Simply Edify
We are Simply Edify. Our mission is to help strengthen your walk with the Lord. Our goal is to encourage women as we navigate the messiness of life through Biblical studies, personal stories, and practical tips that bolster our walk with Jesus daily.
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Simply Edify
Back At It!
Have you ever found yourself feeling simultaneously blessed and overwhelmed? The podcast returns after a much-needed break as April welcomes a new baby into her family, now juggling the needs of a four-month-old alongside children entering their teenage years. This conversation explores the beautiful mess of transitions and how they reveal both our deepest insecurities and God's sufficient grace.
Welcome back. It has been quite a while since we have done a podcast. It has been a minute, yes, and it is not without good reason, however, because I this is April speaking have had a baby, and she is now actually almost four months old. So, yeah, I know, I said it. The other day, somebody asked how old she was. I was like, oh man, yeah, she's almost four months old already.
Speaker 1:it goes by fast that is the best reason to take a break, so yes so we have been on a bit of a hiatus and, um, just enjoying life with a baby. So we are back, though, and today is just going to be kind of a small little intro back into the podcast world, because it's been a while. So, um, esty, what has God been doing in your life lately?
Speaker 2:Oh man, um, well, honestly, honestly, life has been good and after many years of just ups and downs and riding a lot of emotional roller coasters, um, the, the peace and like lack of chaos has been almost weird. Um, a lot of that. I mean. There's been a lot of good, a lot of good stuff going on over the years too. It's just, things are just very, I don't know, even even keeled right now, and I've realized in that a I don't always know how to operate like that.
Speaker 2:Um, there's a part of me that's like oh, I need to go create some drama.
Speaker 2:I do, I do thrive a little bit in chaos, and so I, um, even though I've been actively trying to like create a lifestyle that avoids that, I realized like, like it's something that's kind of ingrained in my brain, but also just now, now I am faced with myself.
Speaker 2:Before I've been kind of just like trying to navigate different situations and just different seasons of life that are very all-consuming, and now I'm like everything, everything's fine, everything's good for now, you know, um, but I have to like kind of look myself a little harder in the mirror, if that makes sense, and kind of do it with my own just my own personality and like the things that I don't necessarily love to look at like full in the face, if that makes any sense.
Speaker 2:And so I guess that God's just been kind of showing me things that are a little bit deeper, more heart issues that I need to work on, but then also like just some of the things that I, the things that I don't love about myself are often the things that God loves and that God seems to use. And then the things that I like, the things I'm the hardest on myself about, and then the things that I kind of like don't want to give up or kind of just pretend don't exist, are the things that God is trying to weed out, and so that's, I don't know. That's a little vague, I guess, but that that's probably.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, that's good. Don't mean to get into the weeds too much, but yeah, that makes sense In a lot of ways. I feel that you know, when we do that self-examining, we realize, oh, I guess God is using this part of me that I thought was like horrible and actually these parts that I thought were okay are really not that great.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and sometimes so. I spoke at a like a ladies meeting about a month ago and I shared some just really personal stories, and that's not hard for me to do. I'm very much an open book and I was just, you know, telling these kind of deeply personal stories and like laughing in between, because that's just how I am. The word that people kept saying to me over and over again was like you're, like, you were so vulnerable and like open and honest and transparent, and I just kept hearing words like that over and over again and I and it really people were. It was positive feedback and I like that's something I always like Estee, stop talking. Estee, shut up.
Speaker 2:Why did you say that? You said too much. They didn't need to hear all that. Or even just in normal conversation, I'm like, oh, my word, stop oversharing. So I beat myself up about that all the time and there's like there's times where I should really actually be quiet. But you know, god has been kind of showing me in different ways. Like you know, I use that. I know it's kind of messy, but like I use it and let me, let me use it for good.
Speaker 1:Right, right for good, right, right, that's great. Yeah, I think for myself lately, you know, kind of coming back into the role of that's not the way to say it being a mom to a new baby. Again it makes all of the I don't know. Just it has. It brings with it a whole bunch of self-reflection and introspection and all that kind of stuff. And especially with having older kids like alethea is going to be 13 in a few weeks, she's going to be 13, so we're walking into the teen years with the older kids and now having the newborn, like I find myself lacking again in areas and having those just the, the doubts of self being able to do the things and be the mom and be all of the things that you know we have when we are being pulled in multiple directions and, um, you know the insecurities I guess in in not feeling, cause I cause you kind of get into the groove, you know, as you have the old, the kids getting older and stuff, and you get me. You're like, okay, I can do this and this is all right and we're, we're, we're not that we've arrived've arrived, but we're, we're making it through and we've got our groove right and then all of a sudden it's like, ah, reset. And then, on top of reset, going into the teen years of you know and figuring that out. As far as I don't want to have the typical relationship with you know, my kids of all the teens are horrible and they've got such bad attitudes and not, you know, enjoying. I wanted to have a good relationship with them and so, walking through that the right way too, I find myself definitely lacking in areas.
