"Let's Talk About the F-Words"
Podcast Page: https://entrepreneurssource.com/podcasts/
In this episode of the Possibilities, Options & Dreams" Podcast: Ep-6 “Common Obstacles to Your Financial Freedom” The F-Words, Chapter 3 Your Career 2.0, Melissa, Marissa and Tamara do a deep dive into Chapter 3 of "Your Career 2.0, A Survival Guide for the Battered Career and Investor Syndrome".
Chapter three is all about what holds you back, common obstacles in the way of financial freedom and your financial freedom.
Podcast Page: https://entrepreneurssource.com/podcasts/
Welcome to the top career ownership podcast! Now you can watch or listen on the go to the industry’s most insightful minds on all things business and career ownership. We hope you’ll tune in regularly! Based on the best-selling book for successful and emerging entrepreneurs “Take Ownership of your Career 2.0, A Survival Guide for the Battered Career and Investor Syndrome” POD – Possibilities, Options & Dreams fosters meaningful connections, empowering aspiring entrepreneurs to identify, pursue and achieve their dream of self-sufficiency.
Chances are that you are interested in this Podcast because you are among the 75% of the population that is seeking self-sufficiency. Most likely you have a desire to find a better way and to improve your current situation. Perhaps you are tired of being a victim of the Battered Career Syndrome® or the Battered Investor Syndrome® which keep people going back to hopeless situations with the expectation that this time around they will be different–that the job and the stock markets will go back to the heydays enjoyed in years past.
More in This Episode:
“This is honestly one of my favorite chapters. I’m so excited that we’re talking about it today. What a great title right? We’re going to be talking about F words. And I’m sure some individuals are scratching their head like wait; what kind of F-Words? When individuals embark on the road towards self-sufficiency and Financial Freedom and realize that they can break free from the hamster wheel of corporate America and truly create the future that they’ve always dreamed of for themselves and their families. I think they start to feel emotions that maybe they haven’t felt in a while things like excitement, freedom, right! Having the freedom for their future possibilities, just to name a few. And that’s really exciting. But on the flip side, I think it’s safe to say that the road also includes some obstacles and challenges that they may face. And that’s what we call the F words.” –Marissa Frois
“Fear is a very common emotion, I don’t think we’d be human if we didn’t experience it in some way, shape, or form. But I think the key is to come to terms with the emotion and make sure that we don’t let our emotional brain make decisions for us. Rather, what if we took a fact-based approach and just for a moment challenged what we’re thinking and feeling? You guys have heard what the acronym fear stands for, right: FEAR is false evidence appearing real.” –Tamara Loring
Read more about this episode: https://entrepreneurssource.com/podcast/possibilities-options-dreams-ep-6-the-f-words-020222/
Hey pod peeps, welcome back to the possibilities options and dreams podcast with the entrepreneurs source where we empower individuals to identify, pursue and achieve their dreams of self sufficiency. Mary and Mel here to kick things off today. Awesome. And we're glad to be back. And we're not only it's not just us in the studio, we're also talking with Marissa Fry's and Tamara Loring. We're really excited to pick their brains today and have a very invigorating conversation around the F words. And we'll learn a little bit more about what that is in just a second. But Marissa Froy strategic integrator tomorrow Loring brand ideology, Do you guys mind introducing yourselves a little bit and what you guys do with CES with the entrepreneurs stores? Yeah, sure. Do you want me to go first? Go for it. Okay, awesome. Yeah. Thanks, lady. So my name is Marissa fois. I'm the strategic integrator here at the entrepreneur source. I've been with the organization, it'll be 11 years in February. But my role today as the strategic integrator, I think is a lot of fun. So we have some great visionaries here at our organization. We are an entrepreneurial run organization. And sometimes visionaries are always looking at that next big idea, which is wonderful. But they need that individual that can kind of help bring it down a few steps and help make it a reality. Let's make sure we're thinking of all the big pieces that need to come into play to make this real, let's prioritize everything may be tested out first, and then be able to launch something system wide. And so that's really my job as the strategic strategic integrator, really working with our visionary and the rest of the team to help prioritize what we call our rocks throughout the quarter, and then throughout the year, and then take those baby steps to help make those things reality. So I loved what I've done this, these entire 11 years, and I'm looking forward to many more. And I'm excited to chat with everyone today. And without Marissa like nothing would get done. So she is a crucial, I don't know. And t as brand ideology. What tell us a little bit about what you do. Yeah, that sounds like quite a fancy title, right? Like what on earth does that even mean? But I'm really honored that Terry entrusted me with the ideology for our system, because what