Bald Guys Unplugged: March Madness, Golf Drama, and Stitches

Recorded March 23rd, 2025

When Graham calls Scott with news of a bloody finger injury that requires stitches, it sets the tone for one of the most entertaining and unpredictable episodes of Bald Guys on the Bench yet. Between trips to urgent care and filling out ridiculous workplace accident forms asking "what could have been done differently," Graham's weekend adventure becomes the perfect metaphor for the chaos of March Madness weekend.

The tournament itself provides plenty of fodder as the guys break down the surprising lack of close games and major upsets during the opening rounds. "Most of these games have been blowouts," they lament, before diving into the exceptions like Duke's dominant performance that has them looking like the team to beat. Their 21-person bracket challenge gets competitive as they analyze who's leading and whose Final Four picks are already busted.

Golf takes center stage with a detailed breakdown of Victor Hovland's comeback victory and the dramatic final holes where JT's collapse opened the door. This leads to one of the episode's highlights—a spirited debate about the "worst Masters champion of all time," with Danny Willett taking that dubious crown. The guys dissect his unlikely win, critique his uninspired Champions Dinner menu ("You could get a better meal at Wawa"), and reminisce about Angel Cabrera's miraculous U.S. Open victory at Oakmont with a +5 winning score.

The conversation takes an unexpected statistical turn when they reveal the NFL teams with the most regular season wins over the past decade. The Chiefs' dominance isn't surprising at 123 wins, but eyebrows raise at the Steelers and Bills tied for second with 101 victories each. This prompts a deeper discussion about coaching, talent utilization, and why Tomlin's Steelers haven't translated regular season success into more championships.

Between Graham's confusion about when the tournament's second round starts ("What day next week?") and the introduction of the term "Graham Dick Tight" to describe particularly precise golf shots, this episode delivers the perfect blend of sports analysis, personal stories, and genuine friendship that keeps listeners coming back. Listen for the knowledge, stay for the laughs.

#baldguysonthebench #graboneandcrackone #marchmadness #pgatour #themasters

Transcript

Welcome and March Madness Intro

Announcer 0:07

Welcome to another episode of the Bald Guys on the Bench podcast, with your hosts Graham Cohen and Scott Wasco.

Graham 0:21

What's up everyone? Welcome back to another episode of the Bald Guys on the Bench. Scott, oh my lord, it is March. Madness, it's finally here. How you doing, brother, I'm doing good.

Scott 0:32

It's Sunday night. We got the last game of the weekend going on. We're going to talk about a lot of stuff. Tonight we got a pretty off-the-wall episode where a lot of topics are going to be covered. The wall episode where a lot of topics are going to be covered. But you know, let's grab it, let's crack it. It's 1130 East coast time. Let's go who?

Scott 0:53

Yeah, I do so, as we're sitting here getting ready to get going, uh, we got Arizona up by seven with 8.50 left 68-61. I think the line was Arizona getting 4.5. I don't know.

Graham 1:18

No, they were favored.

Scott 1:19

They were favored. Okay, all I know is I had over 151.5 and it's close. But anyhow, graham, we grabbed it, we cracked it. It's Sunday night. I know you worked all weekend. Tell the people what the shit happened to you the other day when you called me on. Was it Friday? Yeah, when they had to put

Scott 1:43

your dang body back together and you send me a picture of it, knowing your boy hates blood and stuff like that, and I'm like as soon as it comes through I didn't even look, like straight delete, like don't ever. I hate it. Why do you do that?

Graham 1:59

I'll be honest. I forgot you're that way.

Scott 2:02

I'm gonna be honest if you got blood and all that kind of stuff, send it to kristen. She loves it. I'm good, I'm good, uh, yeah it's the network show that's still going on. Uh, the hospital I can't think of it up in seattle gray's anatomy yeah, I can't even watch that shit without all the blood and stuff.

Graham 2:26

The fact you even watch Grey's Anatomy. Well.

Scott 2:27

Kristen watches it. I watched it at the beginning because of that hot chick. It always has to do with that. Obviously we know Catherine something. What's her name? Heigl? Yeah, she was in the other movie too, with the comedy. What was the?

Graham 2:44

name yeah, 40-year 40 year old virgin. No, not that. No, not sorry. No, knocked up, knocked up, yes, knocked up, let's go. Yeah, I was like what wrong one. That was a great movie.

Scott 2:54

But anyhow, off topic much and we're how many minutes in 244? Uh, shocker let me show you my shock face gram. Oh, ooh.

Graham 3:04

Uh, I'm sorry. Is this Bald Guys on the Bench or another podcast?

Scott 3:08

Uh, I mean, it is a sports comedy podcast. So Facts.

Graham's Emergency Room Adventure

Graham 3:14

Does it mean it Speaking of comedy?

Graham 3:17

Ah well, some people laughed. I mean I didn't think it was that funny, but yeah. But uh, to reference what Scott was talking about, I was at work. It was about 30 minutes before I was about to get out. I'm behind the bar talking to some of my regulars and the bartender behind me was just like, hey, get out the way, sniper. And when I went to back up I forgot, got him. There was something behind me.

Graham 3:46

I tripped going backwards a little bit bit and I flung my hand up to kind of like balance myself and, uh, my hand hit these wine glasses that are hanging from above and within. Doing that, I shattered a wine glass and cut my pinky finger and like, oh, that doesn't look that bad. I'm like, all right, let me go to the bathroom and check it out. And I was like, yeah, it's going to need some stitches. I'm like, no, it's not.