Speaker 1:So recently our pastor at church had gone through the series of the dirty dozen, talking about the disciples and then also Paul, and he just pulled out different things through the whole series. That really kind of struck home for me as far as, like that, really kind of struck home for me as far as, like you know, just what you know of them is that they were just ordinary, plain guys. You know, they had their struggles. Peter was always putting his foot in his mouth and he denied Christ three times and he just had that overwhelming sense of you know, take charge but go in the wrong direction. I'm going to, I'm going to do this and it's going to be great, but it's totally wrong and just relatable.
Speaker 1:And you know, paul, he described himself, as you know, not being a great speaker or, you know, one of the more eloquent people, but just being able to, god still used him to, well, really put forth the gospel to the Gentiles and write the majority of the new Testament. And you know people, even with his infirmity, you know. We don't know what that is, but he said that he had some sort of a physical problem, right and, and he said that, well, I'll just read the verse so that I don't butcher it, there'll be a better that way. Um. And he said unto me my grace is sufficient for the um. And he said unto me, my grace is sufficient for thee, for my strength is made perfect in weakness.
Speaker 1:Most gladly, therefore, will I glory in my infirmities. That the power of christ may rest upon me. Therefore, I take pleasure in infirmities and reproaches and necessities and persecutions and distresses for Christ's sake, for when I am weak, then am I strong. And so, just taking away from that these past couple of weeks like it, I don't need to rest in my own strength and my own ability to get through the day, to have all of the things that I think need to be, all the boxes that I think need to be checked, checked. I can rely on Christ and his strength and he, through me, can be strong. And when I'm leaning on him and making him the priority and the focus of my day and not like, oh, I have to do this, this, this, this, you know I can, I can do what he has for me and and we'll all work out one way or another.
Speaker 2:So well, the nice thing about having older kids is, you know, like even if you don't get it all right, it's still gonna be all right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm definitely much more chill with Talia than I am, than I was with the other ones.
Speaker 2:I think back to that phase of our life because we were very much in the thick of it together.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because we were very much in the thick of it together and when I go back and think like I instantly just get this like knot of anxiety and I cause it's just part of the memory. I just was so anxious the whole time, and not like I didn't trust God kind of anxious, but just I just was living with this like adrenaline, fear, I think of just all the things and trying to do all the things.
Speaker 1:I think a lot of it was just the pure lack of sleep and living on exhaustion.
Speaker 2:Truly and I, yes, like I think that was a lot of it and I don't have that anymore, like I mean, my kids are old enough that I mostly sleep, and so it's a whole different world.
Speaker 2:And I think back and I'm like, oh my word, we survived it. But truly, like that verse has actually been playing in my mind a lot recently. You know, I just see my inadequacies and they're real, and sometimes it's not just me being hard on myself or me being, you know, I just I just see my inadequacies and they're real, and sometimes it's not just me being hard on myself or or me being, you know, believing lies of the enemy and all that stuff that sometimes, you know, those negative thoughts can be. Sometimes, it's true, like sometimes you do have faults, you do have weaknesses, and recognizing them is not it is good. But also realizing that when you take those weaknesses and give them to Jesus, he lets his strength comes through and he's the one that gets you through. And I don't know, I just am very, I think that I'm aware of my weaknesses and then all of a sudden I find new ones and I'm like oh Well, that's, that's there.
Speaker 1:Sanctification, right, we won't, we won't be perfect till we get to heaven.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and I have no pretenses of thinking that I've arrived so Right, no, that I mean.
Speaker 1:That is definitely one thing.
Speaker 2:Like I said, we get in these things, these moments of time where we're like, oh, I think I've like arrived, and then something comes and it was like it's been a long time. One day she asked me if she had to be good in heaven, and I was like you're not even going to have to try, like you're just going to be good, and she was like, right, I was like yeah, and I hadn't really thought about it. But man, what a relief. Like that's such a. We talk about all the things about heaven, but the fact that we're not going to be striving anymore, we're not going to be, we're not going to have weaknesses, we're not going to be fighting our flesh anymore. Right, beam me up, because it's fantastic.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, that's great and I look forward to Going further With this podcast. We're going to try to start Kind of a missions focus for a little while and take it from there and see how it goes. Uh, maybe talk to a few missionaries or people who have been on trips recently. We'll see how that goes. It's a little tricky with time differences and things like that, but we'll see what we can do. So yeah, we're glad to be back in the groove.
Speaker 1:Yeah, let your friends know, let let family know that we're back on and ready to ready to go. I guess you?
Speaker 2:sound so confident, you sound so confident yeah no, I'm glad. I'm glad because I get to visit with you. That means like, definitely, yeah, we have to do a podcast, okay, no, you don't have to ask me twice. I am next time you need to bring on's. Bring on talia and let just just to hear her little cues, her little baby, oh yeah she's, I said her name wrong I said her name wrong. No, talia oh, okay, yeah, okay and honestly, it depends on who you ask.
Speaker 1:In my family, because brian says it a little different than I do what does?
Speaker 2:he call her italia.
Speaker 1:He like says it probably not like. He just has a different way to pronounce the a like.
Speaker 2:He says it a little more like he sounds more new york than you do, when I know if he's that's different yeah, so anyways, she can be our next guest yes, all right, we'll talk to you guys later.