we do here at the entrepreneur source is so counterintuitive, so counter common wisdom. Our worldview is about creating possibilities. It's about reinventing yourself. So I feel I get to be the kid in the candy store that I am in charge and entrusted with making sure that we uphold our brand promise that we're in alignment with our mission and our values. So whether I get to work with the folks in the marketing department or the ops team or the training team or the people in support, it's always making sure that we connect with our why why we get up every single day. And it's about helping people pursue their dreams and living the best life ever. So that's what I do as Brent ideologists. We love it. And we're just so glad to have both of you guys here today, as Mary said, talking about again, diving into Chapter Three of the your career 2.0 book, a survival guide for the battered career and investor syndrome. And chapter three is all about what holds you back common obstacles in the way of financial freedom and your financial freedom. So I'm gonna pass it over to you, Marissa and just kind of give us the background on this and, you know, describe to the everyone Sorry, I'm like rambling now. I'm gonna pass it over to you. Marissa, give us a little. No, thank you. Thank you. This is honestly one of my favorite chapter. So I'm so excited that we're talking about it today. And I mean, what a great title right? We're going to be talking about F words. And I'm sure some individuals are scratching their head like wait, what kind of efforts and we're going to talk more about that. But when individuals embark on the road towards self sufficiency and financial freedom, and really realize that they can break free from the hamster wheel of corporate America and truly create the future that they've always dreamed of for themselves and their families. I think they start to feel a motion that maybe they haven't felt in a while things like excitement, freedom, right having the freedom for their future possibilities, just to name a few. And that's really, really exciting. But on the flip side, I think it's safe to say that the road also includes some obstacles and challenges that they may face. And that's what we at Te es call the F words. So on the road to your financial independence, most of these F words could definitely hold you back if you're not careful with that. And so we want to talk more about that really create awareness for these F words, and help individuals move forward past these obstacles so they could see, you know, the future that they're envisioning for themselves and their family. I would say it's pretty normal to experience some of these F words, but making sure that you don't let them kill your dream is what's going to be key. And the important thing to remember is that if you can, the important thing to remember to overcome all of these roadblocks is to focus on the most important effort of all, and that's your financial freedom. But let's talk about a few of these F words that someone may face on the road to career ownership. So T, I think one of the most common emotions that we hear is fear. But that's normal right there. It's normal to feel some fear as you're looking towards self sufficiency. So can you talk a little bit more about fear, the types of fear someone may face and how to best overcome some of these fears? Of course, I'd be happy to fear is a very common emotion, I don't think we'd be human if we didn't experience it in some way, shape, or form. But I think the key is to come to terms with the emotion and make sure that we don't let our emotional brain make decisions for us. Rather, what if we took a fact based approach and just for a moment challenged what we're thinking and feeling? You guys have heard what the acronym fear stands for, right? The What if what you're thinking and feeling is based on false evidence appearing real, what a fear is false evidence appearing real. So I love it. When we talk about you know, just be careful not to believe everything that you're thinking and feeling. Because just because I'm thinking it or believing it, it may actually not be true. For instance, when you do something new and scary, doesn't necessarily mean that it's wrong or bad. Just because you've never done it before. You know, doesn't mean it's wrong. But our instincts would make it seem like that the problem with decisions is we wouldn't have a problem making decisions if we could be very certain that we always have the ability to make a good or a right decision. But often what keeps us making from making a decision at all, is fear, the fear that it will be a bad decision or a wrong decision. So many times what helps me is when I realized that when I tried to be perfect, that goal is always going to be elude me. Now, what I do have the ability to do is I have the ability to make the best possible choice, the most informed choice, right, scary or not. And then once I've made the choice, I need to go to work and make it right decision. So what are the things that I love, if you happen to have the book, your career 2.0, when you flip to the chapter three, it will talk about the different emotions that we experience as it relates to fear and really helps us come to terms with what fear really means. For some people, it may be the fear of change that keeps them trapped. For others. It's the fear of the unknown, like maybe business ownership or what it takes to become financially free