Graham 4:08

And I was like I opened the wound up. I was like, yeah, this part's missing skin, this slit and this wound, yeah, I'm going to need that. They're like, oh, oh, my God, what are you going to do? I was like Urgent care, get a couple stitches. And folks, I know, you all know, but urgent care, emergency room. Yeah, they're nice amenities to have, but unless you're literally dying, you're not going to get serviced for minimum an hour, like they even told me. Hey, sign up online, it will help the process go faster. Let me ask you a question if you fill out all the information online, why the fuck do you still have to fill out a paper form answering the same questions and, like I, told you last night make that make sense about this.

Scott 5:02

Just the fact that you only had to wait an hour was amazing. I I thought, yeah, friday night, I mean fair friday night, urgency, care, vegas hour, wait. I mean, when I texted you and you were like yeah, I'm on the way home, I'm like I'm sorry, what I mean? I expected you to be there until way after I went to bed. Right, and you're bitching about an hour, shut up.

Graham 5:33

But well, I well, no, that's to finally get in. Then you know they had the tech and she's like looking at it. The doctor finally came in like 30 minutes later. I mean actual, you know, looking at the finger doing something about it, 20 minutes, me being there two hours and 15 minutes, I mean, look, I'm happy it's fixed Once again.

Scott 5:58

I know, I know.

Graham 5:58

Anyhow, I know.

Scott 6:00

But yeah, the main thing is glad you weren't injured more you know, oh, no, yeah, yeah, the main thing is glad you weren't injured more.

Graham 6:06

Oh no, yeah, yeah. The worst part is I'm filling out the paperwork at work the accident form and dude, the place I work at is run by real intelligent people yeah, run by real intelligent people. Dude, there's like four different forms that are more or less the same thing. But then there's questions like well, what could have been done differently to prevent this and what rules were not followed, that this happened? And I'm like guys, this is the situation of complete accident you ever heard what an accident is.

Scott 6:48

Do you know what the definition? Of that is. Yeah, I mean if you didn't allow snipers in the business, then Graham wouldn't have gotten got Sniper got him, I mean.

NCAA Tournament Weekend Recap

Graham 7:03

So I'm just filling out all this same shit. I'm just like. I mean the one thing I'll say this I was happy that management was super cool about the whole situation. They're very like are you okay, are you okay? I mean not that I wouldn't think that they would not care about my well-being, but I mean the one manager kind of saw what happened and they knew it was not. I mean, they knew I wasn't doing anything stupid to cause this to happen. It's just it was a fluke accident. It just it was what it was. I mean it's uh, you know it's been a long time since I've been to any type of emergency place. I mean it's kind of funny. This is the second time I've had to get stitches on my finger. Like the first time was over 20 years ago when I was working at a convenience store and you know I cut my finger on the meat slicer. Ow, oh, whoa. End game break on this. Oregon, arizona. What happened? That was?

Scott 8:00

a turnover. Anyhow, Arizona's up 3-7-0-6 left.

Graham 8:08

Hey, on a side note, I'll say this Out of all the games that have happened these last few days, why did it take until today? Well, there was one game yesterday, maybe two games that were like oh, I don't know actually compelling, actually came down to the wire or were close. Most of these games have been blowouts, yeah, or not, you know, no upsets, really I mean we'll get it, because the the main one, colorado state. They were actually favored, even though there were a 12 seed.

Scott 8:39

But I mean two seed, they gone yeah yeah, saint john's two seed they gone. Yeah yeah, st John's two seed they gone. But it took to the second round the weekend to get that happen. But anyhow, we'll get into that in a minute, even though.

Announcer 8:56

Yeah.

Scott 8:57

So the end of your weekend was you got stitches? No bueno, yeah, got to watch a little bit of sports and lost some bets, like everybody else, sheesh.

Graham 9:12

Yeah, golf didn't treat us very well this week. No, march Madness didn't treat us very well this week and the thing is, a lot of what we took I'm sure other people took, like some of these games. It's just like what happened Dude St John's, their number one player, got benched.

Scott 9:35

Well when you're one for 17 for the game.

Graham 9:39

I mean, you got to do something. I don't blame Patino.

Scott 9:43

You got two Hall of Fame coaches. I mean you know I Fame coaches. I mean, yeah, you know I get it, I don't know hey at least Duke looked pretty solid today and get hot. They've looked like the most dominating team so far in the tournament. I mean, some people were I mean, what was the line today against Baylor? Like they gave Baylor way more respect than they needed. Nine yeah.

Graham 10:10

It was nine. I'm sorry what.

Announcer 10:14

Yeah.

Scott 10:16

Thinking about that today, after the fact and you and I talking last night about what we like, like we always say, if I could read tomorrow's sports page today, but that's one that that's one of the ones that we should have read tomorrow's sports page last night.

Graham 10:34

Yeah.

Scott 10:34

Like I'm sorry what Baylor nine points. I mean Duke.

Graham 10:41

I don't know. I mean, if you want the flip side of that, how about UConn and Florida? How was Florida favored by nine?

PGA Tour: Hovland's Victory

Scott 10:52

Yeah, but that's a little different story. I can understand why they're favored by nine, but still kind of weird when you're talking about the defending national champions, for I mean, didn't they win two years in a row? Amazing coach.

