One Tired Teacher
One Tired Teacher
OTT 245: Building Confidence: Transforming Your Child's Reading Identity
What if your child's biggest reading obstacle isn't their skills, but their belief about themselves as readers?
Many children struggle with reading not because they lack the fundamental abilities, but because they've developed a negative reading identity. When kids say "I'm not good at reading" or "books aren't my thing," they're revealing something profound about how they see themselves in relation to text. This identity shapes everything—their willingness to try, their persistence through challenges, and ultimately, their reading success.
This episode dives deep into three transformative strategies that rebuild a child's reading confidence from the inside out. First, we explore the surprising power of genuine book choice—why letting children select anything that excites them (yes, even those "too easy" graphic novels or Minecraft manuals!) creates the autonomy essential for developing reader identity. You'll hear a poignant bookstore story that demonstrates how well-meaning adults can inadvertently crush a child's reading enthusiasm, and learn how to create a "Yes Shelf" that rebuilds reading confidence through easy wins.
We also challenge the myth that read-alouds should stop once children can decode independently. Continuing to read to older children provides them with rich language exposure without the pressure of performance, creates positive emotional associations with books, and strengthens your connection. The final strategy transforms reading from something kids passively endure into something they actively do through makerspace thinking—building, creating, and problem-solving their way into stories.
Ready to help your child discover the reader within? Download our free STEM story station resource and join us on this journey to create joyful, confident readers—one page at a time. Subscribe for weekly tips that bring connection and confidence back to reading, because helping a child believe they're a reader doesn't start with fluency—it starts with how they feel about books.
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Hi, welcome to One Tired Teacher. Episode 245, how to help your child believe they're a reader. Confidence-building strategies for struggling or reluctant readers. What if one of the biggest reading struggles your child faces isn't fluency or comprehension, but belief? In today's episode, we're going to go deeper than skill building. We're talking about reading identity, because if your child doesn't believe they're a reader, they won't feel capable, motivated or even interested in trying. But the good news that identity can shift and you can help make it happen. Hope you stick around can help make it happen. Hope you stick around. Welcome to One Tired Teacher. And even though she may need a nap, this teacher is ready to wake up and speak her truth about the trials and treasures of teaching here. She is wide awake. Wait, she's not asleep right now, is she? She is awake, right.
Speaker 1:Okay, from Trina Debery, teaching and Learning. Your host, trina Debery. So hi, I'm Trina Debery and this is Treat Readers in the Making. In this video, you're going to learn why reading identity matters. We're going to also talk about how to use book choice to help build that reading identity, that reading confidence. We're going to talk about why read aloud still matter, even when kids can read on their own, and we're going to talk about a makerspace strategy that can help reluctant readers and readers that don't identify as readers. We can help them connect to books through creativity and action. All right, so these reading strategies are these they're simple, they're powerful and they're perfect for reluctant, struggling or disconnected readers or discouraged readers, even readers that don't see themselves as readers, and they may not have a reading identity yet. So that's what we're really going to focus on today, and it is a little bit of a mindset shift, because some people don't actually ever think about their reading identity and why it matters. But when we think about it, when a child says things like I'm not, I'm not a good reader, or books aren't really my thing, or I hate reading, or even if they don't say anything that's so obvious but they but you can tell that they don't see themselves as a reader because they don't read, or they don't like reading, or they don't often read, or they don't have favorite genres, favorite books, favorite series, authors, favorite any of those things. They're just kind of like. Eh, when it comes to the idea of reading, it's usually not about, it's not usually about the words on the page. It's about how they see themselves in relation to books.
Speaker 1:A child who doesn't believe they're a reader will avoid reading. They will feel anxious when they have to do it and they will compare themselves to others. Now the comparison to others part has become a very serious problem in the school system. I'm praying that it's not a problem in the homeschool environment, because there's no need for us to constantly compare one child's reading ability to someone else's reading ability. We're all different. We all grow at a different pace and that's okay. We think differently. Our brain works differently. That's okay.