or self sufficient. And ironically enough, for some people, it's actually even the fear of success. I know that sounds crazy or counterintuitive, but I've even witnessed and experienced some of that myself, the fear of success, you know, if I'm really good at it, what will it mean? How will impact my life? What expectations will I need to live up to? So hopefully, Marissa, that helps a little bit as we just think about what fear really means. And what could stop you in your tracks? Yeah, no, it does. Thank you for that explanation. And I think, for people listening in fear is normal, right? But if you could just remember that fear is false evidence appearing real and don't let that hold you back is going to be crucial for you continuing to explore those possibilities to help you move forward. Along with fear, frustration, may be another emotion that comes up along the journey. So there's two types of frustrations that we talked about in chapter three. Can you provide a little bit more detail here and how you can actually use frustration positively in this journey? Sure. Sure. So like you said, there are two types of frustration, right? There's the healthy kind of frustration that can actually be a motivator. Like, for instance, if I'm frustrated with my current job, because it doesn't matter how hard I work, I just don't see a way to be able to create long term wealth and equity for me and my family, if that isn't important to me. So in an instance, like that frustration can be the frustration of being stuck on the hamster wheel can actually be the thing that motivates me, it sparks me to want to find a different way. So that is the healthy kind of frustration, we often use the example of a pearl, I don't know whether you guys have heard, or even ever thought about how a pearl is formed. It starts off with a grain of sand and an oyster. And it's an irritant that over time then turns into this beautiful treasure. So if you think about the frustration you're experiencing right now, and think, perhaps there's a reason for it, perhaps this is what I need to experience so that I am motivated to change for the better. So that is the healthy kind of frustration that can actually propel you to do something that breaks you free from this rat race, or this never ending hamster wheel where you're not making any progress. And then, of course, the other kind of frustration, right? That is the unhealthy kind. That's the kind that absolutely paralyzes you, it's actually robs you of the ability to think clearly, you may be feeling at that moment in time that oh, my gosh, anything and everything is insurmountable and nothing is possible. When you're feeling like that you may not even see any solutions or potential pathways forward. And even though I don't have a magic wand that can make everybody's troubles and concerns manage. What I can do is encourage you to become aware of your mindset. When you're thinking that. I think it was Henry Ford that said, whether you think you can or whether you think you can't either way, you're right. So think back to the acronym I just mentioned, what if fear is simply false evidence appearing real. I love it when out founder talks about, you know, turn your frustration into fascination. And I have to tell you guys, every time I feel frustrated, and I think, wow, instead of isn't this frustrating? Wow, isn't this fascinating? How can this possibly be true? I feel like that almost is the magic. Because just like magic, my perspective starts changing when I think of something being fascinating, rather than frustrating. And my attitude changes. And then the amazing thing that happens is rather than just seeing obstacles and things feeling insurmountable, I start seeing things for what they are, I start seeing solutions, I start getting inspired, and I can start seeing what's possible. So yeah, those are the two types of frustration, the unhealthy kind that could actually trap you, and the healthy kind that actually propels you to move forward. Yeah, that's awesome. T thank you so much. I'm so glad that you spoke about the frustration into fascination because that is that's one that our visionary says often and I've used that so much in work life, but even in my personal life, too, right? When you're frustrated, I just take a deep breath and say, Okay, how can I turn this frustration into fascination? And kind of get my mindset in the right space? So I'm, I'm so glad that you brought that one up, that these next two F words are probably my favorite, because I think it's so astonishing when people read it in the chapter. And that's friends and family could be an F word right? What we call crabs in the basket, which I know you're going to talk a little bit more about. But I think for an individual, you are on cloud nine, you're so excited you're exploring these possibilities of your future, why wouldn't friends and family be on board with that? And kind of experience that excitement with you? Right? But is that always the case? are friends and family always as excited as the individual T? What are your thoughts on that? Oh, gosh, yeah, we probably could write an entire book on just that phenomena. So we actually even have a postcard that explains the phenomena and it says you know, any resemblance to your family and friends is purely metaphorical, right, referring to them as friends. With one crab in the basket, you need a lid but filled with crabs, there is no need when one tries to climb