Scott 11:08

You know that's a lot of points for that situation. I mean, didn't they win it two years in a row? Amazing coach? Yeah, they did. You know that's a lot of points for that situation, even though they had a shitty season. That dude knows how to motivate for the tournament. Anyhow, facts and what a game. First round, I mean it was all right. You know it was what it was A lot of blowouts, um, let's just jump real quick into golf before we get into the tournament and all that stuff. And just because golf, let's do it golf.

Scott 11:37

We got a couple funny topics that graham and I were talking about last night that literally came out of left field and that's why we started the show a random saturday night a couple beers deep, talk about whatever you want. So victor hovland gets his first dub right in a while. Coming off yeah, coming off that dominant performance a couple years ago when he won everything in the playoffs and just thanks for coming. Everybody chain swing coaches went to shit in the handbasket, whatever he's been down and out came back. I mean, he played good at the rider cup, yeah, right after. That was the same season when he dominated the fedex.

Scott 12:20

Okay, just rolling right into that right, yeah, but yeah, graham and I are last night were talking about it and you know, I'm saying to Graham man, I really wish I could find an over-under on what Victor Hovland's going to shoot tomorrow, because I'm going over 100% and Graham's like why? I'm like dude, he's been playing like shit His press conference the other day he was whining and seeing how emotional he's been and he's been trying and he's not getting the results. I'm like, oh yeah, this dude's due for a goddang 80, leading the golf tournament. Talking about that three or four days ago, right, and then we came out and golfed his ball. You know I'm gonna eat my crow. I'll do it right now. Good for you. Victor Hovland Always loved the dude's golf swing. I wasn't hating on him, I was just hating on how he's been playing.

Announcer 13:21

Facts. You know what I mean.

Scott 13:22

I like, I like him Good players can slug, yeah, but I was all over. Jt Talked you into it. You know, last night live bet plus 750. Let's go. Jt's got a two-shot lead through 14. Today. They're offering me a cash out. Let's go, I'm not going to take it.

Graham 13:49

They say that. But why would you take a cash out there If you've got a two-stroke league on 14, you're letting it ride yeah.

Scott 13:54

Every time.

Graham 13:55

Every time so anyhow.

Scott 13:57

Jt makes a bogey, then he makes another bogey, then he hits it dick tight on 17, a 220-yard par 3, and misses the putt. How tight, dick tight. It wasn't that dick tight, but it was a laser beam at the time and the moment right, because at the time and the moment he had a one-shot lead after Bogan's 16. Laser beam misses the putt for Birdie on 17. Okay, walking to the 18th tee birdie on 17. Okay, walking to the 18th tee Hovland. Okay, victor hits it. I just called JT's dick tight. Okay, I'm going to call Hovland's seed on 17. And this folks will tell you how close he hit it to the hole.

Announcer 14:50

We're going to call this Graham Dick Tight. Wow, so that's how quick shots fired.

Graham 14:55

That was not playing, so he hit it to 12 feet.

Scott 14:57

That is amazing.

Graham 14:58

I'm going to pat myself on the back for that one. He hit it to 12 feet.

Scott 15:02

And makes the putt right. Makes the putt on 17. Now JT's on 18. Hovland's still on 17. Now JT's on 18. Hovland's still on 17,. But I'm sitting here with Ava's boyfriend, andrew, and it's a 430-yard hole and I'm like why is he hitting driver here? Jt, you're tied for the lead. You have to hit the fairway. It's 430 yards. I mean, good God, you hit your two iron 250 and you got a little. Hit the seven wood Dude and he yanks it and he's 120 yards out and he's in such a shit lie he can't even get to the green Game over Right in the group behind him. I just talked about it. Hovland hits it, graham dictate Makes the putt. Now Hovland's got a one-shot lead. Jt makes bogey. Hovland hits it a little right on 18. Leaves it short. Makes bogey. Wins by one. Graham and I lose our bet. Thanks.

Graham 16:06

But Well, hey bro, we had the momentum from last week when we called Rory coming back from four shots. That's why we like dude, jt was the play.

Scott 16:17

That's all I was thinking of 14. I'm like dude, we just called it two Saturdays in a row, live bet Saturday night. I don't even remember what Rory was, but he was four. He was four back at least His line was plus four, I think Plus 400. Something around there.

Graham 16:37

No, I got him for plus 650.

Scott 16:41

All right, but JT, yeah, plus 750? Let's go. Oh yeah, anyhow. Uh, I don't know, this is a fun event. That golf course is so hard. I mean geez louise, yeah, but uh glad I didn't make that lowry bet yeah, but you were, you were scat, you were, were pissed after two days.

Graham 17:12

Hey, what do you always tell me First two days don't matter, bro? I mean they do, but you know what I'm trying to say.

Scott 17:19

They do, but they don't.

Graham 17:20

It's a marathon, not a sprint. Yeah, because most of our bets when we do pick on the golf it's to place top 20 usually. Because most of our bets when we do pick on the golf it's to place like top 20 usually. So it's like when they go out in day one, if they're in the top five, I'm like, yeah, this is great. And you're like, bro, it's day one, you got three more rounds. Sim it down. You know what I mean. So it's just like same thing with Lowry. It's just like, oh, there he is.

Scott 17:42

Dude, because he plays hard golf courses, great, great why? Because he's a ball striker, he's an iron player. Look at the last four events dude In Florida. Bay Hill what was before Bay Hill? I forget where they were. Whatever the last three Bay Hill or no, they were at. Pga National.