Speaker 1:In the school system, we're always acting like we're doing kids a favor by going over their goals and telling them what level they're on and all those kinds of things or what kind of decodable books they should be reading. In hindsight, it's really hurtful. It's really hurtful for kids and it doesn't motivate and encourage kids. It just makes kids often feel like they can't keep up, they're not good enough or they'll never get there. And it's just like if we were to tell a group of adults where they are as far as their weight is concerned. It doesn't make me feel better knowing someone else weighs a lot less than I do, um, and it doesn't make me feel more motivated to like let me take care of myself. Um, it's, it actually makes me feel bad about myself sometimes. The same thing could be true if we put a group of adults together and we shared our bank accounts. So we have to think about these kinds of things and what they mean to kids as well.
Speaker 1:But when a child begins to see reading as something they can do, something they can enjoy, something they can grow into, everything shifts. Let's talk about how to make that shift happen. So let's talk about strategy number one, which is to let book choice build their identity. So let's talk about the problem. First of all. When we assign books based on a level, based on a skill, based on lexile or decoding or whatever we're using, or school requirement, we take away one of the most powerful tools of reading, and that's ownership. We take away their ownership. Kids begin to feel like reading is something they do for someone else, not for themselves. That is a problem. So what can we do to fix this problem? We want to let them choose books. We want them to choose any book that they want, even if it's too easy, even if it's too silly. Things like graphic novels, joke books, picture books, comic books, wordless books, minecraft manuals, they all count. They all count as reading Cookbooks, they all count. If your child is excited to open it, it's the right book. That's all it takes. They're excited to open it, it's the right book.
Speaker 1:Let me tell you a story about a situation that I just recently encountered. I was in New York and I was visiting a variety of bookstores and I went to the drama bookstore and I went to this other little bookstore, home like local bookstore in New York, and then I went to Barnes and Noble on Fifth Avenue and I'm going to shout them out because I was really discouraged with their employees. They were not very nice, but that's another. Another story, the thing that I noticed I was sitting in the children's section. First of all, I was going to buy books and then, secondly, like you know, I've been a teacher since 1997. I was a media specialist. I love to be in the presence of children with books, and the employee made me feel like I might be some kind of creeper, and so I didn't appreciate that, and also told me I wasn't allowed to sit on the ground, which I thought was kind of crazy. Like what, you're not allowed to sit on the ground. I'm gonna buy this book, like it was just so crazy. Anyway, let me get to my point.
Speaker 1:I overheard a very upsetting conversation. I heard a son who was probably I don't know, I don't know how old he was, I'm going to guess he was probably eight. So he, you know, went over to his mom so excited, his whole face was lit up up, his whole body was like just eluding energy and he's like mom, look at this book, and she takes it and she's like this is not a right book. Now come over here and let's look at some books that are right for you. And he was so crushed. The book he was showing her was a drawing book. She didn't think it was hard enough for him and he tried so hard to please her by acting like he was excited to look at the book she was showing him. But you could just see his body language, he wasn't. She kind of crushed his spirit. And I think, how many times did I do that to my own kids? Or how many times did I do that to my own students? How many times have we done that to kids? We don't want to crush their spirits. We want them to be as excited as he was about the drawing book.
Speaker 1:The drawing book will lead to another book. It's a gateway. It will lead to more books, different kinds of books, but that enthusiasm, that joy, that moment, it can never be. It can't be brought back. It can be maybe recreated in a different scenario, at a different time, hopefully. But she didn't even notice. So these are things that we have to be really careful of.
Speaker 1:All right, so another thing that we can do is is create a yes shelf. I did not put the right image here, but this is. I want I actually want to show you a yes shelf. I did not put the right image here, but this is. I actually wanna show you the yes shelf because I think the yes shelf is really. I think it's cute.
Speaker 1:All right, so we can create a yes shelf in our home and a yes. What is a yes shelf? A yes shelf is books that they've chosen, that they love, that they feel safe with. There's no required reading, there's no rules. It's yes, you can read any of these books because these are your books. So why does this work? Book choice equals autonomy, which boosts motivation, which actually allows a child to feel like they are a reader, because readers choose their own books. Readers know how to pick books. Readers actually have a collection of books, a collection of books.
