What Would Your Life Look Like If You Treated Yourself Like Someone You Love?

Self-compassion might be the missing ingredient in your quest for happiness and fulfillment. When we stumble, make mistakes, or face challenges, many of us immediately launch into harsh self-criticism rather than offering ourselves the understanding and kindness we'd readily extend to a friend. This unhealthy pattern keeps us trapped in cycles of negative self-talk and emotional suffering.

Daniel Malcolm dives deep into the three essential pillars of self-compassion that can transform how you relate to yourself. First, mindfulness - becoming aware of your emotions without letting them control you. Emotions come and go like waves; recognizing this truth creates space between feeling and reaction. Second, self-kindness - treating yourself with the care and consideration you deserve. This doesn't require grand gestures but simple daily acts that honor your needs and wellbeing. Third, recognizing our common humanity - understanding that everyone struggles and faces challenges, connecting us rather than isolating us in our suffering.

The episode explores practical techniques to cultivate greater self-compassion, including silent meditation, gratitude journaling, and positive self-talk using powerful "I am" affirmations. Daniel shares personal experiences implementing these practices and the profound difference they've made in his life, particularly in managing emotions and appreciating the present moment. When you stop beating yourself up and start practicing genuine self-compassion, you create a foundation for authentic happiness and more meaningful connections with others. After all, if you don't love yourself, how can you truly love someone else? Subscribe to Positive Day Podcast and join a community dedicated to personal growth through self-compassion and positivity.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to Positive Day Podcast
• 1:37 Understanding Self-Compassion
• 4:59 Being Kind to Yourself
• 9:11 Recognizing Shared Human Struggles
• 12:27 Silent Meditation and Journaling
• 16:33 Positive Self-Talk and Gratitude
• 22:14 Accepting Criticism and Final Thoughts

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:06

Hello, hello and welcome. Welcome to Positive Day Podcast. I'm your host, daniel Malcolm, thank you, thank you and welcome. Please subscribe so you never miss an episode again, and please leave a review. Wherever you're listening to me, like Positive Day on Positive Day Podcast, on Facebook, on YouTube, wherever you're listening to me, please leave a review, leave a comment, let me know what you think. Give your a comment about something you want me to head to talk about a little bit more.

Speaker 1: 0:43

I just want to begin today. First, I just want to say thank you to all my my listeners. Thank you for your support, thank you, just thank you. I appreciate that and through you, through your encouragement, through your downloads, that I get the encouragement to continue, to continue with another episode. Every time I see your comments, I see the amount of downloads, I keep on saying thank you and I appreciate that. So I just want to say thank you, thank you again.

Speaker 1: 1:14

And today I just want to talk about things. Certain things have been going on, certain things have been happening and I just feel like we as human beings don't practice enough of self-compassion for ourselves. We have compassion for other people. We hear other people's stories, things happening to other people. We feel sorry for them, we feel bad for them, but we don't have for ourselves. So today's podcast is about some self-compassion, practicing self-compassion for yourself, and this is something I used to do. I used to didn't have enough for myself. I used to beat myself a lot on if I promised to do something for myself and I didn't do it, if I said I would do something and I didn't do it. So I used to beat up myself a lot and I just came across again. I do a lot of reading, so if I read something, information comes up. I just oh, let me share that with my listeners and I just today is about a little self-compassion stop beating up ourselves and three pillars of really self-compassion, three pillars that really build you, motivate you and strengthen you in changing the way you think. And stop beating up on yourself.

Speaker 1: 2:55

And that is being mindfulness, being aware of your emotions, being aware of where you're at, being aware of your circumstances. Where you're at being aware of your circumstances, the same way you just you hear people's story and then you feel sympathetic, you start praying for them, you start doing how I can help. Do you do that for yourself? And you need to be self-aware of who you are self-aware of yourself, self-aware of what's around you, self-aware, and when you're self-aware, especially with the emotion and this kind of today's podcast came about, episode came about with a friend told me, do not let your emotions take over you this week, and I was like wow.

Speaker 1: 3:53

So I wrote it down and throughout the week I was just monitoring myself and see, and I realized at the time, throughout the day, I let my emotions take over. Especially I'm the type I eat a lot, I munch a lot. So when I'm kind of getting a little hungry, I just let that take over my mood, my strength and I was like whoa, you're just hungry, have some water. Don't let because emotion comes and go. They are like waves, it's like the wind. It comes and goes and you don't want to let that emotion take over.

