OTT 267: Gratitude Without the Guilt: Projects That Actually Matter

Tired of being told to “just be grateful” while you’re juggling a crowded class, endless testing, and a to-do list that never ends? I open up about gratitude without the guilt—how to honor real exhaustion and real care at the same time—so you can model emotional health without faking it. Instead of platitudes, I break down the difference between a scarcity mindset and actual scarcity in schools, and why empathy—not forced positivity—is the thing that helps.

I share classroom-ready ways to make gratitude meaningful: a quick daily journal that trains students to notice specifics, hands-on craft reflections that slow the pace and deepen thinking, and story-driven STEM stations that weave kindness and empathy into problem solving. You’ll hear easy discussion prompts that hold two truths at once—“What felt hard?” and “What are you still grateful for?”—so kids learn to name the mess and the meaning without pressure to produce silver linings. Along the way, I talk about boundaries, breath, and the right to want systems that work while still showing up for students with a full heart.

If you’re craving practical, human-sized steps that build connection and calm in November and beyond, this conversation is for you. You’ll leave with simple routines, kid-friendly language, and a new lens on gratitude that doesn’t erase the hard parts. Subscribe for more honest teaching talk, share this with a colleague who needs permission to rest, and leave a review telling me one small thing you’re grateful for today.

Links Mentioned in the Show: 

Gratitude Journal for Kids

Gratitude Craft for Kids

Thanksgiving STEM Story Stations

Kindness STEM Story Stations

Chapters

• 0:00 Setting The Stage: Gratitude Without Guilt
• 1:27 Toxic Positivity vs. Real Scarcity
• 3:09 Empathy Over Empty Platitudes
• 6:06 Two Things Can Be True At Once
• 8:25 Regulating, Breathing, Letting Go Of Guilt
• 9:24 What We Actually Care About
• 11:13 Meaningful Gratitude Practices For Classrooms
• 13:45 Journals, Crafts, And STEM With Empathy
• 16:20 Prompts For Hard-And-Grateful Conversations
• 18:19 Easy, Flexible Resources And Links

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:00

Welcome to One Tired Teacher episode 267. Gratitude without the guilt. Projects that actually matter. Hey, so today we are talking about gratitude without the guilt. And yes, that title is doing the most. Because guess what? So are you. And I think we need to talk about how we can teach gratitude without it becoming one more thing that we're expected to feel, to say, to model, to post about, to reflect on, and somehow turn it into a standards-aligned bulletin board. Yes. Does that sound familiar? Today's today's One Tired Teacher episode is for teachers who are tired of being told to be grateful when you're already giving everything you have. Hope you stick around.

SPEAKER_00: 1:00

Welcome to One Tired Teacher. And even though she may need a nap, this teacher is ready to wake up and speak her truth about the trials and treasures of teaching. Here she is, wide awake. Wait, she's not asleep right now, is she? She is awake, right? Okay. From Trina Deborah Teaching and Learning, your host, Trina Debori.