Graham 18:10

Yeah, where the Honda?

Scott 18:11

used to be. They went from Honda Bay Hill brutal golf course, tpc brutal and then to Ennisbrook. That's a rough stretch and look who's been consistent every week.

Graham 18:25

Well, I mean, if you want to talk about a perfect segue, I mean against hard golfer, I mean hard golf courses two weeks. How do you like his chances at augusta? Is he? Is he a top 20 play? And I'm not asking, in a sense, for a scottie's hot picks, I'm just asking off yeah, he doesn't play there very well does?

Worst Masters Champions Debate

Scott 18:46

I don't think it's. It doesn't play to his strength of his game at Augusta. Augusta is not the kind of golf course I think that is his style. He's a European from Ireland. What do you do in Europe? You got to hit it low. You got to flight it. What do you do at Augusta? You got to hit it high and land it on those greens that are 37 on the stint meter and super firm.

Graham 19:15

I don't know, am I saying he can't win?

Scott 19:17

No, I mean, we did see the worst Masters champion of all time from Europe win there.

Graham 19:26

You're welcome. Who's that?

Scott 19:29

Do we really need to name him I?

Graham 19:33

mean.

Scott 19:33

Well, you know, not everyone that listened to us is if you're a fan of sports and golf and you didn't know the name, that just popped up in your head when I said the worst Masters champion of all time I'm pretty bitter.

Graham 19:56

I mean, there was a couple that who, who is worse than Danny Willett.

Scott 20:06

Okay.

Graham 20:07

Oh, you just gave it away Worst champion at the masters ever.

Scott 20:14

The guy played the greatest nine holes of his life and Jordan Spieth, going for back-to-back green jackets, hit about 14 balls in the water on 12, with the lead to gift the black pudding eating Danny Willett the green jacket. And you're going to say there's somebody that's worse than him, the only thing that's worse than him. Never mind, I'm not even going there. That was going to be weird.

Graham 20:56

No, say it no, go ahead.

Scott 20:57

Go ahead. Who's worse than Danny?

Graham 21:00

Willett as a.

Scott 21:00

Masters champion. Who's the worst guy that's won the green jacket? That gets an invitation to the champions dinner every tuesday night for life, the week of the masters? Who's worse than that? Dude, you're welcome?

Graham 21:14

nobody I mean, I'm just trying to think of some recency over here, uh, the only person that I can even. Okay, how about what happened to Charles Swartzel?

Scott 21:35

He played great for 72 holes. Okay, he fought off a Jason Day that shot 31 on the back nine.

Graham 21:50

All right, all right. The only person okay, I think the Molinari was a good one too. Right, the only just hold on.

Scott 21:59

The only person that even is close in my mind to being that much of a disappointing Masters champion and folks we're talking like Danny Willett, is negative 37, okay on the scale of 1 to 10. The next person I'm going to put in positive numbers that's how it's not even close Mike Weir.

Graham 22:23

I mean, but Mike Weir is, he's had somewhat of a career. You can't. I mean Danny Willett has done close to nothing. Well, look, if you play on the PGA Tour, I mean you're not crap. I mean obviously you're a great player, I get all that, but I mean.

Scott 22:50

Yeah.

Graham 22:52

Danny Willett. Yeah, I just tried. I mean, there's other names.

Scott 23:02

As I'm looking it up right now, you're not even going to say a name that even compares to him.

Graham 23:10

Oh, hold my beer. He says Damn. So that was in 2016,. Danny Willett Swartzel was 11. I want to talk shit on this guy just because I know who you're going to just because I can tell you right now who you're gonna say.

Scott 23:32

If I guess it right now, will you be honest with me?

Graham 23:36

100.

Scott 23:37

Zach Johnson yes, of course I knew you were gonna say that and you know what I wanted to say to you.

Graham 23:50

I'm listening check out how many majors zach johnson's one. No, I know, I know, I know. But here's the thing if you're that smart and you're that good, why do you tell your boys to not practice for six fucking weeks before the for the rider cup?

Scott 24:03

that's a I know, I know we're talking worst masters, champion of all time. Can we just agree to agree that I'm right?

Graham 24:13

um, yeah, so I'm looking at the list here of the past champions, as you're saying this.

Scott 24:19

I have to know this right now. I have to know what who gave him the jacket.

Graham 24:24

No, I don't give a shit about that.

Scott 24:25

Yeah, jordan, did. I want to know what Danny Willett's, what his champion's dinner menu was. Oh, I bet it was the worst dinner of all time, wow.

Graham 24:41

Guaranteed. I completely forgot, dude. You want to hear the worst part. I know where you're going here too. Bubba Watson, danny, first off, bubba Watson, bro, don't even disrespect him like that. All right, go into what you were going to say. I was there that year, dude, if people can comprehend the shot on 10 in the playoff that he hit, I can't comprehend it, because I've stood in the exact spot seven times.

Graham 25:11

As have I, and I still can't comprehend it. There is, dude, you like to hit a 40-yard hook from 120 yards out With a gap wedge With a gap wedge, like come on, but while you're looking that up, this is the three-year stretch. This is the worst three-year stretch in.

Announcer 25:31

Masters history.