Speaker 1:Easy wins help rebuild a fragile reading identity. Easy wins. Easy wins like, yes, bookshelves. Easy wins like pick whatever book you want. You want a drawing book, yes, maybe. Yes to that. And then let's also look at some other ones. Kids begin to associate books with their interests, not just schoolwork. All right, let's talk. Did you hear anything that you liked? Make sure that you like in the comments. I definitely. I need to know that this is resonating with you and you're liking it. All right. Strategy number two read alouds that build connection and confidence.
Speaker 1:Now, the myth is that once a child reads on their own, read alouds should stop. Absolutely not. The truth is, older kids still need to hear stories. Read aloud, and you might be asking yourself why. Because it lets them experience rich language without the stress of decoding, and also it sometimes is the only accurate, grammatically correct language they hear for the whole day, or for the whole week or longer. Because you know, we're so used to talking in a certain way or with slang words or whatever, and we're not speaking grammatically correct every second of the day, but books are, and so that's where they get to hear that. Also because it models fluencyency and it models tone and pacing and joy and because it creates a low pressure space to fall in love with books together. And also it's connection with you and your child. I still read to my kids and they're 20 and 25 and every single year and they love it, and every single year and they love it. Make it a cozy ritual on the couch in the car before bed. Let them doodle, let them fidget, let them snack while they listen.
Speaker 1:Try audiobooks together with earbuds or a speaker. Why does this work? It works because it removes the pressure. It removes the pressure to perform. It creates positive emotional associations with books. It reminds us that the story is still for them, even if reading is hard. All right, let's look at strategy again. If you liked this, then definitely give me a thumbs up, let me know. Share it with someone else that might need to hear this. Some people kids don't have a reading identity. Share it with them. All right, let's talk about building reading identity through makerspace thinking. All right. So this is where where reluctant readers really light up, because suddenly reading, because some, becomes something they do, not just something they get through After reading a story to your child, or with your child.
Speaker 1:Ask your child or they read it to you. Ask your child how could we build or create something based on this book? How could we help the main character? How could we solve the problem? How can we build something that changes the ending, anything like that?
Speaker 1:I've been speaking about STEM story stations and I have so many in my shop on TrinaDeboreyTeachingAndLearningcom, and I also have some on TPT as well, and I have a freebie for you and I have posted it below. It's based on the book Diary of a Worm, but this could work for any book Read you know. For example, reading Diary of a Worm, asking how can worm record his thoughts if he doesn't have hands and legs. We can build an invention that uses straws, rubber bands and Legos or whatever you have at home. Let your child sketch a blueprint, build it, test it, revise it. I give you all of that inside of that freebie so that you can work through this process with your child or they can work through it themselves.
Speaker 1:The magic here is that they're not just understanding the story, they're problem solving inside of it. They're seeing themselves as thinkers, inventors and, yes, as readers, readers who do. Why does this work? This works because reading becomes hands-on, imaginative, empowering. Kids begin to feel connected to books on a deeper, more personal level. It shifts their reading identity from I'm bad at this to I can create something from this. All right, do you want a free resource, a STEM story station? A STEM story station, a communication STEM story station? Ah, my timer went off. I don't even know what that timer's for. Anyway, you can grab it below in the description. Let's talk about some final thoughts.
Speaker 1:Helping your child believe they're a reader doesn't start with fluency. It starts with how they feel about books. It doesn't start with decoding words. It starts about how they feel about books, about stories, about connection. Confidence grows when they feel seen, when they get to choose, when reading becomes play and when you say you already are a reader. Try one of these strategies this week and notice what shifts. And don't forget to grab my free STEM story station below, and I just gave you the link right in the description. Make sure that you like this video, that you share this video and also that you are subscribing for more weekly tips that bring joy, connection and confidence back to reading. Together, you and I can create joyful, confident readers, readers in the making, one page at a time. Bye for now.