out, the others will pull it down. So while it's important to share your dreams with family and friends, they may not always understand or support you. Often when trying to be supportive, caring family members or friends can pull you down. That does not mean that they don't love you or care about you. It's a normal reaction to change. So is it normal? Does it happen? Absolutely. So the real question is really, why? Why does this happen? So what I've seen is let's say you're frustrated with your career and and you feel like you're in a dead end job. Many times people internalize that and they think it must be me. Maybe I'm just not qualified enough, maybe I'm not good enough. And God forbid I share with my spouse or my significant other how unhappy I am with my job, right? It's one more worry for them to you know, digestive. Let me just deal with it myself. So as I know that life cannot go on like this, I may start learning and exploring and educating myself on how to break free from this hamster wheel. The challenge with that is if I don't share how I'm thinking and feeling with my significant others, as I'm starting to evolve, as I'm starting to see different possibilities. And then one day, I say to Mike, Hey, Mike, you know what, I think I'm going to start a business, my own business, or I'm going to quit my job and do that. He's gonna think like, oh, my gosh, tomorrow, did you just go mad? Where did that come from? Right. So in that instance, how can I expect him to support me if I've been going on this journey by myself and solitude? So it is good to involve significant others and spouses so that they can at least understand what you're thinking and feeling? And even if they're not the ones who have this dream to be self sufficient? Or they're not the ones who have the dream to be a business owner? At the very least, they can be supportive, but if you suddenly just bring it on them? Yeah, they're gonna think you just went berserk or not. Right? Yeah. So that is one instance that I see. And I'm sure you've got stories to tell, or Mal and Mary, you probably I have stories to share there, too. Yeah, 100%, I think the friends and family one is so interesting, because you think, Oh, my gosh, they of course, they'd be the most supportive, or whatever it is. But going back to that whole mindset shift, it's just almost subconscious. And a lot of times, too, I feel it's just part, it can be part of just the family story. You know, like, for example, I don't like just within our family, like, it's just normally we go, you go out, you get a job, you work and you're just working towards retirement. And, you know, there is that kind of mentality, that that's the way it should be. And again, that's kind of how you grew up, and what we learn in school, and all these different things, my friends, there's not a lot of them who are like, entrepreneurial, or striking out and starting their own business. So it's also just part of the story that we tell ourselves that that's part of our family. So but being able to, actually, you could actually be the catalyst in your family, that kind of changes that narrative. But you also do want to make sure that you kind of bring them along for the ride as well. And I think that's a great point, too. Yeah. And what one of the things that you just spoke about makes me think, you know, just because it's different, doesn't mean it's wrong. So if your current career is giving a lot of pleasure giving you purpose, and you know, you're happy, then so be it. But if it doesn't do that, it's time to look for alternatives. But yes, especially in families where maybe the tradition has been go to school, get our higher education, get a job, you know, climb the corporate ladder. I mean, this is a completely different way of thinking. So you know, just because they're not familiar with it doesn't necessarily mean it's wrong. The other thing it makes me think of like, why would family and friends maybe not support you? I don't know. But could there maybe be a little jealousy? Could it be that, you know, our friends and family wants us to do well, as long as we're not doing any better than them? I mean, I don't know. I hope it's not the key. Were any of us. But it's, you know? Yeah, yeah, for sure. And I think too, it's so right for on this session, we're talking about all of these F words. But I think it's important to, to your point earlier about allowing them to be part of the journey, because if you are experiencing some of these efforts, chances are your loved ones are just looking out for your own best interests. That's normal, right. And maybe they'll experience some of these same F words that we've spoken about today. So being able to be part of that journey, and really helped to overcome some of these. What could be obstacles that we're discussing today? I think it's just as important not only for yourself, but for your loved ones that want to kind of see the best for you, and understand that part of the journey. So I think it's important. Yeah. You know, and it's a challenge, right? Because most of us don't really want to upset our family members are our last one. So you know, my best advice would just be always seek the truth. Don't let fear determine your future. Make sure that you go and gather the facts. And we have something we call the magic question. Like, what if you were to find out that what you thinking and feeling isn't really true, would that make a difference? So just