Popular phrases that stunt your personal growth.

This episode empowers you to challenge conventional wisdom and redefine phrases embedded in our culture that stunt your personal growth.

Often mistaken for comfort zones, these familiarity zones hinder you from exploring new experiences and opportunities.

This conversation will leave you with a fresh outlook on wealth and happiness as we explore how living in abundance allows us to make decisions and create results that align with our true selves.

Tune in for a perspective shift.

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Transcript

Challenging Limiting Beliefs for Personal Growth

Speaker 1 0:00

Hey Ryan.

Speaker 2 0:01

Hey, alana, let's start the episode.

Speaker 1 0:04

Okay, that sounds awesome.

Speaker 2 0:06

We're going to talk about. We have a list because it's the list season, but we're going to talk about our list of it's like sneaky advice that a lot of people first of all might allow to become a limiting belief. So these are like little seeds that could grow into empowering beliefs, but for a lot of people it's limiting beliefs and these are also in looking at the list. These are, I think, things that people use to enable themselves to avoid facing challenges or being more productive than they otherwise would be.

Speaker 1 0:47

Yeah, yeah. So we're basically going to provide the phrase and how it's commonly interpreted, but then we're also going to give you a challenge to this common misconception about this popular phrase. Do I have that right? I think so.

Speaker 2 1:08

We're going to do that. We're going to spoil the surprise. Alana Banks fine.

Speaker 1 1:18

Well, I mean, we have to hook them early into sticking around and listening. Yeah, if this sounds like a cool episode, then keep listening, because we've got some. I think we've got six, maybe six or seven.

Speaker 2 1:34

What do you mean if, of course, because here's the thing probably some of these no, I guarantee everybody's listening, at least one of these is like swimming around in your subconscious, if not more than one, and they really are things that can inhibit your behavioral flexibility, and they're super, duper common.

Speaker 1 1:52

Yeah, and they're also just phrases you toss around without even thinking about it.

Speaker 2 1:58

Yeah Well, you're never going to do that again after today's episode.

Speaker 1 2:02

Yeah, we're going to unpack them.

Speaker 2 2:06

Yeah, it's like using these expressions without really knowing what they can do. It's like throwing rocks over your shoulder without looking where they're going.

Speaker 1 2:14

I know it could hurt somebody you really could, or really limit someone that you care about with, just like tossing this out. Yeah, so don't do that, yeah, you've got to think about these things.

Speaker 2 2:29

Hey, so you got. You were just telling me, right before we got on the recording here, switched gears for a second. Yeah, you just had yet another person sign up for your new membership.

Speaker 1 2:41

I did. Yeah, we've got a new member in the Ascension Circle, so it's growing, which is exciting. We meet bi-weekly on Tuesdays and basically it's just an opportunity for you to like, bounce ideas around about your business, get some coaching, build community with other people who are doing similar things to you, recognize that you're not alone, overcome some beliefs, limiting beliefs, blocks, fears. It's lots of fun.

Speaker 2 3:13

Cool.

Speaker 1 3:14

Yeah.

Speaker 2 3:15

So you're called Ascension Circle.

Speaker 1 3:16

The Ascension Circle, yeah.

Speaker 2 3:18

The Ascension Circle.

Speaker 1 3:21

The yeah.

Speaker 2 3:22

So get in there, folks.

Speaker 1 3:24

Yeah, get in there. You can follow me at Alana Banks Coaching on Instagram and find out more info about that. I don't have a website for this or anything, but just send me a message if this is something that you want to get into. It's also very affordable.

Speaker 2 3:39

Yeah Too affordable, almost yeah Cool.

Speaker 1 3:45

I'm also wearing our merch, one of the sweatshirts from the no Excuses Outfitters merch store. If you didn't know we had one, you can go check that out in the link in the Instagram profile. Drop from your head into your heart and get grounded in your knowing sweatshirts. I'm actually going to buy a black one for the winter. I'm excited. I decided that this morning Nice.