Speaker 1: 4:25

So be mindful of where you're at, be aware of your emotions and don't let those emotions take over. If you're aware of of your emotions, you have what's happening to you. Then you can realize and say, hey, it's because I'm hungry, let me have some more, some more, let me go grab a bite so I don't have to like act react on this, this type of way. Be kind to yourself to like, act, react on this type of way. Be kind to yourself. When's the last time you spent some time with yourself? Do something you love, treat yourself. And again, I always say it doesn't have to be something expensive. Treating yourself doesn't have to be something lavish. It doesn't have to be.

Speaker 1: 5:06

It's like today I'm going to get up and I will spend an extra 10, 15 minutes in bed to read. I'm going to go for a walk. I'm not going to go with my headphones, I'm not going to go with music. I'm just going to go and enjoy what's around me. Today, I'm going to be kind to myself and I'll spend an extra two minutes in the shower. Today, I'm going to be kind to myself and I'll spend an extra two minutes in the shower. Today I'm going to be kind to myself. I'm not going to eat that fast food. Today, I'm going to be kind to myself. I'm going to pray for something that I really want in my life, something I'm looking forward to, for my goal Today. Everything I'm going to do today is going to be towards my goal, what I want in my future, what I want next week to be like, what I want the end of this week to be like. Those are ways of being kind to yourself.

Speaker 1: 6:01

Be on understanding you, because no one can understand you better than you. So understand you and see what you need, see what boosts you, see what drives you, see what motivates you, and and do that for yourself. Do that for yourself, it's, it's. If it was for somebody else you'd gladly run and do it. You just so jump and do it. And one of my really generous best friends, he would jump, do anything for anyone in a heartbeat and he would not do it for himself. It will take him a long time. He has to think it through, he has to process it through, he has to look at all the good, the bad, he has to wait, but for other people he just does it and doesn't think of it. And I spent last week with him and I realized that he made me aware of even doing that more to myself, for myself, because I remember once I was like him. I would do a jump for anybody.

Speaker 1: 7:16

When it comes to myself, it's like I would give myself the bottom of the barrel like the end the bits and I tell myself this is not a way to love yourself. If you love yourself, you have to get the cream of the crop the best. When you get the best for yourself, you realize how strong, how powerful you are and with that you will be able to help and support and do amazing things for other people. Because we're going to look at you and see, wow, look at how you treat yourself and you think you can treat me any better. It's like love. If you don't love yourself, how can you love someone else If you're not kind to yourself? How can you be kind to someone else If you're not compassionate to yourself? You have no compassion for yourself. You don't sit and think and realize I'm tired, I'm thirsty, I'm hungry, I need to take some time off for me, I need to do something for me. If you don't do that for yourself, how can you do that for someone else? Understand you offer yourself love and another part of self-compassion.

Speaker 1: 8:32

It's like understand, recognize that everyone has struggles. Everyone is going through something. Everyone has some challenges in their lives that they're going through, they're working through, they're going through something, and understand that. And when you understand that, you will understand that you are going through something too. I didn't realize. Recognize that people are going through things. I spent my vacation two weeks ago, three weeks ago, with my two brothers in St Lucia, and it wasn't spending time with them Together. We were together and I realized that we all go through things we all were going through. We all spoke about the same thing that is affecting us and it was all about our family and we didn't realize that the three of us, we were going through the same thing. And just saying that it didn't come to my mind until I actually realized that we all have struggles and I didn't realize that. The same struggle I have of trying to understand, trying with my family, that my other siblings had the very same issue and that just made me realize that I'm not alone, I'm not doing anything in the way that I'm actually feeling, and that helped me to understand, that gave me encouragement that if we feel the same, we're going to work together and fix it and make it better or find a solution or find something. So just remember, when you're trying to, you're hard on yourself, you're beating up yourself, you're not're not like. Just understand that other people go through this, have the same, not the same, struggle. Other people going through struggle too in their lives. So don't be hard on yourself, love yourself, give yourself a big hug, give yourself some love, trust yourself, trust the power that you have within you, because we all are created with our power within us. So trust that and understand that. Trust the process.

Speaker 1: 11:21

Practice is something I it's. It started like not long ago in my life and two weeks ago I started silent yoga, like 10 minutes of total silence and just my. But my mind was crazy. Even my mind was scared. My mind was going all over the place of things that I never thought of in my life, that my mind would just bring it up and I had to bring myself back to my breathing. I was counting my breathing while my brain was just shut down and it's like my brain's gone on a race, Start thinking of things and bringing it back. And I've learned through this silence, yoga, just being silenced with myself. The first few days were hard on me, but in the middle of the week it became better and better. A little less, a little less stronger, and just practice that. Practice breathing In and out and just listen to yourself. Put your hands on your chest and just listen to your breathing. Count your breathing, just count your breathing, just take it easy on yourself, don't be hard on yourself. And those are all. Those are all the signs.