Graham 25:32

Champions Ready, let's hear it? 2016,. Danny Willett Now I like the next guy, but he won in a playoff. I don't remember who he played. Sergio won in a playoff. Do you remember who he beat? Damn it. It doesn't say on here, so I'd have to look it up. Was it Justin Rose?

Scott 25:53

I'm almost positive.

Graham 25:55

I think that is true, almost positive. I would say yeah. And then 2018,. Mr, I cheat at golf and I don't like my parents, ricky finished second out here. Yeah, Patrick, fucking Reed. But dude, I'm going through the list and honestly, and then 19. Who won in?

Announcer 26:19

19?. Yeah, you're right.

Graham 26:20

It's Willett, it's definitely Willett. Oh yeah, without a doubt, Because, dude, everyone here, it's like Tiger Vijay, Marco Mira, I mean when Marco Mira won in 98, he's a solid player.

Scott 26:37

Yeah, you think.

Graham 26:41

I mean Ian Woosnam, larry Mize in the playoffs, sandy Lyle. I mean they're all. I mean none of these. There's no one-hit wonders on here except Danny Willett. All right, I can see, danny Willett is the worst. I mean, once you start going to the 40s and 50s, I don't know the people. So I mean, like, do you know who Art Wall Jr is, dude or?

Scott 27:07

Doug Ford no, but I just got the menu.

Graham 27:13

What did he have?

Scott 27:14

April 4th 2017. European prime rib. So that probably had the flavor of a piece of dirt Roasted potatoes and vegetables. Yorkshire pudding and gravy. For dessert, apple crumble. Oh, shocker. Coffee and tea served. You want to have a little teapot? Eh, dude, that's the worst ever. I mean I can get a better meal at Wawa Breakfast Burrito and drink some cooies. Get out of here.

Graham 27:54

Right, black pudding Dude. We could go to Bucky's and get better food, and I've never been, yeah.

Scott 28:00

Dude, if you want to get some beef jerky and you go to Bucky's, yeah. If you like having 7,000 flavors, have fun picking one out.

Graham 28:09

Hey, they give out samples Anyhow once again love golf.

Scott 28:15

The way that Graham and I got on this topic last night. We were talking about Angel Cabrera actually playing in the Masters this year because if you didn't know, now you know he was in jail for a while. But we started talking about it and then we brought up danny willett and I was like graham, doesn't anna cabrera have two majors? And we had to. And yeah, we knew we did. We didn't know what the second one was. We knew he had the green jacket. And then I'm like graham remember when I played at oakmont and I stayed in the pool house, I stayed in the angel cabrera room and graham's like yeah, you dumb ass. That means he won the us open at oakmont and I was like wow dude, that conversation last night it was pretty good.

Graham 29:07

Wait, where was that second major at? Then you look it up and you're like oh, it was the US Open, the one at Oakmont. Oh, I'm like, oh, the one at the room that you stayed at at Oakmont, Whatever Like. Sometimes things are so obvious they're not obvious, right, Do you remember?

Scott 29:24

what his score was At Oakmont Remember we talked about it last night.

Graham 29:31

Oh, yeah, plus five.

Scott 29:33

Yeah.

Graham 29:36

Unbelievable Carnage Dude that I remember. That dude that was. Yeah, it's not very often that you get to see, because I mean, no regular tournaments are that difficult. It's always the majors, but it's very rare that the winning score is above or.

Scott 29:58

Over par, yeah, above par, I think when DJ won it it's rare. The next US Open after Cabrera's win. When DJ won it, I think he was two over.

Announcer 30:09

Yeah.

Scott 30:10

I believe, and that's with a bullshit penalty called against him on the back nine. Remember that.

Graham 30:20

Was that Bandon? No, dude, that was at.

Scott 30:22

Oakmont.

Graham 30:24

Oh yeah.

Scott 30:25

DJ got that penalty called on him and nobody knew what the situation was, if it was a penalty or not a penalty, as we're watching the event on the back, nine, yeah, and DJ, I think, standing on the 72nd hole. Nobody knows if it's a penalty or if it's not. He's got a one-shot lead and DJ just goes up there and hits it gram-dick tight and says, hey world, hold my beer. I don't care if it's a one-stroke penalty or not. I just got that dub. And now I get to go back with Paulina and you motorboats. And you know I told you tonight was going to be a good one.

Scott 31:12

Told you tonight was going to be a good one. But you know, I had my stupid moment last night about Angel Cabrera, when I stayed in his room at Oakmont.

Graham 31:23

But oh you why?

Scott 31:25

I know what you're going to do at Oakmont. But I will say, folks, that was a pretty dumb moment for me, but nothing takes the cake of Graham Friday night.

Graham 31:41

You know what?

Scott 31:41

And I know he had been a little freaked out. His hand was bleeding everywhere, he had to go get a shot and his fingers sewn back together. But we're talking and I'm like man, there's some good matchups next round and March Madness. And Graham's like okay, when does the second round start? What day next week? And I'm like Graham, what did you just say? Okay, when does the second round start, what day next week? And I'm like Graham, what did you just say? You're like when does the second round start? I'm like you're a co-host of a podcast and you don't know when the second round starts. It's tomorrow, guy.

Graham 32:27

And I will say I thought there was at least a two-day break.

Scott 32:30

And then all I'm going to say about that is we're not going to talk about it anymore, because you know what happens at Fight Club, what Stays at Fight Club, or sorry, whatever. I screwed that up. I'll smack myself. Whatever you get it Dumbest thing I've ever heard come out of his mouth, but anyhow.

