but I've had some attempts at it and I want to share what has worked best for me in the area of caffeine. I like soda and fizzy drinks, so I did start drinking sparkling water. I think I just like the fizz, it's not so much the drink, it's the bubbly stuff that I think I might like the fizz, it's not so much the drink.
Speaker 4:It's the like bubbly stuff that I think I might actually be addicted to. That's awesome.
Speaker 3:I got the CO2 machine and that's actually. I quit sugar many times but I'm back on the sugar, but I have weaned way down and part of that was the sugary drinks and so I'll make like a hibiscus infusion or get some tart cherry juice or something you know and then put a splash of that in my sparkling water and make like a little my own soda type thing, a little fancy drink.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like you can be out at a party and everything too, and not drink alcohol and just have like a mocktail, you know, and it's yeah, it's been really good it probably tastes way better than the alcohol.
Speaker 2:Anyway, I like it.
Speaker 5:I brew tea for carl and I do hibiscus tea. So I told him this is better for you, you should do this. And so now he does. I would say that yoga for me is a non-negotiable. In the morning it falls apart on the weekends. Saturday and Sunday I'm like out of the routine, but Monday through Friday I do that. And you know, of course, fell in love with yoga with Adrian. You know, so much so that Tracy and I came to, went to Toronto to see her live. So love yoga with Adrian and I was doing her YouTube you know, watching through YouTube for so long that I thought, you know, I'm going to start paying for her, for her subscription, because you know she deserves that. I should pay her for that rather than just watching her YouTube videos. So I do that. I've been paying that for a year, about a year and a half now.
Speaker 4:Mary, do you want to hear something cool with our podcast?
Speaker 5:I do.
Speaker 4:People can subscribe if they want to contribute to the podcast whoa yeah, isn't that cool. You have to go to buzzsprout to do it people should do that people should we're?
Speaker 5:worth it. Is it a paid subscription or just you can?
Speaker 4:no, you can't just like subscription and then it's like a.
Speaker 3:You can volunteer if you want to give three dollars towards it or five dollars towards it my non-negotiable is I have to get in a body of water, preferably the ocean, sometimes a lake, like you all saw. And uh, even if I'm like landlocked, I'll like make deals with myself that I'll go every other weekend or whatever, which is kind of what I'm doing right now. Just my body loves it. The ions I just got to, I just got to get in polar plunge or whatever, and the other one is no assholes.
Speaker 3:So, like I really really go out of my way to not be around like bigots or people with just anger issues or you know just like I can feel it walking in. I will excuse myself, I'll do what I like, working on those boundaries, to really just be around people that are at least aware, if not make me feel good and that's been huge, just like hashtag no assholes I love it.
Speaker 6:Let's start a movement I'm so down for that I also don't enjoy the presence of assholes, um, but for me, I am somebody who I guess my non-negotiable is a moment to myself each day, because I'm in a profession where you give a lot and it's hard for me to continue to give without grounding myself and, you know, giving myself the time to process things that have happened throughout the day. When I come home from work, that's my time. I'll either read or just, you know, relax, play with my dogs. That's kind of my non-negotiable in my daily life.
Speaker 2:So, erin, I just have to ask, since I live by myself and you're married and have a husband there, does he know you need that time? Like does he just give it to you, or do you have to say?
Speaker 6:like today's the day I need the time. Yeah, so he's completely aware. We've definitely had conversations about how, you know, I just need that time when I get home. You know, even like 20 minutes to just unwind. It's not that I don't want to talk. Right, you want to talk from a good place where your work is unraveled. Right, right, absolutely. And you know he's super supportive of that, but he works from home a lot, so I get home and he's like, hey, how?
Speaker 7:are you?
Speaker 6:I'm good, I'm gonna go sit and read my book for a little bit.
Speaker 4:When the kids were younger I was probably in my late twenties I had a hard time when I would pick them up from school. From that time I didn't realize how much that I needed that time from work to the house to decompress and switch my mindsets from one venue to the next. And when I would pick them up from school, I just felt like I was getting more and more wound up and I was not being the best parent that I could be. I was just like I was so stressed in those car rides that I remember really having to tell them that I need quiet. Don't ask me what's for dinner.
Speaker 6:I need quiet. Don't ask me what's for dinner.
Speaker 4:Oh, I remember that well, and it's probably where I get it from, just knowing that I need that time. Yeah, yeah, I completely feel that, and it was the transition from one place to the next. I just needed time for my body and brain to adjust.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I would say, non-negotiable for me is my routine that I have for myself at the end of the day, being a single mom, I normally am in the habit of after I get my son to bed. I have a good like hour, hour and a half chunk that I can just do whatever to decompress before I have to go to bed and restart the next day. So that hour and a half time is kind of like Aaron's time right after work. It's just that little bit of time I have to go to bed and, you know, restart the next day. So that hour and a half time is kind of like Aaron's time right after work. It's just that little bit of time I have to myself to get my thoughts in check, pull myself down so I can get ready for bed and yeah, it's very important.
Speaker 2:So, as you guys were talking, I was thinking sometimes part of self-care is I have to reach out to people because I do live by myself. So, like even yesterday, it was well, it was Easter and my son had called me earlier in the week and he was like, are we doing anything for Easter? And he's 25. And I was like, did you want an Easter basket? Like I just hadn't planned anything, it was just the two of us. And I was like, did you want an Easter basket? Like I just hadn't planned anything, it was just the two of us. And he was like no, so he was just checking to make sure I didn't want anything.