go out and see what others say. Right? I always say especially when it comes to business ownership. Let's let's explore and find out from people who actually went into business themselves what they do Get and what are the challenges? What are the you know? Are they able to be financially free? Were they able to pursue their goals and hit them? So just seek the truth? Just seek the truth. Don't let fear or the because you're scared? Because you've never done it before, stop you in the tracks of you know pursuing what could be possible? Absolutely. Yep. Great advice. Okay, so I think I saved one of the best F words for last. And that's finances, right? It's an F word that has probably been on most people's mind from the very beginning of starting this journey, the finances of investing in self sufficiency. Maybe you're asking yourself questions like, can I even afford to do this? Do I have to use my life savings to do this? Maybe your credit isn't the best. And you're thinking because of that it's going to prohibit you from moving forward. I think all of that all of those are are normal questions that people ask themselves. So tea, can you help those individuals out? That may be asking themselves those questions on moving forward and really helping see past those, because at the end of the day, they're not really roadblocks for individuals exploring self sufficiency. Ya know, and it seems reasonable, right? If I said, Look, I don't know that I have enough money. But here's the funny thing. We've spoken to some people who said, Do you know what I don't know that I'm in a financial position to actually let's say, start a business for myself? And then you find out that their net worth is, you know, two or 3 million? I'm like, wait a minute, how much do you think it takes to start a business? Right? So it's perspective, sometimes, what I have found is money, or the lack of financial resources should never be the reason why you don't at the very least, pursue your dream of independence of self sufficiency. Whether there's a dream, trust me. And if the desire is strong enough, money always seems to find a way the government even has incentives through the SBA and other types of programs to help first time business owners or to help veterans or to help minorities. So don't let money be the reason why you don't dare to dream. Everybody has a dream worthwhile pursuing. And then the next thing is, educate yourself about the possibilities, look, maybe your credit is in bad shape. And you know, you need to work on that. So I'm not saying that the road to independence is going to be easy. But we need to be committed to following and pursuing our dream and get educated about options. And then you may actually be surprised when you find out for instance, when we work with our clients, so many of them don't think they have the financial means to do something. And when they find out that so many small businesses are actually funded through retirement plans. Most of them say, Well, no, that's probably illegal, or that is not for me, or I'm not old enough yet. So I'm going to have all these penalties. Not necessarily true. So many small businesses are actually funded through rollovers. And what surprises people is the fact that they actually have access to capital, they just don't know it. So again, don't believe what you think, necessarily, because it may not be true. Go out and seek the truth. Get educated. And let's see what's possible. Thank you so much, Mary. Yeah, no, I a couple of things. You said they're just about don't let finances be the reason that you don't dream and also to educate yourself on the possibilities. And I think if someone has, I almost see these as like building blocks, right? So maybe start with yourself, what's that fear? False Evidence Appearing Real for yourself? What is it that you're telling yourself? I can't own a business? Because I can't go into self sufficiency. You know, I can't achieve self sufficiency, because, and start there. And then once you you're aligned with yourself, Okay, do I want self sufficiency so much that I'm willing to work through these different fears, these different efforts, then when you go to your family, right, whether they're supportive, whether they're critical, whatever it might be, if they're voicing the concerns that you've already worked through, you can say thank you, right? I know, you're coming from a place of love, but I'm gonna keep doing this anyway. And then same with the finances, right? If again, it's I can't go into business for myself, because I'm not financially stable enough, or I have to be at this milestone. Okay, take that for what that is. But like you said, there's no harm and at least educating yourself and what those possibilities are, and then you can back into it. Right? It might not be you, you open up a business tomorrow, but at least now you know what you have to do to get there and just breaking down those barriers one by one, I think it comes down to the education and being willing to explore what the options are so that you can achieve your end goal. At the very least, even if you just take that one formula we spoke about right and rather than being frustrated that I can't do this, I can't do that. And I will never be able to do you know X, Y and Z and be financially free. Turn that frustration into fascination. Wow. I wonder how other Just have done that was everybody who's a business owner today. You know, were they born