Speaker 1: 12:55

I don't say things on my podcast that I haven't practiced or I haven't done or I'm not a witness to or I've experienced with and and I started you practicing yoga a long time ago, but every time I try to get a different kind. And it's been my third week on silent meditation and this is amazing. It really, and again it calms me down, for work was very hectic and practicing the silent helped me in so many ways at work. When I get to work, to just silence the noise, silence everything that's happening around me, and just focus on me, focus on doing what I need to do, and let the outside energy, the outside noise just go away and just leave me in peace and just go.

Speaker 1: 13:57

And another thing of self-moving technique is journaling. You know I'm a big fan of that writing my thoughts, writing how I feel, writing what I want, writing what I want to happen to me, saying amazing affirmations to myself. Writing journaling is such an amazing thing. I wouldn't stop saying that. It's the same way. I was not a big reader before and throughout the years, I just learned to start reading, reading. And I just want to share that same thing with you practicing journaling, yeah, and last week on my trip, when I went on my vacation, I brought a gratitude journal with me just to write gratitude, only things that I'm grateful for on my trip, both front and back, of just writing gratitude, gratitude, things that I'm so grateful for, things that I'm so happy in my life.

Speaker 1: 15:18

And with this I must say that I am so happy and grateful that I spend my time with my brothers in St Lucia. It was an eye-opening for me. It was a new thing that I haven't experienced in a long time Been in the midst of my family, full of love, compassion, understanding. I don't think there's words that can explain or put that down for me and I want to leave that with you. Spend some time with family. This will really really family with positive energy. I don't want you to go spend time with family. That just drains you, suck the energy out of you. Only talk about things of the past, just being present in the power of now. We were on the beach having barbecue and just enjoying the power of now. We were on the beach having barbecue and just enjoying the power of now. I don't even remember what we spoke about, but we were just there talking about us and the power of now and just enjoying what was just happening, the present, and I'm so happy and grateful that I had the opportunity to do that, to do that. I just want to share that with you. I'm putting this out there. Spend time with family members. That will bring you up, that will encourage you, just support you, laugh. Just have a good time with. Just have a good time with Something else that will make you, that will really help you in not beating up yourself is positive self-talk.

Speaker 1: 16:53

I have a podcast on that already. Please, let us stop thinking negative things. Let us stop thinking bad things about ourselves. Let's talk about the things we want in our lives I am great, I am, whatever you want, I am the word, I am. I was reading, I was listening to a podcast and it was about how powerful I am is and I really I'm going to do a podcast on that. I am, I am and say something good about yourself. Please I'm just putting. I just really want you to actually change the way you think, change the way you talk about yourself. Start with I am. You.

Speaker 1: 17:44

Get up on mornings and say I am wonderful, I'm great, I'm happy. You may not be happy in where you want to be, but you're happy where you're at because you're up, you have life, you're up, you have a roof, you're up, you have like five cents in your pocket. Like this is where I am happy means it's not at where you want to be, because if you're not happy in where you're at, how can you be happy where you're going to be? If you're not happy with $20, how could the universe make you be happy with $50? Be happy where you are and speak good things to yourself. I am blessed, I am abundant, I am beautiful, I am kind, I'm loving.

Speaker 1: 18:37

Look at yourself and look at the things that you lack of, the things in your self-confidence that you need, the things that you need, you want in your life, the things that matters to you, the thing that makes a difference in your life, the things you want. Tell it to yourself I am, I am, I am and encourage yourself. If you're right now, you're looking at my wall presently in front of me, there are so many little sticky notes that I write about myself that I want to remind myself, I want to tell myself about me, that I want to see and people will meet me and a lot of my coworkers will tell you that I think that probably the way I walk, the way I talk, the way I present myself, that I think I'm better than everyone. I am not. I have never seen or looked at anyone like this and people that sit out about you, people that admire the qualities in you If, like I walk, like it is my last day on earth and I am happy where I'm at not where I want to be, but where I'm at. I do not want to control anything or anyone, not even myself, because sometimes I promise myself things and I don't even do. It's just allow yourself some love, encouragement, right where you are. Be appreciative of the present, and this is something I had took me a while to work upon and it will be really, really like my best time of my day is when I'm leaving work, driving home, I go through my whole day and I give gratitude thanks for every bit of everything that happens to me throughout my day. If I miss something, if something happened to me that I wasn't happy with, I go back and said and I can fix it, but I send it love, and if it's something someone says that I said to them that it hurt them in some way. Some kind of way I send them love, because that was never my intention to hurt anyone or make anyone feel bad or anything.