Speaker 2:But anyway, I got to the end of the day yesterday and I thought, oh my God, I haven't talked to anyone all day, not a single person. And so I thought, oh, I'll try to call my aunt. And then I remembered it was Easter and she was probably busy. So I texted her and I thought that's so weird, I haven't talked to anyone all day, like I was just full of all these thoughts. But then at like 930, my son did call me and check in with me, so he did end up talking to someone, but it was just a kind of a reminder that sometimes I have to be the one that reaches out to people.
Speaker 6:I'm still jarred by the fact that Forrest is 25. The way you just said that, even though I myself am 25 too, it just I wrote happy 21st birthday. Today is my brother's birthday. I wrote in his card happy 21st birthday. He turned 24. Apparently I'm a couple of years behind when you get older.
Speaker 4:sometimes if you have to write the date, like once, I don't know, a couple of months ago, I wrote 2015. I don't know why. Wasn't even that cool of a year.
Speaker 2:Do any of you guys do any sort of special self-care around your birthday? Do you feel like you need it?
Speaker 4:Those are two separate questions.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm asking because I feel like there's always this expectation of birthdays, like I don't know what it is, and there's's like this. It's like an outer thing to me, but I feel, like other people, kind of like I don't know how to explain it like.
Speaker 6:I'm okay doing nothing on my birthday. I know exactly what you're talking about. People are like what are you doing for your birthday? I'm like, um yeah.
Speaker 1:Because I don't know, it's my whole birth week and I'm like, what do you mean birth week?
Speaker 2:That sounds horrible to me. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 4:I met a girl a couple weeks ago. She was talking about it being her golden birthday month. I don't even know what that means. She's far younger than I am, so because golden seems like like 60 or something, I don't know, sounds like my kind of birthday.
Speaker 1:I think it's her golden birthday. So, if I was born on the 16th, my golden birthday, I think, it is when I'm 16 years old. So if you were born on the 21st, your golden birthday would be when you're 21 years old.
Speaker 4:Oh.
Speaker 1:I'm not sure, though Don't hold me to that.
Speaker 6:Mom, when you turn 30, I had a birthday party when I was three and I'm really disappointed.
Speaker 4:You just don't remember.
Speaker 5:So, carrie, to answer your question, last year, when I turned 50, cause I thought, well, it's kind of a big deal birthday I took the day off. And just so you know I'm going to continue to do this because it felt so magical to me that I took the day off. It was a random Thursday and I said I'm not doing anything. That was my whole purpose. Even Carl said hey, when you're off, could you call? I said I'm not doing anything. That was my whole purpose. Even Carl said hey, when you're off, could you call? I said no, no.
Speaker 5:I don't understand, I'm not doing anything. I don't want to even cook for myself, but I will get something to eat. But I'm not doing any of it. And so I, you know, read a book out by the pond, walk the dog. Just, it was a whole lot of nothing, but it was a whole lot of something.
Speaker 7:Oh, I love that. Love that I used to get a massage on my birthday.
Speaker 2:Yes, I used to give my mom flowers on my birthday. I used to do that too At some point I thought she did all the work, like, yeah, thanks, mom. She really had to do some stuff for me to be here.
Speaker 4:We have birthdays wrong. It's the honor of her.
Speaker 7:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I think that that would be a better form of Mother's Day.
Speaker 5:Honestly, hey Carrie.
Speaker 4:I'm doing something really cool this week for my birthday. Not this week, it's next week. Jody, your birthday's next week, right? Yes I'm gonna be in germany and we're gonna be in salzburg and we are going to a cooking class where we're going to be making pretzels and a soprano is going to be singing while we bake.
Speaker 7:I'm so excited. That's very cool.
Speaker 2:I hope you enjoy it.
Speaker 4:That'll be cool, take a lot of pictures. I can't even wait. I'm trying to figure out what to wear.
Speaker 5:What should I wear to something right now? Well, you need to wear a dirndl.
Speaker 4:We're going to go buy one.
Speaker 3:We are going to go buy dirndl.
Speaker 4:We're going to go buy one. We are going to go buy dirndl and lederhosen.
Speaker 6:How will you ever top this birthday? If I'm going to ask you what you want to do next year for your birthday. Well, it's never going to top Germany.
Speaker 7:Unless you celebrate in a different country every year. That would be amazing.
Speaker 5:Tracy, if there's any phone books still lying around, just look up some golden shoes and see what you find, okay all right.
Speaker 2:So we always wrap up the podcast with how to make tea so trace.
Speaker 4:I usually throw it to you, but I would love it if I came up with something. What do you think our listeners should do this year for self-care, this year, this week, holy?
Speaker 3:cow how to make tea. I am calling in Adrian, marie Brown and pleasure activism, and this week your self-care assignment is pleasure, and it doesn't necessarily have to be erotic pleasure. What brings you pleasure? Joy, giddiness, laughter, silliness, call a friend, laugh, run naked through the woods, paint, scream, sing in your bath or shower, whatever.
Speaker 4:Kick ass.
Speaker 5:That's a long list of things to do.
Speaker 4:Choose your tea.
Speaker 2:That was great, thank you.
Speaker 5:Awesome.
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