Graham 32:57

How about this? I'll lay it on thicker for you. When I made that comment, folks, scott was like hold on, wait what did you just say I'm like, what do you mean wait?

Announcer 33:06

what did you? Just say, I'm like what do you mean? What did I just say?

Graham 33:09

bro, we have a podcast together. Don't you fucking know when these games are? I'm like dude, I'm tired. I've been through a lot of shit. My brain ain't working right now.

Scott 33:21

I'm just asking a question to ask, and what was my response to that?

Graham 33:24

I wish I knew word for word. I'm just asking a question and what was my response to that? I wish I knew word for word Something to the effect of you should know, You're like Graham, this is by far the dumbest thing you've ever said. It was, and I was like I don't know, bro, I've said some pretty dumb shit before Nope, nothing worse than that, nothing, zero, zilch.

Scott 33:54

All right, let's go to another topic. I don't even know what the fuck it's going to be, but it's not going to be the fact that you didn't know.

Graham 34:03

All right, that's fine.

Scott 34:05

As we're sitting here is there one? Transitioning, the score is 80 to 78,. 25 seconds left Arizona's up to oh shit. And last time I checked what does 78 plus 80 equal Graham?

Graham 34:17

158.

Scott 34:22

Winner over one 51 and a half.

Graham 34:31

Anyhow, I'm glad someone's winning their bets. Why am I? I should be picking over points, not these damn winners.

Scott 34:34

Oh my god, these games it's been dude everything I've been reading on social media platforms. It's been a brutal week for gamblers.

Graham 34:44

Oh dude, vegas is like show me the money. Yeah, brutal.

Scott 34:51

Another fun thing that happened last night was well, first off, we had my daughter's birthday party. I can't tell her happy birthday yet because her birthday is in a couple of days. We just did it early with the family, that was my weekend.

Announcer 35:05

Thanks for asking me about my weekend, you selfish son of a.

Scott 35:10

Anyhow, graham and I literally last night discussed this for a long time and I saw this on the Graham and it was every NFL team's regular season wins over the last 10 years Regular season. And you know, obviously I'm looking at the numbers and I'm asking Graham who it is. So obviously it's a no brainer in my mind. If you would have asked me the question it would have been the same Graham. But I'm looking at it and what was the first thing I told you the craziest thing to me was the teams that are tied for second Right and the team that's if that's first, it's second, it's third, it's fourth, the team that that's sixth. Those were the things that were mind blowing to me. So, graham, last 10 years regular season wins who's sitting there at number one in the NFL regular season chiefs chiefs at 123 wins.

Graham 36:24

I mean no surprise. And the worst part is is last night, after you know, having multiple beverages and you know, maybe a little herbal medication, my guesses were not very spot on. That's why I was like who are these teams Right? And the worst part is, every time, scott, you ask me a question something like this, and the way you word it, it sometimes makes me feel like, oh, it's not the obvious teams, it's someone else, or it's not my team, it's someone else.

Scott 37:00

I just have to ask you a question because of what you just said. It's how I word it. Okay, I see you, ingas, over there looking across the country to me in virginia. Okay, as you're looking at me, I just have to say I'm not just all good, looks, bro, I got brains and there's a method to my madness. Okay, you gotta, I mean, just accept that and move on. Okay, oh, my God, and that might be the greatest line ever in the history of the bald guys on the bench- I don't know.

NFL Teams' 10-Year Win Records

Graham 37:42

We've had a few gems. Ain't nothing better than that Anyhow? Oh, because you're complimenting yourself, no, just because of the look on your face when you about shit yourself.

Scott 37:52

When I said that, oh dude, turn the game on who? Arizona's up one with 10 seconds left, inbound 10 seconds, they just got fouled. Wow so Oregon scored. So back to number six. The crazy one for me the Vikings. The Vikings sitting there at 99 wins. You got the best team in the last 10 years the Chiefs at 123. The Vikings at 99. Think about that Right.

Graham 38:26

In the last 10 they had a few.

Announcer 38:28

Really yeah. Definite good years, last year, because they had yeah.

Graham 38:33

But I'm like.

Scott 38:35

Yeah, tied for second.

Graham 38:37

I mean, who was the Vikings quarterback 10 years ago?

Scott 38:41

Favre. Maybe Was Favre playing 2015? He might have retired before then. I don't know. No, I might have retired before then?

Graham 38:48

I don't know. No, I think he retired before then. Yeah, I'm trying to think. Is that a ponder? No, because they wouldn't have won that many games with him, bridgewater was probably like five years ago.

Scott 39:02

Yeah, you thought the team with the second most wins and I kind of would have thought that too, not looking at the numbers would be the Ravens. Yeah, but you're not far off. They were only off one win from time to second. But you asked me when I was asking you this, you were like where are my Steelers at? Like in 15th out of the whole league? Yeah, I think it was around 15.

Graham 39:35

No, no, I said 15 because, like I said, I was a little buzzed up last night.

Scott 39:39

I'm just like 15th place and wins out of 32 teams and you haven't had a losing season in how long. Well, since Tomlin's been there and I surprised Graham with the Steelers and the Bills tied for second with the most wins in the last 10 years in regular season, with 101.