SPEAKER_01: 1:23

Hey, so let's talk about the gratitude guilt trip. Let me first explain something. When when we're told to have a positive attitude, to be grateful, to make our own weather, to um, you know, put the uh a smile on our face, to do it for the kids, all those things, when we're told that they're acting like we have a scarcity mindset, which means that we only see the negative and we only see the bad. And even with my TikTok series of the We Do Not Care Club teacher chapter, I I've had just a few people say things like, you know, what about the kids? And you, you know, do teach unbiased. And I'm like, What? And I'm like, you're not getting it. You're not getting the point. The point isn't to create a space for people to complain and whine and be disgruntled. It's a place so that people feel heard and seen and recognized, acknowledged, respected, and maybe even kind of inspired. So that there's a big difference. When and again, like a scarcity mindset is never being able to see anything hopeful and seeing everything as the worst case scenario. But sometimes when there's an actual scarcity like there is in the school system, then having a scarcity mindset makes sense. And pretending like we don't, and telling people to just get over it and smile and nod along is actually doing more harm than good. So if you have a child who is constantly tripping and scraping their knee and whining and complaining and always telling you they need a band-aid and crying and causing a big commotion over just a teeny tiny little scrape, you might think, okay, they've got a scarcity mindset, and I need to help them pick themselves back up, dust themselves off, and carry on. However, if there are actual tripping hazards everywhere they walk and they are not only just tiny scraping, they are gashing their knee or even having their knee completely cut out, then that's not a time to just pick yourself up and carry on. That's a time to be like, oh my gosh, what's happening? How can we get this to stop? So I just wanted to explain the difference because I often feel like some people are missing the point. The point is our teachers are trying to tell you that they need help, they need for things to change, they need to be recognized, they need to be treated respectfully, and not just teachers. Like a lot of people in education, our paraprofessionals, you know, our custodians, our cafeteria workers, even our administrators sometimes are in this situation where they're not treated fairly. And and when you try to boil down where these problems are coming from, it's they it's a it's coming from a lot of different areas. So it's just something to keep in mind. All right. So let's let's the first thing that we can do is like let go of the gratitude guilt trip. And you know what I mean. You know when it's like you should be grateful to how summer's off, and you should be grateful that at least you get holiday breaks, and you should be grateful that just focus on the positivity, and at least you still have a job. That is like the most annoying thing. At least you still have a job. Like sometimes we can go get a job at Costco and make the same amount of money with a lot less pressure, and there's not a scarcity mentality in Costco, it's actually an abundance mentality. So people need to stop saying things like that as a way to help someone because it's really demeaning and really insensitive. And I I what I think we have the biggest problem right now in everything that is going on is a lack of empathy. We just have such a lack of empathy, and that is really sad. So when we turn gratitude into a weapon in the burnout Olympics, this is what we're saying loud and clear. We're saying you can be frustrated and grateful. Both of those feelings, both of that atmosphere can survive in one place. It's okay for you to be upset, it's okay for you to be mad about a system that isn't working very well for you or for students, but you can also be grateful for something because there's that student or that co-worker or that comfy chair or your classroom with windows, or the fact that you have two closets instead of one, or anything like that can be something that we look to and be grateful for. That doesn't mean we have to push all of the other stuff beside aside. It means that two things can be true at once. You can be overwhelmed and still love your two students, you can want things to change and still show up with your heart. That's not a contradiction. I can say we do not care about craziness, but we do care about kids. We do care about making a difference, we do care about teaching kids something that lights them up and helps them learn and makes them, you know, it leaves an impression on them for the rest of their lives. We can still have both feelings. We don't have to say we do not care about anything, and that's not what we're saying. We're saying we do not care about XYZ, we do care about ABC. So let's just remember that. It's not a contradiction, it's being human. That's being a teacher. So if you've ever felt guilty for not feeling grateful enough when you're barely hanging on, this episode is your permission slip to let go of that guilt. Let it go. Take a deep breath. Like let it all out. Kind of relax your shoulders. Because if they're all tensed up like mine just were, then you want to push them down and let some air in. All right, so let's talk about what we do care about. Because this is one of the things that I am like, oh, when somebody comments something, especially when it's not even grammatically correct, but I digress, it's you I have to remember that it's not personal. They don't know me. I and you know, I'm just doing a an episode that I think resonates with other teachers because I've been teaching since 1997. And I have seen cut things come and go and whatever. And I've been involved in education in many different ways, you know, from the classroom, from the library, as a special area teacher, working side by side with administrators, doing like an administrative type of job, dealing with behavior issues as a parent, as a parent of a struggling student, as a parent of a student that excels, as like so many different aspects. As a child who had a hard time in school myself, like so many different perspectives. So, you know, I I want to say when people write things that are mean or imply that like teachers don't care or that I don't care. I'm like, you're missing the point. And also, some people just don't get comedy, they just don't get it. They don't, they don't understand it, it doesn't make sense to them, they're deeply offended, and they want to shut it down. And that is just the way that it is. So let me say this plainly: we do care deeply. That's why we advocate, that's why we're passionate, that's why we're exhausted because we've cared too much for too long without enough support. We care about kids feeling seen and safe. We care about them being physically safe as well. We care about real learning that sparks curiosity. We care about creating joy, structure, and calm, even in chaotic seasons. We care about preserving our own mental health so that we can keep going and so that we can also show up in other aspects of our lives as wives, as sisters, as daughters, as mothers, as friends, as husbands if you're if