wealthy? Or were they able to bootstrap it? And were they able to surround themselves with dream catchers as opposed to dream stealers? Right? So just at the very least just work on your mindset and say, am I creating a self fulfilling prophecy by telling myself this cannot be done? Or am I seeking possibilities? And am I looking for a way to make it possible? Awesome, thank you t. So earlier, I mentioned one very important effort to keep in mind to really help individuals overcome some of the barriers that we discussed today. And that was financial freedom, which I think is one of the biggest things that people are most excited about when exploring the possibilities. But I think it's important to also talk about another big one. And that's future and moving into the future that you've always dreamed of for yourself and your families. Most people see the gap between their current situation and income and the success they envision in the future, and may say to themselves, I don't know if I could really survive that leap. So if you can provide just one piece of advice to those individuals, maybe, you know, saying that that statement to themselves, what would it be? Yeah, not all efforts need to be scary, right? For instance, financial freedom, fantastic futures. I mean, those are F words that just get me fired up about what's possible. You know, what advice would I give someone, again, I'll go back to everybody has a dream worthwhile pursuing. So my advice would be, don't ever limit yourself, and don't prematurely jump to conclusions about what is and what isn't possible. Give yourself permission to learn, give yourself permission to dream. And hey, why not engage a career transition coach, somebody you could use as a self sounding board, sometimes it's better to have a coach who's not a family member or a friend, because they don't have any of that baggage or proceed. Proceed, no notions about what can or cannot be done. And then the other thing is, if you are going to engage a coach, be open to coaching, allow them to challenge maybe the efforts that you're experiencing, allow them to challenge your limiting beliefs and maybe catch you on a negative mindset, or a limiting mindset. And, and then just see what's possible. I mean, you get one life to live, you might as well may be curious, and may didn't make it an exciting journey. antastic huh. All right. Well, I think we've done a pretty good job talking about some of the most common F words, you know, that that you'll read about in chapter three there. I think, f these efforts we spoke about and these emotions are normal. But what you do with them to move forward and overcome them is going to be key to really educating yourself and just exploring those those streams of self sufficiency. Mel, Mary, anything further that you wanted to add before we sign off for today? No, I think lots of good things. I'm as always listening to T listing tomorrow, so I just get jazzed up and like, Yeah, let's go. But I think, again, you know, there's so much opportunity where that fear that point of fear, where might be a barrier. Instead, it's a place to identify, you know what, it's just something I don't know enough about yet. And it's a path, a very clear path to explore further. So, to everyone out there listening, keep an open mind, and the possibilities are truly endless. Don't let fear determine your feet future. Be careful who you surround yourself with. Go and be with the dream catchers instead of the dream stealers make it a great thing. Amen. And I just again, like love listening and talking about this. Because most like you said, it's it's so normal. And I feel like it's almost so normal that you just kind of brush over it like, Oh, it's just, I just I can't do it. I'm afraid my friends would say no, what are my what's my family gonna think it's just so normal to think it but back to today's point of actually work with one of our coaches, because you don't have to do it alone. Yes, you can go out and, you know, talk to other business owners and explore the different things around finances and things like that. But at the end of the day, you don't have to do it alone. There's people out there who have worked with coaches before. Our coaches have done this so many, many times. And you know, the entrepreneur source for the past 40 years has been in this space of helping people realize that they can achieve their dreams and realize that there's possibilities and options they didn't even realize existed, which is just something like just Think about that for a moment. Anyone who's listening like there are things out there, you haven't even thought of that could help you reach your dreams, whatever that is. So take a minute and just think about oh my gosh, what is it that maybe five years ago, 10 years ago when I was just finishing high school or college things that I thought I would love to do this? And then you thought, No, I'm just going to go get a normal job, because that's what just seems safe. Go back to those dreams. Think about them and actually see, okay, think about what if I could actually do this? What if this was actually possible? What would that mean for me and my family and my life and my future, and all the exciting things so don't be scared of the F words. And the effort to remember is financial freedom and that is 100% possible. So thanks for joining us today as we explore possibilities, options and dreams. Keep an open mind and always remember