Speaker 2 4:10

Yeah, the black one's warmer.

Speaker 1 4:12

No, but just like you know, shift gears into, like the darker season.

Speaker 2 4:17

Oh right, Darker colors in the winter? Yeah, people do that. It doesn't make sense to me, but people do it.

Speaker 1 4:23

Yeah, well, I think for me it's just like I don't want to wear. I don't know if I want to wear a white sweatshirt in the winter.

Speaker 2 4:29

I don't want to wear a white sweatshirt ever. It's like and I have a couple of white shirts. It's like how many seconds is it going to be until something stains this frigging shirt?

Speaker 1 4:42

I know it's true. I brought a.

Speaker 2 4:45

I recently brought a white t-shirt or not a white t-shirt, a white dress shirt to the dry cleaner and it came back already stained. Oh from the dry cleaner. Pre stained, ryan Lontis, here's your pre stained white, dry, dry, cleaned, sure, so you don't have to worry. Anyways, I want to read you a comment, not a comment, a message that somebody sent me today about my simple social sanctuary.

Speaker 1 5:12

Oh yeah, I'd love to hear.

Speaker 2 5:14

My social media training, coaching and community for hypnotists, nlp people and coaches. She said I have to say what you offer and specifically, this program is, hands down, the most valuable thing I've received from a coach, a coach period with an exclamation. That's one message she continued to say both the quality of the people you attract to the community and their level of engagement. Exclamation mark. And it goes on from there.

Speaker 2 5:43

But folks, if you, if you haven't signed up for the simple social sanctuary yet and you're a hypnotist or a coach who wants to have a strong online presence on social media and or be surrounded by other like minded individuals who are also success oriented, you really need to sign up for the simple social sanctuary right now. It's still available. If you sign up now, you lock in the price of seven dollars per month. So don't hesitate. Ryanmonticecom, slash Simple Social or just go to RyanMonticecom. You'll see the link. If you don't agree that it's insanely valuable for the price, not only can you cancel any time, I'll refund you the money If you send me a message and be like Ryan you lie.

Speaker 2 6:27

This is not as valuable as you said, I'll give you. Well, yeah, I mean it's good.

Speaker 1 6:31

I think people are silly not to. If you want to up your social media game and get in front of people who are doing similar things and in the in that world, it's a no brainer to sign up for the simple social sanctuary. I'm in there, banks is in there.

Speaker 2 6:47

There's some big names in the Simple Social Sanctuary. If you're in the hypnosis and coaching community, you know you're might be surprised by some of the, some of the familiar faces who are leaders in our industry that you'll see inside the Simple Social Sanctuary. So anyways, let's get into this list yeah, let's do it. Episode two season four yeah.

Speaker 1 7:10

Here we go, okay so are we going to? Start with the comfort zone is not comfortable, or are we going to start with the omelet one? Let's leave the omelet one for later.

Speaker 2 7:18

Okay, let's put that like back burner. For now, let's talk about this. The comfort zone. Okay, number one, number first. The comfort zone is not comfortable.

Speaker 1 7:31

Yeah, so this one. So I was listening to someone and I wish I could remember who it was. I was listening to it, but it was a. It was an interview, I think, with Lewis Howes, and he was interviewing a coach or someone and she was talking about how she hates this phrase, comfort zone, because the comfort zone is not actually a comfortable place, it's a familiar place. So she likes to use the word, the familiarity zone, and that's kind of what spurred the idea for this episode was because I started thinking about that and I'm like, yeah, she's totally right. Like the comfort zone isn't always comfortable for you, but it's familiar and it feels good, but it's probably holding you back from achieving what you want, from like your own personal fulfillment, from learning new skills, from meeting new people, and so, like this fear holds us back and holds us in this familiarity zone because it feels safe and quote unquote comfortable.