Graham 40:00

Yeah, and after you said that, I'm thinking to myself. I'm like well, 101. I was like we had a few seasons where we were 8 and 8. But yeah, most of those were either 9 and 7 or 10 plus. So if you think about it, we averaged 10 wins a season and I'm just like wow.

Scott 40:16

And then, what did I say to you?

Graham 40:23

Well, you just really took the wind out of my sails. But you said that to have that many wins in 10 seasons, that is a definite indictment on Mike Tomlin as a head coach.

Scott 40:38

With the talent y'all have had.

Graham 40:42

Yes, and my response which?

Scott 40:47

I get it. Last year was an injury year.

Graham 40:50

No, and I'm not even saying last year, I'm just saying and look, and Tomlin says it all the time I get it Next man up, it doesn't matter, you got to play with the guys you got, and I get that. It's not the best team, it's the healthiest team. I get that it's not the best team, it's the healthiest team. I get that. But there's multiple years and I will sound like a homer right now and I don't give a shit.

Scott 41:13

Hey, you've earned that right.

Graham 41:15

When you lose Antonio Brown to CTE from Perfect, when you don't have your number one wide receiver, when you don't have your number one running back and you've had them all season and then they get hurt in the playoffs, what do you think is going to happen?

Scott 41:29

Or they get hurt right before the playoffs. I'm going to go simpler than that. If you have, a future Hall of Fame quarterback that played his entire career with the franchise he retires. Then you draft someone that probably shouldn't have been drafted in the first round and throw the keys to the franchise on his back. Good luck.

Graham 41:58

Look, I totally understand. But the thing like with Kenny Pickett, it was a combination of he was in their facility.

Scott 42:09

At that he was a lottery ticket. He's right there, the Steelers had to scratch it.

Graham 42:15

He look. He should have gone in the second round and people forget. A lot of people forget Kenny Pickett was the first quarterback taken that year right. A lot of people forget Kenny Pickett was the first quarterback taken that year Right. That being said, he really should have gone in the second, but with Pittsburgh picking at like 22, they couldn't risk him not being there. So unless they took someone else and then traded up in the second round. It's like you know what I mean. Like I can't fault them for taking a shot on Pickett. You know what I mean.

Announcer 42:48

Like you got to do it. You can't.

Scott 42:51

Yes, you can't.

Graham 42:54

And plus the last year with Pickett at Pitt, like he was ACC player of the year. He was that guy. And plus you're already in the building you play at Heinz Field for your home pick games. It's one of those situations where one plus one equals two. I've said it since day one.

Scott 43:16

They had to, had to Right. Didn't Mason Rudolph start off the year as the quarterback though the starter week one, and then they put in Pickett week five or six or something like that, and then he came back and won and then it was everybody all over the Kenny Pickett show and then y'all got in the playoffs. I mean Y'all got in the playoffs. I mean I'll never forget the dime he threw to Najee in Seattle the last week of the season. Y'all had to win. It wasn't a long pass, but it was a short and tight spaces accurate AF pass.

Graham 43:59

Yeah, and then Dude the game against Baltimore, and then that was no. No, towards the end of the season. Najee dude the game against Baltimore, and then that was Towards the end of the season.

Scott 44:05

That past Nazi dude in Seattle I mean oh no, in that situation.

Graham 44:15

Like the kid has talent.

Scott 44:16

I mean Now y'all gonna be fired up in the Steel City waving them towels, rooting on my boy, aaron Rodgers. Six-hour meeting.

Graham 44:28

Are we and left with no contract.

Scott 44:31

Six hours yesterday in Pittsburgh. I'd like to welcome to Pittsburgh now, starting at quarterback, the one dude in the National Football League that dumped Danica Patrick and hates his mom. Everybody welcome Aaron Rodgers to the facility.

Graham 44:54

Or I save you from having to take a shot and we trade for Kirk Cousins. You're not trading for him it's going to be a release and sign thing You're not trading for him. I know, I know, I know.

Scott 45:06

But anyhow, Graham, we got to talk about real quick the podcast NCAA March Madness Pool, Dude 21 people.

Graham 45:17

Yes, let's do it.

Scott 45:18

Let's go Love it. A lot of our closest friends, some family, as we sit right now. Well, the game just ended. Right now Arizona won. I'm going to jump on real quick and see what the actual up-to-date rankings are. I believe you were in first Sucks to suck because you can't win. Well, I mean, I need some other shit to happen. Yeah, uh, so ineligible people in first place, elliot, let's go. Elliot row, one of my students down at the club. Uh, super smart sports guy, but he's sitting there at first, or sorry, he's tied with matt, big matt, lawless and bucky. Oh, your boy is leading the pack at fifth place, even though I'm not eligible. But you know, graham, you're done, but you're not gonna win, even though you're not going to win, even though you're not eligible, because I think two teams you had in your final four lost.

Graham 46:28

Hey, there's more games to be played. People can lose and hopefully I mean how many people pick Duke is the real question A lot Well, as you're asking me, one, two, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.

Scott 46:49

8 out of 21 pick Duke yeah, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. 7 pick Florida. We had a couple.

Graham 47:13

Auburns what Well, I finished top three last year. Right, I know I placed. I know for a fact I won money. Not sure. Not sure I know I placed. I know for a fact I won money. Not sure, but once again, well, I was leading Dude. I only missed one game out of the first, the first round Last year.

Scott 47:36

Same with Buckeye this year. Out of the 64-32 but your max points you can get Is 14-10, just because of St John's and Iowa State. Elliot, the person in sixth is 1790. So you know we still got it.