you're, you know, whatever. It we still have other parts of us that get to be, to get to exist, and that the teacher part of us doesn't have to take over 100% and completely suffocate us in all other areas. That is what caring looks like. It's not smiling through the burnout, it's doing the hard human thing of setting boundaries, saying no, and modeling authentic emotional health. Okay, shoulders up again, put them down, put them down, take a deep breath. So, gratitude that actually means something. So, how do we teach gratitude without it feeling like fluff or fake positivity? Here are a few ways that I have found that have brought meaning back into it. So, one of the first things that I made so long ago was actually this gratitude journal for kids. And I was like, this is gonna be the resource that every teacher wants. It's so beautiful. And I use this really pretty clip art and I found really inspiring motivational quotes for every page, and I gave them space to talk about things they're grateful for, and I actually did this practice. I also give ideas and like you know, brainstorming things and all kinds of whatever in this gratitude journal. It's so old too. And I used it in my classroom, and what a difference I saw in my students. I'm like, when we just practiced just a few minutes of gratitude, it was like we had a an I can do attitude. I mean, we still knew that there was bad things, and we didn't say you can't talk about bad things. We can say something as simple as, I'm grateful that I was able to get out of bed today, or I'm grateful that I have this pencil that's sharpened to the exact length that I like, or that I have this desk, this hard surface to write on, or that I'm able to go to the bathroom when I want to. It doesn't have to be some big profound gratitude list. It can be something small. And it's kind of teaching kids to see the small things that we are grateful for, or that we like miss out on or don't recognize in our mind because we're so busy with all the chaos. So I created that journal. It's actually in my shop on TPT, Trina Deborah Teaching and Learning. But I also created a gratitude craft that is similar to the journal, but just more of like a craft with, you know, with like a turkey and a gratitude writing thing. And it, and that's a little bit more the gratitude journal is is is definitely like just print and go. The gratitude craft is like, you know, they're cutting and they're gluing, but oh, do we need that right now? We know we need cutting and gluing. I mean, kids, they don't know how to do it. It also like allows your brain to slow down and and it allows them to think. And we're and again, we're not just focused on like I'm grateful for my, you know, my iPad, or I'm grateful for my Xbox, or I'm grateful for my, you know, my mom, which is a great thing too. But we're writing like the why as well. We're connecting to moments and to people and to feelings, and that's that's all really powerful. And also there's like time to do a little discussion if we want to, and share with a partner, or share with the team, or share with the class, and it's just, I don't know, something special. That's one option. Another option are I have also this these created these STEM projects that teach kindness plus empathy, which empathy is such a missing piece. Yes, you can keep sneak character development into STEM, but I have this specific like Thanksgiving, I have these Thanksgiving STEM story stations that focus on 10 different like Thanksgiving books, and that's a really fun one. But I also have one uh built on kindness and empathy, and it is all about books that have that theme inside of them, and that is a really powerful resource as well, and it's designed to um to get kids really thinking about what that looks like when they're interacting with others, and it's fun and it's reflective, and they are problem solving and they're collaborating and they're thinking about what it looks like to care for others. And I think in this day and age, this is like a necessity. Like this is a 911 emergency that we actually want to teach kids kindness and empathy and gratitude. Another idea is a class discussions that allow space for both. Like, here's a here's an example. Here's here's a prompt you might use. And you don't need any resource for this. You could literally just do this with sticky notes, or they don't they could write it on a whiteboard, they could just turn and talk to a partner. But something like, what's something that felt really hard lately? Kind of let them think about it. Like, what is something that has felt hard? And they and like give them a chance to think because sometimes they can't jump on to the next part of the prompt until they've actually got the thing in their head, and then and something you're still grateful for. So there you're taking part of that like thing that felt hard, and you're thinking about what about that actually I'm still thankful for. You know, most of the time your seven-year-old is not gonna be not gonna say things like, you know, my parents got divorced, but I'm really thankful that I had to go through struggle because now I know how to be resilient. They're not gonna say that. Um older kids might say that, but but but they might say something like, My parents got divorced, but now my mom is really happy. And um and maybe they're not even there yet, but it's allowing them to start to get there. It's a hard one. It's definitely and it definitely takes time and it kind of and you know, and it takes away from our all of the nonsense that we feel like we have to do, our scripted programs and our eye-ready testing and our computer crap and whatever. But it's so much more meaningful and impactful, and you don't have to spend, you know, 30 minutes doing it, you can do it in a few minutes. You know, it can just be a practice that you do a couple times a week, or even if you wanted to do it every day for like the five minutes before you go to lunch or something like that. The most powerful thing you do in November is to model emotional complexity because when we allow space for both the mess and the meaning, we teach our students how to be fully human. Okay, so if you if you want something easy, you want it meaningful, you want it done for you, then you can grab my gratitude craft, you can grab my STEM Thanksgiving STEM set, you can grab my kindness, you know, STEM stories, anything like that. They're engaging, they're flexible, they let your students reflect without the worksheets, and they feel like that, you know, it feels like like they're doing, you know, it is a you know, it is a worksheet per se, but it's like a little bit more than a worksheet. I'll drop the link in the show notes and you can grab them. All right. So, no, this isn't an episode about being more grateful. It's about giving yourself permission to feel everything and still invite meaning into the season. You're allowed to be tired, you're allowed to be annoyed at Pinterest perfect bulletin boards. You're allowed to want rest and boundaries and systems that work. And guess what? You're still a good teacher, you're still doing important, beautiful, hard things. Thanks for being here with me. Until next time, stay strong, stay rested, and stay human. And sweet dreams and sleep tight.