Speaker 2 8:35

Yeah, I think the tricky bit for me about this just the existence of the term comfort zone is that it implies that if you're because everybody understands what the comfort zone is right, you don't take risks, you don't do new stuff, you don't get anywhere new right. But it implies that outside of the comfort zone is pain and discomfort and so you know, kind of there's this old belief that perpetuates that, like, success is hard, you want to make more money, you need to work harder, you must. You know there's this unconscious societal connection between suffering and having more in life, which you know. This idea of the existence of a comfort zone, I think, contributes to that. Yeah, you know, to grow you need to produce new behaviors that you haven't produced before. You need to do new things, you need to take risks.

Speaker 2 9:36

But and that may or may not involve some suffering, but the idea that you must suffer or you must be in discomfort constantly when you're on an upward trajectory, I think is not a good belief to have right Like you can be growing and rocker and rolling and doing new stuff and, yeah, sometimes it'll be uncomfortable, but sometimes it'll feel great, you know. Yeah, sometimes it'll be really good to and that really good is happening outside of your so-called comfort zone too, right?

Speaker 1 10:10

Yeah, well, and I would argue too that when you are on the right path, or you know you are like upleveling or whatever you want to call it it's, it often feels perfect, like it's almost like alarming about how, how nice it feels, right, but the discomfort is more on, like, do I keep going? Yeah, if that makes sense.

Speaker 2 10:38

Yeah.

Speaker 1 10:39

Like all of these things happen and click into place and that feels good, but it's just like you'll have a moment where then it feels uncomfortable.

Speaker 2 10:48

Yeah.

Speaker 1 10:50

Anyway, that's where my mind went.

Speaker 2 10:52

Cool, all right. Next, enough of that one, let's go down to you.

Speaker 1 10:56

We're going to skip one and go down to two.

Speaker 2 10:59

Yeah, but the list at least on my screen the list is misnumbered, so we're going to go down to three, because two is blink. Alana's laughing because she knows that's her fault. This poorly formatted document that we're both looking at was it was compiled by Alana Banks. Anyways, she's laughing really hard. Everybody, everybody. They can't see she's losing it over there she's crying.

Speaker 2 11:23

Number three is, if Alana can hold it together, time heals all wounds. Time heals all wounds. Okay, so this is an interesting one. It's kind of true, but it's also super dangerous in that, yeah, I mean, like something bad happens, You're grieving, you're sad, whatever. You know you're in 99 cases out of 100, your own powerful subconscious mind is going to integrate that experience, you know, and life goes on.

Speaker 2 11:55

The problem is, this is a big time generalization Time heals all wounds and a little bit of common sense tells us this is really not true, because, you know, look at how many people in the world and probably this applies to a lot of the people that are listening, and this is applied to me too when stuff has happened, a lot of time has gone by and there's really, you know, residual damage that needs to be healed right.

Speaker 2 12:21

Think about people who suffer from PTSD or people who, you know, have a really hard time getting over an event in their life like the passing of another person or breakup or whatever you know. If somebody's five years outside of a breakup and it's still diminishing their quality of life, I would recommend not telling them hey, time heals all wounds, because clearly it didn't and some other intervention is needed. And you know, when we say time heals all wounds, that kind of gives people the idea well, you know, time has gone by, I still feel bad. Is there something wrong with me? Or does this need to be permanent or whatever? Not good, not great, not ideal, right?

Speaker 1 13:03

Yeah, not empowering, but yeah, like, the challenge to this is that time can soften the pain of a wound but it doesn't always heal it completely. And when I see this I think immediately of grief, right, but everyone kind of like has their own trajectory of like dealing with stuff right, and so over time things get better and feel better. But you're never gonna be completely void of that feeling.

Speaker 2 13:39

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 13:41

It'll sneak up on you here and there, and that's okay, but it's building the tools to deal with it when it comes or when it does arise, because you can't really prescribe a time limit on how you're feeling about anything. It's very individual.

Speaker 2 13:58

Yeah.

Speaker 1 13:59

Because as soon as you prescribe like a timeline, then if you don't meet that timeline, then you think something's wrong with you and that you're broken and yeah, so really, time heals many wounds, but not all, and it's okay to seek help If you want to, or in many cases, it's a really good idea.