Graham 47:55

So I need Florida to lose and I need miracles to happen.

Scott 47:57

Basically, Basically everyone.

Graham 48:04

Victory is mine.

Wrestling Champions and Episode Close

Scott 48:08

Anyhow, we're sitting here at 48 minutes and Graham's going to try to edit this tonight and he's tired Is he. We might jump on for a few minutes Wednesday, talk about the next round matchups. But the next round matchups are solid. Um, I don't know. You got anything else you want to chat about? Oh, we can't. I would feel bad as a sports nerd If I didn't mention this. Oklahoma state wrestler wins the national championship.

Graham 48:41

Oh yes.

Scott 48:41

They're calling it the biggest upset in NCAA wrestling history. The dude he beat in the gold medal winner in the Olympics. I thought I saw something. I'm like don't hold me to this Like he never lost a college match, Like Bro the guy, yeah, dude is multiple year National champion, national championship.

Graham 49:07

The craziest thing is also on top of that, because that was heavyweight Team title. Well, no, I wasn't going to team, I was going to go individual. I think it's two weight classes down individual. I think it's two weight classes down. Um, you know, gotta represent fucking pennsylvania my boy from, and my boy and I can't think of what his name is right now but um, the first ever five-time national championship, penn state wrestler never lost in college. That's insane. You're that good. That's what the dude that lost to a heavyweight was, and you, I know, all right.

Scott 49:52

So here's something real quick Show me your hands. Show me your hands, let's go. I'm going to ask you a question. I only see one. Who won, graham? You lied to me last night when you looked something up. You knew that, though that was obvious who won the NCAA championship and Division I wrestling this year. The team the team, why?

Graham 50:28

Well, I can tell you who it's not. That shit school from East Carolina.

Scott 50:38

That was the question from last night. You, son of a bitch, come on who won the wrestling?

Graham 50:45

championship Penn.

Scott 50:45

State Great guess? Yeah, they did. You had no fucking clue, but anyhow.

Graham 50:50

Penn State is a national powerhouse. Of course they won, bro. Of course they won.

Scott 50:59

How do you look at me across the country with a straight face and say, of course they won, when you had no clue and you just threw a piece of pepperoni on the wall and it stuck?

Graham 51:08

I told you they had the national champion five years in a row.

Scott 51:13

One weight class.

Graham 51:15

You did one weight class.

Scott 51:15

Did.

Announcer 51:15

I not just say that three minutes ago.

Scott 51:17

But then you couldn't name who won the goddamn team championship.

Graham 51:20

Well, it's Well, he's a black guy Today. Junior.

Scott 51:28

As I quote Adam Sandler I hope everybody saw the trailer for Happy Gilmore 2. So good, july 25th, yet Hopefully it doesn't break Netflix like the stupid fight with Mike Tyson and that social media retard. But anyhow, right folks, it's late, it's what's supposed to be a short episode. Graham, I love you. I love you on the podcast with you, even though you say stupid shit and don't realize when the second round of the NCAA championship is and oh my Lord, I said the wrong name, all right, or the wrong date, whoopity.

Scott 52:13

You said the wrong.

Graham 52:15

Yeah.

Scott 52:16

I mean you call the sky green and the grass blue.

Graham 52:21

Hey, hey, it's for horses that's going to win the West, or what? What did you say? I said are the Knights winning the West, or what we're going to win?

Scott 52:32

the Pacific. We're probably not going to win the West, but whatever we got that dove three in a row at home Nice change of subject.

Announcer 52:44

Audrey speaking of change of subject.

Scott 52:46

You're welcome. We're not even going to mention what you said in a text thread, but anyhow.

Graham 52:54

Hey, on a side note, am I going to beat her, at least?

Scott 52:57

Well, she has. Her max is 1370, years is 1410, so let's go, audrey, suck it.

Graham 53:10

Wow, that was aggressive. I mean that in the most polite ways, by the way.

Announcer 53:14

Anyhow, Just saying that talking shit, get us out of here.

Scott 53:18

Another fun episode. Latest shit on a Sunday night, but thank God I ain't got to work tomorrow.

Graham 53:27

A lot of laughs. What did we even talk about? We talked a lot about PGA.

Scott 53:33

Tour players. Danny Willett Hitting it so close to the flag. We call it Graham Dick Tight. That was pretty good. Hey, 12 feet is tight. That was pretty good, and a 12 feet is tight. Anyhow, folks, I love you. This is one of my favorite episodes of all times and don't care if you like it or you don't like it, but I had fun, graham had fun, and I guarantee you TP will be texting me when you release this and he listens to it and be like you guys are absolute morons. But you know what? I embrace it. My albino friend on the other side of the country. Embraces it and let's have a good time outside of the country. Embraces it and let's have a good time. And, by the way, as I send everybody out Andy hashtag, w H O, good night friends, bubba Scott, it's always a pleasure.

Graham 54:36

I had an absolute blast tonight and, as the best homie always says, bubba.

Scott 54:42

And I messed up how we normally do it. You normally say that and then I say goodnight friends, but it is 1230. I'm a vodka deep Couple beers, graham. I love you. Goodnight friends, andy. Same message.

Announcer 55:01

Who. This episode of the Bald Guys on the Bench podcast is brought to you by our friends at Northstar Credit Union and Southern Auto, located in Southeast Virginia.