Speaker 1: 21:16

Because I'm a self-expression person, I'm an emotional person. I express myself and that is why, last week, controlling my emotion was something very, very, very good for me last week and I put that into my week. Do not let my emotions take over me, but control my emotions. Emotions are waves. They come and go. Don't let it take over. Take a minute, breathe in, breathe out and realize why am I acting this way? Fine, just control your emotion.

Speaker 1: 21:52

Something we don't do for ourselves, we don't do to really help us stop beating up ourselves, stop not understanding ourselves, is we don't focus on the good things in our lives. We spend so much time looking for things and not focusing on the good things in our lives. When you, after you finish listening to this podcast, I want you to go and write down the good things in your life, the good things that are in your life. Celebrate your achievements, celebrate the things that are unique to you, the things that matters to you, the things in your life. Look around you and write those things down and make this part of your gratitude, your affirmation, every single day.

Speaker 1: 22:49

Something I did at very same practice, and something that, if it was taken away from me, how my life would be, I still don't understand how my life would be was taking away my car from me. And I was like, wow, if my car is taken away from me, how I love to drive, how would my life be? And I started writing every day I am so happy and grateful for my car, I'm so happy and grateful that I have a car, I'm so happy and grateful that my car is functioning and I called my car babes and I walk around and when I'm walking towards my car to go in, I say, hey, how are you doing? I'm so happy and grateful that you are in my life, because if that was taken away from me, I can't believe, I can't imagine what my life would be like. So let's appreciate. Let's take time out to appreciate and what's in front of us, what's present to us, what's present to us, and enjoy the power of now. Let's not beat up ourselves. The same way you'd be, you'd run out there and try to help and comfort and hug and be there for someone. Let's be there for ourselves, spend time with ourselves, love ourselves, appreciate ourselves Something.

Speaker 1: 24:23

Another thing that I had a tough time working on, very, very hard time working on was accepting criticism, that is, supportive ways I can improve myself and better myself. This was a challenge in my life and it was me through being self-aware, accepting that I'm not perfect, and accept that I want to grow, I want to improve, and I get a lot of criticism from people about my podcast and I take that criticism as support with love and how I could make it better, because I want to better myself. I want to better myself. I want that everything that I say to you is from my heart. Everything that I say to you is from my heart. Everything that I say to you is true and is full of love, and it's my path that it means something to someone. It touches or improve or better. Someone lives and that's all Positive Day.

Speaker 1: 25:38

My podcast is about. I speak to you, I share my experience with you and everything that I share with you, I just pray, hope, believe that it will touch someone. A seed, a spark will touch your life and when that seed or spark touch your life, you will pass it on to someone else and it could make your day better. This is all what positive is about. This is all where I am.

Speaker 1: 26:05

I'm not here to make you feel that I'm better than you. I'm not here to make you feel that you're doing something wrong. I'm not here to feel that that you're you're not worthy. You're worthy, you're good enough, worthy, you're good enough, you're good. You're better than anyone anything that's around. If you see yourself that way, that you're open, you're opening yourself to love, to understand, to grow, to develop. If you are not opening yourself to that, you're not growing, you're not there for change, you're not there to make your life better. So look at the good in your life and appreciate yourself, love yourself, and this is what positive day is about.

Speaker 1: 26:51

And as I leave you every time, I just want to tell you thank you, love yourself, be kind to yourself.

Speaker 1: 27:02

Don't be too hard on yourself when things are not going your way, things are not going the way you want it. Give up control and just know that the universe you created for a purpose and a reason and maybe it's not aligning with what you're supposed to do, be or become. So do not be hard on yourself. Give yourself some love, love yourself, allow yourself to be happy. Do something for yourself, and if you don't love yourself, how can you expect someone else to love you? Till next time, love you, you are special, you are enough and you are worthy. Thank you for listening again and I hope that this podcast touch you, heal you, move in some way or some kind. Don't forget subscribe dan malcolm positive or on facebook or positive day on on facebook. I'm on instagram or wherever you're listening to me. I'm on spotify positive day. I hope it touches you, hold you, move you and field you and don't forget to share, share the love and thank you and thank you again.