Speaker 2 14:23

I don't know if other people experienced this, but when I'm like really into a TV show and then it ends and I like have watched the last episode, I experience noticeable grief. Especially now as I get older and like my taste in storytelling and television programs and movies is getting more and more like specific and like to the point where it's like there's less and less and less media than I'm interested in. And then you know you watch like four or five seasons of a show and really love it and just know that over the horizon like there's nothing else in sight that I want to watch next.

Speaker 2 15:06

That's a pretty sad feeling, but I think in that case like time is the most appropriate remedy, but I'm not going to, like you know, go hire a psychiatrist or a coach or an LP practitioner and be like hey, I did my third watch through Breaking Bad. It ended again and like, yeah, although here's the thing, maybe that would be appropriate. Maybe somebody's hearing this and they and they you know, teach their own.

Speaker 1 15:35

Yeah, but I'm with you. I like I feel that, but it is usually a short lived time span. I find where you're like oh, I was really into having that as part of my routine, and then it's gone.

Speaker 2 15:50

Maybe that's a niche right there. One of our listeners can get into like end of program brief niche and you can take hypnosis and coaching clients to help them move through that.

Speaker 1 16:03

Yeah, there you go.

Speaker 2 16:06

I don't know, I don't know 7 billion people on the planet, anyway there's got to be a bunch of people dealing with us.

Speaker 1 16:13

Yeah, yeah. The question is are they willing to pay?

Speaker 2 16:15

for support, yeah, whether it's a viable niche. Anyways, that's enough of that. What was that? One time Heals always. Yeah, time will as many. But let's not rely on that and let's know that there's not necessarily something wrong with us. If time doesn't yield, we might. We might just have something else to.

Speaker 1 16:34

It softens the. It softens the pain. It can not always Not always Right. Yeah.

Speaker 2 16:42

Depending on the person, depending on the event, cool, okay.

The Relationship Between Money and Happiness

Speaker 1 16:45

Okay. Next one is money can't buy happiness. We kind of talked about this last week when we were talking about happiness, I think. But you know the okay yeah. So money can buy you stability, comfort, opportunities that contribute to an overall well-being, but it can't buy you happiness. It can't buy you that like peace and joy and fulfillment that you're looking for through what money is buying you Right? We did talk about this last week because I was talking about how there's people who have all the things, all the external things that we think equals happiness, but they're broken inside.

Speaker 2 17:29

Yeah, yeah, I mean I think this one, the interesting thing about this expression money can't buy you happiness is that it's very much connected to this like belief or stigma. You know, rich people are evil. If you only care about money, you're wrong or you're bad. There's kind of a lot of like programming, societal programming, like you know, wanting to have more than other people makes you bad, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, and those are all totally subjective opinions, right, like? None of those are objectively true, and I think money can't buy you happiness is kind of like a soft subset or soft sub belief from that you know kind of like series of beliefs.

Speaker 2 18:17

I really don't agree with it because, like if I were to imagine my life right now and I have all the same people in my life, all the same beliefs, all the same desires, all things being equal, but you know, I had significantly less money in the bank, that would be worse, that would be emotionally, it would be distinctly worse. And vice versa, if I was, you know, 80% less, you know wealthy or whatever, and then I were to imagine from there what would it be like if I had five times as much money. That would be distinctly better and I would be happier.

Speaker 1 18:55

Right yeah.

Speaker 2 18:56

So it's like in an extremely literal sense. No, you can't go to a happiness store and purchase a box of happiness, because happiness is a concept. But having money and being and living in abundance gives you the behavioral flexibility and freedom to create the actions, behaviors, decisions and results that will lead you to happiness on your terms in my opinion yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 19:26

I agree with that. I agree with that, and I think too, like you were saying, about those limitations. It's the same thing where people in this field especially like you know, people who are helping other people believe that you know, like they have a hard time charging for their work because they feel, like you know, they should just be providing the service. But that all stems from a limiting belief, too, about money and success.

Speaker 2 19:59

Yeah.

Speaker 1 20:00

Right, and you're not out of integrity by doing this work and charging a good amount for it, because you need to earn a living by doing this work.

Speaker 2 20:13

Yeah, absolutely yeah. Yeah, money can't buy you happiness.

Speaker 1 20:19

Yeah.

Speaker 2 20:19

You know I think Ziggler said it well like you know, all things being equal, you're better off with some money.

Speaker 1 20:27

Yeah.

Speaker 2 20:28

Well, I think it's.

Speaker 1 20:29

I think it's more like money buys you freedom.

Speaker 2 20:32

Yeah.

Speaker 1 20:33

Anything Like if you have money, then you have the freedom to, kind of like, do whatever you want.

Speaker 2 20:39

Yeah.

Speaker 1 20:40

Right, yeah, it buys you peace of mind.

Speaker 2 20:46

Yeah, and it's okay to have lofty financial goals and it's okay to have lofty business goals. It's okay to you know, run a profitable business, Right Totally.

Speaker 1 20:57

Yeah Well, because then you can do like amazing things with your money too. Yeah, like it doesn't mean that you're hoarding it and like doing like you can then sponsor things, you can donate, you can do all kinds of amazing things with all your money.

Speaker 2 21:14

Yeah.

Speaker 1 21:15

Well, all right, we got that one. Yeah, next one. Do you want me to say it, or are you going to say it?

Speaker 2 21:21

You say it.

Speaker 1 21:24

Practice makes perfect. I mean, we've all heard this Practice makes perfect. Yeah, I love the flip side of this.

Speaker 2 21:33

Practice makes progress, not necessarily perfection. Oh, because practice makes perfect implies that we need to be perfect. Okay, yeah, so there's a little bit of like hidden in this one. So practice makes progress, not necessarily perfection. Remember to celebrate your small successes along the way and embrace the imperfections that make you unique.

Speaker 1 21:58

Yeah, I like that. I think that that whole practice makes perfect. It implies the perfection, but it also implies that, like you have to do something over and over and over again to be really good at it, which is true.

Speaker 2 22:15

Well, it limits opportunity to just kind of be good at stuff.

Speaker 1 22:20

Yeah, then, like right off the bat, like yeah, like there's some things that just come to easier than others.

Speaker 2 22:27

Yeah, right, yeah, yeah, I mean this one, yeah, I get it. There's yeah, there's the shame built into you know you need to be perfect, etc. Yeah, I know this one is less harmful than maybe some of the others on the list. Kind of depends on the individual, yeah.

Speaker 1 22:51

I like. I do like the reframe of practice makes progress, because that's also like the 20,000 hour or what is it 10,000 hour rule, where you know if you do something for Wasn't that in Malcolm Gladwell who said that like, if you do something for X amount of hours, then you've perfected it?

Speaker 2 23:10

Yeah, yeah, I don't remember the exact same, but it was something like that.

Speaker 1 23:16

Something like that, yeah.

Speaker 2 23:18

That's like a point of contention.

Speaker 1 23:20

Mm, hmm, I mean it is kind of true, but I don't know if it. I think it's more about Like you know how, how they say, like you can't teach something that you don't know, or or you know you know something when you can teach it, or something like that. That's another thing.

Speaker 2 23:41

Well, the expression I know is if, like, if you really want to understand something, teach it to somebody else.

Speaker 1 23:46

Yes, that's what I'm thinking of. Yeah, so I really like that and I think that fits with this, because it's like the more you do something and the more you integrate it and really understand it, then the more quote unquote perfect you are at doing that because it just feels natural. Yeah, and when something feels natural, then it's easy for you to explain it to someone else, or it's easy for you to just like rock up somewhere and be like let's do this. You know, like let me read your poem in the grocery store, like I can do that, but because I've done it like a lot, of.

Speaker 1 24:27

I have to bring it up, okay, cool, yeah, you're right.

Speaker 2 24:35

You're right. Okay, we got it. We got it. Practice makes perfect Cool.

Speaker 1 24:40

Yeah.

Speaker 2 24:41

Happy with that one.

Speaker 1 24:41

Yeah, cool, all right.

Speaker 2 24:44

We got to pick up the part.

Speaker 1 24:47

It's so hard to stop. It's hard for me, it's really hard for me to stop.

Speaker 2 24:51

It's gonna get too long right.

Speaker 1 24:53

Oh my God, yeah, okay, let's keep going. We're almost done. We have two more, and then we're done.

Speaker 2 24:57

Good things come to those who wait. Okay, here's a good one that we can really rip apart. Good things come to those who wait. Yeah, you want to have a little bit of patience. Oh man, but you know, yolo, you only live once, you only got so many years. Yeah, at some point you got to make things happen.

Speaker 1 25:17

Yeah.

Speaker 2 25:18

At some point you got to take the action. At some point you got to do the video. You got to jump out of the plane.

Speaker 1 25:22

You got to whatever it is, yeah, make it happen.

Speaker 2 25:26

Yeah, this is another like enabling quote, you know, or this like Good things come to those who wait.

Speaker 1 25:33

I feel like I hate that Honestly.

Speaker 2 25:36

I feel like this expression is like what Scrooge would say to like an employee who's like.

Speaker 1 25:41

Can I have a raise so I can pay for socks?

Speaker 2 25:43

And then Scrooge is like well, maybe next year good things come to those who wait, you know, and meanwhile he's like eating gold coins for dinner.

Speaker 1 25:52

Yeah, yeah, you've. This one bothers me. You got to take action, you got to make a decision. You got to like, and even if the decision is not right, even if the decision is like, like it just a decision. It could be a yes or no, but just make the decision.

Speaker 2 26:07

Yeah.

Speaker 1 26:08

You know, yeah. Or decide not to decide. That's a decision, even.

Speaker 2 26:14

Good, Good things come to those who take radical responsibility for the results that they get in life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Be patient, but patient doesn't mean like wasting time tolerating the intolerable, et cetera, et cetera. I'm glad this one's on the list because this one yeah, this is a good one to address. I think we skipped one didn't we?

Speaker 1 26:35

Did we, oh, actions speak louder than words.

Speaker 2 26:40

Actions speak louder than words, what about? But the pen is mightier than the sword. Is the? Like flip side the opposite of this expression. You see that, folks, all of these expressions are nonsense, everything is nonsense Everything. All of your communication is nonsense because it's made up, everything is made up, all these opinions, all these ideas.

Speaker 1 27:00

Anyways, yeah, don't listen to us actually.

Speaker 2 27:03

What's that?

Speaker 1 27:04

Don't listen to us actually, yeah, and especially us.

Speaker 2 27:07

Everything we're saying is total nonsense. Actions speak louder than words. What is the break down here? Words and actions are equally important in communication. Don't underestimate the impact of your words on those around you. That's a good point. And make sure they align with your actions. That's congruity.

Speaker 1 27:25

Well, this is the challenge, right. Whereas like actions speak louder than words, is implying that actions are important and words can also hold a lot of power and meaning. So right?

Speaker 2 27:41

No, I don't think that's what it's implying. I think what it's implying actions speak louder than words is like if a person's actions don't match the words, you must judge based on what they do, right? So what's?

Speaker 1 27:55

that like an NLP thing, where it's like the person is not their behavior.

Speaker 2 28:02

The NLP connection here would be the presupposition that we calibrate based on behaviors rather than words. Right, which is like if the client says I want to climb mountains, I'm ready to do it is different than the client saying I want to climb mountains. Here's a video of me last weekend climbing a mountain, proof that the behavior exists. Right. Action speak louder than words. Yeah, I mean.

Speaker 1 28:29

I mean, I don't know. I kind of believe this one, because if someone is talking it up about how they want to have a really successful business, and then they just kind of laze around all the time.

Speaker 2 28:43

Yeah.

Speaker 1 28:43

And like do you want to have a successful business or do you just want to, like, hang out?

Speaker 2 28:48

I think it's the totality of the circumstances, because if a person says they want to have a successful business and their behaviors that they're not taking action, that's very Like. The response is very different than if a person never says they want to have a successful business and their behavior is exactly the same they're just sitting around. And one of them we have a clear lack of congruence where maybe correction is required. And the other one, maybe this person's just like perfectly happy having a sedentary lifestyle and that's their right to have it. So then, I think, when considering a situation or whether action is required, we have to look at both.

Speaker 1 29:36

Yeah, actions and quotes. Yeah, okay, I'm down with that.

Speaker 2 29:42

No, alana doesn't agree. She says action, action, anyways. Yeah, I don't know I'm more action oriented.

Speaker 1 29:49

I think I'm more action oriented, you're the next person. Because that's like lip service, like someone who just pays you lip service, but then they never follow through with the action.

Speaker 2 30:00

Well, that's why totality of circumstances.

Speaker 1 30:02

Yeah, I like that, though that's congruence, yeah, so actions and words should be congruent. Yes, it doesn't sound as good as.

Speaker 2 30:16

As what? As actions?

Speaker 1 30:18

The totality of actions and words, the totality of everything.

Speaker 2 30:20

Yeah.

Speaker 1 30:22

All right we got that one. Good things coming.

Speaker 2 30:24

Wait, okay. And the last one. Oh, you can't teach. This is a good one. You can't teach an old dog new tricks. Yeah, this is the one to throw out the window right now. It's not true, even with dogs. Even with dogs, which is it's supposed to be a metaphor, but you can teach old dogs new tricks, new tricks, yeah.

Speaker 2 30:45

But it's a metaphor for people being set in their ways. I don't think that this expression has anything to do with age, by the way. I think this is a metaphor for people being set in their ways or having created habits and them being hard to change, and I think that that's a really disempowering belief. There are people who have smoked for 20 years who stop really quickly. There are people who have worked in one business, in one industry for however long, and start something totally different. Regardless of age, regardless of stage in life, I think the bigger determiner of kind of person forge new habits, create new behaviors, learn new tricks, so to speak is do they want to, are they willing to and are they willing to believe that it's possible?

Speaker 1 31:30

Yeah, Well, and this also ties into the phrase. This is just the way it is.

Speaker 2 31:38

Yeah.

Speaker 1 31:38

Or they're she or he is just the way they are. Like you hear that often too. Yeah, it's not true either.

Speaker 2 31:48

Yeah, people don't change, people can't change, it's all nonsense.

Speaker 1 31:52

Yeah, it's all nonsense. You can change. Anyone can change. If they're willing and able and they're ready to put in a little bit of the work, it's possible.

Speaker 2 32:01

Yeah.

Speaker 1 32:02

So do we want to go back up to the omelet, or are we done? Well, we might as well talk about it, because it's funny that you've never heard this expression before. No, I've never heard it.

Speaker 2 32:11

So maybe we can ask the audience have you heard the expression? If you want to make an omelet, you need to break some eggs, and you know what it means.

Speaker 1 32:18

Never heard it.

Speaker 2 32:19

So, Alana, before today hadn't heard it, or before, whenever you put together this list for us, I've heard this expression a million times Before we hit record. I was talking about what I think it means, which is like sometimes there's some sacrifice required for the greater good or for a desired result. You need to sacrifice the shell of the egg to get to the ingredient, raw egg, to create the omelet, the end product. You got to stuff her through university and college if you want to get the high paying professional job or whatever. After you got to build the house, lay all the bricks if you want to live in that. It's like when somebody's complaining about having to do some task, you say, well, if you want to have an omelet, you got to break some eggs.

Speaker 1 33:15

I suppose, yeah, but doesn't that go back to the one where we were talking about something that work? Yeah, I mean time heals all wounds. This is where I'm confused. You can make an omelet without breaking any eggs. No, you can't.

Speaker 2 33:32

But the expression does not imply that You're saying you must break the eggs if you want to make the omelet. It's not saying there's an alternative.

Speaker 1 33:42

Yeah, you can make an omelet without breaking any eggs if you're creative and resourceful. Don't let short-term thinking lead you to something unethical or harmful.

Speaker 2 33:52

I don't agree with that.

Speaker 1 33:54

This does not make sense to me.

Speaker 2 33:56

The expression makes sense, this sort of companion explanation here.

Speaker 1 34:01

Yeah.

Speaker 2 34:02

I mean we don't have to agree with that part. The expression makes sense. Is it helpful? I mean, I guess it depends how people interpret it. Like the word break is interesting, because I guess some people might interpret something breaking as always being bad.

Speaker 1 34:22

Yeah.

Speaker 2 34:23

Like if your car breaks down, that's bad, If the window is broken, that's bad. An egg breaks when you don't want it to. That's inconvenient. But an egg breaking in the context of cooking an omelet is not a bad thing. It's part of the process.

Speaker 1 34:40

Yeah, exactly there. I like that. It's all about the process.

Speaker 2 34:45

Yeah, when I was a kid I was at my grandmother's house and there used to be this commercial on television for the egg farmers of Ontario or something. And there's this farmer guy, the old farmer guy, like plaid jacket, hat, he's holding an egg. And in the commercial there's this like a little brief scene where he's like you can, he's holding it like upright he's like you can push on an egg end to end and as hard as you want, it won't break, right Because of the shape Like.

Speaker 2 35:20

And so my cousin takes an egg out of grandma's fridge and is like, and she's like squeezing it, she's just like he's ready it won't break.

Speaker 2 35:28

And then, as soon as she said that it explodes and like this egg white and yolk, like it hits the front of the like old school 70s, like olive drab green refrigerator and runs all the way to the bottom. And I remember she went and like grabbed a paper towel and wiped it off and something about the egg white like instantly discolored this green paint on my fridge and I don't remember if it was like. I think it like remained stained forever from that point on until they sold that house.

Speaker 1 36:06

Oh man.

Speaker 2 36:08

Anyways, so you got to break some eggs.

Speaker 1 36:10

You got to break some eggs. People Go break some eggs. It's all a part of the process.

Speaker 2 36:15

Yeah, that's it.

Speaker 1 36:17

I feel like there's another quote about the process, but I can't remember it right now. Trust the process.

Speaker 2 36:24

Maybe Screw the process, do what you want. Yeah, who knows?

Speaker 1 36:27

It's like a million things I don't know. Don't listen to any of these. Honestly, just Do what makes you happy.

Speaker 2 36:36

That's the thesis of today's episode.

Speaker 1 36:40

Make it all this old cliche advice.

Speaker 2 36:43

A lot of it's nonsense. Just do what makes you happy.

Speaker 1 36:46

But I think the moral of the story here is don't just whip these things around. You know when you're talking to people.

Speaker 2 36:52

Yeah yeah, be careful when you drop cliches because, like, it's very easy to say them out of habit without really thinking about what they actually mean or what they might imply. Yeah, cool.

Speaker 1 37:06

Cool Great. All right, that's it.

Speaker 2 37:10

That's it. So everybody should go join Alana's Ascension Circle. You definitely should join the Simple Social Sanctuary. Well, you also definitely should join the Ascension Circle. Join the Simple Social Sanctuary, I mean, even if you just want to hang out with me. Even if you don't care about my opinions and training and resources and cheat sheets and PDFs and stuff about social media, come hang out with me on a Zoom call twice a month, Sure.

Speaker 1 37:37

Yeah, have some apps.

Speaker 2 37:38

You know, seven bucks, you can't beat that Right. And network with other great minds you really can't beat them. Okay, so that's it for this episode.

Speaker 1 37:48

That's it.

Speaker 2 37:49

Cool.

Speaker 1 37:49

Bye.

Speaker 2 37:50

Bye, bye.